Thread: Seeking Arrangements
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05-17-23 03:11 #4602
Posts: 1202Odds and ends
I'm in the middle of a business trip, and of course it includes play time with gals. A FR is coming soon, but I thought I'd share some quick tidbits.
1. I invited one of my former SBs to meet me. But becasue Steve pointed out that I may be overpaying them on trips, I realized he was right and so I told her that I couldn't afford givng her the usual shopping money amount, and she said that it was fine. However, during our time together, I could tell she was a little unhappy about the lower shopping money.
What did I realize from this? Precedent is everything. Once you establish a precedent, then deviating from it, especially in a negative way for the gal, is going to be a downer for the relationshp and the time together. That is, once I give X amount, I am setting a precendent and it will be hard to give less than X in the future. So I have to think carefully if I ever want to be excessively generous. And as an aside, I now do realize that I have been too generous in the past.
2. I also inivted my new SB to meet me. She didn't want to come at first, but I talked her into it. She was going to arrive after the my former SB was leaving. But before my new SB was to arrive, she was asking me about picking her up at the train station, about what we were going to do on this trip, etc. This is all okay, but I was getting exhausted from my trip, and so I told her not to come. Luckily, she was able to get refunds for her booked train and booked hotel.
What did realize from this? If an SB is not excited about going on a trip, then do not oversell it. She needs to contribute to the fun, and I also feel that she has to be low maintenance, for me to enjoy being on a trip with an SB.
3. With my new found free time, since my new SB was not coming, I hit up an old GF who is often DTF whenever I am in town on business. Well, luckily, she agreed to come to my room. It had been a couple of years since the last time I saw her. She does not drink. In the room, it is a little awkward. Usually, alcohol kills any awkwardness, as you guys (including Steve) are all aware, and so at first it was just so awkward, trying to go from chit chat to the bed. Then suddenly I remembered one of my modes of operating when I was a young womanizer. I always had music on. And so I quickly turned on some music (old school rap). This eliminated the awkward silence, and everything flowed smoothly thereafter.
What did I realize from this? Having music on in the room helps a lot with setting the mood. No akward silence.
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05-17-23 02:45 #4601
Posts: 1202Originally Posted by Gfefan [View Original Post]
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05-17-23 02:23 #4600
Posts: 2825Originally Posted by Elvis2008 [View Original Post]
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05-17-23 02:21 #4599
Posts: 3368Originally Posted by Midwestern [View Original Post]Originally Posted by Gfefan [View Original Post]
GFE Fan shares similar concerns that I did, but I have been through this. First off, I think every wife knows if a guy is messing around. They just shut it out of their mind. Really, the wife should only get concerned if you catch feelings. Women know how men are. The main thing is you just do not throw your infidelity in her face IMO.
I do not know why men are worried about blackmail but not worried about the woman stealing. They are both illegal, and a woman who tried to extort money from basketball coach Rick Pitino was put away in federal lockup for 7 years: https://bleacherreport.com/articles/...oach-after-sex.
The way a woman could legally extort money out of you IMO is via pregnancy but a pic makes no difference there. Even with that though, there are so many guys throwing money at the hotties in the USA that if things did not work out, the woman could find another guy easily especially if the woman was hot.
So what happens if somehow the wife gets the pic? You lie about it. When I was caught by my ex, I could have lied again and nothing would have happened, but I was tired of lying, and I did not deny it. Furthermore, I said I have more than one SB and the SBs make me happy and you do not. I think I too would have said at some point during this time when I was cheating, I was happily married too. Now that I am out of my marriage, and it is just my opinion, but any guy who says they are "happily married" while seeing other women really isn't.
So add it all up. Blackmail is very unlikely. The wife probably already knows, but the supposed worst, your wife finding out and wanting to leave you in my case was not the worst that happened. Yeah, divorce sucked, and you do not want to go there, but when it ends, then you really get to see how your marriage was, and in my case, ending the marriage was a huge relief. The stress of hiding, the unhappiness, the lack of freedom were weighing me down where more than I though. Guys are constantly saying they can handle the stress, but it wears on you.
