Lisbon

[Kama Leão]

Ok, then...

1) be warned, it's not cheap: the sensuous massages go from 80 € up to 220€ (see the site menu);

2) the place is absolutely amazing: a very beautiful and spacious massage parlour in R. da Madalena (near the infamous Poço and leading into the Praça da Figueira square) decorated in "ethnic/exotic" style (flawless taste, believe me), literally carved in the ancient stone of the original building; several massage cabinets with bathtub, jacuzzi and wondrous wooden doors like those of Olde Lisbon's medieval legend. Sheer luxury!

3) You are received by a young blue-eyed Goddess with a French accent that has your knees trembling in no time. Harbour no sinful intentions about Her, though: She's just the guardian of the temple. She informs you about everything Wayang has on offer (by then, you already barely hear her...). As soon as you choose the massage (not the masseuse), the actual priestess that will be celebrating the joys of your flesh arrives (in a black blouse and sarong), offers you a fruit juice and leads you into the heavenly dungeon.

4) You walk down the stairs, undress, she offers you a set of sealed towels and a sarong and leads you to the bathroom where you find a generous choice of shampoos.

5) I chose "Massagem Shambala Clássica"

(http://lisboa.wayangcenter.com/pt/servicios.htm)

Quick translation: 60 MINUTES IN HEAVEN'S MOST BLISSFUL QUARTERS!

Warm water and oil massage on the tatami with intimate contact with the masseuse's body (by then wearing only a tiny thong) - no penetration, just prolonged, endless, delightful body-to-body, skin-to-skin rubbing -, then to the massage bed/table (?) where you go in and out of nirvana for a million times and when the final hand-relief is experienced it is only the last step in an ascending series of swooning plateaux. That's the moment you feel you could die a happy man, there and then.

6) The Goddess covers you with a clean towel and leaves you to rest for a few minutes. Back to the final shower, a set of pricey perfumes at your choice, and you dress to face the suddenly welcoming world outside - having sipped before a warm fruit-flavoured goodbye-tea, again in the company of the French Fairy who asks for your opinion about the experience you've just had (to say that, looking at her and reminiscing about the previous hour, you're pathetically lost for words is nothing short of an understatement) and sets your mind on the dangerous "should-I-stay-or-should-I-go" dilema. But you do go. And, for a tiny moment in cosmic time, you almost believe there's a kind and friendly god somehere. Then, you step into the Poço and collide head-on with the cruel, harsh reality of Sabina and her proletarian friends doing the "trottoir". That's class-struggle for you.

http://lisboa.wayangcenter.com/pt/index.htm

PS - my masseuse was a tender, soft, kind, gentle, serenely pretty Portuguese brunette. But don't expect me to remember her name. The mind wanders...

[Kama Leão]

Gentlemen, the Lisbon board has endured quiet moments, and also boring moments, often provided by the murilloan verbal diarrhoea – but it has been one of the few provinces of the Jacksonian Empire which has never broken out into tribal warfare.

So, let’s keep it that way.

Ozouville is welcome as a relative newcomer and Kama L has no need to establish his credentials, for here and on the Portuguese forums he has been a fountain of wit, wisdom, and (what we are all here for) information..

All is cool, calm and collected at KL manor, Muri-Squire.

Other Kama-fountain stories we will leave to the ladies of the Wayang centre in the biblically named Rua Madalena.

The very place for which the words "Pleasure Dome" were coined!... Got the hint... a post is surely due. Stay tuned.

Sadly, no info on the two lasses you yearn for...

[Murilloa]

Meu deus, merda, pa - Muri hates spelling errors as much as Sabina hates a parsimonious punter - and he wrote 'Lixboeta' instead of 'Lisboeta' in his last effusion.

But instead of correcting it, he allows it to stand as a shakespearian coinage - 'LIXboeta' is, of course the name for a resident of Portugal's capital who frequents the Poço, the Técnico, Restelo and Intendente in search of bargain-basement babes.

For non-Portugese speakers this is far from the only place where you will learn that 'lixo' (trash) and 'luxo' (luxury) are just one letter apart in the language of Camões and Cristiano Ronaldo.

Guess Cristiano isn't fucking too many 'lixo' babes these days, although in the gloriously freaky world of sexuality, you never know... perhaps he's taking Sir Alex Ferguson up the arse even as I write..

[Murilloa]

Gentlemen, the Lisbon board has endured quiet moments, and also boring moments, often provided by the murilloan verbal diarrhoea – but it has been one of the few provinces of the Jacksonian Empire which has never broken out into tribal warfare.

So, let’s keep it that way.

Ozouville is welcome as a relative newcomer and Kama L has no need to establish his credentials, for here and on the Portuguese forums he has been a fountain of wit, wisdom, and (what we are all here for) information.

Other Kama-fountain stories we will leave to the ladies of the Wayang centre in the biblically named Rua Madalena.

Talking of information, and still planning a return trip, what can any Lixboeta, native or temporary, tell us about two ladies of similar age (20) working at opposite ends of the price scale?

It is rumoured that Maria Porto, renowned author and nationally celebrated courtesan, will be in Lisbon on the 12th November, the same date as Muri’s all-but-certain visit.

Is this so?

And allowing for the fact that her site, her blog and her online photos portray an extremely appetising and intelligent young lady, is there anyone out there who has fucked her and can swear that the €150 was a good investment?

