View Full Version : Filipinas - Opinions and Advice
Mook,
So which personals sites had the the worst offenders?
If we've got any decent graphics guys here, that would be a good utility to write - detect the amount of tampering in a photo.
Frequent Flier
08-02-04, 16:35
GE,
You sell yourself short.
You know that rap is definitely a worldwide talent. Even in the good ole USA, if you got some rap you can sometime pull a stripper out of a club.
You seem to have good rap and treat the girls with respect.
Treating girls with respect is something that is hard to fake and the girls, regardless of their background, can pick up on this quickly. I would say you have a genuine affection where others may not, so even though these guys may have an edge on you and I in age or physical prowess, the girls would much rather spend time with someone who will treat them with some respect.
As a co workeer of mine once said, if you lose your rap, it's time to buy that ring.
FF
GoodEnough
08-02-04, 17:06
Mook:
Thanks for the post. You confirmed what I suspected but could not prove. It's probably better just to hang around the local internet cafes for a while. At least that way, you can spot the good looking (pre photo) chicks while they're surfing for husbands, boyfriends, supporters or whatevers.
GoodEnough
08-02-04, 17:30
FF:
Thanks. Maybe I developed the rap to compensate for other shortcomings, like advancing years, a serious fondness for good wine and a general avoidance of exercise. I learned last night though that too much of a good thing be it women or food, can be debilitating.
The woman I pulled out of Gallera is, by a long shot, the best looking woman that I've been with here. We spent a truly exhausting night in my bed last night, and I'm happy to be alone this evening. I had to lie to keep her away tonight, and now she says she loves me. This girl is 22 with a body to die for, an adorable, Spanish face and an appetite for sex that's greater than mine, and mine is pretty gluttonous. The problem is that she is now going to try to move in, move everyone else out, and go on permanent status. This is the last think I want.
I went after her in the first place because she is (a) so gorgeous and because (b) I was told she never goes with customers. Getting with her became a challenge. I am starting to think that it's better to P4P, with no expectations of anything but sex and no obligations. My friend the Slayer is having similar problems. His woman in Cebu is simply outstanding, and, from what he tells me, is also voracious. She apparently though wants to be not only his number one, but his only one and just will not let him breathe.
The Slayer can speak for himself, but at my age, this kind of clinging possessiveness is the last thing I need or want. I know I sound like a spoiled kid in a candy store who'se eaten too much chocolat. Maybe I'll just hide for a few days until my attitude changes and/or I get horny again.
GE
Frequent Flier
08-03-04, 02:51
Hey GE,
You got that one right.
I can only quote, as I have done may times in the past on WSG, Charlie Sheen. The famous actor who was implicated in a Hollywood escort service that was busted some years ago.
When Jay Leno asked Charlie why he would pay for sex. Charlie responded. "Jay, I don't pay for sex, I pay for them to leave after sex."
It is good to keep this in mind when getting that free lay I read many guys posting about. I always give the girl money.
I even picked up a honey in Greenbelt in Makati during my last trip. She didn't ask for a thing, but I gave her $2,000.00 peso any way. Once the money changes hands they understand.
I even had a semi regular in Hong Kong who used to get pissed off becasue everytime we screwed I would give her money when she left. She would say I was treating her like a fucking girl. But, she always took the money and in the end I didn't have to worry.
FF
I'm going to start moving away from the internet dating sites after my last experience. Your're right that it will be better meeting the girls at the internet cafe emailing and chatting with their overseas bf's.
I found that Netopia had the most girls such as the one in Ayala Cebu because there is no minimum such as 30p for 30min minimum, Netopia doesn't have a minimum so a girl can use a computer real quick for 5p.
It's so hard to tell if a photo has been fixed but the best give away is if the girls face is clear and clean, no blemishes at all, if she's between the ages of 18 and 25 she has acne. Sounds gay but I use Shieshedo face wash, I was taking a shower with a girl on my last trip and I asked her what she used on her face, she told me she just used plain soap. Figures since Sheishedo or other face washes cost money and soap does not help with acne much.
For now I'm done with P4P girls, it's too easy meeting regular girls. Sure it's more of a headache but it's been a while since I've been in the GAME. And I have plenty of free time on my hands when I go there.
Attached is a photo of one of the girls that I met through lavalife I think, anyway, in the picture she decent, not a knock out but decent so I met her at the Starbucks at Ayala in Cebu. This girl has so much acne and the amount of foundation she had on could not hide it much at all. In the picture she looks so different than real life. When you look at her in the picture she has a natural beauty, nothing that says wow but she's cute enough. Let me tell you that either the picture is old, touchec up or someone else. Next time as an experiment for here I'll post before and after pictures so that you guys can get an idea.
I'm usually not that mean, I swear, even if I a girl I meet in not very attactive and she totally false advertised, I still have a coffee or a meal with her, chat her up and then make an excuse to get away. And I always give the girl about 200p so she can take a taxi home and for her troubles. But this one I had to ditch instantly, I said there was an emergency, handed her a 100p for a ride home and said to call me later. I'm not going to do that again since it's messed up but I sent her a real non-touched up picture and she should of done the same instead of wasting both our times.
For myself, it's harder to meet regular girls. I'm Asian so I don't stick out as much and the girls don't know that I speak English perfectly so it's harder for me. When I sit at a cafe, I get approached less than someone who is white because I'm not a obvious monger or I don't look like I'm an American. But once I make eye contact and start a conversation, most times it works out. I'm in my late 20's so I'm within the same age as the girls so we have things to talk about for the most part.
I did meet a couple of Japanese and Korean girls in cebu, didn't know there were so many there. It helps that I can speak their language but apparently there is a korean school that teaches english there so college age korean girls come to cebu and even davao to study their english.
Mook
This is a very interesting story that I think everyone should read.
http://www.michaelbeard.com/PageOneNew.html
Hey Everyone,
I went to the PI for the first time last month, and had a great time. Not only in Angels, but manila as well. Thanks for all the help with everyones directions, it was very easy after reading where to go and what to do. Next question I have is that I heard from a military guy that there i a lockdown on the PI this month, is that true. Or is it just for the miltary. I am going again this month, and want to make sure I can get in when I arrive. Getting info in Iraq isnt as easy as you all think, everything is heresay, so I would hate to show up and be turned around.
Thanks again.
Here is a pic from my last trip.
GoodEnough
08-04-04, 00:24
Texas Joe:
The rumors you're hearing are baseless. There's no restriction of any kind, at least for us civilians, and the place and the places are still wide open.
English Dan
08-04-04, 01:15
Tiantain,
Holy *&^%#...What a horrible ordeal that guy Mike went through. I am suddenly feeling real skiddish.
Hank
Trim, the sad part is that I did use a web cam like I mentioned in my story. She still looked different. If I think back, the room she was in was kinda dark but still web cams are still low light not very crisp.
Mook
the micheal beard story has been around for a long time. many say it's bs, some say it's real.
from what i heard, that girl was **** and supposedly he was a ****, so what ever happened to him he deserved it. the girl was 14 when he met her and even if she did work at a club it's still no excuse. many say the **** got what he deserved.
mook
Frequent Flier
08-04-04, 19:31
Even though I figured it was BS/Fiction or, as said here already, a one sided view of what really happened.
Based on what I have read about the Philippines at time if your not careful. It is more likly that they would have offered him a plea bargin. Maybe one or two thousand US dollars that would go to the family to drop the case.
I have read about this before on other boards. I kept waiting for that to come up in his report. Also, he speaks many times of losing his entire wealth, yet he is always leaving on a trip around the Philippines while the trial is being dismissed.
Have to admit that pictures give it some credibility, but who really knows where the pictures are from.
FF
GoodEnough
08-05-04, 01:10
I just read about half of the story and got bored at that point. If the story is true, then this guy is the most stupid and naive son of a ***** ever to come here. To me, the tale is pretty believeable, and is practically a metaphor for a certain aspect of the local culture here. Alternatively, by taking advantage of the voracious greed of most people, he could probably have bought his way out of trouble at any time. Had the girl's family had any brains, they would have encouraged her to move to the States and then to bleed this guy for all he was worth.
The moral of this story for us expats, who run the risks every day, is probably that if it seems too good to be true, it isn't true and the instant a girl's family starts to get involved, you get out. Of course, I never did hear of any place that had a PhP5,000 bar fine, or of anyone who would be stupid enough to pay it even if asked. They must have seen this guy coming from miles and miles away.
The most appalling part of this story, if true, is not what happened to this guy, who at 41 years of age should have had a modicum of sense. It's about a society, a judicial system and above all, a family that would so callously exploit a child. The family is guilty of child abuse.
Flying Scotsman
08-06-04, 11:15
Read this whole Michael beard story. Emphasis on "story". All I can say is that this guy is definitely not "the full shilling". If true it sounds to me like a guy desperately trying to show his own side to condone the mess he has got himself into. Totally agree with GoodEnough's comments but still cant make up my mind if this story is BS or what!! Pretty girl tho :) never saw her when i was in Athena.
The Flying Scotsman
I ask a while back, what would an 18 year old want with a 46 year old. ( me ) I found out when each of the three ladies ask for money. The highest was eight hundred a month to a low of four hundred a month, u s dollars. All three of these ladies said they loved me very much. i was not opposed to sending them some money, but not anywere near what they were asking for.
How much would be a fair amount to send a lady each month. Assume you were planning to go there in a couple of months a maybe marry if everthing worked out ok.
I don't like to pass judgment on the other fellow but it should have been clear the kind of people he was dealing with when he had to make so many financial commitments before they would agree to the marrage.
True or not it should remind us all to think with our big head and not our little head. And listen to our innervoice we all have.
As in any country there are lots of people out there willing to take your money if you are not carefull.
I am still out there looking and will not allow a few bad apples spoil the whole bunch.
Slickery
Wander Luster
08-08-04, 06:20
For those of you that have used the online meeting / dating / marraige / freind Web sites to find woman in the PH that are "good to go" without an extended courting ritual, which sites do you prefer.
I've been using filipina heart, and there are certainly a large number of woman on this. I just wonder whether 95% of these filipinas are just looking for a long term relationship which is not what I want.
What about Freindfinder? If it's very name implies something not too serious like marriage or relationship, is it more fertile hunting ground?
WL
GoodEnough
08-08-04, 06:41
Flying Scotsman:
Where is Athena? In all the times I have been to Manila, I've never heard of it, and I'm sure I've never seen it. Is it a typical EDSA/Burgos-type bar, or something different?
I don't know if the story is true either, except that all the detals he provided make me think that it could be. If the story is true, I hope the US State Department reads it and begins to require an intelligence test prior to the issuance of passports. No one this stupid should be allowed out of his house, let alone the country.
Slickery - A fair amount would be zero. Before you start considering sending money, you better make sure you're the only one sending it (doubtful) and that the girls "love" is real (doubtful) and that she's not simultaneously making the same requests of several other guys (highly probable). save your money and use it for plane tickets.
GE
Frequent Flier
08-08-04, 08:38
Slickery,
Not only are you wasting money you could put to use funding a trip to the Philippines, but if you send these girls any amount of money the amount that you send will become inadequate almost imediately for the hospital bills for the sick relatives or a host of other excuses.
They will continue to try to get more and more from you. If you do visit they will have the whole family waiting for you to give them late Christmas presents (money) unless of course you actually visit during Christmas.
Save your money for yourself or give to a honest charity. It is not that some of these girls and their families couldn't use the extra money. It is what they actually do with the money you send them.
Where did you meet these girls?
FF
“How much would be a fair amount to send…”
There are thousands of guys who will nod their heads in agreement with Goodenough’s suggested amount. And probably most of them have had ulcers watching guys go and do it anyway in spite of much sound advice illustrated with many colorful examples drawn from experience, so I won’t even try proclaim what someone else “should” do, even though I like GE’s math. But just in case it has any slight interest for Slickery and others similarly situated, here are Wastrel’s Rules for Filipina correspondents, not as a prescription, just to report what has worked out best for me.
Wastrel’s Rules:
1. If she has never, ever, not once even hinted at anything financial after months of fascinating correspondence, she may receive a once per anum gift of up to 5,000php max. for her and her family for the holidays;
2. If she has very tactfully and indirectly hinted at an unmet financial need for some heart wrenching purpose, she gets nothing, not even a direct reply, and definitely not an explanation, but she may or may not be permitted to continue communication with Wastrel depending on how interesting/entertaining Wastrel finds her correspondence, and whether she insults Wastrel by trying it again;
3. If she asks for money, she gets a jar of strawberry jam, because she is toast.
Good luck.
GoodEnough,
Athena is on Roxas in Pasay City.
If memory serves, it's next to another similar place called Miss Brunette. It's an overpriced place, cover charge of 800 pesos and barfines of 5,000 - 10,000 depending on what you negotiate with mama. The girl's fee is included in the barfine.
Not bad girls there, but you can do the same or better for less money.
Slickery,
A fair amount for those girls who say they love you and want you to send money would be a kick up the arse and out the door when you finally catch up with those thieving mercenary cows.
GE is right save your money for a ticket and then pay them for a bang and a BJ if they're hot and then show them the door and move on to the next one and the next and the next one and the next one etc.
Cebu Steve
08-08-04, 19:17
GoodEnough,
I've read and enjoyed and learned from many of your posts.
Your comment:
"If the story is true, I hope the US State Department reads it and begins to require an intelligence test prior to the issuance of passports. No one this stupid should be allowed out of his house, let alone the country".
That just cracked me up. Next time I'm in the PI, I definitely hope I get a chance to meet you and buy you a drink.
CS
I met them on filipina heart. I reported them to the site and their profiles are gone but I am sure they will be back with another profile. I think I will take all the great advice I have been given and save my money for when I go there. If I find the girl to be to my likeing i will buy her gifts at that time.
Thanks again for the advice
Slickery
EDITOR's NOTE: Posting of this report was delayed pending revisions to capitalize the word "I". To avoid future delays, please use a capital "I" to refer to yourself in future reports. Thanks!
GoodEnough
08-09-04, 00:02
Spitfire:
Thanks for responding with the location so quickly. I never knew there were places with bar fines so steep. It sounds like a good place to miss, so I will not go there.
Wander Luster
08-13-04, 05:57
My appologies if this has been asked before. There is no working seach feature on the site.
Can you buy GOOD or VERY GOOD (maybe American or Japanese) condoms in the PH? In Cebu? Especially the ultra thin or slippery slidy kind ?I'll be there for a very long time and can't get away with stuffing my whole suitcase full before I leave.
Thanks!
WL
The best condoms in the PI is made in Japan. The brand is OKAMOTO, just tell the drugstore you want the Point-Oh-Two (0.02mm) condom. it is the thinnest but really strong. However if you are caucasian, you might complain it is too tight for you.
I looked at this,
http: //www. michaelbeard. com/PageOneNew. html,
The one pic of him and the girl clearly shows that she is very young, and of questionable age, in his story it had about ten red flags: first was the families quick agreement to money, second was where there were at, third was the high price of the bar fine, ect ect and ect, and lastly to actualy see the grandmother beating her, which was probably because the grandmother was not getting any money and the girl was not hustling enough money from the guy.
After all of the above and having a cooling off period, then finding her back at the bar again. (Run! Forest, Run! )
I would have run home, but he went back to the barungay captain (most of these guys are crooks) and when he asked for the motorcycle and gave the guy a chance to leave? (Run! Forest, Run! )
I haven't always done the best for myself but I have not ever been this stupid.
I do know the majority of the poorer asian countries sell daughters into prostitution, its part of the culture thats happened for thousands of years, even in Japan daughters are sold.
I do think that was part of my exwife problem that she would not or could not admit too was that she had been sold by her family wether that was by her mother who is dead or her father who is still around is unknown. I would be willing to bet that allot of these girls are tweaked in the head, especially when the are from the poorer families.
My exwife used to comment 'My father never showed us his love'.
Columpuss,
Ref. the discussion in the photo thread. Everyone is different. You know best what makes you happy and what you want out of life, not me or other WSG members so you are going to have to decide yourself if you want to get married. My personal feeling is one should only seriously consider getting married if he is madly in lust with the girl (this won't last forever). Aside from lust they truly enjoy each others company, share like values and have good temperment, and they both want to raise a family. When people marry they are all pretty confident that their marriage will last forever; however about half don't. If you ever do decide to get married be sure to get a legal pre-nuptial agreement and keep it in a safe place. Good luck.
My advice to Columpuss,
If your looking for a wife try to stick by these guidelines:
If your worried that a girl will take you for your money, when dating her, spend nothing on her as if you had nothing. Then if she still is interested in you then she is in it for the money.
NEVER MARRY A CLUB GIRL. I can't express this enough, case in point, friend of mine married a girl that used to work in a club as a dancer, they got married and came to the states. She is for the most part a good person but she reverted back to being a stripper. This upsets him because she was going to school, working a normal job and just quit because its not the kinda life she is used too. Needless to say they are technically still married but she told him to find a girlfriend and shut her legs to him. Thats just one example, I have plenty.
If your determined to marry a foreign national, like I did, go for a girl that is not used to city life, of maybe a student(be careful with them too)Maybe even a slightly older woman or a girl that has a job like a hairstylist or teacher(something legit). The benefits of marriage varies, one benefit that I find to be the best is having children. But like Vchip said, only you can decide what it is you would like to do. This is just some suggestions, things i went by in choosing my wife. Ive been married for four years and have to kids, I dated my wife for about a year and a half before we decided to get married, I met her through a coworkers wife. Things have pretty much been great over the four years and ofcourse we have fights, everyone does, but other than that, its been great. But I still monger,LOL.
Rev333
GoodEnough
08-21-04, 06:15
My Advice:
As an alternative to getting married to a Filipina, consider buying a dog instead. The dog will be cheaper, more faithful, honest at all times, and will love you unconditionally. It will not be sending your money back to a range of others from the litter, will not be randomly fucking another dog who comes along with a convincing story, and will not be constantly moaning that it's been months since you bought her a new collar. Also, it's likely that the dog will have better manners and be less vicious.
I have made this point before, but it cannot be restated too many times. Unless you can find a Filipina from the upper 1% stratum of society here: one who is directly descended from the Spanish, has had an excellent education, and who grew up with real money, forget it. For the most part, the quality of university education here is not even equivalent to education at good high schools in the US or Europe, and the level of intellectual processing is between small and non existent. Even teachers here go through the equivalent of a mediocre two year community college in the US.
Unless you want a life partner who believes that soap operas are the highest esthetic attainment of human kind, and that magazines with lots of pictures are the avatars of great literature, stick with the dog.
GE
MasterBlaster
08-22-04, 17:42
GE,
If that is how you see things maybe you'll never get married to a Filipina. You really don't have to anyways. %1 of the economic ladder?! That is certainly pushing it. Even if the odds are against me, I wouldn't consider a dog as an option anyways.
MasterBlaster
Flying Scotsman
08-25-04, 11:08
GoodEnough,
I have always thought your reports have been helpful and well balanced. Your last report on this page was, to say the least, narrow-minded and extremely ignorant and unhelpful. Was it tongue in cheek? Did I misread it? Ive been married to a Filipina for 25 years and have a great family in the Philippines who, although poor initially we have helped and built up a succesful business with them. They never asked for a penny but as a member of the family I felt obliged to do what I could. Am I the only one who has experienced this ? I doubt it. There are good and bad in every culture and I agree that the type of girls that most guys on this board will meet could well be as you describe. Hopefully anyone looking for a long term relationship will have the sense to look further than the bars and clubs we use in our leisure time.
FS
Thanks guys for the inputs
Maybe it's me but I haven't seen a happy married guy throughout my life and certainly not in my family or relatives'. Everything is picture perfect for the first few years and after that, the wife nagging, and the kids disrepecting. I guess marriage is a woman's thing, we usually get trapped. I think deep inside, we are dogs. We love to sniff, fuck then move on to the next. I've made up my mind. Love ya'll
Flying Scotsman,
Good E thoughts are not narrow minded at all those filipinas are terrible, I will be stupid to say all are bad but a good piece are. I met a girl who insisted on not using a condom a non bar girl I stayed with her for a while and I had known her for about 3 months before we got in bed at any rate I wanted to use a condom but she kept whining about it even when I told her its not safe so I gave in like dummy believing she was this sweet special little angel oh gullible me I knew all she wanted was a damn kid anyway the LBFM gave me chlamydia then told me after I informed her of this that if I didn’t marry her I can’t return to the Philippines(Vicious just like Good E described) cause while there she saw and I realized how popular foreign man are to those girls and I am 22 and in good health. Anyway go there have fun and leave, yeah there are good woman there just like also in my home country of America but tell me is it worth all the searching to find them?
GoodEnough
09-03-04, 18:06
Flying Scotsman:
I apologize if you thought that I was denigrating the relationships that work and I certainly meant no disrespect to you. My post was, to be sure, highly exaggerated if not totally tongue in cheek. It's true, as others have said, that many marriages, even those between two culturally compatible people, end in failure. However, it's been my observation that the odds against truly successful relationships are even greater here, and the reasons, as I've stated, are social, economic and cultural.
Most, though not all, of the relationships that I've observed here are pretty weak, and the expat husbands in particular, begin to "wander" after a year or two. Many, if not most, find that they've undertaken financial obligations that they have not anticipated and many, if not most, find that they have absolutely nothing in common with their (mostly much younger) spouses.
Maybe I have just been running with the wrong crowd, or maybe I've become too jaundiced by what I have seen here. Having said that, I also know that hope springs eternal. I'm involved in a relationship right now that I hope will continue, mature and result in satisfaction for both of us. So far, it's been terrific, but these are still early days. We've known each other a long time, had an on and off sort of relationship, but somehow could never quite let go of each other. This time, I guess we've decided to really put our feelings to the test.
Perhaps it just all boils down to what each of us wants from a relationship. and the range of expectations and hopes in that regard is probably very broad indeed.
GE
Why would a guy want to marry a "club gal" anyway!? Is he pussy whiped? Gives him a knob job and the idiots in heaven!
You can take the gal from the club but you can take the club from the gal. They will always go back. And then you are left broken hearted and just broke.
English Dan
09-04-04, 05:18
Hi Guys
I have weighed in a couple of times on discussions here in this column. At times I have addressed some of what I thought were over "generalizations" or characterizations of some girls. Anyway - am still involved with a girl. Just to refresh you - shes 34 has 4 kids, separated, middle class, never worked in a bar and never was with another man other then her husband until me. I met this girl through her younger sister who is a very committed Christian girl.
Here is the deal:
She does not want to be with her husband for several reasons:
1. He does not work and does not provide for the family
2. he is an alcoholic and takes drugs - she fears for herself when he is in that state
3. He has abused her
4. He refuses to live with her cause she lives in a small house built behind her parents.
In spite of this she claims she still loves him. Though she would rather be with me. He occasionally comes into the house and wakes her up to have sex with her. She usually fights him off but has consented a couple of times in the past few months.
Here is where I want the opinion of some of u experienced men with filipina wives out there. I am guessing that she continues to consent out of a sense of obligation and maybe even fear. She does not want to tip him off that she is involved with anyone out of fear of what he may do - possibly to her.
Do you guys think she is being 100 percent authentic with me - or is she stringing me along also. Remember - she has never asked me for money. She is always very considerate and concerned for me as a person. She is educated and employed.
Does she have some other long term agenda for which she is setting me up toward. I am her ticket - for some other long term goal. What do u think?
hank
Flying Scotsman
09-06-04, 19:59
GoodEnough, As I said, I enjoy your reports and I think I know that your report was slightly tongue in cheek. Its difficult and wrong to generalise about any nationality and I know that Philippines has its share of the type of girls you talk about. No problem, keep up the great reports that you make. Hope we can have a beer sometime.
Scuba, love your comment "you can take the gal out of the club but you cant take the club outa the gal" :)
Wil Kil. As you said your 22 years old. Say no more.
Guys, the Phillipines is a third world country. The girls are beautiful and thats why we are all here using and taking advantage. Lets not beat around the bush. Enjoy and treat them with respect and you will have a great time. If you do get involved in a long term relationship then you need to accept that there are wide cultural differences which do cause problems. I was lucky enough to meet a traditional Filipina who is a great cook, wonderful mother to three great kids and at 50 is still fantastic in bed and most of all puts up with me!!
Happy Mongering
Flying Scotsman
I think she is 100% telling you the truth, beware of the husband though, especially if he is a junky.
Rev333
Timber Tree
09-07-04, 05:28
The truth is most filipina women are really submissive. Most of the have low self esteem, specially highly educated filipina women. Most of them will be lying about thier relationship just to avoid embarrasement from friends and family. This works very well if you are married to her and have kids. Unless she is a bar girl.
I would say when you have establish some connection with her, you can cheat on her, then she will resent you later, then they will beg to take them back.
If I were you and have feelings with her then stay, otherwise have sex with her and move on to the next girl when you are tired with the relationship.
So, the husbands gets to have sex with your woman and you pick up the pieces. Filipinas feel that it is there obligation of the wife to satify the husband.
I may sound insensitive, but I lived this first hand.
GoodEnough
09-07-04, 13:59
Flying Scotsman:
Sure. I would love to share a beer sometime. Of course, you are correct in your statements about the culture here.
