Zambia

[Jim01]

098 093 703 - that's the number of the whacky ganga one who nicked my shades. Called Thandi.

She's on par for attractiveness.

Hopefully me ditching her would have taught her the lesson that bad attitude doesn't pay off but somehow I doubt it. Deffo worth 1-2 nights. YMMV

Just watch your sunglasses :-)

[Jim01]

Her name is Natasha on 098 070 079.

That will be her mate's/sister's/mother's number. You'll have to figure out how to get through to her as she'll probably have no credit to ring you back if she doesn't answer phone.

Don't mention me or this site to her please.

If you can't get through to her by phone you will find her in Alpha as that's where she, ummm, works :-)

[Zambeef]

Same night, met the girl I had met on the 1st night. Agreed on 100,000 (£13) and off we went to my place... Decided to knock about with this one...

I'm not sure if you like to keep a hold of your past exploits, or if when you're through, you're through. Would you be willing to pass on any info about your 'knock about girl' offsite, or is that not exactly your style either? Just wondering. As I mentioned I am IN Lusaka but don't really get to check out the nightlife on my own. So it's difficult to make new contacts.

Don't judge me guys, every now and then things come on a silver platter... Just thought I'd ask. Thanks.

Zambeef

[Jim01]

Ruff Ryder

That's the best one of her. Don't take nude or porno photos. Not my style.

But here's another pic you might find funny.

Don't worry if all the guesthouses are full - just check in here.

(I had to edit it in MS Paint as some of the real life paint had worn off but it did certainly say "Girl Friendly...". It's around the corner from Likute Guest House)

[Zambeef]

Having lived in many different African countries incl. Zambia I feel compelled to give you peace of mind, if I may say so.
...
If you do this in the US, then what are you waiting for?

Hey, I was asking for it. Thanks. I will keep you guys posted, and will hopefully get some pics worth posting sometime too. There really are NO recent pics here, are there. I mean 'detailed' pics.

I asked before about recommended locations for hotels or other establishments where I could check in for a couple hours then skip out (no credit card needed). Any updated ideas, even prices are appreciated. I am still more or less getting aquainted with Lusaka. Thanks again.

Zambeef

[Ruff Ryder]

The Lusaka lady I knocked about with.

This is a cutie, Jim01! Any more of her, especially nudes?

[Xxxphree]

Brother S,

I second that conviction!

Please believe what the gentleman is saying!

YES

[Schuerzenjaeger]

Have any of you guys ever tried the cards on the table "street proposition" in downtown Lusaka or surrounding? I have noticed that in most of the posts and experiences you seasoned professionals have found the tried and true pick up locations where you are approached. That sounds perfect. If you are traveling solo, and have the time.

I have seen so many divine thin things walking around downtown, dressed to be looked at, that don't mind looking you in the eyes. Unfortunately I do not have the freedom to play the sugar daddy role, or take them back to my place due to my attachments. Have any of you gentlemen tried any form of street proposition approach, even in the bars- or do you wait for the right girl to grab the seat next to you?

I'm ballsy enough to try it back in the US because you can read the 'right kind of girl' like a book. But I wonder if I try the brief introduction, a little conversation, then business technique- will the girls here totally be offended. Most are so shy, especially around foreigners. I wonder if the allure of kwatcha would be enough, or I'd be paying off ploice within the hour.

If any of you have experiences or suggestions in this direction, I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

Zambeef

Having lived in many different African countries incl. Zambia I feel compelled to give you peace of mind, if I may say so.

Generally speaking, any woman dressed to tease or show will be happy to receive attention. One that looks you into the eye anyway. That attention might be just a compliment, but you can add a proposition very quickly. The only thing to remember: In Africa, everybody does everything, but everybody keeps a certain aura of morality or innocence. What I want to say is: Don't ask her directly if she wants to shag, but invite her for the classical dinner/drinks. If you have constraints in the evening, a lunch will do, too.

On your second date, tell her to meet you straight at a certain hotel that you have obviously checked out before. Or invite her to your office, impress her with some technical goodies and fuck her on your desk.

