Thread: First Trip to Philippines
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01-13-12 16:32 #27
Posts: 7Originally Posted by GoodEnough [View Original Post]
I see this as great advice and thanks for it. I like what you say but unfortunately I have limited vacation time. I just can't take that much time from work, the 8 days I'm taking is already pushing it. More would flip my boss out. So if I go it's Cebu in early Feb for 10 days.
From what you guys have said, a woman who is around 28-30, with a real job, some university / college, preferably teacher / nurse / professional, definitely not bargirl, kids are ok, hopefully not a super poor family would be my target demographic. I'd add on a qualifier of in reasonably good shape and a little cute at least.
If anyone knows of any good women like that around Cebu who might be interested I'd be grateful for an intro.
I've sent a bunch of PM's to all of the other posters already to answer any questions asked to me. Thanks.
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01-13-12 04:50 #26
Posts: 864Originally Posted by Red Kilt [View Original Post]
First quote GE's post as if you were going to reply. Next copy the link from your browser and paste it in the ROD section.
Add [....URL] [/....URL] At either end. Click preview to check if the link works. (periods added to by-pass the forum software, remove them when you go to post)
Voila.
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01-13-12 04:16 #25
Posts: 3230Originally Posted by GoodEnough [View Original Post]
In fact, it should be listed as a "Post of Distinction" and I will do that when I work out how to do it.
Wife-seekers: please read and then re-read GE's post and treat it as an excellent guide to finding a wife or a long-term partner.
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01-12-12 23:07 #24
Posts: 4050Wife Territory
I know I've said this before, but in light of the recent discussions about Newster's intentions, perhaps it bears repeating. Most of the longer-term expats I know here (including myself) are in long-term relationships of one sort or another. Without exception, within my circle of friends, these relationships work and the couple appear to be extremely happy with each other. Some of the guys have spouses in their own age group while for others (including myself) , there's a huge age gap. The one factor all of us have in common is that we live here, were able to take our time, and didn't make any impulsive judgments based on the loud demands of our smaller heads.
From my perspective then, based on the past 8 years of so of experience, it's not only feasible, but also easy to avoid the scammers, avoid supporting the family a the to evade most of not all of the pitfalls described by others. The key variable of course is time: time to meet lots of "candidates, time to get to know each other, and time to establish a real relationship. Marriage agencies should probably be avoided at all costs: their motivations are purely financial and it's doubtful they vet the girls. A much better (and less expensive) alternative is to decide on a specific city in which to stay, start writing to some expats who live there, and see if their partners / wives / girlfriends have any friends anxious to meet foreigners. Alternatively, go to expat gathering places (not the sleazy bars and clubs) and get to know the guys who hang out in these. I'm not a church-goer, but I have been told that the churches are other viable venues for meeting serious,"normal" women.
For whatever it's worth-and being free it may not be worth much-my advice is to stay in a place for at least a month, and longer if possible. Let the newness of the place, and the rose colored glasses that often accompany the newness, evaporate, and wait until you've established a comfort zone. I think you'll then find that there are lots of serious, intelligent and sincere women in the "candidate pool."
GE
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01-12-12 21:33 #23
Posts: 553Be Careful With the Prenup
Originally Posted by Growtek [View Original Post]
Well, about six years after the marriage, my client filed for divorce. The husband tried to limit her entitlements based on the prenup, but I was able to have it thrown out based on unconscionability, both in the manner in which the husband obtained the prenup, and in the substantial unfairness of the terms.
Prenups will be generally be enforced, but you need to be careful in the way they are drafted and executed. Consult with an attorney on this, and make sure that you can show that your fiancee at least had an opportunity to read and take it to an attorney for consultation. Otherwise, you might be exposing yourself financially in ways you least expect- until it's too late.
RG
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01-12-12 19:47 #22
Posts: 13Romance Tours
Last year on the morning news I saw a segment on mail order brides that led me to sign up for a free seminar at a local Los Angeles hotel. It was well presented, but seemed expensive to communicate with the girls through thier system. The all inclusive trips looked tempting as well. I looked into going on one to the Philippines, but their schedule did not fit mine.
The outfit was called A Foreign Affair. They have an upcomming trip to Cebu in January / February, is that the one you are on?
Originally Posted by Newbster [View Original Post]
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01-12-12 09:10 #21
Posts: 1239Quite Right
Originally Posted by FreebieFan [View Original Post]
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01-12-12 05:23 #20
Posts: 4084Originally Posted by Stroker Ace88 [View Original Post]
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01-12-12 03:19 #19
Posts: 90I'd accept the economic angle as inevitable. You're not going to marry rich unless you have something better to offer (status or your own high income). It's going to be poor girls looking to make a better life for themselves and their parents. Because they're young and foolish they'll manage your money about as well as a US teenager would. They'll lie but the foreigner does more than half the work for the girl. Famous last words "She's different".
