Medellin Reports

[QUOTE=KillArmy;1857139]Hello everyone,

First of all: this is not a typical post in here I would say. Sorry for it to be quite long too.

For the last 2 or 3 years; I am basically looking for a girlfriend to stay with...[/QUOTE]Interesting story. Thanks for sharing.

Perhaps you are over thinking it? (Easy, I know, when you get hooked on someone.).

A highly simplified version of your story could be:

1. Girl meets interesting boy.

2. Girl wants to learn more, and so gives him lots of encouragement.

3. Girl decides he's nice, but not for her, and so gives him a lot of discouragement.

The details of her positive, then negative signals don't really matter, and it may be wasted energy to analyze them.

My own story was a bit different. I met my chica, was similarly starstruck, then returned to spend several more time with her. She was nice and fun to party with, but it was clear that she was looking for money, so I just lost my interest. She sensed that and didn't try to keep it going afterwards.

[QUOTE=KillArmy;1857139]Hello everyone,

First of all: this is not a typical post in here I would say. Sorry for it to be quite long too.

For the last 2 or 3 years; I am basically looking for a girlfriend to stay with. My game is quite OK and I am never shy to go to talk to any woman.

But I am looking for something really specific: a girl, educated, that does not want me to be her sugardaddy all the time, with a skinny top model body.

Sex just for sex doesn't interest me so much any more unless new experiences.

I am 32 y old; super tall; OK looking and European. My first language is French but I speak quite well Spanish. I am living in Medellin for 2 months.

Just came back yesterday from 5 really crazy days. I must say. I really hate myself now, but I guess it makes me feel temporarily better to write about it.

The girl.

5/6 weeks ago, I met this girl in a Parque LLeras club (el deck), had her whatsapp really easily with funny lines like "you are the girl of my life, I want to meet you, blabla"....[/QUOTE]I hate to say this but anywhere were there are too many sex tourist girls won't take you seriously in relationship unless you show them you are there to live and not for 2 weeks and leave. And what did you mean with * ? And don't forget some girls ain't worth to be in relationship it is just life they just want to be banged by different guys they don't want to be saved. And Parque Lleras is full of pros if you want to meet cool girls go to eafit. Rule of advice every where there is money $$ there is prostitution.

Hmmmm. Spending time, money, and energy taking another man's girlfriend seems like the height of self loathing: a metaphor for alpha fucks and beta bucks. Best case scenario: you take her on the trip, she is on her best behavior, she gives you the best sex of her life, and she declares her love for you. Congratulations, you are human **** detector, having determined that she is willing to vine swing to the Bigger, Better Deal. Like the Parisian tart who had a boyfriend in the French Army in 1940, upgraded to German soldier in 1943, and was the war bride of an American officer in 1946, only to be divorced and safely ensconced in the suburbs of Scarsdale, New York, by 1951. (Think of the mother of the Leonardo deCaprio character in 'Catch Me If You Can. '.

I hope this experience has opened your eyes. Don't take your wife on vacation. Don't take your girlfriend on vacation, unless she helps pay for it. And you certainly don't take a "potential" girlfriend or someone else's girlfriend on vacation. A trip to Manizales is cool. But there are chicas there, too, not need to bring one. Why take sand to the beach? Why take coals to Newcastle? Why fly lobbyists to Washington?

Like Maslow's hierarchy of human needs, the female corollary is a constant need for Protection / Provision / Entertainment / Validation. When she started bringing up potential conflicts to leaving in the first place, she was giving you a "shit test" (as in "How much shit will this guy put up with? Have I bent him to my will, yet? You passed her shit test by wanting the vacation more than she did, she got to enjoy some "drama" (getting you to beg), and she was not committed to it from the start. That was the time to say, "ok," we can hang out while I am in town, and if she started getting unreliable, you would have still been free to have fun with her local competition. By not taking her on the vacation, she would have learned to value your availability, and you would have deflected her pent up demand for Provision / Attention / Validation back to her boyfriend. What would have been the next step? You take them both on vacation, and spend your nights in the bed room next door listening to them cavorting at your expense?

Women rarely act better on vacation than they do at home. On a vacation that you are paying for, provision and protection are already assumed. The fact that you have chosen them for the vacation will. Temporarily - sate their need for validation. However, when women are not sufficiently entertained, they will gladly accept the substitute of made up conflict. In other words when the "soap opera" of their own lives starts to bore them, they create things to be upset about. Why do you think we call it "drama?

