View Full Version : China Women - Opinions and Advice
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While you are chatting with her via web cam, why don't you ask her to do something unique, like stick middle finger or moon you. :)
Models in Asia do not make that much money. Unless they are international models. Not sure how much they make, but I'm sure most of them make less than above average KTV girls.
Good idea, I might try that. Or maybe I'll just wait until next summer, in case we still have contact.
God, I hope this person is really the girl she claims to be and I have a chance to meet her in real life. Even just having a dinner date with her once would be better than sex with 99 percent of Chinese women. I would just tape the whole thing and use the tape of us eating and walking down the street on later occasions to jack off and show off to other people.
On another thought: I wonder how many RMB this kind of girl would ask for for sex? In case she turns me down after I meet her, I think I'll directly offer her 10000 RMB for a night, see how she reacts. She is 5'10", slim figure, pretty face, has won a national model competition in China and been featured on various magazine covers. I wonder with how many men she has slept for this? Probably this is the type of girl the "big boss" types in China get, after buying her a car, an apartment etc.
Ragnarok42
11-26-07, 01:29
On another thought: I wonder how many RMB this kind of girl would ask for for sex? In case she turns me down after I meet her, I think I'll directly offer her 10000 RMB for a night, see how she reacts. She is 5'10", slim figure, pretty face, has won a national model competition in China and been featured on various magazine covers. I wonder with how many men she has slept for this? Probably this is the type of girl the "big boss" types in China get, after buying her a car, an apartment etc.
My advice, dont offer money to have sex with her. If she is as pretty as you say, then she probably gets solicated 20 times a day. She obviously likes you and wants to meet you on her terms. Don't think so much for crying out loud, thank god you have the opportunity and go for it. If she turns out to be a lier, dump her on the spot; if she is the stunner you think she is, then thank god for your luck and play it cool. You might actually get some if you dont act too desperate...
Good luck and tell us all the juicy details. Or better yet, post some pics.
Another ISG member said it is easy to get freebies in bars if you are not middle aged, fat and bald. I said I think maybe it is easier to get freebies in asia if you are middle aged, fat and bald.
I think most girls here are looking for a sugar daddy with deep pockets. They are motivated by financial security, shopping or some quick bucks. A handsome younger guy is not their priority.
Of course, there is really no such thing as a true freebie. She is looking for something, either now or later. The only way you can get her pussy for free is to quickly dump her, otherwise you will have to start spending money before she dumps you.
That said, how do you get "freebies".
First, you need to be motivated. Many guys here would rather just pay for quickies. Wham, bham, "thank you mam, here's some cash, don't call me I'll call you". Easy, not time consuming, no pretentious games, cheap and no hassle.
Others want "freebies". They enjoy the hunt, the game and the girlfriendly/boyfriend pretentions. What is the best way to score?
Who scores the most hits? Well, I think it's the guys who speak the local language and are not shy. They are good at hunting and quick to move in on the target prey. They are not too picky, just about any reasonable looking gal will do. The guys age and appearance is not so important; it's his attitude, his skills and he is willing to take her shopping.
Any opinions?
Ragnarok42
11-26-07, 10:55
Who scores the most hits? Well, I think it's the guys who speak the local language and are not shy. They are good at hunting and quick to move in on the target prey. They are not too picky, just about any reasonable looking gal will do. The guys age and appearance is not so important; it's his attitude, his skills and he is willing to take her shopping.
Any opinions?
The three keys to scoring freebies:
1. confidence
2. confidence
and
3. confidence
its like the little engine that could, if you think you can, you can. No matter how you look, how fat your wallet is or even if you speak Chinese.
Happy Hunting everyone
Dan Hawaii
11-26-07, 12:49
I think most girls here are looking for a sugar daddy with deep pockets. They are motivated by financial security, shopping or some quick bucks. A handsome younger guy is not their priority.
Of course, there is really no such thing as a true freebie. She is looking for something, either now or later. The only way you can get her pussy for free is to quickly dump her, otherwise you will have to start spending money before she dumps you.
Exactly, girlfriends/freebies are more expensive in the long run. And they can become real drama queens.
First, you need to be motivated. Many guys here would rather just pay for quickies. Wham, bham, "thank you mam, here's some cash, don't call me I'll call you". Easy, not time consuming, no pretentious games, cheap and no hassle.
I'm one of those guys, pay them to leave.
OldAsiaHand
11-26-07, 13:30
Albert Punter,
You are far luckier than I am. How high is your hit rate? I mean how many girls do you need to chat with before you score one?
I also tell the girls I am married to avoid troubles later. If they are single, they are usually not interested after I tell them. I have only found one that told me she was only interested in the sex. This is why I would like to find more married ones.
As Moody suggested, most of the freebies I do get are over 30, although I have lured a couple of late 20s in lately. I think part of this is because the options for a girl over 30 in China go down substantially.
As Santa quoted one ISG member, I fall into tje middle aged, fat and bald category, but I also don't think it has that much detrimental effect on my ability to score freebies. I wanted to post a reply to the guy, but remember getting into a pissing match over the same subject on the Chengdu thread some time back.
OAH
I can't be of much help either as my hunting is done almost entirely through internet.
However, I can tell you that my marital status it doesn't seem to be a deterrent for girls. As already said in some other occasion I never lie to girls I come in contact with: so from beginning it is clear my marital status and real purpose of my search.
Almosts all of them continue to chat and later accept a date and accept invitation to my place, if things move in right way and chemistry creates (however, I am not a bad guy who f**k girls after drunking them ... - obviously joking).
Maybe big part of girls I met are among those mentioned by Moody who don't care about a husband but only want to have fun, and maybe the opportunity to go to nice restaurants or nice clubs without paying for the bill.
In my experience it is very easy to just chat up Chinese girls on the street and get them to go out with you and be your girlfriend. Most of the young ones (the ones I'm interested in) are however not interested in casual sex, just in walking along the street with you, shopping, going for dinner etc., which can be rather unpleasant, since you may get hostile stares etc. from Chinese men.
The only easy way to get a Chinese girl into bed I know is to be alone with her and get her drunk.
Only a minority of Chinese women drink, but among those there are some girls (e.g. many Dongbei girls) who are really into heavy drinking and will end up in the sack with you after just one evening.
Ace Gallant
11-26-07, 14:31
Another ISG member said it is easy to get freebies in bars if you are not middle aged, fat and bald. I said I think maybe it is easier to get freebies in asia if you are middle aged, fat and bald.
I think most girls here are looking for a sugar daddy with deep pockets. They are motivated by financial security, shopping or some quick bucks. A handsome younger guy is not their priority.
Of course, there is really no such thing as a true freebie. She is looking for something, either now or later. The only way you can get her pussy for free is to quickly dump her, otherwise you will have to start spending money before she dumps you.
That said, how do you get "freebies".
First, you need to be motivated. Many guys here would rather just pay for quickies. Wham, bham, "thank you mam, here's some cash, don't call me I'll call you". Easy, not time consuming, no pretentious games, cheap and no hassle.
Others want "freebies". They enjoy the hunt, the game and the girlfriendly / boyfriend pretentions. What is the best way to score?
Who scores the most hits? Well, I think it's the guys who speak the local language and are not shy. They are good at hunting and quick to move in on the target prey. They are not too picky, just about any reasonable looking gal will do. The guys age and appearance is not so important; it's his attitude, his skills and he is willing to take her shopping.
Any opinions?Santa,
I cannot agree with you more.
As I always said; Freebie are easy to get but hard to get rid.
For me; I size up the girl over first conversation on whether she is a freebie potential. If she is, I will get in fast and get out fast too. If you don't get out fast; there are two possibilities:
1) You will get stuck with this freebie who will slowly turn into a gold digger.
2) You will get stuck with this freebie who will get into your way when you are looking for other new freebies.
My success with freebies is not the deep pocket or good looks; but it is the language and the ability to understand their position in life. I talk a lot to the girls and showed a lot of interest in them by inviting them to talk about themselves. This shows that you are concern and caring part to them.
But as I had said before; Perhaps for other member they may also have some other smart move which allows them to bag their freebie. My advice is to ask those member directly. An example will be our well known Azn Playa; who had said that his good looks get him lots of freebies.
Sorry OAH, I do not really know how to advice you besides on what I had said above. I do have an advantage of been Single to be able to attract them more. But however I do agree with Santa and you that telling the truth is the best policy. If you don't; you are playing with fire.
Lastly; be smart in what you say; do not be desperate, just play along, have the attitude that "If I don't get this one, there will always be 1000 of others out there." Based on what I know, once the girls spot on you as been desperate, they will play hard to get. For me; I play their own game, I am the one who play hard to get.
Happy Hunting.
Enjoy!
AG
First, to any members I insulted with my comments about freebies not being as easy for those of us firmly entrenched in average middle aged white guydom I appologize. And most sincerely I was not looking to get into a pissing contest with anyone here. My comments were nothing more than one person's personal observation, and your actual mileage may (and probably will) vary. OK, saying all that I think that we should all step back and consider a few points where freebies are concerned. This is advice I give to new expats when they come over with regard to the dating scene in China, and again it is just my opinion based upon personal observation over the last (can it be) three years in Shenzhen.
1. Chinese girls come in two very distinct flavors, good girls and bad girls. Good girls will have a very strong sense of Confusion society instilled in them and will not casually date any man. For a good girl to date in China she has almost certainly considered the relationship going forward and if there is not a 90% chance that it will lead to marriage and a family she will not commit.
2. Because most Chinese men will not marry a girl who is not a virgin it is not unusual in China for a "couple" to do nothing more than hold hands and maybe kiss for years, especially during University. After university if the girl thinks the relationship will not lead to marriage she will break it off.
3. Based on the above it is very difficult for a western man to date a good Chinese girl. I’m not saying it’s impossible, just that it’s very very hard and not anything like the West. One notable exception is a divorced Chinese woman, as most Chinese men will consider her damaged goods. Divorce in China can come about from many reasons, including the woman be unable to have children.
4. Good Chinese girls don’t go glassy eyed with the thought of living in the West. They are also not impressed with Western money and material goods, as there are plenty of rich Chinese which offer less risk and more stability. Many laowai are seen as transitory predators. The term "foreign devils" is not just reserved for the Japanese. When a nice Chinese girl walks in public with a laowai there are often comments hurled at her from locals as the pass by. These hurt.
5. The family might or might not accept a foreigner, but usually will if the relationship leads to a stable marriage. A popular TV show here is "Modern Family", which deals with mixed marriages and how everyone deals with this. Many Chinese see the flood of Westerners much like the native American Indians must have seen the advance of the White man. They are cautiously optimistic everything will be OK, but are ready with the war paint if things go bad.
6. If you mange to find, date and eventually marry a good Chinese girl she will never cheat on you or divorce you. She will take care of you when you’re sick and old, and will not re-marry when you die. She will devote her entire life to you.
7. Bad girls on the other hand do not adhere to the above, either through choice or circumstance. For whatever reason (financial, lack of higher education, desire to get away from family or just simple reject the traditional Chinese ways) they choose a different path. These girls are usually easily spotted by Chinese society and for the most part shunned. China is not an "equal opportunity" society, and Chinese will quickly determine a girl’s status based upon a series of probing questions. At first I was amazed by this process, but in China there is nothing wrong with starting a conversation with a stranger with "How much money do you make? " Or, "How much is your rent every month". The Chinese will probe until they get their answers. Remember, to most Chinese FACE is everything.
So, what’s my point? Simply this; good Chinese girls do not go looking for husbands in bars. If an attractive 25 year old girl goes home with a much older, somewhat average man after a few drinks she probably wants something. Maybe it’s money or a sugar daddy or a green card but she’s probably after something. I do agree that confidence plays a huge role in Chinese freebies, as most Chinese seem to have a built in reflex to respect authority, and so can be lead into many things, but in my observations young Chinese girls are not overly physically attracted to older Western men. And so, if we rule out physical attraction it does tend to make my suspicious mind wonder what the real attraction (and price) is.
Now, before 27 guys tell me how wrong I am let me say again that all of the above is just one viewpoint and that I’m sure there are many exceptions. I would just advice members of this forum to use caution where freebies are concerned and consider that even in China there is no such thing as a free dim sum lunch.
EDITOR'S NOTE: I certainly hope that the author or somebody else will post a link to this report in the Reports of Distinction thread. Please Click Here (http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/announcement-reportsofdistinction.php?) for more information.
I guess I'll weigh in with my take on the freebies. Actually, I suppose I've done quite well finding freebies while in China. Probably close to 90% have been discovered online:
1. AFF/CFF has been pretty good
2. Searching on Yahoo has also paid off
3. Various classified ad sites are excellent as well:
- a. www.asiaxpat.com
- b. www.szparty.com
- c. http://craigslist.com
The few that I did meet in public were found at various places:
1. working at a booth at the Shenzhen Exhibition Center
2. duty manager at a hotel I used to stay at
3. riding the Shenzhen Metro
4. sitting at Starbuck's.
5. walking at Lianhuashan Park
6. shopping at Carrefour
7. waiting on the street for a taxi
8. office worker while visiting a local company
9. the outdoor bars at various shopping malls in Shenzhen
None of the freebies I've encountered so far have been any problem whatsoever - didn't ask to go shopping; didn't want expensive dinners; didn't ask for money or gifts; and are not calling or sms'ing me at all hours of the day & night; etc. In fact, some of them have even offered to assist me to get more accustomed to my life in China - helping me to understand some of the menus; tutoring me in Chinese; cooking for me; offering to iron my clothes; bringing me snacks or something they've cooked at home. Even a few of them have tried to pick up the tab in the restaurants, bars, or taxis. Some are still great friends after several years, and others I knew maybe a few weeks or months before just drifting apart. It does seem like the ones that I have known the longest are those that have spent some time overseas - either for their education or work.
Most of them have been young (less than 25). The others were in their mid to upper 30s. Almost all were single, or divorced. A couple of them were married and another had a fiancé overseas.
The biggest investment of all is time. Sometimes it takes several days or even weeks of chatting before they will agree to meet. I had been chatting occasionally with one gal for nearly 2 years before we ever met. During that time she had gotten married, but still agreed to meet me when we both had the opportunity. The wait was absolutely worth it though - she was one of the best partners I have ever had.
As for me, I'm in my early 40s; not handsome by any stretch of the imagination; and could stand to lose a few kg. I also would not consider myself overly confident either - it's always been a bit difficult to just walk up to a woman and start a conversation out of the blue. The girls I met in public, most of them approached me first. I just smile when I see a woman that catches my eye, and then try to be friendly and polite when speaking to them. Perhaps I've just been very lucky with the freebie situation so far. Sometimes, I've even had to refuse gals that wanted to come over for the evening - just because of too much work I had to get done, or I wanted to have a night of solitude.
I'll definitely be sticking with the freebies - it's just been a great experience with no hassles, drama, or worries of any kind (knocking on wood)...
The three keys to scoring freebies:
1. confidence
2. confidence
and
3. confidence
I think this is true, and it's true in all countries. The very confident guy just goes for the girl without any hesitation or inhibitions. It doesn't matter that he is not handsome or a gifted talker. Probability is on his side. If he hits on lots of gals he will probably often get lucky. He doesn't think about it, he just does it.
I wish I had that level of confidence. I sometimes go for it, but I often hesitate until it's too late. Then I curse myself for missing the chance.
China is not an "equal opportunity" society, and Chinese will quickly determine a girl’s status based upon a series of probing questions. At first I was amazed by this process, but in China there is nothing wrong with starting a conversation with a stranger with "How much money do you make? " Or, "How much is your rent every month". The Chinese will probe until they get their answers. Remember, to most Chinese FACE is everything.
I didn't quite understand the connection to the good girl/bad girl issue. Are these questions asked by the good girls or by the bad girls?
I didn't quite understand the connection to the good girl/bad girl issue. Are these questions asked by the good girls or by the bad girls?
No matter how much you study Chinese culture , a western born man will never understand China , Chinese culture , Chinese women and so on. The gentleman who wrote that post (good girl / bad girl) is just about right on the money.
Some Mainland Chinese people have even told me that ABC's are spoiled goods , their heads have the culture (devil) of the west and of course their Mother's made sure they learned Chinese culture and the language. This is why the ABC's have the best time in China. Language , language , language , culture , culture and culture.
My business partner is American Chinese , he goes to China and he doesnt understand it all. Many women just don't trust him because he is American. The bad girls love him , the good girls just don't trust him. And they should not trust him because he is married , he lies about his status.
I have read your post Phil and you have one asset and one liability.
your liability......... your birthday 1980 - You still to young to understand.
Your asset........... Your birthday 1980 - You still have time to learn the culture , learn the language and have the best time in China than many of us 50 + guys. I know your a smart guy , so have fun , stay safe and don't be afraid to take the advise of the men here on the forum.
Take care and stay safe
tile man
Dan Hawaii
11-26-07, 22:36
China is not an "equal opportunity" society, and Chinese will quickly determine a girl’s status based upon a series of probing questions. At first I was amazed by this process, but in China there is nothing wrong with starting a conversation with a stranger with "How much money do you make? " Or, "How much is your rent every month". The Chinese will probe until they get their answers. Remember, to most Chinese FACE is everything.
I didn't quite understand the connection to the good girl/bad girl issue. Are these questions asked by the good girls or by the bad girls?
I think he is saying that Chinese customs make it ok for someone to ask you how much you make and pretty much how rich you are. You know that it is rude for someone to ask such a personal question here in the West. He's basically saying that in China it is not rude to ask that kind of personal questions.
Also, in his sentence, he is saying that men/anyone ask girls these questions, the good and the bad girls. Does not matter who is asking, the point is..... it is ok to ask.
But I have a feeling that when people respond to these questions, they tend to embellish their wealth status, because they simply due not want to lose face.
Just my 2 rmbs on freebies, find the rich and wealthy family freebies. These are the freebies that have no alternative motives, because they have everything that they need and want. They can get visas, greencards, buy anything, go anywhere, do anything etc... But if they show an interest in you, then you are one lucky man, because it will be a pure attraction without any other hidden agendas. That's the kind of freebies you got to keep, like we say here in the US,.... "She's a keeper". :)
I also think Furias left out one category of girls..., "the just want to have fun girls". I have no idea what percentage of these girls are good girls, but I'm sure the percentage is heavier on the bad girls. But, I believe that the percentage of good girls in this category will go up, because China is getting more wealthy and these girls are getting content with what they have and their lives in general.
To be stereotypical, please flame if you want....., "USUALLY" (I use this term loosely) the wealthy and above average income family girls are good girls, while the poor girls are the bad girls. Can I get an Amen!? Can I get a Hallelujah!?
Just my 2 rmbs on freebies, find the rich and wealthy family freebies. These are the freebies that have no alternative motives, because they have everything that they need and want. They can get visas, greencards, buy anything, go anywhere, do anything etc... But if they show an interest in you, then you are one lucky man, because it will be a pure attraction without any other hidden agendas. That's the kind of freebies you got to keep, like we say here in the US,.... "She's a keeper". :).
Dan
You hit it right on the sweet spot. This type of freebies is the best. I had one of these rich girl freebies and i think it was nice to be on the recepient end. The other type of freebies is the MILF in their late twenties and early thirties, horny as heck because their husband is too busy working and spending too little time at home.
To add my 2 fen to this interesting discussion:
In my rough estimation, there are 4 categories of girls:
1. (33%) Looking for money ("bad girls"). This includes xiaojie, and girls looking for sugar daddies (married Chinese guys, usually).
2. (33%) Looking for marriage ("good girls"). They won't have sex with you if they see no potential for marriage.
3. (33%) True freebies. These are usually older or less attractive.
4. (1%) True freebies who are actually young and attractive.
Therefore, I would question our friend Santa's assertion that there are no true freebies, but I would agree that it's rare to find one that's relatively hot. Scorpio33 sounds like he's having an absolute ball, and living like a king. The girls are under 25 and actually cook? We had a discussion earlier about how rare that is. Scorp must have an excellent game going. I wonder, if Scorp were to represent himself as being married with no chance of divorce, how many of these freebies would bolt, and how many of the remaining are the head-turners we all stare at in the malls, etc.? If his freebies are all Category 4 (as above), then my hat's off to him.
If you're in China for several years and have found even 1 or 2 of the Category 4's, then you're doing well I think. I did, but I lost contact with the prettiest one, and I'm still bummed about that.
Personally, I don't believe in presenting myself as being marriage material in order to bait the girls. I think it's almost as slimy as hiring a xiaojie and not paying her, so I don't do that. I don't mean to impose my morals on others, it's just my preference. I regard "confidence" not as meaning "salesmanship" or "showmanship," but just being real. So I don't play those games. Where I depart from being real is when I tell them I'm married, even though I'm not, which is only to filter out the ones too fixated on marriage. Needless to say, I've had fewer girls since I started representing myself as being married, but I feel better about the ones I've had since then.
Phil1980, stop over-thinking this model thing, just relax and enjoy it, whatever may come. Maybe she's tired of Chinese guys who keep trying to crap on her, and thinks a laowai will be nicer to her. Or maybe she's chatting up half a dozen guys online at the same time as you, I had a girl who was doing that before. I'd say just make a good experience for you and her, for however long it lasts.
The questions about how much money people make, their position, etc., it seems that everyone asks everyone. They do this to establish your social rank. Social rank means everything here. People don't wear stripes on their sleeves like in the military, so this is their way to find out from each other where they rank, and therefore how (or whether) to relate to each other.
Dan Hawaii
11-26-07, 23:02
Dan
You hit it right on the sweet spot. This type of freebies is the best. I had one of these rich girl freebies and i think it was nice to be on the recepient end. The other type of freebies is the MILF in their late twenties and early thirties, horny as heck because their husband is too busy working and spending too little time at home.
Oh Yeah, I forgot about that category, the MILFs (moms I'd like to fuck) and/or the sexually starved. NightCat's category 3. I heard these are keepers too.
Jackson should make a forum for these ladies/girls. Then us guys on this forum would not have to pay for so many WGs.
:)
Oh Yeah, I forgot about that category, the MILFs (moms I'd like to fuck) and/or the sexually starved. NightCat's category 3. I heard these are keepers too.
Jackson should make a forum for these ladies/girls. Then us guys on this forum would not have to pay for so many WGs.
:)
Dan;
I would not catagorize them as nighcats cat 3. I currently doing a MILF that is fairly hot...around an 8 or 9. These are true freebies.. they have money from their hubby and really do not need you to wine and dine them too much. They just want some hot...hot... sex. This one that i am currently doing even shaved her pussy since you know that i am not fond of the friggin bush jungle. I even ask her what if her hubby ask, she told me that he has not sample her goods for atleast several months. been too busy working and travelling for work. Her body is tone and spends time at the gym daily. I think she has spent more on me.
I would not catagorize them as nighcats cat 3. I currently doing a MILF that is fairly hot...around an 8 or 9. These are true freebies.. they have money from their hubby and really do not need you to wine and dine them too much. They just want some hot...hot... sex.
Good work. Details needed: How did you meet her? Personally, I don't mind if they're married, in fact it's better that way (no pressure to get married).
Since I've started representing myself as being married, my opportunities have gone down with single girls (predictably), but I haven't had much ramp-up with married ones. Maybe I don't know how to find the "married but looking" types.
Good work. Details needed: How did you meet her? Personally, I don't mind if they're married, in fact it's better that way (no pressure to get married).
Since I've started representing myself as being married, my opportunities have gone down with single girls (predictably), but I haven't had much ramp-up with married ones. Maybe I don't know how to find the "married but looking" types.
"I could never tell a lie". For real. I always tell them that i am married and have kids. Even whip out some pics to show them. I find that being a bit honest helps a lot.
I friend introduce me to her. I found that telling them upfront also gained their confidence. The girls knows that most men tries to lie their way into their panties. I find it easier the other way by just telling them the truth. I find many MILF do not want a sticky relationship either. They just want some hot..hot sex to satisfy their needs. Try it on MILF and i am sure that you will get some hot freebies coming along your way.
I prefer married one because they are not seeking to try to marry you. They had sex before they were married and now they lack it due to their hubby working too much or too busy mongering in places like JiaYi KTV perusing over the several hundred ladies that line up for inspection daily.
My current MILF recently is spending more money on me and I am on her. We were at a sauna recently and the tab came to around 600rmb. she slips me her card and paid for it. sweet isn't it.
Ragnarok42
11-27-07, 00:49
"I could never tell a lie". For real. I always tell them that i am married and have kids. Even whip out some pics to show them. I find that being a bit honest helps a lot.
I prefer married one because they are not seeking to try to marry you. They had sex before they were married and now they lack it due to their hubby working too much or too busy mongering in places like JiaYi KTV perusing over the several hundred ladies that line up for inspection daily.
Friend of mine had an interesting comment the other day, he said that if I tell the girls I am married (which I am with a kid) then "its their fault for coming to you". In other words, I have the moral high ground. Interesting but irrelevant.
I do prefer married ones too. Had on in Shanghai, hottest sex and totally "free". Almost gave some taxi drivers heart attacks with us groping and making out in the back seat. Another was this Sichuan girl I had known as a friend and flirted with for years. Didnt think it would go anywhere except as good friends. Then one day she calls up, comes up from Shanghai to see me in Beijing and we fuck like rabbits for 2 straight days. She knew I was married, knew my wife AND she was a virgin. We stay good friends and there are no expectations about a relationship in the future. So they come in all types.
But I consider myself lucky so far, have not had the freebie that will not let go or is a true gold digger (I have some but so far have been able to Tai-Chi the subject away). Like what is being said here, freebie sex is the greatest just be extra careful. You could wind up with some who hang on.
Just an interesting question. Is it easier to approach a girl if you are white or ABC? Lets get some opinions out there.
"I could never tell a lie". For real. I always tell them that i am married and have kids. Even whip out some pics to show them. I find that being a bit honest helps a lot.
I friend introduce me to her.
What I meant was, I'm single, but nowadays I lie and say I'm married, to avoid the "marriage pressure" that I used to get.
I've never had a friend introduce me to a hot chick. I'm not well-connected socially. I think my main problem in China is lack of the all-important social rank (defined by where you work, your position, salary, etc.). My situation works in my favor financially (being semi-retired at an early age) but against me in terms of social rank (no steady job, just occasional freelance stuff), and the latter seems more important here. It seems to limit my ability to get into the right social circles and find women other than the ones with no social rank themselves (e.g., massage girls).
So, I will continue to pursue options that don't require being well-connected.
Scorpio33 - Regarding AFF/CFF, is your account free or paid? Do you target certain kinds of profiles, or just see who contacts you? And what level of attractiveness do you find there? Lastly, did you meet any married ones?
[QUOTE=Night Cat]What I meant was, I'm single, but nowadays I lie and say I'm married, to avoid the "marriage pressure" that I used to get.
I've never had a friend introduce me to a hot chick. I'm not well-connected socially. I think my main problem in China is lack of the all-important social rank (defined by where you work, your position, salary, etc.). QUOTE]
Night...
It helps being one of the "lao ban". Sometimes, i get some strange smile coming from local wives of workers in the company. Being a guy with some moral standard, i will not dip my pecker in or near the workplace.. Just not to cool.
I also think that telling them upfront that i have wife and kids then it is up to them if they want to pursue some fun. This way there is very little possibility of being a bit too sticky for me to handle.
I sometimes plays to bad boy routine by letting them know that i have a few more of them on the side and that they are not the only one. I do prefer the ladies that already have their own $$$ (perfer that they their hubby is making some decent change) this way they are not trying to hookup for economic reasons.
Im not by any chance a hunk as Chow Yun Fat, but I do know how and when to whisper some sweet words to the girls at the right time so that their clothes will fall off easier as they enter my hotel room , while i hung up the "do not disturb " sign and i am latching the door completely shut.
I find it easier to get freebies in China than in the US or Europe. Even with the freebies, i still make sure that on every trip to China I go up for a few days to CP/Dongguan and checkout the wonderful lineup of girls...girls...girls.. .
Happy Freebie hunting.
I wonder, if Scorp were to represent himself as being married with no chance of divorce, how many of these freebies would bolt Actually, when they ask, I tell them I'm married, but separated (because it's the truth - now in the process of getting divorced). But I've found that most do not even ask. When I first posted my profile on AFF/CFF, it showed my marital status as married. Now it shows that I'm separated. I cannot tell if the change of marital status has had an affect on the number of contacts I'm getting though since I will often leave my profile turned off for a few weeks at a time.
