Seeking Arrangements

[Elvis 2008]

Please correct me if I am doing it wrong.

That is how I do it. If I have a hotel room, I just pretend that I am lousy with directions and meet the girl in the hotel bar or restaurant.

[Pessimist]

I paid for a meet and greet a few times. It never led to anything. They continued to want to get paid for platonic dates. At first, I thought it might be worth it because maybe it will be a fun date. But then I realized that the kind of gals that want $100 just for a platonic date are not the kind of girls that are going to be fun to begin with. So I totally stopped doing it.

The funny thing is that if you question them about it, then they will say that they have been scammed so many times and so now they need proof that we are really rich and have sincere intentions for an arrangement, and they will often say "if you are really rich, then why do you care about a measly $100?" I have to admit, this is a compelling line, but just move to the next gal.

Besides, it's all about setting expectations. If you want to be generous, then do it later, after you feel like it is genuinely merited and worth it.

I am afraid I need to disagree with you on your second paragraph MW. Again, this is strictly my take. You are an experienced sugar daddy, whatever works for you works for you. But those type of arguments from a girl "prove to me you are real, prove to me you are rich" are a huge turnoff and I tend to block them when I receive such replies. First, we need to prove nothing, least of all to girls who are ready to fuck for money. Secondly, throwing $100 does not prove one is rich. Even if I had $100 M, I would not pay $20 for a stick of chewing gum for example. You pay what something is worth, and I have a very strict principle that I will pay nothing for a meet and greet. I am paying for the drink or lunch, and that is enough.

Some girls say they don't have a car and ride and ask for Uber money. That is a legitimate request as it is indeed true that some of them have no money and no car. I offer them that I can pick them wherever they want to be picked, and we can drive to a restaurant near their house. Some object and say they cannot get into a car with a person they have not met yet. I tell them there is little I can do. If they cannot risk getting into a car with someone they do not know, I am not going to give money to a person I do not know yet.

I think giving money for a first time meet and greet is a slippery slope. But then again, this is my personal view.

[Pessimist]

Dear Pessimist,

Thank you for letting me know that it is my prerogative. I did not realize that until you so astutely pointed it out. Now that you have, I will act accordingly. Thank you for enlightening me. But who said anything about treating them like a tute? Certainly I did not (I actually treat the tutes quite well mind you). I'm already savvy enough to know we're not talking about in your face prostitution here. Or, eh are we? No, what I'm talking about is not being treated like a simp and disrespected by them, which is exactly what they're doing by thinking I'm supposed to pay them some money just for showing up for a first meet and greet, on top of being a gentleman and paying 100% for drinks, dinner and whatever else that would contribute to a pleasant evening of getting to know one another. I'm not doing that for anybody, be it a tute, a sugar baby, or a "regular" girl. Pay them just to show up to eat the food and down the drinks I also paid for. And by the looks of it, it would seem that some of the men here who do partake in the sugar babes see it as I do.

And lastly, sometimes it's OK to live and learn vicariously you know. You don't have to go out and engage in everything every single time to understand with informed knowledge (as opposed to naivete) that it's not for you. For your own enlightenment, please know that I've researched the sugar baby scene very, very well (for several years my friend) and have viewed (documentaries and programs) and read (all over the internet including here) enough about it (from both the perspectives of the sugar daddies and the sugar babies) to know that it's not for me. Hey how about some props for knowing me for me better than anybody else possibly could? I'm well-educated, I'm well-traveled, and I tend not to shoot from the hip, especially when it comes to how I'm going to spend (or not spend) my money on the ladies. But even if I did shoot from the hip and acted with uninformed naivete, as you say. It would be my prerogative. We understand each other on this. Thank you for shopping!

Wow. You seem to be excessively sensitive. A lot of wasted sarcasm. Good that you have studied sugar babe sites. If you have never used the sites though, studying is just studying. It is as if a virgin said "I studied a lot of sex, even watched a lot of tapes". However, even in this post you talk as if money for the meet and greet is mandatory. I just said there are no rules when it comes to sugar babe sites and indeed no rules for the whole sugar babe scene. By implying that there is anything like a set rule or mandatory gift giving ("being treated like a simp and disrespected by them, which is exactly what they're doing by thinking I'm supposed to pay them some money just for showing up for a first meet and greet" you are already showing that your "studies" were still incomplete. Hopefully, this particular thread is helpful in furthering your studies. Good luck and congratulations for being well traveled and well educated my friend! Always a rare pleasure to meet such people in forums like this.

