Phuket Reports

[JakeTheSnake]

I got here a couple days ago after a week in Koh Samui. I'm staying at Baan Patong Guesthouse - paying 400 baht a night. The place has got AC, minibar, private bath and is only one street block north of Bangla road. The best thing is the management are very low key about bringing guests in for the night. Chanathip Guesthouse is across the street from BPG and offers similar accomodations/prices.

The beer bars are loaded with girls sitting on their buts all night. Many good lookers available for decent prices. I think Phuket is alot better than Koh Samui in regards to mongering. More selection bigger scene and better beach than Chaweng Beach in Koh Samui. Pattaya is still the king though.

I went to see a sex show at a gogo on Soi Seadragon. Paid 200baht for a heineken and watched a dancer finagle a raw egg out of her coochie and into a glass. Then she popped out 2 ping pong balls.. Kinda boring if you ask me.

Many european chicks her going topless at the beach. I saw a couple today with huge knockers.

Generic viagra from India available in pharmacies her for half the price of V.

EDITOR's NOTE: Posting of this report was delayed pending revisions to remove the multiple periods at the ends of sentences. To avoid delays in future reports, please use just one period followed by a blank space at the end of sentences. Thanks!

[Rhino Tusk]

Run To Daylight: A Stroll Down Soi Gonzo

Walking down Soi Bangla last night, I look up and see a sign that says: "Soi Gonzo". Soi Gonzo? Well, I happen to be a big fan of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, the only man ever to have rode with both the Hell's Angels and Richard M. Nixon. I thoroughly enjoyed his "Fear and Loathing..." books, and share his passion for American football and Wild Turkey Kentucky Bourbon. This is certainly worth checking out.

I stand at the top, and survey the playing field. A row of bars line each side, must be stacked twenty deep. Little boxes, and they all look just the same. And they're all made of ticky-tacky, and they all look just the same. Reminds me of the new luxury boxes at Lambeau.

I proceed along the right side, since 80% of the plays are designed to go that way. The gridiron echoes with calls of "Hellooooooooooooo....Welcoooooooooooooome..........Where you goooooooooo?" How I love the sounds of battle. Each bar seems to have at least 10-12 girls, but only one or two customers, if that. The resistance is quite formidable.

There seem to be three distinct types of position players on the defense. Sideliners sit quietly, some watching TV, others looking bored and wanting no part of the action. The sideliners have already surrendered and offer little impedance in my quest.

The second type of defender are the linebackers, who will stand right in front of you, just daring you to run them over. Linebackers exhibit extraordinary lateral movement. Move right or left, they will quickly compensate. However, I've developed a very effective technique for linebackers: A small step to the right, just to get them leaning that way, then a quick pivot and 360 degree spin move to the left. Works every time. Fakes those linebackers right out of their.......jocks?

The third, and most difficult type of defender, are the arm tacklers. If you're well hung, you can try to stiff arm them. Otherwise, if two arm tacklers form a tandem, you could be caught in the dreaded "Tug-of-War" which threatens to split you at the seams. Sometimes the arm tacklers will probe below the waist for a fumble, ensuring the balls are secure.

I've made the rounds and can see Soi Bangla again, the light at the end of the tunnel. But, what's this? The troops are amassing for a final goal line stand. I lower my shoulder, bend my legs slightly for better balance, and plunge into the line of scrimmage. Defenders wrap themselves around me, but I shake them off with superior upper body strength. Fortunately, no one has taught these girls to GO FOR THE KNEES! I'm there: Touchdown!!! I'm very fortunate for learning American football, those soccer players will be there all night.

After the game, I went out and got laid.

[Adjarn]

No one should EVER pay more than $1000bt LT at ANY of the open air bars or bars along Bangla. If you do you're a sucker, and a fucker for helping to raise all of the prices.

Go-go's do charge more, but NEVER pay what they quote you either. Negotiate

Low season can be totally awesome! It's a buyer's market for sure.

Adjarn

[Primo Bolan]

Phuket town have some nice "places".

[Jimmy Red Cab]

I was in Phuket last week and things are pretty quiet, even cuties are ony asking 1000 baht LT, one even said she would stay until next afternoon. Made the mistake of staying at The Baan Thai Beach Resort, nice hotel but 500 baht joiner fee, crawling with security guards. Weather wet at the moment, seems to be well into rainy season.

[White Shark]

Hi guys,

I will be back in Patong from the 26th June. Anyone would like to join me in same mongering missions or just for some beers please PM
take care

WS

[Firedick]

Adjarn,

I wouldn't disagree at all. Dealing with the girls face to face would be cheaper. But for a whole "stable" of girls, I'd like to keep it simple, maybe deal with one club or one mamasan.


BTW, I am NO Phuket expert. Just got back from a trip, but before that, it had been a few years.


John Siron,

Soi Sea Dragon is off Bangla. Walk away from the beach and it's on your left.

FD

[Adjarn]

To answer some questions:

Vitamin V is available at all pharmacies, no problems.

Never stay in a hotel that charges $ for guests, most don't.

So much stuff for a B. Party I don't know where to begin. I've done it too many times. It just depends on what you want, ie. show, striptease, prostitutes for everyone, etc. Do you want a private room or back at your hotel? Food, drinks, etc? I think Fredrick has a friend at one of the bars, but ALL of the bars would be more than willing to help you out (for $ of course) Here's some examples of what I've done in the past.

