FKK Artemis - Berlin

[Dapoopa]

Made my first visit to Artemis just a few hours ago and wanted to write up my experience for the board while things are still fresh in my mind. Thanks to everyone who has posted about your experiences. The information was a great help getting me prepared. Although I had visited the windows of Amsterdam several times (at least the way things were back in 2003-08) , I had never visited an FKK before and of course was really anxious about what to expect. Ever since I knew I was coming to Berlin and found ISG, I must have read the majority of the trip reports and it was eerie how much I knew about the club down to the fine details before I arrived.

I am staying at the Aspria Hotel / Spa / Sporting club, which is only about a 15-20 min walk from Artemis. This is a really nice place and has a super location. Most definitely recommended. I flew in around 3 PM and was pretty tired, not only physically but also in a semi-state of exhaustion from the weeks of anticipation. I lied down on the hotel bed and thought to myself that I should probably catch a nap before heading to the club, but then unexpectedly learned that I would have to meet up with some friends in the evening. There goes my plan to stay 4-6 hours, but at least I could manage 2-3. So I got myself up and out the door with a sense of determination to get over to the club ASAP and get busy.

It was a bit surreal walking the same route along Bornstedter strasse that Angus had put up on his blog. It was an absolutely beautiful day outside and in a short time there I was, walking toward the club entrance and saying to myself "This shit is getting real.". I quickly checked in, grabbed my robe, took some sandals and changed at my locker. Kept on thinking to myself that wow, I'm actually finally here. The advice from the sage men on this board was heeded. I took a walk around the place first to check things out. First stop was the downstairs wellness area. And the first thing I noticed was how chill and low-key everyone was. Felt comfortable right away, as if I was simply at a health club. With one big difference. There were plenty of babes walking around in bikinis. They call it lingerie day on Wednesdays, but it struck me more like a beach scene. Not complaining, mind you! First stop was the 90 degree sauna to sweat out some of my nerves and exhaustion. Felt better right away. Took a quick shower right outside the sauna, stuck my toes in the splash pool and then headed out to the outdoor area through the dining room. The sunlight outside was brilliant and actually made things hard to see, but I did notice several ladies sunning topless and a few guys chilling. The outside area is really sweet! Going to have to check it out again and maybe even use one of the rooms.

Anyway, I felt it was time to look for some action so I went back into the lounge area for a drink. Previously I had quickly walked through, not trying to make eye contact and obviously looking like a newbie (hard to hide that on your first visit!). I was quickly called over by some brunette at the bar, who tried to offer me a twosome. Alarm bells went off and I declined, plus I didn't like the tone of her approach. Then a tall blond approached me, but she also was too aggressive with the suggestion to head upstairs right away. She was Morena from Romania, and I seem to remember a warning about her and Romanians in general. So I declined hastily and moved to the other side of the bar for a mineral water. Almost immediately a really cute brunette with a great smile came up and started chatting. I could tell right away I liked her attitude, and fell into a conversation with her. She was Amelia from Dortmund, mid-20s, with decent but not great English. Said she was only in town for five days, and totally struck me as a girl-next-door type. Although I had studied German for many years, this was also many years ago and my speaking ability had turned to utter crap. But most of an interaction is non-verbal anyway, so hey, no big deal.

It was clear in just a couple of minutes that I wanted to take this girl upstairs, and so up we went. By now I was really amped up but still suffering from some nervous exhaustion, so I told her I needed to take things slow and easy. Told her right away that I wanted an hour, as by now I was sure this was going to go well. Particularly when she started things off right away with DFK in a very GFE like manner. This girl is just a sweetheart with a beautiful smile. Just a fantastic feeling emanating from her. I realized with some surprise and concern that the little guy downstairs wasn't responding and needed some more direct encouragement. Which is exactly what Amelia provided. A slow, sensual BBBJ with wonderful eye contact. I felt my nerves melting away, and then disappear entrely when I flipped her around for some DATY. This, my friends, what was I came to Artemis for. Just a fabulous several minutes. No words can describe it. We had spent so much time chatting, that time was running out and actually the way things were going to end was with BBBJ. When she asked in German if I wanted CIM, I said yes (had wanted it beforehand anyway) and within several more minutes my five days of abstinence had cum (pun intended) to an end. First CIM for me and I was blown away by the experience. In her own words,"sehr gut."

She was such a sweetheart and asked if I wanted to stay with her another half hour, but I had to decline. Luckily, she will be working days through Sunday when I leave, so told her I would find her again for sure. Total bill was EUR 170, but worth it all for sure. I left the club to walk back to Aspria when I hit me. My first session at Artemis. And my first at an FKK. Had been a GFE. I think I floated all the way back to my room. Will be back for more tomorrow.

[DasBooty]

Is is still busy this time of year or is it considered low season by you well seasoned wayfarers?

[Kimino]

Italian maybe similar though I think as there are many words for "fucking" this or that, or fuck off or fuck you, I think they are actually different.

As a cunning linguist, Kimino might weigh in here. Then we must return to the point of the Artemis thread.

Ahahah. Yep, many variations.

