The Gaze of Kumbu Turns to Pattaya
So after the three-way ball-draining I got on Friday evening in Bangkok, I decided to take the advice of Uncle Volodya, Haven123 and others and get my ass down to Pattaya. I've been to Pattaya many times over the last decade or so, and every time it changes just a little. We always hear, I mean [B]always[/B] hear, from the doomsayers about how Pattaya, or LOS, or BKK are no longer prime mongering locations. This comes from both the crackpots who have never posted anything else on this forum, as well as old hands with plenty of history in LOS. You know, posts that go something like this:
"When I was a lad, we could get LT with anal and a kiss for 6 baht and a plate of rice. Now the girls want something reasonable, phphph. Pattaya is [B]DEAD[/B]. ".
I'm kidding of course. But only a little.
Anyway, after having spent two full, active days in Pattaya (detailed in the next few posts), I can say that Pattaya has indeed changed significantly, and not for the better, IMHO. But that's not to say that it is not a terrific place to monger. I love this city, because right now, it represents something that no other city in the world (as far as I know) does. And that is that men have needs which are not to be shamed or denigrated or suppressed. These needs are natural, they are part of our biology, and to deny them is as bad as denying the biology of homosexuality, or other now-accepted notions. We used to think homosexuality was promiscuous, weak-willed, men of low moral character engaging in Sodom-and-Gomorra debauchery, when they should be raising repressed young children in the suburbs instead. Likewise, the broader culture, mostly lead by conservative and religious control structures, label what we do in much the same way. These conservative control structures have forged an unholy alliance with feminist reactive forces, which have pushed the demonization of male sexual needs beyond the pale. That is not to say that all male sexual desire is to be celebrated or even tolerated. There are things that should, on moral grounds, be prohibited, such as child exploitation, pedophilia, sexual abuse, etc. These typically involve the absence or inability to give consent by one party in the sexual encounter. But what we do is a different kettle of fish. What happens between two consenting adults should be no one's business, nor anything subject to moral indignation. What we do is no more a moral turpitude than what Macy's does every day: conduct a commercial transaction. I know, I'm preaching to the choir.
Pattaya is the one city where, as an institution, the city has accepted the fact that men like, nay, [B]need[/B] to have frequent, uncomplicated and varied sex with women within the age range of 18-40. That, I believe, is a biological directive, certified by the birthing age of human females. And as an institution, the city has structured everything around the meeting of those needs. The economic backbone of the city is mongering, the inhabitants are all either mongers, providers, or regular people who owe 100% of their livelihood to this principle. And as such, the city has proven a basic economic truth: if there is a human need, and you provide a service to meet that need, you will make money.
My point? The city still holds to this basic human truth, and as such, still wins in my book. So despite the changes for the negative that I perceived over my albeit short two-day stint, I am still in the camp that says that Pattaya is #1 for mongering.
In the next few posts, I will describe in my normal excruciatingly detailed manner my weekend in this lovely oasis of human freedom.
Soldier of freedom in the army of the true male
Ok, this is it folks. I've been living the dual life for the last week or so, with efforts 100% focused on work during the day, and 100% focused on sexing it up at night. And this has been mentally and physically quite challenging, it must be said. But what am I supposed to do? Come to Bangkok and not partake in what it has to offer? That would be shirking my duties as a soldier of freedom in the army of the true male. Nay, it would be borderline treachery. So I powered through the fatigue like a good trooper, and now comes the weekend, with some very welcome respite from work duties. The girls at work asked what I would be doing over the weekend. I said I would probably relax a little, do some shopping, and enjoy some good food. None of that was a lie. Relax: sex. Shopping: peruse the multitude of sex outlets in wonderful Pattaya City, ranging from Coconut Bar all the way up to the high end gogo bars of Walking Street. Delicious Food: does DATY count?
