Chat Rooms & Pen Pals

[quote=freebiefan]i'm 100% with you on that one. i always ask if they intend to bring a friend. if they say yes, i say no date. i tell them we are adults and add that no where else in the world does anyone go on a date with a girl+ her friend. usually they say " really"? and then agree to come alone.[/quote]

i am also with you on this one. i had a similar experience last week.

i had been chatting with a gal on dia and eventually we had set a date to meet in the evening in makati, a venue. in all of our chatting and date arranging, there was no hint of anyone else involved. yet, when i arrive at the meeting point, i see the gal (not looking anywhere near as attractive as her dia profile pic... why am i not surprised!), and she is standing and talking with another gal (also not very attractive). i walk up to her and greet her.

at that point, she says, 'ok where do we go to drink,' and they both start walking with me. i stop and say, 'sorry, who are you?' to the other gal. then my dia gal says, 'oh this is my friend, can she come too, she has nothing to do tonite?'

as i said, neither one of them were particularly good looking, and to be very honest, had they both been stunners, i might have reacted differently. however, i felt quite peeved that the dia gal hadn't asked in advance if her friend could come along, or even mention it as a possibility. to me that is simply rude, given that obviously i would be paying for whatever they consumed in the evening.

i therefore stopped and said that although i am sure her friend (who by the way hadn't said a word up to that point) is very nice, i am not interested in a group date, and furthermore, she should have asked me in advance if she could bring a friend, as that would be the polite thing to do. i told them to have a nice evening and i left them standing there. i should add that i had offered in advance of the date to pay her taxi fare to our meeting spot, but when i left i didn't give her any money.

for me the point is not whether or not a gal can bring a friend on the first date with a western guy, because i do realize that cultures vary and chaperoned dates are not extraordinary here. it is much more a matter of simple courtesy to ask/inform your date partner in advance. by leaving them there, i was hoping that my point was made strongly enough so that she wouldn't do that again.

i ended up having a pleasant enough evening having a few beers with gals i know in rogues!

mantaray

[QUOTE=Manta Ray] ..I should add that I had offered in advance of the date to pay her taxi fare to our meeting spot, but when I left I didn't give her any money.

For me the point is not whether or not a gal can bring a friend on the first date with a Western guy, because I do realize that cultures vary and chaperoned dates are not extraordinary here. It is much more a matter of simple courtesy to ask/inform your date partner in advance. By leaving them there, I was hoping that my point was made strongly enough so that she wouldn't do that again.
[/QUOTE]

Yes, but did you ask her if she intended bringing a mate, as FF suggested? On a first date, Filipina's will often want to bring along a friend or family member for moral support. If you ask first and reassure them that you are not an escaped ax murderer, and hint that the date is off if they bring someone along, they will usually turn up alone.

A few times I have had first meetings with girls who did not match up to their profile photo's. Each time I politely made my excuses and left. As you did. No point flogging a dead horse. But I have always given them a hundred pesos or so 'taxi' money. They always travel on public transport so this usually covers it, even if they have come a fair distance.

A few pesos is nothing to us but can mean an awful lot to a girl who doesn't have two pesos to rub together and who has spent time and money coming to meet you.

This one is over the top. Cherry Blossoms no C01259188

"Her" first text to me made her seem very bright:
"...I am very open-minded, accepting and understanding. I'm able not only to recognize, but also appreciate the fact that people are wonderfully varied creatures with a tremendous range of differing thoughts and opinions. I can easily entertain new or foreign ideas or philosophies without having to adopt them as my own..."
but this was copied from a gay mans friendster page

[url]http://profiles.friendster.com/18625651[/url]

Had some nice chats, then I get this:
ME: hello there cathy, its nice to hear from you
Cathy-C01259188: Have a pleasant day Sir: <-OK I taught "Cathy" to address me this way. Then I get this copied and pasted text:

"
First of all i would like to introduce myself. I am Jane Putis friend of Catherine.
I am here to informed you that Catherine was admitted to hospital yesterday because of the car accident. She is in critical condition right now due to this accident. She got little bit blood cloth of her head and a bone fracture that made her life unconditionally. Bone fraction is a medical condition in which the bone is cracked but not broken. And my friend Catherine need to have her treatment. Since bone healing is a natural process which will most often occur, fracture treatment aims to ensure the best possible function of the injured part after healing.
ME: oh that sounds just awful.."

On and on several pages, I guess copied from some medical web site.

Its just so freaking silly...