1) Talk to Larry or Joe at Rock Hard on the corner of Bangla. It's the largest, oldest, best go-go bar/restaurant in Patong. They used to have a special room upstairs that would be perfect for a party (may not today with renovations). BG's here are all pros, expensive, but will do nasty things for tips. Has food, good music, etc.

2) Any other go go club would be more than happy for a large group of guys to show up and party down with the girls. Best to talk with the owner first, and have any bar fine waved for your party guests, since you'll be dropping a lot of cash anyway. No food at these places, none to recommend over the others.

3) You can go to any of the open air bars, like Fredrick suggests, or simply go bar hopping picking up the women as you go. This can be fun to walk around and play with all of the ladies, but also very time consuming as women will be trying to pull you guys into every bar you walk by. There might only be a few good looking girls in each bar and therefore, a waste of some of your time.

4) (my personal favorite) is to spend a night or two going around to all of the bars and talking with the girls (or trying them out) and negotiate with them what you want them to do. For example, I've gotten girls to come and do some awesome nasty shows involving toys, lesbians acts, etc. etc. Negotiate your prices, including their bar fines and then have them come to your hotel or party room. (keep in mind that BF are usually 200-500 and that a BG charges $1000 for all night of sex or $500 for ST. I usually get the girls to come for $500 for the show plus what ever they can make doing LT or ST with the guys. I've also hired a few BJ girls who do their duty upon command all night. Usually I pay only $200-300 per BJ (discount price for volume!) Try to negotiate all of the prices up front with the girls, and then tell your friends so they don't over pay. Having the party at your hotel gives you a lot more freedom and fun, plus you can have all of the food and drinks prepared how you want, and save a lot of money. For example: 1 rum and coke at the bar = 120-150bt vs. 1 liter of rum from supermarket cost 120bt. I don't know you're budget, but the money you save on drinks and food can be VERY well spent on the girls.

Another thought, all of you should hit the vitamin V before the party so when you're drunk off your ass the girls can still ride you all night long.

One thing to consider is that a lot of the girls will be afraid to come to a party alone, so you should try to hire the girls in pairs, or more. Even better if you try them out first, so they will "know" you and trust you. Also, they will know other girls who will want to come to the party. (we all want to come to the party, he he). You can also get girls to come w/o paying the BF by arranging everything before hand. I know that Fredrick might disagree with me, but I've always found it better/cheaper to negotiate with the girls directly. However, if you negotiate with the owner of the bar, then you have more security in getting what you paid for. NEVER PAY ANYTHING IN ADVANCE!!!!!
One thing that I'm not sure if I missed or not, is when is your party? What month you come will make a huge difference in girl quality, price, etc. Now is the low season until about October/Nov. Everything should be a lot cheaper and easier to arrange.

Other people have PM me about hotels in Phuket. There are so many small local hotels that are cheap and clean with a/c. You can easily find them for $500+ per day. Never book your stay in Phuket with air and hotel together or you will pay twice as much. Most of the smaller hotels do not have web sites, and the ones that do will sometimes charge more over the net.

One source of information that might be helpful for some, and not for others would be the phuketgazzete.com It is the local newspaper's web site. They do have an advertisement there for a bar called "Katoy's R US" inside the Tiger entertainment complex (this complex is not really recommended because it's only been around for less than 2 years and most of the bars are still empty) Anyway, they have a lot of pictures of their girls and their lady boys (KATOY) for anyone who is interested. I've said it before, and I will say it again. Be careful in Phuket with the BG's because some of the best looking BGs are really lady boys. No judgment either way from Adjarn. I'm sure some of the ones that have cut their dicks off and have been taking hormones for years could probably show you a really good time. You really don't have to worry about making a mistake, usually the lady boys are located on Soi Katoy (where you will see them dancing) or in the Tiger complex. There's also an entire gay section of the scene located at the base of the tallest hotel in Patong.

I know, this forum is about women, but I just thought I'd let everyone know so they aren't wasting their time in the wrong places.
Adjarn

[John Siron]

Thanks Firedick. What area is the Soi Sea Dragon? I can't find it on the Phuket map.

Does anyone have any ideas what could be done for a bachelors party in Phuket?

[Firedick]

John Siron,

If you need local help, check with Terry, the owner of Amigos bar listed below. He will be happy to share knowledge with you and may be able to help directly with arrangements. Tell him "Richard, from Angeles" sent you.

Or, you could hook up with the "Hash House Harriers" for more local help. They are HDQTRD at the Expat Hotel and meet at 3:00 PM on Saturdays.

Good luck,

FD

[John Siron]

Have to plan a bachelors party in Phuket. What do you guys suggest?

[LukeSkyWanker]

Just spent 3 days in the Pattong lodge just outside of Patong beach, hotel is not girl friendly guests discouraged and if allowed, a 500bht joiner fee. It was no problem for me as I took my regular Pattaya girlfriend (her **** is so so small I can't leave her alone.) I booked the room in Pattaya paid 1250/nht rooms are going for about 600 a night if you turn up on doorstep as things are fairly quiet now.

For info;
flight Pattaya-Phuket
flight Phuket-Bangkok
3 nights hotel in Pattong lodge
all above for 2 people 10000bht
not a bad deal

The only problem was it rained all 3 days whilst in Phuket

May the force be with you.

[Firedick]

No, I was snorting Imodium !

[1Ball]

FD...... ???? isn't that what you were snorting ? LOL

[Firedick]

1ball would know.