Lisbon

**Pedrassi** · 06-04-06 15:49

I visited Poço some days ago. And was incredibly disappointed.

Following the directions mentioned here, I passed the McDonald's Rossio and reached Praça da Figueira. Kept on walking straight until I reached some traffic lights which separate Poço from the quaint touristy zone. I realized from a glance that this was the place due to the presence of some 3/4 women standing against the wall on the other side. One was middle-aged, the others were just plain grannies. All the same, this meant I was on the right track and so continued onwards, into the heart of "Ghettoland". Sure, there were still a few tourists around, but the landscape had slowly changed to include more gangsta types and less mainstream-looking people.

When I finally reach the next intersection, I come upon a relatively short, robust-looking girl who suddenly locks her eyes into mine. I move away, but she calls back at me. I turn around, and she signals for me to come towards her. I comply, and as soon as we are within talking distance a slightly amusing conversation takes place:

Her: Queres foder?
Me: Huh?
Her: Do you speak english?
Me: Sure...
Her: Wanna fuck?
Me: uuh, well, how much?
Her: 25
Me: Well, thanks for the offer, but I have some other rather pressing things to do. What's your nationality btw?
Her: I'm Romanian.

It's not that she was particularly ugly (though she wasn't particularly pretty either), and had I been in the right disposition (I. E. Somewhat horny and desperate) I might just have taken her offer. But I hadn't gone to Poço that sunny afternoon with the intention of getting laid. I'd gone for a session of voyeuristic pleasure and to get an idea of how the ladies were like.

I continued my path around the block, where another three girls tried the same trick of locking eyes with me. They seemed to leave all the other people around alone, which made me wonder whether if I was their preferred kind of prey. Perhaps I just looked displaced in that troubled area.

While passing through the residencia I see a blonde girl coming out, her cheeks blazed pink and a really creepy-looking guy right beside her. Made me think better about the inconveniences of such a low market price; how even drug-addicts can satiate their occasional sexual urges in this place.

I eventually move back to the Rossio metro station stairs, a tad disillusioned with the spectacle seen moments earlier. But then a pleasant surprise seemed to arise: a girl was standing next to the metro stairs, speaking on her mobile in a foreign language that seemed to be romanian. And this one looked quite fuckable, to put it brusquely. So I decided to wait until she finished her phone call, trying to look as unsuspicious as possible to all the passing public. When she finally puts it down, she heads off down the stairs to the metro. I was most surprised by this development, but decided to follow her to see what she would do. She headed off to the Telheiras line, so I gave up.

Which made me wonder: perhaps she was just a tourist who I'd mistaken for a *****? Good job I decided not to approach her directly then.

Anyhow, despite the Poço fiasco I continue to be very thankful for the presence of readily available commercial sex. I reckon that it would be more morally despicable to bring a youth, in what's supposed to be the auge of his sexuality, into a period of forced abstinence, than to allow young girls to sell their sexual services.

Which is why there's a case to be made for States to subsidise prostitution and not repress it. Think of the spiritual happiness and general welfare that could spread from such actions. Of course, that will never happen, such is the twisted nature of the World we live in. Some say prostitution is a perverse, cruel industry. Well it is nothing more than a reflection of the perverse, cruel society that sustains it.

Enough philosophising for now.

**Murilloa** · 06-04-06 13:31

‘thou rascal beadle, hold thy bloody hand!
why dost thou lash that whure? strip thy own back;
thou hotly lusts to use her in that kind
for which thou whip’st her.’ (‘king lear’ iv, vi 157-60)

the ‘beadle’ was the parish policeman. he was in the poço yesterday. fortunately murilloa had already taken his pleasure. there's a fresh bouquet of romanians in town, but katerina, aka irina3, was not on view at first, so a bright-eyed slim gypsyish girl with a lovely bum-length glossy black ponytail was taken upstairs. yuliana by name, she was a good substitute. mur had spotted her on a late night visit a week earlier with a distinguished visiting monger; but on that occasion she was on her way home, so the gentlemen extravagantly taxied all the way from praça figueira to the yellow house (report later).

after yuliana, mur hung around playing with his phone camera. irina3 was back on the beat and he wanted to snatch a picture of her to publish for peaceful. a dangerous game, perhaps, wielding a camera round here, but what is life without a piquant little dash of fear?