[QUOTE=Manta Ray]For me the point is not whether or not a gal can bring a friend on the first date with a Western guy, because I do realize that cultures vary and chaperoned dates are not extraordinary here. It is much more a matter of simple courtesy to ask/inform your date partner in advance. By leaving them there, I was hoping that my point was made strongly enough so that she wouldn't do that again. [/QUOTE]

Actually, you should have known to ask ahead of time as you state you know it is not uncommon for this to happen. And it is very common for girls to show up with friends or family, that's one of the first questions I ask, and you should clarify ahead of time.

It also is a good indication if a girl does or is willing to show up alone that she might just be spending the night also.

Sounds more like you were disappointed that she was uglier then you thought.

[QUOTE=Jack Sheet]I don't even ask if they are bringing a friend. If they do, I sit down, buy them a drink and try to get them relaxed and comfortable and make a few jokes. Then I ask if I "passed the interview" and ask the one I invited if she wants to join me at my hotel. If the other one is hot too, I try to get her over as well to make a threesome.[/QUOTE]There is another advantage to accepting a chaperone too. If a girl has a friend or cousin along she can often stay out all night, if she is alone she will be expected home early.

Ask them both back to the hotel. If the chaperone "falls asleep" it is a sure sign that the girl you dated is ready to party. I have had great times with the chaperone feigning sleep on the same bed:)

[QUOTE=Ausieguy]There is another advantage to accepting a chaperone too. If a girl has a friend or cousin along she can often stay out all night, if she is alone she will be expected home early.[/QUOTE]You must be dealing with quite young ladies. I've never met one that had a curfew though I always check if they have well in advance, just so theres no misunderstanding.

[QUOTE=Ausieguy]There is another advantage to accepting a chaperone too. If a girl has a friend or cousin along she can often stay out all night, if she is alone she will be expected home early.

Ask them both back to the hotel. If the chaperone "falls asleep" it is a sure sign that the girl you dated is ready to party. I have had great times with the chaperone feigning sleep on the same bed:)[/QUOTE]

I tend to agree with the other posters on this.

If the chaperone is hot also I try to enjoy a threesome..or least the chaperone may enjoy watching and then decides she is missing out on the fun.

But I have also had some bad experiences of girls turning up with the family unannounced

With over 70 chat mates on YM, I have had about a third of them ask me for money outright because of their so-called financial problems, and another third hint about their poverty stricken lives. I've been polite to all of them, even as I decline to send them money. When I get there in January I'll send them all my Cell Phone number to see who bites. I love the Pinas!

Yella Man

[quote=yella man]with over 70 chat mates on ym, i have had about a third of them ask me for money outright because of their so-called financial problems, and another third hint about their poverty stricken lives. i've been polite to all of them, even as i decline to send them money. when i get there in january i'll send them all my cell phone number to see who bites. i love the pinas!

yella man[/quote]
it has been told to them through the grapewine that if they cry poverty some foreigner will send money . in the begining i have sent $50 to a girl who promised to meet me in manila. ofcourse i got scammed. live and learn.
later i have sent money for airfare to fly them in to meet me. i did not get scammed and they showed up and we had a good time. ofcourse some money changed hands for clothes,gifts and pocket money to them at the end. so it is hard to figure out who is telling the truth or who is lying.
some promise sex right away and others wait till i meet you attitude. majority of them will have sex with you if you behave half way decent.

[QUOTE=Tansak KTV]Actually, you should have known to ask ahead of time as you state you know it is not uncommon for this to happen. And it is very common for girls to show up with friends or family, that's one of the first questions I ask, and you should clarify ahead of time.

It also is a good indication if a girl does or is willing to show up alone that she might just be spending the night also.

Sounds more like you were disappointed that she was uglier then you thought.[/QUOTE]

Yep, I do believe you've sussed it. As I mentioned in my post, I would probably have reacted quite differently had the DIA gal and/or her friend been hot.

Oh well, we live and learn! And ain't that what makes mongering so damn educational!

I used to implement a strict no friends policy. Nowadays I often do just the opposite, at least if we are talking "normal" girls you spend more than 1 hour with before your first attempt to pull down their knickers. I ask the girl if I can bring a buddy and she can bring a friend (according to a few guidelines. No LB, no aunties, no mums, etc). She feels safe, and most often we have more fun between the four of us. In the end we shag anyway. Seating strategy is the key many times. You walk with the girl and chit chat. As a true gentleman you offer her to sit first and then you lock her in on the chair next to you.:.) Good if it is a corner. That way you can establish a physical relation with her. An arm around her when you joke. A hand on her leg. Put your hand on her for 10-15 sec. You know the drill.

With a pro this is just a waste of time. For an innocent girl this is the fastest way to get to know her.

