Jakarta

[Smoothy]

Besides not showering it seems Miss Sex Goddess has not brushed her teeth and was recently eating raw sewage judging by the smell. The stench immediately caused a power failure. Determined not to have the day totally ruined and to make up for the previous session, I wanted to try CG. Last time she was bouncing up and down so much it was impossible to stay inside. This time she was more restrained but spent too long trying, well not really trying, to put me inside. When she leaned back the vision was divine. Unfortunately she then leaned forward and breathed on me. That breath was really softening me.

This is hilarious! I think we have all experienced that at some point.

[Charles Dickin]

Short version.

Same podium girl as last time but lower scores this time for very very bad breath and general lack of hygiene.

Long version.

Anticipating that the Price Police will have already written how I'm over paying at Malioboro I set out with the intentions of trying the cheaper end of the market. I decided a chicken sandwich was in order so headed to Kartika. It took a little finding but it's one street south of Mangga Besar on the east side. It's pretty much at the end of the street on the right hand side. There are some other equally dingy massage places on the right hand side.

No sooner had I stepped out of the bright afternoon light into the dark dismal smoke filled chamber that is reception then I was pounced upon by a large lady wearing a waitress badge. She immediately said this lady very good service and shoved another chubby woman into me knocking me back a step. I wasn't used to having women throw one another at me until I went to Fire Pit in Angeles last week. That was a painful experience.

The second lady said the first lady with waitress badge is mamasan. She multitasks as waitress, weightlifter and bouncer. They started trying to order drinks for me, not lady drinks for them, and quoted me 370 K for a session. I asked about two ladies and was immediately told this was a great idea and it would be 370 K per lady. I asked about paying by card and they said cash only, ATM in Indomart.

So I went back to Indomart but that ATM only dispenses 50 k notes, limit maybe 1 million. I have limited withdrawals per day so need to take as much as possible especially after Malioboro wiped me out of cash the night before. I took my life into my hands crossing Mangga Besar to try ATMs to the north side but they were all 50 k and low limit. So I came back south trying every ATM in turn. Again all 50 k. I did find one dispensing 100 k notes but the limit was still 1 million. After a lot of walking I did find one with 100 k and 2. 5 million limit but it was out of cash. By now I was too pissed off and too hot and tired and very near my hotel so I gave up.

Later I decided to rescue my day and retry Malioboro but go earlier to catch Miss Sex Goddess before she was too plastered to walk. I think she makes a killing on lady drinks. I entered the second floor big room, went straight to the bar, spent 5 minutes trying to get the correct drink as the barkeep seemed to have left his brains in his other clothes, sat down and within 1 minute Miss Sex Goddess was at my table asking for lady drinks. Another definition of good service! As soon as I started to say no she immediately pointed upwards and I said yes and within seconds her manager was at my table with a paper for me to sign.

Like last time he insisted on escorting us to the room. I don't know whether this is to stop other guys groping the dancer en route or just to get a tip. This time I said sorry paying by card and he left smiling.

I forgot to say in my last report that Miss Sex Goddess does collect a condom from the second floor reception but I don't know whether it's an extra charge, see below.

I also forgot to say in my last report that Miss Sex Goddess doesn't shower before or after. At the start of the session she washes her pussy using the high pressure toilet hose and afterwards she washes off any spillages in the wash basin.

Like last time I got the sexy looking but short lived BBBJ before she insisted on a condom. I do find those Sagamis 001's a bit difficult to roll down but not as tricky as the Okamoto 002 hydros. Anyway suitably suited up I went in for missionary. Mistake. Besides not showering it seems Miss Sex Goddess has not brushed her teeth and was recently eating raw sewage judging by the smell. The stench immediately caused a power failure. Determined not to have the day totally ruined and to make up for the previous session, I wanted to try CG. Last time she was bouncing up and down so much it was impossible to stay inside. This time she was more restrained but spent too long trying, well not really trying, to put me inside. When she leaned back the vision was divine. Unfortunately she then leaned forward and breathed on me. That breath was really softening me. So I decided to do her standing doggie in front of the wall mirror. This was the third session room I've been in Malioboro (1 x floor 3, 2 x floor 4) and none of them have strategic pervert mirrors around or over the bed.

Because Miss SG has a great ass as well as perfect boobs I thought that standing doggie in front of the mirror would be visual cocaine and I would be out of range of the bad breath. I forgot that women can stink from between the other lips too and that totally ruined it for me. What a waste of an expensive condom.

