FKK Dietzenbach

[Gino02]

Haha funny report FuckedUpSwede. Did you meet Amira? She looks better than most girls in Oase and Sharks, beautiful face age 21-22, with awesome natural see-cup boobs on a very shapely slim frame, and was a super sweetheart sexy fucks with me in my last trip. 😁.

[FuckedUpSwede]

I just had to try this club after reading Cowboys reviews. I thought it would also give good input on my path to FKK nirvana and yes, it did.

I arrived at 19 and expected something a bit filthy and extreme but I mostly saw a bunch of mongers sitting in sofas doing nothing and a bunch of girls running around seemingly trying to avoid the mongers.

I sat down and drank some water and watched the scene. There was some girls I found attractive and one of them ran around like a squirrel collecting dishes. I did not dare to disturb her until she sat down. I approached and asked for a room.

No answer. Then her friend said I needed to wait a bit. I saw that she had a platter beside her with some food. OK, she want to finish her food. I told her I wait and pointed at the coach I used.

And I waited, and waited, and waited. Then I see her in the stairs going up with another monger. What the actual fuck! OK, she must have waited for a regular. I calm down, drink some more water, watch some porn, watch my fellow mongers doing nothing, getting pissed. The girl eventually returns to the room and starts to collect freaking dishes again! I think, what is wrong? Do I smell funny? Is my craziness so far advanced that the girls are scared of me? I was told you get hairy hands by wanking so maybe I am physically changing!?

OK, I calm down, approach her again asking: can I have a room with you? Puzzled expression on girls face. Zimmer? No contact, her friend bursts out, you want water?

Then it hits me, Cowboy always ranting about "day care" I drove taxi in my youth and I used to take retarded people to "day care" where they had coffee, played music, did simpler work an other things. This must be something like that, but a german, perverted variant. He has good sense of humour that cowboy.

Then lightning hits and the girl bursts out "you want to fuck me? Me: euhm yes, I'm trying to be a gentleman here but something like that yes.

I think, OK now I will soon get rid of my blue balls. But no. There are now 3 girls involved in this matter, one asks, you want normal? What do I answer? I don't know what you consider normal in this place. If you read other reviews on this forum pretty much everything is "normal" here so I just say I do not know. Puzzled faces. Next obstacle, which room do you want? Upstairs or downstairs? I do not really care, I tell her to just choose one for gods sake!

Ok, we are now inside the room. She asks, "you want to fuck?" I reply "no" puzzled look. "blasen? My reply "no". Now I can see that she starts looking for the alarm button. She has gotten a fuckin freak on her neck! Will she survive this?

"What you want! My reply, "I want to give you a massage" puzzled look "massage? Me: "yes, I want to put cream on your body" pointing at the lotion. Finally the sessions starts and I am a happy man!

I only want one session so I leave but I get so distracted by a girl laying with her ass up scteaming in the coach under the value boxes that I forgot my wallet and have to return. Whats about the numbering of those boxes by the way, seems totally random?

Final words, you get the following info from written notes in various places in this FKK.

- the girls price.

- the girls names.

- you should wash your teeth.

- you are not allowed to [CodeWord111] in the showers.

I think this is enough info, the rest needs to be experienced.

If I return I will choose a more direct approach, I will walk around the room staring at the girls and scream "ficken" when I find a winner.[Deleted by Admin]

EDITOR'S NOTE: This report was redacted or deleted to remove sections of the report that were largely argumentative. Please read the Forum FAQ and the Forum's Posting Guidelines for more information. Thank You!

[Gino02]

I figure he meant Luderland as well and others may differ but this is a really good club with many good selections. Al of them misbehave as well. The showers are nicer, the locker area is very bright and the lockers huge, a poor man's Sharks locker with the upper and lower levels. The rooms themselves are nicer as well, a hybrid of the typical RTC club and ' a real club. ' Only negative is the boxes for your money are a cluster box of what are old bank safe deposit boxes with very thin slots, the kind the safe box is slid in at the vault. They actually have a wrench / hook type tool on top of the boxes to use because if your wallet, phone or money get pushed too far back you can't get your wrist in there. Only that tool will fit in that box (and little Diana as well).

Yeah I meant Luderland, the Catholic place. I'm very religious and follower of the doctrine. BB and KK, thank you both for correcting me.

[Smoke Light]

I hate to think what an idiot the maid must have thought I was when she cleaned out the garbage

Let us just say this was your humble contribution to our warrior fight for the gender equality.

[Kosher Kowboy]

The plastic bags are for women to wrap used absorbent pads and tampons during periods and dispose them in garbage instead of flushing down the toilet.

Thanks.

I should have asked back in 2016. I always figured it was the plumbing and should have put 2 and 2 together back than instead I spent the first few months every morning struggling to get my hand.

