Filipinas - Opinions and Advice

After much paperwork and expense it will eventually be very straightforward: the answer will be no, she can't, buzz off and have a nice day.

Unless she is chief of surgery at an elite hospital and her dad is a wealthy tycoon and her mom is a high government official, the U.S. authorities will almost always decide (rightly or wrongly) that there is insufficient reason to believe that a poor, working, or middle class Filipina will not overstay, and applications for U.S. tourist visas are routinely denied to ordinary Philippine citizens.

It is a lot easier for YOU to visit her in the RP.

Trisomie,

Ever wondered why the Chinese dominate trade and commerce in the Philippines?

Simple - they help one another out and work together through "guangxi" (connections/networking) for the greater good of the community (Chinese, that is).

What's my point?. Well lets just say that "crab" analogy suits Filipinos to a tee.

They are so engaged in sponging, mooching and trying to bring others down in their sly mischievious ways that, unlike the Chinese,are not smart enough to realize that the way to get ahead is by working together. These people want a free ride and will try and sink their claws into you at the first oppurtunity (another crab analogy?).

Remember the 4 F's for Filipinas;

Find her
Feed her
Fuck her
Fling her

If you want a serious relationship with a women, go Chinese/Korean or Japanese.

Flips are too DYSFUNCTIONAL.

Cheers

Trisomie

Good Enough and Wastrel,

Thanks for the responses. I anticipated somewhat that kind of response however, I have heard otherwise from Philpino friends here in the US. In the case of this woman, she is a married girl (though separated) with 4 children, college educated and working for a mulitnational in Phil and solidly middle class. Most importantly does have something to return to in Phil...4 children. So I guess I kind of figured she would be a safe bet for visa for tourist visit.

I guess maybe I am wrong - unless someone else has another insight into this. My Phil friend here in states said that because of the overstaying of visas and stuff they have reduced visa stays for 2 months.

Hank

Hank Stram

I brought my wife overhere on a fiancee visa, that took 13 months, and I would not send support money to your girl, it only sets you up as money source for her, she would always come up with a reason for you to send her money.

I would take time off and visit her there, and half think about surprising her, this way you would know if she has a regular filipino guy as a BF that she really likes, and using you for money.

hank,

i find the information from your friends interesting. not sure what to do with it, but interesting. i happened to be in manila when the philippino gossip grapevine overthrew a government, and i tend to respect the potency of their international telepathic chatter network, so i wouldn't want to lightly dismiss their understanding of the matter. my home base in the u.s. is near las vegas, which has a very substantial fil-am community, so i will probably try to ask some folks here about it in case my knowledge of the tourist visa situation is obsolete or they have some insight in how to outwit it.

something else i would want to consider if i was going to try what you want to do is that i have found that international flights originating in the rp tend to be more expensive than trips originating from the u.s. to the philippines. it is possible that i just don't know where or how to look for them, but i haven't found r/t fares from manila for anything like the $600usd consolidator fares i know i can get in the other direction, and even the all-asia pass from cathay pacific that i am familiar with required that the junket begin from lax, sfo, or sea-tac. on the other hand, maybe your filipina friend can catch a better deal with pal becuase she is a philippine national, and i am not.

wastrel

Nobody here with good experience in marriage with Filipinas???
Maybe is not the forum for it.....

I'm not interested in marriage, but i read many posts of every country and i found the same prolems everywhere.
In the past i thought that a Filipinas is one of the best choice....

Maybe the problem is not the nationality.....

HotSam,

I have been living in the Philippines for the better part of 10 years and been married to the same girl for more than 12.

I think that the best way is to stay away from the bar girls as they tend to learn the bad habits of easy come easy go. They don't really have a lot of common sense in the financial department.

I think the waitresses, department store girls, regular business store girls are a much better choice. I met mine overseas and we decided to move back to the Philippines after we had made a few trips there together.

I accidentally came upon the following website and found that it had some really good information.

http://filipinawives.com/

It can answer a lot of questions without the bitterness common to this board of bad experiences. It can and does work out with filipinas.

I know more than a few Filipinas here, several of them middle class, who spend a reasonably high proportion of their time establishing and maintaining internet-based relationships with guys in the US and Europe. Several maintain relationships with 3-5 guys who send them money, propose marriage, and offer to take them out of the country. Having read the posts and listened to the phone calls from these guys, it appears that many of them are convinced that they're "engaged" to these women.

