Medellin Reports

I'm an Asian guy, really aloof or just plain stupid, decent looking, zero personality. Anyway here is my experience in Medellin and Colombia in general:

Been to a bunch of massage places in Medellin. Some girls are pretty cool with me and we have a lot of laughs. Rarely they are all business and when it's like that, I have lost my boner and left without finishing. I had 2 open mouth kiss me, one blew me without a condom (I got a yeast infection after), didn't ask either one to do it. Ate out a few girls, I think one gave me a week long stomach flu. One offered WhatsApp but I don't hang out with girls who don't speak decent English, because it's just too obvious to everyone that I'm a John.

I'm not sure if I'm greeting them properly but when they come out and shake hands I just say hola. When there are multiple guys (usually they're all Colombian) waiting, I've had a few girls straight up walk past me and not even shake my hand. Especially at New Life. Piece of shits. Not sure if they just don't want to deal with a foreigner or what. I mean it's only happened two or three times but it pisses me off.

Every day life I get lots of stares, which is fine. When I talk to people, a lot of girls laugh or smile. I'm not gay but I like making guys laugh, because they usually try to act so tough. I've dated my cleaning lady, a girl at the pharmacy gave me her WhatsApp, went on a few dates with my dental assistant, dated a shoe store lady. They're really open to me here. I'm not at all a man, I'm emotionally and mentally immature, and it's weird girls are open to me.

But, I get zero action from online. Some likes or whatever, but on colombiancupid, tinder, etc almost no one likes me, no one speaks English.

I've never had a problem with crime anywhere in Colombia, and I've been here maybe 4-5 months. Always walk alone, almost always with earbuds in my head. I kinda look like a punk myself though, so maybe they think I'm not worth it.

A few questions:

I find it very embarrassing walking into massage places. Also I find it embarrassing going to the same one, and the same girls are working. Should I feel bad or what?

Can someone link me an updated map of Medellin? How are the clubs here? Can anyone suggest me a trance / rave club? Is there any easy way to find English speaking pros who don't look like hookers?

I've just received a copy of "Hot! Spanish for Guys and Girls" which some kind person recommended on here. I can't remember who it was, but thank you, it's excellent. Small pocket book that includes everything from basic intro chat to hardcore sex discussion.

[QUOTE=WorldTravel69(replyingtoOldParr);1763877]
As for the clubs, I do not think there is anything like what you ask.
When you get there look for some and tell us the facts and only the facts.
Please[/QUOTE]As far as I can gather there is nothing like the old Help club, which was a wonderful, enormous, upmarket, intense disco on the beachfront packed with 1000 or more well-dressed p4 p every night, all of them very available. There's some discos on the list, and Mansion on a very good night can almost be like a tiny version as far as atmosphere and dancing goes, but the world is not full of clubs like Help. Just explore Medellin and see what you find, whether by yourself or with help from the resident "wingmen".

[QUOTE=MrEnternational;1763622]You don't just drink something some random or relative stranger hands you anywhere. That is the quickest and easiest route to being drugged.[/QUOTE]Indeed. When I was drinking in the lowlife areas, malandros would test me out to see how easy it was to get me to accept an open drink. Very insistent. But refuse equally as insistently and smilingly (even through gritted teeth) and you get respect. Or enough of it to enjoy yourself.

[QUOTE=Jan156;1763990]I've just received a copy of "Hot! Spanish for Guys and Girls" which some kind person recommended on here. I can't remember who it was, but thank you, it's excellent. Small pocket book that includes everything from basic intro chat to hardcore sex discussion.[/QUOTE]I bought a copy of the 7 language one years ago. It was out of print and hard to find. It looks like now on amazon some of the new ones are going for over $200, but there are plenty of used ones, some even under $1.

[QUOTE=SavePros321;1763872]I believe Old Parr was being facetious, LOL. In a sense mocking the tone of this thread as of late (newbie questions without RTFF). [/QUOTE]Whether he was or not, I for one am glad that he asked because I did not know. I have been to Medellin 1 time and stayed in the downtown area. One afternoon we went to what I think was Parque Lleras to eat. I was not impressed. Downtown is more my speed and I will be staying there again next week. I do plan on taking a trip to Fase 2 and those other spots just to see and to show my dad and youngest brother who are making their first trip to Colombia.