It does work everywhere, with most ladies I have seen or met. You will be surprised, in any shop, on the street, wether dressed in hot pants or traditional dresses. You can even collect dates at your local church, if you want.

If you wonder how to start: "Excuse me, can I talk to you? I saw you walking. Blah. Blah. Really nice dress. "

Alternativley: "I am looking for this and that (post office), can you help me? " You really don't need to say anything sophisticated. Give her a smile and look her into the eyes and she will immediately know that you don't give a fuck about the post office.

In your case, as you can't afford to sneak out to the pick-up joints, the pick-up-where-ever-you-go should be the best. Maybe get a second SIM-Card or a second mobile phone so that you don't need to give out your main number and you can decide when you are reachable for your new girls. Believe me, they will call you and there is nothing more embarrassing then having to pick up while dining with your wife.

Don't worry about them knowing about your constraints. Lay your cards on the table and there will be no problem. In fact, I still have to meet an African who does not have at least one girlfriend in addition to his wife. I think most of my friends have two or three. And everybody plays that way, and everybody knows it, and everybody tries to pretend (at least for a short while) that they are good guys or women.

If you do this in the US, then what are you waiting for? And get the ones that are attracted by the prospect of exciting moments with an exotic (white) stranger combined with some spoiling. Forget the ones that are lured simply by kwatcha.

[AfAsia]

I wonder if I try the brief introduction, a little conversation, then business technique- will the girls here totally be offended.

Zambeef

Mate,

I am yet to set foot in Zambia, perhaps we will correct this in July. Cannot comment on this precise location just yet. However, it is my experience of first, being born and brought up in Africa, and having travelled in Africa, most African women are highly approachable and are flattered so. Offended? I doubt not.

I presume you are American. My feeling is that some women may in some small way be intimidated at the sound of your accent. You will have a little more work to do, putting them at ease, bringing out the nice guy and of course the smile should do, i reckon. An interesting question you have raised.

[Zambeef]

Have any of you guys ever tried the cards on the table "street proposition" in downtown Lusaka or surrounding? I have noticed that in most of the posts and experiences you seasoned professionals have found the tried and true pick up locations where you are approached. That sounds perfect. If you are traveling solo, and have the time.

I have seen so many divine thin things walking around downtown, dressed to be looked at, that don't mind looking you in the eyes. Unfortunately I do not have the freedom to play the sugar daddy role, or take them back to my place due to my attachments. Have any of you gentlemen tried any form of street proposition approach, even in the bars- or do you wait for the right girl to grab the seat next to you?

I'm ballsy enough to try it back in the US because you can read the 'right kind of girl' like a book. But I wonder if I try the brief introduction, a little conversation, then business technique- will the girls here totally be offended. Most are so shy, especially around foreigners. I wonder if the allure of kwatcha would be enough, or I'd be paying off ploice within the hour.

If any of you have experiences or suggestions in this direction, I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

Zambeef

[Jim01]

speed - thanks for the rod.

my advise would be to avoid lusaka. it's uninspiring.

if you like the activities, there's enough things to do in livingstone to spend a full 2 weeks there. with no safari, there's enough for 6-10 days.

there's plenty of trans-country buses roaming all over the place but i never got to know the routes.

zambia does do visa on arrival at lusaka airport, but my crappy airline insisted on visa at check in so i had to go to the zambian embassy and get one. i would check up on it.

plenty of cash machines in lusaka and livingstone, but only my credit card worked and not my debit card. i would get travellers cheques.

[AfAsia]

Mate,

Great report, sent you to ROD.

Hoping to take a bus journey up from Johannesburg, via Botswana, Zimbabwe and then on to Lusaka and Livingstone as you have recommended. That`s if there is any such service, this is just in my phantom world at the moment, got some planning to do, possible mid July. Any advice you could offer would be welcomed, Zambia that is.