I tittered my self over to Ekkamai for the bus down to Pattaya, like a giddy school boy whose girlfriend has just told him that tonight he will get to second base. I bought two seats and kept my nightbag with me, rather than check it in for storage under the bus. I always do this, and it makes for a much more comfortable trip down. I left at around 11:30 and arrived a full 3 hours later. I mention this so those of you looking to plan, know that you will need that full 3 hours. Sometimes it is faster, but traffic usually catches up to you somewhere along the route. Upon arrival at the bus station in Pattaya, I opted for the more expensive motocy and bombed down to my intended area of residence. I had not booked a hotel, and so I did a walk in, read my forthcoming review of Aya Boutique Hotel for details.
I was still beat because of a lack of sleep, so I took a power nap. I over slept and woke up at 7:30 pm. Argh! I need to get cracking. I am under strict orders tonight, and must serve my army with distinction. There is no room for error, and this is not the time to procrastinate. Shower, don my fancy linen shirt, gel, then a little extra gel, there, perfect. Off I walked into the very muggy evening in Pattaya.
Running and drinking and howling, all night long.
At around 8 pm, there were numerous SWs on Beach Road, but none of them worth more than a glance. There was something wrong with every one of them, in some way or another. They were either menopause-proximal, or sported a faux 5-month-pregnant pot-belly, or had that meth-chic look which I've never been into. Some of them looked in decent shape, but were stuck looking at their cell phones, and these suffered from the worst affliction of all: disinterest in your hero, Kumbu. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
When I got to walking street, I remembered what a fucking ball-sweat of a beast it is to walk through there. The families, the hawkers with those fucking 'fucking show' placards (they all seem to think this will work, do some dopes actually go for this? The boys selling glowy wrist bands (watch out, they will try to snap one onto your wrist and demand money), and those goddam tours. If I could kill (or banish to Hoboken New Jersey) one set of these people it would be either the hawkers or the guys with those flags with dozens of clueless tourists following along like mindless ducks. Ducks? I meant Fucks. Can you sense my utter disdain? Anyway, my plan was to scout the gogos, and if anyone popped up, I would take her and see where the night went. And if not, I would aim to be in a nightclub by around 1 am. I planned to check out Lima Lima as well as Insomnia. Here are the gogos I went to, details below:
- Angel witch.
- Naughty girl (kind of).
- Supergirl.
- Angel witch again.
- Living dolls.
- Peppermint.
- What's up.
- Happy.
[B]Angel witch[/B]
I walked in at 8:10 pm precisely and it was totally dead. Well, not really: there were 8 girls on stage, and 0 customers. I was the only one. Awkward, since none of the girls wanted to proposition me, since that would make them look piggy, and so they all just ignored me. It was surreal. But I liked it since I could scope out physiques without being pestered by annoying banter. I saw #99, who looked decidedly mixed, ethnically. She had a fatless body, as far as I could tell, with very proportionate limbs. But the coup de grace was her face. It was super cute, perhaps because of its both familiarity (European features) and exoticness (Thai features). But was she BF worthy? Naah, given the fact that this was my very first stop, and that she was giving me absolutely no love, I drank my draft beer, paid up the 100 baht and moved on.
[B]Naughty Girl[/B]
I walked in, looked around, and walked right out. There were half a dozen girls, all roughly 3's on a 10 point scale, and so I saw no need to spend money there. I was mocked mercilessly by the waitstaff for showing such disrespect. Solly krap.
[B]Supergirl[/B]
As soon as I sat down, before I had a chance to even look around, there was a girl sitting with me asking me for a LD. Normally I would get up and walk away, but she was cute, and I was in the mood to look. So you do need to invest a little for the pleasure of looking. So I agreed. The girl, on closer inspection, was not to my taste. Her facial features were a little too severe for me, and her body was too thin, bordering on wafe. So 10 minutes later, and I paid my 300 baht check-bin (my drink + LD) and moved on to. . .
[B]Angel witch[/B]
Again. See, by this time it was 9:40 pm, ten minutes past the famous Angel Witch Show, and I wanted to catch at least part of it. So I trot in, but given that this was my returm trip, the girls took this to mean I had interest in [B]them[/B]. So I sit down mid-show, and within 30 seconds I had a very toothy girl seeking permission to sit down. Ach, sit down, that's the first step towards LD, and then LD for some other leachy hanger-on, and then more LDs, it never ends. But again, I thought it might be fun to chat with her during the show, so I agreed. And within 30 seconds, her best friend arrives and says 'you buy for me lady dink naa, I take care you. ' Some back and forth later, and it turns out she means I get to rub her pussy. Yes, you read that right. I did not think Angel Witch was this raunchy, but apparently they now are. So LD it is. And pussy rub it is too. With both girls it turns out.