And to complicate things a bit more, any word can mean one thing or the exact opposite depending on gestures, facial expression, the weather, the latitude of birth of the performer.

More info in thy masterpiece:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGteKQPWKlA

Kimino

[Hessen Bub]

WTF translates to "Was zum Teufel" oder "Was zur Hölle" -> What the hell.

Your're probably right about derogatory adjectives in German. Although "Verfickte Scheisse" comes close.

HB

[Rocketboy0]

What's that? Mistranslation of WTF? HB

Hi HB-yes, kind of-I meant it to be stupid showing how difficult it is to translate some things.

If you know a better way to sagt es auf Deutsch, bitte. I don't think there is a direct equivalent, and even in English, it barely makes sense. Don't know what would be the turbocharged version of "Wie, bitte?" or "Was ein Scheiss", which kind of approach the meaning of WTF, though far more politely.

Way off topic here. Just in passing, I find it pretty interesting that no other language uses a word that means arguably one of the finest things in life to indicate intense dislike or the absolute worst of something. To my knowledge only English does this. The most powerful derogatory adjectives in the few languages I know (German, French, Dutch, Swedish) all use completely different words related to animals, assholes and shit, devils and damnation. No doubt there is some weird ancient connection to how the English (as in UK) have their somewhat odd connections with sex. Italian maybe similar though I think as there are many words for "fucking" this or that, or fuck off or fuck you, I think they are actually different.

As a cunning linguist, Kimino might weigh in here. Then we must return to the point of the Artemis thread.

[Hessen Bub]

We did have a good laugh about it and she learned the meaning of Was Dass Fick.

What's that? Mistranslation of WTF?

HB

[Pistons]

Not only is this a shame, but it is also not true. The girls can do whatever they want. Some girls talk with me for hours just so they won't have to share a room with me. If you were told this 15 min story, it was a story.

Oh, that actually makes it alot worse if some of them lie as well. I guess my list interesting girls at Artemis just got shortened a bit now. I suppose it is inevitable that most of them just want to make a quick buck though. But lies never gets you far if your buisness is "sales" as it most deffinately is here.

[Rocketboy0]

I also think it is a shame that the girls are only allowed to talk to you for 15 minutes before you decide to go to the room or not. It seems way too strict, and I don't know if its good for their business in the long run.

Not only is this a shame, but it is also not true. The girls can do whatever they want. Some girls talk with me for hours just so they won't have to share a room with me. If you were told this 15 min story, it was a story.

- She remembered me, since I had warned her that eventually her youthful effervescence would freeze, and she would become just like the disillusioned girls, tainted by ennui and cigarettes.
For us habitual mongerers, many trips to the FKK can produce that same kind of dim disillusionment. Not a single session feeling meaningful in any way, that pursuing fleeting delights with wh0res, we are on the wrong path. But Busse restores our confidence in our choice. Although her gaiety may belie a deepening sadness, she was my guide to bliss in those moments.

"Frozen effervescence? Tainted by ennui and cigarettes? Her gaiety may belie a deepening sadness..?"

Well we know from your previous incarnation, the great American novel is still very much a work in progress. Raymond Chandler on crack, or, this is less Hunter S and rather more BS.

I don't know if you are aware of it but the ISG is well known to the Artemis girls and "Malik" asked me about this little post during a visit today. I tried to translate, which as you can imagine was not easy. Difficult to capture the olde Zeitgeist of mixed metaphors and non sequitors, etc. We did have a good laugh about it and she learned the meaning of Was Dass Fick..

Now that Angus is on sabbatical, I can rant at will. Very liberating.

But, in the interest of keeping the forum's true (explorer) spirit alive-I had a long postponed first session with Sandy (petit, very wide smile, Blond RO) who is one of the prettier providers around. While she give it the old college try, we did not click really and non repeato. Then went with Charleen (Amazonian, brunette, tall, busty (with a mighty fine pair of rare D+ naturals, DE) who could not have been nicer, was quite responsive to RBs wicked ways and versa vice-ah, and a most def repeat.

Also had a long chat with a very nice local who works for a relevant engineering dept and had some great stories about everyone's favorite vaporware airport (BER). Some internal discussions revolve around an analysis that showed it might be cheaper to rip the whole new terminal down and rebuild vs trying to fix it. In any case, it is likely to be at least summer 2014 before this Weltwunder shall open. Artemis is the ultimate office water cooler.

[Pistons]

I was just in Berlin a few days and visited Artemis some days while I was there.

I am not going to write about all my sessions as I consider some parts of it a bit private, but I can review the girls attitude, which I find to be the most important thing at a club like this.

- One of the bulgarians attitude seemed interresting at first, but the flirt is just a trap. Bad experience. She was a tall fake blonde with a fit body.

- I noticed the moldavian girl you mentionned here. Her hair is not curly though. Its all straight. She is cute, but a bit young perhaps. I think also Isabell is moldavian. Or is she Romanian?

- Jada and Susie seemed to me to have the nicest personality, and they are both extremely hot. Both blonde and below average height. If I would have any of these girls at Artemis as good friends, it would be these two girls. I suppose a few of the other germans are nice too, but I didn't talk so much to them. Jada is more the cool funny type. Susie is someone with a heart of gold and just a great companion!