I met my 4' 9" Vietnamese GF 6 years ago at a restaurant in the US. She's 17 years younger than me and looks a lot younger than her current age of 33 (or maybe I look a lot older than my age of 50 heh). I think meeting her stateside was better. I boinked her the first night but have had a long time to get to know her. I know she, like most every woman has her economic interests at heart. Her family is not rich or poor. They have a small shop but have relatives who've done better. I don't send money to her family nor have I ever been asked. She's been living in my house but paying her own bills and contributing to the household until she recently lost her job.
She knows if we marry it will be with a pre-nup. I take one long trip a year if it's feasible for my schedule with a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. I have no interests in having a mistress or other emotional attachment anyways because after all this time I realize I love her.
I've had a beautiful young woman in Thailand I was going to marry and it turned out to be the worst decision of my life. The only lucky thing was I found out she was fucking around on me before the wedding.
I've seen some marriages work, some not. In either case there was an age difference although usually younger on the fails (along with lower education, lack of language skills, expectations of the punter, etc).
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01-11-12 18:02 #18
Posts: 3281Originally Posted by Newbster [View Original Post]
In Philippines it is all about money. Very few opportunities for a foreigner to marry for pure love. All girls want marriage and the financial security comes with it. In Philippines the financial security is extended to immediate family as well as a foreigner is percieved as rich. Besides average family consists of atleast 5-10 incuding parents. So they all need money for this and that.
If you overlook girl's past life you can find lots of nice girls to marry. There are many good looking girls. If you are going to marry I suggest little older without kids. Young girls will do and say anything till they come to USA and run away or start screwing on the side. As you know you cannot control anybody in USA including wife and kids. Besides it will be socially very uncomfortable for a old man to go around with a young trophy wife unless you are multimillionaire.
Like any relationships things can go downhill after marriage be it be local or foreign bride. I would go to Phi often on my own, chat girls, meet them, do not fall in love with the first girl you meet. Girls are also choosie these days. If you are ugly, obese, heavy smoker even a poor girl will not want to be with you.
Smaller cities and provinces gets the better result atleast in the begining if you are looking for simple, honest girls. Phi girls will say what you want to hear.
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01-11-12 09:27 #17
Posts: 864Originally Posted by Chocha Monger [View Original Post]
Good advice for the marriage agency guy, but doubt he will listen.Last edited by Stroker Ace88; 01-11-12 at 09:29. Reason: smilies
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01-11-12 07:58 #16
Posts: 2656Originally Posted by Newbster [View Original Post]
Don't think a pre-nup is going to save your ass in US divorce court when your wife is a poor immigrant. If the agreement doesn't provide everything she needs to survive on her own in the event of a split the judge will shit on it and throw it out. Then you'll look like a mean old coot in courts seeking to exploit poor ignorant young women from the Third World. Then you'll feel the whole weight of the justice system come raining down on you. The other members have given you a dose of reality and while the medicine is harsh I doubt it will do you any good as you seem hell bent on finding love at any cost.
You said that you are middle aged, divorced and had a string of failed relationships. Why do you think that a relationship with a poor ignorant Filipina from a foreign culture will turn out any better? The two of you will have absolutely nothing in common and then the age difference will further complicate things back in the States. You said you have no problems establishing relationships with women at home. So, what are you really looking for? The sweet loving nature of Filipinas is superficial and not unrelated to the fact that they need and want money from you. How many sweet loving Filipinas have you dated in the States?
Take your time and take a few more extended trips get to know the women and then see if you feel the same way.
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01-11-12 05:21 #15
Posts: 204Originally Posted by Newbster [View Original Post]
I started with Manila then Cebu and Bohol on my first trip. That was enough. I met some good people and some bad. My best contact was the woman in charge of security at my hotel. That was because every time I went out for a smoke she was there and asked me "where is your companion". She also watched me in the hotel security cam. When she realized I was alone she explained a lot to me. That being said. It has not stopped her from asking me for loans for family emergencies as recently as today. Keep in mind that emergencies happen all the time and they have been dealing with them before the met you. Today it was her mother who is very ill. My response was that my daughter is going for surgery tomorrow and I had to spend all my money on my daughter's emergency. It's BS but Filipinos always respect caring for family.
My second trip this year I was to Manila and Cebu again plus I added Palawan, CDO, and Camiguin Island. It takes awhile to get to know each area so I would just stay with Cebu for now and get a sense of what it is about.
My final piece of advise to you is to keep in mind that when these ladies say they will guide you it's often useless. They want to guide you to places they have heard about that are close but where they have not been to. Even though they were born and raised in the area, they are often so poor that they have only dreamed about going to and staying at the places they suggest.
Keep you eyes wide open. I hope the experienced members agree with most of what I have written.
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01-11-12 00:46 #14
Posts: 691Originally Posted by Newbster [View Original Post]
Also, you are not set up to receive private messages?
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01-11-12 00:46 #13
Posts: 420Marriage minded
Originally Posted by Newbster [View Original Post]
GG