Seeking Arrangements

[Midwestern]

How often does the person not match their photos? Any other things to worry about?

I was actively on SA for about 18 months. Met almost 100 gals. No one used a fake pic, but almost everyone used their best pic that was often photoshopped, and so prepare to be a little disappointed when you meet them in person.

[Akibono]

How often does the person not match their photos? Any other things to worry about?

[SavePros321]

Almost all of my SA dates later told me that they had a friend who had their back during our date (for example, their friend was close by, to make sure she was safe).

Oh, you mean Jaquan and his goon squad, LOL?

Guys, all I am asking is for dudes to not be so desperate for female companionship that you bury your head in the sand and toss aside all sensibilities. Remember, when Backpage and Craigslist shut down, pimps didn't all of a sudden decide they no longer need to eat. Seeking Arrangement is very much a Pay for Play website that managed to dodge getting shut down by the Feds. Why would they not take advantage of this and flood the zone with the girls they control?

An added bonus? Men are all posting their net worth on the website for everyone to see. Even more? The John has multiple photos of his silly grinning face posted as well!

Said the Cop to the Robber: "Why did you rob the bank?

Robber: "Because that's where the money is!

[Midwestern]

At SavePros321,

In addition to what Steve said, it's possible the gal was texting a friend who was worried about her meeting a stranger. Almost all of my SA dates later told me that they had a friend who had their back during our date (for example, their friend was close by, to make sure she was safe). I kinda did the same. When I went to a gal's place, I took a picture of the address and sent it to a friend, in case I disappeared without checking back in. And my first dates were always in a crowded place on purpose. Anyway, your post is also valuable, as it's a fair warning. We all should be on guard, that's for sure. To any noob to SA, definitely read this entire thread. It won't take longer than 30 minutes to obtain the experience of our collective years on SA.

[Steve 9696]

See the attached photo where I got myself into a situation that I had no idea of how to escape.

More on that in just a minute.

I know this is an international site, but most guys forget the distinction. What happens in Europe on SA will not work the same in the US. Prostitution is 100% illegal in the US, and most of the scammers and robbing crews on these SB websites are banking on the fact that you will not go to the authorities should they catch you slipping and set you up. I mean, it's illegal right? How much sympathy would you expect the cops to have for you?

Another thing guys fail to realize about SB websites is that you and the female are diametrically opposed:

-Her goal is to get as much out of you as possible without having to do anything for it. Let alone have sex! Most of them would love for you to Cash App them money without them ever having to meet you in person.

-Your goal is to get sex from her without shelling out a bunch of money on gifts and useless dinner dates just to finally get to bang her. Kinda sounds exactly like regular dating, right?

For the REAL SBs on those websites, they basically want a guy that would be someone they would see being someone they would actually be in a boyfriend / girlfriend relationship with, with the added benefit of this person giving them money. Think the Billionaire character in the 50 Shades of Gray movie who has the three 6's all women want: 6-pack, 6-feet tall, 6-figures.

A fat slob that wants to give her money for her honey? "I'm not a pr0 stitut3!

Back to my story.

My main protocol on SA is to never ever agree to meet with any female on SA without FIRST video chatting with her either via FaceTime, Google Hangouts, or Duo because I do not post any photos that show my face (I am also not going to send Snaps via Snapchat back and forth, the conversation has to be in real-time). This cuts down significantly on scammers who are using fake profiles and pretending to be the females in the photos to dupe suckers into sending photos of themselves (yes, there are gangs on those sites profiling "Whales". More on that later).

I only discuss monetary "help" and potential meeting dates / times / locations via video chat, and this has always been fool-proof. Until it isn't.

The broad in the text messaging screenshot attached: We video chat and she seems to be at home alone at the time. Works a normal job and we schedule a time to meet around her work schedule.

(Also key: always try to do these meetings during the early daylight hours, as you will see why in a minute).

We agree to meet at a Starbucks in my area (a very nice part of town).

I get there early and pick a spot in the back of the place near the restrooms. Closer to the meeting time for her to arrive, I look towards the front of the store and there are a handful of Latino males and females pacing out front. They caught my attention so quickly because the looked very much out of place there. One of the younger guys is looking into the store from outside and we lock eyes. They eventually come into the store and go to the counter. The males are paired up with the females and it is made to look like they are all on a date. They sit at a long table not too far from where I was positioned.

I then get a text from the girl I am supposed to be meeting and she says "I'm here". I then reply "I'm inside".

