South Africa

[ImpressiveWin]

I'm going to be in JNB on Thursday and Friday. Can someone advise me on the best massage parlours offering extras with curvy line ups in town?

Moreover, if anyone wants to link up and hit up the strip clubs I'd also be down.

[Walshy]

Hi all,

Can I please ask for an idiots' guide to hobbying in Cape Town. I will be there for 5 nights in May and have absolutely no idea where to start? I have had a great time in Mexico, Thailand and Spain, mostly from online contacts like Twitter (Mexico City) and Mileroticos in Cancun, brothels in Spain and street and massage girls in Thailand. Could someone please let me know if they have advice regarding a trustworthy website or explain the best way to approach things when we arrive in Cape Town. I believe we are staying in CBD. Is it through massage parlours or is there a way of contacting local independent freelancers online? I don't want to risk any situation in dodgy areas but am happy to lower my bar of expectations if need be.

I will of course feedback with reports and advice on my return. Thanks very much for your help everyone. Keep safe.

[Zakmo]

W / here did you go that offline women were cool? I tried Mall of Africa and no such luck. Girls flaking on me.

I usually went to lounges, bars in the more upscale part of town (Sandton, Rosebank etc). At the end of the day it's a numbers game. Not all chicks will be down, but if you approach them right they will be down to have fun.

Remember, a lot of these younger chicks eg under 25, don't really have money like that to enjoy the iG lifestyles they consume in the media. You want to come across as this guy that will bring some excitement in their life even if for a few days. Nothing more to it than that.

Some will deff flake, but if you can make them feel comfortable and show them a good time, then you're good. Just take charge of the situation and ensure your logistics are tight eg staying close to where the action is.

Show them that you have bread, but don't necessarily lead with it. They will tell by how you're moving. You wanna make it seem like “Man, this guy is gonna have a good time and I don’t want to miss out on the fun.”

[Eirizarryrnb]

SA (South Africa) is definitely more westernized than Kenya, but women online are just a fraction of what you'll find in person. Girls act one way online, but in person it's a different story.

W / here did you go that offline women were cool? I tried Mall of Africa and no such luck. Girls flaking on me.

[Zakmo]

South Africa is next on my list after a nice stay in Kenya. For some reason though from texting with south African tinder girls, the girls seem to have difficult personality like American girls. Would you say I am reading them incorrectly. I had great vibes and many successes from tinder in Kenya.

SA (South Africa) is definitely more westernized than Kenya, but women online are just a fraction of what you'll find in person. Girls act one way online, but in person it's a different story.

[Blakman]

South Africa is next on my list after a nice stay in Kenya. For some reason though from texting with south African tinder girls, the girls seem to have difficult personality like American girls. Would you say I am reading them incorrectly. I had great vibes and many successes from tinder in Kenya.

Joburg and Cape Town are the biggest cities for the hobby, with emphasis on Joburg, but it's worth noting some ladies will come from smaller cities (approx 1-2 hrs away) to the bigger cities for the weekend to find clients / have fun. If you're in SA for an extended time and don't mind venturing out, it might be worthwhile to check out some of the smaller cities. Not as fast, not as much competition and the ladies are still like you'd find in Joburg (big booty women).

It's a buyer's market all around so don't limit yourself. I've heard East London and Port Elizabeth are some gems. Durban as well.

My next time in SA I'll peruse some of the other towns and cities outside of Joburg. This place is really a big booty lover paradise.

[Zakmo]

Joburg and Cape Town are the biggest cities for the hobby, with emphasis on Joburg, but it's worth noting some ladies will come from smaller cities (approx 1-2 hrs away) to the bigger cities for the weekend to find clients / have fun. If you're in SA for an extended time and don't mind venturing out, it might be worthwhile to check out some of the smaller cities. Not as fast, not as much competition and the ladies are still like you'd find in Joburg (big booty women).

It's a buyer's market all around so don't limit yourself. I've heard East London and Port Elizabeth are some gems. Durban as well.

My next time in SA I'll peruse some of the other towns and cities outside of Joburg. This place is really a big booty lover paradise.

[Vecky98]

TZ = Tanzania.

Thanks. I had confused it with something else.

[Zimzam]

can anyone explain me what's tz? I understand sa.

TZ = Tanzania.

[Vecky98]

Booty Zar Booty is the prototype but Segos got next! Kenyan girls are way thicker than Ghana goes, although there's ass everywhere in Africa but as a chubby chaser, SA is our mecca. It's either TZ or SA at this point. I want to let SA "stretch" it's arms out before buying the ticket. It might be my last spot before going back to the US.

Can anyone explain me what's TZ? I understand SA.

[Zakmo]

Glad you kept calm and no harm came to you, but how about some details of the club and women.

I second this as well, let's get some actual info on the proceedings in the club and what the women were like.

[Confiable]

Nah, they didn't set you up but you made a very rookie mistake. When leaving Royal Park / Summit, just take a taxi from the front of the club and call it a night. It might be a little bit more money but the peace of mind cant be beat. Even better if you can get a private taxi arrangement set up from one of the taxis there. Anytime you want to go to the club they'll be your go to guy.