mur was keeping a watchful eye out for pimpodaddies, when suddenly the romanian sweeties rep001tered in all directions. law enforcement, the modern beadle, had entered our urban eden. mur pocketed the phone and retired discreetly. but on the way he saw the brave custodians of law and order catch one of the chicas and lead her to their van.

what happens to the girls when they are taken away? well, according to irina1, who discussed this with mur in pidgin spanish two years ago, they just hold them at the station for hours and hours, check such documents as they may have, and release them late at night. we live in the civilised 21st century, so there’s none of that whipping which a garota could expect if caught on blackfriars stairs blowing william shakespeare. irina1 said the coppers don’t even take advantage by demanding a freebie. they just deprive the ladies of a few hours of liberty and work.

why? here’s an averagely grubby street with a fair hotel, two acceptable bars, a neat chinese supermarket and a basic pensão where nice young women from a poor country earn money by pleasuring sad old fucks like you and muri. sure, there are pimpodaddies around to see that no asshole mistreats the girls and that no dickhead takes pictures of them. probably the guys also take beer money off them, but there is no way these cheerful cuties are trafficked exploited slaves. they are here for a working holiday, and bring nothing but joy to our ancient corner of europe. unlike intendente, up the road, there are no drugs or weirdoes in the poço, unless you count muri’s alcoholism and sex-mania. non-monger tourists wander through or trundle by in the quaint old trams without any fear or frisson.

as taxpaying monger mur feels aggrieved, like old boy lear quoted above.

well, at least if you work in portugal, rather than mr blair’s island of the insane, you know that your taxes are not going to fuck up any iraquis… but mur wishes the beadle would take his lash to some real criminals instead of these precious eastern charmers.

pathetic photographs give evidence in the appropriate section.

**Kama Leão** · 06-04-06 04:26

Originally Posted by Murilloa

Never can he remember being disappointed at this end of the market: the €100 always feels well invested.

Not always, Muri. And I'm not thinking of the PP babes. In every single one of those you mention (maybe with the one exception of Classic Ladies but I haven't been there for quite a while) there are wonderful AND disastrous experiences waiting for you.
But you're a kind and merciful heart...

Originally Posted by Murilloa

the next definitive offering will engage the Portal Privado phenomenon and return to that age old theme, Brasileiras.

And the Apartado X which is quite similar. Even if both do not display only Brazilian babes. And the ones they feature come in prices that range from 50€ to 150€.

Just for Monger's History sake: the one and only real Lisbon sauna in Brokeback Mountain-free territory used to be in Rua da Glória (the first street on your right when you walk up Calçada da Glória, the one with the yellow escalator from Restauradores to Bairro Alto). It was quite spacious, with a large reception hall, several (really comfortable) round bathtubs in equally large cabinets along a huge corridor, and a heavenly staff of courtesans whose only goal was to make you leave the premises walking on fluffy cotton clouds.
I swoon as I write and the mind wanders towards the memories of Marilyn-lookalike Beta (Mary Magdalen be praised!... how we swam in pools of perspiration, foam, vapour and saliva!...), sex athlete, Louise Brooks twin sister and BJ-queen Paula, and...

Sadly deceased in the early 90s.

**Murilloa** · 06-03-06 15:02

Zé, that is fuckin' incredible. Nobel prize for you, lad.

**Zé Duron** · 06-03-06 14:32

http://www.lisboaescort.net/
http://www.segredos-luxo.com/
http://www.convivio-portugal.com/
http://www.coelhinhas-sexys.com/
http://www.compraouvenda.com/
http://www.cluberelax.net/
http://www.clinicadoprazer.com/
http://www.casarao.icom.pt/
http://www.belledejour.web.pt/
http://www.apartadox.com/
http://www.globosexual.com/pagina.htm
http://www.acompanhanteslux.com/inde...k=GrandeLisboa
http://www.desejos.net/brn.htm
http://www.iroticus.net/index1.html
http://kamagirls.com/
http://www.gizelle-escorts.com/
http://www.relaxclub.cjb.net/
http://www.gostosaemprivado.net/girls.htm
http://www.goldensecret.net/port/anu...l?pag=5&ini=0#
http://www.glamourescortsclub.com/
http://www.escort-pt.com/Galery.htm
http://www.escortportugal.com/
http://www.encontrosecreto.com/
http://paula19brasil.no.sapo.pt/
http://panterasklub.********.com/
http://www.dirintimo.com/sector.asp?...Femininas&pg=3
http://www.zonaquente.net/Mosaico.shtm
http://www.massagens.net
http://www.escortportugal.com
http://www.loukuras.com/modelos.asp
http://lady18.escortwww.com/
http://www.mulheres-que-vc.com/
http://www.elitelx.com/
http://www.topgirlsclube.com/
http://www.sexyin.com/classified.php...=3&subcatid=15
http://www.piriguetis.com/pagina2.htm
http://www.privatesin.com/anunciantes.asp
http://www.portaldodesejo.com/feminino.html
http://www.paginanet.net/up/portalparadise/main.html
http://www.portal-intimo.com/index.php?content=homepage
http://www.portalprivado.com
www.apartadox.com
www.acompanhanteslux.com

