Bangkok Reports

[QUOTE=Rjsss212; 1456537]Knowing Thai in Thailand helps, huh? Ya think?

Knowing a few words makes a BIG difference? Really, how is that? To make them giggle? I can do that on my own.

After sabai, sabai it's all useless sawadi-CRAP, me thinks.[/QUOTE]I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're being facetious.

[QUOTE=Paul Kausch;1456525]Fluency in Thai does make a tremendous difference.[/QUOTE]Knowing some simple terms is one thing; being fluent is another.

Syzygies is 95% fluent. You can't imagine how that helps unless you've actually seen it work in person -- as I have from years back. That's why he's got so many local GF, LOL.

And if anyone is seriously interested in learning, he created an extensive MS word document which might be available to anyone asking politely for it! :)

[QUOTE=Streetwalker7;1456344]I'm trying hard to read Kumboos reports but they are getting worse. I think guys say they like his report just because I say I don't. Noone wants to agree with me-even though I'm right. LOL.[/QUOTE]Well I don't try to read it all. Just sort of scan in case anything interesting. I think he is on "something" at times. I am more interested in hard clinical information / data or perhaps a good story but not too psychedelic. Normally I tempted to disagree with you on nearly everything. LOL.

[QUOTE=Paul Kausch;1456550]I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're being facetious.[/QUOTE]No need, I'm not.

Take 20 words of Mandarin you learned on the plane and try and use them in Shanghai. Bettter yet, jump in a cab and use them. ALL you'll get is a big meter and not your destination.

And god forbid someone you approach actually thinks you actually have more than 20 words of language skills and you're immediately fucked with your mouth hangin open.

Basic Spanish 101 in Lima or Quito – Very helpful.

20 Spanish words in Tijuana makes them laugh.

20 Thai words – useless.

Whispering sabai, sabai when your sliding it into her ass – Invaluable!

[QUOTE=Traveler1234;1456560]That's why he's got so many local GF, LOL.[/QUOTE]You exaggerate again. I have only one GF (yes its the same one you met once. Has been off again on again) and one is really too many. Daddy07 has the right idea. No GF or missus at all. A few female friends not being fucked (at least not any longer).

Then there are all those regular paid girls which is a much better idea. At least with these you know exactly what you are getting for time and money spent.

[QUOTE=Streetwalker7; 1456344]I'm trying hard to read Kumboos reports but they are getting worse. I think guys say they like his report just because I say I don't. Noone wants to agree with me-even though I'm right. LOL.[/QUOTE]You are wrong and also appear to be intellectually challenged if you are incapable of putting someone on your ignore list. Or maybe you just enjoy complaining.

[QUOTE=Traveler1234; 1456560]Knowing some simple terms is one thing; being fluent is another.

Syzygies is 95% fluent. You can't imagine how that helps unless you've actually seen it work in person. As I have from years back. That's why he's got so many local GF, LOL.

And if anyone is seriously interested in learning, he created an extensive MS word document which might be available to anyone asking politely for it! .[/QUOTE]Syzygies is a smart man. No doubt the more time one spends in a country the more knowledge of the language helps. I can't image living in Thailand and not making it one's first priority to learn the language, oral and written. Knowing a few common phrases is helpful even if you are a tourist visiting the country for a few days. Knowing basic customs, greetings, how to ask for things and thank people leads to better relationships, better service and a more pleasant visit. Knowing or not knowing how to say hello in Thai tells the other person something about the kind of person you are.

Thanks for the tip about Syzygies's manuscript.

[QUOTE=Rjsss212; 1456537]Knowing Thai in Thailand helps, huh? Ya think?

Knowing a few words makes a BIG difference? Really, how is that? To make them giggle? I can do that on my own.

After sabai, sabai it's all useless sawadi-CRAP, me thinks.[/QUOTE]Look I agree with you. Not much talk is really required when it comes to sex. Speaking Thai can help just a little with girls that have no English at all. That is a bit rare I think. Can be help for girls that really like talking about themselves but don't know enough English to do it properly.

However I have had a fabulous time in bed with Cuban and Latin girls that only spoke Spanish and I did not. So virtually nothing could be communicated verbally at all. Also in a noisy bar, its quite difficult to communicate due to the noise level regardless of the language at times.

I reckon guys can be just fine using English but need to just remember to keep it simple and slow if the girl's English is weak. I do find it slightly amusing when a guy is rabbiting on in his own language on something complex and it is clearly going completely over the girl's head.