I think that for younger Filipinas, sex is just the currency used for negotiating a relationship. They do not seem to attach as much significance to it as it typical of relationships and expectations in the West. I'm not speaking here of bar girls selling sex, or of "traditional" Filipinas (whose number is diminishing) but of the perception of sex among the younger generation of Filipinas. That is, sex is neither a big deal, nor an indication of everlasting love; rather, it's a way of solidifying a relationship, of imprinting the "girlfriend" label on themselves, and of staking out their territory.
My perceptions of the nature of relationships here is evolving, and based on my own experiences and those of my friends. I may be wrong, of course, but this is what makes sense to me at the moment.
Castle Rock
09-07-04, 22:57
I agree with Flying Scotsman. You must remember that the Philippines is a third world country and there are girls there who would do anything to get you to marry them. Believe me I know! I carried out a long distance relationships from my own country for about 9 months.
I had split up with my filipna girlfriend (who is now my wife) and a so called friend set me up with his niece. The girl is a personal secetary to a well thought of chartered accountant. She earned good money but as soon as i arrived in Manila she thought the wedding bells were ringing and ringing loud. I kick that subject in to touch straight away but every now it was brought up but when I said no, she threw the toys out of the pram and stormed off.
This girl was a well educated and well paid but all she wanted was to move out of Manila and move overseas and she saw me as her ticket to a better life. I did not give in to the pressure that she and her family put me under. During the relationship, If I did not phone her or write to her she was texting me non stop until I phoned. When did phone all I got was a grilling of what I was doing, where I had went and who with.
When I finished with this girl she constantly text me saying that she was going to kill herself, tell her family that I made her do things (sexual and non sexual) she did not want to do and she also, threatened to have me arrested if I ever came back to Manila (I'll soon find out when I arrive in Manila in December). When I left her she was stilling a virgin and still is no doubt.
So guys, remember not all the girls are like the one that I escaped from.
GoodEnough
09-08-04, 00:21
Timber Tree:
It's true, as you say, that many Filipinas suffer from low self esteem. They perceive themselves as "low" or sometimes "small" while they perceive expats as "big" or "high." These perceptions are highly correlated with money and the type of job you hold. It's why so many Filipinos will invariably address you as "sir" whenever they see you. It's a comment on the difference between your socioencomic status, as they perceive it, and theirs.
The other factor is, of course, that Filipinas do not, in my opinion, attach quite the same significance to sex as we do. If the lady has to give up sex to cope with the relationship with the husband, then she does it; not through a sense of obligation but because it's just easier that way.
The typical survival mode of a typical Filipina seems to be to do whatever it takes to get her through the day. Their lives are marked by an absence, for the most part, of longer-range planning and/or gratification and a fairly low level of positive expectations. This is not a criticism of their way of life. As I said, it's a survival strategy. This is probably why a little kindness on our part pays such enormous dividends.
GE
MasterBlaster
09-08-04, 04:01
Hank,
I am not a foreigner and for that I think I know the mentality of the woman you described. This is just an opinion. Take it or leave it.
A woman like that has an identity crisis and she cannot really make a firm decision as to what she really would like to do in life. There are several reasons as to how she could be pulled back and forth between the two sides of the fence. She cannot weigh her priorities right since her identity is fashioned by what religion, family, the public, cultural values and herself tell her. Here religion tells her to keep her marriage, the public tells her to leave her husband, her family tells her to keep the marriage just to uphold the dignity of the family, cultural values tells her to never loose hope and she tells herself that she needs happiness. Mostly women like this have really low self-esteem. As Westerners, you could not comprehend the possibility of a woman staying with her husband even when the husband is sadistically abusive, but, sadly it is not really a rare case in the Philippines. Filipinas are inherently fatalistic. They would hang on to their value system even if it means the end of their happiness, and, hope is always in sight even if the odds are against it. You really don't have the slightest idea what kind of hold all these forces have on her. The husband knows for sure her weakness and this is how he maintains a hold on her.
I suggest you keep out of the relationship coz you are really just a small part of her struggle. Usually, people who think they could make a difference actually get sucked in to the struggle. The only way you can really be sure about her is if she showed strength against all these forces I mentioned. That would really be a tough job for you to even see this, especially, if you don't understand the cultural norms of the Filipinos.
One more thing, if a Filipina is still married to her abusive Filipino husband, beware as the husband would certainly have the tendency to maim or murder especially if you are caught with his wife - it will definitely cost you an arm or a leg and possibly your life; it doesn't matter if the husband is educated or not. Remember, Filipinos are fatalistic - they would uphold their value system, even if misplaced, to the death. Do not take this lightly.
Like I said, take it or leave it. You can ask the other folks here if these statements are incorrect.
MasterBlaster
Flying Scotsman,
Cut it out. Yeah I am 22, but I have been all over the world and have never met anyone like those filipinas they can be a happy angel one minute then a tornado of rage in a flash.
Castle,
Please be careful. You guys in this Forum are like my brothers so watch out. If she plans to get you she might just do that. Yeah we may think the Phils is fun and games but I know plenty of Filipinos who I have served in the US Army with and they have told me horror stories from that place. If you read the Sun Star you know what I am talking about.
EDITOR's NOTE: Posting of this report was delayed pending revisions to add standard capitalization throughout the text. To avoid delays in future reports, please refrain from using the "chat room" style of writing with no capital lettering. Thanks!
GoodEnough
09-08-04, 15:05
The most well-respected polling organization here is called the Social Weather Station (SWS). Recently SWS published a national poll which indicated that approximately 70% of the population of the Philippines would emigrate if given the opportunity. By any account, this is a shockingly high percentage. This is not because Filipinos don't love their country, but because there's so little opportunity created by the economy, and so little hope of any improvement, that any expectations of a rosier economic future are, for most people, futile.
This explains, I think why so many Filipinas will spring at any chance, no matter how slim, to marry a foreigner and to get out, even if the future they face is unknown and unclear.
The concepts of love, attraction, fidelity, and happiness are tied, albeit more strongly in some than in others, to the notion of getting to North America or Europe, which, for Filipinos, take on an almost mysical attraction. While it's true that, to a certain extent, the same phenomonon exists in several countries in SE Asia, nowhere is it as strong and as pervasive as here. I've seen the same set of circumstances in Africa, but there, the IT infrastructure is not as well developed, which means that the number of Africans able to communicate frequently with foreigners is still relatively small, and the opportunity to "troll" for prospective foereign mates is more limited.
There are several agencies here specializing in the placement of Filipinas in various foreign locations, from the Middle East (as domestic workers) to Japan (nightclub entertainers, GROs) to the US and Europe (health care professionals) and most of them have extensive waiting lists.Most such agencies charge a substantial fee for helping these ladies find jobs, and they scrimp and save to accumulate enough money to get their chance. I have lost count of the number of "normal" and reasonably well-educated Filippinas asking if I could help them get jobs as maids to foreigners who live here.
It's thus economic necessity, and the thought of escaping to a "better" if somewhat undefined new life that provides the motivation for a huge percentage of the population here; particularly the women who can turn their looks, and the attraction of Western men for Asian women, to their economic advantage.
GE
Migrant One
09-08-04, 16:04
I'm in the states and just started dating a filipina less than 4 moths ago. She has been here about a year and is a professional with kids and is about 4 years younger than me (47).
After a few dates it seemed she was making the wedding plans already, and is always extremely clingy. I've told her I'm in no hurry to marry again, she says fine, but the "we should live together", "Can't wait to get a ring" comments keep coming in.
She is pretty, sexy and many other things I like, but I'm just not ready to commit.
She makes decent money (but has 3 kids), I make decent money, but by no means rich. She pays for every third - fourth meal and is constantly buying me stuff, and bringing me food.
It seems even the ladies who are here want to desperatly marry!
(Yikes!)
migrant
Pinay Lover
09-08-04, 21:40
I myself dated a filipina for 12 years before I was assigned to work here. I was given this image of a corrupt, dirty, no hope country and glad to be out of there country. So you can imagine my reluctance knowing I was about to be transfered. But after the first year, I got a better picture.
Yeah, there are a lot of filipinas willing to marry someone just to get out of their country. Who can blame them. The younger generations are bolder than the previous ones. They learn to use sex as an advantage to get someone to like and hopefully fall in love with them. The older generation girls are more willing to take the longer route of e-mailing and getting to know the person. both intentions are the same.
Many go to extreme lenghts and risk to work in other countries just to earn a few hundred dollars a month. That's why some girls turn tricks to either make some money for that placement fee or make big money without leaving the country by luring foreigners to spend their dollars or euros on them.
A few of these girls go all out to win our hearts hopping for that one chance to get a fiancee visa or wedding bells in the future. A couple of my regular girlfriends are doing that to me so that I could finally settle down with one of them. I'm getting old and the offer starts looking tempting each time. Mind you that two of the girls are career women and one a former dancer. Only time I seek other women is when I'm hornyand none of the girls are available.
A few thngs that worry me is they are quick to be jealous, 'clingy' and is probably more serious about the relationship than you are.
But if I can catch that rare gem, I ain't letting go.
Dragon Slayer
09-09-04, 21:18
Pals,
After 14 years travelling in the Philippines (16 years in S E Asia) I can say one thing: the situation has gotten worse, not better. Poverty is horrific and the government is beyond our concept of corruption. Getting a Filipina takes all of about 30 minutes on a chat site.
Having met and had relationships with more than 25 Filipinas (fucked over 100), I can accurately state a few things:
1) They lie with incredible frequency,
2) They play the "poverty card" to their ultimate advantage.
3) They always choose Family over You. I found this out on Leyte in early August (read my long Post in early August on Davao Borad).
4) Some will do almost anything to get out of the Philippines.
I have, however, NEVER seen a Filipina (even my daughter's mother) go into a rampage or commit acts of violence. This was common with THai women, including my former Thai wife. A Filipina who "loses it" due to jealousy or infidelity will act out her anger through deception and other effective means.
In August I had my e-mail invaded and ALL my contacts were sent separate e-mails saying I was in the Philippines looking for women to have sex with at the time. This was the source of some embarrassment for me, even with some of my lady f riends in China and my "china doll" in Toronto.
Dragon Slayer
Pals,
I do agreed with Dragon Slayer. To cut it short. They are opportunitiest. You give them 1 in. they want 1 feet. Never ends. they are great liers.
MB
Yo, Migrant,
Let me get this right. She's past 40, has a few kids, is new to the country and asking about a ring fairly soon into relationship?
This shit ain't the Brady Bunch, brother. Run like the wind!
Now here's the funny part. The kids may not necessarily be hers.
I casually dated a Filipina in California who had like four or five kids living with her. Only one was actually her kid. The others were nieces and nephews. Call me callous, but I wouldn't doubt if she got state support for each of them.
I know Filipinas can be fairly alluring, and maybe the accent gives an extra boost to your hard-on, but consider how you'd react if presented the same situation by an American woman.
Like the wind!
GoodEnough
09-11-04, 01:54
Malboy:
Are they any more opportunistic than we are? Seems to me that each of us wants what the other has. They want to get out of here to have a better life. They want and need money. We want the pleasure of being with a younger, attractive woman, and we want sex and we want the illusion that we're still attractive to women half our age. They're great liars? Sure. And so of course are we. What's the problem and what's the surprise?
It's easy I guess for us (and me included for sure) to get self righteous; to complain and moan about the perfidy of the Filipina. But let's be careful to temper that feeling with a dose of reality. We look for multiple partners, for whatever reason. They look for multiple partners in the hope that one of them will come through with a solid relationship and a visa. Who knows? Maybe they have their own board somewhere on which they complain and moan about us and our collective propensity for lack of commitment, seriousness, or whatever.
I just discussed this post with my girlfriend. She agrees that this is a reasonably accurate point of view. Let's just admit that this is a case of perpetual, and mutual misunderstanding.
GE
Dragon Slayer
09-11-04, 06:19
Pals,
The last trip is still too recent for me to Post completely. I can report on the "inside accounts" I have obtained from some of my "former ladies' in the Phils.
Mikster, are you listening? Merly is getting tutored by "One Of the Best" at Lies & Deception. Maribelle, her Big Sister. I learned after the "Infamous Dinner Meeting" she and my daughter's mother held in Cebu last august that Maribelle was "working me like a NYC construction project". She used the I am poor and helpless routine on me to extract tons of money over the past 4 1/2 years. Her timing is a bit off as her birthday and her daughter's are soon and I was always good for a lot then.
She bragged to baby slayer's mom how she goes "fishing" in the Malls on her days off searching for foreign men. She then jumped up and yelled out to a foreigner who walked in to show "how easy" it is. Miss Martinez then went on to relate how she gets "pocket cash" from these men she picks up. Know the word schmuck? Slayer here feels like a big, giant one.
This poor girl from Camotes then tells how she no longer needs the Slayer as she has a new benefactor (sucker) from the good old USofA who just deposited $ 500 into a savings account for her. SHe had asked me for $100 extra while dining with GE and myself in Cebu. Asked me privately for P90,000 as a "loan" to work overseas. I declined both requests. I am stupid but not that stupid.
What amazed me is how baby slayer's mom, whom I have been with for 11 years, laughed and joked about sex with me and got into a long discussion with martinez about how often I liked to fuck. Martinez said she would often get tired as I fucked too much. I mean this is the Mother of my Child talking with this fucking hustler about sex with me.
Enough for now. Sick to my stomach and in dire need of a few Sapporo beers now. Post more later when I rid my stomach of the foulness of this.
Anyone wanting Maribelle's nude phots/blowjob shots, etc feel free to PM me. She did not mind me taking them so I am certain she would want ALL to see them. Good for her "side business"
Dragon Slayer
Those who don't have the stomach to withstand what I'm about to suggest, please turn away!
With all this complains about Filipinas, I have a great idea. Let's forget them, and turn our attentions to, are you ready guys ? "American women" How about it guys? The sweet, submissive, gentle, loving, non-materialistic, thin, soft spoken, all American girls or "western girls". They don't want visa. They just want to love you. ha?
It's ok, run to the bathroom and let it all out. Do the comparison guys, which would you rather have?
Can we get back to normal discussion without the hates.
Thank you
GoodEnough
09-12-04, 00:39
Columpuss:
Amen to all that. Let's accept the situation for what it is, decide to take advantage of the positive aspects of the Philippines, limit our expectations to what's real, and have a good time. The fact is, that the Dragon Slayer has more individual experience here than the collective experience of most members. We can all learn from his recent travails, and use the knowledge gained to make sure that the same thing does not happen to us.
GE
GoodEnough,
Thanks!
Fellow mongers
Execuse me for being a smart ass there, just want to make my point. Personally, I met many Filipinas on my travels, both bar and regulars and became pen pals. Never once any of them asked for anything but just the acknowledgement that life is tough everywhere especially in third world countries. I only encourage them to hang on and they do the same to me. Sometimes I even became a little selfish and whine too much about my own problems and forgot that theirs are much worse.
I guess it's all about how you approach a girl. If you keep talking about your six figure income and your 5 bedroom mansion in "heaven" then she will respond differently. For me, I'm just another human being escaping the harshness of reality, yes even in the US of A, which many of them think that money grows on tree. They often don't think that we slave ourselves to save for a vacation. You'll be surprised how they will react if you tell them the truth. I met many good and decent girls that way.
Pure Logic
09-12-04, 08:24
GoodEnough posted some time ago that he is perplexed by the fact that many guys send money to a girl they have never met, rather than using it to fly over and meet the girl. He mentioned a woman who pursued relationships with several such men simultaneously, and never expected any of them to show up. I imagine it is probably true that they won’t show up because she is likely to say so based on past experience.
Furthermore, GoodEnough mentioned he knows several such girls, so this is not an isolated case. He suggested that anyone should be able to get laid without paying much in the Philippines. This last point makes me wonder how knowledgeable the average person who seeks relationships with Filipinas is on the type of information contained in this forum. Information on prostitution and traveling for sex is poorly advertised, so ignorance could be fairly widespread.
Of those interested in Filipinas, I wonder what percentage are primarily interested in marriage and what percentage are interested primarily in short-term sex. By asking the question in this way, I may be introducing a false assumption. It could be that the vast majority are only looking for a virtual experience. The most common medium of communication would probably be internet chat.
In the world of internet chat, those who communicate quickly, tactfully, frequently, and promiscuously have a very strong competitive advantage. A few can and will dominate the market, and pick and choose from what’s available. I have a friend who was routinely able to go into an American sex chatroom where the male to female ratio is on the order of 20 to 1, get the attention of the few females, and get one of them to agree to meet for sex. The best friend of my ex-wife was a 39 year old fat ugly American Filipina who posed as a beautiful young 20 year old and had her online boyfriends send her money. In some cases they flew across the country to meet her in person, at which point they’d either be so disgusted by the deception that they’d end the relationship right away, or they’d go ahead and have sex with her anyway.
In the early days of the internet, men outnumbered women by a huge margin. Dating sites such as match.com had 5 times as many men as women in the developed countries, while today it is about 2 times as many. Since the men who seek relationships with women online outnumber the women who seek relationships with men, it seems to give women an advantage.
Given the chaotic nature of internet chat, and the time investment it takes to establish and maintain online relationships, the use of monetary incentive seems like an understandable investment. A substantial fraction of the recipients are probably honest and faithful.
What is much more puzzling to me is the amount of money that’s spent on pornography. It always seemed to me that men would be too proud to pay money to someone for the privilege of watching them have sex. It is like someone saying to you “I get to have all the fun. You watch and pay me for it.” Besides, the internet drastically reduces the cost of reproduction for pornographic material, and there shouldn’t be any need for anything “new” given how much is already out there. (Americans spend over $1 billion a year on internet pornography.)
My hypothesis is that the root of the problem has to do with society’s illogical attitude towards sex. In particular, the idea that girls are sluts or are easy when they have sex with too many guys is outdated in an age of effective contraception. A major consequence of this, however, is that men will spend too much time and money courting women or trying to get sex.
Likewise, in a capitalistic society that generally encourages the pursuit of pleasure as well as the fulfillment of basic human needs, prostitution should be one of the most respectable professions.
I’ve seen many posts suggesting that bar or club girls are undesirable when it comes to marriage. Having never entered a bar or club in the Philippines, I have no strong opinion on this, but it is odd that this wisdom seems to be accepted as self-evident, and requiring no argument beyond the catch phrase “you can’t take the club out of the girl”. I have been married twice before, and both girls had never had a boyfriend before me. From my perspective, it is not obvious why one should not marry a club girl.
Dragon Slayer
09-12-04, 08:28
GoddEnough,
I enjoyed our chat this morning. You know Pal my last trip was a real "eye opener" for me. I wanted to relate some of this on the Board as I was surprised after over sixty (60) trips to the Philippines over the past 14 years at what Filipinas are capable of when outraged. It always turns up that some rookie wants to "reign me in".
I need to just keep silent and allow these guys to fuck up at will. I told you about the "peachtree georgia pussy" and the "mason city $5,000 fool" (put $ 5000 in a bank account for a girl shortly after meeting her. She immediately cleaned out the money as fast as the ATM allowed and disappeared).
You know yourself GE that I am not the "fuck & run" type. I tend to keep in touch and nurture relationships. You have met at least 5 of these ladies and spoken to at least 5 more on the telephone or net. My Posts on this Board this past week were partly to air my feelings and also to inform the Guys as to what can happen. No need for them to experience what the used car salesman from Peachtree, Georgia or the idiot from Iowa went through here.
Obviously I prefer Asian women, including filipinas over American women. No contest. But the undertones and cunning of asian women are something western men are not accustomed to or perpared to deal with. Hell, after all these years I even got taken for a long, expensive ride.
Talk to you GE and hope we meet soon somewhere in the world. Pal I am very happy to know you are doing fine. Stay safe.
Dragon Slayer
Well, I wouldn't say we're preaching hate at the Filipinas. I'm just responding from my own consistent experiences. I'd just want a fellow brother to proceed cautiously.
The pros of Filipinas: They do seem quite affectionate, and the ones I've dated have been as good in the kitchen as they were in bed.
The cons: Well, sometimes, they ARE cons, and shameless ones at that. Of course, Dominican, American... well, just about all women have that rep. But I think Filipinas can take that sh!t to a new level.
Dragon Slayer I'm sorry to hear about your recent bad experiences. Don't let it get you down. No one can be 100% safe from being played unless they lock themselves in a room alone. You have a good head on your shoulders. They won't get very far ahead of you and you will have, and have had, a hell of a ride! I feel sorry for the guys that never get taken because they never do anything. You and GE are two of my heros!
Dragon Slayer
09-13-04, 09:46
Pals,
I have been PM'd to death. I cleared it and it filled up. Sorry,. This of course, includes many Boards incluidng Toronto, Canada. But most is right here. I work long hours and it is now 01:30AM so I am not dissing anyone (played ball with black ballplayers for many years, hence the term).
Columpuss,
Man you must live in a cave. This is the SLayer. I know 1000's of Filipinas and NO, I NEver make the rookie mistake (except in Davao in early Aug; read the Post) about my income. I would have to say that 1 out of every 4 girls I meet and chat with over a longterm (say 3 hours - 2 days) asks for money. I am not inventing this and I have been preparing a Post on this very subject.
This has not happened to me on the Thailand or Chinese chat Boards (speak Thai and learning chinese) but it is recurring like a "spreading virus" on the filipino chat boards. I met a giirl in Ozamiz City on match.com who within 10 minutes of chatting told me I must give her $ 100 to show my good faith intentions to her. I had barely enough time to tell her my name let alone get to my annual income.
I had one girl from match.com ask me for $ 150 for physical therapy for her back (great set of fake tits) during our first chat. Filipinahearts.com has a long, detailed warning about giving any money at all to filipinas you meet there.
Filipinas are great. Chinese girls are even better. I am locked in as baby slayer is half filipina and I would sooner die than give her up.
Dragon Slayer
Dragon
Now I know the difference between our approaches
I don't meet any one on any chatroom. I only meet them on my travels and exchange email after I know them a bit. That's how you figure it out. Stay away from the pushy ones and settle for the more composed and conservative, for me. I didn't mean to give anyone the impression that all Fillipinas are good, it's life, 50-50. But more like poker, you are good if you know how to read the faces. I don't know why but I have better lucks with Filipinas than I do with Thai, Chinese, Indonesians, and Vietnamese. That's why I keep returning to AC years after years. Like I said "to each his own"
GoodEnough
09-15-04, 09:50
Columpuss, Pure Logic and my eternal buddy the Dragon Slayer:
Thanks guys. The last few posts are some of the most candid and insightful that I have read for quite some time. It's reassuring, at least for me, to realize we all go through the same struggles in our efforts to understand.
I think that the reason we continue to be surprised by some aspects of human behavior is that the linear model of Western thought, or "rationality" simply does not apply here. Because it does not apply, we are unable to predict with any accuracy the response of the population to given sets of circumstances and stimuli. The fact is, that the attitudes and thought processes of Filipinos in particular and Southeast Asians in general, are governed much more by mystical or "non-rational" forces than is true in the West. Logical positivism, or the "if A then B" approach is simply inappropriate.
Pure Logic has implied at least, that it's the basic cultural and/or social assumptions that we do no understand. I agree. If we did understand these, or at least if we could define them, perhaps the behaviors would make perfect sense. We're simply making judgments from the wrong paradigm because it's the only one available to us.
In the Philippines, which is generally described as the only "Christian" country in SE Asia, we compound our mistakes by assuming that, because it's Christian, it must be grounded in the same Judeo/Christian belief sets as the West. The fact is though, that Christianity here is a very thin patina overlaying centuries of more tribalistic, pantheistic and mystical beliefs and it is these, more than Christian precepts, that govern behavior and thought.
There's a premise in logic that differences in belief are not subject to resolution through logical argumentation. This is true because differences in beliefs are grounded in different assumption,s and logic cannot resolve such differences. The point is that we see life through the prism of our own sets of assumptions and the Filipinos do likewise. The two sets are, however, extremely different most of the time.
It would be interesting to hear more on this subject from those with Filipino antecedents who were actually raised in the West. Perhaps they would understand, far better than I can, the specific differences in the two belief structures. I would imagine that they would have a difficult time reconciling the two.
Perhaps the only lessons to be learned are first, to acknowledge the fact that "East is East and West is West" and that the two are different and may be, in some cases, irreconcilable. Second, perhaps we should continue to try to explain to Filipinos why we act the way we do and third, we should never stop trying to undertand the basis for their behaviors and beliefs.
I have not touched on the conundrum of the guys who continue to send money to women they have met on the Internet. Perhaps it's a matter of nobility on their part; perhaps it's a way of sustaining a non-threatening relationship; or perhaps it's a genuine desire to cultivate something durable and meaninful. I would guess that the motivations are as varied as the number of guys engaging in the practice. I do not know, and I doubt I will ever understand it.
GE
GoodEnough
09-15-04, 14:47
This evening, I picked up a copy of the "Time Asia" edition dated September 20. On page 64, there's a review, entitled "Strange Magic" of a new novel, "The Disinherited," by the Filipino-American author Han Ong. In his review, Jamie James makes a statement that is apropos of what I said in my prior comments. He says: "No nation in Southeast Asia offers the storyteller richer material than the Philippines; certainly few places need more explaining. Superficially, the country appears to be the most Westernized in Asia, after centuries of Spanish colonialism and a formative interlude as an American dependency. Yet its soul is rooted in a panoply of ancient cultural traditions and magic religions as fabulous as any in the region."
Enough said.