She asked what was wrong and I tried to explain politely in sign language that she really needed to brush her teeth. She then spent 5 minutes alone in the bathroom doing something but her breath wasn't any better when she returned.

After a lot of mental effort I managed to spill the milk over those magnificent breasts. I confess to trying to splash a little higher but I was doing well to get that far. She insisted on another 200 k tip so I reluctantly gave her 100 k after a glaring match. When she first noticed it was a mere 100 k she looked like she might cry then she looked like she might stab me with her stiletto so I gave in and handed her the other 100 k though let her know that it was all begrudgingly given. Don't flame me. I figured not being stabbed was worth more than 100 k.

Back in the big room another podium dancer asked me for a lady drink. I said sorry I'm leaving now. She said you just got here. I said here 1 minute then straight upstairs. She asked whether it was a podium dancer or other girl. I said dancer and she shook her said in sorrow saying "Oh no, I'm too late. " Well we all have at least one good looking one that gets away and today I was hers! Sorry miss. She tried to invite herself back to my hotel but I was feeling sick from the smells and had really had enough for one day. So to avoid being pestered for money lady drinks, only mosquitoes surround me more and they don't drain you so dry, I finished my drink in the small room listening to the live band murdering another song I used to like and then left.

As previous reports say, the podium dancers can really hassle you and run up your bill. That doesn't mean you shouldn't partake, just be prepared to physically lift some of them off you when your wallet cries mercy. Guys are taught when women say no they mean no but to these women when guys say no that means try harder to get into his wallet. If you touch the dancers in any way, such as trying to stop them sitting on you, they absolutely expect drinks and tips. But you touched me. No miss, you touched me after I told you no for the fourth time and that was after I turned down the three others in your posse.

On exiting this time I managed to sneak the paperwork out. Sticky fingers.

Product: Massage J.

Therapist: MJ001 20:41-21:44 Rp. 800,000.

Tax 35% Rp. 280,000.

Grand total 1,080,000.

Food & Beverage.

Lounge Rp. 24,000 (one bottle of water that took the barkeep 5 minutes to find in a small fridge. Thank god we're not paying him by the hour or maybe we are and that's why the service charge is so high).

T & S 30% 7,2000.

Grand total 31,200.

Total Transaksi Rp 1,111,200.

The Price Police can stop reading now. For everyone else you should know they then add another 1 million "tip" and then charged me another 30,000 for paying by card, that's on a separate bill. There's no separate item of condoms. I like to think the one the girl collected was free and the room was the 1 million tip and that the dancer was real cheap. We can all dream.

So the final total was 2,141,200 not including 200 k tip for Miss Sex Goddess Sewage Breath.

You'll be fine with earplugs and a nose plug but get there before she's Miss Too Drunk To Walk. The rooms do have toothbrushes but maybe you can take toothpaste and mouthwash and instructions written in Indonesian.

[Charles Dickin]

On my first visit to Malioboro I had a bit of a false start as the mamas ignored me. On my third drink I got fed up with being ignored so up and went to the other room with a live band, left when the singer started murdering I Can't Live if Living is Without You, came back in the big room and this time sat down stairs. I was immediately approached by a friendly mama who told me the prices and pointed out a few girls under her control. Different mamas seem to wrangle different sets of girls and from previous reports it seems that some girls may be managed at different prices by different mamas. It's also possible that some girls choose to stay hidden under their blankets because you're not their type or because they're tired after sessioning with an athlete.

Reports from late last year seem to suggest 800 k as the asking price but 900 k didn't seem unreasonable so I decided to pick someone. After all what's the point of spending all that money on this trip just to bail over a small surcharge?

I thought I might have some trouble picking an Indonesian because they all seemed very attractive, most were shall we say overdressed or should that be under dressed, and some where smiling at me. But in the end I had no trouble picking because one of the smiley ones was dressed more elegantly in a floral dress. Classy is always good. And so I picked my Indonesian Vice Girl.

By vice I mean pussy like a vice. The vice broke 1 x Okamoto 002 and 2 x Sagami 001's. She then said that as my condoms were all lousy we should go on without. And to think I picked her because she looked a nice girl. The bareback offer was a mood killer having broken out of 3 condoms and I was wondering what souvenirs of the session I might have picked up. So much for Japanese precision engineering.