But I had seen this movie before, at Crazy House in Bangkok, and I was not really in the mood to repeat. In CH as well as here, the girls in question are of dubious pedigree, and I was not in the mood to compromise tonight. So one thing lead to another, and I had to let them know that there would be no BF tonight. They took it well, and asked for more LDs, but I said no. Aaaah, I put a damper on their party, I know, so sad. But significant damage had been done, and in retrospect, I think it was a mistake. Paid the 900 baht check-bin and scrammed.
I was getting tired at this point. The gogo hustle was getting weary, my energy was sapping, and it seemed there was no end in sight. I was not finding my perfect princess to fuck, and the hustle was getting more and more consistent. I could not let it get to me. I know far too much to buckle now. So on I went.
[B]Living Dolls[/B]
This place is down an alley opposite the alley to Happy A-gogo. It has a similar vibe to Happy, but apparently it's not owned by the same group. One of the girls told me that Happy, Peppermint and Bacarra are owned under the same umbrella, and Living Dolls and What's Up are under a different umbrella. Anyway, I sit down, and I am not getting any pressure at all to buy LDs. What a fucking relief! I finally get a chance to look around and see if there is any talent. I had just had four beers in succession (one at each of the preceding bars), and so I was getting buzzed. I was not sure if it was the beer or if I was punch-drunk from all the hustling I was enduring, but either way, something needed to change. I had seen someone drinking an orange juice, so thought I would try it. I was expecting sanitized, homogenized, pasteurized, endless shelf-life Minute Maid or Tropicana style OJ, but got fresh squeezed instead. What a delight!
There were a couple of quality looking girls, but one suddenly stuck out to me. She was [B]stunning[/B], I mean she had a drop-dead gorgeous face, the kind that you see in magazines, or that belong to dolls. She had long, lustrous eye-lashes (which looked to be real, not fake), a pert, shapely (all natural) nose, a super sexy set of lips (perfectly shaped), and the killer of them all, a chin to win the day. I know, a chin is not what you usually write home about, but her chin was definitely worth a BF. It was a strong chin, for sure, but it had structure without being dominant. But it had such a fantastic shape, I don't know what else to say about it.
Her body looked pretty sexy too. But she was a small girl, very small, and shapely too. She had nice, small boobs, and sexy well-proportioned legs. Her ass was smallish, and her midsection was, well, fine, perhaps showing a little puffiness (though not fat, it was odd). She had lovely long brown hair, dead straight, and overall the package was one of elegance, sophistication, and sheer beauty. She was utterly beautiful, and I had to talk to her.
So I make the motion, and she comes over a few moments later. Her name is Whan, #55, from somewhere in Isaan that I have never heard of, near Khon Kaen she says. She is 150 cm tall (4'11") has worked there for 5 months. Her skin was soft and supple, and she seemed very pleasant indeed. The problem was that it was not easy talking to her. For whatever reason, there wasn't much of a vibe between us, so I decided not to make that bad decision, and bailed on her. My thinking is that I might return either later that evening (it was still early), or the next day. I paid the check bin for my drink plus two LDs, total of 450 baht. Getting ever more tired, as I trudged back up the alley way to the ball-squeeze of a Walking Street, I told myself "You know too much to buckle now, my friend, you know too much to buckle now".
