Thread: Nairobi
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01-25-13 09:26 #1751
Posts: 36Massage Parlours Nairobi
Hi all.
Anybody with an updated list or info about good massage parlours in Nairobi?
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01-25-13 08:55 #1750
Posts: 36Booty lover
Hi Miranda.
I am also a booty lover. And found those woman you talk about in both Kenya and Tanzania in similiar frequency.
I found an interesting read on wikipedia about this phenomenon:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steatopygia
I also interested in more knowledge about this.
Originally Posted by Miranda256 [View Original Post]
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01-25-13 02:30 #1749
Posts: 88Kudos to Arthur
Hey Arthur man,
Great reports. I felt like I was there with you during your hunting. You should be a travel writer.
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01-25-13 01:43 #1748
Posts: 458Originally Posted by Miranda256 [View Original Post]
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01-25-13 00:39 #1747
Posts: 24Kenyan Booty & how it compares to elsewhere
I am an unusual Mzungu in Kenya. Talk to any of the evening ladies in town what type of girl the average Mzungu usually goes for and it's the same answer-slim, tall, leggy, pretty dark & looking like a catwalk supermodel. However, I like big butts & I cannot lie. And my goodness are they in plentiful supply here! This being Africa 'an all. Nairobi is a haven for serious booty. Nearly every woman, no matter what her body shape / size is, has a fine backside & I've never seen a race of women make a pair of jeans look so damn hot! But some of the butts are just insane, and by no means all on large or even fat women.
Just last week I was sat in an outdoor cafe adjoined to a shopping mall & I swear to the holy one with my coffee I nearly re-enacted that scene from Coming To America where Arsenio Hall & Eddie Murphy are in a nightclub being approached by various scary women. Walking past were a couple of young women, I'd say probably 18-19, and one of them was quite attractive but had a butt you could happily rest my coffee on & even if it spilled I don't think one drop would've hit the floor or it would've taken ages to trave over that humongous butt. How she could even walk was beyond me. She didn't exactly show it off (she wore loose fitting black leggings) but she didn't need to, any serious Buttman within sight of that would've either made a dash for her, or a dash for the nearest loos to knock one out! It was incredible, her hips were just insane & she had so much extra butt past the end of her back that I was beginning to think she was a freak of nature. Until about 20 minutes later when another equally astounding butt & hips walked past. This time I stood up to get a better view (I was with someone who would've thoroughly disapproved of what I was staring at so I had to disguise it, I don't think I managed). This fine arse lady was also young but old enough & was showing it off a little more but neither of them were fat by any stretch & both of them were really quite pretty too. This one had hardly any waist which just made her butt & hips seem even bigger.
They are not unique specimens here. They were just some of the more outrageous ones anyone will ever see, period. But it is a phenomenon here. I have travelled to other parts of Kenya (including Mombasa & the coast) & not seen butts like there are in abundance in Nairobi. Perhaps because it is where the people from just about every one of the 40+ tribes in the country come to hunt for the promise of work & a better life that makes it such a big butt heaven. For example, travel to the Maasai Mara & you won't see much in the way of booty as the Maasai people tend to be tall & thin as opposed to wide. It wasn't as prevalent around Mombasa either, I don't know, maybe a more Fish-based diet isn't good for booty.
Can any Kenyans or any Expats (or long time mongers) who love bootilicious women tell me if this has been their experience? Especially if they've travelled around the country? And what about Africa as a whole. How does Kenya compare to, say, Nigeria or Ghana or South Africa? Where is the best place you've ever been to for big booty?
Also I'd love to go to the Dominican Republic as a lot of exposure to their women has shown the place to be a haven of big butts too but trying to find a suitable excuse to get there is nigh on impossible so I have to go on dreaming. Brazil looks incredible for that too but I'm seriously put off by Brazilian (and many South American) women's fascination with plastic tits. It just kills it for me.
That's another thing, any hopeful plastic tit surgeon here is going to be out of business here in weeks, Kenyan women hardly ever lack in that department. I've seen very, very few flat-chested women. Every woman has something she (and mankind) can be proud of and plenty have a great deal more than that too. Some of the biggest jugs I've ever seen are in Nairobi, also in abundance. I have held some incredible pairs here on women young & older.
How do Kenyan jugs compare to other countries famed for them (ie. Probably other African countries I'm guessing)?
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01-25-13 00:17 #1746
Posts: 36Thanks Arthur
Originally Posted by Arthur66 [View Original Post]
I had many similiar experiences.
I am one of those where 2K is also the limit and sometimes less. However I wonder the choice of hotel you staying. I rather stay in a hotel for half that price and use those saved extra money to fuck 2 extra girls per day. Hehehe.