Barba

[QUOTE=Yella Man]With over 70 chat mates on YM, I have had about a third of them ask me for money outright because of their so-called financial problems, and another third hint about their poverty stricken lives. I've been polite to all of them, even as I decline to send them money. When I get there in January I'll send them all my Cell Phone number to see who bites. I love the Pinas!

Yella Man[/QUOTE]

If one looks at it from a Philippinas perspective, they soon come to realise that 80% of the guys contacting them through DIA will never actually set foot in the Phils just feeling lonely and in the search of a hot internet partner. A further 15% will just hook up with someone they met at a bar or mall and forget about the monthly long internet contact. A further 3% are just lining up as many girls as they can . Maybe 1-2% are for them serious prospects. So of course many learn that getting some pre sales cash is the way forward. A proportion (esp the ladyboys then turn it into their main profession)

[quote]I want to meet a strong, tall, studly man. Must have money, good job and be able to care for me and my family...I am the only one in my family who works, so I have to support my mother and father, 2 sisters, 1 brother and his wife. This is the Philippine way. I send them 25,000 PHP each month. If you marry me, you marry my family also...I am willing to marry you. [but if] I am unable to provide them what I send them now, then you will be obligated to do it. That is my marriage contract.[/quote]

Cherry Blossoms C01463162 19yo Angeles, Pampanga
She's got some tits and they're milking 'em. At least she's up front about her costs lol. Maybe the contract is negotiable..

[quote=jambo]cherry blossoms c01463162 19yo angeles, pampanga
she's got some tits and they're milking 'em. at least she's up front about her costs lol. maybe the contract is negotiable..[/quote]
yes. i'm quite sure that the contract is negotiable. she'll renegotiate it every chance she gets for more money and less services. i can think of a lot better ways to spend $533 usd/month than on a chick who is only 19 yr old but already showing tremendous porker potential. based on her location and business sense i'd say that she has already put in some time in the bars. with all of those dependent family members i'd say that $533/month will quickly balloon into $1,000/month or more. one week papa will fall off the water buffalo while working the rice paddy breaking an arm, leg or both. the following week mamma will have a trike accident resulting in the need for expensive lifesaving surgery. the week after that the brother's wife will be giving birth and need money for doctors, [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord131][CodeWord131][/url], baby clothes etc. then the two sisters will need money for school among other things and the leaky roof on the nipa hut needs fixing. if she is sending them 25,000 pesos/month then she is already doing some serious hooking. if you don't let other guys fuck her so she can make money for her family then you will have to pay. it's the philippine way.

Okay, so I probably should have read THIS thread before even starting down the road that I chose, but we all know that hindsight requires no vision correction! Anyway...the details first.

About 8 weeks ago, I learned I would be making a trip to the Philippines. Of course, since I expected to be visiting a hobbiest's paradise, I began my homework on ISG! I received some excellent advice and recommendations from an expert (wicked roger) and several others on the forum.

Wanting to make this more than just a bombing episode in the bars, I began with Yahoo chat groups, and quickly discovered DIA and the other dating sites. After sifting through the 100-200 wannabe's, I settled in for several weeks of chatting with 3 or 4 good possibilities. I knew which one was the winner from the outset, but wanted to have a few backups in case of no-show-itis. I needn't have feared.

My chat friend and I spent five amazing days together, doing a whole lot more than chatting. In between bar hopping and bed hopping, we went out for dinner and sightseeing and shopping. It was a lovely time with a lovely woman. I felt like I was dating again...after 22 years of ho-hum married life.

From the outset, we were realistic. She knew about Mrs. Gern and the family in the USA, so we had no expectations about a "future" together. Nevertheless, I am now 6 days removed from the PI and I cannot get her out of my mind. Mind you...I'm a seasoned hobbiest...this has never happened to me before! She is suffering as much as I am, but we are both muddling through.

I don't necessarily have any questions, and I don't have any advice. I'm just living in purgatory, chatting daily with my amazing friend and hoping for an opportunity to go back to PI in the near future. I'd love to bring her to the USA for a vacation, but recognize that while I can afford the ticket, lodging, and other expenses, the visa regulations are impossible to overcome (any advice there??).

She is a REAL winner for someone who is looking for a sexy (smokin' responsive body), intelligent (college-educated), mature (28), optimistic-yet-realistic woman who just wants LOVE and companionship. She has never asked for a penny, nor do I expect her to do so. Her family is doing fine by Philippine standards, so she isn't looking for a family handout.

So...why am I writing? I guess that even though some of you may want to flame me or have a good laugh at my well-worn story, I'd enjoy chatting privately with anyone in a similar situation. PM me and we can talk more.

Oh...and if you are seriously looking for a woman who will make you happy...contact me for more details. I'd be willing to share (with her permission of course).