Did you obtain your visa on arrival, if so, was this problematic at all? I should imagine cash machines are available in Zambia? Plan on spending five days or so in Zambia, long enough? Still got to work my way down to Mozambique, after - to my honey - should be totally spent by then, plan to do all this in a twenty one day period. Have to eat my spinach for this trip.

[Jim01]

The Lusaka lady I knocked about with.

[Schuerzenjaeger]

Mate, excellent report informative and stylewise.

Keep up the good work.

Any illustrations?

[Jim01]

at nairobi airport, coming home, i had about 8 hours to wait to connect so i decided to write this report to pass the time whilst everything was all fresh in my head.

day 1, thursday - arrived at 12pm. got a taxi from lusaka airport for 60,000 (£7.50) which is about as low as they will go to.

stayed at reed mat lodge. pleasant gardens but not recommended as it's too far from town and to get a taxi at night involves a bit of a dodgy walk until you will get one at a busy roundabout.

nice food though for about 25,000 (£3).

went during the day to the two shopping malls: arcades and manda hill on the look out for chicks. 1st impressions were distinctly unimpressive as the malls are completely western style. didn't come to africa to go to western style shopping malls. checked out during the day o' hagans and times bar. felt a bit of a norman no-mates and didnt see any potential chicks.

was also distinctly unimpressed with the amount of muzungos (white people) around. dunno why they are there but they don't look like expats. a lot look like they live there.

that night went out about 9ish to times and it was just full of african men.

checked out rhapsodies on the other side of the mall and it was full of african men and whites who loooked like they were expats or lived there. (went there on other nights and there were chicks looking to be picked up).

left dissapointed and went to alpha bar in northmeads.

northmeads is more of an african-style area. it used to be a bit dodgy at night due to street kids but the kids (some young men) have been moved up to the crossroads up the road a bit. (don't walk past those crossroads at night).

got into alpha bar and was fairly impressed. definitely a bar where you have to have your wits about you. ie don't have easily pick-pocketable pockets, don't bring your camera, only been seen at the bar when you have to get your money out with no more than 50,000 etc.

waiters in there are ok but i deffo had a shortchange attempt by one of the prick bar staff on a busy night. so if you are giving a 50,000 note, just say something like "there's a 50, have you got change".

drinks are 3000 coke (£0.40), 7000 single spirit about 25ml (£0.90) 8000 bottle of beer (£1). music is hip-hop, r&b and zambian.

zambian music is the best african music i have heard. it's better than ghana's highlife because highlife lends more towards r&b / hip-hop whereas zambia's lends more towards traditional african style but has western influences of percussion and bass.

sat down on my own and was politely approached by 2 chicks who sat either side of me. they were quite nice, asked for drinks, i declined and moved on as i needed to fully assess what else was available. one of them a few days later became one of the girls i knocked about with.

anyway, saw another girl who caught my eye and had fun in the club with her and her mate in the club in a nice way, bouncing bums whilst dancing etc.

took the one home with the nicer hair style. made a bit of a mistake as she had mild bo.

when you first arrive, you will be getting bo smells all over the place (say, if you use their mini buses). not because they are dirty, it's just because they can't afford deodrant. after a while you will get used to it and won't think of it as bo but just as someone's body odour. with your chick, you do get into it in a animalistic way.

anyway, the mild bo she had should have been my warning to check out her breath which i didn't do thoroughly enough. as, in the morning, her breath was like someone's who doesn't floss but needs too.

in all the african countries i've been to africans don't floss. they are usually good with toothpicks but will look at you as you floss with puzzlement. if you don't floss yourself - shame on you brits (most americans floss) - then it won't be so much of an issue. but if you do floss, then you really need to check out chick's breath.

unpleasant to talk about bo and breath but it's best that you get the full picture.

anyway, before she became too smelly - heh - we did make love. "make love" isn't too soppy bolloxs a term to use as it was quite sweet and tender and she deffo enjoyed it and orgasmed.

no bj was offered or asked for but she did give me another ride in the morning at her instigation.