They will ruin a perfectly good vacation if they get bored or if you focus on enjoying the vacation instead of using it as a platform to bolster their self-esteem. They will start with pouting, emotionally withdrawing to see if you focus on the vacation rather than on the subtle cues she is sending you that she wants more attention. When you don't, they will sabotage the vacation, first by criticizing and nitpicking more and more details. ("Aspen is too cold. This beach isn't sandy enough. Rio de Janiero is too hot. The local women are all wearing slutty string bikinis. Don't look at them. You only gave me $500 to go shopping with. The bed is too hard. My co-worker's boyfriend took her to Mount Expensive. Why didn't you take me to Mount Expensive? The humidity of San Tropez is bad for my hair. ".

Like the true princess in the fairy tale, you will find out that she CAN detect if someone has put three peas under the bed of 26 mattresses she slept on.

Women will ruin perfectly good vacations if they get bored. They can afford to. To you, that vacation ruined by her impossible-to-meet standards (which is actually her bottomless pit of need for entertainment / validation) represents vacation days you will not get back from your employer, the overtime hours you put over some weekends, the little sacrifices you made to save the extra money to pay for the vacation while meeting her everyday P / P / E / V needs. To her, it was just an opportunity to run you through a battery of shit tests. They do this, because you can't do anything about it. You are trying to salvage a vacation she has no investment in. I have seen women on vacation turn into emotional terrorists, creating psychodrama as that get their men locked up in jail (on domestic violence charges or orchestrating a fist fight with one of the locals), setting off financial bombs ("honey, I took all our savings and lost it in the casino".), or completely humiliating their men in public.

Imagine being the pilot of a jet airliner. In the cockpit, is the pilot, the man who just wanted clear skies and low cloud cover as he navigates his way through this flight. In the passenger section, are not passengers, but all the man's work and social relationships, his credit record, and the rest of his 'baggage. ' The bored and slightly suicidal wife or girlfriend is like a terrorist who bursts into the cockpit and will wrestle the pilot for control of the plane / vacation. The flight / vacation is too smooth and lacks excitement, so she will remedy that by trying to crash the vacation into a mountain. Not because she is trying to make a political point. But because she is bored and the pilot is not paying enough attention to her.

If you have gotten this far in a relationship, to the point that you will take her on vacations, she already determined she has "gotten" you, that you care. Women appreciate men that they have acquired easily the way that children appreciate toys that their parents replace every time they break them for the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time. What does she really appreciate? The guy that is still out of reach. She figures you are a broken plow horse and not a wild stallion, so why not see how far the taming process goes? What are you going to do? Hit the "ejection seat" midway through the vacation, check out of the hotel, and go your own way?

99% of men will not do that, because they think they have so much to lose. "I can't just pay the hotel bill and leave her with her credit card, passport, and plane ticket so she can go back home while I go and spend the rest of my time with the local women who are younger, hotter, and less bitchy than my girlfriend. I just can't! I have too much to lose back home. I've invested* too much into the relationship. " said every blue pill man who came back from vacation tired, frustrated, alienated, broke, and with blue balls.

Most men have high expectations for the vacation. They think that a new environment, a new adventure is going to make her soooo romantic. It is just the opposite for women. Whatever endorphin thrill she experienced about the vacation came when she saw the charges for airfare and lodging get swiped onto your credit card and tapered off 15 minutes after she bragged about the vacation plans to her friends. That occurred days or weeks before you went to the airport, and women are programmed to ask "What have you done for me. Lately?" and by lately, for some women, emotionally, they have the 30 second emotional memory span of a goldfish. When goldfish are hungry or scared for 30 seconds, they believe that they have been hungry or scared all their lives.

This is why I argue that you are better off being a monger and having many "honeymoons. " Go abroad, meet exotic, beautiful women, be nice to each other, enjoy those wonderful endorphins at the peak of their tingly freshness, knowing you have gotten 75% of the best parts of any relationship with a woman in 5% of the time and for a fraction of the cost. Now, THAT is an investment with a high rate of return! Experience time with a woman that has nothing to gain by creating "drama" because you aren't the pilot of big, slow jet airliner that is loaded with all your baggage. You came in a fighter jet and your cockpit comes equipped with the handle to an ejection seat. And guess what? You aren't sitting in the ejection seat. She is!