She then texts back the following:

"he said he's inside".

"Wrong person".

"Sorry I didn't mean to send that".

I then freeze the fuck up. "Damn, what's my next move?

100% sure at this point that the Latino crew is with the chick I am supposed to meet (she was a latina). I then get on my cell phone and pretend to be talking to someone. The girl I am meeting finally comes in and walks over to me and sits, looking hella embarrassed by the fact that she's given up the game.

"Who were you talking to?" I say. She replies "I didn't mean to send that. " And that's it. Since again I am certain she is with the young Latino crew, something in my mind tells me to remove this chick from the situation. I immediately get up and say "there's too many people in here. LE't go for a walk" and start to head for the door. She follows promptly behind me.

To shorten this story up a bit, we walk on the strip of this Starbucks and I talk to her as if we are still trying to determine when would be good day and time for her to come over and how much she wanted for it. But I knew I was going to block this scamming h03's number as soon as I could get clear of her. Good thing working in my favor was that she nor they had any idea what I drove there in since I arrived super early (and she was late).

We come back from a bit down the sidewalk of the main street and I stop in front of a BBQ joint that is also on the same strip but a but further down. I tell her "cool, I'll hit you up and we can talk more as we get closer to the date of us meeting. " I give her a hug and then tell her "I'm going to get some lunch!" And then I disappear into the BBQ joint.

Now at this point I am still trying to plot my escape. I had no idea if the Latinos where watching from Starbucks or not. From the restaurant I stand inside and look at my phone like I am waiting on a friend to arrive. I see the scammer girl get into her car and leave, and I keep my eyes on the Starbucks from the restaurant. A little bit later I see the young Latino group all leave out of Starbucks and start to head in the direction of the restaurant. They pause about halfway, linger for a bit, and then go back into the Starbucks. At this point I haul ass to my car, jump in, put it in gear, roll quickly out of the parking lot and blow through the red light.

Just in case I was being tailed, I went out of my way to make wild, sudden turns onto new streets, bust you-turns, and take a much longer route back to my place.

Parting advice for newbs:

Never EVER show your face on those SB websites. All of my photos on Seeking Arrangements have my face blurred or blacked out. Some of those SB websites will not let you hide your face; I would not use those sites at all. You are setting yourself up to be robbed once the robbing crews know what "Big Bank Hank" looks like. Remember how escorts used to hide their faces on Backpage or Craigslist? YOU are the prize on the SB sites. You need to do the same.

Also, never EVER agree to meet a female in person unless you video chat via FaceTime or Google Hangouts or Duo FIRST. Obviously it does not save you from scammers 100% of the time as I have demonstrated in the above story, but my experience has been that it filters out a lot of chaff. Any chick that runs away when you tell them to video chat with you first is 100% a scam chick or not the chick in the photos.

If they ask me to send a photo, I tell them video chat only. Do not send a photo of yourself! I would say at least 85% of the younger female profiles who are less than 25 yrs old are probably Pookie's or Paco's trying to see if you are stupid enough to give away as much personal details about yourself as possible in order for them to figure out where you live and what you drive.

And don't be so much of a chump that you would send money to a chick you've never met in person! I have had females on SA tell me that they need to be compensated to talk to me via video chat or for meeting me in person. If a chick tells you she needs to be compensated for meeting you or talking with you via video chat to determine if the two of you could potentially help one another out, tell that h0 e to get lost!

Hope someone out there gets value from this post and use it to avoid getting got.

Look I am sorry you had a scary experience. But using that one experience to paint all of SA is just wrong. The one good piece of advice in the above is never send money. Any girl who asks for money upfront instant block. The rest of it will assure you a horrible SA experience. You do not need to video chat. You don't need to meet in a Starbucks, unless you want to guarantee you won't be laid that day.

I've done 17 US based SA since June and none have been anything other than nice girls, except for one that I knew was a straight up hooker from our interactions. And her only problem was she was late and lazy. Of course I had screened out any scammers and cash girls. I don't doubt that it CAN happen; but I think the chances are very very low.

I am sure others here who have been using it successfully will agree.

Oh and I do agree with u though that real SA girls are not willing to fuck a fat slob for money. In fact the moment it smells vaguely like sex for money u are done. You have to have at least decent looks and some game if u wanna close the hotties and they wont meet u without a pic. I would never post on SA but will text an unsearchable pic after we are comfy.