Never mind.

Finally that task proved to be too difficult and experimented with flushing all goodies down the toilet and it worked so I stopped stuffing bags. I hate to think what an idiot the maid must have thought I was when she cleaned out the garbage can and for that matter anyone reading this.

[Smoke Light]

why do some places have plastic bags to wrap up your used toilet paper and others don't?

The plastic bags are for women to wrap used absorbent pads and tampons during periods and dispose them in garbage instead of flushing down the toilet.

[Kosher Kowboy]

Luder Lounge in Dortmund is not a RTC but a day club, he's talking about Luderland or something like that.

I figure he meant Luderland as well and others may differ but this is a really good club with many good selections. Al of them misbehave as well. The showers are nicer, the locker area is very bright and the lockers huge, a poor man's Sharks locker with the upper and lower levels. The rooms themselves are nicer as well, a hybrid of the typical RTC club and ' a real club. ' Only negative is the boxes for your money are a cluster box of what are old bank safe deposit boxes with very thin slots, the kind the safe box is slid in at the vault. They actually have a wrench / hook type tool on top of the boxes to use because if your wallet, phone or money get pushed too far back you can't get your wrist in there. Only that tool will fit in that box (and little Diana as well).

[Kosher Kowboy]

KK, like you I also wish that the gods of rental cars are always kind enough to upgrade me free to the otherwise very expensive Porsches rentals so that I can drive at 260-300 kmph speeds where allowed on Autobahn. But unfortunately it happens only when they run out of all options (pretty much sold out in all categories)

I will ping you next time any of these happens and we drive together to our Queens in NRW. I'm yet to ever be to Finca or Louder Lounge, so that could be a mini adventure.

I don't drive over there but the same has happened on the airlines with me the last few years. Once in a blue moon they will upgrade my seat due to overbooking. I usually always fly the Comfort+ seat in Delta (can not sit in economy seats for more than a 2-3 hour flight) but if they overbook the flight or have empty seats in Delta One or Comfort+ they will start from the back of the plane pushing folks in economy up to Comfort + and from Comfort+ up to Delta One which on the Airbus 747-300 (I think that is what most Delta flights are for medium / long hauls) that is really business class not first but still a lay flat seat, giant TV, great food and the bathroom (sometimes two) are always clean and the toilets spotless. Also first to exit the plane to avoid lines at immigration unless it is JFK in which case you are fucked regardless; amazing how Atlanta and Detroit get you thru in 1-15 minutes in JFK it takes 15 min just to get from the gate to immigration. Maybe I shouldn't complain people tell me Heathrow is worse and next trip I have 65 minutes to make a British Airways to British Airways connection so not sure if I have to go thru immigration or not since not leaving the terminal and instead do so in Germany. Fortunately 90% of the time I fly to Europe the planes arrive 15-60 minutes early.

We can do Finca first, fill up our bellies while there than I suggest we hit Luderland, fill up Isabella (if back) and / or Sarah (there) and hit the road up north in your Porche and find ourselves a fine steakhouse and order a meal rich in proteins to be able to properly vash our Queens the next morning. Actually I am quite sure can get Princess Di to the hotel. Her English stinks but occasionally it is a tad better ( not by much) in which case I know I am writing to her manager and he really isn't that bad a guy (he also responds quicker) , I have shared a smoke (his brand is much stronger, colorful and flavorful) and dined at Burger King with him so I think he will have no problem letting us tap his girl the night we check in.

By the way speaking of toilets what is with these European toilets with two square panels on top you flush others have one push button in the center, they all seem to do the same thing and why do some places have plastic bags to wrap up your used toilet paper and others don't?

[BigBuddy69]

Luder Lounge in Dortmund is not a RTC but a day club, he's talking about Luderland or something like that.

[Gino02]

Gino02. I didn't realise you have been in our company so long. I bow to your experience. Were you using a different handle way back then?

I know I am only an amateur, but, without giving details of Alice's private life, I think you are incorrect

Hey Optimist, yeah I started doing FKKs many years back, circa 2005. But haven't really posted much back then, besides few stupid questions here and there. I do not and never had any other handle, it's just not my thing in any board or social media, as it is I suck in writing LOL.

And yes, it's my bad to mention something personal about someone who's still there in the business even if in a different role. I broke my own code of conduct, and that was not right. Thanks for pointing it out.

KK, like you, I also wish that the gods of rental cars are always kind enough to upgrade me free to the otherwise very expensive Porsche rentals so that I can drive at 260-300 kmph speeds where allowed on Autobahn. But unfortunately it happens only when they run out of all other options (pretty much sold out in all categories) and the rental car manager is a kind hearted one; so far happened only 3 times in almost 15 years, though free upgrades to BMW 3 series or Mercedes C-class happens quite frequently, and you can easily push those suckers to 240-260 kmph. I will ping you next time any of these happens and we can drive together to our Queens in NRW. I'm yet to ever been to Atmos, Finca, Magnum, Oceans, or Luder Lounge - so that could be a mini adventure trip.

