Jakarta

[Mighty Spearsman]

You are just so charming I can imagine why that women wanted you as a role model! Likewise I can understand why you backed out - but I think this is a situation where Pak Menteng might be prepared to "help out" - getting her another "role model" would de-risk the situation for you I think.

When is a freebie not worth it?

No, this story is NOT about a woman who weighs over 120 kg. But since there have been several posts recently about finding freebies on AFF, I thought it useful to share this story:

A few weeks ago I was in Kota one weekday on business. Around 4:15 p.m. I walked over to the Transjakarta bus line at Kota to take the bus to Plaza Indonesia.

Walking in front of me to the ticket line and waiting line was an attractive, professionally dressed dark-skinned Indonesian woman in her late 30s, medium build, long black hair, wearing a jacket over a silk shirt buttoned up to her neck, a skirt to just below her knees and work pumps heels (i.e. not the stiletto heels that many hookers wear), but it was obvious that she had great legs and a good figure.

We struck up a conversation while waiting in line, friendly and polite, and I learned that she was a sales manager for a large insurance company, and that she was returning to her office after having met with a client.

Walked onto the bus and sat down towards the front, and to my surprise she sat down next to me and continued to talk, very friendly; she gave me her card and asked me for my cell phone number just before I got off the bus. Five minutes later I received a short sms from her, saying that she enjoyed talking with me and wanted to meet me again for a drink. I replied fine, let me know when you are free. Two days later, she sms'd me again, proposing that we meet at Chili's (Sarinah Plaza) for drinks the following afternoon.

Met up at Chili's at 4 p.m. the next day and, after some small talk about the weather and traffic, she got straight to the point she was married with a nine-year-old son, but that the marriage had collapsed, she and her husband were living together only for the sake of their son, she no longer had sex with her husband, and that she was looking for someone to have fun sex with, namely me. Sounded good to me, and I started to look forward to our first session together.

Then the kicker. After saying lots of nice things about me as a way of explaining why she had picked me for this opportunity, she blurted out I think you're just wonderful. I've already told my nine-year-old son about you and I want you to meet him soon and be a role model for him.

Oops! The last thing I need is to get involved in a potential marriage-wrecking situation, nor do I need or want to be a surrogate father to someone else's kid. Luckily my cell phone beeped a minute later with an sms from a friend, I read it and, pretending that it was from my office, said sorry, I have to get back to my office right away to send a fax to the U.S. before closing time, left money to pay for the drinks and got up and left.

I then sent an sms to her later explaining that I was real busy at work and wouldn't be able to see her anytime soon. She then sent a couple of sms's over the next week saying hello and which I ignored, then I've never heard from her again.

Normally I would not clog up the board with a quote from August 4, 2007 but after reading the recent posts about older women, I thought I'd re-quote what I wrote back then, plus Bulai69's kind reply to me. I'm pretty sure Menteng did not follow up since he was out of the country at that time, however.

[Goferring]

And if she decides she does like you and has already sized you up as the guy who will be paying her kids' private school fees, woe betide anyone who tries to stand in her way, if she is wealthy or well-connected you might find your options suddenly narrowing very rapidly if you want to stay in the country.

Hahah. Very true. These are not girls to be trifled with. I know a guy who married a similar lady. Lovely women if you were on her good side. Fearsome if you were not. He got caught in bed with the maid. I'll let you decide how that ended up for him!!

Enjoy. G.

[Hilo77]

Of course, there are scams a plenty and if it sounds too good to be true then it likely is. But, and it's a big but, any Asian woman over the age of 28 is considered left on the shelf by society and often herself. Doubly so if she is divorced with a kid or two.

It's not a market I partake in but many report adding a couple of decades to the usually 19 yo air head gets a self funded, intelligent and, still very attractive woman. Oh and she WILL find the best ways to say thanks.

Enjoy. G.

You make a very good point, and if you are looking for a decent, long-term or even medium-term relationship such women can be very rewarding. But for the quick one-off, get it done and walk away sort of relationship most of us want (we wouldn't be on this site otherwise) the "sosialita" is not really an option.