[SavePros321]

What do you think are some risks I am not aware of? I am single so I am not worried about them knowing my name, but I am a bit concerned about my car since plates can easily be traced. Don't want strangers showing up at my place. Not cool.

See the attached photo where I got myself into a situation that I had no idea of how to escape.

More on that in just a minute.

I know this is an international site, but most guys forget the distinction. What happens in Europe on SA will not work the same in the US. Prostitution is 100% illegal in the US, and most of the scammers and robbing crews on these SB websites are banking on the fact that you will not go to the authorities should they catch you slipping and set you up. I mean, it's illegal right? How much sympathy would you expect the cops to have for you?

Another thing guys fail to realize about SB websites is that you and the female are diametrically opposed:

-Her goal is to get as much out of you as possible without having to do anything for it. Let alone have sex! Most of them would love for you to Cash App them money without them ever having to meet you in person.

-Your goal is to get sex from her without shelling out a bunch of money on gifts and useless dinner dates just to finally get to bang her. Kinda sounds exactly like regular dating, right?

For the REAL SBs on those websites, they basically want a guy that would be someone they would see being someone they would actually be in a boyfriend / girlfriend relationship with, with the added benefit of this person giving them money. Think the Billionaire character in the 50 Shades of Gray movie who has the three 6's all women want: 6-pack, 6-feet tall, 6-figures.

A fat slob that wants to give her money for her honey? "I'm not a pr0 stitut3!

Back to my story.

My main protocol on SA is to never ever agree to meet with any female on SA without FIRST video chatting with her either via FaceTime, Google Hangouts, or Duo because I do not post any photos that show my face (I am also not going to send Snaps via Snapchat back and forth, the conversation has to be in real-time). This cuts down significantly on scammers who are using fake profiles and pretending to be the females in the photos to dupe suckers into sending photos of themselves (yes, there are gangs on those sites profiling "Whales". More on that later).

I only discuss monetary "help" and potential meeting dates / times / locations via video chat, and this has always been fool-proof. Until it isn't.

The broad in the text messaging screenshot attached: We video chat and she seems to be at home alone at the time. Works a normal job and we schedule a time to meet around her work schedule.

(Also key: always try to do these meetings during the early daylight hours, as you will see why in a minute).

We agree to meet at a Starbucks in my area (a very nice part of town).

I get there early and pick a spot in the back of the place near the restrooms. Closer to the meeting time for her to arrive, I look towards the front of the store and there are a handful of Latino males and females pacing out front. They caught my attention so quickly because the looked very much out of place there. One of the younger guys is looking into the store from outside and we lock eyes. They eventually come into the store and go to the counter. The males are paired up with the females and it is made to look like they are all on a date. They sit at a long table not too far from where I was positioned.

I then get a text from the girl I am supposed to be meeting and she says "I'm here". I then reply "I'm inside".

She then texts back the following:

"he said he's inside".

"Wrong person".

"Sorry I didn't mean to send that".

I then freeze the fuck up. "Damn, what's my next move?

100% sure at this point that the Latino crew is with the chick I am supposed to meet (she was a latina). I then get on my cell phone and pretend to be talking to someone. The girl I am meeting finally comes in and walks over to me and sits, looking hella embarrassed by the fact that she's given up the game.

"Who were you talking to?" I say. She replies "I didn't mean to send that. " And that's it. Since again I am certain she is with the young Latino crew, something in my mind tells me to remove this chick from the situation. I immediately get up and say "there's too many people in here. LE't go for a walk" and start to head for the door. She follows promptly behind me.

To shorten this story up a bit, we walk on the strip of this Starbucks and I talk to her as if we are still trying to determine when would be good day and time for her to come over and how much she wanted for it. But I knew I was going to block this scamming h03's number as soon as I could get clear of her. Good thing working in my favor was that she nor they had any idea what I drove there in since I arrived super early (and she was late).

We come back from a bit down the sidewalk of the main street and I stop in front of a BBQ joint that is also on the same strip but a but further down. I tell her "cool, I'll hit you up and we can talk more as we get closer to the date of us meeting. " I give her a hug and then tell her "I'm going to get some lunch!" And then I disappear into the BBQ joint.

