American Women

[Mikster]

Thanks for the input to my posting, I appreciate it. We'll see how things shake out. I had a couple other things on my mind as well.

She told me the other day that she wanted to get a job so she wouldnt need me to help her with english school. Its a long story why she is not currently working, but trust me I verified it and its not an issue. Anyway, she wrote me last night and said she had obtained employment at a nearby casino as a waitress, the beverage kind, not in the restaurant if they even have one. I have been to casinos in Lima and elsewhere and I know what she is in for, and I suspect that she also knows. As in getting hit on by customers constantly, as well as other workers there. She probably has to wear a short skirt. I am wondering if this is a red flag at all. I was upset at first, and she got real upset for me not liking the idea and taking up some of these issues. Anyway, what are your thoughts on this? Anything to worry about in your opinions?

On a more topical note i am also wondering about how we act and treat the ladies from places like Peru. WE all know in America you need to be kind of a jerk and have the I dont give a shit attitude, dont say I love you, dont be sweet and dont act like a sensitive pus, etc. etc. When some of you guys were romancing the latin women, did you have the same attitude, as in being a jerk, a bad boy, etc? Or did you give show them your feelings and be a nice guy and truly be yourself and give in to how you really wanted to be? I had mixed feelings about this when I was there, I wasnt sure exactly if they really wanted a nice guy or not, or if it was just bullshit. They all say they hate the "machistas" so on would think being the nice guy would be the way to go. Its just so unnatural to be that way after living in the states all my life and learning how to get women here.

Thanks in advance for any opinions.

Later

Mikster

[Joe Zop]

LS, I think it's too early to tell how things will shake out, given that the serious rise to working equity is a relatively recent phenomena. Yes, in most cases custody is awarded to the woman, but it's also true that most guys do not request primary or sole custody and when they do fight for custody they have a far better chance of getting it. The difference in the percentage of men and women who don't seek custody is massive, and that can't simply be dismissed as a contributing cause for the disparity in custodial or asset distribution situations.

Unless men SAY they want custody they're not going to get it. And those guys (and I know several) who fight for custody out of a desire to continue to control their soon-to-be ex-spouses (generally guys who did the same during the marriage, but given that men tend to view wife and kids as a package deal also some more) certainly don't help the equation. The truth is that child support isn't really awarded as disproportionately as you might expect -- it's about 60/40 in favor of women. And given that, the majority of all marriages that end in divorce do so where there are kids, the issue really comes down to handling the kids.

Joint custody is really the wedge issue -- according to a study done in 1997, in states that had a high level of encouraging joint physical custody the divorce rate declined approximately twice as much as in states that did so in a moderate sense, and eight times as much as in places that heavily favored sole custody. That reduction may have to do with custody, control, or perhaps just how a court may potentially view splitting up assets.

But joint custody also makes it a bit inaccurate to say that 9 times out of 10 the woman gets custody -- women get sole custody about 72% of the time, with joint custody in about 16% of the cases. Still a disparity, but if I recall correctly it's not that dramatically different than the actual percentage of requests by guys to get all or a portion of custody of the kids.

I don't think it's really guilty until presumed innocent: I think it's guilty until demonstrated interested.

[PsyberZombie]

... is the title of a book that is highly recommended reading for men every·where

Not only do women hold all the aces when it comes to Divorce Court , but they also have out·rageous advantages in every area of Life : from the criminal justice system to the work·place to health care [ just as many men die of prostate cancer as women do from breast cancer , so where are our little ribbons and billions in Research ?? ]

Here's a small taste of the book , and bear in mind that it was written before the phrase "hostile work·place environment" turned every female co·worker in·to a little Femi·nazi who keeps her male compatriots quaking in their boots at even the thought of telling an off·color Joke let alone hanging a pin·up calender in their cubicle =


http://*******.com/6t2ly

[Long Stroker]

..the divorce equation should shift toward a more even and equitable distribution of assets. But, isn't it true that the wife gets the house in 9 out of 10 cases and custody of the kids, too? American family court will presume that the man has neither the desire nor the ability to care for his offspring by himself, unless he can under burden of proof prove otherwise. Kind of like guilty until proven innocent?

Yes, both husband and wife may toil equally to build a home and a family, but if in the end, the woman takes possession of all that really matters, where does that leave the man?

[Rubber Nursey]

I know I'm probably biased because of my own recent experience, but here's my opinion....cherish the moment, darlin'. The woman you care about, cares about you. It may be love or it may be just lust, but you'll never know if you don't give it a chance. Don't question it. Don't jinx it. And for gawd's sake, don't run away from it!!! Just enjoy it, babe. You're a lucky man.

[Chicago62]

Having been married to an American women and my first Mongering adventures to Asia in 1992. I realized 6 years into my marriage that I needed to somehow dump the *****...It took my nearly 6 years longer to grow the balls to do just that. During the time loving those asian babes. Koreans, chinese, Thai, Phillipinas. I got caught with a Korean babe. Finally I was able to get out.

Since then I have been happy chases Asian and Latina girls. I really enjoy the Asians... I will finally marry a great Chinese Babe...She's even a sales rep who makes great money... Can anyone say whoooyeah!!! Retirement....Any way stay away from American women they suck money hungry bitches who should all learn that they need to take care of their men not squeeze them for everything they have.

Chicago62

[Daddy Rulz]

I agree with PS as an American it's difficult for us to understand the depth of love latinas are capable of. Even the pro's engage in a way that American women don't. Like you I found a really wonderful women in South America and sometimes it's difficult to accept that She does love me as She says She does. Is it a forever thing? It's too soon to tell but Shes as amazing as anybody I've ever met. I understand your conundrum though, perhaps you do have loving feelings for this woman but are still unsure if it's a lifelong thing who knows. Good luck sorting it out.

