Pattaya Reports

[That Asshole]

Pattaya 2008 - Confidential! (for sex-tourist only)

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Contents of this report:

- Travel from Khorat
- Pattaya gogobars
- Pattaya soapie
- general
- Pattaya "aids" business

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1. Bus from Khorat

VIP Buses from Khorat's new bus station to Pattaya run at 10.30, 12, 12.30. Five hours trip, 310B. Arriving at 11.30 bought the ticket first then went to eat something. Giving it sufficient time, returned at 10 past 12, just to see one bus pulling out. I figured it's the 12 o'clock one. But asked the attendant anyway. He got excited and says it's actually my bus, the 12.30 service. Once full, the bus leaves. I waved my ticket, asking so where is my seat? They stopped the bus, moved one kid to sit in grandma's lap and I got the seat. The kid was like a monkey, trying to jump all over the place during most of the trip.

Huge head, like a watermelon, kind of retarded face. Drooling saliva and sometimes vomiting. When not jumping then taking half of my seat. That 5 hours passed very slowly this time. But the 2 movies they screened were okay. This bus arrives in Pattaya at Chalermprakiat street, near Pattaya Klang.

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2. Pattaya - first day

*** Sausage-show ***

People watching is totally great! Huge fun and entertaining. Like a big monkey show all day. But this is a pathetic town, not quite as rotten as Bangkok but still comes second worst in Thailand. Sex-wise too. About as hard to get laid as in Afganistan. Because of the religion of course. The official religion of Pattaya is "Woman-Worship". Who ever does not comply is in trouble and does not fuck easily. Luckily I did bring Rubber Ruby my "pinkey artificial rubber vagina" and had some great sessions in the toilets of gogo bars after the naked dancing shows. The fuck was free as I actually own this vagina. I bought it for 30 Euros in Amsterdam 5 years ago. If you want free root, this is recommended.

The first day I wandered around but could not sex any woman. Totally hopeless. But the sex-shows were quite good as mentioned. Lots of spa and bath-tub foam, shower shows, pussy eating, beer-bottle fucking, like it was in Bangkok 10 years ago. First time in my life I actually saw a real "sausage show"! Everyone should see one! Shame that the girl doing it was very ugly.

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*** Jewellery show ***

In one night I kissed with 2 naked women (20&22yo). Quite good looking too. One had small tits and the other one big. Tipped them 20B each (60cents) each. I nearly paid barfine for one. But luckily thought about it first: 600B bar, 1500girl ST, 400 room, 200 drinks. Total 2700B ($80). The women were okay but the amount not sexy at all. So I quickly left. But had a good grope of their tits first. Great firm flesh. Not stinky at all.

I tried soi Yoksad (soi6) the short-time street too. Old woman walking around, trying to sell cheap jewellery. I bought one for a hooker girl for 30B. She says "thankyoo". We go inside bar. Then I say "Me nowanna drink but only wanna fuck". She says: 1000B. I tried to reason that usually the price is 500B around here but no avail. Plus I have good heart because bought that rotten plastic earring for her already. No use, no discount. She no good heart, I could feel. So I left and cried. How evil they can be to poor, retarded, disadvantaged farang.

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*** Dog show ***

Tried another at the beach. Everything is back to normal, lots of hookers all the way. This quite pretty one was feeding a dog. I said "How nice dog. Wanna root?" She asks the dog "wanna root?". I say not the dog but her. She says she not wanna. So I walked on and sobbed in my tissues again. How rude them hookers around here.

At all the beerbars on soi 7 and 8 only the uglies enquired "where you come from?" All beauties pulled away. One said to the others: "Look the idiot is here again. The one that wanked at the bar last time. Let's run!" They all laughed and I just wept, huge teardrops pouring down my hairy belly. Yes, people here are evil and discriminating against us. I will leave this town.

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3./ Pattaya - second day

As last resort, I tried the well proven Ab Op Nuod (Soapie), in North Pattaya. (If you want to know more about "Ab Op Nuod" there is a detailed description at Bangkok/Massage Parlors, posted Jan9, 2008. It tells all about the service and details.)

*** Hot chillie show ***

The had lots of young beauties indeed. I choose a real young and hot looking one, just 19 or 20 years. Possibly youngest in whole Pattaya nowadays. My girl vearing some simple blue dress, very friendly and smiley. Braces on teeth like a schoolgirl. Very sexy, good smelling, fresh and keen to serve. The usual soapie treatment, except that I still had the broken dick (as explained in Laos posting). She wondered how we gonna do the bathing. No problems, I poured the remains of the Som Tam papaya salad in the garbage, pulling the plastic bag over my broken willy. Fastening with a rubber band. He was happily floating on the water's surface while we playing with the young cat in the bath tube. Because of the dick she did not do the body-rub this time so we just moved on to the large bed. Me experiencing some strange sensation.