Now at this point I am still trying to plot my escape. I had no idea if the Latinos where watching from Starbucks or not. From the restaurant I stand inside and look at my phone like I am waiting on a friend to arrive. I see the scammer girl get into her car and leave, and I keep my eyes on the Starbucks from the restaurant. A little bit later I see the young Latino group all leave out of Starbucks and start to head in the direction of the restaurant. They pause about halfway, linger for a bit, and then go back into the Starbucks. At this point I haul ass to my car, jump in, put it in gear, roll quickly out of the parking lot and blow through the red light.

Just in case I was being tailed, I went out of my way to make wild, sudden turns onto new streets, bust you-turns, and take a much longer route back to my place.

Parting advice for newbs:

Never EVER show your face on those SB websites. All of my photos on Seeking Arrangements have my face blurred or blacked out. Some of those SB websites will not let you hide your face; I would not use those sites at all. You are setting yourself up to be robbed once the robbing crews know what "Big Bank Hank" looks like. Remember how escorts used to hide their faces on Backpage or Craigslist? YOU are the prize on the SB sites. You need to do the same.

Also, never EVER agree to meet a female in person unless you video chat via FaceTime or Google Hangouts or Duo FIRST. Obviously it does not save you from scammers 100% of the time as I have demonstrated in the above story, but my experience has been that it filters out a lot of chaff. Any chick that runs away when you tell them to video chat with you first is 100% a scam chick or not the chick in the photos.

If they ask me to send a photo, I tell them video chat only. Do not send a photo of yourself! I would say at least 85% of the younger female profiles who are less than 25 yrs old are probably Pookie's or Paco's trying to see if you are stupid enough to give away as much personal details about yourself as possible in order for them to figure out where you live and what you drive.

And don't be so much of a chump that you would send money to a chick you've never met in person! I have had females on SA tell me that they need to be compensated to talk to me via video chat or for meeting me in person. If a chick tells you she needs to be compensated for meeting you or talking with you via video chat to determine if the two of you could potentially help one another out, tell that h0 e to get lost!

Hope someone out there gets value from this post and use it to avoid getting got.

[Midwestern]

Lots of good advice in this thread already. All of Steve's advice are particularly good. But many others have also provided their valuable information on their experience too.

Thanks both of you for the input. I am still getting familiar with the system. I do not have enough experience to tell the difference between a gal that is trying to avoid the scammers who want things for free and those that want to scam you. I am experienced enough to know how to be careful. I have never had a problem with a European escort. But in the USA and Canada what is advertised is often what does not show up. I have experienced a demand for payment when you refuse them. I am sure after a few M and G I can handle the situation. How do you tell the difference between the professionals and those that just know how the system operates? Do you always negotiate the gifts in advance? If you do, how do you avoid making the situation feel like an escort?

.

[GoodJobJohn]

Hello Fellow Mongers (newbie).

Has anyone used this site https://sugarbook.com to get SB's in Europe?

Thanks.

[Akibono]

At Akibono, SA gals are not supposed be escorts. If you're looking for an escort, look elsewhere. SA gals are supposed to be NSA GFs. If you don't get that vibe from your date, then take a pass.

Thanks both of you for the input. I am still getting familiar with the system. I do not have enough experience to tell the difference between a gal that is trying to avoid the scammers who want things for free and those that want to scam you. I am experienced enough to know how to be careful. I have never had a problem with a European escort. But in the USA and Canada what is advertised is often what does not show up. I have experienced a demand for payment when you refuse them. I am sure after a few M and G I can handle the situation. How do you tell the difference between the professionals and those that just know how the system operates? Do you always negotiate the gifts in advance? If you do, how do you avoid making the situation feel like an escort?

[SexOnLegs]

Which site Seeking Arrangement or Secret Benefits is good in Europe? I'm an SA vet and currently still with my SB for over 3 years. Best addiction of my life. I'm planning a trip to Europe and prefer to meet a non-pro to be my companion while there. I'm talking several days to include overnights. I want a hot, young lady to take to clubs and stuff like that. Suggestions?

I was going through these conversations and I thought I could give some tips on this idea.

[Midwestern]

At Akibono, SA gals are not supposed be escorts. If you're looking for an escort, look elsewhere. SA gals are supposed to be NSA GFs. If you don't get that vibe from your date, then take a pass.

[Steve 9696]

Finally going on my first date. I find the process quite awkward since I am new to this. My main concern is not being stuck with a skanky ho or being robbed. In the states, you have to worry more about scams. We agreed to meet at a place for a bite or drink and then go up to the hotel. How is payment typically handled? I presume you pay at the beginning, but I am a bit concerned that the gal will grab the money and run and I will have to face her pimp. But I also understand that the girl does not want to be stiffed too. I never have problems with escorts because they know the drill. I am going to put the money out and she can take it when she leaves. I think that is a good compromise. What do you think are some risks I am not aware of? I am single so I am not worried about them knowing my name, but I am a bit concerned about my car since plates can easily be traced. Don't want strangers showing up at my place. Not cool.