GE
Any suggestions,currently sending my girlfriend to college ,graduates in two years with a technical degee worth about 75000 a year here in US. Plan to marry her and have a child. Problem ,she has 7 brotheers and sisters ,what are the chances she will try to bring them all over here at my expense once the green card is given. She says no way but family is number one with filipinos. She is a province girl but I met her in Manila and am positive she is not fooling around. My biggest problem is that I still want to monger big time around the world and finally have enough time and money to do it, but I do not have the same feelings for any of the many girls as I do for my girlfriend. She knows I fool around when I am not with her but still tries to monopolize my time and wants to go with me everywhere, I do not want to dump her but at the same time I dream of new encounters. We have spent almost a year of time together so my understanding of her is pretty good, Her family has never asked me for a dime as they own land in the province and dhe could move there now and live without working in her home town which is very rural , I am torn on what to do she is 22 and I 45,any suggestions
Marc
It's 7500 not 75000 right? if not, that's a lot for technical school
I know a couple of guys who have wives with at least 10 years gap in age and didn't work, they all said, after the good sex they have nothing to talk to the wives about, that = we have nothing in common. Hope that's not your case.
Good luck!
No, she will make at least 75000 and has already agreed that I will handle all of the money, that agreement will be in our prenuptial or no deal, her response, will I gve her 10 % to send to her family and I said no but you can spend it on yourself, she loves school and gets great grades and I like that, but.
GoodEnough
10-05-04, 22:25
Marc25:
I am reasonably sure that holders of a Green Card do not have the right to sponsor any relatives for visas to the US. That is a right reserved for US citizens and, even if you do get married to the girl, it will take her at least 4 years beyond the green card to get a passport. Besides, if you're going to be the one controlling all of the funds, how would she have the means to bring them over?
My (very) limited experience with newly-arrived brides/immigrants, is that it does not take them long to "become" American and to adopt US attitudes and behaviors. If this is true, I wonder how long she will sit still for your plans to continue your sexual excursions once you're married and she's there in the US. If past experience is any reliable predictor of future behavior, I would imagine, she would not tolerate it for very long. Further, can you imagine an American woman allowing her husband to control her $75,000 income? I can't. prenup or no.
Just a thought, and I could well be wrong.
GE
Frequent Flier
10-06-04, 01:24
Marc25,
$75,000.00 directly out of school?
I find this hard to believe, but not impossible I guess.
Have you researched her posible income or are you guessing?
If it is not to private what is she studying in school?
FF
Lion Killer
10-06-04, 01:47
GoodEnough/Marc25
Your are right on (GoodEnough), saying green card holders cannot bring family members across. Family or not, the spouse (wife) has to get USA citizenship. After her conditions of her initial green card are removed, which takes 2 years, its another 3-5 years for her to get her US citizenship.
You are also right, when they get here, they quickly get Americanized. So be ready for the change in the sweet little PI woman you met. No longer will she be the same.
She knows now you cannot control her or her money. You have paid her way here, and she now has many PI friends that tell her she can do better.
Its your choice (Mark25), I did the same thing you are doing and now I am have divorced, to the sweet little PI woman I brought here.
But to each his own, we all have to learn in our own way.
LK
As to 75K for a 22 year old Filipina with a technical school degree, I doubt it. That would put her in the upper 5% of income earners. As to a contract (a pre-nuptial is a contract at base) allowing one to control the fruits of another's labor (her wages), that's slavery and frowned on here in the great old USA. In other words, an unenforceable pre-nuptial. In fact, I would bet good money no pre-nup would be found enforceable against a foreign bride. They must be negotiated at arms-length between individuals with separate legal counsel and be 'fair' in order for them to have a hope of being enforced. Trying to control a 20 year younger immigrant bride's income with one is a pipe dream and likely to lead to jail.
kim_jung_ho
10-06-04, 06:06
Marc25,
Unless she is attending an "elite" school (UP, Santo Tomas), I'm not sure you can count on a degree from the Philippines having the same earning potential as a US degree.
Like GE, this is just a thought.
Regards
I appreciate all the comments and advice, currently she is going to UP ,which she picked and was adamnant it was a top notch school, especially in nursing. Nurses in Hawaii can work four days and make 75000 easy within 4 years. I have known her a year basically she has enough income to go to school without my help. I have purposely made her self sufficient, so I can see whether her interest in me is true. She wants to live in the Pi and have a baby with her, I am not crazy about full time in the PI,but after being with her 24 hours a day for at least 4 months , she feels truthful. at least I know she loves going to school, at first when I proposed getting a degree she wanted to go to Medical or Vetern. but i said nursing. I know she will change but I have a hard time ralizing I may have to let her go. Any comments on how much you can protect in a prenuptial, just in case
Cooler Brew
10-07-04, 13:59
Marc25,
I am loath to give advice to fellow monger, however, in this circumstance I wouldl like to share something my dear old Pappy said to me many years ago when I was leaving for Korea.
He said, " son if Uncle Sam didnt issue it to you, don't bring it home with you". In the years since he gave me that advice I have grown grey, hes in the graveyard, the family farm is now an upscale subdivision, and the world has generally gone to hell in a a hand basket, but that advice is still very relevant.
If you truly love this girl and I have no doubt in my mind you do, because Filipinas are by and large the warmest, friendliest women on the face of the planet, They along with Latinas comprise the last groups of women on the face of the planet. that I can tolerate being around for longer than five minutes. but please Marc if you truly love her do not bring her home it will be cruel and unusual punishment for both of you.
I have yet to see a marriage like that not end disastrously.
Just some food for thought. Best of luck my man.
Best Regards,
Cooler
EDITOR's NOTE: Posting of this report was delayed pending revisions to capitalize the word "I". To avoid future delays, please use a capital "I" to refer to yourself in future reports. Thanks!
Marc25,
As someone that works as a manager in the technical arena. I can tell you that there no way she will earn 75k as a college grad here or over there. The philipines has never been known as a country of advance tech nor are phils viewed as technical people. One certain fact is that in the phil even if you go to a good tech school its still a buyers market, there are plenty of unemployed tech grads over there who have had to seek advance degree. In the u.s. where outsourcing is a big issue in the tech arena there are people with years of tech experience under them who have advance degree unable to get a job. You will NOT be able to get a job as a new grad in tech that pays you 75k not even if you go to schools like MIT or Cal tech the two top tech schools in the u.s. The tech boom is pretty much over in the u.s. you won't find anyone paying 75 k for the most part unless your a manager. My suggestion is look around at local news paper see how much they are paying and what the requirements are. Furthermore a newly grad from another country wouldn't even get an interview in my company. Reason being we recently had an entry position open up pay was 37k a year with some experience, and this is in california. Over 700 resume were submitted to us in a span of 4 days. You need to ask yourself why would you even consider hiring someone who has never worked here in the states, would you even bother to make a call around the world to verify employment? How would you verify if the school was accredited by u.s. standards. That degree is worthless in any big company, or any company that is paying a decent wage. She may end up getting a 8 dollar an hour job being tech support or something like that, but don't expect anymore than that
Flying Scotsman
10-08-04, 13:59
Cooler Brew
"son if Uncle Sam didnt issue it to you, don't bring it home with you". How racist is that!!?
I personally have been married for 25 years to a Filipina and i have many friends who have foreign wives. But then thats in the UK.
If thats the only advice you can offer then why not just keep it to yourself.
FS
Marc25,
I, too, know of a handful of of US/Filipina couples who have made it. Though I had to send mine back.
Also, if your lady is an RN, 75K after 4 years of US experience is not all that far off.
BTW, one of the regular readers of this board, and an occassional poster, is a nurse recruiter. PM me if she is nearing the end of her schooling.
FD
75 k for a rn after 4 years? I ve been doing some research on this matter, after 4 years its true you may make in the low 70 or high 60's but most of the time from what my research indicates you have to have advance training, this is only what I have read on the want ads. In fact 75 k seems to be the going rater for a nurse with a master degree! nurses practioner. Also you must consider she may not pass the board exam. Apparently only a very small percentage of philipine nurses pass the rn board exam in the states. Perhaps it would be better if you let her try and get into the u.s. by her own means, by passing the rn board exam which will guarantee her papers.
Dragon slayer
Sorry to hear that you got played, it just shows that even seasoned people can be taken for a ride by these gals. What I find more troubling is the discussion your wife had.
Instead of having people pm you for pictures of the gal in question why not post her picture on the photo section. Who knows someone right now on the board maybe taken advantage of. Since you have always been someone who has shared his experience and given lots of sound advice. I think it be fitting that you share this evil witch with the rest of us so we can avoid her like the plague if we see her.
Cooler Brew
10-10-04, 22:12
Scotsman,
No racism involved, only common sense. The truth of the matter is I have seen many folks arrive here with foreign wives from Europe, PI, Korea, Panama and all the other places were the US has military personnel stationed, and I have yet to see one of these marriages work out.
Possibly the demands of military life were too great, but then again the divorce rate in the USA is already over 50 percent. Hell at this point in time I wouldnt encourage anyone to get married.
You do have a point about the Uk being different than the USA though, that is kind of like comparing apples and oranges. The USA may well be one of the most savagely competitive and capitalistic countries on the face of the planet. To expect anyone to adapt to life here is rugged to say the least. Throw in the pressure of married life and trying to maintain a career. And you have a nearly impossible situation.
EDITOR's NOTE: Posting of this report was delayed pending revisions to fix dozens of simple writing errors including missing punctuation, peculiar punctuation, missing capitalization, multiple periods throughout the text, etc. To avoid delays in future reports, please proof-read your reports before posting them. Please review the Forum's Posting Guidelines (http://www.wsgforum.com/postingguidelines.html) for further information. Thanks!
GoodEnough
10-11-04, 06:49
Guys:
For what it's worth, less than 5% of the Filipinas taking the US licensing exam actually pass. The same is true for those who take the UK exam. The reason however, is not, typically, a deficiency in technical skills, but in English Language proficiency. Both US and UK licensing boards require Registered Nurses to speak at a level of fluency approaching native born, and the candidates from the Philippines cannot meet this standard. This is why call centers opening here reject approximately 94% of all applicants, most of whom are University graduates.
I think there's also a requirement, for nurses wanting to work in the US, that they work as nurses for a minimum of two years in the Philippines prior to applying. This requirement (assuming my information is correct) coupled with the English Language requirement presents a pretty steep barrier.
I guess the implication of this for those wanting to bring ove Filipinas to work in the States, is that you better enroll them in an English Langugage Training program once they've completed professional school.
For those who are interested, a number of studies regarding the declining proficiency in English in the Philippines, have been conducted over the past several years. The Government here has recognized the problem, and has recently recommitted itself to doing something about it.
GE
I can really notice the decline in English compared to when I first started coming to the Philippines in 1993. On this last trip there were several girls that just couldn't talk. It was sort of like being in Thailand or somewhere that has lower English ability.
I think that some time in the 1990s there was a fit of misplaced nationalism saw Tagalog favored over English as a medium of instruction. So now the chickens are coming home to roost. People are failing to get the only well-paying jobs they have a chance at because of English. Sad that the Filipinos so often shoot themselves in the foot this way.
Frequent Flier
10-11-04, 22:05
To the Nurse occupation.
Yes, Nurses are needed in all States in the USA. There is a big shortage here in North Carolina where I live.
But, they do not make the type of wage that Trim spoke of in California.
The reason I bring this up is a little thing called cost of living.
In North Carolina you may have a nursing job that makes $45,000 a year. To live the same life style in California you would need to make over $60,000 in Los Angeles. So saying that someone will be making $70,000.00 a year can be deceiving.
You can check out cost of living adjustments here. Hope Jackson lets me do the link. If not PM me and I will send to you or you can do an Internet search on "cost of living"
http://www.reply.com/real_estate/research/cost_of_living/default.asp
Of course I do agree that any amount that she would make would be better that the offers in her own country.
Also, I attended a Community College here in NC. For those who do not know a Community College only offers up to two year degrees as compared to a four year degree from a University.
The college I attended had a large and very successful nursing program. The nurses from this Community College with a two year degree would start at the same pay as the four year degree nurses.
This is an indication of the shortages in nursing. The difference is that the two year nursing graduates could not move beyond standard nursing to any management level unless they did more schooling. The management levels is where the big dollars being discussed here are. The floor nurses, as they are referred to, never reach that higher pay.
Typically it is my understanding that unless you are from a highly credited school overseas, the Hospitals will only consider your degree as a two year degree after you pass the test required to work there.
This may not still be true though.
FF
For what its worth I believe that non u.s. educated nurses must pass both the board test and an english test. The Philipines nurses that do pass the english test then must pass the board test and out of that number I believe its about 20 percent of the philipinno nurses actually pass the board exam from what my research indicate, which is dramatically higher than nurses from other countries, I think its a mix of english and schooling that result in such a low pass rate. I would also like to point out that the rn exam is getting tougher because apparently the high law suits from inadequately trained nurses. Try and do a search on the web on international nurses pass rn exam.
Frequent flyer is 100% correct in regards to everything he mentioned. From the education aspect and pay issue. He is also correct about her degree being considered a 2 year degree.
I do think you are jumping the gun a bit here, I mean lots of nurses try to get into the u.s. and very few make it. If she well educated and got the right stuff she should be able to make it on her own without any problem. If thats the case she will be able to obtain a green card without your help, and when she arrives in the u.s. if the love is still there you guys can get married. You should keep in mind that things may change real fast, with her being able to support herself and she may think you aren't the best catch possible. "no offense" but that has happened to many, that white night in shining armor doesn't mean a lot when she lands in the u.s.
MasterBlaster
10-13-04, 05:48
The 15%-20% passing percentage for first time exam takers is very normal but the percentages go much higher on the second time and third time exam takers. English speaking proficiency is quite different from English writing, reading and comprehension proficiency. Foreign born nurses in the US are tested on written and reading English proficiency only. To put a correlation on the percentages for call center job acceptance or on the level of English proficiency of women in the "business" to the percentage of nursing job acceptance in the US is simply baseless. As a matter of fact, 30% of foreign born registered nurses in the United States are Filipinos.
GoodEnough
10-14-04, 11:02
It may be that 30% of the RNs in the US are Filipinas. The question is however, how large a pool did it take to yield that 30%? I agree that mastering the ability to read and write in English is far more difficult than mastering sufficient vocabulary to be understood when speaking. This is exactly my point. The vast majority of those taking the tests that measure the abilities to understand the nuances of English, fail the exams.
Very amusing conversations, I just wanted to get something straight.
Is this about getting a wife over to the US or getting a slave to make money for you to the US....???
Good luck to all.
Mook
Frequent Flier
10-14-04, 21:23
to whoever may be interested:
i'll post this in the other appropriate areas as well.
while doing internet searches for other reasons concerning the philippines i found this site that gives semi-street maps of certain areas. there have been times on this site where persons have requested to know or have an idea where a certain area may be. this may help
in the upper left corner there is a street search that can be slow.
in the middle there is a select destination choice and this works very quickly. i am on a high speed connection, so i'm not sure how fast this would load on a phone line (56k) connection.
the maps are flash animated and you can zoom in and out and use the arrow keys on your keypad to move the map around once you zoom in.
i'm not sure how accurate the maps are, but they seem pretty good for the makati area, which is all i'm familiar with. i found p. burgos street pretty easy by doing a select destination for makati and going to where i thought p. burgos street may be down makati avenue.
http://www.onthemap.com.ph
ff
My girlfriend is only 24 and I am much older ,when I am gone it would be nice to feel she has a skill to take care of herself, I do not need her income but it will allow us to live a lifestyle I enjoy and I know she is too active to just sit around all day and wait for me to come home.With the current 12 hour shifts she would have 4 days off , her income would give us a much nicer home ,vacations without much care of cost. Growing up poor I enjoy some luxury but realize it only feels special if I save it for two of three times a year. I intend to get a prenuptial and would welcome any comments ,suggestions on how to protect myself financially . although I care for this girl I am still realistic on how much they change once foreign brides become Americanized
GoodEnough
10-15-04, 17:56
Marc, have you considered the possibility that, once she's self sufficient, has a green card, and is productively engaged in American society, she may consider that she does not really need you any more? This is not intended as a put down, just a reminder that as contexts change, so do expectations and, inevitably, relationships.
Marc,
GE makes an excellent point. I'd hate to hear you got burned. These ladies are quite capable of breaking our hearts, if our hearts are in play.
FD
MasterBlaster
10-16-04, 02:45
All core books and literatures used in nursing schools in the Philippines are all written in English and generally authored by Americans. Not one is written in the native dialect/language. Even the local nursing licensure exams are written in English. Thus, any locally licensed nurse will have the best of chances in passing any US nursing exams and English reading and comprehension is definitely NOT the issue when somebody fails. The local manpower shops always get locally licensed nurses for placement in the US. The 30% could be attributed to the existing work permit and immigration quotas that the US impose on overseas workers through the years. Also, what you didn't know is that Filipino nurses are also deployed in UK and many European countries and have meet the countries' licensure requirements as well. If the US had no quotas the numbers would be a lot higher.
Member #2718
10-16-04, 04:44
While after three times at bat, I'm about as jaded as you can get, I wouldn't write off a 24 year old Filipina without due consideration. It is true that after living in the land of Hillary and Walmart many women do get rather uppity in their notions, I have found that many Filipinas still remain far more loyal to their American mates simply because no matter how bad we are, we shine in comparison with what they grew up with.
My father-in-law (currently on wife #4 in a country with no divorce and about 6 different family units) is constantly the example my wife gives as to what is wrong with Philippine society by being so "babaero" (personally he is my hero since women seem to throw themselves at him still)
I'll be blunt on the subject.
If you can deal with the fact that once in the US, she is highly likely to leave you after she gets the green card.
Look in the mirror, is the reason you couldn't find a mate in your original country because you are old, fat, unattractive, etc. yeah, yeah, we all hear the arguements, "I just prefer the girls in the PI because they are ( ). "I can find a girl here but I don't like the stuck up bitches of the US" "PI girls know how to treat a woman" blah.. blah.. blah.. this can be true for some but to be very blunt, on my trips around the PI, most of the guys I've seen don't look like a good catch.
From what I've seen, if your age difference is around 15 years or more, the chances are even higher that she'll leave you. Everyone says that Asian girls like older men, true for some but when it comes down to it. You're old and fat, she's young and cute, she comes to the states and sees many young handsome studs, get the kids DNA tested.
I was reading about somebody doing a prenup before marrying a foreign national. It will 99.9% be unenforceable because once she gets to the point of getting a divorce from you, she'll get an American lawyer that will point out that when she signed the prenup she was not on equal footing with you. She was younger and naive, she did not have self appointed attorney representation, she had to "marry you to leave the poverty" behind, etc. etc. Forget about it.
Mook
GoodEnough
10-16-04, 06:14
Mook:
You pretty much said it all. Old and fat attracts young and pretty only in the circumstances found here. Once in the US, the whole deal changes, or once in the US and the green card has been obtained, the deal changes.
I honestly don't think that Philipino women make good brides compared to other asian women like Japanese, and Chinese. Reason being that Japanese and Chinese women tend to be more family oriented and the culture is more male dominated. I'm sure there are plenty of people that would disagree with this, but just take a look at the Philipino's in the U.S. even though they were not born there or are new arrives tend to be quite americanize and pick up the more less desirable qualities rather quickly compared to other asian . If your looking for a true asian woman I think you should look else where, your chances of being happy are higher. One good thing about philipinos are they speak English which makes communication much easier . I personally would rank philipinos very low as wife material, unless the girl is unattractive and comes from the country side.
Clandestine782
10-16-04, 10:25
What other analyses can you guys offer?
I am relatively young (27) and I keep in good shape (190cm, 95kg) by a strenuous running routine (10km per day/ 4x per week) and I lift weights. The only problem is: If I want to have access to Asian vagina in the United States (being black) there is just not enough to go around. It seems that being associated with my brothers has not made things good for me. (It doesn't make things good in China, either. At least most people in the United States understand that being black does not necessarily make one unable to speak English or HIV infected. And that there are black people from other places in the world aside from Africa.)
And it's not that black men can't get carpet in the USA (since there is the issue of supply and demand within the black community). It's just that 95% of white women who date black men look like Jabba the Hut. And I am not too interested in black women.
So, let's say a young and nice looking girl meets a guy who fits my description. What happens then? I know that the passport is a factor in some girls decision, but I am not too revolting to look at or anything like that. I think that the only thing that would make me undesirable is that I am 100% uniterested in having children. Non-negotiable.
GoodEnough
10-16-04, 10:50
Clandestine:
I'm not sure what you're asking. If therre is any racial crap here in the PI I have never seen it, which does not necessarily mean it does not exist. I've seen a fair number of Filipinas with black guys in Manila, and the guys sure as hell looked happy.
I would think that the color of your passport here is a hell of alot more critical than the color of your skin. The passport issue is a recurrent theme here, and most, if not all of the women want to get out.
GE
Clandestine782, I was generalizing and but I think I was getting my point across, this what I said about being fat and old was not meant to say all guys are like that. But let's face facts, the majority are. I'm fat but still young and I'll be old soon. I'm not saying I'm any better. Just pointing out to the fellas to be realistic.
I was in the PI with 2 friends for about 2 weeks. Couple of days in AC, Cebu and Manila. It's like you're living in a dream, things go by so fast, no pressure of work, no stresses of everyday life, just fun 24-7 with friends. You just can't think straight during this time. Even though I was there for 2 weeks at the end of the 2 weeks, it felt like I was there for months.
This is a big clue as to IF you relationship will last, yes relationships are based on love, personality, etc but physical attractiveness has a bit to do with it too right.
If realistically you can attract a lady of similar attractiveness in your home country compared to the PI then there's no problem. But if a young cutie won't give you a second look at home but gives you long stares in the PI. Don't fool yourself.
In terms of being black in the PI. Once they hear your accent and that you have an American accent, they will notice the color of your passport, the blue with gold eagle emblem. They won't see other color except blue and green now.
Mook
To clandestine 782,
Once they know you are American you can forget any type of racial bias , they will swarm over you like a lottery ticket, which you are . Every living American to almost 95% of single Filipino ladies is a walking Donald Trump, a multi-millionaire who could easily solve all her financial problems. NO not even think twice about encountering problems
Frequent Flier
10-17-04, 07:01
Hi Clandestine,
Why so secretive if your young and single, just kidding.
One of my partying partners in the Philippines is a Black fellow from the USA. Both of us are from North Carolina.
There is Racism in the Philippines, just like everywhere else. Try being American in most cities in Japan, white or black, and you will see what I mean. However, there is no rasism with any ill will or hate towards Black men in the Philippines.
All over this board you will see examples of the girls with the white makeup on their faces. It is considered to be more desirable to be of a lighter complexion and the beauty stores are full of all types of creams that supposedly lighted the skin. That is a local racism that occurs.
Wait till you see some of the commercials in the Philippines on the local television stations. There are creams that lighten your skin, completely remove scars, no matter how bad. Creams that increase your height by as much as 6 inches. Creams that will enlarge your breast and also take fat off your body. All directed at the girls. It is completely hilarious. Most these products are from Taiwan as well as the commercials and I can't believe that the local government lets them advertise this stuff on TV. Of course it isn't much different from the late night advertisements in the USA. Except these charlatans in the USA do use wording to get by the FCC guidelines.
I've jumped of track here. In any case there are girl in the Philippines who prefer black men, some prefer white men, others do not care at all. My friend has been turned down before, but there was always another girl jumping at the chance to go and get speared. I have had the girl with me tell me that her friend either doesn't want to go with the black guy or in most cases is scared to go. I'm sure you can guess the reason why.
We have worked out a system where we will just ask upon entering a bar which girls like black men. This way my friend doesn't waist money on drinks for a girl who will not leave with him, which had happened a few times. He always has plenty of excited girls to choose from.
As for LA Cafe and the other free lancer places, if they talk to you they are interested and trust me there are plenty that are interested and not just because your American or other Western tourist.
My buddy and I plan to be in the Philippines in early November. If you are there then and would like to join us and see the action with a couple of semi pro mongers PM me.
Enjoy,
FF
King Arthur
10-17-04, 07:34
Clandestine said "It's just that 95% of white women who date black men look like Jabba the Hut."
That's real funny, but how come whenever I see a white girl with a black guy, she's invariably a hottie? And I'm not talking about interracial porn.
King Arthur
10-17-04, 07:42
Mookman, very interesting observation regarding:
"I was reading about somebody doing a prenup before marrying a foreign national. It will 99.9% be unenforceable because once she gets to the point of getting a divorce from you, she'll get an American lawyer that will point out that when she signed the prenup she was not on equal footing with you. She was younger and naive, she did not have self appointed attorney representation, she had to "marry you to leave the poverty" behind, etc. etc. Forget about it."
It would seem that the only viable solution is to just fuck, not marry, these women. Fuck em for a year then trade them in for a new girl. If you want kids, you can have a surrogate mother to carry it for you.
King Arthur, I disagree with the fuck'em and leave'em policy because we're suppose to be people and have a concious. If it's straight P4P then no problems but when guys are promising girls to marry them and them leave them high and dry that's just plain fucked up. There girls are people not animals to throw out when you are bored. Make no promises and play it straight and you make no problems for anybody and yourself.
