FKK Artemis - Berlin

[Edward Q]

A quick account of my two visits to Artemis two weeks ago. My first time. The idea of walking around in a bathrobe with naked women surrounding me was appealing, so I had to try it. While changing, the guy next to me was leaving. Said he had a good time but if I really wanted an amazing time, I needed to go to Sharks. I said, you mean in Frankfurt? He said, Yeah. To myself I thought, Well, how the fuck is that going to help me? I've only two days in Berlin. Anyway, it was a Tuesday and raining, about 9:00 PM. Many Asian men for some reason this night. They were hovering near the stairway, hoping to get first crack at the girls entering the room, maybe? About six or eight girls in the bar area. The only place where there was a female presence. After about an hour of sipping OJ, I decided I needed to cull one from the herd. I went with Julia. I had been watching her for a while. She had gone up to every man and sized them up. She is an old pro at Artemis and has a strong personality. Romanian. Since she has something to say and opinions about shit, I enjoyed her company. But as a girl in her thirties, I was hoping for something younger. Regardless, she was professional, which means she knows what a man wants. I can see how she could turn off someone with certain expectations. But I found her to be nice enough. Got the job done at any rate. After, I ate some below average food and had an interesting conversation with a woman from Turkey with Princess Laia hair braids. She seemed personable. Just older than I usually go for. Left after that. On the way out the guy at the desk who worked there acknowledged that there were not that many women and told me there would be 60 the following night. Sounded implausible, but whatever. Next night was a Wednesday; I considered other places. But being tired, lazy, and on vacation, I listened to the man from the night before and returned to Artemis. It was pole dance night, he said. Only saw two girls actually pole dance in my two hours, and although I got there at 10 PM, there were only about 15 girls hanging around. After a long period of sucking on ice cubes, I went with Micky, another Romanian. It was her glasses and smile that got me. Bigger framed girl and like her co-worker the night before, was a real pro. She said she'd been with 3 guys already that night. A quick calculation told me this girl was earning some big $$ here. And she was staying until 5 AM. A nice conversationalist and did not act too pushy. A good performer during the act. But in the end, just OK. I appreciated her companionship more than her actual delivery of the goods. And as with Julia, there was no rushing or clock watching. Also, based on who was available on the floor, I thought these two ladies were the most attractive. I'd rate them as an 8. For women their age.

So, in the end I came away thinking that I had spent 210 Euros each night (70 to get in the door, 70 to the girl for half hour, 20 more for BBBJ, plus 50 more for extras) for a total of 420 Euros. About 450 bucks. Hmmmm. What could I do with 450 bucks in Latin America or SE Asia? And what kind of tight, young pussy could I find for a fraction of that price tag? Or rather, how many girls who meet my criteria could I have met and enjoyed for 450? I was in the Caribbean in June and I know I did not spend even 200 on the six girls I wound up fucking. But this is Europe, not Colombia or BKK, and there is a lot more going on outside the brothel to entertain me. So you have to consider the context. Also, just to have the experience. Kinda worth it. I suppose. Maybe. Well, what can I say? The bottom line is I won't intentionally go back to Germany for sex. If I happen to be there -- as I was in this case -- it's a different story.

One other piece of intel. Seems silly to talk about cost-savings measures after dropping hundreds at Artemis, but thought I would mention that you can take the metro to Westkreuz station on any of the east-west metro lines. Get off, go upstairs to the right, then all the way up, then go left to exit the station and loop around to your left, crossing back over the train lines. Artemis is right there. Taxis are plentiful, but this was so easy and free. Not sure why no one buys metro tickets in Berlin except tourists. I stopped paying for the metro after I noticed no one checks or seems to care. Anyway, it's an easy alternative. Also, it's good to get a little walk in after consuming sausage and beer all day. Good luck!

[NorthernSpirit]

TL; DR. Skip Artemis. Go to Sharks or Oase instead.

Thank you for the report! Did you catch any names of the girls that were available?

However, I'd say you probably visited at the wrong time of the year. Mingering at German fkks, or generally in northern Europe in July / August you will not have the best line-up.

Maybe Sharks, with a larger lineup is less impacted than other fkks, but as a general rule of thumb I'd recommend to avoid these months if possible.

As a related example, I frequently check a Danish escort ad site. Normally, it has about 250-300 ads, but now over summer it's closer to 200. Even for a period it dipped below 200 ads. Some of the more coveted providers also are not advertising at this time but say they are back in September.

Maybe my Danish example is not 100% relevant for the German FKK scene, but it gives an indication that lineups are less than optimal this time of year as many providers travel back to their home countries or just going on vacation as any other worker would.

I wish you happy hunting in Amsterdam.

[Neurosynth]

… Now I'm worried how Amsterdam will be. I'll be going in a couple days and all I see are reviews on how people get scammed and how bad things have gotten. I'm only spending 3 days there before heading to Antwerp where I'll spend another 3 days.