The basic cost 900 K++. I didn't pick up the itemized bill so I don't know how many extras were added for this session. Vice Girl insisted on a 200 k tip. I considered asking her to refund the cost of an STD checkup but there's a lot of staff between the third floor and the main exit. By the way, third floor rooms are really fucking noisy because they're right above the disco.

According to ISO-69 (International Syzygies Order) specification:

Face 7 at least. I didn't think she was as pretty as some of the others until I looked at her more closely.

Body basically 7 slim with small breasts, bit big across the ass for my taste but yet kinda juicy so +1 for some of you. Definitely +2 for being tight.

Enthusiasm average 7, sometimes she was a bit starfish and other times quite sexy, struck a great post with her ass sticking up but was very difficult to get inside her in that position which immediately killed condom #3.

GFE not really GFE but friendly.

Skills 6 nothing special until I had a power failure after the bareback offer, then +2 for a great deep throat BBBJ to restart the engine.

English OK for her job.

Session 2 was with Miss Sex Goddess Indonesia, podium dancer divine.

Face 8 at least, maybe -1 for the oversize blue contact lenses.

Body would be 13 out of 10 but -1 for tattoos, minus another 1 for the Hello Kitty tattoos (seriously not sexy, not even on that body) and -1 for having a man's name tattooed on her forearm. Hey but that's still a 10. Maybe you can +1 because she really knows how to pose.

Enthusiasm average 7 despite being super sexy at dancing she doesn't move that much except when on top when she moves so much it's impossible to stay inside.

GFE not really and she was really pissed out of her skull which didn't help. I just thought she couldn't walk straight in those high heels but turns out she couldn't walk straight at all.

Skills 6 nothing special except the ability to pose very sexily, +1 for that.

English OK for her job.

Damage was supposed to be 1. 8 million but not sure of the total cost. Despite a mixed session she absolutely insisted on a 200 k tip plus a 50 k tip for her manager.

The total bill was over 4. 2 millions for 2 girls and 3 drinks not including 2 x 200 k tips for the session girls, 50 k tip for podium manager and 50 k for the sexy waitress that I keep trying to take upstairs.

Before the Price Police file their reports, I had a memorable evening that was more good than bad. I think it was a bit expensive but I want my lasting memory to be the curves, the sexy posing, the deep throat experience, and a vice like grip not the final bill and a debate whether I paid 1% too much.

And Before the Tip Police file their reports, I wanted to tip the manager because I want to get in his and his girls good books and I wanted to tip the waitress because I want to get her in her knickers. Everyone else from the room cleaners to the door attendant, podium dancers, waiters, mosquitos, roaches, mice and undercover cops asked for a tip but I didn't tip them. Though I did donate some blood to one of the mozzies. If girl 1 gave me anything, then maybe the mozzie got it too. Share and share alike.

There's a 3% charge for paying by card but either their calculator or their cashier isn't good at math. So you pays your money and you takes your chance.

[Charles Dickin]

I've been twice to Malioboro floor 2 and am wondering if anyone has taken the Vietnamese podium dancer upstairs to the hotel? If so is she as good horizontally as vertically? I don't know how many Vietnamese there are but she's the one who can really dance. She shares the stage with a black haired Russian (girl in wrinkly thigh length black boots.

Field reports to follow.

[Lost99]

In response to the real point, I see it broken down into 2 issues: 1. The service you received, and 2. The price you paid. 1. Service is always YMMV with any girl, but I find I get better service when you try the be playful, relaxed, charming, and engaged with the girl, and yes looks and age are a factor. If you can speak the language that helps too. With some girls you can be more assertive and initiate more contact, so that is worth a try also next time. If you have stiff body language and not smiling (not saying you acted that way) the girls don't react well and you may get worse service. Body language is important, especially if you can't speak the language. 2. Are you sure the guy was 'negotiating' after the fact? Or is it more likely the Chinese guy only agreed on paying 6, and they tried running the tab on him to 10 (it happens to many). Usually, you only pay for what you agree verbally in these places, and I don't think it is negotiable below what you've agreed to pay for and received. However, you were there and I wasn't there to see it. If he was able to negotiate the agreed upon price to something lower, and you felt slighted by this, maybe you can try this and let us know if this works. I think if he 'agreed' to pay for 10 shots, and than later said he's only paying for 6, that the girl or management would take that very well.

[Hilo77]

Just to let you know, not all bules act like you did. I stopped the girl from gulping down the first drink and hence there was no confrontation.