[The Cane]

The funny thing is that if you question them about it, then they will say that they have been scammed so many times and so now they need proof that we are really rich and have sincere intentions for an arrangement, and they will often say "if you are really rich, then why do you care about a measly $100?" I have to admit, this is a compelling line, but just move to the next gal.

Not to me it isn't, and the question is beside the point as far as I'm concerned. You don't get rich by doling out your money for little or nothing in return. Too many people simply don't have the right level of appreciation for this, especially people who have never had any money. Now, if she intends to put out, then why does she need a "measely" $100 just for showing up when she could have a much more generous gift back in the room? Pray tell girlie LOL!

[Midwestern]

I paid for a meet and greet a few times. It never led to anything. They continued to want to get paid for platonic dates. At first, I thought it might be worth it because maybe it will be a fun date. But then I realized that the kind of gals that want $100 just for a platonic date are not the kind of girls that are going to be fun to begin with. So I totally stopped doing it.

The funny thing is that if you question them about it, then they will say that they have been scammed so many times and so now they need proof that we are really rich and have sincere intentions for an arrangement, and they will often say "if you are really rich, then why do you care about a measly $100?" I have to admit, this is a compelling line, but just move to the next gal.

Besides, it's all about setting expectations. If you want to be generous, then do it later, after you feel like it is genuinely merited and worth it.

[Midwestern]

I am just the opposite of Midwestern. Never a coffee date. Always dinner or drinks and straight to room. Generally 2-4 hours total. Unless she stays the night. Which always warms my heart.

Just a clarification. I *always* use Steve's method when I *already* have a hotel room. For example, if I am on a business trip. I have to admit, it's more hit than miss. Especially if we are meeting for drinks, which relaxes inhibitions. So, if you already have a room, then I totally agree that Steve's approach is the way to go. Otherwise, a coffee date is a waste of time, especially if she does not insist on it or suggests it.

BUT, when I am at home, then I *always* do a coffee date first. Otherwise, what can I do? Book a hotel room and then hope that we will have naughty fun on the first date? Nope. Too many no-shows and sometimes when they do show, the chemistry just wasn't there. So, I paid for a room for nothing. Or, if first date does go well, then book a room on an app and head to the room? Nope. I need to show up at the front desk to go through the whole process of checking in, and this likely entails my losing my anonymity.

Please correct me if I am doing it wrong.

[Midwestern]

Wow. Definitely do NOT do this. You are trying to stay anonymous. The last thing you need is a background screening. I have no photo and no validation whatsoever. Never had a girl ask for more than a pic of what I look like. Even though I've only had 20 ish dates I've surely exchanged chat with hundreds and pics with over a hundred and never ever been asked for more than pics.

I totally agree with Steve. Do not agree to a background check. Don't even bother explaining why you won't do it. It's a convo that is just a waste of your time. Just move along to the next gal.

[SfoCowboy]

I usually give a small gift like a perfume for meet and greet. Nothing too fancy.

If she asks this question she just told you the answer she does not want to have sex with you. She wants you to pay to meet her. Blech! Don't do it.

I have offered to pay a bit but it's an either or proposition. I explain how the date should go and for a complete date I would give $300 or whatever allowance. But if we don't vibe we can part no foul and I will pay your Uber or whatever. Indirectly this has set up in her mind if I bail I get $25 and if I go to the room I get $300. So far always gone with the $300 option.

Even had a Colombian hottie in London I had to go to $100 if she decides to bail. But her friend and me and her had a blast at dinner and had a four hour complete date instead. It was pretty great. Worth every penny. Not saying Id recommend this practice but it worked out well here. Got the girl, got her friend thrown in and had a great time.

[SfoCowboy]

LOL! Background screening. Ha ha ha. No ways I'm going to do.

Wow. Definitely do NOT do this. You are trying to stay anonymous. The last thing you need is a background screening. I have no photo and no validation whatsoever. Never had a girl ask for more than a pic of what I look like. Even though I've only had 20 ish dates I've surely exchanged chat with hundreds and pics with over a hundred and never ever been asked for more than pics.

[SfoCowboy]

Yes, video chat is a must!

Video chats either via FaceTime or Google Meet or Duo. No silly shit like Snapchat or Skype.

Asking them to video chat will weed out lots of scammers (like fake profiles of women who are not actually the women in the photos), but it still doesn't guarantee you aren't dealing with a scammer or someone working with robbing crews (see my long story a few pages back).