For the most part, if you want to marry a girl from the PI and want to make sure it actually lasts. Others suggest marrying a girl that is already well off and doesn't need your money but that's almost impossible and let's face it, if they didn't need your money why the hell would they marry your ugly, loser ass, right?
I seriously believe that you must get a girl that is in your league. If you are old and fat and try to marry a young hottie, who's 20 years old, chances are that it's not going to last long once she comes to the US. Now if you get an older woman in her 30's or 40's then ok, way better chance. But that kinda defeats the purpose right of going to the PI to find a young hottie.
I know 2 guys in their 20's, married girls from the PI also in their 20's. So far their marriages are working fine they are happy and it seems like it will last. Reason being, these guys would of married the same type of girl if they married girls from the US, it's just that they happen to be from the PI.
So basically, if you can't get the same type of girl from the US as in the PI then most likely it will not work out, plain, simple and being realistic.
Mook
Prenups are enforceable regardless especially if she from the Philipines, because there laws are very close to our own. Lawyers from the Philipines can come to the u.s. and just take the bar and if they pass they are recognized as a lawyer. So, a buddy of mine who is a good lawyer says it can be enforce and with a good prenup it basically iron clad, and will hold in up in court, one of the things he told me was that you must keep your assets separate and have a list of what items you came into the marriage with and have your lawyer draw up the document as such.
As for the issue of f*cking them and leaving them, hell most of them will end up leaving us when they get to the u.s. so what the hell. You know most of the girls will give you lines etc. and lie to you so all is fair in love and war.
I don't think you should lead a virgin on or anything like that but if she a bar girl or some chick that gives it to you the first hour you know that chances are she in it for the pasport or the money
iI you are an educated black man, your kinda of shit out of luck. I think if you dress hip hop and is thugish, go to japan lots of japanese girls are really into black guys that can't have that urban ghetto look. I've always question why would anyone want to go down versus up. I believe that the Philipines are quite open to black guys as well. Even in the states, but your shit out of luck with most other asians though.
GoodEnough
10-17-04, 12:39
I met a 75 year old guy on the golf course today, who has a five year old child here. I know another guy of 73, who just started a new restaurant, and whose 20 something year old wife is pregnant. Some may call this a triumph of optimism over common sense, but I don't think so. These guys have, by moving here, given themelves a new lease on life. They're happy. They're productive, and the women to whom they're married do not feel at all cheated.
These relationships would not, of course, work in the West. First, the men could never hope to attract such women and even if they could, the extent of the ridicule from society at large would create enormous strains. It's better, I think, if you're considering the "May/December" route, to stay here, where such relationships are not uncommon. There's nothing hypocritical about this. All relationships are at least somewhat contextual, and the cultural context here makes these relationships tenable.
Rather then, considering whether to bring young Filipinas to the States, to Europe, or wherever, the alternative may be to consider whether you should relocate here.
GE
Pimpster,
You must have missed the original post about the prenup. It was proposed that the poster could have a prenup that gave him his future wifes earnings ! ie: a contract such as, "I paid for your schooling and getting you over here, you owe me XX years of salary". (paraphrased)
No prenup denying basic human rights would ever make it to court.
GE,
On the money.
FD
GoodEnough
10-19-04, 12:57
It's true, there is somewhat of an obsession here with skin lightening, and it's also true that the TV is full of ads for various skins creams promising to lighten and brighten the skin. This may be more a matter of personal vanity than preference in men. I have had a couple of black friends here, and I never saw one of them shot down because of the color of his skin. I'm not saying it does not happen; just that I have never witnessed it.
I agree completely with Marc 25; there are so many women here and such abundance of opportunity that racial hang ups should not be any deterent at all.
GE
GoodEnough
10-20-04, 08:31
Domino:
I do not know what else I can tell you, except that these guys are hardly unique here. I actually see more of these guys here than I saw in my 6 months in Vietnam, which I guess is not surprising given that, at least from the point of view of languages, it's easier here.
You're correct, I do like it here, though it's not (my opinion only) nearly as interesting culturally as Vietnam. On the other hand, it's a somewhat easier place to live and the pace is a whole lot slower. Vietnamese food though is alot better. Attracting non pro women is not difficult here and somewhat more difficult, though hardly impossible, in Vietnam.
I think you should empirically test both countries before making your decision. In fact, I could perhaps volunteer as a lab assistant for the experiment. Seriously, if you get here, send me a PM and let me know when you're coming.
GE
While it is true that Filipina have a thing about pale skin and all, I've never seen them really exclude a Black, or swarthy looking men on race alone.
Going with a white, black, hispanic. arab or "Turko" is a matter of preference, some will not get near an arab, terrified of them, but have no problem with black. Its a difficult social issue here, generally, pale skin, tall is associated with the wealthy chinese, being light skinned is equated with wealth, status etc. Dark skin means you are a peasant and got that way working in a rice field. Asians are very social concious and one does not marry beneath ones station and Filipinos are very concious of this!
Now the spamhog prefers darker women, I think they are especailly exotic, however Filipino men refer to this as "pangit" or ugly, they often laugh at us, why do you have a girlfriend (wife) who is so dark, you can have a light skinned mestiza if you want or chinese? Hey, I like 'em like that!
I think Thai women have a bigger problem here with race, after all Thailand used to have a caste system, the darker ones skin the lower on the social order,
Spamhog
Member #2718
10-21-04, 18:03
What you find when you talk to many Filipinas is a distinct dislike for Filipino Men. Its amazing to hear so many of them rattle off the exact same reasons. "they are lazy", "they are always drinking", "they are always gamlbling", "they alway beat them", "they are are always babaero (womanizing)". I have pointed out that the last one could be said of any guy, but the usual response is that Filipinos don't support any of their women and expect the women to assume all the support function, that is their real complaint. Westerners generally will provide some measure of support All this bodes well for ANY westerner (including Japanese) of any race.
So guys enjoy the hunting while it lasts. Someday they may actually fix the economy here and ruin a great thing for all us mongers.
Teddy Bear 99
10-22-04, 18:55
The mother of my godson came to the US when she met and married a McDonald's franchise owner. She eventually got a job as a waitress at Denny's here in the US. This is where she met a guy who was a valet, she eventually divorced her older guy, married this valet, and has had three kids with this valet.
The difference I see in this woman, is that she brought stability to this guys life. They both ended up going to medical technical school. He's a radiologist and she's a dental hygenist now and they made it without her getting a penny from the divorce.
Talk about marrying down?
MasterBlaster
10-23-04, 08:07
Member #2718,
You fit the profile of a gullible Westerner. Why do you have to believe any of the words of a ho? The only thing these hos are interested in is your money.
Member #2718
10-24-04, 06:37
Member #2718,
You fit the profile of a gullible Westerner. Why do you have to believe any of the words of a ho? The only thing these hos are interested in is your money.
Perhaps, but I have lived in the P.I. off and on for the last 20 years and continueously for the last 5. The build-up of info over time has been very consistant. As for an interest only in money, I have observed that is also a consistant trait of everyone on the planet. The chief difference being that the pros are more up front about it (which is refreshingly honest).
Wake-up and enjoy whats out there before you miss it all.
Happy Hunting
Reading through the posts I come across various opinions on various issues and thought I would add my own two pennyworth.
Filipnas dont make good wives are many indications ! Like any race, I guess it depends on your luck in the draw. I've been married to one for close on 22 years now, she looks after (but does not "control") all our finances, keeps a good house, looks after me and still pleasing to the eye and good company. We moved to live in the Philippines around five years ago after time in various other coutries. She is a number one and I have never regretted my marriage. By the way, I know many other foreigners here in a similar situation. There are many more marriages here alive and well in the background. With a good woman by your side life in the Philippines can be good, a little money goes a long way here. I have a modest but pleasant house in Manila and a four acre farm lot a few hours drive from the city. We lead a quiet low-key life and are never short of friends and things to do. For me and many others I know, marriage to a Filipina is good and life here in the Philippines is also. Choose your woman, select the right life-style and you should be OK.
PS Just got back from a weekend out at the "farm". On first arriving there stopped at the local shop and bought six bottles (total three litres) beer for 100 pesos, marginally under 2 $ US, a couple of packets of Marlboro Lights for another $1, some fresh pork for another couple of bucks then the wife set to with the bar-b-que. Salad items were home grown ... the makings of a great laid-back evening ! An early night with some good sex completed the day. I urge people to look deep before discarding the Philippines or the women to be found there!
Any suggestions,currently sending my girlfriend to college ,graduates in two years with a technical degee worth about 75000 a year here in US. Plan to marry her and have a child. Problem ,she has 7 brotheers and sisters ,what are the chances she will try to bring them all over here at my expense once the green card is given. She says no way but family is number one with filipinos. She is a province girl but I met her in Manila and am positive she is not fooling around. My biggest problem is that I still want to monger big time around the world and finally have enough time and money to do it, but I do not have the same feelings for any of the many girls as I do for my girlfriend. She knows I fool around when I am not with her but still tries to monopolize my time and wants to go with me everywhere, I do not want to dump her but at the same time I dream of new encounters. We have spent almost a year of time together so my understanding of her is pretty good, Her family has never asked me for a dime as they own land in the province and dhe could move there now and live without working in her home town which is very rural , I am torn on what to do she is 22 and I 45,any suggestions
7 brothers/sisters have a HIGH probability of trying to move to the USA, namely any empty floor space in your home. You home may become "squatter central"
You cant blame people for wanting to improve their lives, but if you sponsor them you are economically responsible. If they all can/will/work/study rather than sucking up public assistance might work out.
I have seen a huge difference between educated and non educated pi's. seems to be a rather disorganized culture. Upper class pi's disown the lower strata and I have seen a lot of "show offs"; lots of gold, jewelry, tackyness, damn cars with loud exhaust systems that make my toilet bowl flushing sound like Mozart.
EDITOR's NOTE: Posting of this report was delayed pending revisions to add standard capitalization throughout the text. To avoid delays in future reports, please refrain from using the "chat room" style of writing with no capital lettering. Thanks!
Whoa !!
This is my first post after a couple of years of lurking around on the board. I am trying to figure out what planet your from. I’m a black man and I have been out with plenty of hot white woman; couple ugly ones too. Even married a blond who was trained in classical ballet and modern dance. If you’ve ever been out with a true dancer (not a SC dancer) you’ll appreciate that. But I drift.
I too am afflicted by the Asian Vagina affinity. It’s doable in the US, but depending on what part of the country you are in you got to work at it. However, in Asia, especially in the PI its truly pussy heaven.
I spent most of my time in Vietnam, Singapore and Malaysia from 91 to 97. It wasn’t bad, if fact it was quite good. The Filipina woman I met outside of the PI (as far as Dakar of all places) where amazing, pretty open and lots of fun. But when I finally got to the PI in 2002. I couldn’t believe it. My problem; well not really a negative sort of problem, is I hooked up with a woman in Laguna Province so my mongering has been somewhat limited over the last couple of years.
You will have no problem-attracting woman. The type you end up with really depends on your personality. Just go over, show a little bit of modesty, respect, and courtesy and you will be totally blown away.
Centeaur
GoodEnough
10-30-04, 02:45
Welcome to the board! Your experiences and observations are fairly similar to what I have noticed. I am not black, and perhaps I'm not as sensitive as a black guy would be to possible racial overtones, but I have never seen that here. I asked a couple of black friends in Manila if they had ever exprienced rejections that they felt were attriutable to race, and both responded that they had not. Maybe it does happen, but if it does, it must be rare.
As I've said before on this thread, I think women are interested more in the color of the passport, the color of the money, and the kindness and courtesy with which they are treated than they are in skin color.
GE
Member #1005
10-30-04, 19:54
Centeaur
Being black in the Philippines will cause you no problems with the women, whatsoever. OK, some women will ask you some strange questions but remember this is only because they are not experienced to life in the outside world. About the only time you may face some negative attitudes is from a small numbers fellow travellers, who obviously don’t get out much, with their 1800s styled ideas on how they view the Philippino people.
As GoodEnough has said, what counts is colour of your money, personality and how you carry yourself.
Juniour
In a previous posting someone indicated that he has been married to the same gal for 22 years. I would have to respectfully say that is an exception versus the rule. I believe that filipina make terrible wives if you bring them to the states. This has nothing to do with a race thing, but more of the philipino culture in general. I would have to agree with the poster when he says that there are plenty of older males who are married to younger women living in the philipines who are happy. Thats exactly the point they are living in the philipines, and the sole reason that these old guys are able to marry these young girls is because the $$$$. I don't think that these guys would stand a chance if they came to the states, where their wives would look at them as nursing home material and look for some young hot blooded stud.
brownfunstick
11-07-04, 11:00
Just wanted to chime in on this issue, since I knowmany of you brothas are still way too concerned about the color issue in PI. Please take all of our advice, dont trip about it at all. I'm married to a filipina, and even have a very freaky flip on the side. They are really not that concerned about it. All they want is someone who will treat'em right. In fact the only time I come close to noticing anything like this, has been when we get together with other fil-am couples. And then it's usually any combo which my draw looks, blk-flip, white-flip...Still no one gets in your face or makes overt comments about it. Most times I am made to feel right at home. Kinda their way. BTW I live in southern california, and so our particular mix is quite common. Hell my nephew and adopted brother are also married to filipinas. Before I met my wife, I used several dating services. Each time the majority of asian women responding where filipinas of all ages, shapes, sizes, and colors. Even if someone gices you the "funny" look, it will be no more so, even less, than what we get at home. Best thing to do, is just relax, and enjoy the ride. Filipinas are by far the sexiest, freakiest, do anything you want women on earth. Then of course my opion is biased.
brownfunstick
11-07-04, 11:05
Fellas,
I am planning on a brieft trip to PI in mid May 2005. Can't decide if Cebu City or Angeles will be better choices. I like darker skinned filipinas, so I thought I can increase my options by doing Cebu, though any thing is fine in a pinch. Does anyone have any advice which might be better choices. I would also like info on a good quality hotel for a long stay which will be close to the action, and open to bringing girls in without much trouble. I always like to work from a base close to the action. Any advice you can give will be helpful.
Travel to Monger
11-19-04, 19:17
Brown Fun Stick,
I would like to offer some advice concerning your choice of locations in the Philippines.
Angeles City - Advantages
The largest selection of beautiful, available girls in the Philippines.
The lowest priced action for Western tourists with a standard set price of 1000 pesos.
The nightlife is all located in a central location. Most of the bars are within a 5-10 minute walk of each other. Many of the bars are literally side-by-side.
Many of the hotels are located in the center of entertainment district and most are within a very short trike or jeepney ride
The entertainment district caters specifically to Western tourist, although you will see other tourist from non-Western countries, predominantly Japan and Korea.
As long as you stay in the central entertainment district, you will be fairly safe even if you end up getting a little drunker than would be advisable in a larger city such as Manila or Cebu.
The entertainment district is set up such that other than your transport to and from the airport, you never have to leave the little slice of adult paradise. Ideally you can arrange to have your hotel pick you at the airport in Manila and transport you directly to AC. If you get your drivers email address or phone number, you can often arrange for him to bring a girl or two along for the ride.
Angeles City – Disadvantages
There is very little to do in Angeles other than drink, sit in go-go bars and have sex. Essentially, when you are in AC, you will either be having sex, just finished having sex or preparing to have sex. (maybe this is an advantage ;-) )
Cebu – Advantages
Cebu is the Philippine’s second largest city with all of the activities that are available in a large metropolitan area. e.g. shopping malls, museums, non-sex oriented nightlife, universities, restaurants, etc.
Very nice beach resort area a short distance from the center of the city.
Local SCUBA diving available.
Cebu – Disadvantages
Hotels are significantly more expensive on average and you will often be staying with non-sex tourist visitors. For some people the idea of walking through a hotel lobby with a girl that is 30 years younger than you are or is just obviously a SW is an uncomfortable experience.
The girls are more expensive and there is a smaller selection available for Westerners.
Often times you will have to use motorized transportation to get from bar to bar and to/from your hotel.
It is generally more dangerous for foreigners late at night, but I wouldn’t say that it is any where near to being very dangerous or even more dangerous than the big cities in the US or Europe.
So knowing the advantages and disadvantages, how to make the decision.
For me it comes down to how much time I have in the Philippines. I can only have sex 4 or 5 or 6 or ….times a day for a limited number of days before the thrill starts to where-off.
If I am only going to be in the Phils for 7 – 10 days, I will head straight to AC. I will usually break the routine with a 2 day trip to Subic for some beach time with an AC girl who I enjoy spending time with outside of the hotel room.
If I have 2 – 4 weeks in the Phils, I head straight to AC for a few days of non-stop boning to take the edge off. This gives you the chance to find a girl that you can take along to places like Boracay or Cebu for general purpose tourism or beach time. If you put in the effort you can find 2 or more girls to either take together or take one along for a couple of days before sending her home and have the second girl meet you at your next destination.
Hope this helps, when it comes to hedonism in the Phils you are only limited by your imagination and your little buddy’s ability to participate.
I will recommend some AC hotels in a subsequent post.
Travel To Monger
Travel to Monger
11-19-04, 19:37
Brown Fun Stick,
I would like to offer my personal opinion concerning your choice of hotels in Angeles City. There are several hotels within a very short trike/jeepney ride (or a long but doable walk) to the bars and a handful of hotels located within the entertainment area.
The hotels within the bar area are slightly more expensive on average than those that require transport, but in my opinion the 5 – 10 USD margin is more than worthwhile when you consider the added safety, convenience and cost of using the trikes.
That said, my preferred hotels in my order of preference are:
Central Park
http://www.centralpark-ac.com/
Newly remodeled, centrally located, good 24 hr room service menu, and by far the best staff/service in AC.
Apartelle Royal
http://www.champagne-angeles.com/apartelle/default.htm
Centrally located directly above the Camelot Bar, inexpensive, fairly new.
Orchid Inn
http://www.orchid-inn.com/
The long time premiere AC hotel, however as the competition has increased many regular AC visitors have stopped using the Orchid. They relatively high priced, the staff and service is often extremely poor, and the rooms are in need of an extensive remodel. That said, they have a very nice pool area with a decent restaurant.
There are some other centrally located hotels such as the MOTEL located at Kokomos and the hotel associated with the Blue Nile group of bars. I haven’t stayed at either of these locations but if I couldn’t get into the Central Park or the Apartelle Royal I would give these two some consideration.
Here is a link to some additional hotels in AC.
http://www.jenspeters.com/uebernachten/uebernachten_luzon_zentral.html
Travel to Monger
11-19-04, 21:57
In a previous posting someone indicated that he has been married to the same gal for 22 years. I would have to respectfully say that is an exception versus the rule. I believe that filipina make terrible wives if you bring them to the states. ... I would have to agree with the poster when he says that there are plenty of older males who are married to younger women living in the philipines who are happy.
I would like to propose a corollary to Pimpster’s statement, “filipina make bad wives if you bring them to the states.” My corollary, “Foreigners make husbands when they move to the Philippines, Thailand, Indonesia etc.”
Before I start a flame war here, I want to clarify that I don’t mean ALL foreigners are bad husbands in the Phils and I am sure Pimpster didn’t mean that ALL Filipinas are bad wives in the US, you might just say that the odds are not in our favor.
I am simply saying that just as many Filipinas can’t resist the temptation of younger, better looking, and/or richer men once they arrive in the West, many foreigners can’t resist the endless opportunity to experience younger, sexier Filipinas when they move to the Phils.
So if we combine Pimpster’s theory that you can’t safely marry a Filipina and bring her to the West, and my theory that you can’t marry a Filipina and move to the Phils and expect to be faithful, the only logical conclusion is that we should all move to the Philippines (or Thailand, Indonesia, etc. ) and stay single ;-), which sounds very good to me!!
Travel To Monger
Better Loving Through Chemistry; San Miguel Beer, Vitamin V and Brown Women
T2M,
I don't think you're risking a flame war.
IMHO, if we look at ourselves objectively, most of us would make (by just about any reasonable definition) pretty crappy husbands.
This Thanksgiving I will be thanking God for making me a man !
FD
T2M,
I don't think you're risking a flame war.
IMHO, if we look at ourselves objectively, most of us would make (by just about any reasonable definition) pretty crappy husbands.
This Thanksgiving I will be thanking God for making me a man !
FDFD,
I believe that quote probably nearly gives you Guru status.
Well done,
zos
After a amazing trip to the Philippines and having the time of my life there. I was contacted by a girl I had a one nighter with in Cebu. Apparently she hadn't had her period yet. After one week she went to the drugstore and got a pregnancy testing kit. Apparently it's positive.
This is such a tricky situation. Now she wants to have an abortion and 13,000 pesos from me to get this done. Now if I've done the deed I'll hold my hand up and pay. I really don't know whether she's being honest with me though.
Reasons to believe
1) We foolishly didn't use a condom
2) She sounded genuine on the phone.
Reasons not to believe her
1) She's sure it must have been me cos she didn't have anyone else around that time despite her coming to my hotel and jumping into bed witrh me within an hour of meeting me.
2) She refuses to go to a doctor to get confirmation and was too easily content when I agreed to pay for it. It's Friday night now. I've agreed to send the money on Monday.
Can't really think what else I should do.
Any ideas?
Vigo,
As a guy who paid for a Filipina's abortion here in the U.S., I'd suggest you spend some time considering this decision.
First of all, after the exchange rate, what would you paying in U.S. dollars?
Also, legally, with her Cebu, what would be your legal obligation to the child, if any, say if she theoretically couldn't afford an abortion.
Sounds like she's extoring your conscience to me. She and her girlfriends could be giggling as she places a similar call to some dude from Indiana. If you don't pay her and you've got no legal responsiblity, you could be leaving your genetic footprint in another part of the world, which in some way could be satisfying.
Stateside, I coughed up several hundred dollars to a citizen Filipina who was wearing maternity clothes just two and a half months after I met her. Might be a chance that:
A) She was completely psycho and unpregnant or
B) I paid for some other pendejo who was able to buy the Bose table top stereo I should have spent that money on.
ThunderDownUnder
11-28-04, 05:57
Lol, sorry to laugh, but I just returned from also an amazing vacation to the PI 3 weeks ago with two of my fellow Mongers in tow. Purely by coincidence (more like a pre-planned scam) one of my friends received a similar E-mail from a bar girl asking for approximately the same amount of money for an abortion. The one mistake this professional con artist made, was not knowing my friends history. Not only did he have a vasectomy 3 years prior but he also used a condom on the night in question.
Vigo, I'm not sure how you will know for certain, maybe one of the senior members can tell you a way where you can contact a local doctor and set up an appointment for her. She may even back out at the thought of getting caught in her lie. But I would definitely want some sort of proof before I sent 13,000P her way. Throughout my escapades to the PI this seems to be one of the most common scams the girls use to try and attain more cash flow. It's sad but many of the naive mongers succumb to the girls bola-bola. On the other hand, the girls who do get pregnant by foreigners usually have no way of letting us know or the means to address the situation. Which ultimately leads to perpetuate the cycle of poverty in this country.
Vigo,
First of all, put your wallet back in your pants. I've had the same claim made to me/about me/of me, whatever, at least a dozen times. Despite having had a vasectomy long before ever visiting the RP.
If she refuses to go to a doctor, of your chosing, she is being less than truthful. I would contact a local constable and tell him you think you are being scammed. This may cost you a little, but you may cut your losses by acting pre-emptively. (Sorry about the spelling, too late to look for my dictionary).
You may get her to drop the whole thing, if you demand a MD visit prior to money being paid. I can recommend a cop and a crooked MD if things get nasty.
PM me if you wish.
ZOS68,
Thanks for the kind comments. Much appreciated.
FD
Vigo,
Yes I would have to agree with FD. She is scaming you. I've had the same thing pulled on me and I foolishly came up with the cash. It was a lesson well learned. You have plenty of time to think it through. Wait for a while and then call her bluff. After she plays out her hand you can then decide if you want to fold 'em.
Mattrick
Well after some reflection and some useful advice from Friedick, thank you. I still was 50% uncertain about the whole situation.
I don't know anyone in Cebu who I could really trust to give me an honest report as to whether she was pregnant or not.
So I decided to employ some bluffing techniques. I phoned up 'the pregnant girl' and told her about my 'friend'whose wife lives in Cebu and is a very kind midwife. I explained to her that my friend has asked his wife to pick her up and take her to a hospital and if positive to somewhere reputable for the abortion. My ''friend's" wife will pay for everything and I'll reimburse her.
There was absolute silence on the phone. Then she gave me a 'No, no ,no!' and a 'Never mind, bye!' and hung up the phone!
Although relieved, I wasn't letting her off that lightly after a weekend of worry.
I phoned her back and demanded an explanation for her hanging up the phone. She explained that she didn't want anyone else involved. I said that if she didn't agree to meet my '' friend's wife " by Wednesday I'd have her come to the house with the local authorities and have her arrested for attempted extortion of a foreigner, a crime taken very seriously in the Philippines since it affects the tourist economy.
She started to ball her eyes out down the phone explaining that she wasn't lying. I said ok if she's not, she should meet my friend's wife and go for an anonymous test. Otherwise this will be pursued through legal channels....She's currently on Yahoo Messenger begging me to leave her alone.
I know there's nothing that can be done to her but I think she'll think twice before pulling a stunt like this again.
