[QUOTE=Idler31]No, but you can have the box it came in.[/QUOTE]
Now that is funny stuff right there.....I don't care who you are!!!
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[QUOTE=Idler31]No, but you can have the box it came in.[/QUOTE]
Now that is funny stuff right there.....I don't care who you are!!!
[QUOTE=GoodEnough]I'm not trying to start a war here, but I do wonder where you get the right to pass judgment on the relationships of others? These are both consenting adults, and the basis for their relationship, or the fact that they have a relationship at all is simply none of your business.
GE[/QUOTE]
I would wholeheartedly support GE view on this matter. It is not our right to pass such judgements, NR wanted some comments/advice not criticism. Brave enough he shares with the other mongers his story as many would not (or some would embellish it)
Some of my good friends in the Philippines have large age differences, one is 65 and his wif is now 26 and been married for since she was 18. They are blissfully happy and she is an out and out nympho and her husband has the time of his life. Others I have met through them are the same 40 years age difference does seem to bother them
So dont knock age differences, we all get something out of it (maybe different for each of us) but as long as we end up smiling each night (and possibly have another hard on :D) then we should all be happy
Personally I like the age difference, makes me feel younger and hornier ;) :D
[QUOTE=GoodEnough]I'm not trying to start a war here, but I do wonder where you get the right to pass judgment on the relationships of others? These are both consenting adults, and the basis for their relationship, or the fact that they have a relationship at all is simply none of your business.
GE[/QUOTE]
Dear GE,
I do really not care about what the others do. And if a young girl thinks it is good for her to get into that kind of relationship she shall do so - and same for an old man.
But if someone asks the community about their opinions - like NR did - he gets an answer.
Anyhow, if the girl already cheats on him before he had her the first time that makes all discussion needless at all and shows her motivation.
But you're right - none of our business.
Shamuc
[QUOTE=Sponsor74]
maybe a stupid question: with the modern medicine, is it possible to get the virginity after a woman lost it?
[/QUOTE]
Not a problem with today's surgical techniques.
"About Hymenoplasty and the Hymen Restoration Procedure
For some women, it is important that their hymen be intact while unmarried due to cultural, religious, social or ethnic reasons. Sexual intercourse will rupture the hymen, however, it may also be ruptured due to a cause not related to sexual activity. Tampon use, horseback riding, and activities requiring extreme flexibility may also be a cause. As a result, hymen restoration has become one of the most popular cosmetic surgical procedures for women in Toronto, and around the world".
"In traditional hymenoplasty, an experienced physician will stitch the edges of the remaining hymen together. By doing this, the hymen will grow back together as it heals. Women undergoing hymen restoration will also experience a tightening of the vaginal walls".
Read more: [url]http://www.tcclinic.com/hymen-restoration-toronto.php#ixzz0MA9Wl1Wt[/url]
Slim
Baffles me why some of these younger mongers are so ageist and rail against the idea of a 60+ guy going at it with a young girl. Guess it might have something to do with their own poppa's being around and of a similar age to the guys in question and every young guy cannot bear the thought of his 'ole man in the saddle, riding rodeo.
Guess that their attitude will change as they get older themselves unless they settle down to boring old monogamy or celibate impotence, like many older guys do.
Anyway, there is a wise old saying where I come from that a man is 'Only as old as the woman he feels':).
Wow. Some great posts here. I'm responding to Shamuc. I'm wondering what his age and culture is, but maybe that's too personal. I'll respond in some ways.
1) If I had a heart attack in that situation, I would be very happy. When someone dies, that is always the first question. "How did he die?" When my firends raise a glass in my honor, I hope it goes like this,
"It may have been from over exertion as he'd been fking the sht out of a woman 1/3 his age....and there may have been complications from the use of chemicals like alcohol and Cialis. They say he had a smile on his face!"
note: at my age I have achieved intercourse with a woman half my age, but no where near 1/3 my age (illegal!). Actually I'm pretty smitten with the multi orgasmic little 35yr-old vixen who visits once a week. (not in Detroit nor AC, btw).
2) Shamuc is planning to marry a Filipina and take here back to Germany (temporarily or permanently wasn't mentioned) where they will live happily ever after. "I live with her"...yes, that is quite a different situation isn't it?
As much as I hate to say it, Shamuc has some food for thought for older guys who expect too much from their younger filipinas. Those who have been reading here regularly know that already which is why his tone seems a bit too Germanic. (Like the Japnanese,they love to have their rules...including rules about how other people should live their lives).