My information and advise is USA specific. Seems most guys here are having much better luck with SA in places other than the US where prostitution is legal.

[Steve 9696]

https://optimumscreening.com/SA?oid=...mberid=5140716

You get a badge on your profile if pay for this screening.

Wow. Definitely do NOT do this. You are trying to stay anonymous. The last thing you need is a background screening. I have no photo and no validation whatsoever. Never had a girl ask for more than a pic of what I look like. Even though I've only had 20 ish dates I've surely exchanged chat with hundreds and pics with over a hundred and never ever been asked for more than pics.

[The Cane]

Two of the woman have sent me background check apps. Anybody have experience with these things. It is probably just a way that they can get a commission right?

There was one "jurisdiction" I used to work where the girls regularly asked for "references". WTF is this? A job search? Now, I know why they were doing it, and it could be the same reason for why you're being asked this. Law enforcement knows that so much of the sugar baby scene is nothing more than a cover for prostitution, and it would not surprise me one bit if some of these girls have gotten stung, or they know somebody who has been stung. Or, they're just plain paranoid. As I indicated in a previous post, I have studied this whole scene quite well (really), and I've been waiting for the stories to start coming out. LE begins to target sugar baby sites and starts taking people down. Like they eventually did Craig's List. Sugar babies and sugar daddies. These women could be legit and fear that you are LE. I know one thing. I wouldn't be sending them a damn thing! For real! Out of their f'in minds to ask. Be careful out there men!

[The Cane]

Well, it is perfectly your prerogative to use sugar babe sites or not use them. You can reject them without trying out even once, nothing wrong with that. It does not mean you should treat them as WG or disrespect them. But always keep that in mind. If a waitress at a restaurant or a cashier at a store does not provide the best service, or talks to you less than politely, you will never say I will boycott all restaurants or grocery stores. At worst, you might boycott that specific joint. Why form an opinion about all sugar babes based on what we hear about some girls behaving in a certain way with certain guys? Personally, I think that's an over reaction based on prior naive expectations.

Dear Pessimist,

Thank you for letting me know that it is my prerogative. I did not realize that until you so astutely pointed it out. Now that you have, I will act accordingly. Thank you for enlightening me. But who said anything about treating them like a tute? Certainly I did not (I actually treat the tutes quite well mind you). I'm already savvy enough to know we're not talking about in your face prostitution here. Or, eh are we? No, what I'm talking about is not being treated like a simp and disrespected by them, which is exactly what they're doing by thinking I'm supposed to pay them some money just for showing up for a first meet and greet, on top of being a gentleman and paying 100% for drinks, dinner and whatever else that would contribute to a pleasant evening of getting to know one another. I'm not doing that for anybody, be it a tute, a sugar baby, or a "regular" girl. Pay them just to show up to eat the food and down the drinks I also paid for. And by the looks of it, it would seem that some of the men here who do partake in the sugar babes see it as I do.

And lastly, sometimes it's OK to live and learn vicariously you know. You don't have to go out and engage in everything every single time to understand with informed knowledge (as opposed to naivete) that it's not for you. For your own enlightenment, please know that I've researched the sugar baby scene very, very well (for several years my friend) and have viewed (documentaries and programs) and read (all over the internet including here) enough about it (from both the perspectives of the sugar daddies and the sugar babies) to know that it's not for me. Hey how about some props for knowing me for me better than anybody else possibly could? I'm well-educated, I'm well-traveled, and I tend not to shoot from the hip, especially when it comes to how I'm going to spend (or not spend) my money on the ladies. But even if I did shoot from the hip and acted with uninformed naivete, as you say. It would be my prerogative. We understand each other on this. Thank you for shopping!

[Big Boss Man]

I don't know what your search criteria is or how you are finding these women but I have NEVER had such a thing suggested. A scam perhaps? Real girls are too naive for that and pros to seasoned to care. I think it's got to be scammers. Message me with the city and their profile name and I would be happy to look and see what I think.

https://optimumscreening.com/SA?oid=...mberid=5140716

You get a badge on your profile if pay for this screening.

[Steve 9696]

Two of the woman have sent me background check apps. Anybody have experience with these things. It is probably just a way that they can get a commission right?

I don't know what your search criteria is or how you are finding these women but I have NEVER had such a thing suggested. A scam perhaps? Real girls are too naive for that and pros to seasoned to care. I think it's got to be scammers. Message me with the city and their profile name and I would be happy to look and see what I think.