MasterBlaster
11-28-04, 20:51
Vigo,
Practically all over-the-counter pregnancy test kits are unable to detect pregnancy after 1 week. And, if it tested positive a second test would need to be done (of course, by a legitimate professional inside a secure health clinic!). The chemical being checked by these test kits is the level of the pregnancy hormone human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG). Most would detect at 40 miu of hCG and above. Detection of pregnancy using these kits after one week is NOT normal.
If I were you I wouldn't pay it end of story. I mean if she really is pregnant and that is a big if there plenty of time to get an abortion before she starting to show.
1 Don't give her the money tell her you will pay your doctor in the phil to do it. So, she doesn't
2. If you are over there right now, I would go meet up with her and insist taking her to the doctor for him to do it. If she refuses then indicate you are not willing to give her the money. end of story and go on your way.
3. Lots of scam over there you may want to keep that in mind, till you have clear proof of her intentions always be doubtful with chicks like that.
Lion Killer
11-29-04, 01:02
As Firedick says be careful. Another comment you may tell your "friend" is to tell her to go through with the pregnancy and if she is really willing to say its your child, demand that immediatly you want a DNA test.
But that depends if you really want a child or not, if its yours or not. Its really up to you. I wish you well in what ever you decide.
Member #2718
11-29-04, 08:48
In the first place, Abortion in the PI is technically illegal and most filipinas I now would have a bigger problem with that than they would having an unplanned child. The cultural element makes the claimed need for one suspect. Legality aside (which has never been a block to alot of things here) there is amply access to chemical solutions to any possible pregnancy issues. Ru-390 can be had from a number of pharmacys with a minimum of hassle (or cost) and at early stages would be the preferred solution to Vigo's problem assuming it is true. The cost would be less than P1000.
As for the girls reaction to potential police involvment, I wouldnt assume to much there since she may have a more real fear of a corrupt cop being paid by you, than any guilt over some scam. In the PI it truely is a case of "How much justice can you afford".
In the PI it truely is a case of "How much justice can you afford".[/QUOTE]
Too true.
A little more than a decade ago a guy in Angeles beat a "righteous"* murder rap with a $40,000 US bribe.
* The victim was found in a closet and the murder weapon was found in the room along with a couple kilos of a controlled substance. The "court" ruled it a suicide. Apparently she shot herself in the face twice, through a pillow !
Sorry, off topic. Emotions still running high. She was the sister of a friend.
FD
Virgo,
If you have a pic of this con artist do post it for us. It doesn't have to be nude or anything, so the rest of us can be on the look out for her and avoid her like the plague.
As for the girls reaction to potential police involvment, I wouldnt assume to much there since she may have a more real fear of a corrupt cop being paid by you, than any guilt over some scam. In the PI it truely is a case of "How much justice can you afford".Yeah that is something which I hadn't considered however I only threatened police involvement if she refused to have the pregnancy test. I continued the bluff telling her she could meet my 'friend's wife' the following day for a pregnancy test. Her reply was hilarious.
"You know what? I actually did the abortion today!"
Then she went on about if she had a test they would detect she'd had a recent abortion and she'd go to jail blah, blah.
No I've decided she was out for a scam, simple and plain and can't handle having being busted.
The night of the 'conception' was November 3rd....November 24th she claimed her period was already one week late and now she claims she had the abortion on November 28th. I'm no doctor but those dates just don't add up!
Elverselle,
I live in the RP every winter (Oct - Apr) and it is true, there is a lot of scamming for those who are nieve enough to be taken advantage of.
As for the cell phones, there is no "bill" per say. Most of the world doesn't pay a monthly charge for cell phones. Here one buys a "load" and when it runs out, you buy another. One can buy a load for as little as 10 pisos, which is about 4 cents! Most people text message, for 1 piso.
So one doesn't need a lot of money to have a cell phone.
Hope this was helpful.
Vigo,
Interesting lady, she is a little smarter than you think.
Conception happens at ovulation, which is about 14 days into the mentral cycle,
1st day of menses on Oct. 21th
conception on Nov 3rd
so, next menses should be Nov 17th
Hence 1 week late on Nov 24th.
But, I don't buy the abortion on the 28th! Not enough time.
And no, I am not a doctor, but I do play one on TV! Lol, always wanted to say that!
But, my UG degree was in nursing science
MasterBlaster
12-03-04, 09:39
Kids in Philippines seems to be used as a weapon against US Americans.
Any filipina you chat with the first thing she will tell you is I AM A SINGLE PARENT, what do you do for a living, some even ask you how much do you make. To me that is a way of saying , HEY I FOUND A SUCKER who will wire me money and pay my cell phone bills, as about 99% of them seem to have one, whether they have a job or not, how can they afford it? Beats me, may be by having suckers wire them money. There are very pretty girls there, and the Oriental look is a big turn on, but the way most of them think, even though some of them still believe in love, leaves a lot to be desired IMHO.Check the per capita income of the Philippines. At $50 (cheapest) a cell phone with prepaid services as low as $5 and useable up to 2 years, who do you think can't afford a cell phone back in the Philippines? Practically, nobody there receives a monthly cell phone bill except for the corporate customers.
I know quite a few Filipinas and it seems like the whole country is like helping each other to lie about whether a girl has a bf or is married. The girl will swear up and down she doesn't have a bf or any hks and her friends will lie to support this too. Later I find out she has 1 or more local bf, bfs back in her province, plus countless internet bfs that send her money.
Don't their Filipino bfs get pissed about them getting phone calls all the time from foreigners? And yes they all have cell phones. One girl told me she didn't know how she was going to eat this week as she was txting people.
I haven't visited yet, so this is all from the internet but I've seen it several times. Any comments?
Member twenty-eight thirty-two,
Hey, interesting tidbits of medical research seen recently (last year or so): A significant minority of women have independant ovation and menustration cycles.
I saw this on Yahoo News of the World or some such similar news gathering page. Anyway, after exhaustive tracking of a group of women which included daily scans, researchers found that some women have multiple ovation periods within a menustration cycle that were completely independant of the menustration cycle itself.
This explained the occasional dual pregnancy where one embryo was significantly less developed than the the other. Previously doctors had explained the phenomenon as identical/fraternal embryos with one "nutrient hogging" so to speak. But the daily scans showed that some women were actually dropping a second egg within a couple of weeks and getting pregnant a second time.
I don't remember the number of women showing this independant ovation cycle, but it was something along the order of 10 - 20 percent of the women studied, if memory serves.
Tatoosh
Vigo,
After my experience funding a crazy abortion, I also thought it would be well worth to tell a girl you've had a vasectomy even if that isn't the case. It'd be nice to see her reaction that way.
Stateside, my experience tells me it's well worth any man to ask for a joint appointment with the doctor who'd be handling said pregnancy.
A few months ago I pestered a friend of mine in his 70'S to come to PI because he was getting used by the girls he was trying to bed, giving free trips, loaning money, dinners etc and getting nothing. Finally he goes and even though he has been married before I tell him repeatedly "do not marry the first girl" .Well you know I tried to fix him up with a winner but he said not children "I have raised my family : Well , you know what happens, first girl he meets he is over the moon , goes to Embassey three days later to due the marriage, visa, and she promply quits her job and his free sex:because he told me he of course never pays for it:, he is now just months away from her going to AMerica, she is still seeing customers when he is away and of course he is paying for her and now she told 5 children and sisters who need to take care of the children while he is in town, in addition she now has credit card for over 600000 pesos in her own name , where she can take out in her name, when I ask him he says :I trust her" I almost gag as he has read nothing about filipin culture and knows nothing about bar girls and their mentality. Of course he met her at a bar but he thinks it is just a regular bar. We have tried to tell him but he will not listen and does not want to hear anything about his love , we see disaster for him and I really feel like taking him aside and letting him know she still fools aound but My filipino girl says he is in a dream and all he will do is get upset at me. OH yeah , now he is doing the paperwork to bring her kids over and when I say to him HOw in hell he plans to live a lifestyle he wants, he replies: i filed but when it comes time I will put it off : of course when it comes time his love will cry and threaten and this poor schlub, will be stuck raising 5 kids and flushing his retirement and future down the toilet and his love is trying to figure out other ways to part his cash. OH yeah two of her family members have already had illnessess which required cash infusions. I lke this guy but he is not my closest friend and I feel responsible. Should I talk to him man to man and let him know the realities or just let it go I feel extremely guilty.
Hi,
This is just a suggestion, so please don't take it the wrong way.
I appreciate the details in your report, but I know from experience that a lot of people find it very difficult to read a report that is written as one long block of text. It's kind of like trying to eat an entire steak in one bite.
I know how this happens: You're banging away at the keyboard, putting your thoughts into the report as fast as you can write them. However, if you could hit the return key every few sentences while you're writing, and thus break your report into smaller paragraphs, your report would be much easier to read, which would certainly be appreciated by your fellow Forum Members.
Thanks,
Jackson
GoodEnough
12-05-04, 05:31
Remember too that for most people, cell phones represent the only means of communications. The land line system sucks, and few people can afford to have a house phone. The mail system is a joke, and most people do not have routine access to the Internet. Text messaging is cheap, effective, and instantaneous. Sending SMS is a national preoccupation here.
Clandestine782
12-05-04, 05:40
I was thinking about going to the Philippines to find a wife (as opposed to staying in Thailand).
I have been to Thailand and talked with some other members of the board about finding a wife there and their comments were none too encouraging. For instance, they talked about the complications in marrying a bargirl.
During the time that I stayed in Thailand, it was possible to find accommodation for US$50-100 per month with food expenses that were almost the same amount (if one lives carefully). One year would be something like US$1200.
Since I am financially able, I was thinking about living in the Philippines for several months while I tried to find a wife.
Ideally, I'd not locate in a place like Manila. It would be better to go to Cebu or Puerto Princesa where the cost of living is lower and the girls are not as hardened.
Can anyone offer some suggestions about the potential pitfalls/ fruitfulness of such an endeavor? (And you can send the message to me as a private if you'd like.)
GoodEnough
12-05-04, 23:53
I think you would find the same risks in marrying a bar girl here in the Philippines that you would find in Thailand or almsot anywhere else. The major difference here is that you need not limit your search to this arena. It's easy to meet women here from virtually all walks of life, and your chances of establishing a relationship with someone with a "normal" job are much higher.
To live on the kind of budget you mention, at least here in Davao, would require that you go native. If you do this, you can get a room for about PhP 1,000 and you can eat (again assuming you eat the local foods) for a couple of dollars a day. You would however, be living well below the expatriate standard and you would probably decrease your odds on meeting one of the ladies from genus normalus referred to above.
GE
Travel to Monger
12-06-04, 19:23
I was thinking about going to the Philippines to find a wife...
Since I am financially able, I was thinking about living in the Philippines for several months while I tried to find a wife.
It would be better to go to Cebu or Puerto Princesa where the cost of living is lower and the girls are not as hardened.
Can anyone offer some suggestions about the potential pitfalls/ fruitfulness of such an endeavor?
Clandestine
I would echo GoodEnough’s comment that the risks of marrying a Filipina bar girl are pretty much the same as marrying a Thai bar girl. One possible exception to this statement would be the possibility of finding a Filipina who is brand new to the bar business and yet she speaks sufficient English that you will be able to communicate with her easily. In Thailand, as a general rule, by the time the girls are proficient in English, they have been in the business quite a while.
Your idea of avoiding Manila, given your limited budget, is prudent. There is a very active, family oriented net community called “Living in the Philippines.” The majority of the members are married to Filipinas and live in the greater Cebu metropolitan area.
They have a website with useful information such as cost of living/budgets for several different areas of the Phils and more importantly, they have a very active list server where you can post questions on non-mongering issues and receive several replies within a couple of hours. A warning is in order, do not mention this board in any way with that community, they tend to be rather closed minded when it comes to our preferred hobby.
Here is their URL:
http://www.livinginthephilippines.com/
The sign up for the list server is on the left side of the page near the bottom.
I would recommend that you start your search with some of the internet dating sites such as FriendFinder and AsianFriendFinder. You may not find the girl of your dreams on these sites, however, if you put in some time in advance, you should be able to hit the ground running when you arrive in the Philippines with a couple of potential Mrs. Clandestines awaiting your arrival.
Hope this helps, I will post some additional information shortly,
TTM
What is it about filipina women that make them not age as well as other asian women. I think that some of the hottest looking girls face wise are filipinas, but for whatever reason they seem to go down hill real quick after 30 or so and by 40 they seem to nose dive big time. Even the young hot ones I've notice that even the real hot ones just nose dive. Could it be the spanish blood in them, I've notice a similiar problem with mexican girls in the states as well. Anyone else have a comment on this?
Just examine the type of diet that the populace of the two cultures eat: mostly meat and full of sauce. Both cultures eat heavily sauced meals, such as menudos or kari-kari, and eat deep fried meat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Also there is the concept of the big afternoon snack-merienda. No wonder the ladies of both groups gain a lot of weight and do not age well.
Metabolism rates tend to slow down when people reach their late 30s.
GoodEnough
12-08-04, 12:16
The accelerated aging is probabily due to a number of factors. Sun Devil is correct in that the diet is not a healthy one, and includes lots of fried foods (fried in who knows what) and lots and lots of sugar. In addition, access to medical care is extremely limited, and even for those who can afford it, the quality is fairly low. Add to that the fact that women tend to have several children without regard to family planning or spacing of the births, and with an absence of pre and post-natal care, and these are not the attributes of a healthy lifestyle.
The fact is that people here in their mid-forties are considered "old" and they look years older than their chronological ages.
GE
I will have to agree with you about food, thing that it does make filipina and hispanic women age rapidly. I've dated numerous filipina girls in the U.S. who age like no body business, after awhile it was like going on a date with your mom. However I would like to point out that they all started out very hot! I think if your going to marry a filipina she should be about 20 years or so younger than yourself, because they seem to look about 10 to 15 years older than their real age!
I think stress is the biggest factor of all. I don't find Fillipinas living at home aged as much as the ones in the US, and that goes for all nationalities and genders.
With all the debates about wether to marry a Filipina and bring her home, you all forget that it has nothing to do with Filipinas. You can bring a native Amazonian living in some peaceful tribe in the forest to the US but once she gets here she'll turn into an all American. And you know what that is guys. It's this rotten, materialistic, phony and stressful culture (if there is one) that changes her and nothing else. This applies to most rotten "Western cultures."
I can't blame these girls, see, people are what they see and experience everyday. The only win-win situation is to marry them and stay there with them where people are warm and real.
Clandestine782
12-12-04, 13:54
I've met a girl who is not a bargirl at all.
In fact, we met in the street when I said hello and she asked me what I was doing in the PI. I replied honestly "Looking for a wife." And she said that she was looking for a husband. We met later that night and again the next night.
Now I am in her hometown and have met her father. It is very unlikely that she is a bargirl because if she were to introduce me to her family she'd have to explain how we met. She has also said that we can only have sex *after* the wedding (which will be a civil one), though she is not a virgin. She said that she had sex with her boyfriend before, but I guess it happened, like, one time or something.
I remember having spoken to a man who walked into the store where I worked (my night job through graduate school), and he told me: "If you can't get laid in the PI, you can't get laid."
The question for you mongers is: Could it be that easy? And what do you think of the situation surrounding this? What might her logic be in wanting me to wait until after we are married for sex? Because if this girl gets to be too much trouble or too "Americanized" before we've completed the paperwork, I'll just disappear back to the USA-- sans elle. We've agreed that she can send nearly all of her money that she earns to her family and that I won't be turned into a human cash machine for her relatives' needs.
GoodEnough
12-12-04, 15:12
The only advice I can offer to you is to be extremely careful. The story she's telling you could be totally legitimate, or complete bullshit and you would have neither any way of knowing or checking. If I was in your position, there's no way on earth that I would accept the: "not until we're married" routine. In fact, I would insist that she live with me for a while first.
As to sending all of her money to her family, be careful there too. Remember, she will not be able to work immmeidately in the States, so there's no possibility of her being able to generate cash to send to her family. Ergo. You will be (or could be) the only source, all prior agreements to the contrary. My advice? Set up housekeeping with her for as long as you can. Even if it's only for a couple of weeks, and see what she's like to live with. Then decide.
GE
MasterBlaster
12-12-04, 17:33
Clandestine782,
It is not a tradition there to let personal intentions be known immediately on a casual encounter. "Hello... Hi... I want to find wife... I want to find a husband" is a highly unusual circumstance. Have you really known the girl? What is her work? Where does she work? How long has she been working in the city? Does she make enough to provide for her needs? Was she sent to the city to be the breadwinner for the family? Does she have relatives in the city she relies on? What was her first job? Who are her friends? What are her friends' jobs? These questions are valid since it is really hard for a province girl to tough it out in the city. Talking about money before marriage is not a tradition either. You got to build a profile of the girl to really understand her situation.
If I were you, I'd give it time. Go to the normal "getting to know" and courtship process and see how she behaves. If she's saying that you can't have sex until you are married then do the same. Let her wait and see how she reacts about waiting for money and all. Ones a woman is a non-virgin the "no sex before marriage" is baloney - she's just using it like a commodity that you desire. Those words are normally said to nurse their own ego since keeping ones virginity is a social norm. That is the normal reaction when a Filipina feels shame towards herself.
Psychologically, those words are meant for herself and not for you. If you just want to bang her then just plan on banging her. Don't use marriage as a tool to bang her. If there is anything on your side, you definitely have time - try to know if she is really marriage material.
Masterblaster
Hard Stock
12-12-04, 19:56
I live here in the US in an apartment building with a filipina manager. She has several daughters who live here in the complex. About 2 months ago I found short black hairs appearing in my bathroom. I responded by writing a note with magic marker on the mirror explaining that entry without permission is a burglary- a felony.
Thought no more about it until yesterday. Came home and found a very long black hair on the sink again. I know there is only one filipina here with long hair. She lives across the hall and is a daughter.
Is this some kind of sick filipina crush routine? I wonder how much of my stuff has been gone through and what exactly she is thinking.
Anyone have a clue?
Clandestine,
It seems to me that you are destined for a major heartbreak. Everything about the situation stinks of mahipulation.
Why are you in such a hurry to get married ? Do you have a terminal illness and only a few months to live ? If not, why not set up housekeeping in the RP and see how she reacts and treats you for the next couple months ? If she fails to convince you that she's the one, then you're already set up to start looking for the next "future Mrs Clandestine".
FD
It seems to be impossible to spend 5 or so minutes on Yahoo Messenger without attracting many young and beautiful Pinays, all of whom are peniless and in severe financial need. As most have web cams and mobile phones, it is relatively easy to check them out. Is the Ph the most depressing country on earth? Is it worthwhile getting involved with these babes? The one I am now stalking needs c $250 each quarter for university fees. She seems like a bright kid. She is a business major:)
GettingTang
12-13-04, 02:00
I've met a girl who is not a bargirl at all.
In fact, we met in the street when I said hello and she asked me what I was doing in the PI. I replied honestly "Looking for a wife." And she said that she was looking for a husband. We met later that night and again the next night.
Now I am in her hometown and have met her father. It is very unlikely that she is a bargirl because if she were to introduce me to her family she'd have to explain how we met. She has also said that we can only have sex *after* the wedding (which will be a civil one), though she is not a virgin. She said that she had sex with her boyfriend before, but I guess it happened, like, one time or something.
I remember having spoken to a man who walked into the store where I worked (my night job through graduate school), and he told me: "If you can't get laid in the PI, you can't get laid."
The question for you mongers is: Could it be that easy? And what do you think of the situation surrounding this? What might her logic be in wanting me to wait until after we are married for sex? Because if this girl gets to be too much trouble or too "Americanized" before we've completed the paperwork, I'll just disappear back to the USA-- sans elle. We've agreed that she can send nearly all of her money that she earns to her family and that I won't be turned into a human cash machine for her relatives' needs.
For all that's good and decent buddy, please come back to reality! Look pal, I wish you well and hope you do find true love if that's what your after, but this one smells.
First, you must remember, these girls will do ANYTHING, to get the hell out of the Philippines. Does this mean they will make a bad wife for sure? No, it does not, but it also means there is a high likelihood she is playing you. First, she is not a virgin, one time or not, she lost that privilege. For her to say YOU must wait when ex boyfriend did not, is simply wrong. Could be she has been slamming a bunch of guys and knows you might be able to tell.
Honestly, Asian women who are virgins are going to be so tight, it's obvious. They are tight naturally, but when they are still virgins, getting a pinkie in can take hours!
All I can advise you, is to consider cutting your losses, or demand you date for several months, if she is a player, she can't hide it for that long. It's your investment, time, future, money, heart. BE CAREFUL! American guys get ripped everyday falling for the Asian bride thing! All they want is that green-card then citizenship so they can them start importing their family. Now days, they have the system down to a "T".
Tang~!
MasterBlaster
12-13-04, 04:50
Domino,
Penniless and with a mobile camera phone?! Sending money on the basis of a relationship established through an online service is ridiculous. $250 a month is about a months salary back there. Who wouldn't want $250 a month for lip service? I know some women back there who have 2 to 4 suckers sending them money every month.
Masterblaster
GT: Do I detect a note of cynicism in your latest post, which I enjoyed? The facts, as recently posted are: the Ph is one fucked up, God forsaken place. No wonder the ongoing exodus to Green card land. Who could blame them felling a country where having a job is a rarity and having one that pays a miracle? There are armies of them here in Japan as well, like there are everywhere else. If this guy is going to marry a Pinay, getting his rocks off should not be the primary concern. All we have is money; all they have is their attraction for us. So they have to keep some dignity by protecting their pussies. I would read nothing more in it than that: her pussy is her only draw card and, given the nature of this site, it is hardly a trump.
I once stalked a white sw who was a junkie and who had three sisters, all junkies and hookers. She too had to be wooed and romanced before she became my gf. We had nice times, me warching her jack up before I butt fucked her and she went off to work. Bottom line: people, Pinays included, need respect. If I was going to marry again, it would probably be to a young, cute, naive Pinay virgin. The idea of sticky seconds repulses me.
What I would do is marry in the Ph, set up shop there, have babies there, pay off her family, visit occasionally, send the babies to boarding school there/out to nurse and get on with my life outside the Ph.
You would wonder that such an inane post was soley designed to stimulate discussion on this board, not real and suspect.
The fact is there are many available filipinas in every major city on the planet. One needs only to do a little research to find where they hang.
Their situation in the first or second world is the same as their third world. They are constantly broke from sending money home to feed their own kids or their extended family et al. Until they import a troop of able workers their boat is sunk.
Yes, it will be harder to find a naive one here in the western world, but it is still possible. Yes, you won't get the quantity and variety of sex experiences and control here as oppossed to the homeland but if money and time is tight put up with it and do your shopping here.
The advice to setup home in the Phil for a test drive of the women is a sound one at the minimum. Anyone with a reasonable IQ should be able to figure things out after one week. You will find that most filipinas that wind up as GRO's are seriously lacking in domestic skills other than the skills we enjoy. Not having sex and much time courting before marriage to a non virgin is a major mistake. You surely wouldn't do that here.
Having the opporutnity to go home and think about it before making a decision on marriage is the wisest thing if you tend to think with your little head more often.
There is an unending supply of pussy in the Phil that one can't simply live long enough to enjoy.
By spending a couple months of the year there (best times Dec - Jun) superbest being Jan-Feb you will live the real man's world. Refer to my earlier posts on my proven methodology.
Unless procreation is your thing, there is little need for marriage. For me, I found a Filipina in my home town and had a kid with her. I didn't bring a filipina home. Why bother? It takes them several years living in the first world, usually as domestic workers in upper class homes, to be the best possible mother to your child (and to lose the accent at the minimum) unless you are very self reliant and a good teacher. I am neither. I like a women to do all the work. Of couse, I pay for it but the overhead of having a Filipina is one third on average.
Further, not one for keeping the faith that long (3 years), I will be venturing back to the Phil for some serious mongering in 2005, please God. It is in his hands as they say? right? Well I doubt to believe and hedonism is our game; go get your head examined - the one between your shoulders.
Dom,
You're sick as ever. :)
I'm looking forward to Pinay "skank" photos. Shit, you would have loved the old Hobbit House in Ermita !
FD
Clandestine782
12-13-04, 08:24
She did not bring up the issue of money first. I did. I've been told many times that this issue is something on which the lines of demarcation must be drawn clearly.
I don't want to stay in the PI because this place is a dump and the salaries for English teaching suck. So do the accommodations. And that's really about the only job I can do here.
What I've figured out in my life is: I need a regular supply of vagina so that I can function better in everyday life. East Asian muff is in really short supply back home (at least where I've lived), and that is what keeps me calm. Black and White doesn't interest me too terribly much.
The thing that takes away some of my suspicion is this:
1. I spoke to a woman (a Philippina) here at the school that I was planning on working for, and she said that if I met someone here, the courtship would only last two weeks at the most. So, short courtships are not uncommon.
2. A man that I spoke to a couple of years ago here said that he had done the "long term thing" and written letters to girls from internet services and they would write back. But, after a year or two of doing this he said that the easiest thing to do was go to Cebu and just find someone. He said that he went to a bar and there were 20 people working the bar and 1 customer at any given time. And from this place, he picked a 25 year old wife that he brought back home with him (she was 17 years younger than he) and she was a good wife. And this really *was* a bargirl.