Once she cut you off from her competition, she had you at her mercy. To have her cut you off from girlfriend sex to hand jobs. That was her seeing how much she had "broken you. ".

Imagine if you had said, after a second night of hand jobs, that you saw this wasn't working out and you heading back to MDE or checking into another room in the hotel (to cavort with the local talent). She would have changed her tune pretty quick. You are not around all the time, and she could not wait until you were heading back home to experiment with her local guy? And she had to tell you she was carrying a torch for him? Why? To humiliate you, is why.

Women only have power over thirsty men. She took you away to the waterfall (MDE), created a temporary "pussy desert," and then spent the rest of the week taunting and teasing you with "mirages" of an oasis and dangling a canteen of water while you crawled in the sand.

Chicas are on their best behavior when they have something to lose. Sure, the idea of trip seems like a great idea, but it never works out, or if it does, it has an expiration date of 72 hours.

* We can have a discussion at some other time about how a blue pill man's "investment" in a relationship is such a poor one.

[QUOTE=KillArmy;1857139]Hello everyone,

.[/QUOTE]Hey buddy. This post makes my heart bleed for you! Keep your head up. This is what they do.

Paisa are Jedi Level 100 heart Manipluators. Anyone that has lived in Medellin for more then a month has had this happen to them.

I'm not here to beat you up or give you examples of what to do and what not to do. ALl I can tell you is to remember. Remember all the pain it caused and to learn from the good and bad. It.

S brave of you to share on here I know. We might be a "mongers" board but we are also Humans. Good luck to you. PM me if you like. I actualy know some more "real" girls like real real ones. It can happen. You just need to make actual friends with colombian locals and you will get into the social circles.

[QUOTE=IguanaSix;1857206] [/QUOTE]A lot of wisdom there Iguana. Me, I like to keep things simple.

First. Doubt I would go on vacation with a girl I am just meeting, especially when there's problems at the start.

Second. I don't do relationships. The moment she says no more sex, my vacation is over and I'm out of there.

Third. She sensed weakness and neediness in him, exploited it and made him her Man *.

Hope he learns from it. It was a cheap lesson and if he learns from it, it was worth it.

But most guys keep making the same mistakes.

Thanks for all the nice answers guys. I have been sharing my story in another famous forum as well, and I feel much better reading your guys glad I made this post.

I am obviously still quite a bit crazy about the girl but I decided to not write her anything for 4/5 days then write her something like 'I did want you to have the time to clear her head, put her ideas back in place* which was what she seemed to be looking for, even though mostly about this Colombian guy.

Maybe it can goes nice from there but if not. I am already more than motivated to be back in the game.

And as I wrote, it's quite possible that we have a 'sex-friendship' at some point, going to Swingers clubs etc, which is something I always wanted to experience. We will see, I guess it's unlikely though.

Will answer each of you:

PaulPassem: Yes, I over thought and got completely over-emotional about things. I really like how you summarize things and it's probably true. I don't know if the Negative signals would have come at all if I didn't have the bad luck to be in competition with a local guy without knowing it. It's from when she realized how much she needed him etc. That things started to go down.

I am glad for you that you realized about that your relation was too much only about money. There is way too much of things like that in here, especially with young girls with kids. I'd hate to fall in love into something like that.

Curnsop: Actually, I do live here since late January, until mid June. I work with Internet so I can always tell the chicas that I am potentially here for some time. But I don't have a VISA so I can probably only stay here 6 months in total during the year, which sucks.

As for the * word, it's just that I thought she was really a ***** to have had all what we had while she was also with another guy. OK, we were not yet in a relation and OK she is quite free regarding sex but still. Hard to take, especially with all he good signals back then. I tend to over-idealize women though I know a lot of them are just like us. And I should not be disrespectful to girls like that though.

Then. Man, what you wrote about EAFIT really interests me. I live quite close to the place, I am not really shy, even day time but. What can I do there? Just try to talk to some random girls? Can you be more specific please?

Iguana Six: I really appreciated your long answer but I think there is 2/3 things that you maybe have misunderstood. English isn't my first language so it might not help.

