Thread: First Trip to Philippines
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11-02-13 05:32 #42
Posts: 6Originally Posted by Muzza2 [View Original Post]
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11-24-12 03:02 #41
Posts: 834Acolonizer, you have over 1, 000 posts and you are asking that question?
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11-23-12 20:37 #40
Posts: 6782Originally Posted by AColonizer [View Original Post]
http://www.internationalsexguide.inf...=1#post1352396
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11-23-12 13:19 #39
Posts: 1178Hello.
1. I need an effective travel medical kit to identify sexual-transmitted diseases in girls in Philippines: which ones can you suggest me?
2. I want to carry the main medicines against sexual-transmitted diseases for my own use: which ones can you advise me?
Thanks for help.
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09-02-12 07:34 #38
Posts: 6Looking for a reliable driver in Makati
I'll be staying in Makati for 2 weeks on my first trip to the Philippines and would appreciate your advice regarding a reliable driver that can take me around and show me the night life scene.
Thanks
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07-29-12 18:36 #37
Posts: 1089Originally Posted by Red Kilt [View Original Post]
Some westerners seem to treat this issue as a matter of principle, where they won't help out her family even when they can easily afford it. Which looks really mean from the point of view of her relatives. This certainly isn't a good way to make yourself look good in front of people she cares about a lot. This kind of thing is bound to affect her feelings towards you in a negative way, even if she won't argue with you.
I suppose, if you are very careful about choosing the lady, and she isn't that attractive to begin with, then you can get away with all kinds of negative things in your marriage and still keep your marriage going relatively well. But if you go for the most attractive lady you can find, someone who might have options other than you, then you need to do everything you can to make her happy with you, so that your marriage with her will go well. And it's with a very attractive lady like this that you need to be on the good side of her relatives, so that they will support your marriage with her and persuade her to stay with you, even if you end up with marriage problems that could lead to divorce.
It all depends if you want just an average marriage with an average woman, or if you want the best woman you can get. If you want the best woman you can get and keep her too, then you need to go out of your way to make your relationship work well with her. And this is where my "advice" might come in handy.
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07-29-12 15:07 #36
Posts: 3081Thanks, M. Good to know. I am single, never married but looking for a Filipina wife in the future. Seems like we have a lot in common although I could drop about 20 pounds. Does she let you monger if you are discreet? Curious.
[QUOTE=Muzza2; 1247498]According to Filipino government sources, the divorce rate between American men and Filipino women is around 20 percent. Anyone who is married to a Pinay can tell you why that is so. If I had a son of marrying age, I'd strongly advise him to marry a Filipina.
I am not some over-the-hill, bald, fat, and financially-challenged guy who can't find or attract a decent American woman. I'm in my 50s, well-educated with a professional degree, I have all my hair, I'm in decent shape, and earn over six figures. If I had known back then what I know now, I would have sought a Filipina the first time around. Filipino women are essentially raised to be devoted wives.
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07-29-12 14:19 #35
Posts: 3230Originally Posted by Dan7373 [View Original Post]
Knowing GE as I do, I know that he most certainly does NOT "divorce his marriage from the woman's culture, her community, and her extended family".
I don't disagree with most of the things that you say but as one of those described in GE's second sentence, I am sure you understand that both he and I, with long-standing and successful relationships (him for 8 years; me for 13) have some established norms within our relationships.
I believe that it is very necessary to establish that not everything that a family requires from us as the "foreigner" will be provided. Filipinos love the "thin edge of the wedge" approach to things. In fact, most SE Asian societies are a bit like this, as I have discovered in my professional business life working in Thailand, Vietnam, Laos and Philippines. They take a little bit at the start and push you ever so slightly backwards and then steadily increase demands softly softly until suddenly you discover that you have lost a lot of ground through incremental creep. Filipinas do this in personal relationships too, but they also respect you when you are firm and decisive about what is acceptable and what is not. My relationship with my "family" is one of mutual respect and has grown closer over time.
Thanks for your "advice". Maybe some newbies contemplating a life here need to consider it but with some variations to your set of rules.
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07-29-12 12:39 #34
Posts: 1089Wife Territory
Originally Posted by GoodEnough [View Original Post]
From the way you describe how to choose a woman for yourself, it sounds as if the woman's looks, sexiness, and attractiveness are not even on the agenda. It's all about whom she knows, who her friends are, and what her situation in her community is. Which sounds a little strange to me. Because sexual attraction is the basic motivation why men want to have a relationship with a woman in the first place. You sound so scared of getting scammed and cheated by a woman that you've forgotten to look for the attractiveness and the sex with the woman. It's all about how to avoid getting cheated by the woman, rather than how attractive she is and how good she is in bed with you.
It's important to avoid getting cheated by a woman of course. But this shouldn't be your main consideration. The main thing is to find a woman you really like, and then you consider the other things to make sure that your relationship with her will be a happy one for both. Otherwise your marriage sounds like an arranged marriage from India or some other place like that. It's not about your personal relationship with her. It's all about her social situation in life and how well she fits into your place within society.