In Africa you gotta be a lot more resourceful. When I go, I usually try to have 1-2 personal drivers I can call to move me around. Ill still use Uber/Bolt but always good to have a backup.

That's all there is to it. And yea, never walk the streets with your phone on you late at night at Hillbrow.

Other than that, be safe and enjoy.

It's called common sense. I wouldn't walk around Summit or Royal Park at night. You are inviting trouble. The taxis parked out front of these establishments are the best and only option at night. As far as taking a taxi there, I have had plenty of uber drivres warn me about going there. Been to both places numerous times and had no problems and will continue to go and enjoy myself.

[Blakman]

Glad you kept calm and no harm came to you, but how about some details of the club and women.

At midnight on a Sunday night tonight, I busted a dummie move: I ordered an Uber / Bolt to Summit Club!

Three drivers passed up on me live on the app, and I thought they were P*honk honk*ussies.

No man; now I get them. I really do!

So the guy called me that soon after got ambushed by street natives. It's an African thing for Uber / Bolt drivers to call.

To confirm. Called and asked "Hey man are you by Summit?.

[Zakmo]

At midnight on a Sunday night tonight, I busted a dummie move: I ordered an Uber / Bolt to Summit Club!

How many of you guys think the security guard set my sh!t up? I kinda think so.

Nah, they didn't set you up but you made a very rookie mistake. When leaving Royal Park / Summit, just take a taxi from the front of the club and call it a night. It might be a little bit more money but the peace of mind cant be beat. Even better if you can get a private taxi arrangement set up from one of the taxis there. Anytime you want to go to the club they'll be your go to guy.

In Africa you gotta be a lot more resourceful. When I go, I usually try to have 1-2 personal drivers I can call to move me around. I’ll still use Uber/Bolt but always good to have a backup.

That's all there is to it. And yea, never walk the streets with your phone on you late at night at Hillbrow.

Other than that, be safe and enjoy.

[Eirizarryrnb]

At midnight on a Sunday night tonight, I busted a dummie move: I ordered an Uber / Bolt to Summit Club!

Three drivers passed up on me live on the app, and I thought they were P*honk honk*ussies.

No man; now I get them. I really do!

So the guy called me that soon after got ambushed by street natives. It's an African thing for Uber / Bolt drivers to call.

To confirm. Called and asked "Hey man are you by Summit?

"Yeap I'm next to it".

"Hurry up man; they cannot catch me fetching you (picking you up)".

So what fcked it up was the security guard from the Summit Club stopped me from going to the Bolt taxi that was 50 metres away.

The time we spent politicking about my safety I could have made it to the car before the streets started the madness.

The dialogue goes something like this:

"Hey brother you need go back in the club and we'll get you a taxi driver".

"I'm good I'm not afraid of these Jozi punks out there".

"Put that cellphone away or else Jozi will have it!

"What I didn't hear you?

"Jozi man. The streets will take that cellphone from you".

"Man again I'm not afraid of these punks".

"Alright it's your call".

I begin walking towards the car as the cellphone in my pocket is yelling "Hurry the hell up aibo eish (For Christ's Sake in their language)" I didn't hang up the cellphone. The security guard is murmuring something to some other dudes behind me (maybe he drew attention to the shituation?

7 seconds later: Shouting and yelling ". WTF. *Inaudible Xhosa Zulu expletives*.

BOOM! CRACK! BANG! CRACK BOOM!

A big bottle shattered on the Bolt drivers windshield!

I didn't act shocked when that boom happened or else I would have made myself a target.

To become robbed since I would see easily nervous by the loud impact sound of them throwing the first bottle at the car.

3 seconds later 4 dudes came out "plain from the shadows" like Lionel Richie's Running with the night.

Kicking. Breaking a window as the Bolt driver sped off without me.

If I had ran to the Bolt and he would have locked the door thinking I was one of them, I would have been food for those Jozi zombie thugs. Holy fcuk! In my pocket barely able to hide from plain sight, I had a USD $300 32 MP cam phone large phone form factor 2022 edition with a stack of blue Nelson Mandelas. R1,000 on me (60 USD on me convertible) and I didn't get vicc'ed (it would have been a fight on their hands and I was ready for that shit but they don't have the heart like the late James Ingram to step to me but they stepped fearlessly to that Bolt cabbie!

So as I was walking not too slowly but not too quickly to avoid effervescing nervous energy from my pores (I wasn't nervous but I knew to strategically get out of there like the way I've mentioned how I did it), I finally, like CeCe Peniston, got back to the doorway of The Summit Club with the Security guard scoffing at me, "I told you so you thought I was lying, I told you so."

The guard and 3 other security guards that came from their break were laughing their head off at the whole ordeal.

Yeap Hillbrow loathes Uber and Bolt for taking money out of local cabbies pockets! (I really thought that as empty.

As Claim Street was on a Sunday Jesus Wept God Sabbath rest day at midnight South African time that I could pull that stunt off. Yeah I'm crazy af!

Yeap I shall go to Sandton / Rivonia and do the strip club thingy there and fck pro's on prem there from hereon out!

I might not make it the next time I go and try to leave The Summit Club even with a local taxi this time!!

How many of you guys think the security guard set my sh!t up? I kinda think so.