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01-24-13 22:42 #1745
Posts: 24Originally Posted by arthur66 [View Original Post]
regarding the police, they are only interested in one thing & it's not upholding the laws of kenya so any entanglement with them at night in nairobi town centre (avoid at all costs if you possibly can) will be an expensive nightmare (as i was warned when i arrived) but will hardly ever end with a mzungu going to jail. and don't ever forget that the coppers know virtually all the women (they hassle them for money to be left in peace as much as they hassle anyone else, knowing full well such women naturally enough have cash readies on them). that woman you spoke to is right about the young girls desperate to bag one big pay-off (ie. mzungu, un worker, ngo etc) because there are no matatus at night in nairobi (matatu drivers are by their job's nature nuts & many are off their heads on miraa / qat most of the working time but even they're not mad enough to work in nairobi at night) , so the girls have to get a cab home and they're upwards of 1500 bob for a cab driver prepared to take the girls back to dangerous places (like virtually anywhere east of the city centre where most of the girls live). walking is not an option and that's not about the distance, it's just too damn dangerous even for a streetwise pro in most parts of nairobi at night.
a few different girls told me about the routine, utterly senseless killings & disappearances of working girls who venture out of the well-lit city centre because gangs / thieves know they carry cash & a phone so are easy pickings. so it has to be an expensive cab home or else they'll wait around til dawn so they can catch an early matatu. some will also slip an askari (night watchman) they know & trust a few bob to allow them to put their head down for a bit at night or until dawn in the place the askari is guarding. you soon learn that just about the only people in nairobi at night you can trust (to an extent) are askari's, they're hard-working genuine people who will more often than not help you out if you're in trouble (as i found on more than one occasion). as for the police, staff in joints lie simmers, the vast majority of girls & city council (who drive around in beat-up white vans that the girls are terrified of because they will lock up the girls out & about until they've paid their way out) let alone anyone else out on the streets of nairobi centre at night, forget it, they're all there because they're (very experienced) opportunists. and a mzungu is a big payday for them. never trust any of them.
you are right to be cautious. many fellow expats who have been in nairobi for years never venture into the centre of town even if they go just about anywhere else (except eastern nairobi, aka eastlands that is). day or night. for many expats the centre just means hassle & trouble.
drugs isn't a big issue in nairobi (they're just too expensive for the average kenyan) but drink really is, as you have seen (some also take miraa / qat which turns them into the nearest kenyan equivalent of a crackwh*) & you're right to steer well clear of them inebriated as their opportunist instincts are heavily sharpened in that state, ie. stealing, causing a scene hoping more money will resolve the non-existent issue etc. & any attempt at quality service disappears down the drain quicker than a rat on fire.
by the way, in a cab you are virtually immune from police hassle (i've never seen one being stopped) so even if you were thinking of going off with that (potentially ****d) hottie in simmers a cab ride would make you invisible to the law (and that possible madam would almost certainly just want her cut & no hassle from the police in any case).
some of the girls are uni grads / students, but not many for sure (if they were they wouldn't be in simmers for starters, they'd probably be in one of the 5 star hotel bars like the stanley or the laico regency or one of the casinos nearby where they know they can make a potential killing compared to simmers).
any potential dealings with the police will be damn hard work and quite terrifying (they are all armed in the centre at night) , look out for men in long dark overcoats & caps they're carrying fully automatic weaponry under that jacket or the guys in khaki who wear their weaponry in full view, they're not army they're general service unit (gsu) an arm of the police. also increasingly they are in undercover cars in town (lookout for a few guys in, usually, a big vehicle, ie. a safari truck or a 4x4). the girls actually welcome them despite their wretched corruption because the girls say there's been far less crime since they've beefed up their presence in town, which gives you an indication of how bad it once was!
they know full well most mzungus in town at night are there for one thing, so they don't go easy on one if they've come across one who's transgressed. and they will be very heavy, threatening this & that for a good while. once they know they've softened / sh*t you up, they start to suggest a possible resolution / way out of this trouble. and it's expensive! but ultimately they cannot be arsed with all the paperwork & the hassle of putting a mzungu in the cell for the night so they expect a resolution in greenbacks to be forthcoming at some stage. what happens if a mzungu holds out much past that i wouldn't like to say, maybe someone on here can say if that's what they've done 'because they won't pay up.
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01-24-13 21:03 #1744
Posts: 24Originally Posted by SceticoBlu [View Original Post]
I have certainly seen plenty of girls in Nairobi that wouldn't give a mzungu the time of day, perhaps because they don't need to (if they've got plentiful shopping bags & are dressed in a high fashion way they certainly don't need the money in any case) although I have still seen plenty of that ilk who will flirt & give the eye. I've never pursued in that direction with such women but I know it wouldn't be very difficult, I've been here long enough now to know.