I even find that about half don't even ask my age either. Of course on AFF/CFF they can clearly see it, but when I respond to posts on some of the other websites, they are more interested in seeing a picture and finding out what I enjoy doing in my free time. The last girl I met was just 21. We chatted for 2 days before we met. Never once asked my age. Just sent her my photo and she said something like 'good ur not old'. :D A lot of gals think I'm in my late 20s to early 30s. They act genuinely surprised whenever they find out my true age.
If his freebies are all Category 4 (as above), then my hat's off to him.
I would say that as far as being true freebies, then most would fall under Category 4. But I realize that everyone has different tastes though too. What I might find attractive could be a real dog to someone else and vice versa. And the photos they send me prior to meeting them are often misleading too - Photoshop and few clicks of the mouse can work some wonders on those pics that they share. So yeah, I've gotten some 'less then attractive' ones too, but when they're lying naked on my bed with the light off, I don't tend to mind so much. ;)
Most of those I meet, would fall under Categories 3 and 4. A few from Category 2, and never a single one from Category 1.
Scorpio33 - Regarding AFF/CFF, is your account free or paid? Do you target certain kinds of profiles, or just see who contacts you? And what level of attractiveness do you find there? Lastly, did you meet any married ones?When I first put my profile on AFF/CFF, the account was paid for the first 3 or 4 months. Now it's just free.
The only profiles I really target are those that say 'casual dating'. A lot of times, I'll just wait and take a look at the list of who has viewed my profile first - then make contact with those gals. Other times I'll send out a wink if I have just a passing interest in them, or a quick message if someone has really piqued my interest.
Some of the gals there on the site are beautiful, others - well, not so much. Most of the ones I find would probably be labeled as cute or pretty.
Yep, I've met some married ones also - just started chatting with another one last night. She's 31 and looks pretty good. On her profile, her marital status said "prefer not to say". So, I just asked her if she was married. Her reply was "yes, do you mind?". I said "no, as long as your husband doesn't mind you knowing me ;)". She just gave me a big grin back in return and said she'd like to stop by some evening on her way home from work. Her office is quite close to my place and she has a car so, should be pretty easy for her to come over. I did ask her why she posted on AFF/CFF and her answer was that she has a boring life and wants to have more friends. I have met others that claim they are separated, but still live with their husband because of their financial situation.
Ragnarok,
I think Language proficiency is the most important in the end. Then it's money and stature. If you can sweet talk girls, you can get them pretty easily. If you have money and can't sweet talk, you still get the girls since you have money.
Friend of mine had an interesting comment the other day, he said that if I tell the girls I am married (which I am with a kid) then "its their fault for coming to you". In other words, I have the moral high ground. Interesting but irrelevant.
I do prefer married ones too. Had on in Shanghai, hottest sex and totally "free". Almost gave some taxi drivers heart attacks with us groping and making out in the back seat. Another was this Sichuan girl I had known as a friend and flirted with for years. Didnt think it would go anywhere except as good friends. Then one day she calls up, comes up from Shanghai to see me in Beijing and we fuck like rabbits for 2 straight days. She knew I was married, knew my wife AND she was a virgin. We stay good friends and there are no expectations about a relationship in the future. So they come in all types.
But I consider myself lucky so far, have not had the freebie that will not let go or is a true gold digger (I have some but so far have been able to Tai-Chi the subject away). Like what is being said here, freebie sex is the greatest just be extra careful. You could wind up with some who hang on.
Just an interesting question. Is it easier to approach a girl if you are white or ABC? Lets get some opinions out there.
Sorry. Didn't finish.
I think it depends a lot on the girl you are pursuing as well. Some girls's eyes light up when they know that you are from overseas. They have this dream and romanticize about being taken to US, europe Austrailia etc. And they see you as a golden ticket if they can latch on to you and win you over. In addition, you being overseas signifies to them that you have money. Money equals to something good period. I would say 90% of the women in China value money over anything else.
I mean if you find a girl who just came from the villages to work in a factory to earn enough to send money back home to their family so they can at least afford a refrigerator, they are the ones that are seeking a better life. They all eye you as a way to get ahead in life.
I think that being an ABC would have more advantages than being white. I find Chinese girls to be resistant against being with a white person for some reason. That's the impression that I've gotten. So just looking more Chinese I find that you have a better chance. But money always seems to be the driving factor of everything though.
Of course there's always those college students that are fascinated about being with a white guy, they just like the feeling and couldn't care much about the money.
Man, I guess in the very end, it just depends on the girl you are going after. It depends on your mandarin skill level. And it depends on how much money you can shell out.
You can be ugly, but if you have money, have a nice big apartment, and she sees that, girls in China can overlook many things when it comes to security.
What can I say? Some girls like big dicks, some girls are afraid of big dicks. It all depends. Generalizing something doesn't always yield the results you are looking for. But most girls in China are all about how much Maos you have, and how willing you are to be with them for the long run.
Friend of mine had an interesting comment the other day, he said that if I tell the girls I am married (which I am with a kid) then "its their fault for coming to you". In other words, I have the moral high ground. Interesting but irrelevant.
I do prefer married ones too. Had on in Shanghai, hottest sex and totally "free". Almost gave some taxi drivers heart attacks with us groping and making out in the back seat. Another was this Sichuan girl I had known as a friend and flirted with for years. Didnt think it would go anywhere except as good friends. Then one day she calls up, comes up from Shanghai to see me in Beijing and we fuck like rabbits for 2 straight days. She knew I was married, knew my wife AND she was a virgin. We stay good friends and there are no expectations about a relationship in the future. So they come in all types.
But I consider myself lucky so far, have not had the freebie that will not let go or is a true gold digger (I have some but so far have been able to Tai-Chi the subject away). Like what is being said here, freebie sex is the greatest just be extra careful. You could wind up with some who hang on.
Just an interesting question. Is it easier to approach a girl if you are white or ABC? Lets get some opinions out there.
Ragnarok42
11-27-07, 04:26
So, I just asked her if she was married. Her reply was "yes, do you mind?". I said "no, as long as your husband doesn't mind you knowing me ;)". She just gave me a big grin back in return and said she'd like to stop by some evening on her way home from work. Her office is quite close to my place and she has a car so, should be pretty easy for her to come over. I did ask her why she posted on AFF/CFF and her answer was that she has a boring life and wants to have more friends. I have met others that claim they are separated, but still live with their husband because of their financial situation.
More power to you buddy, just be very careful of something they do here. They lure you into sex with them and half way through the husband comes banging on the door saying you lured his wife into sex and demand money. Now I am not saying they are all like this, I am sure there are plenty of real cases of women just looking for sex. But just be careful of the trap, I have had friends here who have fallen for it and have been taken to the police. Unlike the hooker trap, these guys can legitametly take you to the police and they will likely take their side, calling us "western perverts", etc.
So play carefully and dont get burned. Safety first fellow mongers and happy hunting.
To add my 2 fen to this interesting discussion:
In my rough estimation, there are 4 categories of girls:
1. (33%) Looking for money ("bad girls"). This includes xiaojie, and girls looking for sugar daddies (married Chinese guys, usually).
2. (33%) Looking for marriage ("good girls"). They won't have sex with you if they see no potential for marriage.
3. (33%) True freebies. These are usually older or less attractive.
4. (1%) True freebies who are actually young and attractive.
The questions about how much money people make, their position, etc., it seems that everyone asks everyone. They do this to establish your social rank. Social rank means everything here. People don't wear stripes on their sleeves like in the military, so this is their way to find out from each other where they rank, and therefore how (or whether) to relate to each other.Thanks for clarifying these points, and I absolutely agree with you. I'm sure it's not true everywhere but I think it would be very difficult to find a married freebie in China. Not impossible, but definately not as easy as the West. Divorced or lonely unmarried older girls are probably the best opportunity. Again, many Chinese men will only marry virgins, and some mainland Chinese millionaire went so far as to advertise for a potential wife to apply for the position as long as she was a virgin. He got, I believe, thousands of responses.
My comments about Chinese asking probing questions definately is true with regard to good girls/bad girls and others in between. When a new girl starts to work at a company the other girls will interrogate her until they find out about her family, how much money she has, does she have a boyfriend, what does the boyfriend do, etc. Etc. Then, based upon the answers they will assign a rank/status. Now you're thinking to yourself, "Hell, she could just lie about it", but it isn't that easy. In China, when it is a question of face, you are guilty until proven innocent.
Again, my point in all of this is just that freebies in China are not like freebies in the West, and the motivations are completly different for most Chinese girls.
More power to you buddy, just be very careful of something they do here. They lure you into sex with them and half way through the husband comes banging on the door saying you lured his wife into sex and demand money. Now I am not saying they are all like this, I am sure there are plenty of real cases of women just looking for sex. But just be careful of the trap, I have had friends here who have fallen for it and have been taken to the police. Unlike the hooker trap, these guys can legitametly take you to the police and they will likely take their side, calling us "western perverts", etc.
So play carefully and dont get burned. Safety first fellow mongers and happy hunting.
Rag
I always ask if i can see a pic of their hubby..just in case of situations like this. I prefer to know who is really going to be [CodeWord140] (http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord140) at me and can recognize the potential attacker when the problems arises. just SOP
There is always a bit of danger in playing with another man's plaything.
Ragnarok42
11-27-07, 05:06
There is always a bit of danger in playing with another man's plaything.
Yeah, I've dipped my stick in another man's honey well too. But I do agree that it makes things a lot simpler since they usually are as clingy. And they are a lot less inhinbited. Some of the most memorable sex I have had has been with married freebies.
Would like to meet you when I return to BJ next month. Maybe you, me and Zhuren can get together and trade war stories. Maybe even some phone numbers....
Dan Hawaii
11-27-07, 10:43
Dan;
I would not catagorize them as nighcats cat 3. I currently doing a MILF that is fairly hot...around an 8 or 9. These are true freebies.. they have money from their hubby and really do not need you to wine and dine them too much. They just want some hot...hot... sex. This one that i am currently doing even shaved her pussy since you know that i am not fond of the friggin bush jungle. I even ask her what if her hubby ask, she told me that he has not sample her goods for atleast several months. been too busy working and travelling for work. Her body is tone and spends time at the gym daily. I think she has spent more on me.
You are one lucky guy. I guess yours is in category 4. I can only dream or...... pay for it :) . Hahaha.
No freebies for me, I don't speak Mandarin:( . But next time around, I'll bring that little translating computer thing. Aahh, fuck that, I don't have the time to woo a freebie. I want to sample all the young WGs I can in my short vacation time there. Thank goodness there are KTVs, Saunas, and BBSs.
Loveasiangirls
11-27-07, 11:00
I find that married freebies are the best as they want to go home after. Don't stick around like the single girls. I also think that they generally "perform" better. Freebies can be a lot of work to land if you use the internet like I do. You need free time to chat them up and assess their potential on MSN.
But the hard work has its rewards. I landed one on Beijing. Early 30s, married with a husband out of the country most of the time. She also has a regular boyfriend. She meets me once or twice when I travel to Beijing. She also introduced me to one of her friends and is not jealous at all. Actually, when I arrived in Beijing last month and I called her, she told me she was on period and suggested I call her friend and get back to her the following week. Sweet girl!
Over time you can buld a good rolodex. I have enough contacts now that I need to manage my schedule when I come to China and make excuses to some as to why I am not available every night I am in town (a problem only with the single ones). I happens that things don't "pan out" so I have to get a working girl. Which reminds me, freebies are not free but they provide company at the restaurant too.
Actually, as I have said before, sex that you pay for is cheaper than free sex.
Very interesting topic.
In regards to AFF/CFF,
Are you guys targeting english speaking profiles? I've been attacking both the english and Chinese profiles but I am not getting a good rate of return.
I still haven't been able to prove that being ABC with command of the language is better than being white. And with all the talks about bagging the married ones, I'm beginning to like that route. But I guess being 27 but looking like I'm 20 probably will not help my case.
Old Mean Dog
11-27-07, 16:42
Thanks for clarifying these points, and I absolutely agree with you. I'm sure it's not true everywhere but I think it would be very difficult to find a married freebie in China. Not impossible, but definately not as easy as the West. Divorced or lonely unmarried older girls are probably the best opportunity. Again, many Chinese men will only marry virgins, and some mainland Chinese millionaire went so far as to advertise for a potential wife to apply for the position as long as she was a virgin. He got, I believe, thousands of responses.
My comments about Chinese asking probing questions definately is true with regard to good girls/bad girls and others in between. When a new girl starts to work at a company the other girls will interrogate her until they find out about her family, how much money she has, does she have a boyfriend, what does the boyfriend do, etc. Etc. Then, based upon the answers they will assign a rank/status. Now you're thinking to yourself, "Hell, she could just lie about it", but it isn't that easy. In China, when it is a question of face, you are guilty until proven innocent.
Again, my point in all of this is just that freebies in China are not like freebies in the West, and the motivations are completly different for most Chinese girls.
Not so difficult to find, if you apply yourself. I once had a private driver for awhile in SZ, one day he was ill so he sent his sister to pick me up. Turns out she is 34, speaks some English and works for a major insurance company and was free that day to drive. Of course she said she wanted to improve her English, so we made a date and after a quick coffee, invited her to my apartment, which she agreed to without hesitation. Needless to say, it did not take me long to get her into bed and after the deed, she admitted that she was married and that her husband was a Colonel in the Army stationed in Guangdong. She told me he only comes home once a month, she was horny as hell and wanted to sample a "laowai". After hearing of her husbands profession, I decided to make this a one time good deal.
I have picked up quite a few "freebies" at places frequented by foreigners, the local Starbucks in SZ and Blendz in GZ work well for me as these girls seem to be the more modern thinking, interested in laowai's and want to expand their horizons.
-CPE
Ira Johnson
11-27-07, 17:01
I too have enjoyed a freebie here in Changchun. She is a 35 year old woman, and she and her hubby are separated (he lives in Shanghai). They remain married for the kid. She contacted me on myspace, and after a few 'friend-only' dates (many of which she insisted on paying for), I kissed her and we fell into bed.
She hit the gym daily, and had a rock hard body. Also, for a Chi-babe, her tits were rather impressive. She was never willing to initiate sex, but she never turned me down once we began that phase of our relationship. Actually, that's not true. She turned me down once because she was on her period, but suggested I visit a FS bathhouse because (her words) "men need to have sex or they get I'll. "
I suspect she has had other laowai lovers, and that is fine. I always used a condom because she did not want to get pregnant, and I wanted no souvenirs either. She shaved for me without asking as a reward. When it comes to DATY, she said Chinese men either don't do it or "do it wrong. "
She also introduced my buddy Clark Savage to another MILF, who he still sees occasionally. I stopped seeing mine because I got tired of the nagging. "teaching is not a good enough job, " "go to the gym, " "teach my son English, " "help me open a business that caters to Westerners, " blah blah blah. If I want that kind of grief I will marry her.
My current freebie is a GF that is 32 and also has a rock-hard body. She is amazing in bed, says she loves me, bought an IUD to use with me because she wants condom-free sex, and will try anything barring anal. Her BJs are world-class, and she swallows. However, she is clingy, and wants me to commit to an exclusive relationship. Caution ahead.
I am also dating a 24-year-old that I am truly in love with, so I will not commit to another woman exclusively until I see how this pans out. Interestingly, I have yet to have sex with the 24-year-old, yet SHE is the one I want to be with more.
Melodrama. Not just for America any more.
You are one lucky guy. I guess yours is in category 4. I can only dream or...... pay for it :) . Hahaha.
No freebies for me, I don't speak Mandarin:( . But next time around, I'll bring that little translating computer thing. Aahh, fuck that, I don't have the time to woo a freebie. I want to sample all the young WGs I can in my short vacation time there. Thank goodness there are KTVs, Saunas, and BBSs.
Dan
It is not difficult to snag a MILF freebie. i do not live in china but goes there for business five to six times a year. Im an ABC so my mandarin somewhat sucks. I think that plays an advantage to me. If she is saying something stupid i could say that i did not understand. the language works better with WG than freebies. Cause freebies usually more easier to deal with especially the MILF variety. One of the MILF told me that just coming in for a few days works out better. I usually tell her about a month in advance when i am going to be there, so she could make up excuses to tell her hubby that she is going to be out for those days and tell her husband to take some business trip or something.
Crazy Jim Wood
11-27-07, 22:54
Many Chinese women get an IUD after the first kid. I don't know if they are forced to do so, by the one child policy, but that is probably the reason they get it.
I read where some 70 year old woman forgot to remove hers.
You can actually feel it when you finger the chick. That was how I found out. I was like, "what the fuck..."
Ragnarok42
11-28-07, 00:42
Many Chinese women get an IUD after the first kid. I don't know if they are forced to do so, by the one child policy, but that is probably the reason they get it.
You can actually feel it when you finger the chick. That was how I found out. I was like, "what the fuck..."
I felt it when she was doing cowboy on me. I was like.."is it supposed to be that hard?" Definate turn off.
I have picked up quite a few "freebies"
-CPE
This is proof that middle aged, fat, baldy guys find it is really easy to get pussy in China, because our friend Expat looks exactly like Homer Simpson and the girls say he is "cute". :D Hohoho! Lol
This is proof that middle aged, fat, baldy guys find it is really easy to get pussy in China, because our friend Expat looks exactly like Homer Simpson and the girls say he is "cute". :D Hohoho! Lol
According to usually reliable local sources, that Chinese figure with a pot belly, no hair and a long thin beard is a sex symbol from the Tao. They also say the belly is where men store their chi ....
That explains a lot ....
This is proof that middle aged, fat, baldy guys find it is really easy to get pussy in China, because our friend Expat looks exactly like Homer Simpson and the girls say he is "cute". :D Hohoho! LolOK, I said I was sorry for the whole middle aged, fat, baldy thing. Are you guys NEVER going to forgive me?
Wadman and I are going to meet up this evening and discuss strategy, perhaps share some Shenzhen war stories. Stay tuned!
Expat looks exactly like Homer Simpson and the girls say he is "cute". :D Hohoho! Lol
Expat, have you considered Hollywood?
Old Mean Dog
11-28-07, 17:03
This is proof that middle aged, fat, baldy guys find it is really easy to get pussy in China, because our friend Expat looks exactly like Homer Simpson and the girls say he is "cute". :D Hohoho! Lol
This coming from the Grandpa Simpson look-a-like. I'm known as Da Xingxing around these parts, the great albino gorilla.
-CPE
G Funk Era
12-01-07, 19:07
Out of curiosity I signed up for Chinese Friend Finder. I like Asian women, but am not planning a visit anytime soon. I thought maybe I could get some pen-pal type relationships started and find recent immigrants to LA.
Already I have a few profile views (yay! ), but I can't read them at all. In fact, while I think they're written using Chinese characters, they appear as random gibberish on my screen (except a few ideographs here and there). I am able to view other sites that use east asian characters just fine. Athough I can't read any of it I recognize the origin of the text. I can't read Chinese but my hope was to try to translate the text using resources on the web. Is there some trick to getting it to display properly first?
Here's one of their profile headlines:
¤£§Æ±æ©¼¦¹错¥¢这À¿ªÓ¦Ó过ªº缘¤À¡A¯u诚ªº¤Í谊¡A²H²Hªº¦^忆
I sent CFF a question about this by email but no response.
Hi,
My second post. I introduced myself on the living thread. I have so much to say and ask, but I'm trying not to spam the forum.
In my first 2 weeks I discovered that the students are not always aware of the meanings behind the words they use. Their vocabulary is very limited and they often use certain words incorrectly. I got in the habit of never assuming they understand what I say even after I ask them if they do. They always say yes. I'm always being called handsome or lovely. Though I am a decent looking guy, I'm not always sure that's the same thing as what they are trying to say. The first girl I got to have a conversation with, alone, was a very positive experience at the time. It's nearly impossible to get them alone, they always bring a friend or 2. This one sat very close to me in a classroom as she asked the regular questions about myself and the US. She kept touching my hand and I honestly thought she was coming on to me with the words she used and the way she said them. She made odd remarks about how she knew a teacher who married an American and had a child. She thought that was strange but also said she wondered what her child would look like if she had one with an American. She also kept telling me how Changde was a very small town and that I would be much happier in a big city. She mentioned a few she had been to, and why she liked them and I agreed they sounded nice. But she eventually said I would be happiest in Tianjin or Beijing. She and her family lived in Tianjin. When I agreed she got very excited and was so happy I thought she was going to jump me right there. I thought man this is easy and she was very cute. Then the lights went out and she got very weird saying she was late. When I asked, she told me how the school turned off the electricity at 11 pm each night and that she had to be in her room by then. I thought that was odd but let her go. Much later I learned that they do this in most places. The students have no light, electricity, after 11 and no heat or hotwater, ever. Wash their clothes by hand and dry outside. Panties, bras and all swinging in the wind. Pervert's paradise.
I spoke with her for 3 nights running. I swear I thought she tried to hug me twice and reached for my hand several times as we took walks around the campus. I always walked her to her dorm but never tried anything. She emailed me that she was going to Beijing for 10 days to look for job prospects after she graduated this term. She told me how her favorite part of the day was checking her email to see if I had responded to hers. She wanted to know what I wanted her to bring back with her, and she said she wanted to cook me dinner. The next day was Friday and she was leaving on Saturday. I asked if I could take her to dinner before she left. I got no reply. I couldn't contact her all the next day and on Saturday morning I got an email saying just "Goodbye" and that was it. Never heard from her again. I was totally lost. That was just about the most bizarre thing that ever happened to me with a woman, and I've had some psychos back home. Did I say something wrong? Came on to strong? I don't know, but I now pretty much believe that the conversations I had with her were not the same as the one's she had with me. Body language included. At least she never called me 'handsome' but did say I was lovely.
Third Post. After the National Holiday, I started classes. I taught only the freshmen and had almost no contact with anyone else. Even other teachers. I thought it odd that I was never approached by any of them or given any direction on what or how to teach the classes. Just said it was up to me. At least I knew enough not to talk about politics or religion. I was told that if I needed any help that I was to use the students. This is common practice. All my life as a student and an adult I followed the 'keep all relationships professional' idea. Asking a student for help with anything was hard for me. Hell, giving out my cell phone number was a big no no for me. Some of them knew where I lived on campus. This was a little disconcerting as I figured I would be bothered night and day with phone calls and pounding on the door. In the US I would have. Here, boy was I naive.
Although they were all very polite and eager to help, none of them ever went out of their way to offer it. None took the initiative. Cell phone never rang. Most of these oddities I began to think were culture bound. I had a brilliant idea, why not search the net for more info. Dumbass. Believe me, I'm not really this moronic. I knew everything one should know walking the streets from Chicago to Los Angeles up to Anchorage Alaska. In China, at least in Changde, I might as well be from another planet. Most of the people here have never before seen someone who is not Chinese, and I stand out in a crowd anywhere.
At first the stares were mildly entertaining but soon became not only annoying, but bothersome enough for me not to even go out. I did eventually realize that here Chinese only know Chinese. That is all they have ever known. This extends to everything from the classroom to socialization. Both students and townies. The more I learned the more panicked I became. In the US, everyone is different. Seeing a Chinese person you don't bat an eye. I unconsciously lived my life doing and thinking in an American way and changed nothing except that I knew I was in China. That might account for the lack of socialization I had. It also made me realize that knowing Chinese women may be very hard for the simple fact that I was not Chinese. This was no Shanghai or Hong Kong where another American is nothing. Here, I am not even human.
That quickly changed much of my views on how I saw the Chinese after that. Especially the women. Now I seriously began to wonder about my last conversation with that first girl. I mean, she was from Tianjin after all. I really had no idea how I was going to survive here when I could not relate to anyone even on the most basic level. Boom, Culture Shock, you never can know what it's like until you experience it. Like trying to describe being drunk and the morning after. Not sure whether to stay in bed or run on home. But since I am stubborn to the point of insanity (stupidity) I am still here.
EDITOR'S NOTE: I certainly hope that the author or somebody else will post a link to this report in the Reports of Distinction thread. Please Click Here (http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/announcement-reportsofdistinction.php?) for more information.
Ira Johnson
12-02-07, 01:02
Did I say something wrong? Came on to strong? I don't know, but I now pretty much believe that the conversations I had with her were not the same as the one's she had with me. Body language included. At least she never called me 'handsome' but did say I was lovely.Sounds like every dating relationship I've had here. My friends keep warning me about the skittish nature of Chinese girls, but I keep plugging away. My current GF has dumped me without explanation twice now, and each time the relationship resumes with more passion and commitment. It's really tough, but I am learning to ride the wave.
Many of my expat friends who have long-term GFs or wives describe the same behavior. Some think it is a combination of playing 'hard-to-get' and genuine confusion over their own feelings; others think it may have to do with outside influences (family, friends, etc). I am often reminded of the concept of 'face' and told that these girls think they are constantly being watched and judged, and therefore will jump to conclusions and run away.
I am glad I stuck with my GF - things get better and better. But I still expect another unexplained breakup in the offing. I hae the game, I don't want to play, but I am beginning to realize that I must.
Try to remain strong - it is not you in these instances, it really is her.
Here's one of their profile headlines:
¤£§Æ±æ©¼¦¹错¥¢这À¿ªÓ¦Ó过ªº缘¤À¡A¯u诚ªº¤Í谊¡A²H²Hªº¦^忆
I sent CFF a question about this by email but no response.
That profile headline you received was written in Chinese characters and your pc is not equipped to accept Chinese. Happens all the time.
Just check the profiles and see if they speak English. If they do not and if you do not speak Chinese,, move on to the next one. Sometimes I find that the ladies do speak English but write there profile in Chinese however.
ES
G Funk Era
12-02-07, 03:08
That profile headline you received was written in Chinese characters and your pc is not equipped to accept Chinese. Happens all the time.
Just check the profiles and see if they speak English. If they do not and if you do not speak Chinese,, move on to the next one. Sometimes I find that the ladies do speak English but write there profile in Chinese however.
ESYou're right, it's probably futile for me to try to read Chinese anyways, but I was curious. It's probably a lot more efficient to let the ladies practice their English on me.
Hi,
My second post. I introduced myself on the living thread. I have so much to say and ask, but I'm trying not to spam the forum.
In my first 2 weeks I discovered that the students are not always aware of the meanings behind the words they use. Their vocabulary is very limited and they often use certain words incorrectly. I got in the habit of never assuming they understand what I say even after I ask them if they do. They always say yes. I'm always being called handsome or lovely. Though I am a decent looking guy, I'm not always sure that's the same thing as what they are trying to say. The first girl I got to have a conversation with, alone, was a very positive experience at the time. It's nearly impossible to get them alone, they always bring a friend or 2. This one sat very close to me in a classroom as she asked the regular questions about myself and the US. She kept touching my hand and I honestly thought she was coming on to me with the words she used and the way she said them. She made odd remarks about how she knew a teacher who married an American and had a child. She thought that was strange but also said she wondered what her child would look like if she had one with an American. She also kept telling me how Changde was a very small town and that I would be much happier in a big city. She mentioned a few she had been to, and why she liked them and I agreed they sounded nice. But she eventually said I would be happiest in Tianjin or Beijing. She and her family lived in Tianjin. When I agreed she got very excited and was so happy I thought she was going to jump me right there. I thought man this is easy and she was very cute. Then the lights went out and she got very weird saying she was late. When I asked, she told me how the school turned off the electricity at 11 pm each night and that she had to be in her room by then. I thought that was odd but let her go. Much later I learned that they do this in most places. The students have no light, electricity, after 11 and no heat or hotwater, ever. Wash their clothes by hand and dry outside. Panties, bras and all swinging in the wind. Pervert's paradise.
I spoke with her for 3 nights running. I swear I thought she tried to hug me twice and reached for my hand several times as we took walks around the campus. I always walked her to her dorm but never tried anything. She emailed me that she was going to Beijing for 10 days to look for job prospects after she graduated this term. She told me how her favorite part of the day was checking her email to see if I had responded to hers. She wanted to know what I wanted her to bring back with her, and she said she wanted to cook me dinner. The next day was Friday and she was leaving on Saturday. I asked if I could take her to dinner before she left. I got no reply. I couldn't contact her all the next day and on Saturday morning I got an email saying just "Goodbye" and that was it. Never heard from her again. I was totally lost. That was just about the most bizarre thing that ever happened to me with a woman, and I've had some psychos back home. Did I say something wrong? Came on to strong? I don't know, but I now pretty much believe that the conversations I had with her were not the same as the one's she had with me. Body language included. At least she never called me 'handsome' but did say I was lovely.
Your experience illustrates to me the strong connection betwen language and culture, i.e. one cannot be separated from the other. Chinese students of English often do not comprehend the cultural impact of words they use.