But in the end, Shamuc is a Shmuck. (just kidding)
X Man
[QUOTE=Shamuc]Dear GE,
noone doubts that the girl needs the money, everyone knows about the difficult situation of many women in the Phils, and we all understood that NR treated the lady more than well.
But: does all this help him? Being with a 48 years younger Filipina MUST lead to a heart attack!
I personally live in Shanghai with a 8 years younger Filipina I got acquainted to in TRL 2 years ago. We just plan our second visit to my friends and family in Germany, we seriously plan our common life. This is a much more healthy situation than a child having a "relationship" with a guy 3 generations ahead! My girlfriend sees the perspective I give her and has no reason to cheat on me. And I'm sure she doesnt.
But NR's girl has NO other chance than seeking a better alternative, perhaps with some real love involved.
NR should seek a lady around 50 (which still could be his daughter...) - this would have a much more reasonable base.
Shamuc[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Cunning Stunt]Baffles me why some of these younger mongers are so ageist and rail against the idea of a 60+ guy going at it with a young girl. Guess it might have something to do with their own poppa's being around and of a similar age to the guys in question and every young guy cannot bear the thought of his 'ole man in the saddle, riding rodeo.
Guess that their attitude will change as they get older themselves unless they settle down to boring old monogamy or celibate impotence, like many older guys do.
Anyway, there is a wise old saying where I come from that a man is 'Only as old as the woman he feels':).[/QUOTE]
Still, the original poster NR, was dating (or trying to date) an 18yo girl. Maybe you should check her ID to make sure she is legal.
Good for him but what can he (and she) expect from such a relationship and 48 year age difference? Not a very long time together for sure. How about a family, maybe she wants kids, she better get used to being a single mom - she will have a hard time finding a new mate to take care of her hybrid kids.
With any luck he will have a large life insurance policy to take care of her and their kids if they can have any.
At least no one will be able to say he is going to the park with his granddaughter, they just look too different - I'm assuming (NR) you are Caucasian.
IMHO, he should look for at least 25yo girl with some life experience, I even recommended he look at the retired 35+ yo BG market segment.
How interesting is it to look at some young girl but have nothing to say. It might be nice for the first few days but the law of diminishing returns will set in very quickly. There is more to a relationship than just sex.
Some PI girls don't even understand the concept of 'weather and temperature' - only hot. Sure he can train her but does he really want to end up in a way - fucking his (grand)daughter.
Lets get real. A geriatric guy dating a teenage girl is just gross. Should be gross for both parties. Talk about a lifetime walk of shame. Sorry just my feelings.
Do you think her parents will approve? Maybe her grandfather will have a new friend?
"sorry, just my feelings"
Thanks for the quote. Thanks for your feelings.
You say, "With any luck he will have a large life insurance policy to take care of her and their kids if they can have any."
Yep. WOmen marry for support and you have described wy a woman would marry an older man. DUH?" What is your point?
X
[QUOTE=Yellow Fever #2]Still, the original poster NR, was dating (or trying to date) an 18yo girl. Maybe you should check her ID to make sure she is legal.
Good for him but what can he (and she) expect from such a relationship and 48 year age difference? Not a very long time together for sure. How about a family, maybe she wants kids, she better get used to being a single mom - she will have a hard time finding a new mate to take care of her hybrid kids.
With any luck he will have a large life insurance policy to take care of her and their kids if they can have any.
At least no one will be able to say he is going to the park with his granddaughter, they just look too different - I'm assuming (NR) you are Caucasian.
IMHO, he should look for at least 25yo girl with some life experience, I even recommended he look at the retired 35+ yo BG market segment.
How interesting is it to look at some young girl but have nothing to say. It might be nice for the first few days but the law of diminishing returns will set in very quickly. There is more to a relationship than just sex.
Some PI girls don't even understand the concept of 'weather and temperature' - only hot. Sure he can train her but does he really want to end up in a way - fucking his (grand)daughter.
Lets get real. A geriatric guy dating a teenage girl is just gross. Should be gross for both parties. Talk about a lifetime walk of shame. Sorry just my feelings.
Do you think her parents will approve? Maybe her grandfather will have a new friend?[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=X Man]"sorry, just my feelings"
Thanks for the quote. Thanks for your feelings.
You say, "With any luck he will have a large life insurance policy to take care of her and their kids if they can have any."
Yep. WOmen marry for support and you have described wy a woman would marry an older man. DUH?" What is your point?
X[/QUOTE]
My point is more for him than for her but she is just as important.
Sure women, especially poor disadvantaged women marry for support. And in the PI when you support this girl, you should also support her rapidly expanding family too. It's too bad it is that way but that is the way it is.