Dude if you are worried about these things you are doing it all wrong. A quality SA has none of these worries! She doesn't have a pimp for fuck sake! She's just a regular girl getting a bit of extra cash. Not a hardened pro. She is way more scared about the encounter than you should ever be. At least these are the girls I find worthy on SA. And you can spot the pros a mile away.

As far as money with the right girl I get a thank you note and write a personal note and include the cash. She doesn't want to feel like a hooker. So help her out! And I never put it in plain sight. Always under the ice bucket or something. She hasn't seen any inkling of a dollar until we are fully wrapped up! Shit my London girl I forgot. And she didn't even ask till 4.5 hours later we were in the hall "did you have a gift for me?

These are the girls that are the gems on SA. If I had to worry about all the shit you list I would never do SA.

[Akibono]

Generally, I also want to avoid sex in the first meet. As I said, I am afraid of entrapment (perhaps an irrational fear, but we can't be rational all the time), also a first meet and greet does give a chance to get to know, understand, reflect and if still liking the girl, get back with her. Also, as someone else mentioned, the ones who agree to have sex before even the first meet and greet are more likely professional girls and that is usually not my ideal spec. The genuine student, waitress or bartender, office receptionist or even young single mom types may want to also get to know you before agreeing to fuck. I did have sex on some first dates. But in those situations, we still met for a lunch or dinner, spent some time talking, and we both decided we liked each other enough and went to a room nearby. The agreement happened during the meet, not before the meet..

Finally going on my first date. I find the process quite awkward since I am new to this. My main concern is not being stuck with a skanky ho or being robbed. In the states, you have to worry more about scams. We agreed to meet at a place for a bite or drink and then go up to the hotel. How is payment typically handled? I presume you pay at the beginning, but I am a bit concerned that the gal will grab the money and run and I will have to face her pimp. But I also understand that the girl does not want to be stiffed too. I never have problems with escorts because they know the drill. I am going to put the money out and she can take it when she leaves. I think that is a good compromise. What do you think are some risks I am not aware of? I am single so I am not worried about them knowing my name, but I am a bit concerned about my car since plates can easily be traced. Don't want strangers showing up at my place. Not cool.

[Midwestern]

Maybe take it a tad further. State it as a command. "Meet me at xxxx at xx:00 PM. " I learned this from a friend who was taking psychology courses. He said most of us are indecisive, mostly because we worry too much about making bad decisions, so it relaxes a person to take that nervousness away from them. My success rate is way, way better when I say "let's go to my room" as opposed to "want to go to my room?"

So I've been reading a lot of Nanpa (Japanese street pickup) of late and it has a lot of very helpful tips for closing the deal with girls in general and therefore SA girls. Without it there is no way I would have closed Jesse in Las Vegas (full story available if anyone is interested) but more recently it's been helping me increase my contact rate on SA!

The idea is after you "open" a girl on the street and I want to get her to drinks or such you don't say "do you want to xxx". You say "I'm going to go do xxx. Want to come". It's a subtle difference but it's a difference.

So on SA I used to try to think up clever things to say and how to catch their attention. The past two days I've just been saying "I'm going to XX to do YYY on Saturday. Want to join me?" And the number of responses has spiked dramatically. Still some ways to go to see which deal I close if any but it is interesting how quick I get interest this way.

.

[Steve 9696]

So I've been reading a lot of Nanpa (Japanese street pickup) of late and it has a lot of very helpful tips for closing the deal with girls in general and therefore SA girls. Without it there is no way I would have closed Jesse in Las Vegas (full story available if anyone is interested) but more recently it's been helping me increase my contact rate on SA!

The idea is after you "open" a girl on the street and I want to get her to drinks or such you don't say "do you want to xxx". You say "I'm going to go do xxx. Want to come". It's a subtle difference but it's a difference.

So on SA I used to try to think up clever things to say and how to catch their attention. The past two days I've just been saying "I'm going to XX to do YYY on Saturday. Want to join me?" And the number of responses has spiked dramatically. Still some ways to go to see which deal I close if any but it is interesting how quick I get interest this way.