Leaving aside for the moment, the wisdom of proposing marriage to somone they have never met, and about whom they know nothing at all, the fact is that the creation of as may of these relationships as possible is, for Filipinas, somewhat of a national sport. Many of these guys call the women once or even twice a day, and do not appear to consider the fact that their "fiancees" have multiple virtual relationships. The rationale, from the standpoint of the women seems to be that from among a skein of possibilities, one may actually work out and offer them a viable chance to get the hell out of here.

From the standpoint of the guys, I have no clue what's in their heads. Perhaps they're motivated by the mistaken though noble belief that they are going to "save" the women from lives of poverty and neglect. Perhaps they're unwilling or unable to sustain actual relationships in their own countries, or perhaps they're playing games as well and have several simultaneous relationships with groups of women. All I can tell you is that here in the Philippines, it's a huge con game from which the women derive substantial financial benefits.

Recently, I was in bed with an adorable woman, had just finished an intense bout of making love with her, and her phone rang. It was her "boyfriend/fiancee" from Europe telling her how much he loved her. She carried on an apparently sincere conversation with him, reassuring him how much she loved him, he promised to send money, and she went back to fucking my brains out. She told me later she had several such relationships and never expected any of these guys to actually show up.

I think the lesson to be learned here for you guys out there who maintain these relationships from 12,000 miles away is that things are rarely as they seem and the chances are good that while you're fantacizing about the girl, and sending her money for support, the chances are excellent both that a few other guys are doing the same thing and that she's fucking one or more non-virtual guys on the ground in the Philippines. Do not delude yourselves into thinking that you're the chivalrous white knight responsible for the survival of the woman, or that your Pygmalion dreams are anything but dreams.

We say in French: "Un homme averti en vaux deux," which means that a man who has been warned is worth two of one who has not been. Consider yourselves warned.

GE

Good Enough,

I am quite curious about the kind of girls you are referring to. I know that stated these were "middle class" girls and certainly a young lady working in a bar can eventaully earn enough money to be considered "middle class". You gave the story of you screwing a girl who was having multiple relationships with Europeans and reasurring a fiancee of her love and devotion. Was this a bar girl or a nice girl you met working in a professional setting.

Please set the context for your statement about these girls "bilking" as many guys as they can for their money. Are these decent professionals working normal jobs or dysfunctional, poverty stricken desperate girls or bar girls?

your generalization is not clear about the "class of girls" you are referring to. Thanks for some clarity here.

Hank

Hank,

I actually had a message on an Filipina internet date site from a girl in the same position as your girl. She also had four children.

In the message she told me that she was looking for a relationship with a guy from the USA and that she was willing to leave her four children at home to have a husband in the USA to have a better live and be able to support her children. That she would love him and please him and also have hopes to get a job to send money back to her four children. In other words, you are now supporting her children and the family they are staying with.

I understand her situation, but her message left me with an impression that she was trying to leave her children permanently and really didn't want the responsibility anymore. While others may look at her as sacrificing and very caring. I thought he total opposite.

Just me opinion

FF

Goodenough,

The part of your message giving the possible main reason for most or some of the girls carrying on more than one interent relationship. Because they do not know which guy will actually come through with all the promises is why I don't blame them for having multiple possible suitors on the hook. To many guys play with their feelings as well.

I also hold a very little sympathy for those girls who are bilking multiple guys out of their loot and never have any intention of actually going through with her promises. If she is any good, the money she can bring in is far more what she would make with the poor job opportunities and poor pay if you do get a job in the Philippines. Because if the guy is naive enough to believe her, then someone is going to take his money sooner or later anyway. So why not her.

I have had many girls on yahoo chat who talk of wanting to meet me during my next trip to the Philippines. Soon after I agree that it would be nice to meet her she begins talking about needing to stay in touch with each other till I arrive to the Philippines.

Then she gets around to telling me that she cannot afford to stay in touch because she has no job. So, would I support her in staying in contact with me.

Of course I always tell them no and let them know exactly why. They always come back that they are not like that, but if I think he is that's OK. I respond that I'm sorry if I upset her, but there are to many girls lying and playing games on Chat sites.

I tell her to give me her cell phone number and I will call her when I get to the Philippines. If we actually make contact then it was meant to be, if not then guess what?

Just wanted to share one very common scam that I have had tried on me many times.

FF

Hey how about some advice for me.

On my last trip to Cebu I met a girl there who worked in the mall. She's a sales lady at one of the botique stores.

First off, I'm not looking for a serious relationship so it wouldn't break my heart if she was screwing some other guys. I just want tips on how to tell if she's telling the truth or not. I've read the past posts so I have some ideas but more advice is better than less.