When I first came to Thailand and knew little Thai, it used to be both frustrating and yet fun trying to communicate with Thai girls, with fragments of English and fragments of Thai. Back 20 years ago, the girls usually had a lot less English than what they do these days, like often almost zero English.

I was forced to learn Thai as originally spending extended time with Thai girls who could not speak English. Significant effort involved over a long period, so I don't really recommend it if you don't really have to learn it, unless you have nothing better to do with your time.

Streetwalker7: "No way is there gorgeous beauties filling the stage close to closing"

Streetwalker7 (three days later) : "I'm only patronize R4 during prime-time hours. 9-11pm"

It's not like you to have strong opinions on things you freely admit you know nothing about! It reminds me of the Harold classic:

Streetwalker7: "Pattaya is full of ugly girls. I've never been though"

Ps. I can't quote you directly and I won't see your reply as you're on my 'ignore list'. Strangely I didn't put you on it, it must be some kind of guardian angel looking over me. Thank you guardian angel.

[QUOTE=Syzygies; 1456585]Look I agree with you. Not much talk is really required when it comes to sex.

Significant effort involved over a long period, so I don't really recommend it if you don't really have to learn it, unless you have nothing better to do with your time.[/QUOTE]With an SW money is all you need.

The advantages of knowing a few phrases are when dealing with other aspects of a visit to Thailand. I make a point of using Thai for greetings, thank you, etcetera with people I encounter over the course of a day. Last December I spend a few weeks in a small hotel on Lang Suan. They quickly began greeting me by name and bent over backwards to exceed my expectations whenever I made a request. For example, I forgot to bring my voltage converter and asked if they had one I could borrow. They did not, but next day they delivered a box to my room that measured about a cubic foot. It converted voltage, amperage, provided clean power and surge protection. They bought it for the maintenance department but said I could use it for the duration of my stay.

Maintaining a healthy brain is an excellent reason for a fellow retiring in Thailand to learn the language. Acquiring new complex skills and mastering things like a new language are perhaps the best thing one can do to rejuvenate a brain and keep it young.

[QUOTE=Paul Kausch;1456659]

The advantages of knowing a few phrases are when dealing with other aspects of a visit to Thailand. For example, I forgot to bring my voltage converter and asked if they had one I could borrow.[/QUOTE]You know how to ask for a voltage converter in Thai? That's very impressive.

[QUOTE=LukeSkywalker;1456175]So carry a passport copy but also hide the original in a secured pocket, just in case you really need it.[/QUOTE]Point taken, LS. But by having only unsecured pockets I have secured some fine BJs. It's a kind of risk / reward calculation and to each his own.

I think I will keep my zipper well oiled and the original (passport) in the hotel safe.

[QUOTE=David_33;1456671]You know how to ask for a voltage converter in Thai? That's very impressive.[/QUOTE]Yes. I said, "Do you have voltage converter?" The reply was, "What's that?" To which I said,"Ask someone in maintenance." Presto. Next day it appeared in my room.

In this post, I describe my experience with the Leggy Gal from Climax, along with her dick-ripping BBBJ. I also describe some troubling developments at Climax.

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I get into Climax at 12:45am on a Sat night, and it is full, although not as packed as I remembered it used to get on weekends. That's good. I walked around a little, knowing that my leggy friend and her skinny model would be in the back waiting for me. I wanted to see what else was on display.

There was plenty available. There were some stunners, but mostly regular girls. I would say that perhaps half a dozen girls I saw out of the 50 or so were Kumbu worthy. BUt after 5 minutes of this I realized that all I was doing was delaying getting my teeth into those gorgeous legs, so I spun around and pushed my way past the douche bag dancing and bumping everyone in a 20 foot radius.

The girls were there, bouncing up and down to the music. When I saw them, the leggy one smiles, but the thin one doesn't. I kissed her on the cheek anyway. As soon as I arrived they pointed to their 60% full glasses, and so we ordered drinks. We talked while waiting for the drinks, and when they arrived, something interesting happened. The waitress handed each of the girls a little ticket.

Huh?