[PsyberZombie]

Sounds like Mikster has finally met a Trvly Feminine Woman for the first time in his life

Go back and read Post # 2129 here to see what I mean , Mikster

[Mikster]

I am quited interested in this discussion now that I have checked out this board. Thanks Long Stroker. This doesnt necessarily pertain to American women, but I think I am in love with a Peruvian girl I met on my recent trip. I have been extremely cynical and jaded about women in recent years and to discover mongering in foreign countries has been like a godsend to me. Now I dont look at American women or make any attempt at all to even befriend them, much less date or bang them. Anyway I met this girl and she was a real sweetheart and I felt enamored very quickly. She was just so completely opposite (so I think) of anyone here in the states I had ever dated.

I have thought about the quotes I have heard here recently that love equals defeat. The other night on the phone I uttered the dreaded phrase, "I love you." She had been saying it to me repeatedly in peru and on the phone after I returned. AS soon as the words left my mouth I thought, "oh shit, now you've fucked up. Why did you say that you fucking idiot?" I felt like I had just lost all the power leverage, or power, I possessed in the relationship and handed it over to her. Now I feel like I have lost what got her to want me in the first place. The fact that I was so unattainable to her. There has been no apparent change in her attitude that I can detect. Still sweet as sugar, still asks me for nothing, pays her own english lessons and turned down my offer to help her out a little. As in, too good to be true. But now theres no going back, I cant call her and say, "hey, Im not really sure if love you or not, I was in a good mood and happy to here your voice and got carried away. Lets take it slow and see what happens." This would effectively fuck everything up.

Do most of you guys really believe that to love is to lose with the vast majority of women, or just american women? How do you feel in these matters when it comes to foreign women in third world countries such as Peru? Is there no hope anymore for loving someone and winning? Sometimes I feel that way, more often than not. I had become convinced that I would remain single forever and just find a nice girl or two to visit in other countries as often as I can, or just go and monger exclusively and forget finding a nice girl altogether.

If I sound confused and fucked up about all this its because I am. I dont know what to believe anymore or what to do when it comes to potential relationships. I always feel that no matter what I do, I am going to either make the wrong decision, or lose no matter what I do. Well, I guess thats all for now. maybe someone can straighten me out.

Later

Milkster

[Daddy Rulz]

RN are you telling us that sometimes you just want to pick up a stranger and fuck him blind and not see him again? I'm shocked! Shocked I tell you!!!

By the way Daddy lives in The Great State of Texas Hmmmmmmmm maybe I should be going to Oz?

[Joe Zop]

If we go with the equation that Long Stroker notes, which is that women in American society are earning pretty much the same as men with the same opportunities, and are working in much the same numbers, then doesn't that shift the "divorce is hell because she gets half of my shit" equation? Doesn't it really become "our shit" in a much truer sense?

Well said, RN, regarding the attraction of foreigners and the exotic.

[Sinanju Master]

holy crap! it's... like... rn peered into my head regarding the "holiday romance" thing! lolol

[Rubber Nursey]

'The World' doesn't see Americans as rich. POOR PEOPLE see Americans as rich - just as they see people from Australia and Britain and any other 'developed' country as being rich. If *I* travelled to a developing nation, I'd probably have local men falling over themselves to impress me enough to get a plane ticket to Australia. There are people in every country looking for a free meal ticket, including your own. Go down to your local 'trailor park' in an Armani suit and a BMW and you'll be beating women off with a stick! Its not because you're American - its because you can give them a way out of the hell they're living in.

And then, of course, there's gold diggers - who exist in every country and in BOTH genders. Men and women who are willing to lie, cheat and prostitute themselves in order to live a life of luxury at someone else's expense. (For the record, I can probably overlook deception from a person motivated by the desperation of poverty - I have nothing but contempt for gold diggers).

But one thing many of you seem to be forgetting when comparing 'foreign' women in their OWN country to American women, is the power of the 'holiday romance'. If I have the choice of an Aussie bloke or an American tourist for a one nighter, who am I gonna pick? The guy with the sexy accent who is leaving the country in a few days, or the ordinary guy on the street who is probably gonna ask for my phone number and hassle me for sex at a later date? The American guy is also in 'holiday mode', so he's more likely to take me out and show me a good time, PLUS he's more likely to spoil me rotten and treat me like a princess in order to get into my pants as quickly as possible, because time is not on his side. Local girls are always gonna find a tourist an attractive option for a no-strings shag.

And 'foreigners' are exotic (especially if you are a white person in a dark-skinned country or vice versa). I'm sure my Aussie accent and tanned skin would have a good degree of pulling power in other countries (certainly more than it has here, anyway!). And I, personally, love African-American men and Latin women. And I could sit and listen to an Irishman or an Eastender or a Texan cowboy all night long. A black man with a Southern drawl who can't pick up in his own country, would have a whoooole lotta luck in mine.

It's not ALL about the money, you know. Some of us just like to f*ck exotic strangers who are guaranteed to bugger off in the morning and never come back! LOL

[CBGBConnisur]

I think an American male who visits a foreign country with a lower standard of living than the US will find that his rapport with local women will be better than with women back home. The perception being that Americans are rich, what criteria makes a person "rich" varies around the world. In some parts of Europe, where there is double digit unemployment most women will be happy with a guy with a job. The more affluent the society the more they will expect. Go to a Latin American country and any American male in good health will be treated like Hugh Hefner.

The Czech girl mentioned below lives in the States so her expectations and attitude are no different than most native born American women. Go to her home country and the attitude of local women will be much different.

[Smut Villain]

Seems like women always ask that age-old question: "why are men so afraid of commitment"?

Reading the last few posts here seems to pretty much answer that question.