It is impossible for me to speculate about this young lady's motivation. Many people believe associating with a foreigner brings them prestige. She may just be taking a test drive to gauge the power of her sexuality with someone "safe" and from a culture different from her own.
Hi,
My second post. I introduced myself on the living thread. I have so much to say and ask, but I'm trying not to spam the forum.
In my first 2 weeks I discovered that the students are not always aware of the meanings behind the words they use. Their vocabulary is very limited and they often use certain words incorrectly. I got in the habit of never assuming they understand what I say even after I ask them if they do. They always say yes. I'm always being called handsome or lovely. Though I am a decent looking guy, I'm not always sure that's the same thing as what they are trying to say. The first girl I got to have a conversation with, alone, was a very positive experience at the time. It's nearly impossible to get them alone, they always bring a friend or 2. This one sat very close to me in a classroom as she asked the regular questions about myself and the US. She kept touching my hand and I honestly thought she was coming on to me with the words she used and the way she said them. She made odd remarks about how she knew a teacher who married an American and had a child. She thought that was strange but also said she wondered what her child would look like if she had one with an American. She also kept telling me how Changde was a very small town and that I would be much happier in a big city. She mentioned a few she had been to, and why she liked them and I agreed they sounded nice. But she eventually said I would be happiest in Tianjin or Beijing. She and her family lived in Tianjin. When I agreed she got very excited and was so happy I thought she was going to jump me right there. I thought man this is easy and she was very cute. Then the lights went out and she got very weird saying she was late. When I asked, she told me how the school turned off the electricity at 11 pm each night and that she had to be in her room by then. I thought that was odd but let her go. Much later I learned that they do this in most places. The students have no light, electricity, after 11 and no heat or hotwater, ever. Wash their clothes by hand and dry outside. Panties, bras and all swinging in the wind. Pervert's paradise.
I spoke with her for 3 nights running. I swear I thought she tried to hug me twice and reached for my hand several times as we took walks around the campus. I always walked her to her dorm but never tried anything. She emailed me that she was going to Beijing for 10 days to look for job prospects after she graduated this term. She told me how her favorite part of the day was checking her email to see if I had responded to hers. She wanted to know what I wanted her to bring back with her, and she said she wanted to cook me dinner. The next day was Friday and she was leaving on Saturday. I asked if I could take her to dinner before she left. I got no reply. I couldn't contact her all the next day and on Saturday morning I got an email saying just "Goodbye" and that was it. Never heard from her again. I was totally lost. That was just about the most bizarre thing that ever happened to me with a woman, and I've had some psychos back home. Did I say something wrong? Came on to strong? I don't know, but I now pretty much believe that the conversations I had with her were not the same as the one's she had with me. Body language included. At least she never called me 'handsome' but did say I was lovely.This is exactly the way a good Chinese girl will act. She will make many small suggestions, comments and gestures but never anything overt. It is up to the man to make the first (and most) moves. If this does not happen then the girl will just move on and assume it wasn't meant to be.
I can tell from her comments that she was more than a little interested in you. If she wasn't you would have never gotten this close, or spent time with her alone.
Good luck,
Ragnarok42
12-02-07, 08:37
She kept touching my hand and I honestly thought she was coming on to me with the words she used and the way she said them. She made odd remarks about how she knew a teacher who married an American and had a child. She thought that was strange but also said she wondered what her child would look like if she had one with an American.
Then the lights went out and she got very weird saying she was late. When I asked, she told me how the school turned off the electricity at 11 pm each night and that she had to be in her room by then. I thought that was odd but let her go.
I spoke with her for 3 nights running. I swear I thought she tried to hug me twice and reached for my hand several times as we took walks around the campus. I always walked her to her dorm but never tried anything. She emailed me that she was going to Beijing for 10 days to look for job prospects after she graduated this term. She told me how her favorite part of the day was checking her email to see if I had responded to hers. She wanted to know what I wanted her to bring back with her, and she said she wanted to cook me dinner. The next day was Friday and she was leaving on Saturday. I asked if I could take her to dinner before she left. I got no reply. I couldn't contact her all the next day and on Saturday morning I got an email saying just "Goodbye" and that was it. Never heard from her again.
Dude, I dont pretend to understand women in ANY culture and I speak both English and Chinese fluently and have spent half my life in both cultures. Women dont make sense even when you know what they are saying, period.
But my read on the situation is - she was literally throwing herself at you and you didnt bite. I mean come on, sending her home when the lights go out? And waiting until the last day to ask her to dinner, no wonder she got fed up and only said "goodbye". Brother she was pissed, royally pissed. You dont have to ask "what did I do wrong?", you did everything wrong.
If you want her back, send her an email apologizing and telling her some nice things and that you care for her, etc; you know chicks dig that. If not, then forget her. You two definately do not click and now you have a steep hill to climb to get back into her good graces.
I got no reply. I couldn't contact her all the next day and on Saturday morning I got an email saying just "Goodbye" and that was it. Never heard from her again. I was totally lost. .
Thanks for your posts. Enjoyed reading something different.
My guess is:
1. She already has a steady boyfriend somewhere and with you she was just testing the waters.
2. She told her mother about you and her mother didn't think you would be a suitable match.
My advice is to try not becoming emotionally involved. Just find the ones that are easy fucks, fuck 'em, and then quickly find another one. It's better to do this off campus and don't tell them where you work. If they don't speak english that's good, it will help you learn chinese. Try chinesepod.com
And please keep posting about campus girls, many readers are interested.
Arctic1, Ragnarok42, and Santa,
I think you are each have it right. I didn't react that first night when the lights went out because she had already bolted like a scared rabbit (it is a kind of it is a kind of curfew) and also I was still trying to deal with the idea of being in China. Had I been in the US I probably would have had no problem. That would have been the way to go. I'm glad I didn't though, because I have a lot more to tell.
I realize this may not be the kind of thing people come to this forum to read. I put it here anyway because I doubt anyone else would know better than you guys. Right now I have a much better idea of how shit works here and it's a good bet she was playing me. I know I sure was snowed then. Right now I am still playing it safe. Mostly because of the emotional part but also because I am not sure I want to be known as the English teacher who banged the first Chinese he met in the first couple weeks he had been in China.
Heh, but I know that is what this board is for. I hope you will bear with me.
Ragnarok42
12-02-07, 12:10
I realize this may not be the kind of thing people come to this forum to read. I put it here anyway because I doubt anyone else would know better than you guys. Right now I have a much better idea of how shit works here and it's a good bet she was playing me. I know I sure was snowed then. Right now I am still playing it safe. Mostly because of the emotional part but also because I am not sure I want to be known as the English teacher who banged the first Chinese he met in the first couple weeks he had been in China.
Heh, but I know that is what this board is for. I hope you will bear with me.
Dude,
no need to feel self conscious, we have all been in your boat before. We dont want to come off sounding all superior or anything, we have all done stupid stuff in the past and undoubtly will do so in the future.
You sound fairly young or naive of how things happen here (or both). I say take advantage of your situation to sow some wild oats and enjoy life in China. Do not get emotionally involved too quickly or you will be sucker punched (I have been there too). Play fast and loose and I can believe you will have to time of your life.
Cheers
I agree with ragnoruk42. To some chinese girls you are a god, a dream come true. You need to acknowledge your attractiveness. Based on my experience chasing girls for 6 trips to china, i would say you need to take charge. maybe you would be more comfortable doing this with girls other than your students at first. Start acting confident, isolate your target, and make your move. Even if they are not interested in you, they will love telling their gf's about how a laowai put the moves on her. And remember, some might feel obligated to reject your initial attempt, but not separate herself from you. Consider that a yellow light likely to turn green.
Just my 2 cents
Well, I'm not that young, but being clueless to things here in China? Yep. However I am a fast learner and with about 300 freshman girls in my classes, I've talked with most of them outside of class. Confidence is probably not my problem, which is one of the reasons I'm confused. I definitely get the idea that they want to play with fire, but always run away before they get burned. I have formed a cynical detachment to them in general. No matter how cute they are, they act just like half their age and that makes it much easier. No doubt it will not be so easy once the weather heats up and they start wearing next to nothing again. I'm really not that interested in the students though other than practice. I just don't have anything else right now since they all speak English well enough for a conversation. I am much more interested in the P4P. Probably won't project much confidence as long as I can't speak the language anyway. This is a completely different game for me so I have to learn the rules. But maybe the differences are not as extreme as I had once thought they were. They scare way too easy, have to work on a lighter touch.
I'll post the last part of my story and then see. I think Wanabee is dead on about the initial no, but between the fact that it's almost impossible to get them alone, and that they always play that culture card. Of course it's also possible that word has gotten around thats how to shake me.
GeorgeAmerica
12-02-07, 19:00
A sure way to make life in Changde more difficult would be to sleep with your students. The school knows most of what you do....so they will know if you sleep with your student. Once that is found out, then you will be isolated by the administration of the school.
Start slow, become friends to with your students and they will assist you any way possible. Look at it this way, you are an outsider and trust must be gained. There will be other opportunities with other women in Changde. It will just take time and effort. The worst thing you can do is to sit in your apartment and not go out. The looking and pointing will still be there, but you will get used to it. Every city has something that is special and you will find something you enjoy.
Don't be afraid to go out and find it. Yes, that includes women also.
Red Rock II
12-02-07, 21:36
Rabbus,
People come to this board to share their experience with girls/women. That is why most of the stories that you have read are about how one got hot sex with freebies through Internet with a few chats, how a person ended up in bed in a hotel room with a girl they met in the elevator after a few eye contacts, how a girl that works on the counter in a hotel knocked on your door at night just because you told her that she was beautiful, and how a person screw his co-workers, his students, his employees, his bosses…… But please don’t get an impression that every girl/woman that you bump into would be potentially interested in getting bed with you. Chinese people sometimes got a wrong idea about American women too by watching American movies or TV shows. On one frame, a man and a woman met and chat in a coffee shop. On next frame, they had had sex lying on the bed, and the woman asked the man: “What is your name?”…
In a small city like Chengde, it will take a lot of guts for a student to go out with her foreign teacher, let alone to sleep with him.
I agree with what Santa and other members said in their posts. Please don’t get yourself emotionally involved with any woman now. You just stepped into a cultural that you are unfamiliar with. It will be too early for you to judge a lady’s thinking at this point. Take your time to play around and get to know them. I am sure you will get someone that will invite themselves to your apartment and your bed at the meantime.
I don’t think that you did anything wrong with the girl that you mentioned in your post. I think that you are right that you didn’t make any move even when lights went off. Remember you have a job there. Howevery, you may need to be a little bit more aggressive verbally. Santa’s guess will be mine: she may already have a boyfriend somewhere or her mom or her friends told her not to get too close to you. But it doesn’t mean that she would mind sleeping with you for a night or two. I would be testing her by taking her out to a bar and stay there as late as possible and drink as much as possible. If she bring a couple her friends with her or tell you that she can not drink or insist on going back after you have asked her to stay, forget about her!
Old Mean Dog
12-02-07, 22:09
A sure way to make life in Changde more difficult would be to sleep with your students. The school knows most of what you do....so they will know if you sleep with your student. Once that is found out, then you will be isolated by the administration of the school.
Start slow, become friends to with your students and they will assist you any way possible. Look at it this way, you are an outsider and trust must be gained. There will be other opportunities with other women in Changde. It will just take time and effort. The worst thing you can do is to sit in your apartment and not go out. The looking and pointing will still be there, but you will get used to it. Every city has something that is special and you will find something you enjoy.
Don't be afraid to go out and find it. Yes, that includes women also.
I also agree with this. If you are a full time teacher here, I would highly suggest to keep your pecker in your pocket. If the school gets wind of you banging students, your gonna be out of a job.
I have known several monger teachers, that let their little head get in the way of their profession and suddenly found themselves unemployed. This may or may not be of concern to you since common teaching jobs are a dime-a-dozen here, but if you're in a sweet setup, why risk it on a piece of pussy?
Staring: It's something you gotta get use too. I have always disliked the feeling of being stared at to such a degree, I would feel quite edgy if I knew all eyeballs were on me. It takes time, but you will come to learn, it is not rude here and the best way to counter it, is to stare right back at them with a somewhat glaring look. You will find that they will tend to look away, if you give them the look back.
Langauge: You must learn enough to be at survival level. You will find that this in itself is a great way to meet girls (other than your students), if you can even speak at least 10 words and/or 3 phrases to start with, you will be more respected by the locals and it has been my feeling that the majority of people I have encountered do not mind helping a laowai and many will go out of their way to help you. If a girl has any interest in the English language or Western culture, then you are a shoe in for a date.
Culture: You will need to become somewhat of a smart man on this. What may appear similiar on the surface to both cultures, 75% of the time is really not. As others have said, you are somewhat of a prize to these people, many will respect you for just being here longer than one month, while others will see you as a source of information for things they will never see or do themselves.
All foreigners in China are teachers to some degree, even if it's not our profession and/or source of income. They are just curious and want to know what life is like outside of China, once again, this is a great icebreaker to meet girls.
Teachers are quite respected here in China so try to seperate your job from your mongering hobby, the school does not want to lose face if you are known to be banging students and you may need their reference if you do decide to move onto another teaching position elsewhere.
My PoV,
-CPE
Dan Hawaii
12-02-07, 23:13
Hi Rabbus,
Since everyone has replied back with pretty much the best answers that I believe to be true, one suggestion would be to find a new job and move to a big city so that the culture shock would be subtle. CPE and many other forum members say there is a huge demand for English teachers, so finding another teaching job would not be a problem and you might get better pay in bigger cities. Like you and many other people said, many major cities have lots of white people living and breathing there. Might be a better change than a small city that is "behind in the times". The small town you are in may be a wrong fit for you and may not be ready for a you right now, maybe in a few years it will get with the current times. You know what I'm saying?
Plus there would be more gf opportunities in larger cities. Just a thought.
This is exactly the way a good Chinese girl will act. She will make many small suggestions, comments and gestures but never anything overt. It is up to the man to make the first (and most) moves. If this does not happen then the girl will just move on and assume it wasn't meant to be.
I can tell from her comments that she was more than a little interested in you. If she wasn't you would have never gotten this close, or spent time with her alone.
Furias makes a great point here. To put it another way, as someone posted in the past, a Chinese woman will not voluntarily be alone with a man with whom she does visualize a potential future relationship.
OldAsiaHand
12-03-07, 03:18
Rabbus:
There is a Chinese proverb roughly translated about not speaking directly from the heart concerning wants and desires. Many traditional Chinese women follow this. You need to learn to read between the lines. Many will say "No" when they really mean "Yes". On the other hand, most Chinese people will never say "No" directly. It is too confrontational. Silence is one of the best ways of saying no. Vice versa, it is best not to be so direct with Chinese girls.
I agree with the consensus of opinion about not shitting where you eat. Find some girls outside your workplace.
We cannot tell you about your specific set of circumstance since only you were there and know the girl. However, playful, friendly, touching and slapping are commonplace and may not have any sexual inference whatsoever most of the time. Many girls want to practice their English which may also have no sexual inference, however, sometimes we can convert this desire into bed.
IMHO, it can be really difficult to figure out where you stand. I've been here 12 years and am still learning every day.
Just my POV.
OAH
Dan Hawaii
12-03-07, 10:20
Hi Rabbus,
Since everyone has replied back with pretty much the best answers that I believe to be true, one suggestion would be to find a new job and move to a big city so that the culture shock would be subtle. CPE and many other forum members say there is a huge demand for English teachers, so finding another teaching job would not be a problem and you might get better pay in bigger cities. Like you and many other people said, many major cities have lots of white people living and breathing there. Might be a better change than a small city that is "behind in the times". The small town you are in may be a wrong fit for you and may not be ready for a you right now, maybe in a few years it will get with the current times. You know what I'm saying?
Plus there would be more gf opportunities in larger cities. Just a thought.
For example of this point: If I was born and raised in China and decided to live in the USA and travel there for the first time, I would want to select a desireable place to live where I will be the most comfortable. I would not pick a home in the outback country farm lands of Vermont or any small rural town where everyone knows everybody else. Especially if they are all white "rednecks". Of course I would have major culture shock, moreover so if I did not speak English. This is your case in point.
Thus I would choose a home in a major US city where many of these big cities have a Chinatown and a lot of Chinese people. So I can be with my fellow Chinese and where everything is pretty familiar and culture shock is only mild. It would be just way more comfortable and familiar. Same if I was Vietnamese (Westminister California), Korean (Korean town LA), Japanese (Honolulu Hawaii (50% are Japanese) or Japan Town LA), etc.
With your teaching career in high demand, it would be easy for you to relocate and find another job in a big city where there are a lot of white people that speak English and a lot of USA shops and restaurants.
I did not want to sound bias or prejudice for this post, I'm sorry if I offended anyone.
As for your girl problem, I do think she was hitting on you and she felt that you were not interested ""Enough"" in her, so she decided not to pursue you any further. I think her objective was to hook you good, like make you fall "head over heals" for her, so that you would move back with her to Beijing or Tianjin to give her security. And ultimately marry and take her back to the USA for a greencard.
World Guy Sh
12-04-07, 00:39
May seem a slightly naive question here (I have been in China over a year) but is kissing in public something of a 'no, no'? Not full on DFK, just a quick hello/goodbye peck?
I went on a 'kind of' date last week with a girl, quite traditional but also pretty out going (hey, she approached me with her number the first time we met). Nice evening if perhaps a little odd (it was my first 'date' in years - OK I kind of like this girl, not just sex). When we went to go our seperate ways, as I would with any female friend, I gave her a peck on the cheek (despite a chatty evening it wasn't going to be anythig else). She looked slightly shocked or surprised that I had done this.
We're still in contact and going out again has been suggested (where ever that may lead) but did not expect her to react to such. Now I realise, I hardly see any Chinese couples getting it on in public - hardly any hold hands although a freebie I had a few months back was quite happy to walk around arm in arm. Thoughts?
WGS
Meanwhile we can share techniques to get more freebies and also to bail-out.
I really need bail-out techniques. Some freebies are so sticky that they will pay their own airfare to fly with me.
They are probably sticky because they want to get paid before you disappear !
Rabbus - Just to throw in my two cents, my guess is that the "lights out" girl was sizing you up as husband material. The "goodbye" came after her mom told her no way (as Santa suggested).
This is different from a girl being horny and wanting to jump your bones. The thought may have never crossed her mind. In fact, some of these girls think they shouldn't have sex until they get married. I try to avoid those.
I think your post is appropriate for this thread. Good luck.
May seem a slightly naive question here (I have been in China over a year) but is kissing in public something of a 'no, no'? Not full on DFK, just a quick hello/goodbye peck?
I went on a 'kind of' date last week with a girl, quite traditional but also pretty out going (hey, she approached me with her number the first time we met). Nice evening if perhaps a little odd (it was my first 'date' in years - OK I kind of like this girl, not just sex). When we went to go our seperate ways, as I would with any female friend, I gave her a peck on the cheek (despite a chatty evening it wasn't going to be anythig else). She looked slightly shocked or surprised that I had done this.
We're still in contact and going out again has been suggested (where ever that may lead) but did not expect her to react to such. Now I realise, I hardly see any Chinese couples getting it on in public - hardly any hold hands although a freebie I had a few months back was quite happy to walk around arm in arm. Thoughts?
WGSGenerally speaking Chinese culture is much more conservative than Western cultures regarding public displays of affection. There is some variation depending on the neighborhood and location, of course. The big cities where you and your partner can enjoy some anonymity in the crowd, you may find more tolerance. In smaller cities and in neighborhoods this can be a huge taboo however. But after dark most cities have some parks where lover's congregate and go at it under cover of darkness.
Ace Gallant
12-04-07, 14:25
May seem a slightly naive question here (I have been in China over a year) but is kissing in public something of a 'no, no'? Not full on DFK, just a quick hello/goodbye peck?
I went on a 'kind of' date last week with a girl, quite traditional but also pretty out going (hey, she approached me with her number the first time we met). Nice evening if perhaps a little odd (it was my first 'date' in years - OK I kind of like this girl, not just sex). When we went to go our seperate ways, as I would with any female friend, I gave her a peck on the cheek (despite a chatty evening it wasn't going to be anythig else). She looked slightly shocked or surprised that I had done this.
We're still in contact and going out again has been suggested (where ever that may lead) but did not expect her to react to such. Now I realise, I hardly see any Chinese couples getting it on in public - hardly any hold hands although a freebie I had a few months back was quite happy to walk around arm in arm. Thoughts?
WGSIt is not in the culture of the Chinese in China to kiss goodbye or any peck on the cheek. But it is getting common in the bigger cities.
Here is an indication: If she seems surprise, it also means that she has not done it before and is still very un-exposed to westerner culture. This is an up for you.
Enjoy!
AG
Dan,
You hit the spot man! i totally agree with you. Working in a big city is much better than being in a smaller one. Pay is better and it's easier to adjust to.
If it were me, i'd pick Shenzhen to work. It's close to the action, it's close to HK for those moments where you feel that you need a dose of HK's more western venues. In addition, you can trek around to Guangzhou for some great food. Dongguan for all the action packed weekends to spend at.
I think after all this talk, i'm going to consider changing my career path so i can live in China full time =)
China is irresistible. Enjoy it while it lasts boys, because in time, all of this mongering will slowly diminish like Taiwan, Hong Kong and all these other places. Girls are willing to do all this sex work cause they are still dirt poor. You wait a few years from now, you'll need to go further inside China to enjoy any more good fun. That means....a long plane ride to China, then another long plane ride to somewhere deeper inside China to get any action in the later future.
Loosely quoted from the movie Little Miss Sunshine:" Son, if I were your age, all i'd do is fuck, fuck and fuck some more until i couldn't fuck anymore. Then i'd rest and fuck some more. Enjoy it while you still can"
For example of this point: If I was born and raised in China and decided to live in the USA and travel there for the first time, I would want to select a desireable place to live where I will be the most comfortable. I would not pick a home in the outback country farm lands of Vermont or any small rural town where everyone knows everybody else. Especially if they are all white "rednecks". Of course I would have major culture shock, moreover so if I did not speak English. This is your case in point.
Thus I would choose a home in a major US city where many of these big cities have a Chinatown and a lot of Chinese people. So I can be with my fellow Chinese and where everything is pretty familiar and culture shock is only mild. It would be just way more comfortable and familiar. Same if I was Vietnamese (Westminister California), Korean (Korean town LA), Japanese (Honolulu Hawaii (50% are Japanese) or Japan Town LA), etc.
With your teaching career in high demand, it would be easy for you to relocate and find another job in a big city where there are a lot of white people that speak English and a lot of USA shops and restaurants.
I did not want to sound bias or prejudice for this post, I'm sorry if I offended anyone.
As for your girl problem, I do think she was hitting on you and she felt that you were not interested ""Enough"" in her, so she decided not to pursue you any further. I think her objective was to hook you good, like make you fall "head over heals" for her, so that you would move back with her to Beijing or Tianjin to give her security. And ultimately marry and take her back to the USA for a greencard.
Red Rock II
12-06-07, 04:46
China is irresistible. Enjoy it while it lasts boys, because in time, all of this mongering will slowly diminish like Taiwan, Hong Kong and all these other places. Girls are willing to do all this sex work cause they are still dirt poor. You wait a few years from now, you'll need to go further inside China to enjoy any more good fun. That means....a long plane ride to China, then another long plane ride to somewhere deeper inside China to get any action in the later future.
Loosely quoted from the movie Little Miss Sunshine:" Son, if I were your age, all i'd do is fuck, fuck and fuck some more until i couldn't fuck anymore. Then i'd rest and fuck some more. Enjoy it while you still can"
I completely agree! China is not going to remain as a men's heaven for ever.
Old Mean Dog
12-08-07, 04:26
CPE?DAN,
NO CP girl wants your money and your tip and then a green card. Dan, you do ok in CP without speaking any chinese but I still think you should give Manila a try and let yourself be the judge. Also you should give other city in China a try instead of spend all your time in CP.
Fast eddie 48
Actually, I am not so well traveled in China either, but I did live and monger in Suzhou and I have taken trips here and there.
Due to my current profession, I have had the opportunity to meet hundreds of Chinese girls and talk to many Filipinas as well, I think my observations, were spot on.
-CPE
Moved to the Chinese Women and Advice Section.
Dan Hawaii
12-08-07, 10:01
Dan,
You hit the spot man! i totally agree with you. Working in a big city is much better than being in a smaller one. Pay is better and it's easier to adjust to.
If it were me, i'd pick Shenzhen to work. It's close to the action, it's close to HK for those moments where you feel that you need a dose of HK's more western venues. In addition, you can trek around to Guangzhou for some great food. Dongguan for all the action packed weekends to spend at.
I think after all this talk, i'm going to consider changing my career path so i can live in China full time =)
China is irresistible. Enjoy it while it lasts boys, because in time, all of this mongering will slowly diminish like Taiwan, Hong Kong and all these other places. Girls are willing to do all this sex work cause they are still dirt poor. You wait a few years from now, you'll need to go further inside China to enjoy any more good fun. That means....a long plane ride to China, then another long plane ride to somewhere deeper inside China to get any action in the later future.
Loosely quoted from the movie Little Miss Sunshine:" Son, if I were your age, all i'd do is fuck, fuck and fuck some more until i couldn't fuck anymore. Then i'd rest and fuck some more. Enjoy it while you still can"
I think I'll prefer to live in ChangPing, close to all the action you described (Macau, HK, GZ, SZ, ZhuHai, etc...) but more importantly, why be close, when you can live in the most important action......, BBS and KTV:).
Carnesseur
12-08-07, 22:49
May seem a slightly naive question here (I have been in China over a year) but is kissing in public something of a 'no, no'? Not full on DFK, just a quick hello/goodbye peck?
I went on a 'kind of' date last week with a girl, quite traditional but also pretty out going (hey, she approached me with her number the first time we met). Nice evening if perhaps a little odd (it was my first 'date' in years - OK I kind of like this girl, not just sex). When we went to go our seperate ways, as I would with any female friend, I gave her a peck on the cheek (despite a chatty evening it wasn't going to be anythig else). She looked slightly shocked or surprised that I had done this.
We're still in contact and going out again has been suggested (where ever that may lead) but did not expect her to react to such. Now I realise, I hardly see any Chinese couples getting it on in public - hardly any hold hands although a freebie I had a few months back was quite happy to walk around arm in arm. Thoughts?
WGSI spend time with the same girl every time I come to SH. She's my "girlfriend"--whom I pay, of course. Anyway, I'm not by nature a big PDA-type. But she is literally all over me whenever we go out. We DFK walking down Huai Hai road at dinner time. We make out on a park bench in Fuxing Park with people walking by. Kissing at the table in a restaurant is a nightly occurence. She is very affectionate.
Now this girl is a KTV girl and she's not traditional by any means. But from other things she's said, I know she cares about what the Shanghainese think of her. She doesn't want to lose face with them. But no one has ever said anything to her or me when we do this. I've never noticed any rude stares. Maybe its just accepted in SH?
WGS it sounds to me like your girl is either inexperienced or a prude. Of course, maybe mine is just a ****.
OldAsiaHand
12-09-07, 07:00
WGS it sounds to me like your girl is either inexperienced or a prude. Of course, maybe mine is just a ****.
WGS,
Affection in public among traditional Chinese girls is still pretty much taboo. Holding hands or walking arm in arm is OK. You do see a few young Chinese couples getting a little closer, but DFK or more is still a no no for most "normal" girls. "Working girls" can be an exception, but even some of them still have traditional values.
Just my POV.
OAH
World Guy Sh
12-09-07, 11:58
OAH, Carnesseur, AG et al
Cheers for the response. Thought as much.
Beyond that? The 'relationship' may be rapidly going "off topic" for this forum!
Really should stick to P4P.
WGS
Old Mean Dog
12-09-07, 12:10
WGS it sounds to me like your girl is either inexperienced or a prude. Of course, maybe mine is just a ****.
Hah, umm nothing personal, but from my limited experience in China, yours would be considered the latter. The only ones I see getting real close and cuddley are the High School kids, but even they don't suck face all over town.
Well at least your making a lasting impression on the locals...
-CPE
Neuromancer
12-09-07, 16:22
I spend time with the same girl every time I come to SH. She's my "girlfriend"--whom I pay, of course. Anyway, I'm not by nature a big PDA-type. But she is literally all over me whenever we go out. We DFK walking down Huai Hai road at dinner time. We make out on a park bench in Fuxing Park with people walking by. Kissing at the table in a restaurant is a nightly occurence. She is very affectionate.