day 2 fri: would have got rid of her but as i was new to town i thought i would take her to arcades and have a beer and see how we got on. maybe teach her about floss - hehe. quickly became apparent that she's not the girl for me so offered her some money for the taxi. (money hadn't been discussed the night before). i hadn't bothered changing my uk money so i was low on kwacha (their money). tried palming her off with a lousy 30,000 (£3.80). got the response that 30k was nothing. she was right, most alpha bar chicks won't accept 30,000 but i didn't know the prices and was feeling the "gauge". she turned down my 2nd offer of 50,000 (£6.40). didn't have any other kwacha, only had a £20 note (160,000). knew this was way too much to give her, but as i had no kwacha, i gave it to her and said nicely thanks for the nice time but i can't afford you with a kiss on the check.

it's a good idea to leave on good terms as you will see the same girls in alpha on other nights but needed to get my little line in as i don't like overpaying.

after she had gone, did more norman no mates stuff looking for chicks but not much going on.

you can always go and try and get one in the supermarket but even though i'm not that shy, i'm not that brave either.

that night went to, guess where, alpha bar. much busier as it was friday. met a fairly hot, whacky, dreadlocked chick and talked about money up front. we agreed on 80,000 (£10). sent her off with 5000 to get ganga and in the meantime a completely non-pro came and flirted with me so i quickly got her back to my hotel whilst the whacky one was out looking for ganga.

so i lost 5000 on the ganga as whacky smoked it but at least i saved 80,000 as the non-pro wasn't after money: declined taxi money in the morning. non-pro wasn't up for sex but would have let me cum on her boobs. unfortunately, i couldn't come as i'd had a few sherberts and i'm getting old (36). stilll, nice of her to let me try. non-pro didn't look too bad with her wig on but wasn't a beauty with it off - they take it off when they have sex - so it was time to keep on with the search for the "chosen one". got calls from non-pro a few times the next few days but just palmed her off with texts saying "i'm out with zambians" etc.

day 3 sat: more norman no mates during the day. checked out cairo road bit of town which isn't particularly inspiring. rang up the whacky chick who i had done the runner from. met her at 4pm, gave her some bs that i went home alone as i got scared about the ganga. she took me back to her place which is behind northmeads. she called it the ghetto but it's not the ghetto. ghettos are the places where the poorest peple live and are no go areas for police. if you enter a ghetto without some in the know d00ds then you are gonna get robbed.

going to her place was funny, nice but also a mistake.

funny because, for a laugh, we went to one of those happy clappy style churches like you have in america (praise, the lord). we both prayed and within an hour were back at her place fucking.

nice because i got to see a "township" and we made nice love with her definitely cumming. she gave me a quick suck with a condom on. luckily she stopped before he went slack. boy, are blowjobs with condoms on crap.

quite funny how we shagged. the whole of her house (shack) doesn't have a front door. but the bedroom does. so we could have got disturbed any minute. the house was shared by about 3 other people including a young boy and i got the impression that they conveniently fucked off so we could get it on.

the mistake was that aftet the shag i fell asleep on her bed. whilst i was asleep she nicked my sunglasses (cost £60). i might have just dropped them there but a few days later she admitted she had found them and said i could have them back if i pay for them. so, effectively, she did nick them, the *****. didn't really care as they were so-last-years fashion that never reallly took on but i'm sure she will wear them with pride.

when i woke up, her and her mates were getting ready and they had it in their heads that it was to be a night where the drinks were on me. when i discreetly told my one that the paying for her mates thing was a no-go she rather coldly and abruptly asked for her 80k (we had agreed the price the night before, as stated above).

fortunately didn't have the money on me. dunno what would have happened if i did have it. might have let me find my own way home. so we all went to alpha bar as there are waiters there who will get you change for a £20 note.

just before leaving, one of the girls woke her kid up so he could sleep on the bed as she was going out instead of where he normallly sleeps: the floor.

got 150,000 for the £20 (in a bank would have been 165,000), so not too bad if you are stuck but only use one of the waiters that you get the good vibes from.

paid her her 80,000. gently told her that i didn't like the way she had demanded the money so that was the end of me and her.