Also: The paperwork is going to take a long time to finish. At least one year for her to get a spousal visa and two years until she has permanent residency. In that case, I would have at least a guaranteed three years, by which time I should be very near to finishing my Ph.D. In the case that it works out, fine. In the case that it doesn't, I'll be able to do my postdoctoral work somewhere in East Asia. If we see that it's not going to work out before then, then I just won't complete the paperwork at all and will send her back to the PI with, say, $1,000 dollars and my wishes for good luck. I don't anticipate many problems because my expectations of a wife are not all that high. I am not trying to marry a live-in maid. I just expect (at the very least) a convenient sexual situation in exchange for my support and a limited amount of money to her family.
The girl's family owns a very small restaurant. When I went there to meet them, they did NOT live a nice life. There was a brother there who had worked in Taiwan at a factory. Assuming that she was a bargirl and had an income, the family should be living a bit better than that. If this girl *was* a bargirl, she wouldn't likely be in this place (=Baguio). She is good-looking enough to make better money in Manila or Cebu, and the bar culture in this area SUCKS.
If the marriage is a trade off for a green card, I wonder what's the problem with that? If you think about pussy magnets in the USA, they are so because they have an expensive car and a nice wardrobe (in many cases). Have they spent any more money to procure a regular source of pussy than I will have by the time this immigration paperwork is over? Love doesn't have a thing to do with this (I don't believe in "love." But I do believe in "relationships of agreement.")
FD: On the subject of hobbits and dwarves: I must say, outside of the Wisconsin (Lefty)/Japan (Skinless), Thailand (Domino), they do do not get the coverage they deserve here; some, like Coma Boy, even want to deny them their just desserts (me). I remember the Hobbit House but it was not my kind of place. I preferred the open air bar, nearer the church but on the same side of the street. I had a good tour of Manila, lots of filthy places, some Smoky Mountain chicks. I had a born again bastard driving me around and, him aside, I enjoyed poking the sores. This time, in Manila, I will play it easy. Even though I would be more than happy to team up with a cutie, it is not a town to drop your guard in.
I will probably team up with a young, clean, pious lady for some innocent fun. I just don't want to meet a few of her "brothers" when they are on their way to baseball bat practice.
Last night, she was returning my perverted messages from church. I like clean living girls. Only problem is they won't travel to Palawan or Mindanau with me. Seems to be heavy, random shit down there. I have also been chatting with Pinay girls in Mindanaou who tell me, no problem, as long as I stay out of the Muslim areas. Hard to tell them Muslims give good head. All in all, I am hestitant about the Ph. Too wild, no law and order. But lots of cute, clean living ladies. Still, I will be there for Valentine's Day.
Clandestine: I presume you are in your late 20s, or very early 30s and very naive. If you are older, you are even more naive. If you are doing a PhD in a Ph university, you are even more naive. If you are doing a PhD part time form a US university, you are even more naive. Have you ever dated a woman, brought her to the movies, gone shopping for girl shit with her? Not that I really care. Just take some time out, take stock of yourself, discuss her with your family. And try to bring some romance into your life.
Clandestine782
12-13-04, 11:13
Clandestine: I presume you are in your late 20s, or very early 30s and very naive. If you are older, you are even more naive. If you are doing a PhD in a Ph university, you are even more naive. If you are doing a PhD part time form a US university, you are even more naive. Have you ever dated a woman, brought her to the movies, gone shopping for girl shit with her? Not that I really care. Just take some time out, take stock of yourself, discuss her with your family. And try to bring some romance into your life.
Your reply is not so polite. I'll try not to respond in kind.
1. Late 20s.
2. Naturally Unromantic. I think it's genetic.
3. Not doing a PhD in a Philippines University. When you do a degree in science at universities in the USA, they waive tuition and give you a living stipend. It's workable. And it's a full time Ph.D, to commence in the fall semester. So now what?
4. Yes, I've dated. Not much into romance. Don't know what genetic aspect of my personality makes it that way.
5. Family doesn't need to be involved in my private life. We've agreed on separation in that respect.
Do you have anything useful to offer in the way of information about my goals beside amateur psychology?
Clandestine:
Assuming you are American (not Chinese etc who do most of the bs science degrees); assuming you are in the Ph as part of your PhD (marine or soil erosion?), I do not see a sure and steady future income stream for you. Let's face it: soil erosion or marine life in the Ph can only produce so many papers and who realy cares anyway? My advice: finish your PhD and let her wait. You might even be marrying in haste because of PhD problems. Do you want to marry or do you want to finish your PhD? Sort one thing out at a time.
John Domino
ps: I don't do psychology either as I consider it low class witchcraft. Hope this helps and you do not land yourself further in the shit. That said, Pinay women might be a good bet. But look at who is cutting the odds.
Your friend
jtd
Gentlemen: I am having increasingly raunchy Yahoo messenger chats with 3 Pinay beauties. One 5' angel seems set to go to Baguio with me for a few days. She also stands up to show me her legs and other parts. She is 21, I am "slightly older". Is this love? Is he a wothwhile investment? The Pinay on line ladies are so sweet. Is it natural sugar or a coating to trap silly little flies like
John T Domino
One of our recent posters advised that all his on line date set ups were a waste of time. Am I deluding myself? Is this love? Or even a break from dwarf fucking?
Thanks in advance
A lovestruck newbie
Clandestine: Futher to my note and pm: Unless you get an ADB mafia grant, no real shekels at it. That is why the Ph is so fucked up. because of gangster outfits like the ADB, imho.
Gentlemen: I am having increasingly raunchy Yahoo messenger chats with 3 Pinay beauties. One 5' angel seems set to go to Baguio with me for a few days. She also stands up to show me her legs and other parts. She is 21, I am "slightly older". Is this love? Is he a wothwhile investment? The Pinay on line ladies are so sweet. Domino, how do you find such lovelies on Yahoo? Via the chat rooms? Which ones?
Dragon Slayer
12-14-04, 00:45
I have met many Filipinas online. My Davao Posts are filled with reports on how this has worked for me (quite fabulously). I have met plenty of women in China also this way in Chinese Chat Rooms (so what if it is in mandarin, good way to learn it).
My results have been positive as I noted. The Philippines is full of cyber prostitutes but they make themselves known very quickly by requesting "expense money" or "fees" to show off their tits. Nice ladies will do this without asking for money. Again, my Davao Posts expound on this.
Dragon Slayer
These ladies are so sweet they are tearing my heart apart. I am Yahooing one right now and her three friends sit back and help her. Me against the house. But I want the house to win. She is so totally sweet I feel I should marry her. She is 21, beautiful, doesn't smoke or drink, has never had a bf (right) and all the rest. She wants out of the Ph. Am I a turkey voting for Christmas? Such sweet, sensuous breasts. Carve me up. Firedick, is there hope?
Dom,
In your case, I would say give in to their temptations. You can always diet later.
"Smokey Mountain girls". LOL. I'll bet a number of the guys here are unfamiliar with that area of Tondo. A shame about the "trash slide" a couple years ago.
Clandestine,
It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself. If it's regular puntang you need, why not just regular trips, if living there is not an option ? A lot cheaper in the long run. You might also want to consider a fiance' visa. Easy to sell to her as it is the fastest way to get her into the states. Much faster than a spousal visa. You need a form 129-F available via mail from INS.
In any case, good luck. Just be careful.
FD
Firedick
She is so sweet I do not want to do her wrong. Her friends are really cute too. I have to bring them all out to a Japanese restaurant in Manila. But I am a bad boy. I really just want to treat them with the love and respect they deserve but Iam a weak man.
I asked her to pick a holiday spot. She picked Baguio that I have visited. She likes discos. But Baguio. Six hours away from Manila for nothing?
These ladies are so sweet they are tearing my heart apart. I am Yahooing one right now and her three friends sit back and help her. Me against the house. But I want the house to win. She is so totally sweet I feel I should marry her. She is 21, beautiful, doesn't smoke or drink, has never had a bf (right) and all the rest. She wants out of the Ph. Am I a turkey voting for Christmas? Such sweet, sensuous breasts. Carve me up. Firedick, is there hope?
You will be carved up and served to everyone else but you. 21 yrs old you say? You are just Yahooing and never been with her yet! That's right. Go ahead and marry her. Bring her here to the USA. After she spends all your money and gets whatever is left after she divorces you, you will then realize that the sweet rose has thorns. Sorry if you think this is harsh. I just want you to realize your odds against long term happiness. Best is go to the PI and spend some time with her, to know her and her hidden agendas beter.
Forget Baguio. 6 hrs for nothing. Does she want to stay the nights with you, or are you the ATM that will pay for THEIR good time and not yours? If she is serious about your future welfare together, then she should try to minimize splashing your money away.
Dragon Slayer,
Where are those chinese chat rooms? Are they in chinese script? I only know pinyin.
Got one. Hook, line and sinker.
Man In Japan
12-17-04, 19:18
You will be carved up and served to everyone else but you. 21 yrs old you say? You are just Yahooing and never been with her yet! That's right. Go ahead and marry her. Bring her here to the USA. After she spends all your money and gets whatever is left after she divorces you, you will then realize that the sweet rose has thorns. Sorry if you think this is harsh. I just want you to realize your odds against long term happiness. Best is go to the PI and spend some time with her, to know her and her hidden agendas beter.
Forget Baguio. 6 hrs for nothing. Does she want to stay the nights with you, or are you the ATM that will pay for THEIR good time and not yours? If she is serious about your future welfare together, then she should try to minimize splashing your money away.Genius8
You obviously don't know who Domino, aka John T. Skinless is, he is my hero, my god. Read some of his posts and follow his exploits, he is the master monger.
I am planning to marry a Filipina with one child and want to protect my assets . I live in a state where your assets are yours and not automatic a joint asset. Does anyone have an opinion whether a prenuptial is necessary and what the costs are . I am very interested in keeping my legal fees low as I have heard horror stories of attorneys finding problem after problem and the initial quote becoming a memory. Any insights would be greatly appreciated or any relevant web sites.
Thanks
Clandestine782
12-21-04, 07:21
I am here in the city of Dagupan and have found a different woman who is interested in marriage almost every day of the week.
The girl that I am with now (who has consented to sex) is overcoming her initial shyness and really getting into it more and more.
The question is this: It seems like the easiest way to get a girlfriend is to have one. There are other girls that are coming onto me and I don't know if I should stay here a little longer and see what they have to offer or if I should just be satisfied with what I've got. How often do you have the experience where you have someone and you keep second guessing yourself on what you could have gotten? How do you overcome it? This girl has introduced me to her family and is even in the process of getting her passport. What I've concluded is that she is serious about the relationship and very clingy (which is annoying but likely means stability). We have agreed to discuss children no earlier than three years later-- though she acts like she can't even wait that long.
You might have to take that promise with a grain of salt. It will depend greatly on her attitude. A coworker of mine married a pretty, young, medical-degreed woman from PI. She said no kids, don't worry. He being in his mid forties thought that was for the best, he didn't want to start a family that would keep him working into his sixties.
Three or four months after they had been married, big news, lucky guy was going to be a father. Ah, gee, she must have messed up. Too bad.
Not saying that will happen to you, Clandestine, but women get the urge reproduce and we guys get the urge to get laid. It's a stacked deck.
Good luck.
Tatoosh
I've been doing the chat room on yahoo in various differen languages. Anyone who is not fluent or damn close to it, in any non enlis chat room who tells you they getting girls to do this and that is pretty much full of shit. Its like a spanish speaking person with very limited to non existtance english going into an english speaking only room an expecting action from the ladies. I've been in these chat rooms and I can tell you that its not happening, anyone who says otherwise is full of shit. However its true you can meet some sub par by my standard looking filipina on the chat room though. However don't expect them to lift up their shirts after chats. You might as well get that out of your mind. There plenty of guys for them to chat with ratio of guys to girls usually favor the girls.
Now that young guy in his late 20's who is thinking of hooking up with the non virgin who won't give him any till after marriage. Furthermore this chick is going to be kicking back all th money to her folks. All I have to say to this guy is you got to stop doing the crack man. There are pleny of filipina over there that are way better catch than she is. You should remember that marriage is not a business deal, She in it for the money and it sounds like your in it for the pu tang. Its going to cost you an arm and a leg i you hook up with that one. You can find real live virgin over there that will actually fall in love with you, and not expect you to pay off her family debts. However the right hin to do is to help her family out somewhat becaus most of the people over there are dirt poor.
To the guy who thinking of hooking up with the girl that has a kid. I have never been able to figure this out given the number of single attractive girls over there. Why settle for sloppy seconds, furthermore do you actually want to spend tons of money on a kid thats not even yours, what if he a dickhead of a kid. As for prenub your pretty much sol because she will get a good lawyer and take half of everything and child support as well. The only thing you can keep are the things you had prior to marriage, and if you spend any money or co mingle her money into your bank account its will most likely be considered shared property. Furthermore if you spend any money on mongering etc..and she finds out your pretty much toast.
The law will protect you if you manage to keep everything in your name keep separate accounts use ONLY YOUR MONEY to keep up the house or any property that is yours going into the marriage. The moment where she puts any money into it or helps in your business etc.. she is entitled to a portion; it is up to the courts to determine how much. Most guys get scewed in the ass because they can't keep good books.
Fastpiston
12-22-04, 10:28
the last few postings are absolutely correct - all take note!
because of the pressure for money to survive, one must always be extremely cautious and sceptical about marriage. even if the girls are sincere, they are usually under very great direct and indirect pressure from their extended family. even girls who work abroad go spare from the financial demands of the family (filipina suicides abroad are common from such pressure): medical needs, education, starvation, climate damages and so on. the families are extended, often with 5-10 brothers and sisters, so you can see how the extrapolation numbers work!
bottom line, if a girl and her family really loves you, the family should not ask for money and sex should be natural. can't believe anyone would fall for a girl who says 'no sex before marriage'. besides the money side of the story, any girl who says that could be useless at sex ([CodeWord123] (http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord123) is common there so she may have a mental hang-up on sex). tread carefully, use the brain, apply simple common sense and all will be well. enjoy!
Clandestine782
12-22-04, 10:40
She has dropped her demand of no sex until marriage. We have fucked each other to the point of whiplash.
We have also decided that the very most that I will be willing to send her family is $100 per month. And that is under the most harsh circumstances. Her family did not open the discussion, but on the advice of a Philippino (American) friend, I decided to stop that discussion before it even started.
Someone mentioned earlier that there would be no incentive for a girl to leave her family and stay with a man who wanted to pump her all the time if there was no money involved. And that may be correct. Think of the amount of money that one has to spend in a Western country creating the *appearance* of having wealth to attract women. So, being realistic, it is not unreasonable for her to expect some help with her family-- all the while understanding that she has to pay her share of the rent/ etc, and that I am NOT to be pimped.
I do have sense enough to get a pre-nup.
Fastpiston
12-22-04, 17:47
You are clearly a thoughtful careful guy. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor.
No doubt about it, Filipinas can be truly wonderful. I have noticed that they usually respect a guy if he establishes the ground rules firmly up front.
I swear reading your post makes me worried about you. You must be smoking some bad pot! You need to drop the 99 cent store crap and upgrade to the good stuff. Here a couple of things you may want to think about. If she fucking you like there no tomorrow now, you may want to keep in mind if this girl only had one sex partner before and if her skills are far above that, she probably not telling you the truth right there. Its always bad to start off a relationship with a lie. Secondly, this girl is pretty slick if you ask me, I've known some none virgins to play her game. They tell you no sex before marriage and give in later on and fuck you like a street tramp.
Why would they do that you ask? Quite simple to try to prove they are not a tramp, you that they are actually classy, because if a girl gives it to you too soon, you think she a tramp. However the name of the game is to give you some sooner or later versus letting you get away. Because chances are she knows that if she doesn't put out there are other girls over there that are more attractive than she is who will put out to get the fuck out of the PI. So she uses her draw card i.e. sex at the right time.
Secondly if you don't think her family is planning and plotting this whole thing behind your back your stupid. All of them do, because they all have something to gain from it. Even if you don't send them any money its one less mouth for them to feed if she gone. If your looking to marry a girl over there and she even mentions money, just walk away dude. I've met some real nice girls that are highly educated, lawyers etc... but still lived substandard by western standards that never talked about money. You should ask yourself is she fucking you because she loves you or because of your wallet.
As far as her being clingy and all think of yourself as the winning lottery ticket, her clinging to your side doesn't mean she stable or not. It just mean she knows your her way out of hell hole PI. I don't think you can blame her for that, but don't look at it in any other way.
Getting a passport and what not? Dude, if you were in prison and your cell mate was a homo named bam bam, and someone was going to break you out. You would haul ass to do what you could to help the process along now wouldn't you!
You should ask yourself if the girl really takes care of you, thats the key with the PI girls that are from good families tha really love you. They take care of all your needs, without you having to ask. Do yoru laundry etc, not that your looking for a maid but its all the little things. If you guys just hang out go out to nice places, and fuck a lot. Hell you might as well hook up with a hot bar girl for awhile. Same shit.
Clandestine782
12-23-04, 11:58
I had to break it off with that girl. The same afternoon, another girl took me to meet her parents, and I have a second appointment with them tonight.
Do you guys think I saved myself from some future headache? I thought the girl was unreliable when she:
1. Brought twice the number of people that she said she would bring for the dinner at which I was to get to know her family and insisted on bringing large numbers of guests every time we ate (which only happened once, since I refused to pay for her to bring a gaggle of friends after the incident with her family).
2. Quoted a figure twice as high as what I later read on the internet as the cost of getting her passport and then refused to give me any receipts when I asked for them.
3. Cancelled one date after another when I wanted her over for conversation and sex on three separate occasions. She was very easy to find, however, when I wanted to take her to lunch or buy her a gift.
4. Quoted me a price for payment of the rent on her apartment that was 25% higher than her normal salary.
TrimKeeper told me that I should fuck as many Philippinas as I could because they sure as fuck would fuck me-- and not in a good way.
After it's all said and done, I am only out of about $200 on a two week courtship with a good amount of sex during that time. (She was pretty decent on that front, at least.) And it may be only $140 if she gives me back the ring that I bought her as an engagement present. If not, I won't worry too much about it since I've found a replacement so quickly-- and with a beautiful/ tiny/ slim/ tight body.
The latest girl gives me much better signals because she insisted on paying for the transit costs to and from her house to meet her parents. No matter how much I was willing to part with the 20pesos, she wouldn't hear of it. She's completed her degree. Her family is *way* Catholic, though.
Clandestine782
12-23-04, 16:14
Your advice is appreciated, even if it is sometimes expressed rather harshly.
I was talking to a new girl after I dropped the one that had all the suspicious behavior, but it seems that I went from the frying pan into the fire.
I met her father that night, and her parents decided that they were going to dictate the terms of both the courtship and the marriage. They even brought the mother's brother in to help them sort it out. And it's strange, because the girl was 26 years old and hasn't had a boyfriend in 10 years.
My plan was as follows: I have a job coming up in Taiwan, and know that if I process the marriage paperwork anywhere outside of the Philippines it will take less time. (This is keeping in mind that not having a wife for a period of two years far exceeds the trouble of filling out the paperwork of bringing her back into the US.) So, I was thinking about processing it in either Hong Kong or Taiwan.
Her parents came back with: 1. "We want you to have a marriage in the Catholic Church" (which takes a lot of paperwork and a lot more time than a civil marriage). 2. "We won't allow a civil marriage, because we are devout Catholics, and you must be married in the church." (I don't believe in God anymore than I do the Tooth Fairy). 3. "If you like this girl, why not come back 6 months later?" (I won't be any different 6 months from now.) 4. "If you think that getting a job is more important than staying here unemployed and past your visa date to court our daughter, then you have the wrong girl." (People in this poor, backward country don't understand that time is money. Chinese people do understand that, and that's why they control most of the wealth in this country and the local people stay poor-- but do manage to make it to church.) 5. "We have to have a party and invite all of our relatives." (OK. I've seen this before. You say that 50 people will show up to eat at my treat and it will be more like 200.) 6. It will take 3 months to plan the wedding. (What do you think you're hanging onto here? Someone that doesn't posess the same orifices as at least 10 million eligible girls?)
It's a shame, because she already had a passport and I already had a plan to take care of her immigration paperwork.
Pimpster: I am going to take your advice. Maybe there are enough girls here for me to find someone-- but I just have to get out of this town.
The most important issue here is *time.* There are some companies that want me in Taiwan and the agent to whom I'm speaking says that they want someone *now.*
Fastpiston
12-23-04, 17:50
Clandestine,
There are indeed some fabulous LT women in PI, but it takes a huge amount of time and effort to find the rare diamonds in the rough. If you are going to Taiwan to work, it will take you much less time to find a Taiwanese girl that is beautiful (lovely white smooth skin), very business capable (Chinese) and sexy (tall & slim). I don't think you will look back! Taiwanese have had more western exposure than mainland PRC women.
Clandestine,
DO NOT marry these filipinas who have been dictating to you. In fact, get the hell out of town and grab that job in Taiwan IMMEDIATELY. You write as if you are a US Citizen. Stay single, unless you want to be enslaved emotionally & financially forever. Dont even tell them you accepted the Taiwan job. Just say nothing, and leave w/o any contact info. You will be able to make a rational decision later on, and be thankful you got out.
I think that you are going way too fast in your courtship(S). You're not buying a new pair of sneakers here. Get out of RP and if you meet a Taiwanese, fine. I was married to an ABC and now a Filipina (from RP, but had "nannied" in Sing and HK). I wrote to her for 2 years (and others) and finally met her in HK; came back to HK every other weekend for 10 weeks. Then when she took leave to RP, I spent 8 days with her and also time with her family. Never took anything from me, got pissed cause I sent her too many "gifts", usually T Shirts or other goodies from my trips in US. Had a couple of people I know "over there" (both Filipinas) meet and hang out with her, gave their approval that what I was seeing was legit. Finally proposed in April 2001 and still wasn't sure I was doing the right thing cause it was happening so fast.
Take your time. Don't tell them that you are "looking for a wife". After you get to a certain point in a relationship, then discuss marriage.
Clandestine,
I have hesitated chiming in here because you seem like a lost cause. IMHO you're a shipwreck waiting to happen, steaming along in uncharted waters unaware of the reefs in your path.
You have asked for advice on this board, and, to extend the metaphore, many navigators have stepped forward. If their advice seems harsh, please understand that it is driven by concern for you. I am (as others seem to be) aghast that you would consider marrying any of these girls who are playing you.
Your latest post indicate that you may be learning this for yourself. Keep it up, keep your eyes open and your skepticism piqued. Take your time.
I would go ahead with the party plans. The bigger the better. Then slip quietly out of town just in time to catch my flight out of country, leaving them holding the bag.
Sorry if this seems harsh to you.
FD
GoodEnough
12-24-04, 02:57
Clandestine:
Like Firedick, I've hesitated to comment on what has been an interesting dialogue, only because the advice offered has been so consistent, and it's similar to anything I would advise. As a rule, I would suggest strongly that any woman of 26 who is still tied so closely to her family is bound to cause you severe problems later on. She's probably been conditioned to act as their meal ticket, and nothing you can say or do can change that.
I do no know why you are so eager to rush into a marriage with someone you barely know, but I think the same rules should apply here as would apply in the US, Europe, or wherever you come from. Tread slowly. Choose carefully. Make no rash decisions and, to extend the navagational metaphor, remember that the sea is dottted with islands that you can find easily before choosing one on which to live.
GE
I'll keep it simple,
Over the past year I have come across more Filipinas than I can handle, manly on Yahoo Chat.There just about everywhere and I can't shake em!!!. Am I the only one?
This of course is not a bash against them, but my goodness! How much is too much? I'm not really interested in meeting any at this time because my focus is more on Thai Women
P.S. Clandestine, Come on man, snap the fuck out of it!!! this is a SEX forum. Go and get your dick wet!
MeatMan
quote from clandestine
(people in this poor, backward country don't understand that time is money. chinese people do understand that, and that's why they control most of the wealth in this country and the local people stay poor-- but do manage to make it to church.)
you also forgot to add that people who think that time is money are the most misserable people living on this planet. look at the americans and the japanese and the rest of the rich "sorry ass" countries in the world and how much they devour anti-depressants on a daily basis. they rush through their busy lives trying to scrape every cent they could so they can die alone on a pile of cash while their children overdose at some party with the parent's money. if that's living then we must be in the basement of hell.
nothing personal, i know your view is shared by many comming from the other side of the world. that's why i just couldn't wait to get out of the hell hole and "live" in some poor and backward countries.
As a 35 year old man married to a good Filipina I urge you to look elsewhere. This is bad news. Stay AWAY FROM THIS FAMILY. Good luck and take your time. Find a girl that's lived away from her family, gone to college, taken care of herself etc..
Member #2718
12-24-04, 11:02
Matman,
Of course there are lots of Filipinas advertising on the web. The leading export from the Philippines is Filipinos. When its all you got, you export it to the highest bidder. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Dragon Slayer
12-25-04, 03:30
Meatman,
I have met more filipinas in yahoo chat than I could ever fuck. They love the chat rooms. Many are of the "cyber prostitute" variety, offering to expose their tits for you for $ 20 US/P1000 ($17.80US). I met a girl in Davao recently who almost immediately offered to remove her blouse and bra if I sent her $20. I told her she would hve to do more than show her tits toget me sending her $20. Imet another in Manila who asked me last week for money to buy a Christmas dress. I have only chatted with her about 3 times and did not even talk to her on the phone, but she felt I was "good for" the $$.