She was never the girlfriend of me, nor the Colombian guy, since I met her. Just, maybe, the start of a new relation. But unfortunately for me, it seems that while we were traveling, she realized how she wanted that guy. And how, disregarding her idea that she doesn't want to be in couple, want to have a serious relation with him.

As for this trip, I would tend to agree with you, it was maybe a bad idea or too early. But it was also an unique opportunity (she has like twice 1 week vacation a year) and I thought 'after such an experience, we can only fall in love'. She actually fell in love as well but not in the right direction.

As for the money, she actually would always insist always to pay everything on her own. Didn't want to have the impression to own me anything I guess. But to me, it was wonderful and even more showing it could be the start of a sane relation. I love to take care of my girl but. When I want it, not when I feel obligated.

I think we still had pretty good vacation, she has a lot of character but she thanked me many time about these days in the last hours we were together, showing how nice it was. She is still quite young and basically wouldn't imagine doing a bit of adventure like we did without a kind 'of guide'. Which I was.

All that said, I enjoy a lot the last paragraphs of your answer. Indeed, when she started to go about this other guy, I didn't do anything like you did, even though I was thinking to do something like you wrote. I didn't because I was too afraid to lose the little I still had, preferring to enjoy the present moment instead of taking a bit of risks and eventually get rewarded for it.

But why women, even without really realizing it, does want to humiliate 'thirsty' mans?

You make a lot of sense anyway.

Blue change: Thanks for the nice words man. Yes, we need to learn from our mistakes but I hate the impression that I will never be able to create something with a *dream girl*. This is one of the biggest reason, if not the biggest, why I get unstable and a bit out of morale in the last 6/7 years of my life.

Actually. Our last night, we went to a bar and had some *wow* conversations where she would tell me all about the other guy, etc. Before that. I actually cried in her hands telling her that I hated the fact that I seem to never be able to be with a girl I really like, while most girls I don't care about probably wouldn't mind more with me. Story of my life.

Heard quite a few times now about the manipulator-style of the local girls, I will definitely be more careful.

I decided to share this story here because of the *swingers aspect* which I would love (if a real serious relation is not possible) with her but indeed, this is not a typical monger post.

Last but not least, yes, getting into local social circles is definitely what I need. I so much agree with you. And will PM you straight away; sounds amazing if we can meet and at the same time, I can maybe meet some new girls / local people.

TellAll: There were not any problems between us before we went to vacations. Just that she was not sure about getting some money from her father. I wouldn't have gone if I had knew before about the other guy though.

She never said 'no more sex' in some sense. Thing is only the first night we had full sex. Then, once a day, huge masturbation / handjob sessions. It's ultra rare that a woman is able to make me cum and she did. It was amazing orgasms for me, thus well, I was never really fucked about the situation. I would have gone crazy without this, and, indeed, probably left.

Then, yeah, you are right about the weakness / neediness she felt in me. Not sure why a girl would want to make you her '*****' because of this but. Very wise words from another post: 'Make sure the girl always has something to lose'.

I hope this will make me grow but yeah, I might keep making the same mistakes. I am too easily passionate.

Guys. Thanks a lot for your thoughts and advices. So very appreciated.

[QUOTE=KillArmy;1857139]Hello everyone,

First of all: this is not a typical post in here I would say. Sorry for it to be quite long too..

Cheers guys.[/QUOTE]Thanks for sharing. I like your story. I feel your pain too. It seems you are infatuated with the impossible girl. She will definitely make your life miserable and if that is what you want, that is what you are going to get, misery.

A simple response to you post, is that you seemed too needy and that is not attractive at all. Your neediness and desires for a relationship have destroyed the initial passion and great sex you were having with the girl. Have you kept the relationship.

Off the table, that may have worked on your favor, but you know now what happened, the flame is gone now. Have you thought about not being such a nice guy with this girl. If I were you, I would move on, and would look at this as a learning.

Opportunity. Did you learn anything? And good luck.

So, I just read KillArmy's story and some of the responses.

First of all, welcome to Colombia, LOL, you've just completed Colombian Women 101.

You sound like a sincere guy that's looking for something serious, you don't just want to do the regular mongering stuff anymore.

Problem is most Colombian women are bat-shit crazy! So don't take it personal, there is actually nothing unique about your story.

My first advice is if you're looking for something serious try picking up a girl somewhere else, not the Lleras party scene. Try daytime pickups at the park or a regular looking girl at a middle-class mall. Don't go after the hotties.