she was ok about it, tried flirting with me 10mins later but got the brush off from me and so she gave up.

lesson learn't: don't go back to girl's place until you have got to know her a bit better.

same night, met the girl i had met on the 1st night. agreed on 100,000 (£13) and off we went to my place. had nice sex but no blow job. decided to knock about with this one and so, cos she was with me all day and me spending money on her, we agreed a knock-about rate of 50,000 per day (£6.50).

normally, when knocking about with a chick, i would give them even less as i treat them too a good time and don't really want a chick that is solely being with me for the cash but i was getting sick of being a norman no mates during the days.

did some cool stuff with her like go buy vegetables and a live chicken from the township village. then watched them kill the chicken, pluck it, gut it, get the shit out that's left in its arse etc. i had never seen this done before. i didn't watch for sadistic purposes but for education. chicken was killed by a 7year old boy who cut off the head and tossed it into a corner where other chickens were just hanging out. poor birds get to see the fait that awaits them.

anyway, that was all cool but the rest of the preparation took 5 fucking hours and got a bit boring. had the chicken in her auntie's house at a formal dinner setting with just 3 other people. but that chicken and the veg i bought would have fed about another 3. so for about £4 - 6 people had a decent meal on me which is cool.

next day: more knocking about with same chick. went to rhapsody, a fairly posh restaurant, where she showed herself up by asking for meat and chips instead of picking a fucking meal from the a-la-carte menu. gave her a gentle ribbing about it. all harmless fun.

fucking her was quite nice. we even did a 69. only lasted 3 mins with her getting off as she didn't want me to come in her mouth. generally, zambians arn't big into oral i would say.

as fucking her was good i thought i'd have a nice session and took a 20mg cialis. this was a mistake as it gave me a weird, uncomfortable feeling in my lower back and legs and had to stay in (with no shagging wanted or done). if you are gonna do cialis for the 1st time i would only take half a 20mg and see how you get on.

next day i was off to livingstone. went to the chemist and easily bribed pharmasist 20,000 (£2.50) + 60,000 (£7.50) to buy 40nr 5mg valium. probably paid too much but i couldn't be bothered checking out different pharmacies for the best price.

valium and the 6-7hour coach journey was a breeze. woke up with only 1 hour to go. didn't take enough vallies on the coach ride back and it was boring - so either fly or take lots of vallies.

livingstone is a much better town to knock about than lusaka. there are tonnes of activities to do - all cost western money but woteva. i did my 1st bungi jump - 3rd highest in the world, 1st helicoptor ride, 1st microlight ride (much better than heli) and the george swing / abseiling all-day activity. george swing is amazing. it's 3.5 secs of freefall before you start to swing.

as i did my 1st jump i exclaimed a completely involuntary "oh god" whereas i didn't with the bungi as that is over water.

with the bungi, if you dive corrrectly - which i did - you can survive a dive of 110m into water. so that is why it isn't so scary. i knew that if the elastic snapped i would live but with the george swing, if it snaps then you are dead.

microlight is so cool as well. it was completely exhilarating. landing is way faster than you would think and you can see that if the pilot cocks it up then you would just crash and die. which makes it cool, of course.

the view of the falls and it's meandering george is the most spectacular geological feature i have ever seen. pales into insignificance with some of the african pussy i saw but that's mongering for you :-)

doing activities, partying at night and fucking chicks kinda get in the way of each other. i like to party at night so there were a few nights where i couldn't have sex with the new lady i was with in livingstone as i had to be up early. but it's worth it though. the activity memories will stay with me for a lifetime. the fucking memories will stay with me until i next go on holiday and pick up another african princess.