Try going to the third RLD, the "Pijp. " It's small but more local and less hectic.

[Nooky Ninja]

TL; DR. Skip Artemis. Go to Sharks or Oase instead.

It is normal. Most of Berlin away til end of month on holidays. Men also, so market is depressed. There is always a summer downturn. Since forever. That said, no question A lineup gotten worse. Posted before. Makes no sense til Sept.

[SinfullyKorean]

TL; DR. Skip Artemis. Go to Sharks or Oase instead.

I think locals tend to get sick of the same talent. And the talent probably gets sick of seeing the same locals over and over again. Which is why in a lot of ISG threads, you'll see complaint after complaint. Of how good things used to be and how everything went downhill. You see it in the Thailand threads, Oase, and Sharks threads, too. But I had great times in all 3. So I was hopeful of Artemis. I was sorely mistaken. Huge waste of time and money.

I got to Artemis at an odd time - 4:30 PM. Many of the best talents haven't started yet (night shift). And food isn't served (breakfast is 11 am-3 pm, dinner is 6 pm-2 am). So I just wait around, look around for an HR and a half until dinner time. There were probably a total of 20-30 girls. Most were not very good. Huge implants, large lip injections. Nobody really piqued my interest. Someone told me it starts to pick up at 8 pm. So I had dinner at 6 pm. Half the girls came out to eat, too. Selection was absolutely dismal. There might've been a couple 7's. After dinner, I just lingered til 8 pm.

At 8 pm, some hotties came. But so did the customers. It felt like a 1:1 ratio. The problem is, everyone is after the hottie. There might've been 1 or 2 9's, but they were sought after left and right. The better looking girls don't need to do any work. They just sit there and the customers will walk up to them. If the girls can't put in the most basic effort to walk up to a customer, I cringe to think how it'd be in the sack. The few I talked to, I didn't feel very good chemistry with, so I passed. This happened until about 9:30. I was just about ready to call it quits. I decided to take one more look around and found an older (37) lady that reminded me of Salma Hayek. I normally wouldn't find her very attractive, but I didn't want to leave completely empty handed. I walked up to her, she asked if I wanted to go upstairs. I confirmed 70 E and we went up. The sex was pretty vanilla without any extras (e. G. DFK, BBBJ). Condom was applied immediately at the start, before I had a chance to get erect. CBJ was OK. Not much intimacy. Basic positions. RCG, MISH, K9 to finish. This was more of a desperation fuck at this point. Gave her the 70 E and left.

It wasn't the worst session I've ever had. But it can be considered a waste of time compared to Oase and Sharks. Now I'm worried how Amsterdam will be. I'll be going in a couple days and all I see are reviews on how people get scammed and how bad things have gotten. I'm only spending 3 days there before heading to Antwerp where I'll spend another 3 days.

[Edward Q]

I had the same experience with my browser. You need to scroll way to the the right. The translated reviews will be bunched in a narrow strip on that side.

I don't think you need to register to use the site.

Thank you for helping me solve the strange problem on Lusthaus. That was the problem. Just scrolled to the right and the info is there. I appreciate the help. Have a good one.

EQ.

[SinfullyKorean]

I wish you got her name. I'm at Artemis now and would like to avoid her. So far, I agree with what you said. Not a great lineup. Especially after seeing Sharks and Oase. And also coming from Thailand. It could be the timing, as I got here at 4:30 pm. Hopefully, things will pick up after 6 pm. I can't even enjoy the food because there's no food served between 3 pm-6 pm. In the meantime, I'll look through this thread and see if there are any notable mentions.

Went to Artemis yesterday, 1st time in Berlin.

The club is very nice, large, has great facilities and nice food. I liked the club.

The girls though. What a train wreck. Ranging from 3 to 6, with an occasional 7. Very poor lineup.

I chose one of the 6's and took her to the room, which was very nice. But she wasn't nice at all. She has her "routine" where she wastes all the time, doesn't let you touch her properly (I'm not a GFE type but can I at least gently caress her body? Shouts at you in Romanian and bosses you around.

I just wanted her to lay down and let me touch her. This modest request ended in Romanian shouting and me leaving the room without even getting hard.

She then "explained" it's normal here and in Berlin as well. I believe her since there were many locals in the club and they know what to expect.

5 stars for the club.

0 stars for the girls.

If this is by any way normal in Berlin, don't even come to this city.

Not even close to Frankfurt / Cologne.

[JimmyBowl]

Went to Artemis yesterday, 1st time in Berlin.

The club is very nice, large, has great facilities and nice food. I liked the club.

The girls though. What a train wreck. Ranging from 3 to 6, with an occasional 7. Very poor lineup.