My second advice: while Iguana's breakdown goes a bit too far, it's true that vacations are more often a problem than not.

In theory, they always sound like a good idea. That's what our American culture trains us: vacations are romantic, they are things that couples do to be a couple.

Problem is it rarely works if you just met the girl. Many years ago, I had a similar experience with a girl I brought with me to Cartagena, that I thought I got along well with. But I didn't really know her for long and it didn't work out at all. I ended up sneaking out at night to get my monger groove on but of course she must have suspected something and that probably made the situation worse. There was definitely self-created drama as Iguana points out.

So the marketers and travel and entertainment industries paint vacation a certain way. But reality is vacation is not something people do regularly, and even less in Colombia, and that goes even for middle-class Colombians like this chica you met.

If you're serious about building a relationship, instead of vacation, do the normal boring everyday stuff that real relationships are about. Hang out with her, meet her friends and family. Take her out on dates to the park, the movies, etc.

Also, instead of going all out, you can do a brief vacation. Do a couple of day-trips first. Then do an overnight at a finca nearby, say up near Rio Negro. Most middle-class Colombians go out to a finca on the weekends so it can even be a group thing with friends.

Once you've invested 6-12 months of real world stuff, then you can go into fantasy mode and take her on a vacation. Then it will actually mean something.

Finally: I think your problem is you come off a bit desperate and needy, it even seeps through your report. My advice is cool off with some meaningless sex; do a type of mongering that you've never done before, something that will stretch your skills, whether it's street girls or casas or after hours spots. Just get laid a bunch of times and stop worrying about finding true love. Most men are unhappy in their marriages and relationships, so don't idealize or romanticize the situation. There are many ways to solve your problem but it won't guarantee happiness or a perfect life; being with a woman, even a good one, is always a challenge.

Most of the time I wish I was 20 years younger, but your story reminds me why there are advantages to being middle-aged.

Here are some things you need to learn if you don't want to keep having the same problems.

When it comes to money there are 3 basic types of women. Type 1: expects you to pay for everything, will ask for gifts or spending money. This type will happily have sex with you, even a relationship, but the most important thing will always be the money.

Type 2: will never let you pay, always pays her share. There is no chance of a relationship with her. By always paying, she is insisting on her independence.

Type 3: will offer to pay, but will allow you to pay. She won't ask for gifts or for extra money, she won't ask for vacations or other things which require you to spend money. This girl is looking for a relationship, something real based on emotional support instead of financial support.

Your mistake, you expected a type 3 relationship with a type 2 girl. Most people here do the same thing with a type 1 girl.

Probably, especially since she mentioned experimenting with other men, women couples, etc. , she saw you as a flavor to try. She wanted to have sex with a really tall European. Probably you could have had a great, sex-filled vacation with her, and occasional sex after, if you had understood the situation. She wanted sex, just sex. She didn't want "te amo" and "sólo para ti", just hot, sweaty, weak in the knees, mind blowing sex. As soon as you went past the "have sex / have fun" line, she shut you down.

Maybe she has a relationship with the Colombian and maybe he's just a fuck buddy, but there was never a chance for a relationship with you.

Until you learn to separate sex and love, this cycle will repeat.

As far as swinging goes, at this point it would be a complete disaster for you, especially with this girl (not that she would ever do that with you).

Swinging is a very special type of relationship. As a single male, your options are very limited, you need a, preferably bisexual, partner. Ideally, the partner should be a real partner, a long time girlfriend or wife. But it requires some special qualities to work. If either person has self-esteem issues, or jealousy issues, it will end badly. Thinking of watching your girl with another woman, while you're having your way with both seems great, until you realize the other woman gives her better orgasms than you. Throw another man in and it gets worse. Add jealousy to that. Disaster.

It is possible to swing with a fuck buddy. A fuck buddy is a friend. Someone you can hang out and talk with, someone you can have sex with, but someone you never want anything more from. Someone you can go to a club with, and you both end up going home with different people, then get together and compare experiences.

A fuck buddy is a good option for swingers clubs, because the sex is not tied to the relationship. So you can be having a great time with some woman while her husband is next to you with your friend.

But before you can think about that you need to get your mind right. Sex and love are completely separate. The only difference between sex and masturbation is who handles the cleanup.