Now this girl is a KTV girl and she's not traditional by any means. But from other things she's said, I know she cares about what the Shanghainese think of her. She doesn't want to lose face with them. But no one has ever said anything to her or me when we do this. I've never noticed any rude stares. Maybe its just accepted in SH?
WGS it sounds to me like your girl is either inexperienced or a prude. Of course, maybe mine is just a ****.Ummm. I've lived in the US for some 30 odd years, and I don't think that PDA is very common there either. C'mon, who, anywhere around the world, likes to see another couple mackin in front of them. In the US, they'd usually use the phrase "get a room! "
If some geeky Japanese dude was DFK'ing some cheerleader type in the middle of a busy area. You can only imagine what people are thinking (hooker).
My two cents.
i spend time with the same girl every time i come to sh. she's my "girlfriend"--whom i pay, of course. anyway, i'm not by nature a big pda-type. but she is literally all over me whenever we go out. we dfk walking down huai hai road at dinner time. we make out on a park bench in fuxing park with people walking by. kissing at the table in a restaurant is a nightly occurence. she is very affectionate.
now this girl is a ktv girl and she's not traditional by any means. but from other things she's said, i know she cares about what the shanghainese think of her. she doesn't want to lose face with them. but no one has ever said anything to her or me when we do this. i've never noticed any rude stares. maybe its just accepted in sh?
wgs it sounds to me like your girl is either inexperienced or a prude. of course, maybe mine is just a ****.sounds like she's marking her territory just like a dog [CodeWord133] (http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord133) on a tree.
Carnesseur
12-09-07, 23:00
Ummm. I've lived in the US for some 30 odd years, and I don't think that PDA is very common there either. C'mon, who, anywhere around the world, likes to see another couple mackin in front of them. In the US, they'd usually use the phrase "get a room! "
If some geeky Japanese dude was DFK'ing some cheerleader type in the middle of a busy area. You can only imagine what people are thinking (hooker).
My two cents.I'm one of those guys who would say "get a room." So I see where you're coming from.
I think I gave the wrong impression. Sorry for that. We are not "making out" in the restaurant or on the street. She will just plant a kiss on me for about 5 seconds and then we move on. She also likes to bite me on the lip sometimes. I never know which is coming.
The park thing was at night (9pm) and walking through we saw other couples doing similar stuff. We actually came across some pretty intense activity, although everyone was fully clothed.
My point was that I don't really think *everyone* in SH is all that uptight about lite kissing in public as described by WGS. But my experience is with a WG and his is with a more traditional girl. From the spectator side, I do care about how I appear to the locals and try not to offend. But no one really seems to be that offended by limited kissing and holding hands in public in the part of SH that I frequent. Or am I just blissfully ignorant?
Carnesseur
12-09-07, 23:04
sounds like she's marking her territory just like a dog [CodeWord133] (http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord133) on a tree.i have certainly had the wood to support this theory!
G Funk Era
12-11-07, 06:30
I've been a member for about a week and even though I live in the US, I have almost 20 messages, almost all from beautiful women in China. The ones in US don't reply to my winks but I get all kinds of unsolicited messages from women in Shanghai, Guangdoung, Guizhou, etc.
Something about this seems too good to be true. Are there many scammers on this site? There were a couple from Africa that seem like obvious fakes.
Several of the Chinese women sent links to translation sites (SeekingLoveClub.com, FriendsAllEarth.com, InterLoveMeeting.com). Are these ladies real or are these sites using fake profiles to sell memberships?
Thanks,
G Funk Era
I've been a member for about a week and even though I live in the US, I have almost 20 messages, almost all from beautiful women in China. The ones in US don't reply to my winks but I get all kinds of unsolicited messages from women in Shanghai, Guangdoung, Guizhou, etc.
Something about this seems too good to be true. Are there many scammers on this site? There were a couple from Africa that seem like obvious fakes.
Several of the Chinese women sent links to translation sites (SeekingLoveClub.com, FriendsAllEarth.com, InterLoveMeeting.com). Are these ladies real or are these sites using fake profiles to sell memberships?
Thanks,
G Funk Era
I was on AFF for one year and met one USA woman. When I decided to search China , I got 100 replies a day. I am sure you know what money and a green card is. 90% of them are hookers or gold diggers looking for another sucker , not to mention those designer pictures , that make them look beautiful , sometimes 10 to 20 years younger or maybe even a man at the other end of the computer that you talk to.
Read the forum and go over there for yourself and don't make the same mistake that so many do. Its fun over there , but we all need to use our head. I doubt if you look like Tom Cruz , but trust me , you have the best looking wallet in the world when it comes to many Chinese women.
Here is one that I got from AFF today , anyone want her? go for it.
************************************************
FriendsAllEarth.Com/en/lang19171about_yi-xuan-78.html
Hello, I yixuan hope that I received a letter from you will not be surprised. because I have never been a woman grasping the opportunity, I look forward to deal with the things I even voluntarily. I want to tell you become friends! Friends! If you are willing to, I think we have a romantic love. Want to let you know about my point, and I live in Shenyang, China, is a small Repertory Theater actors, the usual rehearsal programs, Most of the time I spent in the Internet, as I filled out the same way : "I am an American woman. I also hope to be a cutting-edge, love, I choose the network. " I always believe that to have a true feeling in the network, in a corner of the earth waiting for me, I have been looking at. Until today met you, I feel sure, other such as age, build, origin, etc. I do not care about. Dear, do you believe that feeling? Perhaps you believe in the future of a day, I will be your other half? You will accept me? Darling, if our future together, I think we will get along very well, I was avant-garde, I also enabled me to the western culture has been understanding. I like the information is about the same : "I am looking for a man full of passion, will bring me endless stimulus and passion," I know that you open in thinking, and this is what I want. Said passion, love, I feel no more than bring sexual passion in the past. Do you like sex? You like to put a woman's genitals are enjoying the magnification of this wonderful moment? If we are together, I will do for you all things, such as oral sex, I will relay your penis into my mouth, a little bit slowly suck, from shallow to deep, from slow to fast, my dear, I want to bring you happiness, you understand me? I hope you will not think I was a bad woman. Dear, do you like my kind of woman? I can only speak from your appearance to infer your preferences, I do not know whether or not suitable for you, When I very sincerely want to tell you become friends, or a deeper relationship. No secret to say that you see a photo of that moment on I loved you! You will accept me? Do you want to know more of my stuff? Wrote to me alright? I tell you all around, you live, your preferences, your country, and so on. You can ask me anything you want to know, no! Also, my dear, I do not know if you understand it or not Chinese, so understand if that would be best, We can no obstacles to the exchange, because basically I was not English. But also do not know him, now I know some friends web site is to provide translation services. This is one in which the website is registered
FriendsAllEarth.Com/en/lang19171about_yi-xuan-78.html
if you do not speak Chinese, this came to me alright? Then we Naikanmengbai each other a letter, the better the communication, I really want to become your friends, like and you have a good .
***************************************************
I told the 27 year old hottie in a polite way to go fuck herself because she forgot to tell me that she will swallow.
Take care and be safe
tile man
PS , you can score on AFF but you need to avoid the scams.
I've been a member for about a week and even though I live in the US, I have almost 20 messages, almost all from beautiful women in China. The ones in US don't reply to my winks but I get all kinds of unsolicited messages from women in Shanghai, Guangdoung, Guizhou, etc.
Something about this seems too good to be true. Are there many scammers on this site? There were a couple from Africa that seem like obvious fakes.
Several of the Chinese women sent links to translation sites (SeekingLoveClub.com, FriendsAllEarth.com, InterLoveMeeting.com). Are these ladies real or are these sites using fake profiles to sell memberships?
Thanks,
G Funk Era
Just to let you know that a lot of pictures on some of the dating sites are fake. They are of minor TV stars, singers and models. They put up pictures of beautiful girls so you would pay to join. After you join and find out all the girls that you are interested are no available, by then it is too late, they already have your money.
Just think, who will join if they don't find any women that they are interested? Just be careful, hate for you to fly to China and not meet the girl of your dream. On the other hand, China is a lot of fun.
Dan Hawaii
12-13-07, 10:13
I told the 27 year old hottie in a polite way to go fuck herself because she forgot to tell me that she will swallow.
Take care and be safe
tile man
PS , you can score on AFF but you need to avoid the scams.
That's funny Tileman. LOL.
OldAsiaHand
12-20-07, 04:26
I am curious about fellow mongers' experience with BBBJ. I have found that many P4P girls tend to give you as short a period of time as they can get away with. I've had many girls tell me, "You are hard already".
Is the purpose of BBBJ just to get you hard? Is this acceptable to the majority of punters?
OAH
Old Mean Dog
12-20-07, 04:47
I am curious about fellow mongers' experience with BBBJ. I have found that many P4P girls tend to give you as short a period of time as they can get away with. I've had many girls tell me, "You are hard already".
Is the purpose of BBBJ just to get you hard? Is this acceptable to the majority of punters?
OAH
I think yes. Seems most of the time, oral sex is only given to get you hard(er) then they want to proceed to intercourse. It is a true delight to find a girl that does BBBJCIM and even hard(er) to find one with real skills.
-CPE
SE Asia Joe
12-20-07, 04:50
I am curious about fellow mongers' experience with BBBJ. I have found that many P4P girls tend to give you as short a period of time as they can get away with. I've had many girls tell me, "You are hard already".
Is the purpose of BBBJ just to get you hard? Is this acceptable to the majority of punters?
OAH
Actually I LOOOOOVE BBBJ - and ALWAYS tell the gal - no matter how bad or good - that she's really making me feel ever so good... the best in a long time... how did you learn to do it so good.. My god it feels good.
Positive encouragement, Lavish praise - always gets to them - Professional Pride and making her feel as if she's really the best blower in town. Usually they would then even try everything in their book of tricks to show you how reallllly good they are at blowing - and even those that they've only seen in Porn Flicks i.e. proceed to AR, humming whilst blowing you, flicking your crown with their tongue - or even ridiculous things like them gagging themselves as they try deep throating you.
And even after their jaws just cain't take it anymore and you let them rest a bit - they would still go down and give you some more if you tell 'em that you practically cannot live without her going down on you again.... jsut for a little while... just for memory.... and this is the time that you could even convince them to allow you to take pictures... or even videos...just for MY memory... for such a memorable occasion.
Hey - they scam us all the time - so all's fair and just in whoring. Right?
And before anybody here start flaming me - think about it properly - this scam "hardly" hurts anybody (perhaps my raw pecker - that's all) as she goes away from the experience with her Professional ego stroked - and you pay her exactly what you're suppossed to. So not really scamming her - Agree?
SE Asia Joe
Old Mean Dog
12-20-07, 04:56
I've been a member for about a week and even though I live in the US, I have almost 20 messages, almost all from beautiful women in China. The ones in US don't reply to my winks but I get all kinds of unsolicited messages from women in Shanghai, Guangdoung, Guizhou, etc.
Yes, there are many scammers on the internet that don't mind playing with someones heart to make a buck. On the other hand there are those men who prey on "good" girls that are sincerely looking for love and marriage.
-CPE
SE Asia Joe
12-20-07, 09:06
Gotta share this with you guys. Just been with this friend of mine who's an old timer and real player from the word get-go. He has offered me 2 gems:
1. A real player is not determined by how many good ones he gets but how may good ones he gets rid of.
2. A real player will always go after the best available - these are easier to get rid of. Its the ugly ones who will hound you!
SE Asia Joe
Actually I LOOOOOVE BBBJ - and ALWAYS tell the gal - no matter how bad or good - that she's really making me feel ever so good... the best in a long time... how did you learn to do it so good.. My god it feels good.
Positive encouragement, Lavish praise - always gets to them - Professional Pride and making her feel as if she's really the best blower in town.
So not really scamming her - Agree?
SE Asia Joe
Excellent post Joe and I totally agree. A very useful tip.
I have also noticed when I tell the gal, "wow, juede hen hao, hao shufu..." her performance improves and lasts longer.
Positive encouragement (positive reinforcement) always works with employees. I now need to work on my positive vocabulary for blow job performance.
There is one small downside. When you praise the girl for her excellent work, she is more likely to bug you for extra cash for a job well done.
Those who can read Chinese can try http://love.qq.com/
I presume that many there there some real. Many are simple too poor or cheesy to be stolen. Some are stolen though. You can filter by location and age. Those who can not read Chinese have no a reason to try it. It's by far not as difficult as people think.
A good helping tool is "wakan", a mouse-over translator for Xp. You point your mouse over a character and a translation will pop-up.
Some girls have a homepage or blog, those they are easier to contact. To contact them in English is OK. Most will respond. And if not, there are 10000'...
Real?
http://love.qq.com/cgi-bin/userinfo?userid=444430724
I heard chinese men do not like dining at the Y.
Is this true?
Any reports of gals who are starved for some tongue loving?
I heard chinese men do not like dining at the Y.
Is this true?
Any reports of gals who are starved for some tongue loving?
Most Chinese women beleive that a man will lose face if a man's head goes below her pussy , but someone must have taught her this culture. They call it culture , I call it a free ride for men (both chinese and laowei).
We get BJ's but the Chinese woman does not seem to think that they deserve the same pleasure. I am not talking about the WG who just had 10 men before you. I am talking the girlfreind type. I would not want oral with the WG and blow 10 men by proxy while I eat her.
I did have sex many times with my 26 year old translator , she can cum 3 to 4 times in the first 2 minutes of intercourse , she also can give the best BJ and can match or surpass any USA woman in the BJ department.
When a man gets a BJ that good , I felt obligated to give the same, but I enjoy it too. I tried to go down on her twice and she was flat and very nervous. I asked her why. She said , a man should not do that to a woman. I told her she just did not know what she was missing, end of story.
I have read in some Chinese Beijing sexual studies , that the younger generation is doing more experimenting with both doing oral. I think the Chinese men on ISG can let us know if this is an old culture thing or not.
Take care and be safe
tile man
BossLove72
12-27-07, 06:28
Her words: "Chinese men don't do that - and if they do it, they do it wrong."
Thank you, China. I love it here.I agree totally! Chinese women are very shy when you first start, if they have had a laowai before, they aren't. Once you get started, they can't get enough. I find it rather funny through, since many times, I hear Chinese women refer to their pussies as their "Hole". So I hear a woman say to me, "Oh please lick my hole!" I must control my laughter.
They also refer to dicks as "things", so I had a girl say to me, "I can I see your thing?" I had no clue what she was talking about and to ask her even more caused even much more embarrassment to her. After a while, this young pretty thing just grabbed my pants and unzipped me. That's how I found out what my thing meant to her.
DATY here is very cool, but be warned, Chinese girls just can't get enough of it.
Happy Holidays and Great Dining!
I heard chinese men do not like dining at the Y.
Is this true?
Any reports of gals who are starved for some tongue loving?
Call me selfish or lazy, but I really enjoy them doing the BJ and sex. My experimentation is getting her upside down and sideways, but not for me to do more work!! :) Certainly this applies to WG, but for me, most other girls as well.
Had to hold freebie down to achieve daty at first.
Little thing but strong. Maybe she caved. Whoknows?
Then had to keep holding her down to prevent her bouncing of the ceiling.
Acted stunned in a thankful way.
Not a practice from her universe it would seem.
Meiguoguizi
12-31-07, 13:12
I'm of the opinion that whenever possible the working girl should receive all or the largest possible percentage of the payments made for her services.
I believe that it is both fair and in our own interest to act to make sure that she gets the benefit of her labors, and that we do not collaborate with 'managers' that abuse their workers, financially or otherwise.
All too often I've observed KTVs Saunas and BBS keeping ridiculous percentages of the payments being made. Yes, there are overhead and operating costs for any business. But my feeling is that providers are often victims of their 'managers'. I know for a fact that even 'tips' given to the girl are often taken by management and that girls are forbidden to disclose the process.
So I routinely ask for direct contact numbers and protect the privacy of the girl supplying hers. Many, if not most, are grateful for the opportunity to be paid directly, 'off the books'.
Usually the best service, and the most GFE experiences are obtained when the girl is receiving 'full payment' and trusts you to protect the privacy of her freelance activity.
Dan Hawaii
12-31-07, 21:49
I'm of the opinion that whenever possible the working girl should receive all or the largest possible percentage of the payments made for her services.
I believe that it is both fair and in our own interest to act to make sure that she gets the benefit of her labors, and that we do not collaborate with 'managers' that abuse their workers, financially or otherwise.
All too often I've observed KTVs Saunas and BBS keeping ridiculous percentages of the payments being made. Yes, there are overhead and operating costs for any business. But my feeling is that providers are often victims of their 'managers'. I know for a fact that even 'tips' given to the girl are often taken by management and that girls are forbidden to disclose the process.
So I routinely ask for direct contact numbers and protect the privacy of the girl supplying hers. Many, if not most, are grateful for the opportunity to be paid directly, 'off the books'.
Usually the best service, and the most GFE experiences are obtained when the girl is receiving 'full payment' and trusts you to protect the privacy of her freelance activity.
That's a good idea if it were legal in China, and it is not. I think the payoffs to the bosses and mommies serves a purpose. The bosses inturn got to pay the high officials to "look the other way". And the mommies do recruit and teach the girls the industry. In addition, they nurture and help the girls to become successful. And they also discipline the girls if they are out of line. So, it may seem that it is unfair, but this is the oldest industry and most thriving industry in the world. So it must work for one reason or another.
Think of it, without the bosses and mommies, will there be any BBSs? Will there be any structure? I think they do get the largest percentage at Yalan and Hui Mei BBSs:
100 to the girl
100@yalan - 50@hui mei..... split between bosses, mommies, LE, and runners.
I'm pretty sure at KTV's they get the higher percentage as well.
I agree with you and hope the girls get paid fairly.
Nobody Doe
01-01-08, 04:55
I also agree with both of you that working girls deserve to get paid by the fair value.
The purpose of bosses / mamasans to discipline the girls is important. As some bros here mentioned about security, girls with bosses and mamasans usually do not act out of line, such as stealing, as she know you will look for their bosses / mamasans if she do so. Some KTV mamasans (if you know them well) will even return you the stolen money amount on the behave of the girls, then the mamasans will take discipline actions, not only ask the girls to return her the money.
Another thing is if you are a kind of new customer, working girls may not want to have direct business with you by taking the risks of being caught by bosses / mamasans. You may wish to have direct business would make you pay less (and probably also make girls receive more), but the risks are all at the girls side.
That's a good idea if it were legal in China, and it is not. I think the payoffs to the bosses and mommies serves a purpose. The bosses inturn got to pay the high officials to "look the other way". And the mommies do recruit and teach the girls the industry. In addition, they nurture and help the girls to become successful. And they also discipline the girls if they are out of line. So, it may seem that it is unfair, but this is the oldest industry and most thriving industry in the world. So it must work for one reason or another.
Think of it, without the bosses and mommies, will there be any BBSs? Will there be any structure? I think they do get the largest percentage at Yalan and Hui Mei BBSs:
100 to the girl
100@yalan - 50@hui mei..... split between bosses, mommies, LE, and runners.
I'm pretty sure at KTV's they get the higher percentage as well.
I agree with you and hope the girls get paid fairly.
Positive encouragement (positive reinforcement) always works with employees. I now need to work on my positive vocabulary for blow job performance.
There is one small downside. When you praise the girl for her excellent work, she is more likely to bug you for extra cash for a job well done.True. True. I tell her I only tip the young and the beautiful.
SE Asia Joe
01-02-08, 04:54
That's a good idea if it were legal in China, and it is not. I think the payoffs to the bosses and mommies serves a purpose. The bosses inturn got to pay the high officials to "look the other way". And the mommies do recruit and teach the girls the industry. In addition, they nurture and help the girls to become successful. And they also discipline the girls if they are out of line. So, it may seem that it is unfair, but this is the oldest industry and most thriving industry in the world. So it must work for one reason or another.
.
A Mommie I didn't really know at Baby's convinced me to do her new gal - really young, really white skin and really new. Got her back and had the usual preliminaries done lousily, expecting a nice tight hole to make up for it. TIGHT??!! Omigawd, she was not only the tightest I'd done in a Loooooon time, but also the driest! And of course "tong tong Tong Tong" prompting me to ask how many she'd done today? "First one". So the next question howabout yesterday? Also only 1 - her first one since she came to the town" was the reply - and then told me that her "hole's" been hurting since. Well.... I just could not go on seeing her quite innocent face just tolerating it all. Got off, told her to stay put, jumped in my pants and left the room - even leaving my room keys (which kept the lights and the TV on) and telling her to open the door when I knock in a while. Zoom off to the 7-11 downstairs, got a Durex lubricant (damn - no KY) and raced back up. I then instructed her on lubricant usage and the NEED for her to lube up before doing the deed (as she's just so tight) if she's going to keep her tool of the trade in any shape to do her business! I was rewarded with a VERY nice session, her going along with all the things I Love doing.....
She was so new she didn't even have her own telephone and borrowed my phone to call her mommie - which was when I decided to tell her Mommy off for NOT having taught her girl some of the more important things that a good Mommy should teach - like how to preserve her parts in good service! After all, what good is a busted up pussy to the girl AND to her?! Hey its not only time that's money - but also usable parts!
Anyway - next time you guys get the old "Tong Tong Tong" thing - you know what to do.... for the good of the industry...for the good ole apple pie and motherhoood...for all the girls you've loved before...
SE Asia Joe
Ragnarok42
01-02-08, 14:15
[QUOTE=SE Asia JoeAnyway - next time you guys get the old "Tong Tong Tong" thing - you know what to do.... for the good of the industry...for the good ole apple pie and motherhoood...for all the girls you've loved before...
SE Asia Joe[/QUOTE]
Great advice SE, I usually am nice and supportive to the girls and it pays off in them being relaxed and we both enjoy our time together more. I have a habit of trying to get the girl as aroused as she will let get her before we do anything. DATY, dirty talking, whatever they are into.
Sometimes by the end of it the girls are so aroused they will let me do ANYTHING with them. So treat them as lovers and you will be rewarded with great service 90% of the time.
OldAsiaHand
01-03-08, 02:23
Meiguoguizi,
I often try to cut out the middle man when the opportunity presents itself. And, you are correct, most girls are pleased to do so.
On the other hand, some 'managers' are clever enough to establish safeguards to prevent this. The penalties for violation can be extreme. They will even use an unknown friend to try and set-up their girls. Therefore, it is important to consider whether the girl is in any danger or not.
It is difficult to find out truly whether the girls are being treated fairly financially. Many will refuse to discuss this subject or lie about it at the instructions of their 'keepers' or to make you feel guilty so you will tip them.
Another alternative is to negotiate a better deal with the 'managers' and give the savings to the girl as a tip. There is often room to bargain on the "house fee" in BBS and Saunas.
All that said, I do believe that the "managers" are entitled to make some money for the service they provide. How would we find so many girls otherwise?
Just my POV.
OAH
I'm of the opinion that whenever possible the working girl should receive all or the largest possible percentage of the payments made for her services.
I believe that it is both fair and in our own interest to act to make sure that she gets the benefit of her labors, and that we do not collaborate with 'managers' that abuse their workers, financially or otherwise.
All too often I've observed KTVs Saunas and BBS keeping ridiculous percentages of the payments being made. Yes, there are overhead and operating costs for any business. But my feeling is that providers are often victims of their 'managers'. I know for a fact that even 'tips' given to the girl are often taken by management and that girls are forbidden to disclose the process.
So I routinely ask for direct contact numbers and protect the privacy of the girl supplying hers. Many, if not most, are grateful for the opportunity to be paid directly, 'off the books'.
Usually the best service, and the most GFE experiences are obtained when the girl is receiving 'full payment' and trusts you to protect the privacy of her freelance activity.
I have read articles and reports that describe girls that have been “sold” or tricked into working for saunas and BBS to provide sexual services. The “middle man” keeps them captive in one form or another until they work off their “debt”. While 75% of the girls I have been with were independent providers, the remaining girls were from a sauna or KTV. I do not think I have ever had an experience in China where I felt the girl was under duress, but I am sure the girl would be coached not to say anything. I think the only time I have ever dealt with a “middle man” was in the pursuit of Russian girls. It is my understanding that the “agent” puts up the travel money for them to come to China, and the girl has to give him/her a large chunk of her take until this debt is repaid. While they are somewhat captive, I think the girl know what she is getting into when she signs up to come to China.
I once heard a story several years ago from a Mongolian girl who was recruited to work in a bar in Tokyo as a “hostess”. Upon arrival the boss took her passport and made her do more than hostess, but she was there for only a few months before she returned to Beijing. As I recall she even told me she was going to go back again, so I guess it must not have been that bad. Of course, she was already in the business, and some girl from small-town China or Mongolia probably would not be as savvy and could be tricked into some type of bad situation. I wonder how common such situations are in China. If it is common then I don't want to work with any middle man who is making money off girls he is forcing into the business.
In the same articles it claims that drug use is rampant in the sex industry. I must admit I have never seen a girl in China using drugs. This includes the Chinese, Russians, and Mongolian girls I have encountered. Is it truly a problem in China as well, or am I just blind to it?
Sammy
SE Asia Joe
01-03-08, 07:44
I
In the same articles it claims that drug use is rampant in the sex industry. I must admit I have never seen a girl in China using drugs. This includes the Chinese, Russians, and Mongolian girls I have encountered. Is it truly a problem in China as well, or am I just blind to it?
Sammy
I didn't use to think that drugs were a big thing in China - but lately I've heard of more and more being used and even had the misfortune of taking a gal who I saw had needle marks. She at first denied it but then told me that she is indeed a drug addict and that quite a few of her sisters are also at it. (scared the shit out of me and requested that she only gave me a covered BJ - and even then, I was still quite wary!). I also heard from another gal that there were 2 fatal OD's at the night market in CP recently - thus the reason for the LE presence.
There is also a large contingent of young people from Hong Kong who regularly go to Shenzhen just for drugs (cheaper than HKG) and party with/influence the gals there to also partake. All in all I would say that the drug problem is expanding and spreading quite rapidly.
SE Asia Joe
Red Rock II
01-03-08, 09:31
I do not think I have ever had an experience in China where I felt the girl was under duress
It was a few years back that I had a WG in a sauna place. She was young and pretty. I found a few of scars on her wrist that were clearly left by a lighted cigarette. I asked her what happened. She said she did not want to talk about it. Last summer, It happened to me again. When I questioned, the reaction was the same. I told my local friends about the scars that I found on girl's wrists. They said, it could be done by themselves. They said when a girl had emotional problems, sometimes she physically abused herself so the physical pain could temporarily release her from the pain caused by an emotional trauma. Well, I wasn't really convinced by such explaination.
Old Mean Dog
01-03-08, 09:34
And the mommies do recruit and teach the girls the industry. In addition, they nurture and help the girls to become successful. And they also discipline the girls if they are out of line. So, it may seem that it is unfair, but this is the oldest industry and most thriving industry in the world. So it must work for one reason or another.
Gotta disagree, most all the mommies I know don't teach them jack shit nor really get that tough with them. I mean come on, Jojo just turned 20 and her sister is 22, do you think they really put the smack-down on the girls or teach them how to give blowjobs or bang a guy, when they both are less experienced then their girls.
-CPE
SE Asia Joe
01-03-08, 09:45
It was a few years back that I had a WG in a sauna place. She was young and pretty. I found a few of scars on her wrist that were clearly left by a lighted cigarette. I asked her what happened. She said she did not want to talk about it. Last summer, It happened to me again. When I questioned, the reaction was the same. I told my local friends about the scars that I found on girl's wrists. They said, it could be done by themselves. They said when a girl had emotional problems, sometimes she physically abused herself so the physical pain could temporarily release her from the pain caused by an emotional trauma. Well, I wasn't really convinced by such explaination.
In the majority of cases, these cigarette burns are self inflicted. You also have these girls "cutting" themselves with razor blades.
Wikipedia has this on self inflicted injuries
//..Self-injury (SI) or self-harm (SH) is deliberate injury inflicted by a person upon his or her own body without suicidal intent. Some scholars use more technical definitions related to specific aspects of this behavior. These acts may be aimed at relieving otherwise unbearable emotions, sensations of unreality and numbness. It is listed in the DSM-IV-TR as a symptom of borderline personality disorder and is sometimes associated with mental illness, a history of trauma and abuse, eating disorders, or mental traits such as low self-esteem or perfectionism. There is a positive statistical correlation between self-injury and emotional abuse.[1][2] Non-fatal self-harm is common in young people worldwide [3] and due this prevailance the term self-harm is increasingly used to denote any non-fatal acts of deliberate self-harm, irrespective of the intention. [4]
It was a few years back that I had a WG in a sauna place. She was young and pretty. I found a few of scars on her wrist that were clearly left by a lighted cigarette. I asked her what happened. She said she did not want to talk about it. Last summer, It happened to me again. When I questioned, the reaction was the same. I told my local friends about the scars that I found on girl's wrists. They said, it could be done by themselves. They said when a girl had emotional problems, sometimes she physically abused herself so the physical pain could temporarily release her from the pain caused by an emotional trauma. Well, I wasn't really convinced by such explanation.