[QUOTE=MrEnternational;1764006]Whether he was or not, I for one am glad that he asked because I did not know. I have been to Medellin 1 time and stayed in the downtown area. One afternoon we went to what I think was Parque Lleras to eat. I was not impressed. Downtown is more my speed and I will be staying there again next week. I do plan on taking a trip to Fase 2 and those other spots just to see and to show my dad and youngest brother who are making their first trip to Colombia.[/QUOTE]Have not been to Medellin in a while myself. Remember to let me know about your trip. I'll probably be going next year.

[QUOTE=MrEnternational;1764006]Whether he was or not, I for one am glad that he asked because I did not know. I have been to Medellin 1 time and stayed in the downtown area. One afternoon we went to what I think was Parque Lleras to eat. I was not impressed. Downtown is more my speed and I will be staying there again next week. I do plan on taking a trip to Fase 2 and those other spots just to see and to show my dad and youngest brother who are making their first trip to Colombia.[/QUOTE]I know your a seedy guy like me enjoying what El Centro has to offer but on your next trip you should hit Parque Lleras on a Friday or Saturday night around 11 PM to see the spectacle of the place. A young guy, not an old fart like me with game and Spanish speaking skills could do very well there. There are hookers there too but there not cheap.

[QUOTE=Jan156;1763990]As far as I can gather there is nothing like the old Help club, which was a wonderful, enormous, upmarket, intense disco on the beachfront packed with 1000 or more well-dressed p4 p every".[/QUOTE]Upmarket? Maybe to the snoop dog lets who polluted and eventually overran the place til the locals got sick of them and had it shut down. But, in its heyday Help was the standard. No doubt about it.

I know there is alot of info in the board but I am having a difficult time deciding where to stay next for the most action and a safe chica friendly hotel? I am at the Pobaldo Plaza but it doesn't seem that it is a chica friendly area.

My apologies but the information gets confusing.

Don't take this too badly but I'm a little worried about you here. If you're still embarrassed about stepping into a hooker venue after all this time, then I don't really know what to say, maybe there's some personal issues you need to work on first; sounds like you still haven't let go of certain "moral codes" which I can tell you from age and experience are at least 80% hypocritical.

Also, some of the questions you're asking are the kinds someone who has been living in MDE 4-5 months should have some answers for by now. At least you haven't had any issues with crime so you must be doing something right. Although it could also be you are not taking any risks at all. Nothing ventured, nothing gained as the saying goes. Sounds like you haven't reached out to the backpacker or expat circuit, made few if any local friends. Also sounds like you've picked up very little Spanish.

I don't know how much time you have left for your stay so my advice below may be too late but at least here's a few things for you to consider:

I know the "full-immersion" method has a high learning curve at first, and some language-learners never take to it but it sounds like you're not even motivated to learn the basics. Turn on the tv and practice the paisa accent, just repeat back whatever you hear as best you can. Take a class, do something, anything. There's several e-books or normal real-world books that will give you ideas and techniques in accelerated language-learning methods. I found some of that very useful when I had to pick up some Portuguese for my first trips to Rio. You need to figure out a way to boost your language skills in the way that works best for YOUR brain, so start trying different things and see what works best for you.

It's also true, and I'm sorry to break this to you, but yeah, your "Asian-ness" will always mark you out in Lat-Am, especially in a relatively provincial city like MDE, maybe a bit less in more cosmopolitan Bogota. You might never be totally "accepted" but my advice to you is just embrace that as part of your identity. So the paisas will always call you "el chino" (everyone who's Asian is just "chino" in Colombia, they make no distinctions between the different countries). So what? I say embrace it and work it as best you can. I made a friend in Cali, pure gringo from Texas, this guy was liked by everyone pros and non-pros. He had personality in spades, which you admit you don't have, but he embraced his otherness, he even had a business card he gave to girls with "El Gringo" on it and some cute funny phrase. All the chicas loved it and even if there was no real attraction, they were down with hanging out, having fun, etc.

So you want English-speaking pros who don't look like pros. A bit of a contradiction because the more English she speaks to you, well she might not look like a pro but she sure will SOUND like one to the people around you. Again, if only you had been working harder on your Spanish the past 3 months, it wouldn't be so bad.