First off they have been around the course a few times, you can't bullshit them like you can a 19 yo waitress just up from Sukabumi and getting used to life amid the bright lights and big city. They know the ropes and they've heard our fascinating stories of life overseas a hundred times before. A lot of them will be educated and have lived overseas themselves, indeed many of them will have visited more countries than we will.

Second, where are you going to take them? You can't take them to your hole-and-the-wall joints where you can get them warmed up on Long Island ice teas and listening to the bar band doing their bad cover version of "Honky Tonk Woman" at full volume and expect them to be impressed. You have to go to nice restaurants and visit the sort of things they want to see like art exhibitions or book launches. Shit, if I want to take a woman in her late thirties to places like those I can just bring my missus and save all the hassle. That's another issue, if you're married the chances are that unlike the 19 yo airhead, the sosialita and your wife move in the same circles, sooner or later, and probably sooner you're going to connect.

Third, for all their supposed insouciance about sex, the older or divorced woman is often (as you suggested) deeply insecure, even if she has a successful career. She knows she's getting the last chance at the game, her open-minded and uninhibited attitude to sex and her willingness to sleep around is not a sign of her relaxed, enlightened thinking but very often a mask for her desperation. And if she decides she does like you and has already sized you up as the guy who will be paying her kids' private school fees, woe betide anyone who tries to stand in her way, if she is wealthy or well-connected you might find your options suddenly narrowing very rapidly if you want to stay in the country.

I prefer a blowjob in the back of my car in a mall parking lot from a cute supermarket cashier coming off her shift and willing to earn some pocket money before she goes home or checking into a motel in Cempaka Putih with a twenty-something jilbab-wearing elementary schoolteacher looking to learn what all the fuss is about from some nice foreign guy who won't be naming and shaming her on Facebook the next day. Life's a lot easier when you keep it simple.

[Goferring]

You know what would be funny? If they were for real.

There's dozens of fabulously wealthy, smart, well turned-out, independent, entrepreneurial women living the high life up there in Hong Kong, desperate to have sex with middle-aged, beer-bellied, white Joe Schmoes like us and being hurt and disappointed when we keep giving them the kiss-off. Maybe that's what makes them so desperate and makes us so attractive, we're the only men who have ever rejected their advances, who have ever said no to them, we are their forbidden fruit!

Meanwhile, we shuffle along in our old shabby way, picking up bargirls and sad single moms for a quick screw in some cheap kos-kosan while patting ourselves on the back about how there's no flies on us, no siree, you won't catch us out.

Now that, gentlemen, would be funny.

Of course, there are scams a plenty and if it sounds too good to be true then it likely is. But, and it's a big but, any Asian woman over the age of 28 is considered left on the shelf by society and often herself. Doubly so if she is divorced with a kid or two.

It's not a market I partake in but many report adding a couple of decades to the usually 19 yo air head gets a self funded, intelligent and, still very attractive woman. Oh and she WILL find the best ways to say thanks.

Enjoy. G.

[Hilo77]

I grew weary of the convos after a while, not to mention the time difference in communicating. I kept waiting for the hustle though it never came. So wondering like you what this is about.

You know what would be funny? If they were for real.

There's dozens of fabulously wealthy, smart, well turned-out, independent, entrepreneurial women living the high life up there in Hong Kong, desperate to have sex with middle-aged, beer-bellied, white Joe Schmoes like us and being hurt and disappointed when we keep giving them the kiss-off. Maybe that's what makes them so desperate and makes us so attractive, we're the only men who have ever rejected their advances, who have ever said no to them, we are their forbidden fruit!

Meanwhile, we shuffle along in our old shabby way, picking up bargirls and sad single moms for a quick screw in some cheap kos-kosan while patting ourselves on the back about how there's no flies on us, no siree, you won't catch us out.

Now that, gentlemen, would be funny.