As the great Larry David says, Good for you! Good for you.

You scrutinize the girls drinks carefully as she's trying to stick her tits in your face, and in return you get two or three minutes longer than I did. Good for you.

What you aren't getting, and which was rather the point of my post that you appear to have completely missed, is that you're not getting the best part of half an hour's dance, without caring what the girl's running up and then getting a 40 percent discount, which is what the gentleman I was referring to managed to achieve.

Good for you.

[Smoothy]

What I objected to was the dancer's attitude, she stood there, panties down, topless, cajoling him, grabbing his hand and thrusting it to her crotch, hugging him, and when the deal was agreed smiling broadly and giving him a big kiss.

I object to that too. She should have been telling him to go F himself. Maybe he was a regular there, who knows?

However, the Chinese guy was getting sloppy seconds off of you. And if he mouth kissed the same girl, he probably swallowed some of your saliva. So that's basically equivalent to you spitting in his mouth. Would it really be worth the discount to have some other dude spit in your mouth? It does always pay to get these girls first. You got a bargain.

Whenever those dancers come over, there is little chance they will ever drink 10 drinks with me (although at 35 k a drink, I wouldn't worry too much about it). I normally tell them "pelan pelan" and will buy 2 drinks. For 10 drinks, she better give me a BJ in the corner.

[Lost99]

Usually you tip taxi guys, and traffic guys 20 cents or less for hailing a cab, or opening a door etc. Tipping is purely optional, but these people work in a 3rd world country where the government doesn't do enough to support them, and they make around $100-200 a month to survive on. If you are an expat who can't afford to give 20 cents here and there to a taxi guy, I think that is really low pathetic, not Smooth at all. Especially cheap charlies who deliberately walk one block away from buildings and hotels to avoid paying a 20 cent tip. Basically, you are either super cheap, selfish, and have no compassion and generosity in your heart. I feel sorry for such folks.

[IllusionHeart]

Shocking. Who would have thought there were some people doing drugs at that place?

I never went there anyway.

There was always a corner at Millies where these things were available. Similarly I think at Golden crown as well.

[Smoothy]

I am now coming around to my wife's contemptuous opinion of my freeness with tips to everyone from the waiter at dinner to the valet parker. She has always claimed it didn't make a blind bit of difference and all I did was come across as a naive soft touch, I think (as so often when it comes to my better half) she may have a point.

Wow, where can I find one like that? My Indo girlfriend is always bitching that I don't tip enough. She even wants me to tip guys like the bluebird stand taxi guy when we cue at the mall and other such ridiculous things. I notice that nobody else tips those guys.

[LifeIsABeach]

Now I have no problem with what the bloke did, good luck to him, it is part of his culture never paying the first price offered. He showed an admirably business-like demeanor as he got his way doing something which no bule guy would ever have the effrontery to do (and why China will be ruling the world in 50 years time).
That gentlemen sums up how we western guys are viewed. We are cash cows, who can be given a perfunctory service in the knowledge that we will over pay and then tip handsomely before moving on to work the real tough jobs, the local guys and especially Chinese men, who will need a really top-notch performance but who will still pay less money.
Bear that in mind the next time you guiltily hand over a tip even though you weren't particularly happy with the service, think of the Chinese guy in the next room who is working his girl like billy-oh knowing he won't be paying as much as you.

Just to let you know, not all bules act like you did. I stopped the girl from gulping down the first drink and hence there was no confrontation. Been around and know the ropes. Just be aware of the circumstances and be smart while having fun. You did what you did and others necessarily do not do the same.

[Lost99]

Well, it is interesting that he said about a year ago I had no credibility on this board because I carried my passport with me while in Jakarta. He has since admitted the reason he does not do so himself is because he would likely lose his passport owing to the fact he is usually drunk while traveling around the city. It made me wonder the state of his intoxication when he does post some of his negative posts here.

In any event, I also wonder how many of those who were caught up in the Blok M raid without their passport were in that position because they were following his advice posted here about not carrying such documentation while in Jakarta, advice that would have cost them either 25 million rupiah, or a night in a virtual jail.