I like Thailand also and it was my sole travel destination for my first two years going to Asia. I was back 6 times in 2003 but skipped it in 2004. I find even the rgular, educated Thai women to be extremely avaricious. Take away the cyber Pros and the filipina is a sweet, loving lady.
Merry CHristmas and a Happy New Year to ALL.
Dragon Slayer
GoodEnough
12-25-04, 04:08
I do not mean to burst your bubble, but most Filipinos are as materialistic, greedy, and acquisitive as most Americans. The only difference is that their hierarchies of need are different than ours because they do not have as much money as we do. I could say much the same for every developing country in which I have lived, and I have lived in several.
It's easy to idealize poverty, but I find that it's largely incorrect. People appear to be motivated by the same wants and desires the world over, with horizons limited only by access to money and information. Thus, many, if not most Americans spend their lives in a frantic chase to accumulate ever more stuff, while here in the Philippines, people spend most of their lives trying to accumulate enough to live day by day. Middle class Filipinos however, are every bit as status conscious, label-driven and avaricious as the typical middle class American.
GE
Clandestine782
12-25-04, 04:23
quote from clandestine
(people in this poor, backward country don't understand that time is money. chinese people do understand that, and that's why they control most of the wealth in this country and the local people stay poor-- but do manage to make it to church.)
you also forgot to add that people who think that time is money are the most misserable people living on this planet. look at the americans and the japanese and the rest of the rich "sorry ass" countries in the world and how much they devour anti-depressants on a daily basis. they rush through their busy lives trying to scrape every cent they could so they can die alone on a pile of cash while their children overdose at some party with the parent's money. if that's living then we must be in the basement of hell.
nothing personal, i know your view is shared by many comming from the other side of the world. that's why i just couldn't wait to get out of the hell hole and "live" in some poor and backward countries.
you must think i can't see through your jive ass like glass. i am writing this post from hong kong, and i don't see any hong kong chinese rushing to emigrate from here to the philippines. (and i stand by my assertion that the chinese run the show in the philippines-- just as they do in many other places where there is unfettered money to be made.) nor do i see any japanese doing the same. just because you get to be the big man on mulberry street in these third world countries because of your white skin, don't think we don't know from whence you came-- and why you get to be what you are in the philippines.
don't think that bored young white people swallowing anti-depressants constitutes a nightmare situation. they do the same thing in sweden. in the philippines, i saw one agency after another charging people good money to set up an immigration package to canada. last time i was in canada, i didn't see any agencies for canadians who were trying to get right out of canada. nor does it explain why the us accepts more immigrants than every other country in the world combined-- a significant number of which are from the philippines.
Ace of Spades
12-25-04, 10:49
Clandestine:
I am glad you are finally out of the Philippines. I could see trouble brewing on the horizon if you went through with your plans to marry either of those girls mentioned in your postings. Honestly, those girls are not meant to be married, just fucked and dropped. They got too many issues and are going to drag you down in their deep bottomless pit of woe and personal problems. You got too much going on in their your life to settle for scraps and left overs.
Nonetheless, I believe a good woman can be found in the Philippines, but only after careful selection and time spent with the girl. A referral from a "trusted" filipino friend would have led to some better choices.
As for Taiwan, we have discussed this place many times, especially about the scareness of pussy on account of race. If Taiwan does not work out (like last time), I would head back to the US on the first plan out of the country and carry on with doing your PhD.
Next time, please be open to people's advice, we all know and understand. :-)
I was on Yahoo at 3 am Manils time looking chatting with a web cam beauty. The Manila internet cafe was jammed full. Meatman says Yahoo is full of Pinays which is true. But have they another agenda which gets them to pack internet cafes at 3 am Christmas morning?
They sure weren't praying to Santa Nino:)
Travel to Monger
12-25-04, 21:12
I concur with all of the advice offered to Clandestine concerning marrying a Filipina and bringing her back to the US.
However an extremely important issue that was not mentioned is the additional liability that an American faces when they sponsor an imigratnt's entry into the US.
I am not a lawyer and I have never personally sponsored an immigrant, however I understand from others who have that you are responsible for their support for many years, even if she divorces you of her own accord. This liability is a Federal statute and is outside of the protection that a prenup might provide.
To state the obvious, a few hundred dollars to get some advice from an immigration lawyer could save you many thousands of dollars in the future. Can you say Caveat Emptor?
GE
Not bursting my bubble at all! Of course there are money and status thirsty people everywhere, but at least in the PIs, just like the people many Central American countries, their citizens are more communal than others, living to be a part of the community rather than to rise above others. I also observe the same in many island countries, which makes these people are so wonderful and sweet.
Clandestine
Been in Hong Kong once, could not, could not, could not stand its people, or maybe I just don't like people living in huge metropolitans.
I'm very laid back and easy going. I prefer to be surrounded by the same type of people. That's why I come at least once a year to the PIs and Costa Rica and not South Korea or Hong Kong. I can see myself marrying a Filipina but not a Chinese. You are maybe the opposite judging from how you admire the Chinese and their money. This is the answer to your post: stay in Hong Kong where you belong and find a local Chinese, the PIs and it's people are not meant for you.
GoodEnough
12-27-04, 09:25
I think the communality of which you speak is driven more by rural poverty than any cultural ideal. I find that as people here move to the larger cities, and away from a life that requires more collective cooperation, the drive to share whatever they have diminishes. I agree with you about the genuine sweetness of the people, but again, I think it's important not to idealize, and not to generalize too much.
If Filipinos seem less driven by acquisitiveness and self-aggrandizement, it may be because so much of their national history, and the cultural antecedents of such history have been obliterated by 400 years of Spanish, English, Japanese and American colonialization. Remember that the 7,000 + islands now known as the Philippines were never a distinct country prior to 1547 or so when the Spanish arrived. Remember too, that regional differences are strong and persistent, and what's true about the "character" of Filipinos from one area may not be true about those from another. The lack of a national "ethos" makes Filipinos distinctly different from Chinese, Thais, and even Vietnamese and Loatians, all of whom came from reasonably intact countries prior to colonizalization.
All of this is by way of pointing out that the Philippines is a difficult place about which to generalize, much less to understand from the point of view of a foreigner. This is a place of mystery, and resists easy generalizations. I can say that the longer I live here, the less I understand, and the more I appreciate the diversity of the place.
GE
GoodEnough
12-29-04, 08:43
Over the past several months, and perhaps for a longer period, several people have commented on the inextricable ties between Filipinas and their families. Some have said—and not without reason—that Filipinas, even those who profess to love you, will always choose their families over you if put into a position in which they have to make a choice.
The author James Hamilton-Peterson, in his book about the Marcoses called America’s Boy offers some insights into why such intense loyalty is a closely-held cultural value in the Philippines. In explaining a key social concept called utang na loob, which he translates as “inner debt,” the author says that: “This implied distinction between ‘inner’ and ‘outer’ person is extremely important to Filipinos…This may be the reason for…the ability to sell one’s self without any sense of personal loss. The loob remains unsullied…Thus a cycle of mutual indebtedness builds up throughout the vast family network…unignorable…The only way out would be to…walk away. That leads to the gravest charge one Filipino can level at another, that of being walang hiya, or without shame.”
Putting this concept within the context of the Westerner – Filipina social dynamic then, the Filipina would naturally choose her family for that is where her obligations lie. To reject her family by siding with a Westerner, she would shame herself and thus risk ostracism which might last long after the departure of the foreigner.
I claim to be neither a student of Tagalog nor an expert in Philippines culture. However, the concept as presented by the author makes sense to me, and helps lead to an understanding of the phenomenon. It may also explain why Filipinas who are in the sex trade, yet appear unsullied and “sweet” can make a distinction between what they’re doing to earn money, and who they are.
Hope that some of you find this useful.
:D
GE
PsyberZombie
12-29-04, 12:07
It's just a 'Guy Thing' to want to fall in love with and want to take care of a woman who's young and beautiful and who seems to need taking care of ; especially if she's hot in bed and seems to actually Like the normally repulsive you
But please remember PsyberZombie's Law =
" Never rescue a Fair Maiden who owns a Dragon Farm "
I offer the same advice to any guy who wants to become some hooker's Sugar Daddy [ or even worse , her Husband ] =
The only thing you'll be accomplishing by supporting this chick is to allow her to be more selective in who she'll screw for fun or money behind your back
And if you do bring her back and move her in = make sure you lock up all your personal papers first . Because when she decides to hit the road [ notice I say when ; not if ] , she'll probably take a few days first to clean out your bank accounts , sell your car , and take out a second mortgage on your home
So now you can't say you weren't Warned !!
Member #1005
12-29-04, 22:51
PsyberZombie,
Whoaaa pal…….?? Please stop your ramblings it’s fairly obvious that you have never been to the Philippines with your Neanderthal nonsense here – tell me were you on the pipe when you wrote that? I thought we had enough clowns on this thread without bringing more to the circus – just where did you get your information?
Now let me correct you on a couple of points; the reason why guys go for Philippino girls is because they are very “loyal”, the same way that as many of you have attested is that they look after their families, and nine times out of ten, they are also loyal to their husbands.
I have been going to the Philippines for 17 years odd and whilst I will admit that Filippinos are somewhat naïve to the wider world, but generally they are not by nature devious. I have travelled widely and been to many countries and I always get the cell numbers of the girls I meet and when I call up Thai girls the first thing they ask is: “How much you will pay me?” Whereas when I call up Philippinos they reply: “What time & where?”
I recall a guy who married a Philippino woman, around 30 years his junior, who went on to develop Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and he made a deal with her that she could and leave him and begin a new life when he became too bad to look after. I and many others were impressed because this woman looked after her husband until the day he died, visiting him regularly whilst he was in care. And remember this was an attractive woman who had many guys after her but she still remained loyal to her husband despite the temptations. I have heard many other such stories of Philippino girls and this is why so many fat old men travel to the Philippines because nine times out of ten they can find a partner who will accept them for who they are and in most part remain loyal.
Contrast this case with a British woman here who recently flew back from Spain to the UK with her 82 year old husband and dumped him at a hospital with a note, strapped to his chest, asking someone to look after him. Then callously flew back to Spain to resume her lifestyle.
For more on this story: society.guardian.co.uk/longtermcare/story/0,8150,1350427,00.html
So when you come on and talk about something you obviously know nothing about please do me a favour and can it because we are trying to raise the bar in this threat and not lower it, you obviously don’t know what you are talking about here.
Columpuss, I have been watching this thread from a distance and my best advice to you is if you really like this girl then have her visit you for a while sponsoring her and see how you get on. I have sponsored two girls in my time to come and visit me, one Brazilian the other Russian Latvian and taken a Philippino with me to Hong Kong, when I was working there and none of them were hookers, all university educated, but the only one that ever caused me any problems was the Brazilian. However, that is a whole different story, but remember inside every Philippino is a loving heart waiting to get out. I have seen more “so-called” regular girls from “all countries” who are much more devious than some of these former bar girls who do know where their bread is buttered.
PsyberZombie, you dazzled us yesterday with your lack of intellect as well as bastardising the English language in the process; your grammar and command of English is appalling. I have never seen commas and semi colons used in the way you have used them. There are many girls working in McDonalds in Manila and throughout the Philippines who have a better grasp of English than you. Now tell me how do you expect people to take you seriously posting such misogynistic garbage? If some of you guys knew how to treat women you would get a much better result out of them.
Jackson – I can sympathise with you when you are finding yourself having to actually edit someone’s poorly written post. It must be especially frustrating when they don’t even get their facts straight.
Juniour
I don't believe that filipina are that loyal compared to other asian women, look at the divorce rate over there and look at the number of guys who get dumped by their import filipina. One of the things that everyone here forgets is that in most intances young filipina marrying some old guy is not that she loves him, but its her way out of hell hole end of story. Honestly, how many of those young filpinas hook up with grandpa filipino over there that have an average income, you don't. So, people need to drop that loyal shit right now, they hooking up for the $$$ and the visa. If the guy was flat broke how long you think she be loyal? Furthermore if you look at filipina in the u.s. they are just likely to leave you as an american woman. If you are looking for loyality, go get someone from china, thailand, or maybe mexico you have a higher chance of them being loyal to you. Filipino have no culture, because they have been ruled by so many different countries, so its a mix of a little here and a little there.
We like filipino because we can fucking communicate with them, unlike other women from third world country.
Junior,
Agree with you about psyberzombie. Minor correction, I think you mean Clandestine in your post and not me.
GoodEnough
12-30-04, 15:46
First of all, the divorce rate over here is zero, for the simple reason that there is no divorce permitted under law. Second, to assert that "Filipino (sic) have no culture," is patently absurd. The fact is, that successive years of colonialization changed the culture, certainly, but did not obliterate it, forcing Filipinos to create a synthesis of divergent influences.
For someone who comes here occassionally, samples the local merchandise and then derisively dismisses an entire country as having no culture evidences, if nothing else, a total lack of understanding or perhaps no interest in understanding. Filipinas are neither loyal nor disloyal. They are, after all, individuals and like individuals all over the world, differ from each other.
GE
Member #1005
12-30-04, 23:48
Now that we are back to having an intelligent conversation here; on second thoughts yes, maybe I might have over sold the virtues of the Philippino woman.
But to be fair, ask yourself this one question: If these guys, who’s young brides have left them, soon after marriage, had married a Thai, Chinese or Mexican woman would the outcome have been any different?
I say this because it takes two to tango and from personal experience some of the guys I have seen married to Philippinos are not exactly the most accommodating of personalities and in my opinion I believe it would take a very exceptional woman of any nationality to put up with some of these guys.
However, to provide a balanced view we do around once every six months see the occasional story in the media about a young bride who killed her husband just for financial gain. The last one I can recall is the case of a women and her scheming lover who slowly poisoned her husband then cut up the body and fed it to animals. Anyway, he also had two young children and the couple held onto them just for the money. What I found sad about this is that the guy was only six years older than his wife. But this is strictly in the 10 percent; for my money and I hope I am right I believe if you find a good one then you should stick with them.
Columpuss
Whooops, sorry must have been too much alcohol the night before. Clandestine, my earlier post was meant for you.
Juniour
Good enough,
From what I have read prior to Spanish rule Filipino were considered savage much like the Native American Indian. With no written language and tribal in nature etc.. Even their language,religion, etc are spanish base throw in some chinese and american you have the filipines. For whatever reason filipino are not proud of being filipino, they always make a point that they are mix with chinese or spanish blood etc...With an attitude like that it is easy to throw away your culture.
Juniour, well in response, I would have to say that if push came to shove I would marry a mexican or chinese lady than a filipino. My reason being that for whatever reason in those culture women are willing to put up with more crap from the guys. In chinese its a culture thing to be dominated by men and they are trained from a young age to accept their place. If you look at the chinese in the u.s. they are less likely to blend into american culture than the filipina the same thing can be said of mexican women. We are not talking about materialistic attitude or being bitchy we are only talking about with how much they will endure.
When i said divorce rate i should have said separated. If your going to marry a filipina just keep her over there. When ever I retire I plan to get a huge ass house over there find some fine looking young filipina and shack up with her for six months or so a year. NO need to bring her back to the states, besides in most instances you can provide a much better life for her over there than if you brought her back to the states. PI is like mexico, both thes countries will never amount to anything, because of the culture and government.
i am not the most experienced international traveller on this forum, but i've spent time in the philippines, japan, hong kong, singapore and, for what it's worth, mexico and canada. i've sampled women from brothels in nevada, too many amp's to count, sw from probably two dozen countries, and amatures from around the world. by far the best experience(s) of my life were with chinese women, both in hong kong and stateside. that said, i must agree with those poster's who champion the filipina woman.
i lived in p.i. for over year, and i married my first wife there. she was a couple of years older than i, i met her in a bar where she was working for drinks (and more). i would still be married to her if i hadn't been so young and foolish at the time. she was cute, smart, very hard working, dedicated, loyal and f*cked like a rabid weasel whenever i had the urge (which was often; i was 20 years old). i have posted before that she would have stepped in front of a speeding train for me. if i had ever gotten into a fight with someone in her presence, she would literally have carved them like a thanksgiving turkey. she offered to do this more than once in p.i. to men who were talking about robbing me while speaking tagalog. this was before i learned the language. (after i learned the language, i took over that chore for myself, and you should have seen the looks on their faces when this farang responded in the native tongue!).
i have known filipina women who have been very mercenary, but i have known far more who have been extremely loyal. i mean extremely loyal, tending to sick old men, changing their [CodeWord131] (http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord131), spoon feeding them and doing it all for an estate valued in the low four digits. there is an extreme culture of loyalty manifest in the typical filipina woman. they usually like americans (we have quite a history in their country and get along with most quite well with the exception of the moros in the south). when they don't like us, they have a wary respect. i had some pretty hairy experiences when i was there, but that was during the wild and wooley days of martial law.
as i said, i prefer chinese women, and i think they are generally just as loyal, but the cultural differences are significantly greater, the language barrier is significantly greater, and it is just harder to relate to and understand them, even when communication is good. chinese women are typically more attractive to me physically, although there are many filipina women who are just flat beautiful. any comparison to american or other western women leaves the non-asians looking course, crude and definitely of a lower caliber. this is, once again, my opinion.
another curious thing i have noticed (and i haven't really seen anyone mention it)... i have had very, very few cases where an asian woman is less than scrupulously clean. maybe because economics dictate that a different class of woman works "the trade" in asian countries, but i have always been amazed at this fact. the typical american or european sw can be a filthy, smelly skank, but the typical asian working girl, of whom i have sampled more than a few (hundred), seemingly sets a higher standard of personal hygene. forget mexicans; i won't even comment, other than to say that i am permanently turned off to latinas for this reason. one too many bad ones. does anyone else have any feedback on this point?
just my humble opinion.
spike, out...
I add that every filipina I've met has also been super clean, and pretty well dressed. Funny. Ask them for a picture of who they looked like when they first arrived in the USA (prior to dumping H #1) and what they look like today and it's two (2) different women. When they arrive, most come from a very conservative background (even the bar girls). Their family will pressure them into sending money every month, etc. (it's part of the deal getting a girl who will usually not gain weight and age gracefully). Their family is the most important thing to them. As they get here, they adjust to USA. The hairstyles, clothing, and makeup make them look like they grew up here. They go home and fry fish that smells like all hell, but for the most part incorporate themselves into living here. The girls I've met are all hardcore cooks when it comes to filipina foods (which for the most part are pretty good), and rice is served with most everything.
Most of the filipinas I've met will bang like a rabbit. That being said, I've known more than a few to cheat, or just dump H#1 after a couple of years. I'm sure there are guys with a conservative woman who will remain loyal.
As to loyalty, they are loyal to their family first and you second (not that that is a bad thing, but a truth). A husband to these girls is a ticket to support. Some will be loyal and some wont. You can't make a blanket statement about them either way when it comes to loyalty.
As to Jealosy, most I have met were jealous nuts. Its like dating a spanish woman. If you can't deal with a girl acting like a baby once in a while, don't get involved. Again, this isn't meant to stereotype, just inform of my experiences.
As to manipulation. They will manipulate you. The culture they come from has no problem asking for money. No problem at all. Their family will call for money, beg about problems, etc. It's part of the culture (an unattractive part). The girls don't have a problem with age, because they look for stability and financial ability in a husband. Just a truth.
For the most part, they have redeeming qualities. The problem is that many are screwed up in the head. Just my opinion.
GoodEnough
12-31-04, 18:23
Thanks for your very articulate and reasoned defense of Filipinas. I agree. Most are fiercely loyal, and will literally love you to death. I have just come from a New Year's Eve party, comprised largely of expat men and their Filipina wives/girlfriends. What I saw there reinforced everything you said. Once a Filipina decides she loves you, God help anyone who tries to get in between.
GE
I was married to a flip for 7years had great wife all sept the sex, she was a virgin good girl and would not do anal would try bj but would stop to jack me off ot finidsh.
I dated and LBFM here in the states 4'11 95lbs loved to fuck anal bj deepthroat,. the works nice lil spinner, but had an attitude and issues so i booted her out the door.
Sure wish my first wife fucked like the GF or the GF had the attitude of my first wife lol.. would love to had them both hehe.
Oh well my take is ALL flips are insainly jelouis. but some can make great house wifes and some can be great at sex - I am looking for the mix of both worlds - I have looked at some dating sites like cherrybloosoms and started chating with young ladies I am looking for qualities in my ex wife that I could hook up with and maybe teach her to be more sexualy like my GF.
Any thoughts? On grabing a nice young spiner virgin and trying to teach her to be a ***** in the bedroom. Anyone done this with anyluck? please report your story and if you tried it and it failed please tell us about that.
One of the things that I don't think you guys fully appreciate about filipinas or women in third world countries are the fact that they will be loyal to you, do this and that for you while you are their husband, boyfriend in their country. Consider that you have a huge advantage "think of yourself as donald trump", over there where you can provide a way better life for them. You must never forget that you are their meal ticket. Guys who suggest that filipina are way loyal should look at the number of guys that get dumped once the girl manages to get on her feet upon getting to the u.s. Sure you can cut and splice and say well I know of this one instance where the guy was dying and his wife was taking care of him, but that is the exception versus the rule. I would agree with you that if you in your late 50 or early 60's and you marry some young 20 something butt ugly uneducated filipina chick and bring her back to the states, chances are that she will stay with you if your personality isn't shitty. If however you are 50's something average income, and she a fine honey, she going to be out of there as soon as she gets her papers.
If you look at the broader picture, more guys get burned by filipinas in everyday life and even on this board. I will state this again, if your going to hook up with a filipina its better just to keep them over there, where they will be loyal to you and think you as a trophy husband, hell many of them will turn a blind eye to you cheating on them, because if they leave you their not going to get jack over there. They rather put up with all sorts of shit, versus going back to the life where they came from without a future.
I met a filipina over the net. She was beautiful I went to meet her she blew me away. I am in my early 20s and so is she I just love Asian pussy that has not been Americanized.. She fucked my brains out. Over the next months I spent thousands of dollars on her and her family phone cards, school, medicine, food and fishing equipment etc.... What was my reward two STDS one which will be with me for the rest of my life. Its called HPV though not fatal from time to time it causes little lumps of painless flesh to grow on the one thing that made me proud, my above average..... well you know the rest. This is not a attack on the filipinas or the Philippines cause the woman are wonderful and the hospitality of the country is like no other but if you get involved with one those ladies follow the highway signs proceed with caution.
Member #1005
01-05-05, 22:04
I hear what you are saying, but I believe you are painting the whole of the Philippines with a very wide brush here. Yes, l agree many guy do get burned but as l have said in an earlier post, ask yourself if the same outcome would not have happened had they been married to any other nationality?
The truth is despite the poverty and other factors you forget that this also happens at home, there are many girls from let’s say Redneckville who move to the big cities and get into relationships with much older guys solely for the purpose of a better life or financial gain. Just look in California, some babe hooks up with someone much older of status and she says its not about the looks but he has a great personality, like no one else has their own personality. But as in this situation and in the others with Filippinas it’s a case of buyer beware. Look any guy who goes to the Philippines or any country for a short period, with the intention of getting married is asking for trouble. You can see these people on flights to and from the Philippines and unfortunately many are not worldly wise. You don’t need to be an expert to see that these marriages will not work out.
For my money Philippinos generally are less mercenary than many other races of girls you will find, I have heard more good stories than negative about Philippinos. The worst I have seen is the Russians, followed by some other eastern Europeans. Some Russian girls don’t even pretend to be in love with the guy and yet some of these guys still go ahead with marrying these girls, trying to make a go of it and these girls can be very ruthless.
Basically, my advice to anyone considering marriage is first take them out to dinner, not to a bar, but neutral ground and see how they behave to other local people, the restaurant staff, etc. If they start barking orders at the staff and ordering expensive items that they play around with on their plate and don’t eat or finish. Take my advice here get rid of them.
Second, if they pass that test and seem trustworthy and you still want to pursue a relationship then before marrying these girls is let them come and stay with you. I know some people quibble about the cost of paying for a ticket but let me assure you that $2,000 will cost you a great deal less if the relationship doesn’t work out. You will see the true side of any girl when she’s staying at your place.
The one down side of Filippinos generally is that they are quite naïve to the true extent of other people’s intentions. As I recall from personal experience, when I took this Cebuano girl with me to Hong Kong, ten odd years ago. What you will find is other devious Philippinos will either try to take advantage of them or try to manipulate then to their own advantage.
The message here is that there are many good ones to be found but you have to look to find them.
Juniour
Hate to disagree with you but I know dozens of Fil-Am couples, most are guys in their 40's on up with wives in their mid 20's on up and haven't seen what you describe. I belong to a larger group, MAG-ANAK, perhaps thousands of couples, and know of maybe 3 breakups in the last 3 or 4 years. I don't know the people involved, just have heard of the break ups. The only Fil-Am breakups that I know of persinally are a couple of American guys dumped their Filipina wives (early 50's, the ladies) for younger women, one of whom was a 29 YO single Filipina nurse (guy is an MD).
But hey, if she does go splitsville, lick your wounds, save up $2 Grand and start the "interviewing" process all over again, LOL. You only live once!