[Hung Man 1808]

As soon as I get one of these girls with photos of Ferraris, luxury homes, jewellery etc (and not one of them enjoying these) it usually means one thing. Forex trading invites.

If it isn't that, it is gold, or bitcoin.

Always, no matter how long it takes them to get around to it.

Just had one banging on about her winery in China. How many barrels do you produce? "Hundreds of millions". Wow biggest winery in the world. But only trade in China, so no one else knows about it. All closed by Covid, but fortunately her forex trading for a day (with indecipherable figures with no labels) covers the losses!

They'll be selling bridges in Brooklyn to you soon. Unlimited supply!

[Tomasb]

I have a similar story regarding Tinder and HongKong, albeit with different nationalities involved, but somewhat the same tale. I live in the US and when I see an Asian looking woman between 18-40 in Tinder where it says she lives relatively close by, I swipe right. A good percentage of the time they then match with me.

However, the three times it has happened, it turns out they actually live in either HongKong or Shenzhen, the Chinese border city to the north. One gal claimed to live in an upscale beach area in Hong Kong that has million dollar condo's, another lived in Shenzhen and said she owned an upscale men's clothing line with a partner and sent me photos of various high end suits. Another also lived in Shenzhen and was in finance of some sort. They all claimed to be living or traveling in the US visiting relatives or for business until Covid19 called them home, hence the reason Tinder indicated they were close to my home.

Given the distance involved and the fact neither of us can travel to our respective destinations, I grew weary of the convos after a while, not to mention the time difference in communicating. I kept waiting for the hustle though it never came. So wondering like you what this is about.

Also, I received a Tinder match from an attractive Japanese woman living in Tokyo. Her posts were a bit more interesting as she sent me photos of a recent ski trip to northern Japan and some interesting pics of Tokyo. She also claimed to be in Chicago until she had to return in March. Again, I can't travel to Tokyo until the Covid restrictions are lifted though I suppose it's always nice to know someone who speaks and reads English in Tokyo.

So is this just some oddball Asian thing or what?

Sounds like they're trying to scam you to be their long term sponsor. The higher end they carry on, the more you're supposed to entertain them at that level if you go out on a date. It sure does work out better than them telling you that they're a Indonesian housekeeper for some Hong Kong lady and lives at the employer's flat.

[Smoothy]

Below is a small section of the "wine merchant's" conversation indicating she might not have been who she said she was.

I can't even remember the last time I spoke with an Indo girl who knew that much English.

[BenderOver]

I have come across a type of Tinder contact who are obviously scam artists but as I have neither the patience nor the inclination to see it through I don't know what their angle is.

The first one claimed to be an Indonesian woman living in Hong Kong, and living the high life. Personal details were very sketchy but she would WA me pictures of her top-of-the-range Mercedes or the fine jewellery she was wearing that night. I wasn't particularly interested as I am more of a low (very low) hanging fruit kinda guy, pembantus and karaoke hostesses rather than society hostesses being my field of operations, I get the same result for one thousandth of the cost.

Anyway, every morning I would get a new picture of her high life, with a brief description of what she had done the previous day, but nothing in the way of normal human chit-chat. Then one day she sent me a picture of a beautifully set out and elaborate Chinese fish dish that her "maid had cooked her for lunch". Well her maid must be a five-star chef I thought, so I confirmed whether she was actually in a restaurant, no she assured me this was her dining room and her maid had brought her lunch. I then noticed something in the corner of the pic, "So why does your maid bring you a receipt along with your lunch? Conversation ended after that. No big deal, a pointless show-off trying to impress a stranger, I forgot about it.

Now I find myself in a conversation with another Indonesian woman, trapped by visa regulations in Hong Kong. And she obviously has a great career, she showed me a picture of the nice boat she was going out in a spin around the bay. I asked her, not with any great interest, how her trip was. She replied the next morning, apologising for being tired after her trip saying it was fun. The next morning she sends me pictures of two watches, one a Rolex, one an AP, which should she pick? Eenie-meenie I thought and picked one, "ooh" she replies (next morning) "that's the one I like too", and proceeded to ask me about my watch collection. Next morning a picture of her in her bathroom mirror at home, hmmmm, I have seen a few hotel bathrooms before and I know what they look like, besides the four miniature soap bottles in the shower are a bit of a give-away.