Lady drinks in Climax? This never used to happen, but apparently now it does. I did NOT like this development. It meant girls were now incentivized to fleece us guys. A few years ago when I was active in Climax, I used to hook up with girls and after a round of drinks, they would say no to more drinks. I suspect that no longer happens. Plus those stupid bits of fried foods they cart around (chips, fried peas, etc.) for 100b, I suspect its the same deal because when I arrived, someone carrying that shit appeared promptly, the girls eagerly picked one out and then didn't even eat any of it. Later that night I asked Leggy what the deal was, and she was very undisturbed by it. She said, 'sure, Climax give tip for drink. ' How much of a tip? 15 baht. Pretty measly, considering they charge like a 1000% surcharge on drinks. In a later report I will report what the financial model for a Bacarra gogo girl are (something I learned just last night).

So as I'm getting ready to leave, the thin girl puts her hand out and says 'tip'. I said 'for what? ' and she says 'because I get my friend for you. ' Well, she did arrange the whole thing, so I asked her how much? And she said,"one hundre-" and she cuts herself off, continuing "one THOUSAND baht. ' Hah! So I took out a one hundred note and was giving it to her, and she got super pissed off at me. I mean, she grabbed my hand and shoved it back into my chest. Wow, never seen a Thai girl do that before. Wow. So I pulled out a 500 and gave it to her, thinking she'd be happy, but she bitched to her friend that I paid her only 500b. Ok. 500b for pimping her friend, I think that is unbelievably generous of me. I didn't want to sour the mood with Leggy, but come on. Well, I think that's the end of our little relationship. She kept sticking her hand out for the 1000, and I put the 500 in her palm, squeezed it tight, and said "Goodbye."

So out we go. As soon as we get into the real light, the same old thing happened. The beautiful woman in the night club changed and began to degenerate before my very eyes. She suddenly gained 30 pounds, and 7 years. I thought she was in her late twenties, but now she looked in her early-mid thirties. I had thought she was trim and tight, but she was looking to have some saddle bags. And worst of all, those fabulous legs that I had been salivating over for two days seemed to be a little too chunky. Oh dear.

I chalked it up to luck and extreme horniness, and decided to make the most of it. I suspected a mid-thirties broad (I think you have to be mid-thirties or older to be a broad) might know a thing or two and perhaps this would end in some wild sexual scene like never before. As we walked, her English also seemed to disappear. In the nightclub both tonight and previously, she had seemed eloquent and very expressive. Turns out there were a handful of very useful phrases she knew very well, but that was it. Shucks.

We get into the hotel and waltz through the lobby unobserved by the buzzing bell boys, receptionists and pseudo-managers. Once we get in, she runs into the bathroom to get some tissue because apparently she was sweating profusely, unbeknownst to me. When she reappeared I could see the sweat, dribbles all over her face. And as she approached me, I felt the heat emanating from her body a full 3 feet away. Dude, she was sweating like a cow. Wait, do cows sweat?

So I offered her a cool drink, which she gladly accepted. I offered her some refreshing naam pau, but she grabbed the Heineken, popped it open and chugged it down. I half expected her to belch as she wiped her mouth afterwards. So she murmurs something to the effect of 'I need to be drunk to do this', and when I asked for clarification, she snaps 'go shower! ' Umm, yeahhhhhh, umm, I kinda don't like, I mean it hurts my feelings when, aw fuck it, so I went to shower. As I showered the filth and stress from my body, I decided I was going to sink my teeth into those fucking legs, goddam it, I was going to get me some leg flesh, even if it meant dealing with angry, drunk, large-boned lady out there. She was in a foul mood, but goddam it, so was I. But there was only one uncivil person here, and it wasn't the non-sweating, non-beer-chugging, non-cussing, limp-dicked individual taking a shower.

I got out, and she runs passed me, barreling me over like a bull in Pamplona. She shuts the door tight, then locks it (?) , and the shower comes on. Dude, this is not good at all. Maybe it was her period? Maybe she needed a shot of meth? Who knows, but those legs awaited Kumbu-enamel. From the shower she says gently that she is shy, and so please don't peak. Well I couldn't now that the door is bolted.

She comes out, and she suddenly looked much better. Her demeanor has changed, her body seems relaxed, and she seems to have shed 5 years. She now looks in her early 30s, which is a much more respectable age for a WG, but she's smiling and seems more relaxed. She is wrapped tight in a towel, which barely covers her ginormous breasts. Holy cow: I had not even seen those bazooms, distracted as I was by her legs. My word Watson.