Love. Do you love your parents? You probably don't have any strong desire to have sex with them. If you're looking for love, forget about the sex. When it happens, great. Enjoy it, but don't assume someone loves you, or you love them, because you had sex. If you're upset because the girl stopped having sex with you, you didn't love her, because you were putting your desires over her desires.

Learn the signs. If a woman wants more than just sex, she will show you. She'll be affectionate outside of sex. She will let you buy her dinner and take on the role of provider. She will defer to you, allowing you to make the decisions. If after having sex a few times, the girl isn't doing these 3 things, it's time to either enjoy the sex and forget about the relationship, or time to move on.

Good luck.

Hello Gentlemen,

New to this part of the forum. I have extensive reviews and stories over in the Puerto Plata DR section, but have never ventured over to Colombia.

I am thinking about my first trip here at the end of May or June, however I have a few questions.

First off this would be my first trip to Medellin or Colombia for that matter, I am a vet in the DR with an uncountable trips under my belt. When I go to the DR I am looking for relaxation,
and a very chill environment. That is why I usually go to Sosua for the first day or two, then wind up going to Black Beards for about 5. That combo works for me.
When I land I party, HARD, then after two days of that I am ready for the vacation to start.

All that being said, I have done some research about the Mansion here in Medellin, which to my understanding is the Hotel Medellin Plaza. I am curious if any of you fine gentlemen have ever.
Been to Blackbeards and the mansion, are they similar? Is one better than the other, could you give me any info on it in regards to comparisons?
Also me being a young guy who takes care of himself, I have gotten GFE with every single girl I have had contact with in Blackbeards (not so much in Sosua).

(FULL DISCLOSURE ON THAT STATEMENT)*it could possibly be because my Spanish is passable and I sweet talk them to death at Blackbeards so by the time they get to my room they want to rip off my clothes.
This strategy also comes with some obvious drawbacks, but hell, I have fun, even with some of the drama it brings. Anyway back the questions.

Are Colombian women more or less GFE'why than the DR?
I hate to ask such open questions, but some of the posts I have seen talking about these subjects are from 08 and honestly the DR has changed DRAMATICALLY since.
Then so I just want to make sure any info I have is up to date before I book the trip.

Thanks for any\all your help guys.

Thanks Jj. This is the best report that I have read from you. I am glad that you wrote it before me because now I do not have to. I just want to add a couple of things.

1. With women (and men) it is cop and blow. Here today and gone tomorrow. Maybe come back for a spell and leave again. Maybe stay around for years until a better deal comes along. Enjoy the person while they are around.

2. Love yourself. Don't depend on someone else to love you. That is stupid. You can't control other people and you will never break your own heart.

3. Most of the time when I meet women they ask what I am looking for. The truth is that I am not looking for a damn thing. I am willing to let whatever happens happen. Guys ask how to be sure to score with non-pros. There is no way to be sure.

I was in the airport in Bogota last night on my way to Lima when I sent a message to a chick I have chatted to on and off since right before New Years. I told her I was here and she said she would come up to the airport to meet me. We had a drink at a bar. I asked her how much her taxi was to come and she said 25 k because she lives in the north. That was just about the change from the drinks so I gave it to her and told her I would pay for one way. She said no and gave me the money back. I am trying to tell her goodbye so I can go get on my flight and she said no. She wants us to spend the night together. Shit. Peru had to fucking wait. I did not expect anything like that. I was just letting whatever happens happen. Now I am back at the airport waiting to go to Lima again.

My man was out looking for his dream and when it did not end up how he pictured it he gets his heart broken. We see the same thing every damn day on ISG. Guy goes to whatever mongering locale. He has his heart set on finding a girl who meets his certain criteria. When he does not find said girl he reports the place is terrible or has gone to shit. Since I go with an open mind just to see what I can get into, I am never disappointed. Certain aspects of the place may be off (boring at certain periods, poor infrastructure), but I damn sure enjoy myself with the women because I don't have a picture in my head of what kind I must get or the things she must do.

4. Most guys on ISG are running around trying to pay for pussy. You had pussy paying for you. You definitely should have enjoyed it for what it was and ridden it out as long as possible. That shit needed to be treated with kid gloves, because like my man Jj said one false move and the party is over. You upset the balance. I have fucked the balance up many a time before by doing one little bullshit thing, but the unfortunate thing is that you do not know that little thing would ruin it until the good thing is gone.

