General Reports

[Darksol]

Someone on the board recently said there are two things 'Pattaya mongers' do when they reach africa. Either flee back home with tail-between-legs or never leave. (paraphrasing).

I had originally intended to travel down the coast:

Addis. Somolialand - Djibouti. Nairobi - safari. Mombasa - Zanzibar. Dar - Seychelles. Desroches - Mauritus. Rodrigues - Mayotte. Moroni and finally Madagascar.

However, I'm cutting (and running) after Dar. And if my tail is in the wind. I hope it looks like a glorious but beautiful kite!

I was looking forward to the island hopping, not so much for mongering but just renting a car and tooling around and photographing, but to be honest. I'm so burnt out and exhausted by the Africa I've already been through. That I just want out. Now. Enough to ditch my tickets and whatever hotels I can't get out of and just fly the fuck out of here. (however not on a MAX) doh!.

I've been reading your entertaining posts and in part on their basis decided to give Kenya the miss altogether and stay in Uganda. I am going the dating apps way and having (I think) greater success.

But yes, it's all pretty run-down and dismal. No straight lines anywhere.

[Cynicalist]

Addis. Somolialand - Djibouti. Nairobi - safari. Mombasa - Zanzibar. Dar - Seychelles. Desroches - Mauritus. Rodrigues - Mayotte. Moroni and finally Madagascar.


But, I find nothing redeeming about mongering in the parts of Africa I've been. For any potential mongers wanting to come for the easy / good / plentiful pussy I'd heartily recommend that's it's over hyped and to stay away. Unless you're here for the game reserves, or unless you're black and can fit in, or find problems mongering in other destinations because of their racism. I can't think why in holy hell you would want to come to Africa to fuck.

It is a miserable, hot, fraught, depressing, sad scene.

No clue why on earth you'd ever visit Somalia.

Try Southern Africa next time. Zimbabwe / Botswana / Namibia / Botswana and Cape Town.

Or the island of Cape Verde (you will need a strong handle on Portuguese though) but the mulattas are worth it.

Also being black doesn't give you anymore license to fit in than an American visiting Europe or Australia.

[ElephantBeer]

Someone on the board recently said there are two things 'Pattaya mongers' do when they reach africa. Either flee back home with tail-between-legs or never leave. (paraphrasing).

I had originally intended to travel down the coast:

Addis. Somolialand - Djibouti. Nairobi - safari. Mombasa - Zanzibar. Dar - Seychelles. Desroches - Mauritus. Rodrigues - Mayotte. Moroni and finally Madagascar.

However, I'm cutting (and running) after Dar. And if my tail is in the wind. I hope it looks like a glorious but beautiful kite!

I was looking forward to the island hopping, not so much for mongering but just renting a car and tooling around and photographing, but to be honest. I'm so burnt out and exhausted by the Africa I've already been through. That I just want out. Now. Enough to ditch my tickets and whatever hotels I can't get out of and just fly the fuck out of here. (however not on a MAX) doh!

Mongering has always been a way of (a method of) traveling. I've been to over countries & territories. If I didn't monger I'd probably just sit in a nice hotel, see the sights and museums ad nauseam. Then make a pretty check-mark on my map. Mongering has gotten me to places like Vila Mimosa in Brazil or Songachi in Calcutta etc. Random dark bars in random dark parts of town. I've gotten to meet local girls (or local imports) and think it's made the overall experience more meaningful (and more fun). You see a LOT more of a city when you're running from one RLD to the next.

I've also seen a lot of poverty. Haiti, rural parts of North Thai, PI, Cambo, Venz, India, Egypt, Nepal etc. But I've never seen poverty combined with the level of violence (or potential violence) that Africa offers up daily.

Asians can be violent, but they're more of a sneaky-snakey-violent. They'll watch you for awhile, looking for weakness and then act on in if they think they won't get caught. Most crime is property robbery or generic theft, or someone you let too close. I can deal with this. In Africa it is just non-stop in your face outright fucking fear-of-death punch-in-face, machete you or shoot you violence.

So far I've been:

Punched once (Nairobi), had stones thrown at me (Somolia), attempted robbery while on street (Nairobi), seen a guy get head butted and shoved in the trunk of a car (while being stuck in taxis at 11 pm at night surrounded by 40+ people), seen two fights, one guy getting kicked by small mob on the ground, and heard of two shootings within a few blocks of my hotel. I have numerous shoulder bumps, a few fake cops and endless hard stares. Not to mention all the little crap. Having to push drunk aggressive dudes off me, being chased down the street by two guys following me (one on either side), the catcalls and threats etc etc.