This guy is not very smooth and I just ignore his useless advice completely, and caution others from doing so likewise. I actually kinda feel sad for him, as he spends most of this time posting in other international tourist sex forums instead of building a real life in Jakarta and connecting with local people. He doesn't have a KITAs or working permit to live in Indo, so he needs to do constant Visa runs in neighboring countries such as Singapore, Thailand etc. I'm always weary of trusting people like this because they are basically transients who are unwanted by the countries they live in. If he could actually attract real woman and build a real life, he wouldn't be running away from the States to live in exile in Indo, and trying to find validation from random strangers over the internet.

[Hilo77]

Following the interesting post about the excessive tip seeking of staff at places like Classic I had a couple of experiences in the past few days that have really made me change my attitude to tipping and service standards.

Previously I would have been free with the tips, I worked in my youth in the service industry and I know what a difference tips can make, not just to a server's income but also to his or her standards of service. There was a link and given that a) we are not talking about huge sums in relative terms and b) I don't want to come across as a cheap charlie in an environment where men are after all judged on their ability to provide cash to attractive young women I was open with my wallet.

However that has changed and I am now coming around to my wife's contemptuous opinion of my freeness with tips to everyone from the waiter at dinner to the valet parker. She has always claimed it didn't make a blind bit of difference and all I did was come across as a naive soft touch, I think (as so often when it comes to my better half) she may have a point.

Let me explain. I was in Classic the other night. The dancers were working the floor and one quite fit tall girl came to my table. She was enthusiastic, allowed my hands to roam freely and also groped me in the appropriate places. In no time flat she had run up 10 shots (Rp 35 k ea) and I called it quits. As is customary in Classic when you hit 10 drinks a floor manager comes over to confirm you ran up the bill and have no objection, I hadn't and signed accordingly. The dancer gave me a slobbering kiss and then opened her panties for a tip, which I provided. All told maybe a couple of minutes, I didn't mind the bill I had run up, I'm a big boy I know the form. I didn't think I had bought the right to her undying affection, she worked the session well and each of us were satisfied with the results of the transaction.

But shortly thereafter I witnessed something that soured me very rapidly. At the table next to mine were seated two ethnic Chinese gentlemen. She worked one of them hard, giving him the same treatment I got, with one exception, she spent at least 15 minutes with him, and was much, much more forceful, mounting him, pulling her panties down to knee length, and as I watched I noted that he too had run up 10 drinks. The slight resentment that I felt at the difference in time and service erupted into outrage when I saw what happened next.

He called it quits and the floor manager came over to confirm the bill and this is when my eyes went out in stalks. He casually counted out the empty glasses, kept four at his place and pushed six over to the manager. He was negotiating the bill, willing to pay for four but not all 10. Now at this point where I come from two large bullet-headed bouncers arrive at the table and end negotiations promptly, but not here. The dancer and the manager got into mock-angry haggling with the bloke as you might see at a vegetable market. The bill went back and forth, the glasses were slid around the table for a good 20 minutes before they settled on six glasses (as one suspects they all knew they would).

Now I have no problem with what the bloke did, good luck to him, it is part of his culture never paying the first price offered. He showed an admirably business-like demeanor as he got his way doing something which no bule guy would ever have the effrontery to do (and why China will be ruling the world in 50 years time). What I objected to was the dancer's attitude, she stood there, panties down, topless, cajoling him, grabbing his hand and thrusting it to her crotch, hugging him, and when the deal was agreed smiling broadly and giving him a big kiss. He in other words had got the equivalent of 20 times the dance I had got for 60% of the price.

That gentlemen sums up how we western guys are viewed. We are cash cows, who can be given a perfunctory service in the knowledge that we will over pay and then tip handsomely before moving on to work the real tough jobs, the local guys and especially Chinese men, who will need a really top-notch performance but who will still pay less money.

Bear that in mind the next time you guiltily hand over a tip even though you weren't particularly happy with the service, think of the Chinese guy in the next room who is working his girl like billy-oh knowing he won't be paying as much as you.

I've written enough, I'll mention the other experience later.

[Koperen Klaas]

Shocking. Who would have thought there were some people doing drugs at that place?

I never went there anyway.

Correction to my previous post:

ADj. Comm. Sunarto was arrested for using drugs on October 8. The closing date of Mille's is yet to be decided.

Sounds to me like the negotiations have started.

Regards,

Ko

[Smoothy]

The Jakarta Post reported today that Mille's has been closed by authorities after another case of drug use was discovered. This time a policeman was the culprit.

Surprise, surprise.

Regards,

Ko.

Shocking. Who would have thought there were some people doing drugs at that place?

I never went there anyway.