have fun searching around...

**Murilloa** · 06-03-06 13:25

At last, a few moments to continue the guide. ‘Saunas’ isn’t the correct word for these establishments. Few if any of them offer a steamy wooden cabin. Mur likes a genuine sauna, but his information, perhaps incorrect, is that Lisbon clubs with real saunas are Brokeback Mountain territory. It would be good to know where to enjoy a sauna without the attentions of fraternal cowboys: Muri wishes them no harm, but has no plans to get himself saddle sore.

Back to topic: rather than saunas, these are upmarket apartments. Some, like Mirage Klub, pose as spas or health clubs, with gleaming showers and jacuzzis, adjustable massage beds, piles of white towels, reception counters and cabinets stocked with gels and ointments, a style accurately described by one correspondent as ‘Whaddya Mean, *****house? Can't You See the Serious Spa Equipment and Beauty Product Posters?’

As well as comfort and hygiene, you are guaranteed first class ‘Beauty Products’ here, not the kind that come in jars and tubes but the ones in little high-heeled sandals and slinky see-through mini-dresses. Very seldom do these joints offer anything other than appetising, clean, well-presented ladies.

Sometimes you get a €25 to €50 bargain in Parede or Moscavide or wherever, and you think, “why isn’t this babe further up market?” but it doesn’t work the other way around, you will never go to Mirage or Adonis and think, “this dog should be down in the Poço fucking cheapskate bums like Mur”.

The guarantee comes at a price, of course. €80 for half an hour and €100 for a full two-blast sixty minutes is the standard at these classy places As a bewitching courtesan once said to Mur, clutching five blue twenties and admiring herself in the mirror, “a qualidade paga-se”.

She was right. Mur delves into the squalid depths of his memories of three years in lovely Lisboa. A long procession of putinhas. Never can he remember being disappointed at this end of the market: the €100 always feels well invested. Not by any means the case with the Portal Privado babes who charge the same or more: but they will be the subjects of a separate chapter, if the Good Lord spares Muri to carry on his mission to mongers.

If you are a stranger to Lusitania’s hospitable shores, eager to escape a hectic business routine or a frenetic family holiday, then these establishments, all in the central business district, are the top recommendation. Note that they do not publish in the online CM, but appear in box ads in the print edition – another little sign that the establishment sees itself as upmarket. Here is a list, probably far from comprehensive, and strictly in alphabetical order - it’s over to you, gentlemen, for the onerous task of researching and ranking them in order of quality.

Asistentes em Lingerie, www.elitelx.com 965256369
Atrio Saldanha Club, 967988917
Barbies Saldanha, 962652524
Classic Ladies, 968 972 093
Clínica de Massagem 919471262 www.clinicadoprazer.net Av. Marques de Tomar, 5, 1
Executive Club 967236270
Gizelle Club www.gizelle-escorts.com
Le Château, ex Adonis www.lechateau23.com936617363
Michelle e Assistentes 963904565
MirageKlub 912 650 077 (this number would be tattooed on Muri’s dick, except that, well, it's quite a long number)
New Center 919474194 Avenida Marques de Tomar, 33, 5º
PlayGirls 913229706
Rosebelle 919405108

As you see, several have web sites - these have proliferated, and Lisbon entrepreneurs almost rival Buenos Aires colleagues with their deft use of PhotoShop and their ability to persuade one girl to display under a different ‘nom de guerre’ on two or more sites. It will be difficult to attempt a list or a resumé of these sites, but as readers know, Mur will try most anything, so perhaps soon… but the next definitive offering will engage the Portal Privado phenomenon and return to that age old theme, Brasileiras.

**Kama Leão** · 05-28-06 01:41