I recently read a book about the Thailand bar scene called "Private Dancer" by Stephen Leather. It is supposedly based on the real experiences of the author and his friends while they lived in Bangkok. The Thai scene is quite different from the Chinese scene, but I found the book to be very interesting. One of the main characters in the book is a bar girl, and on several occasions she cuts herself when she is depressed. This also seems to be common in teenage girls in the United States. Often the purpose is to draw attention to themselves.
I guess a working girl in China could burn herself with a cigarette in the same manor, but it could just as easily have been some sort of punishment. Either situation is not pretty. The fact that neither one of the girls wanted to talk about it is interesting - they could have used the opportunity to make you feel sorry for her and give her a better tip.
I think its extremly commen to see girls and guys with cigi burns on their arms, most likely of these scars they are 99% chance self inflicted.
Gents and Fellow Mongers;
My I have been working with my PA for a few months and wondering if should or should not go forward with dipping my wink in the company ink. I have really been trying to avoid the situation at every turn of bend; but she is really persistant about this action. I even tell her I am going to the KTV's and so forth. She has seen me in action in suzie wongs; maggies and even came over to cook a few times at my place. I now I know this could cause jealously in rank and file; but she is so dam fine. About a 8-10 and I been.n- out China since 1998. She know I am single and I run my own company. One day she came over to my place for working offsite from the office a couple of times and just wearing mini skirts just like j-girls and I ask whats up and she replied, I know you like how those j-girls dress in Tokyo and HK. She offered to go down on me and I still refuse. Do you think this real or a set up? Or do I fuck her and can on with the at hand? I am very close to her and hell I am paying her to finsh her Grad school studies. When I am on travel with her not in China; she always ask I don't just get one room. Is is common for Executives to married their PA. When I ask this question of my Chinese Brothers; they stated it is common in China. Plus to add there is no office drama and my other staff does not care.
Peace,
Long Bro
Meiguoguizi
01-03-08, 14:02
anyone in our hobby for any length of time has observed bruises or burns or scrapes or inflammation or worse. and the less obvious non-physical damage is apparent if you are slightly more attentive than your little brother. marks like these are the result of 'management' intervention or 'client' behavior much more often than they are self-inflicted. and if they are self-inflicted, then they are a secondary result of abuse.
if your taste in lovemaking results in injury, i suspect that there's not much anyone can say to deter you.
but if you are a monger of some sensitivity, these injuries are additional reasons to ensure that your partner receives full generous payment and the opportunity to choose independently to accompany you without fear of reprisal from 'management' and their violent clientèle.
In china as I understand it is there is no slavery like what happens in other countries. The girls are not mistreated in any way . I have not seen any girls controlled by pimps or mamasans or yelled at or beaten. In general the girls are more like independant contractors and they will give their numbers to many mamasans. Once you get the number from the girl you are free to call her without the aid of the mamasan.
The injuries some have witnessed is more likely self inflicted. The girls are usually very lonely and have plenty of time on their hands. There is also some pressure on them to send home money. I have had many girls call me and stay in my apartment all day watching tv because they say they do not have Tv and have to share the apartment with other girls. If the girl has a daytime job they are usually much happier.
Gents and Fellow Mongers;
---cut---
should or should not go forward with dipping my wink in the company ink.
No need to ask this question, right? You know the correct answer, and we all know what your going to do (pretty much the opposite). Ahh, the falacy of being a man...
OldAsiaHand
01-04-08, 03:44
Long Bro,
You have been in and out of China since 1998 and you don't know what's up? It is so obvious it is ridiculous. A single, rich, foreigner with his own company? Open your eyes and start thinking with your big head my friend!
Just my POV.
OAH
Gents and Fellow Mongers;
My I have been working with my PA for a few months and wondering if should or should not go forward with dipping my wink in the company ink. I have really been trying to avoid the situation at every turn of bend; but she is really persistant about this action. I even tell her I am going to the KTV's and so forth. She has seen me in action in suzie wongs; maggies and even came over to cook a few times at my place. I now I know this could cause jealously in rank and file; but she is so dam fine. About a 8-10 and I been.n- out China since 1998. She know I am single and I run my own company. One day she came over to my place for working offsite from the office a couple of times and just wearing mini skirts just like j-girls and I ask whats up and she replied, I know you like how those j-girls dress in Tokyo and HK. She offered to go down on me and I still refuse. Do you think this real or a set up? Or do I fuck her and can on with the at hand? I am very close to her and hell I am paying her to finsh her Grad school studies. When I am on travel with her not in China; she always ask I don't just get one room. Is is common for Executives to married their PA. When I ask this question of my Chinese Brothers; they stated it is common in China. Plus to add there is no office drama and my other staff does not care.
Peace,
Long Bro
SE Asia Joe
01-04-08, 04:27
Gents and Fellow Mongers;
My I have been working with my PA for a few months and wondering if should or should not go forward with dipping my wink in the company ink. I have really been trying to avoid the situation at every turn of bend; but she is really persistant about this action. I even tell her I am going to the KTV's and so forth. She has seen me in action in suzie wongs; maggies and even came over to cook a few times at my place. I now I know this could cause jealously in rank and file; but she is so dam fine. About a 8-10 and I been.n- out China since 1998. She know I am single and I run my own company. One day she came over to my place for working offsite from the office a couple of times and just wearing mini skirts just like j-girls and I ask whats up and she replied, I know you like how those j-girls dress in Tokyo and HK. She offered to go down on me and I still refuse. Do you think this real or a set up? Or do I fuck her and can on with the at hand? I am very close to her and hell I am paying her to finsh her Grad school studies. When I am on travel with her not in China; she always ask I don't just get one room. Is is common for Executives to married their PA. When I ask this question of my Chinese Brothers; they stated it is common in China. Plus to add there is no office drama and my other staff does not care.
Peace,
Long Bro
Hell - if she's that fine why don't you just get it on with her - And then fire her from her job as your PA and OFFICIALLY just set her up as your GF or concubine. Saves all the melodrama and office gossip as she's now your official GF/concubine and not just a case of the boss dipping into the ink jar.
Looks as if you could aford it - and if after a couple or so months you get tired of her, then you can easily just drop her. And it would not be a company matter vs. the drama you'd have to endure if she was still under your company's employment.
Like my friend sez - when getting a concubine/GF - always get the best/most beautiful - they're easy to get rid of - it's the ugly ones who will hound you to death.
SE Asia Joe
the only problem you may have if you start to fk your PA is that you will find she is no longer willing to work as hard for you,,and you will have to get a new PA, which might be harder than getting such a nice girl,,,
No need to ask this question, right? You know the correct answer, and we all know what your going to do (pretty much the opposite). Ahh, the falacy of being a man...
Manfest is right. We went through this a month ago with another guy dipping his pen in Company ink. There is always problems (good and bad) with this. I know its difficult to find all these old post , so I wont say RTFF. 50% said no and 50% said....... go for it. I am sure you are smart enough to know the pros and cons of this.
Good luck , stay safe and be happy , its your call.
tile man
Mock A Bee
01-04-08, 05:24
Long Bro,
The way you describe your situation and the actions your PA takes, sounds like she pretty much wants you to marry her.
She probably knows more about you and your company than you think, and most likely has a good idea how much money you make.
As has been said before, many executives end up marrying their PA's, not just in China but all over the world. This is pretty universal.
If you dip your pen, be sure that you would not mind being married to her, because that is likely what she wants - and she is going to make sure you don't ever forget how good a lay she is going to be so you get addicted. That is until a few years of marriage and the kids start to pop out, then you will have to resort to having an Er Nai or monger.
She knows that is the danger or the relationship as well, this is how it has been working for thousands of years.
Good Luck!
Thanks Gents,
For all of your very candid advice. I truly value what has been given to me by fellow my brothers here on the forum. It is just good bounce things around sometimes.. I wish you guys a very Happy New Year in 2008
Peace,
Long Bro
Shady Slim
01-04-08, 08:20
Dude,
Have seen many people "pissing in their own ponds" or "getting high on their own supply". At least 90% of the time the endings were Bad. For the guys as well. Even single guys have come to grief over it.
Its your call anyways.
Meiguoguizi
01-04-08, 15:31
a quick review of 'long bro's' few posts will indicate that he is a black CEO who dates Maggies chinese employees 'on the side', has a virgin personal assistant, and posts bogus pictures of 'himself' with porno stars.
a quick review of 'long bro's' few posts will indicate that he is a black CEO who dates Maggies chinese employees 'on the side', has a virgin personal assistant, and posts bogus pictures of 'himself' with porno stars.First of all. Opinions. Mmm. Get the picture,
1) Does not matter if I am black, green, yellow or even fucking purple. Or do you just have a race issue to settle?
2) Sounds like jealously of course. And personally I am having to much fun doing the deed and not just hanging out on the board.
3) The board is not design for pissing contest and I am way too much of a gentlemen to lower myself to your insignificant standard.
4) Does not matter who I am dating and where. Bottom line is you’re not fucking them. (I am opps) Again sounding like someone pissing in their own backyard routine.
5) Nothing bogus about the pic's. And if (IF I CHOOSE) and NOT YOU CHOOSE flying someone or people in get someone different for take out (Maybe Away) it is because I have cheese to do so.
Meiguoguizi
01-05-08, 02:41
Spoken like a true CEO
First of all. Opinions. Mmm. Get the picture,
1) Does not matter if I am black, green, yellow or even fucking purple. Or do you just have a race issue to settle?
2) Sounds like jealously of course. And personally I am having to much fun doing the deed and not just hanging out on the board.
3) The board is not design for pissing contest and I am way too much of a gentlemen to lower myself to your insignificant standard.
4) Does not matter who I am dating and where. Bottom line is you’re not fucking them. (I am opps) Again sounding like someone pissing in their own backyard routine.
5) Nothing bogus about the pic's. And if (IF I CHOOSE) and NOT YOU CHOOSE flying someone or people in get someone different for take out (Maybe Away) it is because I have cheese to do so.
First of all. Opinions. Mmm. Get the picture,
1) Does not matter if I am black, green, yellow or even fucking purple. Or do you just have a race issue to settle?
2) Sounds like jealously of course. And personally I am having to much fun doing the deed and not just hanging out on the board.
3) The board is not design for pissing contest and I am way too much of a gentlemen to lower myself to your insignificant standard.
4) Does not matter who I am dating and where. Bottom line is you’re not fucking them. (I am opps) Again sounding like someone pissing in their own backyard routine.
5) Nothing bogus about the pic's. And if (IF I CHOOSE) and NOT YOU CHOOSE flying someone or people in get someone different for take out (Maybe Away) it is because I have cheese to do so.
Half the men on ISG talk BS (including me) , I try to throw out the Bull Shit , read what may help me in the future and fuck the rest. We don't need to beat a dead horse.
I forgot about your pictures that you showed a month ago. Pictures do nothing for me unless its my action. But , I do want accurate info.
Good luck , be safe and you all take care.
tile man
Old Mean Dog
01-05-08, 04:28
First of all. Opinions. Mmm. Get the picture,
1) Does not matter if I am black, green, yellow or even fucking purple. Or do you just have a race issue to settle?
2) Sounds like jealously of course. And personally I am having to much fun doing the deed and not just hanging out on the board.
3) The board is not design for pissing contest and I am way too much of a gentlemen to lower myself to your insignificant standard.
4) Does not matter who I am dating and where. Bottom line is you’re not fucking them. (I am opps) Again sounding like someone pissing in their own backyard routine.
5) Nothing bogus about the pic's. And if (IF I CHOOSE) and NOT YOU CHOOSE flying someone or people in get someone different for take out (Maybe Away) it is because I have cheese to do so.
Hahaha...now this guy's posts/pics are damn funny! Problem is, I think he's even convinced himself that his bullshit is the truth.
Gotta love ISG for its entertainment value.
-CPE
Watched a program on TV last night about Asian girls being obsessed with and having surgery for their eyelids. I never noticed it before, but apparently they don't have a crease in their eyelids like westerners do, and having reviewed a few pics, I can see it is true. Do you know what I am on about, a small crease in the eyelid at the top, before it reaches the skull.
I never gave it a second thought, but to some it apparently makes a big difference. Any thoughts gents?
Personally I don't care, never noticed, why would I?
Pete
Tuscan Man
01-05-08, 11:11
Watched a program on TV last night about Asian girls being obsessed with and having surgery for their eyelids. I never noticed it before, but apparently they don't have a crease in their eyelids like westerners do, and having reviewed a few pics, I can see it is true. Do you know what I am on about, a small crease in the eyelid at the top, before it reaches the skull.
I never gave it a second thought, but to some it apparently makes a big difference. Any thoughts gents?
Personally I don't care, never noticed, why would I?
Pete
Yeah, It's common that the girls want the eyelid surgery and it actually makes a difference for the girls in the entertainment business. My last KTV girlfriend had the eyelid thing done and it cost one of her customers 3000 yuan. The Chinese customers like it and her business is up 50% from before the surgury!
Yeah, It's common that the girls want the eyelid surgery and it actually makes a difference for the girls in the entertainment business. My last KTV girlfriend had the eyelid thing done and it cost one of her customers 3000 yuan. The Chinese customers like it and her business is up 50% from before the surgury!
I have a friend in her early 30s in a completely different business. She runs a factory of her own. She also got that sugery done.
So obviously it is true. Poor girls, don't they understand we like them without that?
I have a friend in her early 30s in a completely different business. She runs a factory of her own. She also got that sugery done.
hey avocado man ( tuscan man) , they aslo have a new eye glue that make the girls eyes look more round and bigger ( westen look ). I will try to find the "youtube" AG should go into that business too. I just hope they don't go to the dumb blonde look.
take care and be safe.
tile man
AsianLover
01-05-08, 14:48
It is true that many asian woman are getting this surgery. Its called blepharoplasty and if you search google images under asian blepharoplasty you can see before and after pictures. The surgery essentially puts a fold in your upper eyelid which makes your eyes rounder and more almond shaped.
So obviously it is true. Poor girls, don't they understand we like them without that?
Who is "we"? Please understand that that laowais (foreigners) make up a very small percentage of guys in China. Many foreigners don't care whether the girls have single or double eyelids, but some chinese do (they prefer double eyelids). So the girls win either way if they get the surgery to convert to double eyelids. Seems like a perfectly good strategy on the part of the girls to me. Too many laowais seem to think that China and Chinese girls are all about them. Wake up...
Who is "we"? Please understand that that laowais (foreigners) make up a very small percentage of guys in China. Many foreigners don't care whether the girls have single or double eyelids, but some chinese do (they prefer double eyelids). So the girls win either way if they get the surgery to convert to double eyelids. Seems like a perfectly good strategy on the part of the girls to me. Too many laowais seem to think that China and Chinese girls are all about them. Wake up...
Fucken hell, a bit touchy aren't WE! Take the comment as it was intended, ie women all round the world getting cosmetic surgery to enhance their appearance, NOT some sort of racial superiority thing.
Fucken hell, a bit touchy aren't WE! Take the comment as it was intended, ie women all round the world getting cosmetic surgery to enhance their appearance, NOT some sort of racial superiority thing.
Women dress and do all this shit for other women. Yes , in the long run they compete with each other , and I am sure that no Chinese woman or other Country women will not do any of this shit for me or you all. Its just a woman thing. Period.
take care and you all be safe
Clean Gene
01-06-08, 12:22
Carleton Coon, the Harvard Anthropologist, mentioned that the Mongoloid eyefold was probably a cold adaptation. I can remember the photograph of the hundreds of Wehrmacht returnees from the Eastern Front (WWII) sleeping in a Berlin railroad station with cloth strips tied about their eyes. Their eyelids had frozen off. They could no longer close their eyes during sleep.
"Double eyelids" are probably more attractive giving the "wide eyed" look. Especially in a girl.
Mock A Bee
01-07-08, 02:37
I am pretty sure I believe I have seen natural double eyelid on Chinese women before. On some Chinese Men as well.
Take a look, they are out there. I have looked at enough men and women while riding the subway to observe this.
I have also seen very obvious double eyelid surgery on Chinese women and quite frankly unless it is done in an extremely realistic way (impossible?), it is pretty obvious it was surgery, and quite frankly looks pretty silly. Kind of how fake tits don't hang naturally, so bad boob jobs are easy to spot.
Cosmetic surgery (double eyelid, breast augmentation, etc.) to me, is a big turnoff. It just isn't necessary IMHO, though as has been pointed out by Tile man4, there are definitely women who get all dolled up for other women.
As told to me in Shanghai by a shallow Beijing woman (who adopted Shanghai bad habits) I once new, said that women like to look at other women because it was all about making themselves feel better by being able to point out women who are "uglier" or not as pretty (in their small minded opinion of themselves) than they are.
She literally said this to me with a straight face - she was serious, no need to make any of this up!
MAB
I am pretty sure I believe I have seen natural double eyelid on Chinese women before. On some Chinese Men as well.
It's actually pretty common. For the fair skinned Asians, probably about 50% or so have it. I know everyone in my family has it. I think most non-Asians don't really notice the double eyelid thing, but most Asians do.
One other thing, and this not directed at you MAB just FYI, a lot of people have the surgery done to them when they are children. Also, a lot of it is not surgery. They have this little piece of tape you can stick on your eyelids. If you keep it on for about a year, the crease stays permanent. This is obviously a much cheaper alternative, a couple yuan a week or so. I think a lot of the so called "bad" ones are ones done DIY style with the tape.
So obviously it is true. Poor girls, don't they understand we like them without that?
The issue is not really whether foreigners find it attractive. The fact of the matter is... Chinese men find it attractive. The road also runs both ways. A lot of Chinese women also find men much more attractive if they have this feature.
The issue is not really whether foreigners find it attractive. The fact of the matter is... Chinese men find it attractive. The road also runs both ways. A lot of Chinese women also find men much more attractive if they have this feature.
OK, it's horses for courses then. I have only had the privelage of shagging 5 Chinese ladies and I never noticed their eyelids. In fact, I have perved over many Chinese ladies and never once did I even consider the eyelids, in fact it never crossed my mind until I saw the program. Obviously I am looking at the wrong parts of a woman, silly me!
The road also runs both ways. A lot of Chinese women also find men much more attractive if they have this feature.I believe this has a lot to do with thinking about any possible future children. Chinese think a lot about having beautiful babies that will have better chance to be successful, often, they want the tall, whiter skinned, no abnormalities type mate, IMO, it's about their children, which in turn, is about their own future.
I know a girl that dropped a very good Chinese guy, because he is color blind, another who couldn’t marry a guy she loved cause his family is on the short side. I’ve had a lot of conversations about how "handicapped" folk in western countries are successful, most of the Chinese have been surprised it’s possible.
I believe this has a lot to do with thinking about any possible future children. Chinese think a lot about having beautiful babies that will have better chance to be successful, often, they want the tall, whiter skinned, no abnormalities type mate, IMO, it's about their children, which in turn, is about their own future.
I know a girl that dropped a very good Chinese guy, because he is color blind, another who couldn’t marry a guy she loved cause his family is on the short side. I’ve had a lot of conversations about how "handicapped" folk in western countries are successful, most of the Chinese have been surprised it’s possible.
Of course cosmetic surgery doesn't get translated into genetic make-up!. Colour blindness. The dumb fucks shouldn't be second guessing genetics either. Conventional colourblindness is carried on the X chromosome which means if an xx woman and xy man have a male xy child, the x will have come from the mother, not the father, and therefore he won't be colour blind unless the mother also carried the gene, in which case she's being an idiot. A daughter will not be colour blind unless again the mother carries the gene, because although one x comes from the man in a daughter ( the x that carries the gene), a female needs 2 copies of the gene for it to be expressed. Therefore the chances of having any child that is colour blind are pretty small.
Fair enough, with real true genetic disorders there is maybe a point to being selective, but with stuff like height etc, it's a free for all.
All this has told me that Chinese people are obviously very superficial, or at least that is the way they are being depicted.
Pete
The dumb fucks shouldn't be second guessing genetics either. Conventional colourblindness is carried on the X chromosome which means if an xx woman and xy man have a male xy child, the x will have come from the mother, not the father, .......
All this has told me that Chinese people are obviously very superficial, or at least that is the way they are being depicted.
Pete
Before western civilization adopted "romance" as a cause for a marital contract, most marraiges were arranged by families. Matchmakers often made secret inquiries about medical problems in the other family.
So many Chinese people are simply following a tradition that was also common in the west.
Naturally, the average person doesn't understand Mendelian genetics. Even most US presidential candidates don't understand natural selection and genetics, and they will soon be the leaders of western civilization.
Old Mean Dog
01-09-08, 16:31
Before western civilization adopted "romance" as a cause for a marital contract, most marraiges were arranged by families. Matchmakers often made secret inquiries about medical problems in the other family.
So many Chinese people are simply following a tradition that was also common in the west.
Naturally, the average person doesn't understand Mendelian genetics. Even most US presidential candidates don't understand natural selection and genetics, and they will soon be the leaders of western civilization.
There are still modern day matchmakers. ;)
-CPE
Carleton Coon, the Harvard Anthropologist, mentioned that the Mongoloid eyefold was probably a cold adaptation. I can remember the photograph of the hundreds of Wehrmacht returnees from the Eastern Front (WWII) sleeping in a Berlin railroad station with cloth strips tied about their eyes. Their eyelids had frozen off. They could no longer close their eyes during sleep.
"Double eyelids" are probably more attractive giving the "wide eyed" look. Especially in a girl.
The "eye fold" is the cute slanted skin in the corner of the eye, which I find to be very exotic and attractive in Asian women. It is believed to be an adaptation to living in an ice and snow environment during the ice age. I think it reduces the suns blinding glare.
The "double eyelid" is a long fold above the eye. See www.beautifuleyes.com and then click on cosmetic surgery and blepharoplasty.
Who said anything about racial superiority? Certainly wasn't me who started it. My point is that mainland Chinese girls (and guys) think from a Chinese point of view. Laowai's are a relatively new phenomenon and hardly enter into the equation as to how the majority of them behave when it comes to serious issues. And getting surgery for eyelids is serious enough, it's not quite the same as getting a cup of coffee at Starbuck's to get a guowai/western experience.
Fucken hell, a bit touchy aren't WE! Take the comment as it was intended, ie women all round the world getting cosmetic surgery to enhance their appearance, NOT some sort of racial superiority thing.
Before western civilization adopted "romance" as a cause for a marital contract, most marraiges were arranged by families. Matchmakers often made secret inquiries about medical problems in the other family.
So many Chinese people are simply following a tradition that was also common in the west.
Naturally, the average person doesn't understand Mendelian genetics. Even most US presidential candidates don't understand natural selection and genetics, and they will soon be the leaders of western civilization.
Fair point.
SE Asia Joe
01-10-08, 04:11
Fair point.
Got a question for you petemcc as well as others here:
I had read your postings on Giotto's lodge (which has now all been deleted by Giotto) where you came across (and I hope you don't mind my characterization) as a hopelessly brash, often drunk, loud, egotistical and cheap male nurse only interested in Pattaya cheap ho's who is eager to pick a fight with one and all on that thread. I got myself savaged on that thread too - not as much by Giotto as by others in his thread who seems to think the lodge is true heaven). And my mistake was when I said that I didn't like his cheap plastic covered furniture - and they all insisted that it was high class naugahide!!
What's up with the different personnae on different threads?
Just curious
SE Asia Joe
Clean Gene
01-10-08, 07:52
Thanks for clarification of distinction between "eyefold" and "single" or "double" lids. I was unaware. A friend's daughter with Down's Syndrome has "double eye lids" and is still a "tight eye"*. Me now savy.
------------
*"Tight Eye" in the Ebonics Vernacular is a member of the "Over Represented Minority". These include Chinese, Koreans, Japanese etc. But does not include Filipinos, Indonesians or Malaysians (unless they " 'ave alot o' the CH*NK 'n 'em"--quote from 'Road to Mandalay'.)
Got a question for you petemcc as well as others here:
I had read your postings on Giotto's lodge (which has now all been deleted by Giotto) where you came across (and I hope you don't mind my characterization) as a hopelessly brash, often drunk, loud, egotistical and cheap male nurse only interested in Pattaya cheap ho's who is eager to pick a fight with one and all on that thread. I got myself savaged on that thread too - not as much by Giotto as by others in his thread who seems to think the lodge is true heaven). And my mistake was when I said that I didn't like his cheap plastic covered furniture - and they all insisted that it was high class naugahide!!
What's up with the different personnae on different threads?
Just curious
SE Asia Joe
I will PM you, I don't think people want to know about me on this particular thread.
Pete
As a matter of interest, last night I looked at myself in the mirror-frightening, but that aside, I couldn't see my eyelids! Maybe it's because my overhanging brow or something, but I could only see my eyelids if I closed one eye at a time. I am getting more and more confused about this eyelid thing, but maybe it's just me.
Pirateiam36
01-13-08, 07:24
Sorry I have not posted since joining but I would like to share some of my experiences and thoughts on Chinese women. I am looking for any feedback from forum members that have my similar experience.
I have to confess I am a "Chinese womanholic". I am from the USA. My first serious girlfriend 20 years ago was Chinese/Phillip in college. Fast forward 20 years and I married a beautiful Sichuan woman 2 years ago. I love her deeply and I know she will always be my one true love and I always go back to her arms. But. I just cannot satisfy my lust for lovely Chinese woman. It is hard to understand this disease but there is something about an attractive, intelligent, strong willed Chinese woman. Yes I said intelligent and strong willed. Any of you that are suprised have never had a relationship with a girl from the Sichuan LOL. Intellegence: LOL Remember YOU are giving THEM money for time spent with them not the other way around. Strong willed: hehe My Chinese brothers will back me on this one. Sichuan: spicy food, spicy women, spicy tempers!
A good example of my Sichuan weakness: I travel extensively throughout China/Taiwan for my business. This conveniently takes me through Hong Kong and Macau so I stop for the weekend sometimes for R&R. The other day I was in Sauna 18. As all Sauna 18 veterans know its always a "pick of the draw" wether you get a good or bad personality, no matter how beautiful they are. Anyway my first pick was a pretty Chinese girl from Tianjin, but during the line up I saw another that I knew right away was from the Sichuan. I can now instantly recognize the Sichuan look. We made eye contact I knew right away she was from the Sichuan (I think my lower level brain said run run its your wife so I did not pick her LOL) Anyways. The Tianjin girl was ok she was funy and cute but somewhat mechanical and gave an awful "afterwards massage" in fact I ended up talking to her and giving her a massage maybe teach her something. After going back upstairs I had a scrub down and relaxed in the chair and the only thing I could think about is that Sichuan girl. LOL My brain kept saying "go back to the next line up and pick her". "Go for another lineup, pick her". "you can do it big guy". My "addiction" was kicking in.
So yes I ended up going for a second line up and picking her. I had to get my "fix". I headed downstairs into the rooms. When she arrived she first asked me where I was from (95% Putonghua, 5% english with a questioniong look to see if I understood Putonghua), I speak fluent Putonghua and I replyed USA and before she replied where she was from I asked her where in the Sichuan she is from. She looked at me in amazement. How did you know I was from the Sichuan she asked inquisitively? I replyed shyly I know many people from there so I can tell. She said she was from Chengdu. So now I named some neighboring towns and she was even more suprised because I named a small city she was from. We talked about her city and my travels in the Sichuan (I go at least 4 times a year) while she showered me. Once you can make that kind of connection with a girl (working girl or not) it makes everything else that much more easy. So before I knew it she looks at me with the spicy Sichuan eyes and hands on hips and says. "You are very handsome but you should excercise more so you can be even more handsome and healthy! (I am not FAT but I am the typical "middle linebacker" size American, broad shoulders but a little to thick in the gut. Too many beers and no more Football playing LOL). This made me almost run for the door since this is exactly what my wife says to me. Any of you guys have a Sichaun wife or girlfriend will know what I mean. The strong willed way a Sichuan woman speaks to you is unique. They maybe strong minded but they do it in a loving way. We had a wonderful time which I will not go into details and by the end she had squeezed out the truth that I was married to Sichuan girl and that is how I knew so much. I will be going back to see her again tonight. I am hoplessley addicted to Sichaun woman. Pity me
So any of you boys have a similar desease give me some feedback. Is there any hope for me?