This is just not my idea of fun mongering, nor my idea of seeing the world. It's miserable, and I'm actually paying boatloads of currency for this experience.

In addition. While I love photographing rundown places (like Havana or parts of Colombia, Jakarta etc) what I've seen of Africa so far has been FAR from eye candy. Trash, poverty, girls in burqas and a whole lot of frigging dust. Mombasa to me is one of the ugliest cities I've ever seen on earth. It may actually be the ugliest city I've ever been in. A huge sprawling shithole from the airport to Mtwapa.

Everything you do here you have to deal with scams. I walked down to the beach in Mombassa the other day (In front of my hotel), as soon as my foot hit the white sand here come 6 or 7 African guys approaching me. I turn my direction to avoid them to let them know I'm not interested, they turn too. I wave my hand. No thanks! - still they come. I crouch down to take a photo of the ocean and then they're surrounding me, one guy wants money as there's a 'beach toll' - another guy says it's not safe but if I pay him he'll watch out for me, another wants to take me on his boat etc etc. When I just shake my head and so 'not interested / no / maybe later / not going to happen guys' - most touts would try again and walk off. Instead 5 of them hang on. As I walk down trying to take a few photographs they walk too. Standing in front of what I'm trying to photograph. Now I'm 'arrogant' and when they finally leave (as I abandon the beach and make it to the hotel' one guy says he'll be watching for me.

Lovely place, and lovely people.

I've been in more impoverished parts of India, not all poor people act like this. I've mainly found it in places like Jamaica, parts of Dominica and of course. Here.

The threat of serious violence is all around you in the parts of Africa I've been. While not totally a pussy. I also know I don't stand a chance if something happens with a few drunk African dudes (or sober ones). I have a good life, good health (knock wood), still in my early 40's and have too much to live for to deal with this nonsense just to hunt African pussy.

This brings me to. African pussy. I have seen some of the most strung out looking, nappy, over-aged, nasty, fugly and fatty prostitutes here than anywhere else on the planet. Other than PNG and maybe Dolly during it's closing days. No joke, sitting at a bar in Mombassa the other day. Looking at 4 obese 50 and 60 something white guys doting on girls that were literal train wrecks. I have seen a few 'princesses' in expat hotel bars etc but they were only 7's and couldn't touch a pretty South American or Asian girl (and I like black girls).

Most often the problem I've run into in Africa is that I just can't find anything I'd want to put my dick into. I'm not picky. I like skinny, big butts, big breasts, no breasts, small, tall, etc. But many of these girls are similar to mongrel soi dogs. You don't want to pet them without hand sanitizer in other hand. I'm not trying to be mean. Just realistic. I can't find someone I'll shag. When I look at the photos many of you are posting. I wouldn't shag those girls either. Their only appeal is they're nude and showing their hoo-hoo, but the reality of them. Yikes. (yes, there are exceptions).

The few relief-fucks I have had. Are typical short time / massage places. They're okay. But nothing that memorable. I could have had the same thing in just about any other mongering destination. And yes you can get a slightly cheaper shag here, but once you figure in flight costs, accommodation costs / quality and just the horrible surroundings. It is NOT a bargain.

The hotels are overpriced and in poor condition, internet is sub-par, food offerings are often suspect, customer service / tourist infrastructure low, healthcare even lower, risk of diseases infinitely higher, and chance of anything worthwhile to see or do during the day is non-existent. Girl scams and hotel room thefts are prevalent, everything must be haggled for (taxis, money changing, shopping etc). I can't not even imagine trying to be an expat in these places. The access to foreign goods, services, construction materials, etc. A true fucking nightmare.

So, am I a coddled Pattaya guy who just wants to go one bar to next and point at a girl to fuck? Am I missing the adventurous crusader spirit that my fellow African mongers have? Am I not a good world traveler? Should I have my license revoked? Hang my head in shame at my viking ancestors?

I dunno, maybe. I've sat many a night in far flung rice field brothels in Cambodia, enjoyed slum brothels in Rio, Venz, Colombia, the apt brothels of Argentina, train brothels of Jakarta, Batam, then dolly, the catacombs in China, Geylang, Fylis st shops, FKK and AO clubs, etc etc.