Reasons that I want to know if she's straight foreward with me or not is that, if she's screwing around then I want to make sure I use protection always and if her story is true I plan on paying for tuition for her to finish college, she claims to have 2 years left. I'm not in love but sometimes I just like helping people and if she's legit I'd just help her out for the hell of it. Obviously I would pay tuition straight to the school not to her and check up with her professors on how she is doing and if she is showing up to class, etc.

From what I can gather she's just started her 5 month contract there at her store.

Some reasons that make me think she's a non-P2P girl is:

1. Works at a store, 6 days a week 8 hours a day. Why would a P2P girl spend hours all day and week working making 200p a day when she can work nights and make 5 times that. This is verified because I would drop by the store during the day and pick her up after work during the week I was there.

2. Has an old beat up crappy cell phone. I'm not talking even the old Nokia 3315 black and white that I bought for 3000p last month. The thing has to be a couple of years old and through a couple of past owners. P2P girls usually have a decent phone or top model phones since either they got the money or they have greed, that's why they are in the business.

3. Wardrobe is average with not many name brands, ie. Bench, JAG, Kamiseta, etc. I can tell she only has maybe a couple of clothes that she recycles for the week.

4. Lives in a boarding house with 3 other girls in the same room. Went to see it already.

So what would be some ways to check up on her and look for signs.

I repeat I'm not in love nor looking for a relationship with her, just looking for ways to verify her story to me so that if she's telling the truth I will help her with her schooling. When I say I will help her I don't mean for sex. I guess I have the typical knight in shining armor complex.

Mook

Mook: She is probably genuine so go ahead and give her a chance. And tell her you wil check up from time to time.

I bonked some ladies in Bangkok who were working in shitty factory jobs by day and doing some hooking by night. If her room mates are hooking, as would be natural if they need the dough and don't morally object to it, there would be pressure on her to do likewise.

Women are into shit like mobile phones; they are social creatures. Give her a break, and a new mobile phone too. If it works out, you will be happy.

Mook:

You have already done the most logical thing, which is to drop by unannounced and confirm that she's where she said she would be. All of the other outward signs you mention point to her story being true. Go ahead. Help her with school. It's one of the best things you could do with your money, and you will make a difference in her life.

well, here's some advice from me.

i asked her straight up why she's not hooking and has she ever and if not why not, let's face it, making 200p a day at a job that you have to stand all day is shitty in anybody's book.

her answer to me was that she just wasn't that type of girl and what would others think of her especially her board mates, who would instantly know. it sounds reasonable because she was always shy coming to my hotel room because she didn't want people to think that she was a hooker and didn't want to come up alone out of fear that security would stop her and accuse her of it. also she was very self-concious of stares that people gave us when we were out and about. all "working" girls i've met don't care.

domino, you are right about the roommates, she explained to me that there were different boarding houses for girls that were p2p, i would suspect a bit better than her place since she didn't have a/c. so i guess they congregate or pressure each other to work or work out of envy of the boardmate bringing in the big bucks.

at the same time guys, when i was in manila i picked up a freelancer at a bar, nice girl, was telling me that she did have a 9 to 5 job at a internet cafe and did this twice a week to supplement the income. her bf was sending her 20,000p a month and she worked. i was just thinking to myself is she must be spending that money on shabu cause she must be pulling in 25,000p then total and here she goes hooking just to make say an extra 2000p a week if she gets picked up, when she's raking in the cash already. who knows how many other suckers are also sending her money. even dropped by the internet cafe and saw her since it was at a major mall so she was legit.

while i'm at it, i'll tell you guys another girl i met, the day after the one above. she just turned 18 been "working" for 3 months. sold her virginity to a japanese guy for $1600 through ******* when she was 17. (i leave blank because i don't want to encourage any **** activities.) so this guys sends her 30,000p a month so that she won't "work". smart plan since he knows she's clean with no diseases but he didn't take into account her greed or need. so she tells me she does this 3 times a week to supplement her income. i pretty sure 30,000p a month is plenty to live on and i was grilling her about it. she says that she has to send money home every month because her dad can't work anymore, a sob story but don't know if it's true. also told me that how she ended up in manila from her province was that a lady came looking for virgins to work at ********* she would still be working there but the cops came and busted her and she got kicked out for being **** at the time.

that's why i'm skeptical myself after hearing these things in person. i did leave the girl in cebu my 3315 so she wouldn't have to use her beat up phone. if she doesn't get greedy and ask me for a color cell by her birthday in december, i'll get her a nice color phone since i know too that cell phones are the status symbol of the pi.

mook