Pirateiam36
01-13-08, 09:11
Sorry I have not posted since joining but I would like to share some of my experiences and thoughts on Chinese women. I am looking for any feedback from forum members that have my similar experience.
I have to confess I am a "Chinese womanholic". I am from the USA. My first serious girlfriend 20 years ago was Chinese/Phillip in college. Fast forward 20 years and I married a beautiful Sichuan woman 2 years ago. I love her deeply and I know she will always be my one true love and I always go back to her arms. But. I just cannot satisfy my lust for lovely Chinese woman. It is hard to understand this disease but there is something about an attractive, intelligent, strong willed Chinese woman. Yes I said intelligent and strong willed. Any of you that are suprised I say that have never had a relationship with a girl from the Sichuan LOL. Intellegence: LOL Remember YOU are giving THEM money for time spent with them not the other way around. Strong willed: hehe My Chinese brothers will back me on this one. Sichuan: spicy food, spicy women, spicy tempers!
A good example of my Sichuan weakness: I travel extensively throughout China/Taiwan for my business. This conveniently takes me through Hong Kong and Macau so I stop for the weekend sometimes for R&R. The other day I was in Sauna 18. As all Sauna 18 veterans know its always a "pick of the draw" wether you get a good or bad personality, no matter how beautiful they are. Anyway my first pick was a pretty Chinese girl from Tianjin, but during the line up I saw another that I knew right away was from the Sichuan. I can now instantly recognize the Sichuan look. We made eye contact I knew right away she was from the Sichuan (I think my lower level brain said run run its your wife so I did not pick her LOL) Anyways. The Tianjin girl was ok she was funy and cute but somewhat mechanical and gave an awful "afterwards massage" in fact I ended up talking to her and giving her a massage maybe teach her something. After going back upstairs I had a scrub down and relaxed in the chair and the only thing I could think about is that Sichuan girl. LOL My brain kept saying "go back to the next line up and pick her". "Go for another lineup, pick her". "you can do it big guy". My "addiction" was kicking in.
So yes I ended up going for a second line up and picking her. I had to get my "fix". I headed downstairs into the rooms. When she arrived she first asked me where I was from (95% Putonghua, 5% english with a questioniong look to see if I understood Putonghua), I speak ok Putonghua and I replyed USA and before she replied where she was from I asked her where in the Sichuan she is from. She looked at me in amazement. How did you know I was from the Sichuan she asked inquisitively? I replyed shyly I know many people from there so I can tell. She said she was from Chengdu. So now I named some neighboring towns and she was even more suprised because I named a small city she was from. We talked about her city and my travels in the Sichuan (I go at least 4 times a year) while she showered me. Once you can make that kind of connection with a girl (working girl or not) it makes everything else that much more easy. So before I knew it she looks at me with the spicy Sichuan eyes and hands on hips and says. "You are very handsome but you should excercise more so you can be even more handsome and healthy! (I am not FAT but I am the typical "middle linebacker" size American, broad shoulders but a little to thick in the gut. Too many beers and no more Football playing LOL). This made me almost run for the door since this is exactly what my wife says to me. Any of you guys have a Sichaun wife or girlfriend will know what I mean. The strong willed way a Sichuan woman speaks to you is unique. They maybe strong minded but they do it in a loving way. We had a wonderful time which I will not go into details and by the end she had squeezed out the truth that I was married to Sichuan girl and that is how I knew so much. I will be going back to see her again tonight. I am hoplessley addicted to Sichaun woman. Pity me
So any of you boys have a similar desease give me some feedback. Is there any hope for me?
EDITOR'S NOTE: I would suggest that the author or another Forum Member consider posting a link to this report in the Reports of Distinction thread. Please Click Here (http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/announcement-reportsofdistinction.php?) for more information.
OldAsiaHand
01-14-08, 08:27
I also have a wife from Sichuan, but do not share the same addiction for Sichuan girls that you have. I do have an addiction for WGs in general. The majority of the Chinese P4P girls that I do are from Sichuan, Hunan, Hubei. Yes, I will agree that Sichuan WGs generally provide good service, but that does not mean that all others do not and all Sichuan girls do. In my experience, Hubei girls give the least of the three.
Just my POV.
OAH
from
Sorry I have not posted since joining but I would like to share some of my experiences and thoughts on Chinese women. I am looking for any feedback from forum members that have my similar experience.
I have to confess I am a "Chinese womanholic". I am from the USA. My first serious girlfriend 20 years ago was Chinese/Phillip in college. Fast forward 20 years and I married a beautiful Sichuan woman 2 years ago. I love her deeply and I know she will always be my one true love and I always go back to her arms. But. I just cannot satisfy my lust for lovely Chinese woman. It is hard to understand this disease but there is something about an attractive, intelligent, strong willed Chinese woman. Yes I said intelligent and strong willed. Any of you that are suprised I say that have never had a relationship with a girl from the Sichuan LOL. Intellegence: LOL Remember YOU are giving THEM money for time spent with them not the other way around. Strong willed: hehe My Chinese brothers will back me on this one. Sichuan: spicy food, spicy women, spicy tempers!
A good example of my Sichuan weakness: I travel extensively throughout China/Taiwan for my business. This conveniently takes me through Hong Kong and Macau so I stop for the weekend sometimes for R&R. The other day I was in Sauna 18. As all Sauna 18 veterans know its always a "pick of the draw" wether you get a good or bad personality, no matter how beautiful they are. Anyway my first pick was a pretty Chinese girl from Tianjin, but during the line up I saw another that I knew right away was from the Sichuan. I can now instantly recognize the Sichuan look. We made eye contact I knew right away she was from the Sichuan (I think my lower level brain said run run its your wife so I did not pick her LOL) Anyways. The Tianjin girl was ok she was funy and cute but somewhat mechanical and gave an awful "afterwards massage" in fact I ended up talking to her and giving her a massage maybe teach her something. After going back upstairs I had a scrub down and relaxed in the chair and the only thing I could think about is that Sichuan girl. LOL My brain kept saying "go back to the next line up and pick her". "Go for another lineup, pick her". "you can do it big guy". My "addiction" was kicking in.
So yes I ended up going for a second line up and picking her. I had to get my "fix". I headed downstairs into the rooms. When she arrived she first asked me where I was from (95% Putonghua, 5% english with a questioniong look to see if I understood Putonghua), I speak ok Putonghua and I replyed USA and before she replied where she was from I asked her where in the Sichuan she is from. She looked at me in amazement. How did you know I was from the Sichuan she asked inquisitively? I replyed shyly I know many people from there so I can tell. She said she was from Chengdu. So now I named some neighboring towns and she was even more suprised because I named a small city she was from. We talked about her city and my travels in the Sichuan (I go at least 4 times a year) while she showered me. Once you can make that kind of connection with a girl (working girl or not) it makes everything else that much more easy. So before I knew it she looks at me with the spicy Sichuan eyes and hands on hips and says. "You are very handsome but you should excercise more so you can be even more handsome and healthy! (I am not FAT but I am the typical "middle linebacker" size American, broad shoulders but a little to thick in the gut. Too many beers and no more Football playing LOL). This made me almost run for the door since this is exactly what my wife says to me. Any of you guys have a Sichaun wife or girlfriend will know what I mean. The strong willed way a Sichuan woman speaks to you is unique. They maybe strong minded but they do it in a loving way. We had a wonderful time which I will not go into details and by the end she had squeezed out the truth that I was married to Sichuan girl and that is how I knew so much. I will be going back to see her again tonight. I am hoplessley addicted to Sichaun woman. Pity me
So any of you boys have a similar desease give me some feedback. Is there any hope for me?
EDITOR'S NOTE: I would suggest that the author or another Forum Member consider posting a link to this report in the Reports of Distinction thread. Please Click Here (http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/announcement-reportsofdistinction.php?) for more information.
One Wing Low
01-15-08, 22:40
A friend who lived and traveled extensively in China recently gave me an advice. He said if your Chinese GF catches you cheating, she is likely to serve you your own sausage and meatballs on a silver platter.
She is a:
a) South China girl;
b) Shanghai girl;
c) Beijing girl;
d) Mongolian girl;
e) China other areas girl;
f) None of the above.
Before taking any more risk, would the experienced bros please advise?
A friend who lived and traveled extensively in China recently gave me an advice. He said if your Chinese GF catches you cheating, she is likely to serve you your own sausage and meatballs on a silver platter.
She is a:
a) South China girl;
b) Shanghai girl;
c) Beijing girl;
d) Mongolian girl;
e) China other areas girl;
f) None of the above.
Before taking any more risk, would the experienced bros please advise?
This should go on to Cebu Local's list of hilarious questions.
RasSpewtin
01-16-08, 14:47
This topic came up over a few beers last weekend with a few guys who have been married to, or have had long term relationships with, the most money-hungry women on the planet….Ooops, I mean with Chinese women. Sorry for the Freudian slip.
My experience has been that Chinese women regard the man’s money as the couple’s money. Regardless of whether or not he is the bigger wage earner, he will pay for the mortgage, the food, the car, and on and on.
But somehow, her earnings just magically disappear into a fiscal void. Her money can be used for personal luxuries, to buy lavish gifts for the folks back in China, or socked away into some investments that she keeps secret for God-knows-why (HINT: She is saving her own nest egg for what she considers an inevitable eventuality….the couple will split up or she will get bored and leave).
And if you ever confront her with her selfish approach to cash, she will be dumbfounded as to why you would dare challenge her.
Anyone wish to differ with my views? Can anyone testify?
Raz
Old Mean Dog
01-16-08, 16:52
This topic came up over a few beers last weekend with a few guys who have been married to, or have had long term relationships with, the most money-hungry women on the planet….Ooops, I mean with Chinese women. Sorry for the Freudian slip.
My experience has been that Chinese women regard the man’s money as the couple’s money. Regardless of whether or not he is the bigger wage earner, he will pay for the mortgage, the food, the car, and on and on.
But somehow, her earnings just magically disappear into a fiscal void. Her money can be used for personal luxuries, to buy lavish gifts for the folks back in China, or socked away into some investments that she keeps secret for God-knows-why (HINT: She is saving her own nest egg for what she considers an inevitable eventuality….the couple will split up or she will get bored and leave).
And if you ever confront her with her selfish approach to cash, she will be dumbfounded as to why you would dare challenge her.
Anyone wish to differ with my views? Can anyone testify?
Raz
Nope, welcome to China.
-CPE
Ragnarok42
01-17-08, 01:38
My experience has been that Chinese women regard the man’s money as the couple’s money. Regardless of whether or not he is the bigger wage earner, he will pay for the mortgage, the food, the car, and on and on.
But somehow, her earnings just magically disappear into a fiscal void.
And if you ever confront her with her selfish approach to cash, she will be dumbfounded as to why you would dare challenge her.
I thought that applied to all marriages or relationships in any culture, Chinese women are just more flaggarant and unapologetic about it ;-)
Hey at least she makes money and uses it to buy luxury goods rather than spending even more of your money. In all fairness, there are many women I know in China that are not like that its probably the type of women you have encountered. If they see you as "laowai" then they will never treat you as anything other than a walking wallet. If you want to marry the beautiful, trophy wife then be prepared to pay the toll.
Just my two RMB.
Clean Gene
01-17-08, 02:34
Nope, welcome to China.
-CPE
My Chinese wife was very thrifty until she got an idea of how much I was holding out on her. Now she spends. Luxuries, eating out with friends, memberships in clubs, Yoga, Trainer, skiing lessons, sword lessons as well as supporting a couple of relatives, not to speak of "emergencies of relatives" (which totaled a bit over 26,000 USD last year). Yesterday a nephew needed 100,000 RMB which he had borrowed and which his partner absconded with; he can't even return home for fear of the "collectors".
But all this seems small compared to what I have to give to my American Ex wife. And that was small compared to the fiscal and emotional price of staying with her.
Thank God for China. (And I'll have dinner tonight with my XiBeiDa Chinese Lit grad.)
NSA Cruzer
01-17-08, 03:51
I am a Special Counsel and my area of expertise is Accounts & Finance. About two years after the beginning of the economic expansion of the Chinese economy, inquires to our firm have risen by over 300%! All of our clients are either ethnic Chinese, expats working in China or men who married a Chinese women and brought her back to his country in the west (Australia, New Zealand, United States, United Kingdom, & Europe where our clients have asked for help).
In my earlier cases, the common theme was a rich client thinking he was marrying a gorgeous Chinese women who initially who care for him, but secretly bleeding him dry. The spending was quite incredible; overseas trips on business class, top accommodation, the finest of fine dining, designer clothes, designer shoes, designer handbags. The lists goes on-and-on. These clients earn so much that they did not keep a close eye on their accounts and we just happy to see there wife being happy. Remember, most of these clients were lonely as they worked so hard succeeding in life and wanted a women to come home too. The average age difference was about 25yrs with men having a preference for 26yo long hair, long leg Chinese women.
The common reason for marriage breakup was the either the women getting bored or the man reigning in the spending which she didn't like (remember the women does not work at all).
As mentioned at the beginning, my specialty is Accounts & Finance, however, I had to attend may ugly divorce hearings and meetings trying to protect my clients money and assets. The arrogance and viciousness of the so-called scorned Chinese women is unbelievable. The things they would say in justifying the excessive spending claiming it was necessary to alleviate boredom and lack of attention. Some claimed it was a form of payment for year of being nice and caring to the husband. If that wasn't enough, then there was the demands of ongoing support payments and dividing of assets. Of all of my earlier cases, the women demanded an outrageous high support 'wage' to maintain the lifestyle she was accustomed too whilst living in the so-called 'marriage hell'. It really begged belief as this was a women with nothing and was given everything on a silver plate!
In my recent cases, fortunately we men have become more smarter and I now help clients protect their assets through complicated offshore structures so no money-grabbing women can get her hands on them. I still receive plenty of cases but my job is a little easier as we have assisted them protecting their assets.
The reasons for splitting up is still the same and I agree with previous postings where if the Chinese women works, she does not contribute to paying mortgages, debts, bills. Etc. She would rather spend her money on luxury goods rather than bills as she regards it as the 'man's duty'. This actually helps me in divorce cases as I can show to the judge as evidence that she did not contribute to the harmony of marriage and commit to a long-term relationship as her intention was to use the man as a 'meal/green ticket' to the country.
Another forum member discussed how a Chinese women put money away for a nest egg. If the women does not work, thus not earning a wage, and takes money from her husband without knowledge or false pretenses, then the husband can recover all lost funds. I have argued this point on many occasions and always get a favourable judgement.
In legal circles, we call these Chinese women leeches or sponges. They are quite vicious, cunning and vindictive and many occasions I have been the target of verbal and attempted physical abuse. They would try to hit me with their hands, handbags even their shoes! Everytime one of them tries to hit me with either their designer handbag or designer shoe I tell them to be careful as they should look after it as its likely to be their last ever luxury good item! Then they something in Chinese, which my translator tells me, and I take it in my stride and give them the brush-off signal the a hand motion on my shoulder or smile nicely. Which makes them more pissed off!
I am expecting another busy year as more and more Chinese women try to leech onto a westerner and hope to sponge off him for many years to come.
Everytime I visit a RnT shop across the world which is usually staffed by Chinese, I see them all as money-grabbing women. I know some forum members might be saying that I am contributing to this as I am paying them for services! My point is that I am not financially supporting them, I have no intention to take one home permanently, they are rude (this spitting thing they do is disgusting) and I know how they think; they are fake in their sincerity and intentions. I guess I use these RnT's as an anger/pressure release mechanism where I just don't care and have no respect for them (but am not rude to them. Its pure business).
Thought I would have a rant on the subject.
Thanks
NSA Cruzer
EDITOR'S NOTE: I would suggest that the author or another Forum Member consider posting a link to this report in the Reports of Distinction thread. Please Click Here (http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/announcement-reportsofdistinction.php?) for more information.
OldAsiaHand
01-17-08, 04:44
Hey at least she makes money and uses it to buy luxury goods rather than spending even more of your money.
This applies to me. What Raz says is true about my relationship with Chinese wife. I pay all the household and family expenses. Although I may buy her a small gift from time to time, she takes care of all her personal expenses, including the luxury goods. I give her family a little money at CNY, but she has never asked me for help with them. I still think she costs me much less than her western counterparts would.
Just my POV.
OAH
SE Asia Joe
01-17-08, 04:52
This applies to me. What Raz says is true about my relationship with Chinese wife. I pay all the household and family expenses. Although I may buy her a small gift from time to time, she takes care of all her personal expenses, including the luxury goods. I give her family a little money at CNY, but she has never asked me for help with them. I still think she costs me much less than her western counterparts would.
Just my POV.
OAH
Hey - believe this is true of 'most' marriages - anywhere!
My second time around, knowing the certainty of the fiscal arrangements in most if not all marriages, I took the initiative and lovingly and proudly announce pre-marriage that "My money is our money, your money is your money" - and proceeded to fully control "our" money. The trick is to let her know that you earn the money, you are more fiscally astute, you will in any case provide for her. Don't let her to even think that she's gonna be any better with "our" money or that you would even dream of screwing her out of "our" money - and you're home free amigos
SE Asia Joe
Ragnarok42
01-17-08, 05:26
[QUOTE=Clean Gene"emergencies of relatives" (which totaled a bit over 26,000 USD last year). Yesterday a nephew needed 100,000 RMB which he had borrowed and which his partner absconded with; he can't even return home for fear of the "collectors". [/QUOTE]
well, lets look at it another way - you make enough to spend that much in a year and not be living out of a box. Unlike my working class ass ;-)
I guess you are right - "if you want to play, then you have to pay". Some more than others
Red Rock II
01-17-08, 05:28
I think the relationship between OAH and his Chinese wife is normal and acceptable (actually, it is ideal from my point of view). Generally speaking, if a man is financially stronger, he should hold on more responsibility of a family and take care of the lady that he loves. The point is whether she appreciates what you have done to her and to the family or she takes it for granted and gets greedier and greedier. You can’t blame on a lady that takes your financial situation into consideration when she is going to marry you. However, if a lady thinks herself as being a world-class beauty is married with you as being an unattractive, regular guy with a relatively deep pocket, then she would expect you to compensate the beauty that she “sacrifices” for you. Now you are in trouble. Please don’t walk, run! Well, not just run, Fuck and Run!
RasSpewtin
01-17-08, 09:29
Thanks for the feedback, guys. I agree with most, and differ slightly with others. But in general, it was good to see that my experience was not totally out of the norm. Hopefully there are some lessons to be learned in the posts below.
I thought it might help to put some context into my views, without getting overly personal. In my case, I married a Chinese woman 13 years my junior. She was an educated professional with a very good job in China. She was not beautiful by any means, but she was kind and fun at first (while we were courting in China, that is). I did all of the paperwork and immigration stuff, and basically sponsored her to North America. Within one week of arriving, already her claws were coming out. She had turned from Damsel to Dragon in a very short time.
She spoke incessantly about money and finances, and was constantly critical that I was not putting enough away for our future. So I pushed her out into the workplace, and told her to contribute or basically shut up. She did get a decent job, but things only degenerated further after that.
Throughout the marriage, she seldom contributed to any of the household costs. Her money just magically disappeared, and now she has a new home that is nearly paid in full, thanks to her nest egg and a sizable divorce settlement.
I believed then, as I believe now, that if a woman wants more material wealth in the relationship, then it is her duty to contribute. Any relationship where a woman spends all of her money on herself will never work with me. But if it does with others, then great.
Raz
Clean Gene
01-17-08, 09:54
I've spent my time "living out of a box" working for my government pension. And my skinflint forebears spent their time "living out of a box" accumulating their wad.
I envy your youth, strength and ability to live life to the hilt and especially your years ahead.
(And I do not mind spending a little money in China. China has done some good things for myself as well as for a couple of my forebears. My grandfather was a missionary in China, and made profitable investment there. My father was born in China.)
CG
SE Asia Joe
01-17-08, 10:39
Thanks for the feedback, guys. I agree with most, and differ slightly with others. But in general, it was good to see that my experience was not totally out of the norm. Hopefully there are some lessons to be learned in the posts below.
I believed then, as I believe now, that if a woman wants more material wealth in the relationship, then it is her duty to contribute. Any relationship where a woman spends all of her money on herself will never work with me. But if it does with others, then great.
Raz
Raz Raz.... you're thinking like the White Man you are (oooops - sorry, hope yuou don't think I'm racist!). Have a read at what NSA cruser wrote - especially
The common reason for marriage breakup was the either the women getting bored or the man reigning in the spending which she didn't like (remember the women does not work at all)....The arrogance and viciousness of the so-called scorned Chinese women is unbelievable. The things they would say in justifying the excessive spending claiming it was necessary to alleviate boredom and lack of attention. Some claimed it was a form of payment for year of being nice and caring to the husband....She would rather spend her money on luxury goods rather than bills as she regards it as the 'man's duty'.
Women are women everywhere but the difference with PRC chinese women is that in 90% of cases, these women know that the ONLY asset they have is their beauty and youth. The odds are stacked against them to be able to succeed using their brains, brawn, hard work or whatever (except sex and their beauty) - with such toil producing next to nothing.
They are fully aware of this limitation for women in present day PRC and as such they will always parlay their youth and beauty into what they figure is their best bet. Their usual dream is to trade their youth and beauty for money with which they can start their whole life all over again - whether to get married to some local home town guy, or start a business to support themselves and their parents or whatever.
Some will turn to become xiaojies and earn their money the hard way at couple or so hundred RMB a pop - and such activity is fraught with danger - both legally as well as physically - and has its time limitations (errr.... just like Western Women these Chinese gals also do get old) . Lots will do this as they have no other choice (don't know how to do anything else or not beautiful enough etc).
Others, with a bit of knowledge, chats with "sisters", etc. choose to become mistresses, trying to "bleed" their man for as much and for as long as they can. And then, the same thing - going back to re-start their life.
The high rollers and the really good looking and smart ones - are those who will try their damnest to get a Rich guy - Laowai OR Chinese, it doesn't matter - just so long as he's rich - to marry. Trade in their youth for the same end purpose - to accumulate their own asset with which to restart their lives. They realize that their beauty will also fade and their husbands will get tired sooner or later. Or if they hit the jack pot, the guy pops off before he does get tired of her. Otherwise, when the inevitable divorce comes - well its really a very simple case of - OK - now you pay me for services rendered. Actually very logical and perhaps may I say this - actually very fair in their mind. I gave you my youth and beauty and now you pay. Just like if she was doing it at a couple or so hundred a pop - except that its ONE HELLUVA BIG POP - right?
The difference between Laowai and Chinese guys is that Laowais many times do NOT realize this is what its all about (heck - even me, a chinese by descent, I sometimes even also forget!). The Chinese guys knows what this is all about and they are more than willing to trade their money for the gal
s beauty and youth. With both eyes open and taking all the necessary precautions.... and preparations.
Yes PRC gals do expect that the husband will bring in ALL of the bacon - having as little confidence in their own abilities as they do. And if they do agree to go out to work - OMIGAWD - there's no way that they're gonna let the guy get any of that money. You say that "its her duty to conribute" and that is so...... Western thinking. For a Chinese gal - NO WAY, NO WAY AT ALL!! This is where I go off telling you that you are such a white man - hope you don't mind
Se Asia Joe
Guys,
It's called a pre-nuptial agreement. As I believe a fair number of us living in China have been married to western women and divorced we should all have learned a trick or two from the first go around. Just because your new GF/fiancee is Chinese doesn't mean you cannot use a pre-nup to protect your pre-marital assets. Be sure to get it translated into Chinese so there can be no question as to her understanding what she is signing. If you're going to get married in America on a K visa I would suggest springing this on her a short time before departing for the US. If she balks then you should see a serious red flag. You can always blame it on your lawyer. "I'm sorry honey, but my lawyer insists that we both sign this document".
Pre-nups can be written in all sorts of ways, from giving her nothing to a pre-determined amount. They can also be written to expire after so many years of marriage. It's a nice way to get a little peace of mind that your new wife will not turn into a monster the moment she sets foot in North America.
As for me I've been very fortunate to have a Chinese GF who is a low spender. I'm still getting the pre-nup though. As you can never be too cautious.
Loveasiangirls
01-17-08, 17:37
I guess any time a guy marries a much younger girl (in any culture) he should understand the game. Expecially if she has no assets except her looks. This seems obvious to me.
What are divorce laws like in China? I mean, does it make sense to marry her in China (under Chinese laws, if any) instead of North America - assuming you will live in China?
Ragnarok42
01-18-08, 01:37
(And I do not mind spending a little money in China. China has done some good things for myself as well as for a couple of my forebears. My grandfather was a missionary in China, and made profitable investment there. My father was born in China.)
Damn you sound like you have lead an interesting life. I am heading back to BJ at the end of the week, if you are around I would love to buy you a drink.
Cheers
OldAsiaHand
01-18-08, 04:45
Damn you sound like you have lead an interesting life. I am heading back to BJ at the end of the week, if you are around I would love to buy you a drink.
Cheers
I arrive in BJ on Sunday evening for a couple of days. Can I join you guys for a drink?
OAH
SE Asia Joe
01-18-08, 05:42
I arrive in BJ on Sunday evening for a couple of days. Can I join you guys for a drink?
OAH
ONLY for a drink???!! Come clean OAH!
SE
Can I join you guys for a drink?
OAH
Things have gotten so bad, OAH only wants to drink. When will it end?
I took a hooker to my room, she told me she had a headache!
Ragnarok42
01-18-08, 06:04
ONLY for a drink???!! Come clean OAH!
SE
Depends on where we get the drink. Go to the PIg and find some girls for chitty chitty bang bang.
Unfortunately I have had a change in plans and wont be in BJ until Wed at the earliest. Which brothers are around?
NSA Cruzer
01-18-08, 07:55
I guess any time a guy marries a much younger girl (in any culture) he should understand the game. Expecially if she has no assets except her looks. This seems obvious to me.
What are divorce laws like in China? I mean, does it make sense to marry her in China (under Chinese laws, if any) instead of North America - assuming you will live in China?A marriage in China between a foreigner and a Chinese citizen or between two foreigners is considered a "foreign-related marriage". According to Article 147 of the General Principles of the Civil Law of the People's Republic of China, marriage of a Chinese citizen to a foreigner shall be bound by the law of the place where they get married. Therefore, partners contemplating a foreign-related marriage in China must follow the procedures stipulated by Chinese law.
Generally speaking, a North American judgement, in this case lets use United States Judgement of Divorce as an example, is not acknowledged valid in China. The person has to take the judgement/case to a Chinese court (Middle Class Court) where they will examine the case according to Chinese law and then get it validated.
I will use an real case example; US Citizen (husband) married a Chinese national (wife). They also have one young child living in China. After several years marriage living in both China and US, husband files for divorce in US court. Divorce is granted.
Because the child never came to US and thus was not classified as a US citizen, the court had no jurisdiction over the child and child support would need to be handled by Chinese courts.
Therefore, the husband avoided paying any child support purely he was thinking ahead in not bringing the child to the US.
To balance the ledger, the wife can file for divorce in China by getting the US judgement validated by the Middle Court. Upon this, the wife must file a new divorce case and lodge a Parental Support Case.
However, according to Chinese Marriage Law, the parties of the divorce must appear in court. Therefore, for the husband to avoid any child support in China, must never return to China as he can be brought to appear in front of the Judge.
This example is pretty broad and I condensed it.
To answer you question; yes, if you are marrying a much younger women be very careful (no matter what country she is from). Secondly, get married in China, and finally, if you have a child, make sure he/she never becomes a citizen of your country.
Divorce rates in China are on the rise dramatically with both men and women to blame. I could rattle on for ages talking about many cases on divorce, custody, reasons why Chinese men and women are divorcing more frequently...etc! If anybody is interested, please let me know.
Regards,
NSA Cruzer
PS: I apologise for my previous posting on this thread - it was late and I forgot to proof read it!
EDITOR'S NOTE: I would suggest that the author or another Forum Member consider posting a link to this report in the Reports of Distinction thread. Please Click Here (http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/announcement-reportsofdistinction.php?) for more information.
SE Asia Joe
01-18-08, 08:18
Things have gotten so bad, OAH only wants to drink. When will it end?
I took a hooker to my room, she told me she had a headache!
ROFLMAO - I can just picture the scene - Old Santa trying to romance the gal with his usual dancing and Barry Manilow music routine; and all she wanted was Aspirin!