I chose one of the 6's and took her to the room, which was very nice. But she wasn't nice at all. She has her "routine" where she wastes all the time, doesn't let you touch her properly (I'm not a GFE type but can I at least gently caress her body? Shouts at you in Romanian and bosses you around.

I just wanted her to lay down and let me touch her. This modest request ended in Romanian shouting and me leaving the room without even getting hard.

She then "explained" it's normal here and in Berlin as well. I believe her since there were many locals in the club and they know what to expect.

5 stars for the club.

0 stars for the girls.

If this is by any way normal in Berlin, don't even come to this city.

Not even close to Frankfurt / Cologne.

[RoyPunter]

This is the best brothel I have been to which doesn't mean much since I have only been to a few. But it blows away anything in Tijuana. I loved lounging at the pool and of course having sex. First girl I fucked we did it in the movie theatre room near the bar. It was 90 euro for sex, kissing and BBBJ. I was fucking her on one of those beds while porn was playing on the big screen. Then some guy came in and started watching me fuck her. He started playing with himself and me and him locked eyes as I am fucking her doggy.

I fucked another girl for 100 euro after, blonde girl from russia. She was ok, sort of mechanical but that's fine.

I are eally enjoyed this place and wish I went earlier in the day so I could hang out longer. I will visit again the next time I am in Berlin. I also will go to kitkat.

Same here. Germany Tiguana.

What other clubs have you been to in Europe? Try Sharks Frankfurt if you haven't already.

Make sure to follow the dress code for KitKat and line up early if you are going on a Saturday.

[Clone8884]

This is the best brothel I have been to which doesn't mean much since I have only been to a few. But it blows away anything in Tijuana. I loved lounging at the pool and of course having sex. First girl I fucked we did it in the movie theatre room near the bar. It was 90 euro for sex, kissing and BBBJ. I was fucking her on one of those beds while porn was playing on the big screen. Then some guy came in and started watching me fuck her. He started playing with himself and me and him locked eyes as I am fucking her doggy.

I fucked another girl for 100 euro after, blonde girl from russia. She was ok, sort of mechanical but that's fine.

I are eally enjoyed this place and wish I went earlier in the day so I could hang out longer. I will visit again the next time I am in Berlin. I also will go to kitkat.

[Nooky Ninja]

I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong on the Lusthaus website. Under the Berlin section, when I click on it, it's just a blank page. Sometimes I can view a posting when it's in German, but I know fuck-all German. But even just now, even in German, the page shows up blank.

Not the place for this (vs. Berlin thread) and not place for tech help. On Lusthaus, no fee needed, not even registration needed. You must have script or add blocker on and it / they are set wrong. Can be extensions. Can be add blocking from inside browser (depends on which you use). Disable all and re-try. Some allow whitelisting of sites-also an option. Do simple search on "(X browser-use actual name) blocking website display" and see tips. If important enough, test on new browser. Continue in Berlin thread if no success.

[Kib123]

Maybe it's just my lack of techno knowledge. But I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong on the Lusthaus website. Under the Berlin section, when I click on it, it's just a blank page. Sometimes I can view a posting when it's in German, but I know fuck-all German. But even just now, even in German, the page shows up blank. I scroll down and see nothing but white. People reference this site for info on FKK, kino, etc. , and it's driving me crazy that I can't see anything. What am I doing wrong? Is it my own browser setting or is there a magic button on Lusthaus that allows you to see the posts? Yes, I am logged in and registered. Is it a matter of paying a fee? I'll be in Berlin in a week and the info on ISG is thin or outdated. Hitting desperation mode. I appreciate the help brothers.

I had the same experience with my browser. You need to scroll way to the the right. The translated reviews will be bunched in a narrow strip on that side.

I don't think you need to register to use the site.

[Kib123]

Thank you for the report. What other nationalities were there apart from Romanians? Any local girls?

I only identified and interacted with 1 German, blond, but she was not a looker in my books. There was 1 African lady, a couple from Brazil, 1 said she was from Macedonia. Rest from Romania.

[Edward Q]

Maybe it's just my lack of techno knowledge. But I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong on the Lusthaus website. Under the Berlin section, when I click on it, it's just a blank page. Sometimes I can view a posting when it's in German, but I know fuck-all German. But even just now, even in German, the page shows up blank. I scroll down and see nothing but white. People reference this site for info on FKK, kino, etc. , and it's driving me crazy that I can't see anything. What am I doing wrong? Is it my own browser setting or is there a magic button on Lusthaus that allows you to see the posts? Yes, I am logged in and registered. Is it a matter of paying a fee? I'll be in Berlin in a week and the info on ISG is thin or outdated. Hitting desperation mode. I appreciate the help brothers.

[RoyPunter]

However quite a few were hot, young and natural. Like other FKKs, most are Romanian.

Thank you for the report. What other nationalities were there apart from Romanians? Any local girls?