[B]Peppermint[/B]
I get in and it was bustling. There were many girls there, several of very do-able quality, and plenty of customers. There were three stages (right? I'm not sure if there were 2 or 3, now that I think about it), and each had perhaps 8-10 girls. I looked around for about 45 seconds before once again, I was ambushed by a tag-team situation. The first, prettier of the two, was {insert monosyllable here} and was {twenty something} years old, hailed from {insert random town from Isaan here}, and had worked here {insert random amount of time here}. Her friend, the uglier of the two, was named {insert different monosyllable here}, and was a tad older, at {insert previous random age+5}, and came from {insert different random town in Isaan here}. We talked for a full 3 minutes before the dry humping began. Little Kumbu got rubbed, hands were inserted into panty strings, boob flesh was groped, oh I can't remember what else happened, because it is all beginning to blur together into an unfortunate mass of female offerings in return for over-priced drinks. Cut to the chase: I got a good 10 minutes of proper groping and dry humping in return for 4 LDs and my own drinks. At that point, the more rambunctious and prettier of the two, started angling for a BF. I declined, so she asked for another LD, and I gave her a hard look, and she backed down so fast, it was funny. She said 'ok, ok' and waved her hand good-naturedly, as if to say, 'too much? I paid my check bin, which was a whopping 800 baht. Jeez, hang in there Kumbu, you know too much to buckle now.
[B]Whats Up[/B]
I could not find this place, for whatever reason. Given the previous discussions here, I was eager to check it out. So I tried to find it on Google Maps on my phone, and surprisingly, it helped a lot. So I finally found it, the downstairs one, and sat down. And you guessed it, within 2 minutes, I was tag teamed by two ugly girls. They were like the two most ugly girls in the club. Some must like them but they were not my type. But again, they did some service for me, and I LDed them, but that was it. So two LDs and one drink for me, and the check bin came to. . . Wait for it. . . 1500 baht. I could not believe it. The drinks were priced at 500 baht per drink?! How the fuck could that be? So I asked, and they told me no, they are priced at 300 baht per drink. But we only had two LDs, and my own drink, so that should be the still-exorbitant price of 900 baht. They said no, you ordered two LDs for mama san too. Whaaaat are you talking about? I never did that. But they insisted.
I asked for the manager, and they said mama san was the manager. Oh great, she's the one ripping me off. So be warned, this place is a racquet, and I for one will not be returning.
Now on the flip side, the girls here were really gorgeous and energetic. There must have been 40 girls there, standing on the backs of the sofa dancing, jiggling stuff everywhere, it was quite the visual feast. But it ain't for the faint of heart, nor for the weak of wallet. I left feeling very depleted, in energy as well as morale, as well as lucre. But I could not let it get me down. I know too much to buckle now, too much. Yah, keep telling yourself that Kumbu.
[B]Happy[/B]
And in total contrast to that, Happy is a great little place. They never hassled me, I sat there and soothed my grumpy self for 20 minutes over an orange juice, and paid my 85 baht drink fee, leaving a 15 baht tip, making for a very pleasant 100 baht experience at Happy. No talent worth writing about, but still a nice interlude.
So during my 20 minutes at Happy, I took stock of all the fleecing that had occurred over the last two hours, and I decided that was enough. There were still many more gogo bars available to visit, but I had had enough. It was time for me to hit the night clubs and see what I could find.
Let me say that the fleecing was partly because I had intended this to happen. This is not my first dance here, so I know how the operation works. I think, however, the hustling has taken on a different level of intensity. There has always been some pushiness to buy drinks, but it seems like on this night, and to me in particular, the hustling was pointed, unabashed and rather aggressive. I found out later that the drink requirement placed on girls has significantly increased since my last visit to Pattaya. Back then, three years ago, girls had a 50 LD requirement per month. That was hard for some girls to fulfill, but that is what they were required to do. Now, at least in Living Dolls, the requirement is that girls need to get 50 LDs in any ten-day period that they work. Not sure what happens if they don't meet the quota (I. E. , I don't know how much of their salary gets docked), but that is one fuck of an ask of these girls. Can you imagine how unhealthy that must be for them? Anyway, the greed here is clearly on the part of the bar owners, and not the girls. But the girls are put in the unenviable position of really having to go hard at the customers.
Nonetheless, it was exhausting, and I am lucky I quit when I did. So now, having unsuccessfully navigated the gogo scene on my first night, it was time to check out the nightclubs. First on the list was Lima Lima, which I have never been too. If that fails, my plan was to go to the tried and tested Insomnia (which I have been to several times in the past). All will be posted in due course.