No Need to "Pay" a Girlfriend
[quote=bango cheito]here in bogota, it is not the norm for a boyfriend to help out his girlfriend financially. that's a whole nother level of relationship. generally the mutual financial support doesn't kick in unless the two people in question are cohabitating. you got a real bad egg there.[/quote][quote=hioctane]the people in most latin countries are poor. this is not the united states. the father doesn't normally support their children because they are poor. to a certain extent, us gringos take advantage of this. having a gf in latin society implies that you help them out financially. what you said was cold![/quote]with my experience it is not the norm for a boyfriend in la society to give his girlfriend money (unless by boyfriend you mean gringo boyfriend). if it is, then where is all this money coming from? is it that the men have money but the women don't? if they are too poor to support their kids how are they handing out sums to a girlfriend that we as gringos are sometimes asked for? i have had a lion's share of girlfriends from mexico, central america, south america, and the dr. the average everyday lady will not ask a man for money, and many insist on carrying a fair share of the load (e. g. paying half or sometimes all). this especially holds true when they are the least bit educated.
around october i called myself trying to deal with a woman about 40 years old who had a nice ass apartment in the north of bogota. she did not have a job. i think her ex-husband was still paying for the place. she was just itching to get married again. why? imho because she was a sorry, lazy broad who wanted someone to take care of her. which is probably why her husband left her in the first place. i told her that it makes more sense to meet someone then decide you want to marry that person. not to decide you want to get married and afterwards find a person that is willing to do it with you.
long story short, i took her, her mom, and her son (who is 20 years old in college studying architecture and has a son as well) to eat sunday dinner. when their driver friend was dropping me at my hotel she asked me for money for her son to get some copies he needed for school. i told her i didn't have money for that. she said, "no problem. we will just go to the atm again. " she told her friend, without approval or acknowledgement from me, to stop at the atm that was near my hotel. i got out of the car and asked how much the copies were going to cost. she told me to get 100,000 pesos. i damn near cursed her out. i had just spent 75,000 pesos feeding her family and she wanted me to just hand them 100,000 more pesos. not the kid. i could see where this was headed so i decided to chalk it up and take the loss. i proceeded to walk the block to my hotel without looking back. now if you are going to tell me this type of thing is normal then i have a 1968 black and white floor model tv to sell you.
i think it is more an issue of home training. whenever i came to cali i would stay at my ex-girlfriend's house. she is now 19 years old. her parents do not have money. her dad is a concrete worker and her mom sews at home. they would always insist i stay at their house and not pay for a hotel when i was dating their daughter. her mom always made 3 meals/day and they would never think of accepting money from me. i went by there last night as a matter of fact. they have gotten a new decorative sofa that is smaller than the old casual one was. so i jokingly asked her mom where was i supposed to sleep now.
when i returned from there last night i talked to an old flame who was going to come by so we could go out about 11:30pm. she ended up not being able to make it; i forget the reason she told me. then this morning she called and apologized that she could not make it. she said the real reason was that she didn't have any money in her purse but she thought she would be able to scrape enough up to come see me. she said she was sorry but she was ashamed to tell me she didn't have any money. i told her that i understood but she did not need any money because i would have paid for the taxi. she repeated that she was really ashamed to tell me. then she invited me to come to her house for lunch.
now, i don't mind paying to take people out, buying them unsolicited gifts, paying for buses and taxis and things of that sort. but to give out cash, i'm just not seeing it. if i give them milk money on monday how are they going to get it for the next six days? (hint: from me again!) the most i am accustomed to a non-pro asking for is a souvenir from some place. now if it was someone i was very close to like my ex here in cali; if something happened and she needed money for school then gladly i would see what i could do. but to hand out money because a girl who i am trying to get to know had a kid with a deadbeat dad i will never do. if we are already fucking then i bring up the hooker line. if not, then i just distance myself from them. i refuse to let them straddle the fence. either you are gf or you are p4p. can't be both.
by the way, the one in barranquilla who asked me for money the other day is back on the train. all it took for me was to stop answering her calls and texts for a couple of days. she has apologized for asking me for money and says that she really likes me and she misses me and wants to be with me. i'm telling you man, you have to nip that shit in the bud. don't let it linger. you have to make it so there will be no doubt in their mind that you will not be the one to play those games with them. remember, there are too many more of them the same place that you got that one from. be able to discern who wants you from who wants your money.
[size=-2][b][u]editor's note[/u]:[/b] [blue]i would suggest that the author or another forum member consider posting a link to this report in the reports of distinction thread. please [url=http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/announcement-reportsofdistinction.php]click here[/url] for more information.[/blue][/size]