*** Pleasure and pain show ***

Occuring to me that maybe should have washed out that bag properly. As the salad was a rather spicey variety, about 6 or 7 chillies in it. Ouch, ouch, I was running back to the water, attempting to cool it down. Rather hopelessly. I was in pain while she sucking my tool through the rubber. But there is a very fine line between pleasure and pain so in fact my poor spiced sausage got extremely aroused and ready for some real action. The fuck that followed was totally awesome from my side, with 6 chilly power level. She screamed rather authentically but I could sense the theatrical play. Nevertheless the girl was extremely fresh, pretty, slim and beautiful. Compared to the gogobar prices (as above) she was a real bargain for 1600B ($50).

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Pattaya last day

*** The "aids" show ***

Tried to quickly get out of this evil town. Sex is difficult here and they don't respect people. Ready packed to go when some farang men said that they were raising funds for the Pattaya "aids-orphan" children. Do I want to contribute. I know these people and know that they are genuine, they send the monies where it is supposed to go. But still, there is no "aids". It is a commercial hoax and nothing else.

*** The "do-good" show ***

So, I enquired to them : excuse me but what is this about the "aids-orphans"? They could not explain. Just kept repeating: "you know, aids kills, blablabla". So, I of course did not give. It would just go to the doctors and poison "medicines" anyway. I my humble opinion this world is seriously fucked. No-one knows nothing. But believes everything they hear. "Aids" is the business of the charitable people too. They want to have it so they can do "good". That's why it won't go away. Everyone wants it. Some want the money. Others want the "good feeling". It is a perfect business, pleasing everyone. Only those "aids-orphans" are poor, the do-gooders and doctors killing them with medical poisons for the sake of "love", of course.

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End Pattaya 2008 / Part one

EDITOR'S NOTE: I would suggest that the author or another Forum Member consider posting a link to this report in the Reports of Distinction thread. Please Click Here for more information.

[Montrealer2]

Hi Gentlemen,

I will be travelling to LOS for the 1st time. I am staying 4 weeks, travelling everywhere.

I will spend some time in Pattaya, BKK and Phuket. I was wondering if you could give me some advice. Some of my questions may sound silly...

1) GENERAL QUESTION: where can one find the hottest & best-looking working Thai girls at reasonable prices? BKK, Pattaya, Samui or Phuket?

2. GENERAL QUESTION: where is the best places to get these girls? go-go bars, massage parlors or freelancers on the street? (could you name some actual places and locations that are sure-shots)

3. SPECIFIC QUESTIONS: would you mind telling me which are your top 5 hotels to stay at in terms of price, comfort and girl-friendliness?; where even the staff is available for ST/LT...? (for Pattaya, Phuket and BKK)

I am just trying to get myself veered in the right direction. I want to be as efficient as possible.

Also, I have a fetish for nylons, pantyhose and uniforms (schoolgirl, air stewardess, nurse, maid, etc...). I am aware that there are supposedly bars that cater to these types of places. Would you know of any in Pattaya, BKK and Phuket?

Thank you so much, and I await your answers with impatience.

M2

[Fast Eddie 48]

Gentlemen,

Can you give me any idea what the rain situation is usually like say at mid to late May? Is that a time of the year it usually rains all day hard or just a passing quick shower? Do the sois usually get flooded at that time of year?

Thanks

Mono,

May is not the wettest month I was in bangkok in mid may last yr for a week ,it only rain 2 days at night but it was hot during the day july to oct is the wettest month , may is a slow month with cheap hotel rate and many girl to pick from the bar .

Fast eddie 48

[Petemcc]

Sorry chaps. Having read my report I can see it was full of typos and there are a few omissions, and as it was written for a different forum, it may seem a bit confusing, so sorry for those who found it hard going.
Pete

[Nortelx]

Lemon Tree,

For what it is worth I am a native English speaker and even I had some trouble stumbling over a few of Petemcc's prose. Aussie "English" is like that sometimes.

Don't let it bother you.

Petemcc,

I enjoyed your report even with the LB part. Everybody has their thing and it was all part of your trip. Honest reporting to say the least.

[Richo Stevens]

Cheers mate, Pete

Yap, must say; it was fucking great - in all aspects :-)

[It Travel]

Like others have said - the major problem with Penthouse is the "visitors" - the 6 legged ones (that and the possible musty odor and perhaps a bit of mold.) If you are "OK" with Mockva prices, you will be in HEAVEN in Muangthai. (COST - it's a major reason I stopped going to Russia, although I can't get some of the things I particularly like in Thailand, but take the good with the bad...) Secrets is actually a better hotel, but they don't have the multi-mirrored booms and boom-boom chairs etc. If you stay in the "better rooms" (suites, etc) in Penthouse you might have a better room, but try to stay up on the upper floors if you have an outside room or the noise will prevent a lot of sleep (or take ear plugs)

I T ' S L O U D!! with the bars so close (I can't hear you over the noise WHAT DID YOU SAY??)