So what's the angle? They are pretending to be extremely wealthy independent women, living the high life. The scam is a bit poorly run depending as it does on photos culled from the internet and the messages are only sent in the morning. Like I say I haven't the inclination to follow it through but no doubt it involves bank account details and cash transfers but to be honest the speed at which they operate it could be months before the sting emerges. Anyone been here before? Is there a way I can have fun in return?

Sounds like they're trying to scam you to be their long term sponsor. The higher end they carry on, the more you're supposed to entertain them at that level if you go out on a date. It sure does work out better than them telling you that they're a Indonesian housekeeper for some Hong Kong lady and lives at the employer's flat.

[TripleX]

Thanks, but I guess I was more wondering if there are any find establishments open that I could visit. Not really wanting to bring anything to my apartment.

Many if not most of the Twitter girls work out of an apartment so you can see them at their apartment not yours.

[Hilo77]

Thanks, but I guess I was more wondering if there are any find establishments open that I could visit. Not really wanting to bring anything to my apartment.

Then get on to Agoda or Traveloka and book a hotel room in South Jakarta, you can get a decent enough room for less than $30 in a three- or four-star hotel. Check in at 2 pm, the room is now yours for the next 24 hours. Get on Tinder or Twitter as suggested below, you can easily line up dates starting from mid-afternoon until the wee hours of the following morning. Shower, check out and return to your apartment the next day as pure as the driven snow in the eyes of your neighbours.

In answer to your original question, however, no there are no commercial, point-and-shoot, establishments operating at the moment, but there is no shortage, whatsoever, of available talent online, it just takes a bit of simple effort. Heck you might even get what you're looking for without any cash changing hands, I know I have.

[Blue Bus]

What sort of wine? Red wine. Ha ha that's classic!! Yeah she was no wine merchant that's for sure.

[Hilo77]

Ha ha yes I had the wine merchant as well. It was a couple of months before the currency trader. Same sort of speil, same generic hotel photos. Same same but different!

Take care and stay safe. As they say nowdays.

Below is a small section of the "wine merchant's" conversation indicating she might not have been who she said she was.

[Blue Bus]

Ha ha yes I had the wine merchant as well. It was a couple of months before the currency trader. Same sort of speil, same generic hotel photos. Same same but different!

Take care and stay safe. As they say nowdays.

[Hilo77]

Yes this happened to me last year. Except in this case it was wechat, I'm in melbourne and the woman supposably in sydney. She said she was a currency trader and making huge money and would send photos of gucci handbags and other expensive high end stuff. This all went on for a number of months until one day she sent me a message asking if I would be interested in being partners in the currency trade with her. I replied, ha ha thanks but no thanks I'm quite happy with my currnt investments. Never heard from her again. So yeah eventualy they'll get around to the scam.

I see, thanks that makes sense. The first one was pretty useless as she couldn't manage any sort of conversation beyond flashing her supposed wealth (in hindsight I think there might have been another one, an Indonesian woman who claimed to be a wine importer and when in passing I mentioned something about fasting she asked me why anyone would fast, and then made it clear she had no idea what Ramadan was, an unlikely Indonesian, no matter whet religion she was).

This one I am currently engaged with can actually chat about things, including movies and TV programs, but keeps bringing the topic around to money, investments and luxury items. She insists the hotel bathroom is actually her apartment in Repulse Bay. Yeah, when did you ever see a woman's bathroom that wasn't totally cluttered with tubes, brushes, jars, bottles, cotton wool and all the other crap they store in there? Not even a toothbrush to sully the pristine marble sink unit, while behind her is a crisply folded white towel and the aforementioned miniature shampoo bottles.

This doesn't even seem worthwile pursuing like the Nigerian scammers, sounds like it's all too long and boring.