She obviously wanted him only for support, she could not even keep her pants on long enough to wait for him. Does not sound like much love or respect. OK, I give her respect, after all she told him about her 'error in judgement'. I think she needs to grow up a little more.
If she would read this, then I hope that she would feel awkward at the situation. An Anna Nicole Smith situation comes to mind.
Most of my comment was for HIM, and his motivations/reasons for getting into a relationship with (what I would consider at least) a woman much too young.
And the way the original post sounded, that he was heartbroken that she lost her virginity watching TV with another guy and not with him, makes it sound even more likely he is not capable to maintain this relationship.
It is my feeling, that if he looks for someone with more experience and a few more years under her belt that THEY will be happier together.
I can only see confusion in this little girls world. She does not know up from down. She may know how to use the computer to find guys (DIA, Tagged, Friendster etc.) but this has been taught since grade 3 in the PI curriculum. She may be legal but there are some loose connections in her head.
I only wish both of them happiness and success, together or apart.
Correct me if I am wrong but wouldn't a relationship with a huge age gap like this (48 yrs) be only possible in the Phils? I would think most wouldn't last too long in a 1st world country if he were to bring her to his home country.
As for my advice to him, as others have said. Move on there are plenty of fish in the sea, If she truly loved and respected you she wouldn't have gotten herself into trouble, she had plenty of time to not do it but she sought it out the whole time. Also from my experience dating and knowing filipinas they are quick and easy to fall in and out of love as you already may know. I think also you would be better off with someone older who has some life experiences and has something more intellectual to add to the relationship. Good luck.
[quote=neon noodle]correct me if i am wrong but wouldn't a relationship with a huge age gap like this (48 yrs) be only possible in the phils? i would think most wouldn't last too long in a 1st world country if he were to bring her to his home country.
as for my advice to him, as others have said. move on there are plenty of fish in the sea, if she truly loved and respected you she wouldn't have gotten herself into trouble, she had plenty of time to not do it but she sought it out the whole time. also from my experience dating and knowing filipinas they are quick and easy to fall in and out of love as you already may know. i think also you would be better off with someone older who has some life experiences and has something more intellectual to add to the relationship. good luck.[/quote]
not only in the philippines perhaps, but such relationships are probably limited to third world countries in which economic imperatives overshadow and outweigh purely emotional concerns.
the problem, i think, with looking at "may-december" relationships through the lens of western culture is that such perceptions largely miss the point by focusing on a definition of "love" that's strictly western. in most se asia countries in which i've lived--indonesia, malaysia, vietnam, laos--the basis for relationships is much more pragmatic, and has less to do with the "romantic love" that is the stuff of medieval chivalry, or perhaps romance novels, and much more to do with what each person can bring to a relationship. thus the phrase "i love you" has far different connotations here and elsewhere in the region than it does in the west. here, soap operas notwithstanding, the concept has more to do with financial security, simple kindness, gentility and compassion.
there are two generic factors at work here that are not generally operational in the west: poverty and kindness. regarding poverty, the fact is that most people in this country are poor. approximately half the country gets by on less than $2 a day and survival is often a day-to-day concern, forcing people to live in the present moment. this being the case, how surprising can it be that the financial security and certainty often associated with older westerners is a large component of "love?"
second, this culture implicitly sanctions the abuse of women by men, who are rarely held accountable for the [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord123][CodeWord123][/url] and/or other brutalization of "their" women. foreigners are thus (correctly) perceived as kinder, gentler and safer, particularly among the poor. so the freedom from physical abuse, or even the potential for physical abuse constitutes still another large component of what is, for many, defined here as "love."
taking these factors into consideration, and remembering too the enormous obligation (utang na loob) that most women feel toward their families, it is not only possible but highly likely that young women will "love" their much older mates. love is, after all, culturally defined and highly mutable from one society to the next. in this case, the women receive financial stability and kindness while the men have the satisfaction of truly making a difference in the life of someone else.
ge
[quote=goodenough]not only in the philippines perhaps, but such relationships are probably limited to third world countries in which economic imperatives overshadow and outweigh purely emotional concerns.
the problem, i think, with looking at "may-december" relationships through the lens of western culture is that such perceptions largely miss the point by focusing on a definition of "love" that's strictly western. in most se asia countries in which i've lived--indonesia, malaysia, vietnam, laos--the basis for relationships is much more pragmatic, and has less to do with the "romantic love" that is the stuff of medieval chivalry, or perhaps romance novels, and much more to do with what each person can bring to a relationship. thus the phrase "i love you" has far different connotations here and elsewhere in the region than it does in the west. here, soap operas notwithstanding, the concept has more to do with financial security, simple kindness, gentility and compassion.