[Kosher Kowboy]

Apologies for all the relevant but at first sight offtopic stuff.

I am looking forward to normal service being resumed and to my next visit in two weeks. Proper field reports will of course follow.

I agree with you Optimist.

I think we have driven home the point now and made others aware of the issue and I truly hope other guys will be more careful out there in deciding who to trust especially thru the PM system where we truly may not know who we are talking to.

Not sure if I will catch you on your trip I may be out of there a few days prior but would be great to see you again.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

[Optimist]

Apologies for all the relevant but at first sight offtopic stuff.

I am looking forward to normal service being resumed and to my next visit in two weeks. Proper field reports will of course follow.

[Kosher Kowboy]

The issue of guys reading reports to girls in order to make themselves look like White Knights is as old as the hills. I have rarely suffered as a result of these would-be heroes, but have no wish to be embarrassed by them again. The last incident was a couple of years ago in Sharks when a guy read my reports to my favourite and I then received upset Whatsapp messages from the girl. The guy achieved his purpose and became a brief honey for the girl, but I noticed that he soon after started writing derogatory comments about her as his tactics did not achieve his wish of her coming under his control. Such guys are roaming the forum using dozens of fake handles to escape detection and previous bans and trying to befriend unsuspecting members who will then be at the very best, insulted behind their backs to other members, and at worst, put in embarrassing situations. That is the reality of White Knights who live in a fantasy world

Agree with you on all. The real damage is done to the WKs themselves not the guys they try to target or keep away from their favourites; these girls don't give a shit but doesn't make it right. We actually have what is called ' Pink Knights' here and they are women who register handles on the board also known as ' Man-dles' who than either write their own fake reviews or come to the defense of the clients who get attacked by other guys for White Knighting. Quite a headache for the mods which is probably why our boards that run on VBulletin and Invision for the most part have to constantly employ the software tracking programs or as is the case in the olden days when I wore a different hat on the boards (still hated hats in the bedroom) before all the updates caught the guys and girls who learned to skirt the tracking software the good old fashioned way.

Thru their writings and the more handles they had the more they crossed over and tripped over their own shoelaces; giving these posters ' the rope to hang themselves' we called it.

This board is a later version of VBulletin than we operated on and certainly has the software to catch these guys you refer to if they wish but the problem with tracking software is the culprits who abuse it usually stay one step ahead of the software, as the old saying goes ' Burglar alarms only keep the good guys out'.

[Optimist]

As I am the subject of discussion I will clarify to make it clear I don't give a monkey's about the universe's curve balls. I didn't get to where I am by bleating about life being unfair

What I said was "I personally no longer report in huge detail on the content of my sessions". This does not mean that I do not post detail. I write more detail than most members and think that reports of who, when, how, and where are a useful function for this forum. Of course such reports are only a snapshot reflecting many subjective variables and it is up to other members to use them or not, as they wish.

I try to include details like services offered / declined by a girl, pricing, physical characteristics, attitude and so on. What I include takes account of the following;.

1. Will the girl be offended if a guy reads the report to her (if my report is uncomplimentary I am not concerned about this)?

2. Will I become persona non-grata in the club if I am identified by a guy as the author of the reports?

3. Does the girl consent to the writing of reports (again, if my report is uncomplimentary I do not worry about this)?

4. Is there any possibility of what I write leading to trouble for a girl with the management or for a club with the authorities (for example, I would not write that a girl was taking cocaine). Although of course if I knew for sure that a girl was being trafficked or abused I would make sure I reported this in some way.

The issue of guys reading reports to girls in order to make themselves look like White Knights is as old as the hills. I have rarely suffered as a result of these would-be heroes, but have no wish to be embarrassed by them again. The last incident was a couple of years ago in Sharks when a guy read my reports to my favourite and I then received upset Whatsapp messages from the girl. The guy achieved his purpose and became a brief honey for the girl, but I noticed that he soon after started writing derogatory comments about her as his tactics did not achieve his wish of her coming under his control. Such guys are roaming the forum using dozens of fake handles to escape detection and previous bans and trying to befriend unsuspecting members who will then be at the very best, insulted behind their backs to other members, and at worst, put in embarrassing situations. That is the reality of White Knights who live in a fantasy world

So, as I said, my reports do not have the extent of detail they once had, but I hope they are in some tiny degree, of some use to some members. That is my motive for writing this. Not to bleat but in the hope of being of some use to others

[Kosher Kowboy]

And a guy using them against you is obviously a huge dick move.

Glad we can agree on that