Your advice on how to avoid supporting and helping the woman's relatives sounds logical and effective. But I think it's a mistake to avoid helping her relatives. Because the cost usually isn't that much. The cost of living in the Philippines is very low by Western standards. And your benefit of helping her relatives is much greater than your cost. When you are helping her relatives financially, then you become a part of her extended family according to the Filipino culture. And then your marriage is not just with her, it's with her whole family. Her whole family supports your marriage with her and encourages her to be good with you in her relationship with you.
I think you are taking a big risk, when you try to divorce your marriage from the woman's culture, her community, and her extended family. Because without such support, you make your marriage exactly like western marriage, which is very insecure, often unhappy, and prone to divorce.
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04-09-12 20:42 #33
Posts: 200Well said
Muzza: applause! Very balanced view and totally true.
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02-15-12 20:51 #32
Posts: 1233Originally Posted by Muzza2 [View Original Post]
On the topic of sharing I think some people are just to cheap for their own good. It is all an equation of happiness, so why not share a little and feel good about this. I share my money all the time and magically there are new bills in my pocket every day. A balanced amount generosity makes me happier, and as a result I produce more and earn more. Karma.
B.
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02-13-12 08:03 #31
Posts: 1Wife Territory
Originally Posted by GoodEnough [View Original Post]
You need to use common sense when seeking a wife of any nationality. Many have already offered good advice for avoiding the scammers. Personally I would never even consider trying to "convert" a former working girl into a wife. The prospect for success in doing this is somewhat greater in the Philippines than in Thailand, I suspect, but for any girl who has felt the need to-for whatever reason-sell herself, there is a certain quality of inner desperation and defensive callousness that never goes away and does not transport or translate well into housewifery and motherhood*
As others have written, the best way to find a Filipino wife is by spending time in the Philippines and I would definitely recommend getting involved with a local church for this purpose. I was very lucky in that I found my wife through a Filipina Internet dating website (this was six years ago though and I understand a lot has changed since then). You have to be very careful and you have to possess enough sense not to send any money to a woman you have never met in person. You need to immediately eliminate any woman who asks you for money prior to having met you. I was fortunate in that the woman I met online, who would later become my wife, was also working in the same overseas city as I was at the time, so we were able to meet in person after establishing mutual interest (and this is the only legitimate and safe way for using an Internet dating service). Not coincidentally, my wife is a devout Christian.
My wife and I have been married for five years. This is my third marriage and despite the age difference of 25 years, this is by far the healthiest and happiest marriage that I have ever known. According to Filipino government sources, the divorce rate between American men and Filipino women is around 20 percent. Anyone who is married to a Pinay can tell you why that is so. If I had a son of marrying age, I'd strongly advise him to marry a Filipina.
I am not some over-the-hill, bald, fat, and financially-challenged guy who can't find or attract a decent American woman. I'm in my 50s, well-educated with a professional degree, I have all my hair, I'm in decent shape, and earn over six figures. If I had known back then what I know now, I would have sought a Filipina the first time around. Filipino women are essentially raised to be devoted wives. Pardon the cliche but it is true: My wife's floors are so clean, you can literally eat off of them. This might not be important to many but for a guy who was previously married to two American women who never picked up a mop or dust rag the entire time we were married, it's a pleasure to be in such a marriage now. It is also a relief to be in a relationship with a woman in which not everything has to be a damn negotiation. I don't have the patience for that anymore.
If I can send a few dollars to my wife's grandmother, or sponsor another family member to give him or her a shot at a better life, it is the very least I can do to express my appreciation and gratitude for having been blessed this time around with a truly devoted, loving, caring, and beautiful wife. My best advice is that if you are going to feel resentment over sending some support money back home to the wife's family, you should immediately abandon the idea of marrying any girl of Asian descent.
__________________.
*I suspect that "Cherry Girls," I. E, girls who hang out in bars or clubs in order to have access to Western men and who do not engage in sexual intercourse, might be an exception to this rule as they are not fully participating in prostitution.
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01-14-12 06:13 #30
Posts: 182Originally Posted by Stroker Ace88 [View Original Post]
1. Left click the report number (upper right conner of every post)
2. Left click your browser address line and the report link address will appear. (you must do step one before step two or you will not get the report address)
3. Highlight the address (if not already) then right click and copy the link from the Browser address line.
4. Go to ROD and click add report.
5. Type any remarks you may have in the new report.
6. Paste link in the new report and then press enter/return.
7. Preview and/or upload the report.
No need to quote the original report and you do not need to type in '[.... URL] [.... URL]' When you paste a link address, the forum software will add them for you when you click preview or upload the report.
Give it a try.
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01-14-12 04:36 #29
Posts: 416Originally Posted by Red Kilt [View Original Post]
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01-14-12 04:22 #28
Posts: 3230Originally Posted by Newbster [View Original Post]
Please treat the first trip as a pipe-opener (pardon the pun) and get contact details of a number of girls that YOU ACTUALLY MEET and that really "floated your boat".
Go back home. Stay in touch with them all and see what evolves.
As each one starts asking for some cash consideration for assistance with various things eliminate them from your list.
After 6 months you will have a good core of worthwhile follow-ups (called "keepers" in the monger lexicon).
Return again and start making hard plans with your short-list.
Whatever you do, DON"T try to find a wife in 10 days. Just find a list of possibilities.