Many of these are off the beaten tracks. I've hidden under the raised shacks on the Viet border when drunk guys came to find the foreigner, been in my fair share of fights (younger), make a few lucky escapes. I wouldn't say my mongering life has consisted of sitting on a couch crocheting.

But, I find nothing redeeming about mongering in the parts of Africa I've been. For any potential mongers wanting to come for the easy / good / plentiful pussy I'd heartily recommend that's it's over hyped and to stay away. Unless you're here for the game reserves, or unless you're black and can fit in, or find problems mongering in other destinations because of their racism. I can't think why in holy hell you would want to come to Africa to fuck.

It is a miserable, hot, fraught, depressing, sad scene.

[Triple Darknes]

I do fully agree with the remarks about the different phone companies as mentioned below. So Telkom is much cheaper than Safaricom, but is sometimes less reliable.

But the main problem with Safaricom is indeed that the data are disappearing in a mysterious way like snow in the sunshine. Especially when you are watching or downloading Youtube videos.

There is a third company, Airtel, offering the same rates as Telkom, but I have no experience with that company.

I used Telkom last time I was here and I didn't have problems. Sararicom defenitely stole data, I went through 2 re ups in a week.

Trip

[Triple Darknes]

Stay away as they flights are always canceled and with huge delays. This starts around Jan. 2018 and still continues.

Both flights from BKK and Nairobi was delays in August 2018 when I visit Madagascar. They have very cheap flights which is a trap.

Stay away from Ethiopian too, Someone said it before and I kinda pooh-ppohed it but maybe it was because of the crash but this is the first time I had a significant delay.

Bole is not the airport for a layover, The wi-fi didn't work the bathrooms were far away the prices for their shops were crazy and I got the run around. Even the "air conditioning " left room to be desired.

The sad thing is Ethiopian is the cheapest way to get to east Africa from the east coast of the US.

Take heed.

Trip.

[Member #4673]

[Deleted by Admin]

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[Trevor2522]

Stay away as they flights are always canceled and with huge delays. They have very cheap flights which is a trap.

Thanks for the heads up, NewMadaExpert. Fortunately I'm time-flexible in my old age and, in any case, airlines are bound to put travellers up in a hotel if a long flight delay. Kenyan is cheapest from London to Antananarivo (£537) but 7 h layover outbound, so was considering converting it into a longer stopover. To anyone who has done Madagascar & Kenya: how does Kenya compare on safety, general prices and availability of women? Thanks in advance.

[NewMadaExpert]

Stay away as they flights are always canceled and with huge delays. This starts around Jan. 2018 and still continues.

Both flights from BKK and Nairobi was delays in August 2018 when I visit Madagascar. They have very cheap flights which is a trap.

[Bajuni]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources...he_sugar_daddy

[Zimzam]

I do fully agree with the remarks about the different phone companies as mentioned below. So Telkom is much cheaper than Safaricom, but is sometimes less reliable.

But the main problem with Safaricom is indeed that the data are disappearing in a mysterious way like snow in the sunshine. Especially when you are watching or downloading Youtube videos.

There is a third company, Airtel, offering the same rates as Telkom, but I have no experience with that company.

[Member #4563]

In Mombasa area there are Cartel of prices in hotels especially in tourist area. Two ways to overcome it.

1. To stay out of the prostitute areas such as Miritini, Mikindani or even in Town. Then you look at google maps and find hotels and read the reviews. In this area no Agoda, Booking.com etc. Its only good for anyone who wants to stay out of the tourist circle and Monger some real girls. For example Cingaki Hotel, Miritini Guest House or Airport Link Inn. Airport Link Inn for example charge 1000 KES per night. You can see some exotic arab girls around.

2. Go for Mtwapa from a week up to a month. For a week the israelies charge 100 USD non A/C and 150 USD A/C. I am talking about the building of Uziel in the aly next to catholic church. Next to it there is another israely owned building.

3. for Mtwapa lovers better to rent for a month from 100 USD to 200 USD apartments without furnitures or partial furnitures. Buy what you need and find a way to store it for next time for a small fee. Many caretakers will be happy. The trick is to avoid 100 percent any web publications. If this apartment is on the internet your are fucked. Just walk and ask if you see a building without even a sign you can smile. One other method is to take a girl or a boda boda driver and tell him you look for a monthly apartment not for tourists. The disadvantage of this method is security. However some apartments are more expensive with less residence and excellent security. I know every dog house inside and out and good places do exist.