Now a fellow countryman, another subject of Her Majesty who conceals his furtive mongering under a flimsy cloak of respectability as he goes his hypocritical way among the expatriates of Cascais – anyway this good friend has advised Mur not to miss out on a certain ‘Monica’ of Avenida October 267, where a mere €30 buys access to the portals of paradise.

Has any one of you enjoyed her? She is, we are told, half Spanish, half Portuguese, with a fine command of two other major international languages, English and Cowgirl.

Any advice will be welcome from the troops on the ground in lovely Lisbon, where we are also reliably informed that the autumn weather is beautiful.

[Kama Leão]

You claim the other guy was ripped off in Gizelle in terms of pricing. Nevertheless, you claim you haven't visited it in months.

Who's the guy with the mental problem here?

Mental?!!!... I meant a "reading problem", that's an educational handicap, not a mental one. Anyway, you don't need to have been to Iraq to know there's a war going on there. I don't need to have been to Gizelle to know their rates haven't changed. Which they haven't.

Do try to make some minimally productive posts next time, my dear Kama.

We're all waiting for them.

57 and counting. Go read them. It'll do you (and your little friend) lots of good.

[Es Lx]

hello fellows!

i'm interested to hear about peep show offering in lisbon area.

i noticed from the megasex sex shop web pages that they have some kind of peep show service. do you know anything about services the girls are able/willing to give in the solo cabinets? prices?

yours,

mike the great

and you also have a place called "animatógrafo do rossio". it´s downtown lisbon. one of my babes told me about this one, don't know if it's any good mate.

be cool

es (enjoysex)

[Ozouville]

So sad to say you should do something about your reading ability: I was refering to Gizelle's standard fee and only Gizelle's standard fee.

That's a different subject: Gizelle's not perfect, far from it; but, in comparison with other similar places, it's still one of the best. Though I have to confess that I haven't visited it for quite a few months.

Rest assured, I can read perfectly, Kama. But let me see if I understood correctly; You claim the other guy was ripped off in Gizelle in terms of pricing. Nevertheless, you claim you haven't visited it in months.

Who's the guy with the mental problem here?

Do try to make some minimally productive posts next time, my dear Kama.

We're all waiting for them.

[Kama Leão]

I have a place near the Jesus Statue (is that correct)

Is that ALMADA?...

Not my turf, sorry. But surely someone here will help. Try to be more specific.

[Kama Leão]

Kama Leao, just paying 100€ for a session in Lisbon is already pretty retarded. So sad to say, with you being a native and all, you're the one being ultimately ripped off.

So sad to say you should do something about your reading ability: I was refering to Gizelle's standard fee and only Gizelle's standard fee.

Giselle is seriously overrated in my opinion. Been there a few times, not going back in the near future.

That's a different subject: Gizelle's not perfect, far from it; but, in comparison with other similar places, it's still one of the best. Though I have to confess that I haven't visited it for quite a few months.

[Es Lx]

hello fellows!

i'm interested to hear about peep show offering in lisbon area.

i noticed from the megasex sex shop web pages that they have some kind of peep show service. do you know anything about services the girls are able/willing to give in the solo cabinets? prices?

yours,

mike the great

hey mike!

i know just the place. the name's "pim's", it's in lisbon, in a area called graça. prices i don't recall, i was too wasted that night. the place is small n a bit scary, but with the right amount of liqueur u wont even notice!

enjoy "compadre"

es (enjoysex)

[Es Lx]

Hey guys!

Check out this website in Lisbon, next time you go there:

www.escort-lisbon.com

A bit expensive but it's worth it.

And they just do outcalls.

Be cool

[Belvaros]

So after much debate and some serious personal and business problems I am going to move from the party town of Budapest (with some nice lookers and a major number of absolute cunts) to Lisboa come Jan 2008

I have a place near the Jesus Statue (is that correct)

Is there action around that part of town (Rua da Vale) etc

See you soon lads

Muri, we will have to party sir, you sound like a riot

"Party on Wayne"

[Ozouville]

It is interesting to note that getting laid in Lisbon doesn't really have to involve expensive, paid (and usually poor-quality) sex.

The city boasts some discos, a few in the Alkantara area and a few in the Liña Cascais area which are fairly decent places for chatting up women. Given my somewhat respectable age and of course the language barrier, I have only had some modest success in my endeavours, but I seriously believe that anyone with some fluency in the local language and who doesn't look like the hunchback of Notre Dame will be a very happy man indeed.

Best of luck to everyone on their endeavours, and enjoy the nightlife.

[Ozouville]

Great place. One of the best in Lisbon. But, sadly, trying to rip you off: the standard fee there, for 1 hour, has ALWAYS been 100€.

Kama Leao, just paying 100€ for a session in Lisbon is already pretty retarded. So sad to say, with you being a native and all, you're the one being ultimately ripped off.

Giselle is seriously overrated in my opinion. Been there a few times, not going back in the near future.

[Kama Leão]

GIZELLE ESCORTS
www.gizelle-escorts.com

(...)

(was also offered EUR150 for an hour)

Great place. One of the best in Lisbon. But, sadly, trying to rip you off: the standard fee there, for 1 hour, has ALWAYS been 100€.