Juniour,
I'm not stating that every single filipina are gold digger, but I firmly believe tthat if you marry one and bring one back to the states that is half way attractive and your 10 to 15 years older than her, you might as well get a divorce lawyer ready. As I've stated before that if you plan to live over there or have a relationship over there and keep things over here, you have a huge edge over them, justs keep thinking of yourself as Donald Trump rich. The moment you bring her back to the states the tables get turned.
You mentioned tha women in the states that are from the sticks will hook up with much older men that can provide for them, which I agree with you 100%. But how often do you see young attractive women hooking up with grand pa age guys that make an average income, that is something you should ask yoursel if you elect to bring a filipina back to the states.
If you must mary a filipina and bring her back to the states and you only make an average income I suggest you marry an older one without kids and not an attractive one, prefereably without any high valued skills. The reason behind marrying such a filipina, is quite simple the playing field will be at least fair for you.
You have given some great advice about getting to know a filipina over there, I would like to add that I would not marry her, instead apply for a fiance visa, she is allowed to come to the states and you get 6 months to test drive how things are. If she shows you attitude, you buy her a one way ticket back to PI, which is much cheaperr than losing out in a divorce.
Why can't men just monger without being married?
I don't want to disappoint those who have "hearts of gold."
Wake the fuck up! Monger and enjoy your lives. Why bring a stranger into your world and risk a chance of ruin it. Does anyone put a gun to your head and ask you to get married? I thought this is a forum for those who made the mistake of getting married and now enjoying life by banging around the world. Take my advise, do not follow the church, we are still animals. Even them are not dumb enough to get married.
Gents
I shall be in Manila next month. I have arranged for a yahoo babe to stay ith me. She is meeting me at my hotel at midnight and staying the night. I have agreed her two female friends who we meet the following afternoon can tag along on our trips outside Manila and on meals too. I am promising love and eternal devotion; she is promising the same. Bottom line: what are my chances of a. fucking her; b. her friends. How does this entire scenario look?
Muy amable
Man In Japan
01-06-05, 12:50
Gents
I shall be in Manila next month. I have arranged for a yahoo babe to stay ith me. She is meeting me at my hotel at midnight and staying the night. I have agreed her two female friends who we meet the following afternoon can tag along on our trips outside Manila and on meals too. I am promising love and eternal devotion; she is promising the same. Bottom line: what are my chances of a. fucking her; b. her friends. How does this entire scenario look?
Muy amableDomino,
I am in the same situation. My yahoo honey is coming to Makati to see me and said that she is bringing her friend with her. She said we will have a great time, I said no, let's just sit and relax, drink and eat room service. She said yeah that sounds more fun. So I'm wondering the same thing, I'm going to try to get them both.
All the yahoo girls say that foreign men chat with them and talk dirty to them, asking them to take their clothes off. I say that I'm shocked, and they all think I'm a nice guy.
I will be in Manila Jan 7th-10th, coming from Tokyo, my home, I'll make a full report. I'll also be there in February, basically on Japanese holidays.
GoodEnough
01-06-05, 14:35
I agree with everything you say. To this I would add that such factors as education, social class, and economic background are also important predictors of the direction of relationships. That is, finding a girl with some decent education, from a middle class background, who holds a "normal" job presents a rosier scenario than picking up a girl in a bar and proposing marriage. Most rational guys I know would not contemplate a long-term relationship with someone they know only through a bar scene, or through Internet chatting, if the entire exchange took place in the West. Why would anyone think that such a situation would be any more favorable over here?
The best advice is to invest not only the money, but the time in getting to know the girl and her circumstances, whether the time is spent here or there.
GE
Again, not what I've seen/experienced. New Years Eve was at a party of all Fil-Am couples, maybe 15, and 2 older Filipinas (50+, one was HOT, other was decent, both going through divorces, one from the MD). Not a "dog" in the bunch, was amazed at the beauty (again). This is part of the crowd I hang with, get together maybe 6-8 times a year. There are many other such couples here in the NY/NJ/PA area, most of the guys are in average income bracket.
Funny thing is, the only one that I don't consider attractive (wasn't there that night) is married to a mailman, he makes about $60K a year, and she is the one who is making him miserable.
Of the New Years group of guys, two are making $125+/year, the rest of us have seen better career days.
When I was rolling in the dough, maybe 4 years ago, made 3 trips to RP and got tired of the mongering. Decided to settle down with a nice Ilocana that I was visiting with in HK and Ilocos.
During those trips, met 8 or 9 "penpals". Had the Ilocana and one in Cebu as my main companions. When I decided to marry, it was between those 2 and the Ilocana was the winner. More "traditional". Remember, I was also afraid of getting burned, getting divorced, etc.. Took my time, but it was still quick.
Some of the ladies I met on my first trip surprised me, since I only knew what I read about their culture. One was going to travel with me, but too "clingy". And while I thought it was going to be one way, she was still a virgin and I wasn't going to tangle with that on a whim. Another met me on Negroes with a chaperone, we had a chaperone everytime we were together. Her mother loved me and her father (a lawyer) scowled at me and was very "cool". Just the way it should have been, as what I had heard/read.
So for the guys meeting the girls in MNL, you might be in for a surprise. One girl I flew to meet me in Cebu, as I had missed her in MNL. Got her a room over her protests that she would stay with me, said "she trusted me". Good thing, not a party girl, great marriage material, but I was already interested in someone else. She became a good friend though of me and my now wife. She did cut all her hair off though when she heard I was engaged! Not bald, just very short. Wow! What a place.
But I also had my fun in the early days, did a lot of "takeout" and others that I met who were less "traditional". Had a great experience with an IT Magager I met on the way to Cebu from MNL. I was on my way back from HK, you know, changing terminals, double security checkin and was dying for a smoke. As I'm heading to "Tinderbox" at the end of the terminal (not the old domestic terminal, the new one), I can see this great pair of knees/legs from about 50 feet away, but nothing else. Decide to drop my bags at the table when I get inside, she says sure and off we go to Cebu (this is like my 5th day in RP). Lost her cell#/e-mail, but she wasn't my type long term, I don't think. I think she could have been maybe one of the ones Pimpster is alluding to, maybe not, but too "westernized", I think.
Anyhow, if things don't work out the way you expect with your pen/chat pals, smile, say "nice meeting you" and hookup with someone else, there are plenty to choose from.
Or even do "takeout".
Sorry for the typo in my last post (and in future posts, LOL).
Hobby Knob
01-06-05, 23:40
Be careful painting with a broad brush, and remember, if you go to the bar girls, you should know what the motive is.
Personally, I married a Filipina 10 years ago. She was born and raised in the provences. Came to the states in mid 20's. I met her here. She F*cks like a bar girl, but treats me like a king. Her and her family treat me better than my own family.
Like the other post said, She also finishes her BJ with a HJ and only lets me CIM every long while.
Bottom line, My Filipina is a dream come true (your right about the Jealousy), but we met under "normal" circumstances. You look to pay for play, you'll get what you pay for.
Dragon Slayer
01-07-05, 01:49
Domino & Asobihodai,
I met and fucked many women from yahoo chats, including my gorgeous lady here with me now in So China. As to the friends!!!. You have to desire a "danger tour". It could possibly be done but the problems far outweigh the benefits of this.
Now some advice from the Slayer. Can just reject this if you like. I have been going to Asia for 17 years now. I am on my 80th Trip now from USA into Asia. In So China and will be in Phils in a few days. Met many women in the Phils over the years and met many on yahoo chats the past 18 months. This is just my advice Pals. If it does not suit you, toss it. But I would feel bad if I did not try to assist.
First, always be a gentleman when talking with a lady. But over a few days or a week you do NEED to bring sex into the chat. That is ONLY if you want to be assured of getting laid. You could otherwise end up with the girl saying, "oh no, we cannot do this. I can have sex only after marriage". It has happened to me years ago on several occasions. Not anymore as I slowly work this into our internet and telephone conversations (I always get phone number and telephone them also). Amazing how easy it is to get the lady to agree to fucking you relentlessly once she feels comfortabe with you.
Second, DO NOT be so willing to have her friends tag along. This will do two things,again from personal experience over 17 years:
1. You will spend a hell of a lot more money. Amazing how much these girls can eat and drink when a foreigner is buying. Once had a girl in 1992 show up in Cebu with her sister, brother and cousin(I had reluctantly agreed to ONLY her sister and she promised me this would be all.). They immediately insisted on eating. As I drank coffee the 4 of them consumed 8 meals and several mango juices.
2. You will probably NOT get fucked literally (you WILL get fucked figuratively and BIG TIME). Ask yourself how you will get laid with all the girls there. No, you will not have an orgy. Again I know from experience. I had one and only one exception with the lovely Odessa, age 19 in Cebu. I finally consented to her bringing her cousin along Oct 2003. I sucked her tits in my room at Metropolis Court Hotel and she stroked my cock as her 18 y/o virgin cousin watched. Twice the cousin stepped outside the room as I fucked her.
Insist on meeting alone and tell the lady that you will be happy to meet her friends in a day or two when you are relaxed and not so "nervous or shy"(sex starved). IF she holds tight to the friends tagging along, drop her like a very bad habit.
Third, have a backup plan. In other words other young, hot, available pussy to meet if your first lady goes wrong. DO NOT hang with her and her many friends simply because she is the "only game in town". I always have 3-4 women that I can meet at each Place. Again, I learned this the hard way years ago. I even had a few occasions when the girl did not show up due to some excuse, personal problem or whatever. Once, it was she found out her filipino bf had gotten her pregnant. Other times the girl simply got "Cold Feet" and did not show. In the Example above in 1992 I ended up drinking at the Hotel Bar ALONE and going over my List of phone numbers of other ladies there. I got lucky on the second call and a hot 18 y/o showed up. Had to do some fast talking to explain why I waited until I arrived in Cebu to contact her.
Last February 2004 in Davao i had both Annie and Celeste meeting me from yahoo chats. Both were lovely and hot and a "sure thing". Still, I had the co-ed, Donna, as a backup. She was in the lobby telephoning me, wanting to come to my Suite with her gf. I kept her cooling her heels there as I was waiting for Annie and was not interested in her friend joining us. She got an attitude as Annie walked in, and was immediately summoned. As she was storming from the Hotel (Annie was riding my dick), GoodEnough just happened to be walking into the Hotel lobby to meet me. He took advantage of the situation and got her phone number so her could "console" her later.
Hope this helps you both. Good Luck.
Dragon Slayer
PsyberZombie
01-07-05, 12:58
that young beautiful flip chick who just can't get enough of your hot middle·aged love handles and your wallet wants to marry you for one reason and one reason only = to get a ticket to emmigrate to the u.s. of a.
once she's here , it'll take her only a few months before she "finds her legs" [ as they say of thai hookers who marry americans and move here ]
her 'salvation' will almost always come in the form of another man = may·be even the pizza delivery guy for starters
if you're smart , you'll just pimp her out from the get go : get her a job as an 'exotic dancer' and split the take with her [ sooner or later , she's gonna be earning money screwing other guys , so why not make it sooner and get your share of the loot ?? ]
the only 'danger' from this plan of attack is that you'll speed up the in·evitable = she's looking for a guy to replace you who's younger , better looking , and most importantly , wealthier than you are ; and she's gonna find him fast in the back of the lap dance area
soon you'll find your·self getting screwed only in divorce court . that pre·nup you had her sign is ripped up by the judge as 'co·erced' when she apparently can't understand basic english in front of him , plus she looks so sweet and young that you come off looking like a **** grifter , and so you get nailed to the wall economically by the court as your just desserts
your only consolation = her new guy is due for the same treatment soon...
Better info at Mag-Anak site, but if you decide that you have met "the one", the paperwork takes 6 months to 1 year, depending upon what regional center you file with (INS, or whatever it's called now, BCIS? depends upon your state of residence). I forget the cost of filing, figure $300 initially, then $200 to adjust status after 2 years. Other fees apply if she wants to go to work or visit "home" before provisional green card is issued (that takes about 1 year). Fiance Visa gives her 90 days to get married to the person who filed as her fiance or she has to go back home.
The paperwork/wait is a pain and just try getting a decent fare from MNL to US, LOL.
Member #1005
01-07-05, 22:39
Just a couple of points here on your post about: “Marrying a Hooker”
As I expect you have never been to the Philippines, but we are all entitled to our opinions here. However, you need to define exactly what you mean by a “hooker”, because I have met many girls from the Philippines and other countries who do not classify themselves as hookers via internet chat rooms or who hang around in hotel lobbies to meet foreigners but they are worse than hookers scheming, manipulative, crafty and devious are regular everyday traits for them. Yet these girls think that if they take someone for all they’ve got its OK, on top of a passport to a new country.
I met two separate so called “regular girls” back in September who said they were happy to spend the night with me if I we could agree to their fee and both of them had a higher expectation, than in my opinion, on what they were actually worth. One of them kept texting me all the time asking for this or that, could I top-up her cell phone etc, saying she would stay all night with me if l would give her 2,000 Pesos (U$36/£20/€28). As I had been out her and two friends previously I said that all three of them were not worth 2,000 Pesos in my books and only worth 1,500 Pesos (U$27/£14/€21) for them altogether. The difference between these so-called “regular girl” and a hooker in my books is that hooker is usually cheaper and much more honest about what she really wants.
These girls didn’t consider themselves to be hookers and looked down on bar girls – now what’s the difference here?
Juniour
GoodEnough
01-08-05, 02:35
In the Philippines, as in most developing countries, and in developed countries too, for that matter, there are women who explicitly or implicitly sell sex for money and there are women who do not. What's the difference what they call themselves, or how we label them? They are what they are. Among the women "who do not" there's a large group that would willingly trade a measure of devotion, loyalty and abundant monogamous sex for a measure of security and a life style of a higher quality than that which she could find elsewhere. Are such women also hookers? If they are, then what are we?
The debate over how to label people is, I think, non-productive. What's more productive, in my opinion, is to decide the set of factors--overt p4p, the trading of material goods for good sex and loyalty--that you're willing to accept, and then live with it. Regardless of the basis for the relationship, so long as each party derives most of what she or he wants, then what's the problem?
GE
Dragon Slayer
01-08-05, 05:04
Pals,
I have to comment here. Too good to pass up. As a young guy on my first Trip to S E Asia 17 years ago I met a Thai Pro age 22. Sweet, innocent and the most cunning, manipulative,devious demon I ever met. I kept in contact vis telephone calls/letters for three months. Returned, spent 3 weeks with her and we married at the end of the third week.
It was easily one of the 2-3 biggest mistakes I ever made in my entire, not so young, life. ONLY reason it is not the biggest mistake is that her Marital VISA took a very long time and she was gone on to the next SUCKER before it ever got approved (close though as we actually went as far as the required medical exam at the specific Bangkok Clinic names by the US Consulate.
During the 14 month we were togethe she got me for about $10,000 US and moved on when another Foreigner surfaced offering her new fun/$$$. This turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I wsh I knew where I could find this guy so I could buy hi a few drinks, new sports car, condo in hawaii, etc.
Find a decent women to marry. Take the time necessary for what can be the biggest move in your entire life.
Dragon Slayer
PsyberZombie
01-08-05, 12:33
Juniour writes =
" However, you need to define exactly what you mean by a “hooker”, because I have met many girls from the Philippines and other countries who do not classify themselves as hookers... I met two separate so called “regular girls” back in September who said they were happy to spend the night with me if I we could agree to their fee...
Uhhhhh... i hate to be the one to break this to you , Juniour = but if a woman is charging you money for sex , then she is NOT a "Regular Girl" ; she is a Hooker !!!
GoodEnough isn't in·to 'labelling' people , but some·times these Labels serve a legitimate purpose . I for one have no problem labelling girls who sell sex directly for money or drugs as 'Hookers' , in order to facilitate discussion of this group of people
Hookers fall under a Bigger Category of chicks we mongers call 'P4P Pros' ; or you can call them "Gold·diggers" if you so desire
GoodEnough asks =
" So long as each party derives most of what she or he wants, then what's the problem?
The 'Problem' , my dear GoodEnough , is that the women in these trans·actions are Con Women ; and the men they marry are un·witting dupes who end up getting fleeced , used , and then dropped like a steaming turd when a better pigeon comes along
And if you don't see a 'Problem' in your fellow Mongers getting emotionally and financially destroyed by some scheming hottie , may·be YOU should marry a Hooker and experience the devastation First·Hand
But I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy , let alone a good friend like GE
GoodEnough
01-08-05, 13:05
I don't want anyone hurt; not the girls and not the men. My point, please remember, was that both people need to get what they want from a relationship. If the "old" guys get duped, is the girl alone to blame? Surely these guys must have wondered prior to committing themselves. Surely they must have done some research, or consulted a resource much like this one, or discussed the situation with friends or family.
What you say is true, in some cases, but not all. The fact is, that neither you nor I can predict, with any accuracy, the course of any relationship. One girl's "I love you" may be sincere, and another's might not be. Who are we to judge, and how are we to know? I have a friend who has been married for more than 20 years to a woman working one of the bars in Patpong. They have three kids, and they have a great relationship. What does that prove? Nothing, except that sometimes stuff works. I'm sure we all know people in the West who appeared perfectly compatible, got married, and got divorced in a matter of months. It's all a crap shoot and all any of us can do is to reassure ourselves as much as possible.
I wonder Psyber, who is conning whom?
Stay well.
:D
GE
Member #1005
01-08-05, 14:45
Thanks for clearing up that point for me, I am still not convinced that you know what you are going on about here, because you have such a warped view of women in general. However, I have recently been chatting to someone via the pm. I explained to John05 that I had a friend who married a Russian girl from St Petersburg, when he brought her back home she wanted a car because she didn’t like public transport, then when he suggested she help clean up the home, they lived in, she said that he should get a maid because she wasn’t coming from Russian to clean up after anybody as she wasn’t a maid.
This was a girl who could only use public transport in her native Russia and lived in a typical one bed run down apartment with her mother, sister & two kids. Then when divorcing she was determined to try to claim half of the home as well as having taken out various loans; it was all rather messy affair but this type of story is common with Russians. John05 told me he had a similar experience.
My point here is that whatever you label Philippinos there are many good ones to be found, I would suggest you actually try visiting rather than generalising here and open your mind. For my money your best bet is a Philippino, especially if you find the right one. So once again I would suggest that you don’t label the Filipinos as all hookers because you clearly do not know what you are talking about.
I have met more good girls than bad ones with good hearts that I can trust, I suggest that you re-read my post to Pimpster.
Juniour
I've been watching the latest thread with some curiosity. I've been with the same filipina for better than 10 years. I've been caught more than once with the so called hand in the cookie jar but I'm happy to report we are still together, seemingly as happy as ever with all assets intact.
What I can offer is based on my experience.
1. If you choose a filipina, it's much better if you decide to reside in the Philippines as opposed to taking them to your country. That way, you remain the trophy, as opposed to the other way around. Think about it!
2. As much as possible, keep the family out. If it means building them a house in the province for about 50,000 pesos (less than 1000 USD), by all means do it. Get it sorted early on in the relationship that you are not a sponsor to her family. Much easier if she has experience already working overseas and has seen how much of a leech the family can and will be once someone is willing to travel, work and send money home. If she has never left the philippines before, she won't realize how much the family can literally suck the lifeblood from a relationship.
3. Filipinas are great provided you sort out the first two items. They are very much family oriented and until they actually experience first hand the leaching phenomena (sp??) they won't understand that although you earn a good salary, it's not meant to support her whole entire fucking family. This is a tough one.
All said if you do find a good one, they are awesome. Do anything for you, care for you more than you could ever imagine, and generally shag you better than any P4P you could imagine. My missus, will still feed me in bed, do the wake up BJ thing, give me a great rub down when we shower together, etc, etc. This is after 10 years together.
On the other hand, I still mess around on the side, cause as a guy, I have to be a guy, but still have difficulty finding a gal 20 years her junior who can match her in the sack.
My only real advice is if you want a Filipina, be prepared to spend some time here. It's a great place to retire, if your in that position, but I don't recommend it for someone who is still trying to do the business thing. It's a ***** to try and do business here if you are not completely in the know. I've done it and luckily succeeded, but if I had to do it over again, there is no way in hell I would attempt it again.
It's a tough call, but the potential for striking gold is good, but only if you put the time in. I've yet to see the internet romance work for both parties, but who knows, it may happen. Myself, I would rather put the time in on the ground in the Philippines first.
Thanks DS. I do have back up plans in hand. We will only be going to Baguio for a few days so if things smell bad, I will simply switch hotelsand disappear. (not for the first time).
Others: on the broader issue of marrying these ladies, let's all agree there are considerable general risks involved. Who could blame any of them for wanting out and, let's face it, there is something mercenary in "rich" Wesrerners maerrying poor Asians where one side holds al the economic cards and is not prepared to accept in the right spirit what little the Asian may have to offer.
I am now in Pattaya, Thailand and, as always, I am half bowled over at how nice the personalities of the "ordinary" women I meet here are. I went to my favorite souvenir stall, bought nothing but tipped (she works 11-11 and is an angel). I got an in house massage (no sex and tipped (she works 11 am- 1pm). I admire people like that who can stil lsmile. But I wil not marry them as too many complications.
Also Dragon: I find it interesting she wants me to sponsor her friends, not her relatives. Thati s problably how she gets brownie points and, as hteir life is shit enoughm, it is cool and welcome to me, up to a point.
PsyberZombie
01-08-05, 23:39
Juniour notes =
" So once again I would suggest that you don’t label the Filipinos as all hookers because you clearly do not know what you are talking about. "
Far be it from me to suggest that ALL Filipino women are Hookers
I'm just saying that P4P Pros are the type of women most American Men [ especially American 'Sex Tourists' ] are most likely to meet / meat
... and they should be Extremely Skeptical if that gorgeous young Hottie wants to Marry them , because the ultimate consequences for the guy could be Quite Costly . That's all
I know I wrote to 200+ girls over the years; they came and went. The first contact I made was with a young lady from Davao, over IRC back in "95 or "96. She worked at the now out of business Weblinq, so she was able to chat regularly. Told me from the start that we would be friends, she wasn't going to be marrying a "foreignor". Every once in a while I would send her souveniers from my son and my trips over here, just simple things like postcards and T Shirts. It bothered her that she couldn't respond in kind and she asked me to stop, which I did. Lost track of her in 99, turns out she got married to a Filipino. We reconnected in 2001 and I visited Davao for the first time (thank you God for Davao, LOL, and my friend, otherwise I'd have deemed it too "dangerous" and never visited).
OK, long winded, but the above example shows some traits that I learned to look for in a potential friend.
Another of my first penpals was from Cavite, but after a few months of writing got impatient. Actually several did. Only 1 ever tried to scam me. I later met her in Davao (she came down from CDO with a chaperone) and she was "sweet". I think some of her friends pressured her to call me to ask for $$ for a doctor. Actually it was quite funny. A reverse charge call at 2 AM (she never could figure the time difference out, LOL), probably $35 at the time. I asked her what was wrong, "she had an accident" and needed $$ to see a doctor. I asked "what type of accident" and there was whaispering in the background, then "I'm sick". Hmmmm. "How sick?", whispering, then "I have a cold and need P5,000 for the doctor". "Sorry, no way, bye. A couple of days later I called her and she claimed it wasn't her, LOL.
I had a beautiful young lady that I "was in love with" in Cebu, spent the better part of 40 days with her. Another guy that I'm great friends with was dating her sister and vouched for her and the family (great family, especially "Momma"). First night I'm there, I say that I need to get some cargo pants, so we go to "Pants Off" at Ayala. After we're done, we're looking down from 2nd Flr to cellphone kiosk on 1st Flr, I tell her I need to get her some "phone cards"; I have no idea what they are, but she's been using her sister's to talk to me. Then I say "Wouldn't you like a cellphone?" and she says "Of course, but they cost so much". Being in from BKK and ahead of budget, I figure why not. As she's looking at cells, this old German dude it trying to tell me about a cellphone sale on 3rd Flr, all of a sudden he says "Mein Gott, are you going to let her buy that?". Turns out that my honey's eyes had drifted from the P4K phones to the P14K phones, which we bought (strike 2). I went to HK the next day for a weekend visit to my Ilocana and when I came back found out that she had been robbed of the phone and her sister's gold necklace on a jeepney in Colon. Over the next 8 weeks, I really enjoyed her company, but she wasn't anything like the one I eventually married. Said she loved me, but when my (now) wife said it, I "know" she meant it. My friend who was dating the sister told me later that he figured early on that I was falling for the Ilocana (he's rich and figured the 2 of us could "save the family". He also married another). The gal in Cebu eventually "fired" me so I was free to propose to the other. There were enough "gut" feelings to tell me who was the right one. So far (3+ years) it has been working and like another on here said, other great benefits too. No one else compares and I've tried many in the past.
I will also say that with the exception of the the con-girl from CDO, all of the gals I met were great. I believe that most were honest (was friends with a really cute 18 YO in Davao though who was engaged to 2 guys at once, courtesy of her father, a "pimp" in a Filipino friend's words, who tried to auction her off to the richest guy). You just gotta use your brain; if it doesn't feel right, run, don't walk, away.
A little trivia for those who don't already know.
During the American Civil War a certain yankee called General Hooker provided ladies for his troops. His brothels were in Washington D.C and the girls were called Hooker's girls. Hence the name.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.1.4 Copyright © 2025 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.