Pattaya Reports

[Syzygies]

I saw little to get the sap rising on Soi Six and those that did look doable tended to spoil it as soon as they opened their mouths and emitted screeching Pahk Isaan noises that were more often heard in a zoo or bird sanctuary. Am I alone in thinking that the noise of eastern dialect Thai is on par with low born Cantonese as being one of the noisiest and least attractive languages on earth?

Issan dialect, which is almost identical to the Lao language, has many words in common to Thai, but pronunciation is changed.

This makes Issan sound somewhat uglier than Thai, but is not as bad as sound of low class Cantonese. However once the Issan folk, crank up the decibels, it does get quite ugly. It clearly depends on what you are used to. I find Vietnamese rather jerky and ugly, just like Catonese is ugly. I find young girls making announcements in Thai language in Department stores to be extremely beautifully melodic at times. It is hard to like Issan dialect when you are used to central Thai. Southern dialect is maybe less ugly but sounds more comical somehow. Northern dialect is a little quaint. All sound better than Cantonese. Happy to not live in Hong Kong or nearby.

In the province rice fields, the locals can be on different farms separated by 100 metres (sorry no feet here), can be having a conversation by yelling at each other in the Issan dialect over the distance. The weird thing is, when they are 5 feet apart, they still seem to be yelling. They can be yelling into their phones as well.

When wanting to converse they prefer to yell over distance rather than moving close to the person for the conversation. Being drunk typically increases the decibels too.

If I am alone with the Mrs. , she seems to be just a slightly loud and exuberant at times, but quite reasonable. When other Issan folk arrive, her decibels seem to rise so much, it seems like she is showing off, and I have to consider wearing ear plugs. I am happier when all the folk are gone, and I can have some peace and quiet disturbed only by farm animals and her music playing all day long.

Not every Issan person is a very loud speaker, and shrieker when calling out, but it is common. Normally Issan people are much quieter when in Bangkok, and use the overly loud volume mainly in the villages.

Many languages in the world sound pretty ugly when you are not used to them. e.g. I watch plenty of TV series in Swedish (with subtitles), and it sounds rather jerky with strongly stressed syllables. I understand German but don't really like the sound of the language, compared to Thai. When it comes to English, even the accent can be lightly annoying or comical, like Deep South accents, or some regions of the U.K., so many variations for the way vowels are pronounced. The new "Dr. Who" is a woman, right? It flashed on the telly, and I did not like her English Yorkshire? (sounds non-classy) accent at all. Switched it off real quick. Most South African, new Zealand, and Australian actors would try to lose some accent for TV, so it does not grate on us. We don't even have to tolerate strong deep south accents on TV normally, nor the most unintelligible Scottish accents.

Could be even hard to take a girl as a G.F. with an ugly accent. If my G.F. had been a very loud talker when I met her, then we would never have got any further. Little did I know in the province she would suddenly be capable of being rather loud a little too often.

[Cunning Stunt]

Perhaps because his son was with him?

Generational thing maybe, happy to hear his son get a paid-for BJ a few feet away but didn't feel comfortable with his son seeing the full-on debauchery that Dad routinely enjoyed.

Yes, that is about it, Ed. Guess that I'm old school.

Although the bit about being a full-on debauchee is a bit hard but probably true also.

[Ed Setra]

The obvious reasons are not so obvious.

Perhaps because his son was with him?

Generational thing maybe, happy to hear his son get a paid-for BJ a few feet away but didn't feel comfortable with his son seeing the full-on debauchery that Dad routinely enjoyed.

[Mr Enternational]

I did not monger at all on that week long trip (for obvious reasons) and I'm not decided whether or not I will partake on this trip or not.

The obvious reasons are not so obvious.

[Bouvis]

as soon as they opened their mouths and emitted screeching Pahk Isaan noises that were more often heard in a zoo or bird sanctuary. Am I alone in thinking that the noise of eastern dialect Thai is on par with low born Cantonese as being one of the noisiest and least attractive languages on earth?

The Isaan squawk still reminds me of a murder of crows, once the volume goes up a few notches it's possibly the most abrasive sound I've heard a human being make.

And squawk they do when it comes to anything to do with Baht and Som Tam.

Good, bad and indifferent.

The sound doesn't get me hard. Many times I've pulled up stumps when it gets to fever pitch.

That Cantonese shrill I have heard in Hong Kong. Painful.

[Cunning Stunt]

Here we are in Pattaya again. Not been here in over a year but the place doesn't change much. I tell a lie, the place no longer seems to have that overlying miasmic cloud of the stench of shit that it used to have. Have they finally got around to fixing the cities sewage system? From the look of all the excavation work going on along Beach Road, it's an ongoing project. I rather miss the familiar 'I smell shit. Ahh, it's good to be in Pattaya again' feeling.

I'm staying, as usual, at VT six. It's the best located hotel that's not a hotel in town, right next door to the swanky Hilton and a few steps to the Royal Festival Mall. It's not that cheap, probably on par with a mid-level hotel but the rooms are large and well equipped and the views across Pattaya Bay are tremendous. I like to sit like a lord on the big balcony and thumb my nose at the hoi polloi scampering like ants far beneath me on Beach Road (okay I know that ants do not scamper but you get my drift).