And you know what they say about women's quality of life going way downhill after divorce? Yeah, that was way true with my ex.
So really outside of any hurt feelings, I do not see much downside to being in a pic with your SB then. Just make sure she does not put it up on social media.
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05-16-23 20:22 #4598
Posts: 3368Originally Posted by Steve9696 [View Original Post]
There were many times I met the woman and was just not interested in her at all.
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05-16-23 18:20 #4597
Posts: 244If things go south
If things go south with SB, and you have exposure, yes.
Don't want to scare you but, for example, I am married and happily so. Don't want an SB, if and when she is miffed with me, ruin my personal life with evidence. Some smart SB's might sfill find some but why leave something known on the table?!
P. S: I am super happy in my mariage and don't want to lose it. Sex shucks though. I am struggling to answer whether I got in to SA because of poor sex at home or SA got me to realize sex is poor at home. Shucks.
Originally Posted by Midwestern [View Original Post]
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05-16-23 15:12 #4596
Posts: 2760Just Once
Originally Posted by Turgid [View Original Post]
P.S. Straight to room strangely is not always a tell. I've had three straight-to-room girls who were semi pros if pro at all. They were worried about being seen on the town by their friends of whatever. Seemed absolutely legit. Nice girls. In all cases we talked for over an hour over wine in the room before getting down.
Funny aside, one of these girls had her 23rd birthday in my room! You might think she was BSing but she took the Happy Birthday call from her mom about two hours into our wine laden conversation. While she was distracted talking to her mom I took off her spike fuck-me boots and it was on when she got off the phone! LOL. Can't make this shit up!
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05-16-23 14:56 #4595
Posts: 164Originally Posted by Turgid [View Original Post]
Also, during conversation you can tell by how they attempt to limit their losses or they want to come directly to your hotel or to their place, etc. The more professional the SB, the more I'm turned off.
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05-16-23 14:34 #4594
Posts: 2825Originally Posted by LshRoomer [View Original Post]
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05-16-23 14:29 #4593
Posts: 5734Have any of you guys ever met downright 100% pros on Seeking?
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05-16-23 03:19 #4592
Posts: 164Originally Posted by Steve9696 [View Original Post]
In my current experiment, I was looking for someone to link up with during the day, so my normal flow was quite interrupted and coffee dates and brunches become drinks / dinner daytime equivalent. I much prefer the relaxed environment of a hookah lounge or chill bar and the ambiance that the night time brings with it. Surprisingly, there are quite a few responses for daytime availability, but my effort has severely decreased in regards to the daytime experiment. On the flip side, my focus is totally renewed with new prospects in Lisbon and Madrid (1st time in Portugal). Put out some feelers and already the responses have been quite favorable. Love the rollercoaster.
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05-16-23 02:01 #4591
Posts: 2760Bedroom not Coffee
Originally Posted by LshRoomer [View Original Post]
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05-16-23 01:56 #4590
Posts: 2760That's One Name
Originally Posted by DramaFree11 [View Original Post]
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05-15-23 23:08 #4589
Posts: 1202She takes picture of two of you together. Any downsides?
Quite often, an SB will take a picture of us together, especially when we are dressed up or out on the town having a fun time. You guys think there's any downsides to her having a picture of us together? Some of the pictures give away that we are cozy together. Keep in mind that I try to stay anonymous as much as possible. Thanks for your thoughts.
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05-15-23 20:46 #4588
Posts: 164Moved on. Looking ahead
Originally Posted by Chola [View Original Post]
The positive part of SA far outweighs the negative, so for me, it's lessons learned and time to prep for Spain / Portugal. Super excited to check out Lisbon, never been, but the SA scene already looks similar to Spain. Fingers crossed.
I still have some conversations going, so we'll see if any yield fruit. I had a coffee date with Francesca last week and she kinda went silent for a few days. I assumed she didn't feel the right vibe in person, but then she start writing more conversation worthy texts starting yesterday and this morning. Gymnast and definitely bangable, but a bit quirky. We'll see what happens.
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