But my advice is don't obsess over this. All Colombians like to dress sexy. Just tell the hookers to tone it down a bit. You should know how to ask for this by now; in fact, why aren't you taking initiative and figuring out how to say the things you need or want from these chicas? You're PAYING her so it's okay to ask her to do things you know; just ask nicely, even jokingly, and you'll go farther than you think. Viste no muy sexy por favor, un poco discreta, soy timido, gracias!

I think it's hard for you because your personality profile is a bit different than the type that thrives here. Most Colombians below estrata 6 are a very social, fiesta-oriented people who "live in the moment" so guys who are highly social and "go with the flow" thrive here and take to MDE like a fish in water. That might not be your personality but if you take a more proactive approach and figure out some adaptive strategies (yes, fake it till you make it) you can still get something out of your extended stay down there. But yeah, success is never going to just drop in your lap unfortunately; like I said some guys come down here and they take to the scene like a fish to water but you're going to have to try lots of different things, really think about what will work best for you, and occasionally run into walls or frustration. Good luck!

[QUOTE=Dudeman69;1763945]I'm an Asian guy, really aloof or just plain stupid, decent looking, zero personality. Anyway here is my experience in Medellin and Colombia in general:

Can someone link me an updated map of Medellin? How are the clubs here? Can anyone suggest me a trance / rave club? Is there any easy way to find English speaking pros who don't look like hookers?[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=RicardoTorres;1763159]Talking to yourself again Jake?[/QUOTE]If your implying that I have two accounts and I'm plugging myself your mistaken, there's no need because guys are into the girlfriend service and are enthusiastically talking about it here, or if your implying I'm writing and nobodies listening then you obviously haven't been to my place and seen the traffic I have these days! I had a couple of nice guys that rented here but also kept their place at the Charley and La Parc Hotels this weekend and liked both girls so much they invited them both back for their second night to have a true girlfriend experience full weekend. My place starts to fill again this week on Wednesday and builds up through the 12th, so the full Labor Day week.

Thanks,

Jake.

For anyone on the ground. What is happening in terms of chicas price requests? Are they hiking their ask as the peso weakens? Are the casas pretty much the same rates?

For the request, guys, please don't be gloating about how much your $$ are buying now, how cheap a steak is or a night out drinking. These chicas are not stupid (at least some of them).

Is safe and nice- and more "down to earth".

[QUOTE=IamLookin;1764334]I know there is alot of info in the board but I am having a difficult time deciding where to stay next for the most action and a safe chica friendly hotel? I am at the Pobaldo Plaza but it doesn't seem that it is a chica friendly area.

My apologies but the information gets confusing.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Phunluv;1764344]It's also true, and I'm sorry to break this to you, but yeah, your "Asian-ness" will always mark you out in Lat-Am, especially in a relatively provincial city like MDE, maybe a bit less in more cosmopolitan Bogota. You might never be totally "accepted" but my advice to you is just embrace that as part of your identity. So the paisas will always call you "el chino" (everyone who's Asian is just "chino" in Colombia, they make no distinctions between the different countries). So what? I say embrace it and work it as best you can. [/QUOTE]He can really work being an Asian to his advantage with the ladies in Medellin. On my last trip I was with somebody from Asia and everyone was fascinated with him as they had never seen an Asian person "in person", he was even asked out on dates by some of the girls he met.

[QUOTE=PapiQueRico;1764411]For anyone on the ground. What is happening in terms of chicas price requests? Are they hiking their ask as the peso weakens? Are the casas pretty much the same rates?

For the request, guys, please don't be gloating about how much your $$ are buying now, how cheap a steak is or a night out drinking. These chicas are not stupid (at least some of them).[/QUOTE]When I am home in the USA neither me nor my bill collectors give a shit about Colombian, Dominican or Philippine pesos, Thai Baht, Brazilian Reais, or Peruvian Soles. So why would a hooker in a country that does not use dollars think about what is going on with the USD? They pay their bills and buy their food in COP. They have never been concerned with the exchange rate. That does not affect them. That affects people exchanging currency. Inflation due to the rising cost of imports is a different matter.