<smile> just don't go running up the prices for all of us other "poor" folks. Go-go bars have some very appealing talent, but the starfish "problem" is pervasive. Believe it or not, some better performance can be obtained from BEER BAR ladies. and the strassenlaufern are good on beach depending on time of day

Read the info about riding the BAHT BUSES (covered pick-up trucks) to keep your transport costs to a minimum (10B per ride up to Big C and back - each way)

enjoy your trip - I always do.

I understand your Russia problem, so I switched over to Kiev... generally 50% less and I still found thos white teen blondinkas i love!

Coming to LBFM (little Brown Fucking Machines), whats really LT... most of my fucking is done (with my blondinkas) between 7 and 12 am... so??

I feel that anal si not so wide spread and a nice anal fuck ending with a good BBBJ + CIM or COF is still the best sex i know! I think I have to contact mamasan for avaliable ladies...?

IT


PS I red in some correspondence or somewhere there is a bar where the girls soing anal are on a side the "normal" ones on another... is it still true?

[It Travel]

I have never had two girls in Thailand at the same time so I can't speak on cum sharing. As far as pros, I have never had a problem with BBBJ or COF. Never tried CIM. Any time I have asked a pro about anal they always tell me to go get lady boy for that. I have also never done anal with a Thai non-pro. I have never been asked for an extra tip for fotos...and the non-pros that I know don't mind as well!

On ground I'm an anal enthusuast and an enthusuast of having several girls... I think I'll have to firnd (as written) the right mamasan!

the pity is that LBFM are perfect bodied fore heavy anal fucking... with a small group COF...

I'm tinhinking on three girls on ground I want to see a real nice and heavy lesbian action on a bed, naturally I'll get rock hard and I nide a cutie who "speaks" to my best friend while I'm so excited...

IT

[It Travel]

When you have 2 girls, they will change condoms as they switch. So don't expect cum sharing. They might, however, if you give them loads of money.

Anal, some do but most won't (in my experience).

I have no idea what 'holees' (sic) mean. You should give extra for photo session. But respect their wishes, if they object.

So I think that I have to ask clearly the mamasan for what I want... At least BBBJ and CIM or COF....

Sorry I wrote wrong I was meaning nine holes... three girls = nine holes! I have to "travel" some before deciding where to cum! (usualli in mouth, because it's withouth condom! I hate to cum in condoms!)...

IT

[Lemon Tree]

Well, it seems to be hard for me to improve my colloquial English. The only one, who could do it, is already dead since 1994.
Herr Heinrich Karl Bukowski, for “ fucking intellectual English readers “ better known as Mr. Charles Bukowski wrote nearly in the same style. Nearly.
So who could teach me? The author of the report? Hard to believe that. If I internalise his drinking habits, I would have forgotten the next day, what “fucken words” he taught me.
Or otherwise I confound all the things, drink that kamagra gel out of the decent fucken American Durex Performax condoms, get a stiff neck and wonder the next day, that this fucked my brain out and I understood only ting tong.
Well, Mr. Petemcc, to each his own.
I only wrote, that it was hard for me to understand this text. And I hope I can survive, if I don’t try to improve my colloquial English.
But of course I will read your interesting reports in the future again. Hope it will become easier and better for me every time.

All the best for you

Lemon Tree

[Petemcc]

Lemon, good advice:
1) Improve your English.
2)Improve your colloquial English.
3)Only read posts by Giotto and his pals.

I agree!
Fuck is a remarkable word. There was actually an article in New Scientist last month about swearing and how useful it is etc, and one thing it posted out was the word fuck being used to create new words, like infuckingcredible!

Sorry mate if my writing style is hard to understand, but it's the way I do it.
I do however hope you got something from it.
Cheers
Pete

[Giotto]

...
3)Only read posts by Giotto and his pals.

Terry Terrier,

LOL. Peace!

Petemcc's report is an excellent and funny read - and if you had not linked it to the reports of distinction I had done that today .

Petemcc, thanks, great report!


Giotto

[Monopoly]

Gentlemen,

Can you give me any idea what the rain situation is usually like say at mid to late May? Is that a time of the year it usually rains all day hard or just a passing quick shower? Do the sois usually get flooded at that time of year?

Thanks

[Tazzy Devil]

Good read.

Can you tell me where Shooters is?

Name rings a bell but cannot think of where it is.

Was "Lennies" situated in Soi Diamond off Walking Street,
has a realy good range of local & imported beers

[Deejay3]

Wow What a report! Funny or what?