1st night in livingstone, went to an open air bar - begins with m - just around the corner of eat well ( <- western style pub / bar).

a gay guy gave me a big come on so i let him know i like to discover things for myself and moved to other side of the bar. he was a nice enough bloke but i wasn't up for gay stuff.

the m? place is good but a bit too crowded on sat night - just like alpha bar is. so i'd go elsewhere on a sat night. especially if you are stoned out of your head.

a good alternative on these nights in either town is a club called chez ntemba (sp?). less rowdy crowd. zambians pronounce it differently to how it's spelt but well worth a look. there's one in london apparently and i'm gonna go check it out.

straight after the gay guy encounter a stunning 21y old, size zero, elven faced hot chick hit on me and there and then i decided she was the "chosen one" for me to knock about with.

she would be a complete 10/10 but for a few things. one is sad. to be a 10/10 all she needed was curvier hips (her waist was divine). she couldn't really smile spontaneously / freely. i think this has a lot to do with an attempted [CodeWord123] she was victim off. i didn't ask too much about it but the scar on her forhead looked about 9 months old. the "i've been raped" bs you hear all the time from african chicks but as i got to know her, i did believe her.

give her a few years to get over it - hopefullly - impossible for a bloke to fully empathise, of course, and when she gets her smile back she'd be a 9/10.

as time went on by, i realised she was a bit too shy and didn't do enough conversation making to be my 100% ideal chick but by that time it was time to go anyway.

we shared some poigniant moments where she non-verbally taught me how to be a better lady's man. she did it with pinache and i am massively grateful. i'm not talking about fucking. just the general knocking-about-with-your-chick stuff such as accompanying her to the toilets and waiting for her outside, letting her lean her body against me as i really noticed all the tension just ebb out of me, holding her hand in public at the appropriate moments when it doesn't cause self-consiousness for either party etc.

generally, livingstone is a town where you will be picking up chicks and acting like their sugar daddy. (lusaka is a lot more hard-core pro in comparison). the livingstone girl i was with didn't want to talk about money at all on the 1st night but became a little too "high maintenance" towards the end. bye, darling.

some of it i brought upon myself. i treated her to a top-of-the-range weave 100,000 (£13). the weave looked good but when a bird has soo much natural beauty, hair is just an appendage of minor importance.

sex: in zambia, it is not gonna be as porno-style as in kenya and especially not so as ghana. it will be much more sweet and tender. i prefer porno-style sex myself, err, don't we all. in summary though, the sex was good but not too much oral.

when shagging, there will be a very pungent exotic aroma which, in an animalistic way, is a fucking turn-on. as mentioned earlier, you get their natural body odours as they don't use deodrant but again, with a chick that you like, you get to like her natural body smell.

we are anaimals after all, just fairly sophisticated ones. roar.

of course, these aromas occour when 2 caucasians have sex but not to the extent with africans.

i went down briefly on 2 pussies, just after showers and it was divine. it's just a shame these 69sessions were so short - about 2 or 3 mins each. i think in zambia it would take at least 7 days before you are ciming whereas in ghana it can happen within 5 mins of knowing each other.

bodies: the african ass is there but not so pronounced as it is on west african women. a lot of zambians have caucasian style asses.

beauty: there are plenty of 7's, a few 8's, hardly any 9's, no 10's. girls are about as good looking as kenyans, not as good looking as ethiopians but better than ghanaians.

ganga: easy to get hold of. i would only do it with a girl you trust. she will go get it (5000 cigarette sized spliff). i heard in lusaka they are 2000 so i was probably being overcharged but woteva. when you have it, you go in a taxi, pay him 5,000 or 10,000 and he will slowly drive around whilst you all share it, including the driver. towards the end of the holiday i needed 3 of these (they call them balls) to get fully whacked as i was starting to get used to it. probably had it on 8 nights out of the 14 i had there.

cool stuff: their music. i like to dance when whacked on ganga and would be going for it on the less busy nights. when i stopped to take a swig of beer or catch my breath i got loads of whistles and applause from, like, half the crowd. it wasn't an ego thing. i was just enjoying myself and they were being entertained and showing their appreciation.

food: nice, lovely. eat well in livingstone, rhapsody's in both places do western quality food. will cost 50,000 (£6) - 80,000 (£10) in one of those higher end type places. if you don't eat it all, be nice and get the waiter to bag it for you and go give it to someone who lives on the street. it will be the best meal they have had all month.