there are two generic factors at work here that are not generally operational in the west: poverty and kindness. regarding poverty, the fact is that most people in this country are poor. approximately half the country gets by on less than $2 a day and survival is often a day-to-day concern, forcing people to live in the present moment. this being the case, how surprising can it be that the financial security and certainty often associated with older westerners is a large component of "love?"
second, this culture implicitly sanctions the abuse of women by men, who are rarely held accountable for the [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord123][CodeWord123][/url] and/or other brutalization of "their" women. foreigners are thus (correctly) perceived as kinder, gentler and safer, particularly among the poor. so the freedom from physical abuse, or even the potential for physical abuse constitutes still another large component of what is, for many, defined here as "love."
taking these factors into consideration, and remembering too the enormous obligation (utang na loob) that most women feel toward their families, it is not only possible but highly likely that young women will "love" their much older mates. love is, after all, culturally defined and highly mutable from one society to the next. in this case, the women receive financial stability and kindness while the men have the satisfaction of truly making a difference in the life of someone else.
ge[/quote]
what a load of bunk.
i mean no offence ge but as 'westerners' we should live with the mores of our culture which says these grandfather/child relationships are sick and only a little bit less sick than ****philia which is against the law. in this case the stronger set of mores and decency rules should triumph, not the weaker set. don't take advantage of the situation.
sure, for example, getting high on weed in jamaica is normal or a great thing does not mean you can buy the weed in jamaica and take it home. just not accepted and illegal.
finding a girl 1/3 your age to fuck and abuse (or love and abuse) may be accepted in these desperately poor third world countries because they need the money but would look awfully odd to bring her back home.
i don't think there will be many friends, family colleagues in the home countries that will give you many high fives for scoring and capturing with some 18 yo bimbo.
getting old sucks but it is a fact of life. try to live with people within your own generation or at most one distant. anything more is abnormal.
even some professional bg with any self respect, would rather not go with some ancient customers if they had the choice but the choice is limited because they often just need money to eat or sleep for the present day. i'm am not saying there is anything wrong with nr (the original poster), he may be the most upright pillar of society in terms of look, dress, hygiene, finances, education etc. but he and all of us should know better.
any girl who chooses to have a ltr with a customer/lover with such a generational gap must be leaving some screws on the table. does any relationship want to be perceived that way?
maybe i'm wrong.
just because you can do it does not mean you should. try some common sense and decency.
if you really want to help our some desperately poor 3rd world country, marry one of them in a decent age range. take care of her and her family (utang na loob).
then use your resources wisely, give charity and offer your time and experience as a volunteer to make change in the country. build a school, help them get drinking water. become a teacher. donate medicine. don't abuse their children.
kindness, gentility, compassion?? surely, you must mean, perversion.
When I look at this picture, I don't think perverted nor abnormal. I think "lucky bstrd". Of course this is only 30 yrs difference.
[QUOTE=GoodEnough]The problem, I think, with looking at "May-December" relationships through the lens of Western culture is that such perceptions largely miss the point by focusing on a definition of "love" that's strictly Western. In most SE Asia countries in which I've lived--Indonesia, Malaysia, Vietnam, Laos--the basis for relationships is much more pragmatic, and has less to do with the "romantic love" that is the stuff of medieval chivalry, or perhaps romance novels, and much more to do with what each person can bring to a relationship. [/QUOTE]True wisdom.
Please re-read Good Enough's post at least ten times.
Marrying for the concept of "romantic love" was very rare even in Anglo countries up until approximately 150 years ago. It remains foreign in most of the world today.
Only two generations ago my own grandparents were matched up for economic reasons. They were introduced to each other one week before their wedding.
Throughout history, the kings and queens who could marry anyone in the world they wanted did not even do so for "romantic love." They married to acquire new lands and riches, gain new allies, keep the peace, and produce a proper heir to the throne.
For tens of thousands of years of human history a man and a woman joined together solely for survival reasons. It is only during the past .01% of history that people in a minority of places around the (Western) world think that "romantic love" has become the accepted reason for a marriage.
Yet Westerners are so egocentric that we think we all understand love. After all, we learned about it in a movie or cartoon when we were little kids.
And we believe that everyone else should think and act just likes us and follow our silly cartoon notions about love.
No wonder there are so many divorces in the Western world. We actually have no common historic experience with "romantic love." We have no training, nowhere to learn about it, nor any knowledge of what would help such a marriage be successful or cause it to fail.
Generations from now our descendents will laugh at how arrogant and foolish we were to think that we could successfully choose a mate for reasons of "romantic love."