Next time be easy.

[QUOTE=Phunluv;1857340]So, I just read KillArmy's story and some of the responses.

Finally: I think your problem is you come off a bit desperate and needy, it even seeps through your report. My advice is cool off with some meaningless sex; do a type of mongering that you've never done before, something that will stretch your skills, whether it's street girls or casas or after hours spots. Just get laid a bunch of times and stop worrying about finding true love. Most men are unhappy in their marriages and relationships, so don't idealize or romanticize the situation. There are many ways to solve your problem but it won't guarantee happiness or a perfect life; being with a woman, even a good one, is always a challenge.[/QUOTE]Great response to KillArmy, as well as the other guys' responses.

I remember, being new in Colombia, over 15 years ago now, falling for a beautiful girl from Cali.

About the same as KillArmy, I was all sappy, lovey dovey, etc.

She too, told me about some Colombian dude she "loved" and wanted.

Yep, she was still nice to me, just like KillArmy's girl to him, but I was basically the dreaded "amigo". LOL.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I had my cry (yep I was a dork), then got strong, toughened up, mongered my booty off, had fun!

Learned from my experience big time.

Told myself I would never allow myself to be stupid nor allow myself to cry again, like a dork.

Way way way too many girls out there for that crying nonsense!

If I start feeling a girl giving me drama or grief or the amigo BS, I just move on now. No huss, no fuss. Ciao baby!

Like the other posters having been saying as well, these girls can feel your being too thirsty for Love.

Mellow out a bit, be more mysterious and have more of a IDGAF attitude, and they dig ya all the more.

My Cali girl, eventually got dicked over and dumped by the Colombiano, just like KillArmy's girl will most likely be.

She came running back, and by then, I was over that nonsense, had met a gazillion more babes.

I, of course, did her the favor of some good sex, LOL again, however, I just saw her as a sex "amiga" now.

That felt good!

Enjoy life KillArmy!

Just keep having fun, lay low on the drama for a bit, you'll see, you'll be laughing at this episode shortly.

[QUOTE=KillArmy;1857139]Hello everyone,


I am 32 y old; super tall; OK looking and European. My first language is French but I speak quite well Spanish. I am living in Medellin for 2 months....

.[/QUOTE]Thinked it was me who wrote the post. Same age, nationality ;)

This experience doesn't happen to me for the moment. You were lucky to find a girl educated who don't want you pay for her. Actually I didn't find any of this type of girls and I'm a little desperate.

If you plan to stay in MDE, you probably continue to see her and with the time she can change. I can understand with his age she wants to have more fun. Us we are 30's so we want to start serious relations.

[QUOTE=Kyrawz;1857535]Thinked it was me who wrote the post. Same age, nationality ;)

This experience doesn't happen to me for the moment. You were lucky to find a girl educated who don't want you pay for her. Actually I didn't find any of this type of girls and I'm a little desperate.

If you plan to stay in MDE, you probably continue to see her and with the time she can change. I can understand with his age she wants to have more fun. Us we are 30's so we want to start serious relations.[/QUOTE]If you're in your 30's and want to start a serious relationship, stop chasing the 20 year olds. You can have your pick of women just a few years older than you and they'll do just about anything to keep you happy.

The 20 year olds are either just looking for a good time, or are looking for a good source of money. The few who want a serious relationship are looking for someone their own age.

Guys,

Thanks a lot for all the amazing messages. I feel in the limit of stupidity when writing so much in here but all your reactions are so nice, not judgmental, etc. , I really appreciate it. Even better if some can learn out of my story.

This will and really is helping me. I will come back to read some of your guys whenever I feel bad again (like this morning.) to make me feel up again. So much to be learned.

'Learn to be sure to understand the signs a girl is showing to you before you do anything crazy about her'. So true. I missed this point with her though she probably manipulated me a bit.

Kyrawz: I hear you man. But: if you got some Spanish skills, if you go out of Parque Lleras (I was really luck when I met my girl there), if you do as some wrote, do some day game, in the parks, commercial centers, etc. , you will find something.

I wish I could PM you.

I have a question though: If I do subscribe to be able to send a PM to someone that as not subscribed, will he be able to read my message / answer me?