SE Asia
NSA Cruzer
01-18-08, 14:01
Guys,
It's called a pre-nuptial agreement. As I believe a fair number of us living in China have been married to western women and divorced we should all have learned a trick or two from the first go around. Just because your new GF/fiancee is Chinese doesn't mean you cannot use a pre-nup to protect your pre-marital assets. Be sure to get it translated into Chinese so there can be no question as to her understanding what she is signing. If you're going to get married in America on a K visa I would suggest springing this on her a short time before departing for the US. If she balks then you should see a serious red flag. You can always blame it on your lawyer. "I'm sorry honey, but my lawyer insists that we both sign this document".
Pre-nups can be written in all sorts of ways, from giving her nothing to a pre-determined amount. They can also be written to expire after so many years of marriage. It's a nice way to get a little peace of mind that your new wife will not turn into a monster the moment she sets foot in North America.
As for me I've been very fortunate to have a Chinese GF who is a low spender. I'm still getting the pre-nup though. As you can never be too cautious.Absolutely correct Furias,
A pre-nup should be standard operating procedure if marrying a foreign women. Your advice on getting the pre-nup translated is also correct; my advice is to go one-step further and have it ratified by a local court in the country where you intend to marry so you are covered on any language AND legal technicalities.
Should also mention that there is an increase in demand for private investigators researching prospective brides.
Regards,
NSA Cruzer
Tuscan Man
01-19-08, 04:13
Divorce rates in China are on the rise dramatically with both men and women to blame. I could rattle on for ages talking about many cases on divorce, custody, reasons why Chinese men and women are divorcing more frequently...etc! If anybody is interested, please let me know.
NSA Cruzer
[/blue]
I am curious to know your opinion on the reasons why divorce is rising among Chinese men and women.
tm
Clean Gene
01-19-08, 05:35
Damn you sound like you have lead an interesting life. I am heading back to BJ at the end of the week, if you are around I would love to buy you a drink.
Cheers
Thanks for the invite. Every life sounds interesting if it lasts long enough. I used to wish I had the interesting lives which Grandpa and Dad had. But it turns out mine became almost as interesting.
I'm not going to be in Beijing for a few months. (My regular home in China is not Beijing, although I was there a week or two last Sept and again this January.)
I am mad as hell at my Chinese wife for sending money to her relatives (after I said "NO!"). And she is mad as hell at me for not helping a single one of them settle in the States. But I have to play the devoted husband, because my parent's trust has her name on it (as well as that of my American son and myself). My own fault, of course. I behaved irresponsibly with my parents and 1st wife.
Right now I angry, I hate her! Hate her! Hate her! (But I cannot harm her because she is the only mother my poor little half breed child will have.) HELPLESS RAGE!!
Have a good year. Wan shi ru yi.
Red Rock II
01-19-08, 06:38
Clean Gene,
I am sorry for you because you hate her but you can’t leave her. This is the situation that no one wants to get into. I am wondering if you can give some advises to us who are living in the States but may marry some Chinese lady in the future to help us to avoid getting into the boat where you are in. How long have you known her before you marry her? You have married before you met her. You should know about woman. You did not sense out anything about her? Or you just didn’t care at the time when you were with her? Obviously, you were in love and you were serious about the relationship. Otherwise, you would not put her name on your parents’ trust. She surely knows how to hide her true face! It is scary. Is it because you were unfamiliar with the culture so you could not really tell what kind of person she was?
Well, I wish you will get out of this situation soon and be a happy person again!
I am curious to know your opinion on the reasons why divorce is rising among Chinese men and women.
tm
I have taked with over 1000 Chinese women in the past 6 years. I started to visit China in 2004. I would say that 90% of Chinese women told me that they divorced because of cheating , drinking and gambling.
I was told tonight by my Chinese GF here in the states , that many Chinese women don't need the above excuse anymore. They just want out , so they divorce just like we do when we want out.
For some reason , I do ask every divorced women , why she divorced. The about info is what I am hearing. Cheating seems to be #1.
take care and be safe
tle man
I would say that 90% of Chinese women told me that they divorced because of cheating , drinking and gambling.
I was told tonight by my Chinese GF here in the states , that many Chinese women don't need the above excuse anymore. They just want out , so they divorce just like we do when we want out.
I would say that for the most part we do not know or understand why we do what we do, or why we end a relationship with a partner. We rationalize the behavior by looking for faults in the partner.
I think your girlfriend is closer to correct, "they just want out".
NSA Cruzer
01-19-08, 20:04
I am curious to know your opinion on the reasons why divorce is rising among Chinese men and women.
tmDivorce rates across China are soaring. The recent statistics I have seen was in 2006 released by the Ministry of Civil Affairs; where it stated 1.9 million Chinese couples separated, a 7% increase of 128,000 couples than the year before. Chinese bureaus heard 1.29 million divorces while another 622,000 cases were heard in courts. The highest divorce cases were in the provinces of Liaoning, Jiangsu, Shandong, Henan and Sichuan each reporting over 100,000 divorce cases in 2006.
If we compare to 2005; a total of 1.785 million couples divorced, which equates to a divorce rate of 2.73 per thousand. In 2004, the figure was 1.613 million couples. I also want to share this interesting fact; in Shanghai the Civil Affairs Bureau handled 30,745 divorces; this means an average of more than 100 husbands and wives in Shanghai split each day! As you can see from the statistics, the figures are increasing significantly each year and its expected this trend will continue.
So what are the reasons for the increase? Although divorce is traditionally discouraged in China, the last two decades have seen divorce rates soar as women become more independent and divorce procedures are lightened. More mature women are turning to dating agencies, looking for new mates, after their husbands left them for much younger females. On the other hand, more men with high paying jobs find themselves surrounded by younger women.
Furthermore, simplified divorce procedures introduced in October 2003 are also widely regarded as a reason for the high figures. For only 10 yuan a couple who present their own residence booklet, identification cards, marriage certificates, and their written divorce agreements will get their divorce certificates in about 15 minutes. In the past they had to present the recommendations offered by their enterprises or institutions where they were working or by the local residents' committees or villages' committees.
Personality clashes have been cited as the main cause for marriage dissolutions; fewer couples are willing to continue poor-quality marriages. Also, liberal divorce laws have given women a chance to break free from unhappy marriages or marriages that were arranged by their families. Other main reasons are extra-marital affairs, which have become a serious issue in cities like Shanghai and Guangzhou. Research shows that its often the man who is taking advantage of these laws to leave the marriage once he finds himself in a comfortable financial position, for a young lover tucked away somewhere.
Economic disputes arising from factors such as failing businesses and being laid-off by companies also trigged divorces. On another social perspective; the rise in a floating population where people in rural areas move to the cities for higher incomes, thus leading to more diversity among marriage partners. In addition, China's traditional ideas are giving way to new ones, such as internet dating, one-night stands, or quick marriages, thus leading to a new generation of Chinese people pursuing sexual satisfaction and treated marriages less seriously than their parents, which increases the divorce rate.
Unlike the past when people who got divorced would get a debased appraisal, the Chinese society today is more tolerant. Also, there is more emotion showed in China, which is evident in newspapers and magazines devoting column after column to tales of love and heartbreak. Television show "China Style Divorce" was a top rating show as it broadcasted all the tears and tantrums as couples played out their divorce on national television. Chinese authorities believed these shows also had a impact on divorce rates as couples began thinking they could do better.
The dramatic rise in separations goes beyond the introduction of quick divorce decrees; it reflects a deeper change in Chinese society. China's young generation have known nothing but growth and prosperity. They want to enjoy the country's new wealth on their own terms. Unlike their parents, they are not prepared to make sacrifices for party or state. Protecting their private lives is a greater priority.
As many of you know, the social landscape is changing in China; divorce rates may hit 2 million on year just-ended 2007. The old order, with its fixed rules, is fast disappearing, but the new values that will replace it have still to be established.
Regards,
NSA Cruzer
Furthermore, simplified divorce procedures introduced in October 2003 are also widely regarded as a reason for the high figures. For only 10 yuan a couple who present their own residence booklet, identification cards, marriage certificates, and their written divorce agreements will get their divorce certificates in about 15 minutes. In the past they had to present the recommendations offered by their enterprises or institutions where they were working or by the local residents' committees or villages' committees.
Regards,
NSA Cruzerhttp://zonaeuropa.com/20050313_1.htm
With the taking effect of the new marriage law in October 2003, a couple who present their own residence booklet, identification cards, marriage certificates and their written divorce agreements will get their divorce certificates on the spot. While in the past they had to present the recommendations offered by their enterprises or institutions where they were working or by the local residents' committees or villagers' committees, basic community organizations in China.
Let's give credit where credit is do. What other section was plagiarized?
Bill
Traveler1234
01-20-08, 03:23
For some reason , I do ask every divorced women , why she divorced. The about info is what I am hearing. Cheating seems to be #1.
So I guess the locals are also taking advantage of the same pussy everyone is enjoying ;)
According to other reports, Shanghai has the largest contingent of Taiwan businessmen - guess what they're doing when away from home (and estimate 200-300,000 of them in Shanghai alone - another large group in southern China!).
So I guess the locals are also taking advantage of the same pussy everyone is enjoying ;)
According to other reports, Shanghai has the largest contingent of Taiwan businessmen - guess what they're doing when away from home (and estimate 200-300,000 of them in Shanghai alone - another large group in southern China!).
According to maybe 20 women friends that I have in TW , All have told me that TW men are the #1 Cheaters in the world , but they (the women) do the same when husband is gone. But most won't divorce , because he has money.
Many of us guys on ISG are the same (including me) , so we must call a spade a spade.
take care and be safe
tile man
Clean Gene
01-20-08, 08:09
Thank you for the sympathy. But I don't deserve any.
I met my Chinese wife when she was a statistics person at an Ag & Food place. She was straight, loyal and dutiful. I gave her a Swiss Army Knife and a Seiko watch and an F-1 Visa to study and care for my parents in California. She cared for my mother over 14 years. During that time, I married her, gave her a child. (Marriage 10 years after meeting her. She begged me even after being warned of my liking for young ****. And I might add, banging young **** is not a sin but a blessing.) And my mother in her "infinite wisdom" placed her name on the Trust (along with myself and my American son) for "balance".
She is still straight, loyal and dutiful to me. But the duty now extends to her relatives. I object. But she seems to have forgotten the "obey" in "love, cherish, and obey".
Furthermore we do not believe in such frivolous use of "Family Money". (It's the penny pinching Scot in us. My Ex would understand this. This is a problem with cross-cultural marriage. But my Ex was not understanding with my bringing home what she called "THAT DISEASE FROM HELL".)
My personal money (pension and income representing an American company) can of course be spent for my two delights--Young **** and old art.
This is the "long short" of it.
CG
Traveler1234
01-20-08, 13:42
According to maybe 20 women friends that I have in TW , All have told me that TW men are the #1 Cheaters in the world , but they (the women) do the same when husband is gone. But most won't divorce , because he has money.
Yep, they're the ones we call 'freebies' ... LOL.
Neuromancer
01-20-08, 16:41
According to maybe 20 women friends that I have in TW , All have told me that TW men are the #1 Cheaters in the world , but they (the women) do the same when husband is gone. But most won't divorce , because he has money.
Many of us guys on ISG are the same (including me) , so we must call a spade a spade.
take care and be safe
tile manEhh. From my personal experience, most Taiwanese women control the household finances. Man comes home from work, hands over paycheck to wife, etc.
The TW women who DON'T control the money just don't have much skill in manipulating men, hence, why are they willing to provide it for free.
Mock A Bee
01-21-08, 03:05
Thank you for the sympathy. But I don't deserve any.
I met my Chinese wife when she was a statistics person at an Ag & Food place. She was straight, loyal and dutiful. I gave her a Swiss Army Knife and a Seiko watch and an F-1 Visa to study and care for my parents in California. She cared for my mother over 14 years. During that time, I married her, gave her a child. (Marriage 10 years after meeting her. She begged me even after being warned of my liking for young ****. And I might add, banging young **** is not a sin but a blessing.) And my mother in her "infinite wisdom" placed her name on the Trust (along with myself and my American son) for "balance".
She is still straight, loyal and dutiful to me. But the duty now extends to her relatives. I object. But she seems to have forgotten the "obey" in "love, cherish, and obey".
Furthermore we do not believe in such frivolous use of "Family Money". (It's the penny pinching Scot in us. My Ex would understand this. This is a problem with cross-cultural marriage. But my Ex was not understanding with my bringing home what she called "THAT DISEASE FROM HELL".)
My personal money (pension and income representing an American company) can of course be spent for my two delights--Young **** and old art.
This is the "long short" of it.
CG
If your parents put your Chinese wife on the trust, it is their money and they have the right to do so.
You write that she did care for your mom for 14 years, after which, rewarding her for her loyalty and dedication was most likely an additional motive of your mom for putting her on the trust. If she was a trusted care taker and did a good job, she obviously gained the confidence of your mom, and your mom must have liked her. Stuff like that happens all the time.
I know of someone who died 50 years ago who specifically wrote into his will that his Philippine house boy was allowed to live in the house for the rest of his life in exchange for his loyalty in taking care of him.
It sounds like your wife has secured her financial future, which was likely her goal to start with all along.
Good luck!
MAB
SE Asia Joe
01-21-08, 06:51
to:
old asia hand, bill lee, santa, cpexpat, wadman, dan hawaii, abcin la, zhuren, clean gene, tuscan man, bnlee, harmsuploe, loveasiangirls,speer, csun213, red rock ii, cocha monger, tile man, mock a bee, vilberto, eagle star, lex moon, rubber nursey, -
and all those who gave me counsel on my little saga a couple 3 months ago –
a great big thank you!!
i’ve had the privilege of meeting some of you guys personally, and really appreciate how much you guys have been willing to do to put me back on track! i mean, previously i guess i was a bit of hooking snob in never even wanting to consider any cheap “truck driver” type pussy – and you guys set me straight! also, i know i’ve not ever actually thanked you when meeting you - and thus want to take this opportunity to once and for all do so.
just a little up-date. no i never did see her even though we had tentatively agreed to have met during the week intervening x’mas and new year. instead, i spent most of that period in cp!! she has been periodically – and quite regularly – phoning me to tell me that she really misses me, how cold it is back home, how she hasn’t been with anybody else, how lonely she is, how she wishes that she never did what she did – that it was a spur of the moment decision (she was advised by her twin sister who was a full blown and very successful xiao jie at the k-ok she dj-ed at for 3 weeks when i met her. this sister went back home with approx rmb400k, set up a successful wholesale/distribution business, got married and is all set up and it was her who advised her to cut it off right then and there or else it would have dragged on forever until it was too late – and told my gal that she should work for her whilst she sets herself up back home).
no matter that my gal seems to have genuinely regretted what she did – i kept on reminding her – and myself – the chinese saying that basically says “a good horse never eats grass located behind” (turn around and eat grass that was walked previously – and probably pissed and shat(?) upon).
meanwhile, i’ve had basically circus maximus and get myself laid anytime there’s a chance and anywhere i happen to be! to the point that i’m now probably getting hooker burn-out! am also trying to cultivate some gals that i can be sort of “steady” with but definitely never – ever - going to keep. dangle the prospects, taking good care of them financially when and only when i am actually with them, but remembering to not make any hard and fast promises or plans etc. i’ve got a few friends who are doing this quite successfully – having good back-up whilst still out screwing around – and resorting back to more genuine/loving/gfe/familiar arms when they want to – without any long term commitments! they tell me that wham-bam-thank you mam is good, very good, but one also needs relationships and even conversations etc to really have a good mongering existence (besides the old wife and family of course!).
ahhh yes, life is getting better – even if the picking is getting slimmer during this cny period – but hey, everyday brings me new and enjoyable experiences and mistakes made, comparatively, are always so inconsequential these days.
again thanks guys!
se asia joe
Partyguy1078
01-21-08, 09:15
Can someone tell me where I can find the naked/nude/picka girl KTV in Beijing?
Cheers
As one of the folks living in China who nwas married in America before, here is my lesson in life: I had a, what I thought watertight pre-nup. In later years, it was reviewed two times by US lawyers and deemed valid. All assets (real estate) were in my name only, her's wasn't even on the mortgage. After more than 20 years of marriage, we divorced. Her lawyer challenged the pre-nup, based on the claim that she had not received proper and independent legal counsel. (We did the pre-nup with a joint lawyer who was her friend....) Faced with a 5 year lawsuit, in which I would have had to pay her legal costs, I settled for a very substantial amount and moved on.
Moral: A pre-nup is good, but far from the do-all and end-all. I counsel all my male friends to marry anywhere else than in the US, and especially not in California. I counsel all my female friends to do exactly the opposite: Marry in the US, and especially in California.
As recommended by NSA Cruzer, marrying a Chinese in China is probably the best approach.
Guys,
It's called a pre-nuptial agreement. As I believe a fair number of us living in China have been married to western women and divorced we should all have learned a trick or two from the first go around. Just because your new GF/fiancee is Chinese doesn't mean you cannot use a pre-nup to protect your pre-marital assets. Be sure to get it translated into Chinese so there can be no question as to her understanding what she is signing. If you're going to get married in America on a K visa I would suggest springing this on her a short time before departing for the US. If she balks then you should see a serious red flag. You can always blame it on your lawyer. "I'm sorry honey, but my lawyer insists that we both sign this document".
Pre-nups can be written in all sorts of ways, from giving her nothing to a pre-determined amount. They can also be written to expire after so many years of marriage. It's a nice way to get a little peace of mind that your new wife will not turn into a monster the moment she sets foot in North America.
As for me I've been very fortunate to have a Chinese GF who is a low spender. I'm still getting the pre-nup though. As you can never be too cautious.
Mock A Bee
01-22-08, 05:46
As one of the folks living in China who nwas married in America before, here is my lesson in life: I had a, what I thought watertight pre-nup. In later years, it was reviewed two times by US lawyers and deemed valid. All assets (real estate) were in my name only, her's wasn't even on the mortgage. After more than 20 years of marriage, we divorced. Her lawyer challenged the pre-nup, based on the claim that she had not received proper and independent legal counsel. (We did the pre-nup with a joint lawyer who was her friend....) Faced with a 5 year lawsuit, in which I would have had to pay her legal costs, I settled for a very substantial amount and moved on.
Moral: A pre-nup is good, but far from the do-all and end-all. I counsel all my male friends to marry anywhere else than in the US, and especially not in California. I counsel all my female friends to do exactly the opposite: Marry in the US, and especially in California.
As recommended by NSA Cruzer, marrying a Chinese in China is probably the best approach.
I was advised by a lawer who practiced in Washington State (thats USA folks), that he had never seen a pre-nuptial agreement hold water in court.
However, as community property states go, you should check the laws how they are written. I know certain states with community property laws state that anything that was owned prior to marriage is considered separate property and is not subject to community property upon divorce. That is, if it was yours before you got married, it stays yours if you divorce.
This all depends on the rules of what American State you reside in and file your divorce papers.
Always seek proper counsel, and yes, you each need to have separate independent and competent counsel.
MAB
Remember, marraige reduces passion....suddenly you are in bed with a relative! :D
This all depends on the rules of what American State you reside in and file your divorce papers.
MAB
As it was explained to me the hard - and expensive - way, this matter depends on the state (or country) you get married in. We married in one state, divorced in another. We needed briefs and experts from state A to get divorced in state B.
Clean Gene
01-22-08, 10:21
Chinese country girl wife was so naive and oblivious to money for so many years. And is now so conscious of it. Must have been all along.
I had thought it was her Aunt's greedy husband, and her Chinese friends at the Church. But no. You said it. It's her all along. She certainly likes the cash; Now that she has it. (Her 14+ years of self restraint is uncanny.)
And remember, when the divorce comes, it's between you and SHITHEAD!!!
All
To keep the debate balanced for those not so inclined. The plural of spouse is spice ! While many degrade marriage its awfully like enlisting in the army ie: you'd be surprised how many sign up again if they have the choice.
Just another pov on a subject in which I have no authority whatsoever to speak.
Wapec
And remember, when the divorce comes, it's between you and SHITHEAD!!!
As one of the folks living in China who nwas married in America before, here is my lesson in life: I had a, what I thought watertight pre-nup. In later years, it was reviewed two times by US lawyers and deemed valid. All assets (real estate) were in my name only, her's wasn't even on the mortgage. After more than 20 years of marriage, we divorced. Her lawyer challenged the pre-nup, based on the claim that she had not received proper and independent legal counsel. (We did the pre-nup with a joint lawyer who was her friend....) Faced with a 5 year lawsuit, in which I would have had to pay her legal costs, I settled for a very substantial amount and moved on.
Moral: A pre-nup is good, but far from the do-all and end-all. I counsel all my male friends to marry anywhere else than in the US, and especially not in California. I counsel all my female friends to do exactly the opposite: Marry in the US, and especially in California.
As recommended by NSA Cruzer, marrying a Chinese in China is probably the best approach.
They challenge pre-nup here in CA all the time and most of the time you either lose or settle instead of paying high lawyer's fee to keep fighting it. Sad but true.
IMO your situation could have been much worst. (A) you have been caught cheating (B) you gave her "the disease from hell" (C) you probably wont ever be faithful to your wife.
IF she was really in it for the money she would have divorced you a long time ago. As for the sending money to her relatives its quite normal for Chinese people to want to help out their relatives that are not as fortunate as themselves. If i was you I would be happy that it was just money being sent one time. You should put yourself in your wifes shoes for a second and maybe realize that the reason she is still with you aswell is because of your son.
Chinese country girl wife was so naive and oblivious to money for so many years. And is now so conscious of it. Must have been all along.
I had thought it was her Aunt's greedy husband, and her Chinese friends at the Church. But no. You said it. It's her all along. She certainly likes the cash; Now that she has it. (Her 14+ years of self restraint is uncanny.)
Hi,
I am headed back to Beijing and wanted to get some advice about this KTV girl I was with last time.
Story #1: http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/showpost.php?p=673584&postcount=1698
Story #2: http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/showpost.php?p=673588&postcount=1700
Since I have left, she has been SMSing me and emailing. I have been responding telling her I miss her and all. Which i really do. I don't speak a word of Mandrin and she can barely understand English. So I resorted more to email as I could use google translator.
Even after 2 months she writes stuff like: I dream about you all the time, I want to be with you etc etc...
So my question is: How do I play this out? Is she for real, or is this all some story she is making up?
I really like her and would love to spend 2-3 nights with her the week I am there.
Suggestions?
Thanks,
-JM
I don't speak a word of Mandrin and she can barely understand English. So I resorted more to email as I could use google translator.
Even after 2 months she writes stuff like: I dream about you all the time, I want to be with you etc etc...
-JM
You don't need Google translator, you need Santa translator.
Santa's correct translation = She wants you to take her shopping, bring lots and lots of cash! :D
Your stories sound typical of all our past KTV experiences. It's time to move on to someone. But have her couple of more times before moving on. You will see that it's all about the money. If she really has a thing for you, she won't bring up the subject of money. But you should only pay what the going rate is for the services that she will provide and no more. It's your fantasy but don't overpay.
BTW, the girl wanting to say goodbye to you at the airport or bus terminal generally means that they are hoping to get from you whatever RMB you don't need before flying out of the country.
Bill
Hi,
I am headed back to Beijing and wanted to get some advice about this KTV girl I was with last time.
Story #1: http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/showpost.php?p=673584&postcount=1698
Story #2: http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/showpost.php?p=673588&postcount=1700
Since I have left, she has been SMSing me and emailing. I have been responding telling her I miss her and all. Which i really do. I don't speak a word of Mandrin and she can barely understand English. So I resorted more to email as I could use google translator.
Even after 2 months she writes stuff like: I dream about you all the time, I want to be with you etc etc...
So my question is: How do I play this out? Is she for real, or is this all some story she is making up?
I really like her and would love to spend 2-3 nights with her the week I am there.
Suggestions?
Thanks,
-JM
BTW, the girl wanting to say goodbye to you at the airport or bus terminal generally means that they are hoping to get from you whatever RMB you don't need before flying out of the country.
Bill
I cannot agree more, it is normally the case. She is spending extra money to get back home from the airport and is hoping for the balance RMB as taxi fare.
GlenEagle
Suggestions?
I agree 100% with Santa, Bill Lee, and GlenEagle, BUT now that you know the score you can certainly see her again. You had what sounds like a great experience with a beautiful girl for a reasonable price. If you want to see her again just keep in mind that it is going to cost you at least 1000 RMB each visit. You can buy her gifts, take her shopping, ect. but you need to keep in mind that no matter how much you spend on her it will not advance your relationship. No matter how much she says she loves you she is only using you for money/gifts. She most certainly has several steady "boyfriends" who do the same thing, but they are probably Chinese guys that do not have as deep of pockets as you do. When you are in town she will certainly forget the others, but once you leave she will be back to work.
A lot of guys do not have the will power to resist the charms of such a beautiful young thing. If, as you read the messages replying to your situation, you are thinking to yourself "yea, but my girl is not like that" then I suggest you not see her again. Quit cold turkey. Change your mobile number if you cannot resist her text messages. Otherwise you will get ensnared in her web and end up spending a lot of money, and in the end she will still be a KTV girl. You come from different cultures and different backgrounds and when you fall for her you will be the one who gets hurt.
Sammy
If you are emotionally, romatically, or sexually infatuated by her, then you could get yourself into trouble. If your heart and little head are in control, and from reading your post I think they are, then watch out. But if you have control of the situation, then you could have a lot of fun without losing your cash or heart.
And, of course, there are always exceptions. She might be different, but I doubt it. If she's a pretty ktv girl then Sammy is probably correct, she already has several boyfriends.
Looking For A Wife.
If you are seriously looking for a real chinese girlfriend and potential Mrs Jose, I think you should look for a girl who has never had any experience involving the prostitution business. Preferably a girl with a good job, good education and good english skills. Oh, I almost forgot, and nice tits!
Hi,
I am headed back to Beijing and wanted to get some advice about this KTV girl I was with last time.
Story #1: http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/showpost.php?p=673584&postcount=1698
Story #2: http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/showpost.php?p=673588&postcount=1700
Since I have left, she has been SMSing me and emailing. I have been responding telling her I miss her and all. Which i really do. I don't speak a word of Mandrin and she can barely understand English. So I resorted more to email as I could use google translator.
Even after 2 months she writes stuff like: I dream about you all the time, I want to be with you etc etc...
So my question is: How do I play this out? Is she for real, or is this all some story she is making up?
I really like her and would love to spend 2-3 nights with her the week I am there.
Suggestions?
Thanks,
-JM
I am 99% sure that the email's are all bull shit. If I saved all my emails , I could send you at least 1000 of the same bull shit. You need to get your ass over there and try to feel it with with heart and many times that does not help. If it all fails , then stick to mongering. Then you won't have wasted all your money on a con-woman. I wish you luck.
be safe and take care
tile man
OldAsiaHand
01-23-08, 07:13
Suggestions?
"You can take the girl out of the bar (KTV), but you can't take the bar (KTV) out of the girl."
and,
"It's all about money, or it's all about nothing."
One can argue that there are exceptions to every rule, but the odds are very, very heavily stacked against it.
Just my POV.
OAH
SE Asia Joe
01-23-08, 07:35
Hi,
I am headed back to Beijing and wanted to get some advice about this KTV girl I was with last time.
I have been responding telling her I miss her and all. Which i really do.
-JM
Naaaaah guys - Jose's hooked already and she's just reeling him in. And no matter what we say - and never mind even what HE SAYS - he's definitely gonna go back and go bonkers over her.
I been there - and believe most you guys been there too. He's just gotta go for it, go thru the whole thing and he'll find the same shit we've all found in the end.
So Jose - enjoy it full throttle, go thru the whole thing whole heartedly .... and get it all out of your system once and for all. Just make sure you do NOT have access to your funds otuside of China and only spend what you brought into China on your trip. And don't worry - you'll spend every single bit of the funds you'll be bringing in - and have a blast doing it.
SE Asia Joe
I mean when you go to a KTV the 1000 cost is more than for the sex its also covers romance like you're on a third date or so. She was initially being diplomatic when she orginially asked for it. If you don't mind paying 1000 for each and every night then don't worry about it. Now I do know of a few situations when a girl may truly like a guy (SWs do like some of their repeat customers also). He may give her around 2000 and she says that's enough for me and he spends 5 days with her (buys stuff for her for 500 or less during the entire week). Consequently if you spend 3 days/nights and it costs 3000 then she's working if you spend 1500 maybe something else (they do need money). Just be prepared for the possible big shopping spree when she takes you into those expensive malls. Hey those shopping mall moves have happened to me in the States why not China. Lastly, I think for those providers that don't know much if any English they do somehow remember 'I love you' and use it alot.