The naive idea that "love' will overcome all problems had been repeatedly proven a sham as the divorce rate skyrocketed in Western countries in the past 50 years.
I met a very bright woman from India, who was enrolled in a U.S. university in pursuit of her Ph.D. in engineering. She told me that her sister in India was excited for her because "Now that you are in America, you can have a 'love' marriage!"
My friend just laughed. "I don’t want one of those. They never work. I will go back home and let my parents pick a nice man for me. My parents love me and will do their best to find someone who will treat me well."
Initially, I thought she was nuts. But having been divorced twice myself, I thought long and hard about what she said. I slowly came to realize the wisdom of her words.
I know that the main reason I was attracted to my ex-wives is that they were really hot. Everything was fun at first, and we seemed to get along well, so I projected onto them my desire of who I wanted them to be. I truly believed everything else would somehow work itself out.
As long as they knew how much I “loved” them, everything would be fine.
I ignored the clues along the way of all the problems that were sure to follow. I was blind and stupid because I was so "in love."
Now I realize how right my friend from India is about ones own ability to choose a partner. The odds of it working are slim and none.
My mother loves me and would pick a girl she thinks will make me happy. She would not purposely choose an ugly girl for me, but Mom would never be fooled by how hot a woman is.
So I went home and gave my mother a blank check to pick any mate she wants for me. She still doesn’t believe I mean it, but I do.
Honestly guys, all this talk about love and virginity really is irrelevant to human happiness. In fact, it is usually extremely detrimental.
It was repeatedly ingrained into us by religion, movies, cartoons, commercials, fairy tales, billboards, silly love songs, and the other artifacts of Western culture. All of which are based on PURE FANTASY. None of which reflect reality.
I think the most destructive force in Western culture today are those Disney fairy tales we tell little kids, like Snow White, Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast and the rest. Total pornography.
They simply warp little children's minds with brainwashing about "romantic love." They only serve to set up these poor children for a life of misery and failure in their relationships.
Notice how they always end on the wedding day? They never show the rest of the story, do they?
The fantasy of “romantic love” causes pain and damage to more people's lives than crack, heroin, and alcohol combined.
Do any of us really believe that anyone who has achieved true “romantic love” in their lives would be found contributing to the ISG Forum?
So for anyone here who feels qualified to pass judgment on the choices of others, I think that you should get your own act together first.
And if you ever do, we will not be hearing from you again.
In the meantime, it is pretty foolish for those of us here to try to judge anyone else’s choices.
DB
[quote=yellow fever #2]what a load of bunk.
i mean no offence ge but as 'westerners' we should live with the mores of our culture which says these grandfather/child relationships are sick and only a little bit less sick than ****philia which is against the law. in this case the stronger set of mores and decency rules should triumph, not the weaker set. don't take advantage of the situation.
sure, for example, getting high on weed in jamaica is normal or a great thing does not mean you can buy the weed in jamaica and take it home. just not accepted and illegal.
finding a girl 1/3 your age to fuck and abuse (or love and abuse) may be accepted in these desperately poor third world countries because they need the money but would look awfully odd to bring her back home.
i don't think there will be many friends, family colleagues in the home countries that will give you many high fives for scoring and capturing with some 18 yo bimbo.
getting old sucks but it is a fact of life. try to live with people within your own generation or at most one distant. anything more is abnormal.
even some professional bg with any self respect, would rather not go with some ancient customers if they had the choice but the choice is limited because they often just need money to eat or sleep for the present day. i'm am not saying there is anything wrong with nr (the original poster), he may be the most upright pillar of society in terms of look, dress, hygiene, finances, education etc. but he and all of us should know better.
any girl who chooses to have a ltr with a customer/lover with such a generational gap must be leaving some screws on the table. does any relationship want to be perceived that way?
maybe i'm wrong.
just because you can do it does not mean you should. try some common sense and decency.
if you really want to help our some desperately poor 3rd world country, marry one of them in a decent age range. take care of her and her family (utang na loob).
then use your resources wisely, give charity and offer your time and experience as a volunteer to make change in the country. build a school, help them get drinking water. become a teacher. donate medicine. don't abuse their children.
kindness, gentility, compassion?? surely, you must mean, perversion.[/quote]
yf i am expeditiously approaching 30. so i wouldn’t be classified as old but i am no longer young. that being said i think your post is out of line. just because a guy is 20-30 or 60 his taste in young women may not change.
what you’re trying to do is control human behavior. i still like to fuck the odd 18-19 year old when i get the opportunity. most people are attracted to youth/nubiles its human nature. the only time i have problem when they people say the girls prefer this or that they are all different.