Last night I walked along Beach Road as far as Soi Six. The last time that I was here, I was accompanying my adult son, who was desperate to lose his paid for BJ cherry. He had already amazed me by pulling two freebies in the first three days of our stay in Pattaya. One was a not bad looking Thai MILF in her mid to late twenties and the other a slightly podgy but fuckable Russian tourist. But he wanted Thai blowjob bar ticked off his bucket list so we headed up (or is it down?) to Soi Six. And a surreal exercise it was too, sitting drinking a beer in a Thai Bar whilst merely feet away I could here the unmistakable sounds of my boy been sucked off by a young and quite attractive bargirl. Life is full of surprises and new sensations and you should embrace the novel and different.

I did not monger at all on that week long trip (for obvious reasons) and I'm not decided whether or not I will partake on this trip or not. You might think what is the point of making the trip to this place if I wasn't going to taste the forbidden fruit? Good question. My extensive worldwide experiences of the past 3 to 4 years seem to have spoiled me to the pleasures of day to day punting that I used to enjoy in places such as Pattaya. Or maybe it's the ravages of encroaching old age that is to blame. I saw little to get the sap rising on Soi Six and those that did look doable tended to spoil it as soon as they opened their mouths and emitted screeching Pahk Isaan noises that were more often heard in a zoo or bird sanctuary. Am I alone in thinking that the noise of eastern dialect Thai is on par with low born Cantonese as being one of the noisiest and least attractive languages on earth?

So maybe I'll be happy with a BJ or two and like Bill Clinton, not count them as having sex. At the moment I am happy to observe the going on in a place that must rank as one of the worlds number one destinations for people watchers and voyeurs. There is something going on every where you look. It is indeed an eye opener.

[Syzygies]

What is comical about that? A lot of people are looking for husbands.

Yes girls and LBs alike, potentially looking for a husband. Naturally tougher for a LB to find one permanent guy that won't seek to upgrade to a younger hotter model even so often.

I suppose if LB tells a customer, "she" is looking for a husband, it is mainly for some psychological effect, not sure if that would scare away any customers. I suppose some girls may say they are looking for a husband too, but most us would not be fooled, if it wasn't true, perhaps a tactic to suggest she is passionate and has no pimp. LBs are naturally especially prone to exaggeration.

Many hookers are looking for a rich husband or sponsor or three, unless purely supporting a pimp, right? They can't be a hooker forever. Its a stop gap.

[LittleBigMan]

Thank you fir the suggestions. What are the bets places to get girls during the day in the Nana area.

I don't leave in Bangkok, but Pattaya! Go to the Bangkok Thread, or better yet all the massage threads there are tons of advice as to what and where to go that is what I do whenever I take a break from Pattaya and take a day trip to Bangkok.

If I don't stay long enough to get a room, I go to a massage place with all the ending and shower there even brush my teeth?

[Gabriel Jacob]

Two female masseuses ideally. But could be a guy and a girl too.

Are you looking for two female masseuses, or a masseuse and a masseur?

SL.

[Mr Enternational]

LOL I overheard a lb talking on line on beach Road last night saying. "I'm looking for husband" LOL comical.

What is comical about that? A lot of people are looking for husbands.

[Downandup]

Thank you fir the suggestions. What are the bets places to get girls during the day in the Nana area.

If I assume that you are not going to get a room, then look into BJ bars like Wood / Lolita's / Kasalong, dirty massage joints in allys off Soi 22 (after the marriot Marquis) and then the Japanese style places further along Sukhumvit.

[SamPeter71]

Thank you fir the suggestions. What are the bets places to get girls during the day in the Nana area.

This is so true great advice unless you want to spend resting and all jetlag in the taxi, you are talking a good two-hour ride each way, 4-5 hours lost from your 16 and let's say you get a good deal for each direction 1000 baht that is 2000 baht lost.

You can get a taxi to the Nana area, 200-400 baht, get a cheap room on one of the side Soi 500-700 clean up shower and head out for a bite to end, get a foot or Thai massage with a Happy ending if you desire or just wait until places start to open up and follow Christian G. Advice. Too many choices instead of spending it in traffic, it really is a no brainer!

[Zman429]

I have 16 HR layover at BKK and my flight reaches around 7 am. My return flight is at 11 PM. I am planning to go to Pattaya and stay till 6 in the evening.

What are the suggestions for day time action at Pattaya. Is it good idea to visit Pattaya during the day.

Any suggestions on BKK airport to Pattaya. Taxi vs bus.

Thanks.

For Bangkok or Pattaya that's a tough one. If you know where you're going and doing it might work. The freelancers are sleeping. MP's are open but afternoon is best. In pattaya soi 6 opens afternoon. Soi 13/1-13/2 has some skanky gogo's and good MP's. You might catch a good FL on beach Road or not. Bus to Pattaya is a big time killer and you don't have any so take taxi if you go there. You could line up a girl ahead of time on TF and meet her. If it were me I'd do Bangkok and hit soi 24 at phrom phong bts. If I absolutely had to see pattaya (and I wouldn't) I'd arrange a taxi and go to Soi 13/2, Soi Chaipoon, or Soi 6. Actually Soi Chaipoon in Pattaya would work there's a good gentlemen's club opens early. In afternoon I'd hit up Soi 6 and walk beach Road.

[Zman429]

Yep, I've spotted a good number of BR girls on the ThaiFriendly site. I find it amusing watching them at work on the beach continuously looking at their phone checking to see any activity on their TF account as well.

LOL I overheard a lb talking on line on beach Road last night saying. "I'm looking for husband" LOL comical.

[Sunlover2]

Can anyone recommend a place or provider for erotic couples massage. We are especially looking for a place that has good massage and facilities and provides good service for happy ending for guy and girl. Thanks!

Are you looking for two female masseuses, or a masseuse and a masseur?

SL.