Uni hunting grounds are plentiful here. Nairobi has quite a lot of Uni's including the huge Kenyatta Uni which has it's very large main campus east of town towards Thika & numerous smaller campuses dotted around the city. There are many tales here of Uni girls looking to help pay their way with a bit of 'help'. There's a few haunts in the River Road area of town that are frequented mainly by such girls but if you don't fancy being in that part of town (it's really not a safe place to be for a foreigner at night, not so bad in the day) there are numerous bars (ie. Ones close to the Kenyatta Main Campus) which are filled with such girls. There's also Daystar Uni (numerous campuses) , the East Africa Catholic Uni (which is also huge) , USIU (5000-odd students) , Nairobi Uni & more besides. There are many, many students in Nairobi all over the place in a way you'd never see in Mombasa (it does have a Uni but isn't a regional seat of learning the way Nairobi is). Who can tell how many female students are looking for 'help' with fees, living costs etc in Nairobi? Even if it's only half the females who would be willing, that's still thousands of female students! Again, this is not an avenue I've really pursued myself (I've found other avenues that work just fine!) but I have talked to women here who are Uni grads / current students themselves & had numerous chats about how they can find me pretty much any type of woman I want from amongst their friends / contacts in the student population, it's that open in some cases & shows just how many are in the same predicament that they look-out for each other in this way.
At one time I lived very near a student digs in a nice area (these would be the better-off students for starters) and on my drive to & from work I would see the female students walking along the roads who, many times, looked hot (I rarely saw the same ones twice) and more often than not would give some serious eyeball! I didn't pursue as that old adage of sh*tting on your doorstep was very much in mind but my God was I tempted on numerous occasions. And it would've been as easy as stopping the car, having a wind-down window chat & asking for a phone number before long in the conversation, an outright approach for action might not have been so successful but I'm confident some would've gone for it nonetheless, it really isn't like the West here.
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01-24-13 20:52 #1743
Posts: 235Arthur's reporting
Absolutely bang on the money Mr Arthur, and thanks for sharing your experiences!
I'd visited Nai in May 2012 for a couple of nights, stayed at the Intercon and hung out at Simmers for the fun. It's a great place to pull for ebony pussy action, afternoons was the best for non-pros.
Good luck my brother, hope to hear from you again soon.
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01-24-13 20:11 #1742
Posts: 24Also sampled (and Mzungu rates)
Originally Posted by Black Bootylover [View Original Post]
A clear case of 'Mzungu rates' being implemented as the opportunity arose. You have to beware of this all the time in Kenya, accepted Mzungus will pay more in any case (it's just the way here & not entirely unfairly) but some / many will often try it on to see if you know what you 'ought' to pay (ie. Whether you're an expat or an unknowing tourist). Even if you are a tourist, a few choice words in Swahili will quickly put them on the defensive from attempting 'tourist Mzungu rates' as they rarely expect to hear even basic Swahili from a Mzungu.
The place itself is very discreet being a large house in it's own grounds in a part of town (Hurl) full of the same such. Choice of girls (10 on this occasion) was good if not spectacular (the odd 8 perhaps) although many had that 'Massage Parlor' look about them (hardly interested in the slightest) & chemistry was only possible with one or two. The service fell to a cute petite Ugandan in very tight denim shorts that showed off a mighty fine derriere & she had a large mane of hair that made her quite the package in appearance. Opted for only CBJ (which was very good actually and she really took her time) , but in truth I've had much more passionate encounters with ladies elsewhere in Nairobi than at Massage parlors so I've not bothered to go back.
However, if you work out what 2k is in your local currency and considering she was in the room for over an hour, that's pretty top notch value in any country, considering Massage Parlors in high-class ends of town like this one.
I would recommend for sure and may one day venture back myself as it may be a totally different experience the next time, it's always so hard to tell with Parlors like this.
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01-24-13 11:37 #1741
Posts: 47Swimming pools
Can anyone recommend hotels in Nairobi with nice and clean swimming polls which are open to day visitors?
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01-21-13 07:19 #1740
Posts: 134Originally Posted by Tradewinds [View Original Post]
I guess Jeddah will represent a kind of sex vacation, as in no sex whatsoever and some more spiritual life, LOL.
Thank you all folks. Arthur out
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01-21-13 07:12 #1739
Posts: 134Thank you for the advice.
Originally Posted by Coalburner69 [View Original Post]
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01-21-13 07:11 #1738
Posts: 134Google maps toghether with Tripadvisor will provide you with all the info you need.
Cheers
Originally Posted by Chuppi [View Original Post]
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01-20-13 21:10 #1737
Posts: 215Originally Posted by Arthur66 [View Original Post]