Hi,
I am headed back to Beijing and wanted to get some advice about this KTV girl I was with last time.
Story #1: http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/showpost.php?p=673584&postcount=1698
Story #2: http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/showpost.php?p=673588&postcount=1700
Since I have left, she has been SMSing me and emailing. I have been responding telling her I miss her and all. Which i really do. I don't speak a word of Mandrin and she can barely understand English. So I resorted more to email as I could use google translator.
Even after 2 months she writes stuff like: I dream about you all the time, I want to be with you etc etc...
So my question is: How do I play this out? Is she for real, or is this all some story she is making up?
I really like her and would love to spend 2-3 nights with her the week I am there.
Suggestions?
Thanks,
-JM
Hi,
Thank you everyone for the insights. I think I had the same hunch and your insights have proven them correct.
So, I am not in love with this girl. She is really nice, beautiful, GFE and at a great price 1000RMB. I don't think I have had such a great experience at a price like this I am going to be seeing her again.
Now that that goals are set, my week will be spent with, 2 nights with her, 1-2 nights at some other KTV and 2 nights at Maggies to find a gem.
I am hoping someone from here will be in town that week (27th Jan) to grab a beer and some Mongolian Bar-b-q.
-JM
Hi,
Thank you everyone for the insights. I think I had the same hunch and your insights have proven them correct.
So, I am not in love with this girl. She is really nice, beautiful, GFE and at a great price 1000RMB. I don't think I have had such a great experience at a price like this I am going to be seeing her again.
You can test her by taking a picture of her. Ask a friend you trust to take her and see what she says to him. Most likely she will say the same thing to him and GFE. Do NOT trust her but you can be nice to her at the same time.
For 1000RMB, in some places, most people don't even make 1000RMB a month.
Superforce99
01-23-08, 16:57
So my question is: How do I play this out? Is she for real, or is this all some story she is making up?
If someone can't communicate with another person (translation machines/software doesn't count), then any meaningful relationship isn't possible and to think otherwise is delusional.
If you take away the talking/communication...then you have money/gifts/fucking/passing awkward spaces of time. What else is there to focus on for the girl? That's pretty "real" to me and I would expect her to want something in return for her time since that's her job now with guys she CAN communicate with...
At least you have a fun, young gal who is/seems to be into you, enjoy it Jose!
J
PS. One time, I was at a restaurant in Shenzhen and for my lunchtime entertainment, I saw a foreigner and a Chinese gal trying to "communicate" via an electronic translator. It was as hilarious as it was pathetic and they both suffered through multiple stretches of awkward silence where they stupidly looked at each other like lobodomy patients or, worse, stared at the ceiling or floor, ha ha....don't be that guy, Jose...
At least you have a fun, young gal who is/seems to be into you, enjoy it Jose!
You bet I am going to enjoy it!!!
-JM
Old Mean Dog
01-23-08, 20:43
If someone can't communicate with another person (translation machines/software doesn't count), then any meaningful relationship isn't possible and to think otherwise is delusional.
Normally, I would agree with you, but I know for a fact it can be done. Anyone who knows my wingman, knows he has been with the same girl for the past 5 months. She doesn't speak more than 6 words of English and he doesn't speak more than 20 words in Chinese, but they are certainly in love.
They have some strange telepathic ability to read each others minds or some shit. Ahhhh, true love has no boundries.......
-CPE
Clean Gene
01-24-08, 00:08
Old adage: "Wash before to protect partner. Wash after to protect yourself."
Make sure SHE washes before. And YOU wash after.
Normally, I would agree with you, but I know for a fact it can be done. Anyone who knows my wingman, knows he has been with the same girl for the past 5 months. She doesn't speak more than 6 words of English and he doesn't speak more than 20 words in Chinese, but they are certainly in love.
They have some strange telepathic ability to read each others minds or some shit. Ahhhh, true love has no boundries.......
-CPE
It's true! I know Expat's wingman well, we are good friends.
Wingman and his girl get along great. They are like two mutes in love.
He doesn't make an effort to learn chinese and she doesn't try to learn english. They say things to each other, but neither of them understand a word. They don't even try to use a dictionary. If they owned an electronic translator, maybe it would cause all kinds if disagreements and the relationship would suffer.
I have discussed with him this situation. They hold hands and smooch, and they have nothing they can argue about. A strange relationship, but so far it works.
I have compared it to a relationship you have with your dog. The dog cannot argue and complain, so you get along just fine.
Superforce99
01-24-08, 07:00
...
I have compared it to a relationship you have with your dog. The dog cannot argue and complain, so you get along just fine.
Ha ha...don't know if you are inferring something about the Wingman's girl with the dog comparison, but, well...a dog is an ANIMAL. I assume this Chinese girl is not an animal...
Anyway, my point is that this girl must be more like an "accessory" rather than a real relationship. He brings her around to where he goes, feeds her, chats with his friends in English while she sits there in a complete lack of understanding, she may chat with her friends in Chinese while he sits there in a complete lack of understanding, they fuck, and she may clean up his apartment on occasion...
...actually, when I think about it, except for the cleaning of the apartment, she pretty much IS the equivalent to an actual pet...ahh, CP, the biggest and best female pet store in the China...
J
PS. Being a dog owner myself, dogs can definately argue and complain (at least in dog speak) if he/she doesn't like something, and things get ugly if you don't comply!
Ha ha...don't know if you are inferring something about the Wingman's girl with the dog comparison, but, well...a dog is an ANIMAL. I assume this Chinese girl is not an animal...
Anyway, my point is that this girl must be more like an "accessory" rather than a real relationship. He brings her around to where he goes, feeds her, chats with his friends in English while she sits there in a complete lack of understanding, she may chat with her friends in Chinese while he sits there in a complete lack of understanding, they fuck, and she may clean up his apartment on occasion...
...actually, when I think about it, except for the cleaning of the apartment, she pretty much IS the equivalent to an actual pet...ahh, CP, the biggest and best female pet store in the China...
J
PS. Being a dog owner myself, dogs can definately argue and complain (at least in dog speak) if he/she doesn't like something, and things get ugly if you don't comply!
Well, I know you are an educated man Johnnykon, and we both know that humans are the product of biological evolution. Therefore, we ARE animals!
Bertrand Russell wrote, "the only difference between a man and a dog is, the dog cannot tell you his parents were poor but honest".
Actually, Wingman's girl is very nice and quite good looking. I wouldn't say she is just an "accessory", they simply get by without a common language.
Old Mean Dog
01-24-08, 08:39
He brings her around to where he goes, feeds her, chats with his friends in English while she sits there in a complete lack of understanding, she may chat with her friends in Chinese while he sits there in a complete lack of understanding, they fuck, and she may clean up his apartment on occasion...
If you ask me, this is the perfect gf/wife!
-CPE
SE Asia Joe
01-24-08, 08:46
Actually, Wingman's girl is very nice and quite good looking. I wouldn't say she is just an "accessory", they simply get by without a common language.
Santa - things THAT bad in CP these days that you gotta lust after wingman's gal? Last time I heard, you were so desperate that you were going around to places that used to be BBS's and going HO.... HO, please.... please, let me have a HO!
SE Asia
RickyMonger
01-24-08, 13:25
Hi guys,
I have been a member for about a month now and finally found the add a report button. Yeh I'm a little older and the eye sight is fading. I have been reading the reports and love some of them but also am now so freightened I have just made a big mistake. MARRIAGE.
I am not new to Asia, 2 years Japan on and off, a few months in Korea, 2 years on and off in HK and Southern China and 1 year in Shanghai. I love Asian gals. Infact I look at western girls now and just can't get to think I want to fuck any of them. (was married to one for 17 years).
I meet a gal in Shanghai in January last year, dated her all year and we were married earlier this month. I took her out of her retail job, supported her and placed her in an EF English school to improve her english. She is now grade 3 so we are communicating somewhat better than a year ago. My Chinese is coming along very slowly.
Had a great ride a year, spent a little bit on cloths for her but mostly support money for food, rent and school. (about 3500RMB per month) Been out country 3 times to stay with family and old friends and loved it, still you have to pay as go if you know what I mean. (Mum, Dad, brother and sisters etc)
Last week she wanted to send quite a large sum of money to her family for Spring Festival seeming we could not go our selves, I rejected the amount as being over the top and suggested a smaller sum. Well all hell broke loose. Hmm I said to her well Ok we can send that to them but what are they going to send to us? Well even more hell broke out from that lovely mouth I married. I know this is a speacial time and she seems to be a very generous girl, sometimes she spends most of her allowance on me and starves for the month. So why the big deal with being a bit sensible with New year gifts? Is this the start of the rot or am I being a scrooge?
Se Asia Joe
I am with you on this. In the vain hope of sending the discourse in another direction, it is my absolute opinion that men and women cannot be friends because the l'il pecker always wants to have its say.
I say give a man enough rope and he'll look for an opportunity to slip the hot dog between her buns. You gotta love buns.
Just my pov.
Wapec
Most of these girls only want to talk about shopping and money, so who wants to listen to their crap anyway.
Wingman has it made. He doesn't have to tell her to "shut the fuck up". And when she asks about money and shopping, he replies with the little chinese he knows, "TingBuDong!"
So maybe he is a wise and happy man.
Ring Sixty
01-25-08, 01:17
So, you took the plunge. You should have known by now living in Asia that long. This is the way it is with the ladys. It is very common for a Chinese women to want to help their parents, brothers or sisters. She was raised with a lot of family values (Family first!) and you know from living there most are very poor.
If you should have children with her.... She will start focusing on the family you started with her and be very dedicated to the family.
Till you have a child she is still going to have the urge to help her parents etc.
The best thing you can do in the future is to sit her down and tell her. We can budget/afford to send them this much a year and no more than that. Because, we have to eat too!
Trust me, this experience of sending money home. Will not be your last. So, you might as well set the ground rules now. Keep the peace.
Good luck with you wife.
Hi guys,
I have been a member for about a month now and finally found the add a report button. Yeh I'm a little older and the eye sight is fading. I have been reading the reports and love some of them but also am now so freightened I have just made a big mistake. MARRIAGE.
I am not new to Asia, 2 years Japan on and off, a few months in Korea, 2 years on and off in HK and Southern China and 1 year in Shanghai. I love Asian gals. Infact I look at western girls now and just can't get to think I want to fuck any of them. (was married to one for 17 years).
I meet a gal in Shanghai in January last year, dated her all year and we were married earlier this month. I took her out of her retail job, supported her and placed her in an EF English school to improve her english. She is now grade 3 so we are communicating somewhat better than a year ago. My Chinese is coming along very slowly.
Had a great ride a year, spent a little bit on cloths for her but mostly support money for food, rent and school. (about 3500RMB per month) Been out country 3 times to stay with family and old friends and loved it, still you have to pay as go if you know what I mean. (Mum, Dad, brother and sisters etc)
Last week she wanted to send quite a large sum of money to her family for Spring Festival seeming we could not go our selves, I rejected the amount as being over the top and suggested a smaller sum. Well all hell broke loose. Hmm I said to her well Ok we can send that to them but what are they going to send to us? Well even more hell broke out from that lovely mouth I married. I know this is a speacial time and she seems to be a very generous girl, sometimes she spends most of her allowance on me and starves for the month. So why the big deal with being a bit sensible with New year gifts? Is this the start of the rot or am I being a scrooge?
OldAsiaHand
01-25-08, 03:05
RickyMonger,
The annual family contribution is part and parcel to being married to a Chinese girl. What is reasonable seems to be relative to how well off you are financially and giving your wife face. Obviously, I must send more than my local Chinese brother-in-law does.
You have not told us how much she asked you to send so how can we tell if you are a scrooge. If you want to discuss it off the forum, PM me.
Just my POV.
OAH
Last week she wanted to send quite a large sum of money to her family for Spring Festival seeming we could not go our selves, I rejected the amount as being over the top and suggested a smaller sum. Well all hell broke loose. Hmm I said to her well Ok we can send that to them but what are they going to send to us? Well even more hell broke out from that lovely mouth I married. I know this is a speacial time and she seems to be a very generous girl, sometimes she spends most of her allowance on me and starves for the month. So why the big deal with being a bit sensible with New year gifts? Is this the start of the rot or am I being a scrooge?
Hi guys,
Last week she wanted to send quite a large sum of money to her family for Spring Festival seeming we could not go our selves, I rejected the amount as being over the top and suggested a smaller sum. Well all hell broke loose. Hmm I said to her well Ok we can send that to them but what are they going to send to us? Well even more hell broke out from that lovely mouth I married. I know this is a speacial time and she seems to be a very generous girl, sometimes she spends most of her allowance on me and starves for the month. So why the big deal with being a bit sensible with New year gifts? Is this the start of the rot or am I being a scrooge?
Ricky
It really depend on your economic and social status and FACE. Im an ABC and married to a gal from Taiwan that i met in grad school here. If you are a gwei lo you could try to play dumb and get away with some, but your wife will lose face. Unless you reveal more about you econ and social status, then then tell me her family's econ and social status... i maybe able to tell you what maybe proper. Oh yeah.. also tell me what you have given to her family in the past.
It looks like you are a newbie. If you have not paid for subscription service you may need to tell me that on the public board. If you have PM privil. please PM me and i will try to help.
As for me, her family has quite a bit more than most. I have given very minimal. And an added plus is that her family is not very traditional and more westernize. They usually are not at home during that time of the year, they usually travel
So why the big deal with being a bit sensible with New year gifts? Is this the start of the rot or am I being a scrooge?
Bnlee2 is completely right. It is mainly about face, and you should accept it. You can be sure that some people in her family certainly did raise an eyebrow when she got married to a Foreigner, and this is probably her way to take revenge or silence the bad mouths.
Levitian
Bnlee2 is completely right. It is mainly about face, and you should accept it. You can be sure that some people in her family certainly did raise an eyebrow when she got married to a Foreigner, and this is probably her way to take revenge or silence the bad mouths.
Levitian
The bad mouth were probably calling her a ho..ho..ho... They still maybe saying it, She will definitely lose a lot of face if nothing is given. RickyM. .. there are ways to get around it..PM me if you can. It is way cheaper than constantly laying out the dough as each festival comes around.
Even for me being an ABC... it raised some eyebrowse... but for me.. i keep quiet and took my revenge on the naysayers...silently but effectively..
Most of these girls only want to talk about shopping and money, so who wants to listen to their crap anyway.
Wingman has it made. He doesn't have to tell her to "shut the fuck up". And when she asks about money and shopping, he replies with the little chinese he knows, "TingBuDong!"
So maybe he is a wise and happy man.
I really get sick of the greedy , needy , whinnie , more money , less sex and bad service. I call them the E words. So I can be just as rude and crude as them.
When I use the TingBuDong words , I always throw in a little English with my Chinese . When I start to hear all the above E words , I always say..........
TingBuFuckingDong !!!!!!!! Meaning ? I hear you , but I don't fucking Know / or understand you. It dose [CodeWord140] (http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord140) them off , but I am also sick of all the about E words.
I use it here at home and China , because they are all the same. Any other E words I forgot about guys? You need to fight fire with fire. Don't put up with the above E words guys , give them back their own medicine.
take care and be safe and try to learn a little Chinese.
tile man
Clean Gene
01-25-08, 08:13
RickyMonger,
You have not told us how much she asked you to send so how can we tell if you are a scrooge.
Just my POV.
OAH
My Chinese wife likes to say, "One can't be poor with rich relatives. One can't be rich with poor relatives."
I've never heard of this kind of "Chinese Culture". In fact I believe it is counter to Chinese Culture. (And I speak from the viewpoint of one who spent a short stretch as a History Scholar at a Chinese university.)
Nevertheless there is an automatic transfer of 750 USD per month from my investment account to their Chinese bank. This way it doesn't hurt so much. (What hurts me are the "special" disbursements.)
CG
RickyMonger
01-25-08, 12:41
Thank's fellow members. Ok there are some questions from you, so here goes.
I am not wealthy in fact only a few months ago i lost most of my assets in a bad business deal, which shocked my wife terribly because she suddenly realized my/her asetts were gone. All that remains is a healthy income.
We have both committed to saving and building a life together, the first goal is to save enough for our own apartment.
My wife's parents are farmers with assets consisting of a couple of 20 year old push bikes and a fading TV. They have a large family 4 daughters and 1 son. All except one have done well, in fact some are considered wealthy, in my eyes. (good businesses, several houses, kids in school overseas etc) So the parents are looked after well by these children. They should really be retired by now but continue to live in the farm house and tend the garden daily. I must say I love going there to be with her family, they are all lovely people and they are a close family. The gift my wife was proposing was about a months wages for me, I was proposing one weeks. My wage is good for China but pretty average for the west, quarterly bonuses pay extremely well.
I was never blind to the gifts at this time of year, but everytime we go there it is the same and I have given well in the past. Probably spent 30,000RMB so far this year on parents, brother and sisters and their children etc. even Aunts and Uncles.
What I need to find is the balance, I want to help with her parents however paying her sisters who are better off than we are hurts a little. Yes I see the face thing happening and I think my wife has built me up to be more than I am willing to be since loosing my assets.
Red Rock II
01-26-08, 00:43
Richy,
Well, this is not a one time deal such as her brother or sister is getting married or something like that. CNY comes every year. You should talk to her and say “Look, what you are asking is that each year, we will need to use our one-month income to buy gifts for your relatives and we have to live through 12 months with 11 months incomes. What we are buying for them are just gifts, not something that they can not live without.”
But, if this is the FIRST time you meet with her family after you married her, you may need to stretch out a little bit. And they sure don’t expect you to be such generous in the future.
In any cases, after spending 30,000 RMB for the year, additional a full-month of an average American’s income (even after all the taxes, pension payments, etc) seems too much for holiday’s gifts.
Last October, my girl friend (the one I am plan to marry)’s brother was getting married. I also know him fairly well. I sent him 1000 USD. This money didn’t mean much to him financially. He just bought a brand new car and owns two apartments in Dalian. But he was very happy about what I did. He is her only sibling and unlikely to get married again in a near future. Hope it helps you to understand how Chinese people value the gifts.
For some women even you sell your house to buy gifts for them, they still think you owe them.
Good luck, my brother.
It is normal in China for employees to be paid for 13 months in a year, hence the source of the "extra month's salary" going to the family. This is very common, and the bonus is paid right before Spring Festival begins. Of course it doesn't help much if you are not working for a Chinese company.
I think you have to stand up and give less if you're having a bad year. I've definately seen this happen with Chinese friends of mine, who were unable to make family loans or gifts because of tight financial circumstances. You may have to say a few extra "bu hao yisi's" but you can probably get your point across. Noboby expects you to give what you do not have.
Give what you're comfortable with and weather the storm.
Old Mean Dog
01-26-08, 04:50
It's funny to realize the huge cultural differences most guys are blindsided with. In the West, we know money is important for QoL, but we do not put such a heavy emphasis on it as many here do.
Because of my business, I have come in contact with many ladies in SZ who are seeking husbands. I always here the same old shit (young, rich and handsome) but two of those can be sacrificed if the man makes enough money for their comfort threshhold.
What is ths threshhold I speak of? Well, overall conseus is a foreigner coming to China for a wife, needs to make at least $70,000 USD a year to be considered acceptable for marriage. It really blows my mind to hear this coming out of the mouth of a woman who makes 2k-5k rmb a month.
Foreigners living in China? Only about 40-50% of the women will consider a long-term relationship with ya and of those, half of them have the belief that your time is short here and you will return, with her, to your home country.
This leaves 20-25% of the gals I see who would consider having a LT relationship with a foreigner here with no immediate goals of leaving.
The rest think foreigners living in China are losers and/or playboys.
Of those 20-25% who would consider a LT with a guy in China, probably half of them want forms of security; Such as the guy owning an apartment here and making big bucks, ability to give her an allowence each week/month, able to take her home and/or travel often (owning a car here is status as well) and many of them expect you to help the family in the form of $$$.
I know many of my Chinese friends say this thinking is limited to the big, modern cities like Shenzhen, but it dumbfounds me how important money is here.
Money is God in places like Shenzhen.
I know a guy who wants to marry a gal and her parents state he must give the family 88,888 RMB to marry her...seems they really need a lot of luck!
-CPE
The rest think foreigners living in China are losers and/or playboys.They are the females that Have dated us.
Money is God in places like Shenzhen.
Nice post EXpat.
A hooker asked me if I would give her a "red package" for CNY. Me? Give out gifts? Who the fuck does she think I am?
Nice post EXpat.
A hooker asked me if I would give her a "red package" for CNY. Me? Give out gifts? Who the fuck does she think I am?
Santa..
you are forgetting who you are. They ask because you are the one and only Santa. Do you have a red envelope for me?
Clean Gene
01-26-08, 10:02
These "small" amounts to a Chinese wife's relatives are not necessarily small. I will give two true examples.
I was able invest perhaps $500/month for nearly 40 years. At 12% compounded, this would amount to roughly $5,000,000. Which would be about right if it weren't for my divorce. (Of course some years investments earned much more or much less. I figure investments in China over the past few years have earned me somewhere between 20% to 40% per year.)
I provided the "seed" money for a Shanghai lady's clothing business not many years ago. It took some effort to get the permits etc. for the building (store, tailoring, cutting, bundling and sewing etc.). Today there are over a dozen stores and workshops. Their family owns magnificent apartments as well as German luxury cars. (And NO. I've never banged this lady.)
CPExpat:
I have run your estimation past some of the ladies working at my Beijing office, and it received a general nod by all.
My sources insist, however, on a fine distinction between native ladies of the various cities, and ladies who moved to those cities to find a job, and/or a guy, or dig for gold in general.
According to the office sources, natives of Beijing or Shanghai can be pretty much compared to their counterpartesses in other world metros. They want a compatible mate. If he’s 80 and a millionaire, it won’t do it – unless he’s Warren Buffet.
Then on to the girls who move to the cities. Each city attracts a certain group. Beijing is known for culture, taste, and a more sedate lifestyle. Shanghai is known for money, kink and more “openness” – kind of at par with HK. Shenzen is known for its lack of natives. It’s a city without history. The girls who move there cannot make it in Beijing or Shanghai. And the girls who can’t make it in either of these, must move to the second tier cities like Quingdao, Ningbo, or whatever.
Again, these are findings issued by natives of Beijing who are known for their haughtiness, and for their unbridled distaste for anything that smacks of min gong.
The “losers or playboys” statement received applause. My sources put all lao wei males in their 20s into the playboy category: No money, sent to China because someone wanted to get rid of them at HQ, students or interns. To be avoided. Older men in their 50’s and up who don’t own or run a business, who live off their retirement funds, or who dabble unsuccessfully in dubious businesses, are quickly put into the “loser” category.
It's funny to realize the huge cultural differences most guys are blindsided with. In the West, we know money is important for QoL, but we do not put such a heavy emphasis on it as many here do.
Because of my business, I have come in contact with many ladies in SZ who are seeking husbands. I always here the same old shit (young, rich and handsome) but two of those can be sacrificed if the man makes enough money for their comfort threshhold.
What is ths threshhold I speak of? Well, overall conseus is a foreigner coming to China for a wife, needs to make at least $70,000 USD a year to be considered acceptable for marriage. It really blows my mind to hear this coming out of the mouth of a woman who makes 2k-5k rmb a month.
Foreigners living in China? Only about 40-50% of the women will consider a long-term relationship with ya and of those, half of them have the belief that your time is short here and you will return, with her, to your home country.
This leaves 20-25% of the gals I see who would consider having a LT relationship with a foreigner here with no immediate goals of leaving.
The rest think foreigners living in China are losers and/or playboys.
Of those 20-25% who would consider a LT with a guy in China, probably half of them want forms of security; Such as the guy owning an apartment here and making big bucks, ability to give her an allowence each week/month, able to take her home and/or travel often (owning a car here is status as well) and many of them expect you to help the family in the form of $$$.
I know many of my Chinese friends say this thinking is limited to the big, modern cities like Shenzhen, but it dumbfounds me how important money is here.
Money is God in places like Shenzhen.
I know a guy who wants to marry a gal and her parents state he must give the family 88,888 RMB to marry her...seems they really need a lot of luck!
-CPE
RickyMonger
01-26-08, 13:26
Thanks for all the info guys, it's great to get such a cross section of informed responses.
Well it's bloody cold and wet here in East Cixi and the wife is in Shanghai, there is a good Sauna about 300 meters down the road or the KTV across the road or massage around the corner. Hmmm where shall I go tonight? I'm sure it will be wet and warm wherever I choose.
I've always said that if one is decent looking enough, some outgoing personality traits, reasonable middle class income level you can get a 7.5 plus asian in one's home country who most likely has good job prospects already (if you put some effort into it). Of course this is easiest in the coastal areas of the U. S. Now the age spread typically is no more than 12 to very very max 15 years. Consequently all this discussion for getting a Chinese woman would be more for guys looking for a minimum 15 plus year spread (40 year old guy looking for a 22 year old 8.5 plus hottie; really few and far between; one living in an area with no or small asian populations, or you don't have time to "socialize"). Consequently, IMHO alot of you guys are selling yourself short thinking you need to deal with all this extra stuff to get a so called nice girl. Of course I'm now ancient and would fall into the loser category based on these "recent posts" if I wanted a regular girl long term companion. Now I have been taken to the cleaners by my former high maintenance (met in the States) professional wife. Nevertheless, having one of these high maintenance ladies from Beijing, Shanghai, or SZ would not ensure NOT being taken to the cleaners if your marraige fell apart later.
CPExpat:
I have run your estimation past some of the ladies working at my Beijing office, and it received a general nod by all.
My sources insist, however, on a fine distinction between native ladies of the various cities, and ladies who moved to those cities to find a job, and/or a guy, or dig for gold in general.
According to the office sources, natives of Beijing or Shanghai can be pretty much compared to their counterpartesses in other world metros. They want a compatible mate. If he’s 80 and a millionaire, it won’t do it – unless he’s Warren Buffet.
Then on to the girls who move to the cities. Each city attracts a certain group. Beijing is known for culture, taste, and a more sedate lifestyle. Shanghai is known for money, kink and more “openness” – kind of at par with HK. Shenzen is known for its lack of natives. It’s a city without history. The girls who move there cannot make it in Beijing or Shanghai. And the girls who can’t make it in either of these, must move to the second tier cities like Quingdao, Ningbo, or whatever.
Again, these are findings issued by natives of Beijing who are known for their haughtiness, and for their unbridled distaste for anything that smacks of min gong.
The “losers or playboys” statement received applause. My sources put all lao wei males in their 20s into the playboy category: No money, sent to China because someone wanted to get rid of them at HQ, students or interns. To be avoided. Older men in their 50’s and up who don’t own or run a business, who live off their retirement funds, or who dabble unsuccessfully in dubious businesses, are quickly put into the “loser” category.
Money is God in places like Shenzhen.
CPEBrother, you never said a truer word.
You guys have an interesting conversation going on that we can all learn from. Especially those of us who go in more for the 'freebies' as as opposed to the pure P4P.
Wonder if each of you independently would post a photo of some ladies? One photo each of a 9 or 9+, one of an 8-9 and one 7-8. It might give all of us a better perspective.
Is that asking a lot of you?
ES
Old Mean Dog
01-26-08, 18:07
You guys have an interesting conversation going on that we can all learn from. Especially those of us who go in more for the 'freebies' as as opposed to the pure P4P.
Wonder if each of you independently would post a photo of some ladies? One photo each of a 9 or 9+, one of an 8-9 and one 7-8. It might give all of us a better perspective.
Is that asking a lot of you?
ES
Haha, you can become my client (for a fee of course) and judge all the photos yourself. Otherwise, I will never post any photos of my clients on ISG. I also refuse to post a photo of any girl on ISG since some asshole member told a freebie I did that I had put her photo here, guess he knew her and she was quite upset, to say the least.
Sorry bro, gonna have to take my word that I see a lot of ladies.
-CPE
Ragnarok42
01-27-08, 15:39
We have heard horror stories. We all have them, mine are real doosies too. Being raided by the police, being framed and set up by the local Dongbei gang. I could go on and on.....
anyone have a good story they want to share? show off? strut in front of us? comeon folks, lets hear some to the happy stories for a change now.
Santa,
I know for a fact that you give out gifts ! You little laoshu you. Most of your gifts are in the form of deposits as making a withdrawal is anathema :-)
Wapec
Nice post EXpat.
A hooker asked me if I would give her a "red package" for CNY. Me? Give out gifts? Who the fuck does she think I am?
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