I plan. And have already written a message I will sen to her after like 4/5 days without any message. I will share it to the community. And yes, I know, I should go on and maybe just never write her again. But this is difficult and you know it.

I am pretty sure this is what I want to tell her but if there is something that you so disagree with, please feel free. I hope I don't sound like a drama queen and I so much appreciate your guys support, will never write it enough. There you go:

Hey xxxx.

I will write in English because I know your level is good enough. I also want you to feel what it is when you are not sure to understand someone, like when you got frustrated because I wouldn't understand your Spanish.

I wanted to give you some time to clear your her head, put your ideas back in place. Some time so that you could think back with 'rationality' about everything that happened in your life since I met you.

Now that I think again about the time we had together, I can write I enjoyed it so much to go in el Eje Cafetero together. I enjoyed to see you so happy to be living this trip. I think I have brought something positive and nice in your life.

Unfortunately, the very few times I started to like a girl in my life, I always end up fucking things up. XXX, I am too emotional, too passionate, I always have to express my sentiments. I showed too much my neediness and wish for a relation and this killed the initial passion between us. I think 'the flame' is gone now. Damn, I even cried in front of you. I am ashamed. But that is how I am.

I honestly wish I would be one of this many guys that never seem to have any sentiments or express them. I wish I could be able to not start to feel sentiments when having sex with a fantastic girl like you are. Or a liar, just playing a game, to make sure that you get as crazy of me as possible, even if I do not care about you, even if all I wanted was sex with you. Would you have preferred that?

Before our trip, you told me a few amazing things that maybe no girl before ever told me. ([blue][Non-English text deleted by Admin][/blue]).

I got a bit crazy in my head and went to this trip with too much expectations.

XXX. I have been thinking so much about you since we hugged and said 'adios' in the bus terminal. I miss you a lot.

BUT, also, I have realized that 'sin darte cuenta', you really played with me!

Before the trip, you should have been honest with me and telling me that 'it was only vacations con derechos', to 'have fun times', like really good friends, with nothing more to expect because you were in love with another guy!! For me, it would have been fine! I still would have gone with you and we still would have had good times! You probably wouldn't end up not wanting to make love with me any more like it happened.

I can't believe we could have had all the moments we had together before our Eje Cafetero trip, all the smiles, beautiful moments, complicity, trust and beautiful sex. I think you were honest about this times. But at the same time, you were with another guy? You really played and manipulated me. Even if you did not realize it!

And don't tell me you are still young and still want to see a lot of guys / girls, that you are free. You just met this Colombian guy 2 months ago, you spent little time with him, and all you show to him seemed to me like love, passion, craziness, a wish to be in a relation, etc. No, XXX, you are not free! You are like almost everyone! You want to feel love, to feel good, to have someone to take care about you, to make you feel like you are the most beautiful person in the world, you want to be happy. Happy!

I really hope that this guy is not playing with you because honestly, you should try to think with rationality, not with passion. He is 36 years old, always lived in Medellin, and he has never been able to find the women of his life? How can you think you could be different for him? How can you think this will finish well? I really hope for you that you won't suffer from this. I really hope you will be strong. Not like the 2 first time you were in love.

Actually: I really hope that you will stop to be like me! Too passionate in love. Too much sentiments. Too much questions.

And do not compare me with him please. Yes, I have 32 years old but I have travelled all the world, I am living in different countries for 7 years, etc. When I will be lucky enough to find real love and a city / country where I will find happiness, I will just stay. Medellin?

XXX, Yes, I still want to see you so much. But I know you are. Dangerous for me. YES, I miss so much your beautiful smile, I miss to see you laugh, I miss to feel your body next to me. But at the same time, I know you are making me too crazy. XXX, I wish I could be forever your very best friend and be stronger than the risks this involve because as I told you once: [blue][Non-English text deleted by Admin][/blue]'.

I still want to see you but life goes on. I do not want to forget you but if this is what has to happen, it is fine for me. Whatever happen, once again, I hope you find happiness and stability in your life.

Blabla (personal joke about her father LOL.).

Cheers guys.

[b][u]EDITOR'S NOTE[/u]:[/b] [blue]This report was edited to [u]remove text not in English[/u]. While I encourage contributions from all volunteers, the Forum is an English-only website. Please do not post reports in any language other than English. If you wish to post text in any language other than English, then please include a full English translation.[i]Thanks![/i][/blue]