4. just get rich. Life is easy.

Now. Mobile networks Safaricom is the most expensive one as far as Data bundle goes and give very poor value for GB to KSH. However they have significant advantage over Tellecom former orange as follow.

1. True 4 G speed.

2. Strong signal reception almost everywhere particularly inside buildings.

3. Very good value for SMS as long as the recipient also a member of safaricom.

4. Its the most popular operator by far and its means that there is no delay when sending text. So if you buy a Telcom and text to a Safaricom member then the Text can.

Get there up to an hour. I test it my self to a girl sitting next to me.

5. Stability- the network most of the time operational as Tellcom has long period of downtime.

One thing I don't like about Safaricom is that beside the price of a data bundle they seems to measure badly your usage. So sooner then expected you have zero credit. Tellcom don't steal like that.

[Amadeuss]

By the way, Telkom gives much more Mb or Gb daily for the same money as Safaricom (like 2 Gb daily for 99 ksh, compared to Safaricom, that gives a meager 1 Gb for the same 99 ksh.).

For one week's stay, which Network you suggest to get a Sim card from? I may do perhaps 100 SMS text and need 2 GB? On data for Watsapp and Uber.

[XXL]

It seems to be a German only website. Eg for Mombasa they lists 9 hotels they "certify" as girl-friendly.

https://www.girlfriendly-hotels.com/...mtwapa-bamburi

[Zimzam]

If you visit Kenya with long intervals in between you might find out that your credit on your sim card has disappeared, or even that your sim card doesn't work anymore.

As far as I know on Safaricom if you buy airtime it will be valid for 3 months only. On Telkom (formerly Orange) it lasts for 6 months.

Now if you have a Mpesa account, it seems that if you have even a small amount on that account they cannot let your sim card expire, (or at least that is what I think they cannot do) as you have some of your money stored there.

Recently also Telkom have started their own money service, called T-Kash.

By the way, Telkom gives much more Mb or Gb daily for the same money as Safaricom (like 2 Gb daily for 99 ksh, compared to Safaricom, that gives a meager 1 Gb for the same 99 ksh.).

[BobBlack]

To all East African regulars I want to ask you all a question that hurts me tremendously and it's about the pricing of hotels / Apartments, and what we can do to make these owners change their attitudes about pricing and tourism. I specifically refer to Msa as a destination and in not only mine but many others opinions that they are going crazy with their prices. I am going to Msa in October (which is supposedly low season for visitors) but you would never think that with the prices they quote for that time of year. I have searched online through airbnb, hotels and apartments and find that they are now getting more and more expensive, possibly higher prices than in Europe or USA for second rate furnishings, water supplies that are sometimes non existent and power cuts that are normally in the higher end places taken over by generator sets when these cuts occur. One of my biggest gripes is a place called Cowrie Beach which has two lifts to climb four floors and one of the lifts has been out of order for at least two years and now it has been reported that the second lift is also now out of order yet the prices for the accommodation remains the same. How the hell do they get that right and on asking them about this they say the lifts will be working on my arrival dates which I find very hard to believe. The manager told me personally that as the lifts were installed by Hyundai they are under warranty and they are waiting for a technician to come and fix them from South Korea. Does it take almost three years for this to happen. Or is it because the owners won't pay the price for the technician to come to Kenya to fix them. I wonder what owners of certain apartments make of this as some of them are privately owned and offered for rent in their absence.

I checked Tamarind Village and was also shocked at their pricing of £140/ day for what has been described by reviewers as being seriously in need of refurbish and poor furnishings and fitments that their management say is in hand and is a work in progress. So is my dick as I have a wank.

Honestly what can we do to tell these people that they're driving away custom by having these run down places and do nothing about fixing the problems to be able to attract customers. Another one is Jumeriah Beach apartments which are 3 bedroom and bathroom en-suite. I don't need three bedrooms as I can only sleep in one bed at any given time but they ask for £200/ day which is OK if you have three guys willing to share a place like that. I also see that being a Kenyan resident lowers the price for such places. They're driving people away by offering 2 star accommodation at 5 star prices. The airlines also love this place and the variance in flight prices for a few months difference is extreme to say the least.