- Then you have the experienced "hunters" such as Marketa and Julia. I think both really enjoy sex. Especially Julia. Marketa is more the expert at sex. The other girls should take a course from her, hehe. I guess her technique comes from her probably being the girl at Artemis who makes the most money. Just a hunsh from seeing her picking up so many guys all day long. The problem is that these girls are too "pro".

- In retrospect trying so many girls was a waste, but thats what a place like this is for I guess. Then repeat with the one or ones you like.

- I also think it is a shame that the girls are only allowed to talk to you for 15 minutes before you decide to go to the room or not. It seems way too strict, and I don't know if its good for their business in the long run. If we run out of girls to come back to at the club, we might as well go somewhere else. This is where asian clubs with the "barfine" makes more sense, although I suppose that wouldn'd work considering the prices would have had to be alot higher to keep up with the earnings of the top girls.

[Hunter S]

I was leaning on the rail by the spiral stair, looking around, biding my time between sessions, sipping some water, though maybe I needed some booze. But the next moment, I was next to her, Melek. Words passed freely between us, a mixture of English and German.

"Do we know each other?" she asked."I don't think so," I replied,"although you do look similar to another Turkish girl, Busse." "Ha, I am Busse!" she replied."I just had to change my name: none of the Turkish guys would believe I am Turkish." She continued,"So we do know each other: I thought you too looked familiar, but I wasn't sure, so I didn't approach you".

For I neither approached her, nor she me. We were just accidentally standing next to each other, a conspiracy of fate, an unintentional reunion.

To be sure, Busse has gained some weight: but from when I last encountered her, many months ago, her body fat was at a minimum. She was freshly chiseled from a diet, fitness, and surgical enhancement. Now, not so lean, but fuller. Whatever sight lost by her increase, so touch is amply compensated.

Since I was 'geil', we ascended the staircase (also, since her personality is so winsome, you know when you say, Yes, you are not making a mistake: one look into her eyes and you know error is impossible). She found my Deutsch amusing: "you know all the bad words". So I called her a s1ut and wh0re in jest. She was wearing just the remnants of a torn neon top.

Which she was quick to remove once we entered the room. To note though, I am one who prefers bright lights, so I enjoy the moments spent with girls at the top of the stairs. Once you enter the room the light of course dims. The counterpart is perhaps observing girls in the restaurant at the Palace.

In the room she remarked that her photographs were taken in there. She asked if I had seen them. I confessed I had not, that I wasn't too interested in pictures, since it's so much different in person, and most of the girls wear wigs or expose only their posterior to the camera. But I was happy for her that her career was progressing well, that she was now a cover girl, of sorts.

She remembered me, since I had warned her that eventually her youthful effervescence would freeze, and she would become just like the disillusioned girls, tainted by ennui and cigarettes. To my uncritical eye, she had lost nothing of her charm: she always awakens a special mood in me. But she did confess,"I am a lot more serious now: this job has changed me."

For us habitual mongerers, many trips to the FKK can produce that same kind of dim disillusionment. Not a single session feeling meaningful in any way, that pursuing fleeting delights with wh0res, we are on the wrong path. But Busse restores our confidence in our choice. Although her gaiety may belie a deepening sadness, she was my guide to bliss in those moments.

By the valuables lockers, I compensated Busse for her services, then headed downstairs to the sauna.

[Finite]

After having tried some 10 different girls at Artemis, I must say that the best one is a new moldavian girl named something on T. I kinda forgot her name, but she is probably one of the sexiest girls I've ever seen. 20/10.

One of the better experiences I had on my last visit was a petite girl, who called herself Heather. You can find her on Art's website, she's not blond anymore like in the pictures, maybe this is the girl, you are thinking of?
Actually she's the only girl I know of how are from Moldavia, but I'm sure there are more girls from her country in Artemis.

http://www.fkk-artemis.de/page/girls/img_0048-2/

Edit: Don't worry about not remembering the name of every girl, neither do I. Usually because of a large intake of alcoholic beverages, and sometimes because of having the focus on other matters than a fake name.

[Timeer]

Tiara I think it was: slim, blonde slightly curly hair near the end, dark eyes and 22 years old. Worked there for just 1 month.

[Rocketboy0]

the best one is a new moldavian girl named something on T. I kinda forgot her name, but she is probably one of the sexiest girls I've ever seen. 20/10.

Kimino is the good cop.

Kinda? So, she is one of the sexiest girls ever. 20 out of 10, and all you can manage is "something on T"? How can you not remember the name of one of the sexiest girls ever? Perhaps it is W "T " F? I mean, why bother posting? C'mon boys, get a grip.

[Kimino]

After having tried some 10 different girls at Artemis, I must say that the best one is a new moldavian girl named something on T. I kinda forgot her name, but she is probably one of the sexiest girls I've ever seen. 20/10.

Some kind o description so that we can identify her?

Kimino

[Timeer]

After having tried some 10 different girls at Artemis, I must say that the best one is a new moldavian girl named something on T. I kinda forgot her name, but she is probably one of the sexiest girls I've ever seen. 20/10.