also bring any old tee-shirts, shoes that you would normally throw away. someone there will wear it, even shoes with holes in them.

back to food. everywhere there are chicken licken style places. beef burgers should be avoided as they don't cook them well enough. chicken / chips isn't too bad at 15000 (£2).

cabs: expensive by african standards. 5000 (£0.60) short distance day time, 10,000 short distance night time. can go up to 20,000 at night. i do get to know the prices as i have cabs turning me down. eg for my return to the airport i got turned down at 60,000 (£7.50). got one for that afterwards though.

guest houses: expensive, especially in lusaka. stayed in lui guest house in lusaka for 150,000 per night (£19). said they had hot water but it ran out real fast. also took the pricks 3 days to fix my fucking door so it would lock correctly. all it took was a hammer and 3 nails. sometimes africans really can be fuck wits when it comes to getting things done. a door is important: fix it. so, as a result, lui guest house doesn't come recommended.

in livinstone, stayed at likute guest house. get room 7. it is huge. 180,000 (£23). nice staff. very near fairmount hotel, which is where you can pick up chicks. highly recommended.

cool moment: sitting in eat well on my own. 2 western backpacker-type ladies come up to me and invite me to join them. i had a quick chat with them and politely declined explaining that i am meeting someone. 2 seconds later in comes my stunner and the looks on their faces were just "oh, yes, i fully understand how you have declined our very kind offer". i can't think of a succinct way to express it but it was funny.

in livingstone, there are a lot of backpacker-types there. mostly voluntary workers taking a quick tour before getting back to voluntary work for fuck all. god bless them but...

i got the odd funny look from young western birds (think they know it all) when they saw me (5/10 in looks, 36y old, slight pot belly) with a stunning 21y old and will give you that look of "look at him, paying for it". not that i give a fuck what they think but a funny way i dealt with it was to look westerner in the eye, then look at her fat arse, then look down at my birds lovely arse, then look back at westerner and just give her a look of "well, i know who i'd rather be fucking, love". lols. all very easily done when you are bowling around the place whacked out on valium. takes a bit of confidence, self-assuredness otherwise.

crime: deffo don't go to ghettos, there's one fairly near the big market in lusaka called kampwala (sp?). only go to a "township" with a girl you trust. you can walk short distances at night up to about 10pm but it's a bit risky. after 10pm it's cabs only if you know what's good for you.

if you are with a chick you trust then she will "sniff out" a good cabbie otherwise just be a bit street-wise when choosing a cab. check the guy out, feel the vibes. i wouldn't get pissed out of your head in zambia. getting stoned out of your head is ok as that doesn't show so much.

there is an official colouring for cabs. i think it's blue but there are far more unofficial ones.

always have change. common tactic with cabs etc is for them to pretend they don't have it, hoping you'll go "oh, fuck it". always have at least 50,000 in change.

good idea: i brought with me a cash box requiring key and combination lock and blatently put my money in that every night before i went to bed with a girl. i then hid the key. none of them questioned why i was doing it or tried guilt-tripping me with "don't you trust me". if they do, then that's a a good sign she's a bad girl so just short time her and fuck her off.

in all the guesthouses i stayed at i left various valubles with reception and had no problems at all. just write on duplicate paper whats deposited and update both copies as necessary.

in summary: i would deffo check out zambia as a mongering holiday destination but avoid lusaka and hit up livingstone. if you want lots of hardcore porno style sex then kenya and ghana are better. but all the activities i did were simply amazing. just a shame zambia is a little bit expensive when it comes to cabs and guesthouses.

fucking long report, eh. hope you didn't find boring. i had nothing to do in the airport so writing it by hand kept me occupied for about 6 hours and it's taken about 3 hours to type it.

check out zambia guys. don't go back to kenya for the 4th+ time. it's a big wide beautiful world out there.

editor's note: i certainly hope that the author or somebody else will post a link to this report in the reports of distinction thread. please click here for more information.