She sat next to me on the sofa and I looked down at her thighs. Mmmm, delicious volumes of firm meat. Tonight legs were on the menu, and Kumbu was ready to feast. So we chatted a bit, poor as her English was, and then she saunters over to the bed and climbs under the covers. She switches off all the lights, I mean it was pitch black. No, no, no, I got up and switched on some of the lights. I need to see that body.

So I snuggled into the covers next to her and we talked a bit more. As we did that, the towel around her breasts began to get loose, and it started to fall off just a little. I caught sight of nipple, and I could sense the promised land was near. Finally she stops with the yakking and she lays back a little and I hop on and take her for a ride. She felt like a solid ride, not too big but powerful and enough to get some umph out. Maybe a Ducati Monster 696?

I kissed her neck, left and right, and she smelled pretty good. I worked my way down and undid the towel with my teeth, and nuzzled into her breasts. Boing. My face bounced right back out.

I tried again to push my face into her breasts, and again, BOING.

I lifted my head and asked her 'silicone? ' and she nodded.

I did a little Seinfeld "Newman!"

So I kissed around a little, feeling the solid backing of the breast, and then wrapped my lips around the nipple, tightened as best I could and pried the nipples off their manufactored backing and started to suck them as vigorously. As fake boobies go, hers were really great. I mean, they were soft and malleable, and looked pretty damned good. But fake is fake, and it just ain't the same ramming your face into a pack of artificial chemicals. But I sucked away, just to get her motor running, so I could move on to bigger and leggier things.

I then moved down to her belly, which was remarkably flat for a big woman like this. I kissed her hips, and slipped my hand under her thigh, which felt solid, silky and absolutely fantastic. Her legs were going to be such a delight. But as I made my way southwards, I was waylaid by a pretty little pussy meowing at me out of nowhere. I had not even intended to do any DATY, but suddenly this pretty little thing was calling out to me for some attention. I may be a cold-hearted bastard, but even I cannot be cruel to cute little critters like that. And cute is the right word: it was so small, tight, and fantastically symmetrical. Her lips were tight, small and curled slightly inwards. Their color was not the more pedestrian pink or brown or purple, but a rather exotic, faint orange color. Her Bush was trimmed slightly, not to the point of being prickly, which is good.

So I did my thing, the usual Kumbu Tongue Wiggle, and she digged it I must say. She had a pert little clit that was tucked deep within the hood and I just could not jig it loose from there. It was stuck under the hood, and no matter what I did I could not gain direct access to it. So I rubbed it with my tongue from outside, and kept digging in there with my tongue, which she was really appreciating. Eventually, as she loosened up, I used my left hand to pull the skin above her pussy back to stretch the hood backward, and when I probed with my tongue tip, out popped the little clit. Hello little cutie! I poked it with my tongue and she gasped loud and quick, like this was the first time in years the little thing had seen the light of day, let along the tongue of man. Suddenly her hand was behind my head and ramming my face into her pussy with all her might. My nose bumped against her pubic bone and I lost my senses for a moment, as well as my grip on her clit, so I had to fight her thrashing to get back to where I was.

After that, it was a blur. She was a mad woman, grinding my head into her crotch like she wanted to crack my skull inside her pussy. I let her do it because, well, because it was fucking fun. I kept a grip on the foreskin to keep the clit exposed, and was now using the flat of my tongue to open-tongue massage the entire area, and she was moaning nice and loud.

I put my hands beneath her knees and her legs crooked over my hands. I then lifted her hips off the bed and in one quick swoop pulled my head beneath her hips and slapped my full tongue against her asshole from beneath, and wiped it frontwards across her asshole, then her taint, then her open pussy and finishing on her exposed clit. This was a single-motion salivating tongue-wipe of all her private parts, just like you see dogs doing to themselves (that is ambiguous: on this analogy, I intend Kumbu to be the dog, not the woman) and she ooohed very loudly. I did this 7-8 times and then got tired and went back to tonguing the clit.

About 5 minutes later, when my tongue was tiring (not cramping yet!) , she began to shudder. She flexed, pulled back, and shoved my head off to the side like a discarded piece of garbage. I flopped onto the bed next to her, my dick slapping against my belly, and I lay there wiping pussy juice from my nose, cheeks, forehead, chin and ears. And elbows and shoulders too, actually. She was a wet woman.

We lay there, silent for 5 minutes. She then turned over and smiled at me, and instead of saying something about how good I was, or complimenting my superb technique, she said 'you like to eat toot? ' I smiled. She was remarking about the move I did earlier where I one-motion licked from her asshole to the clit. Those who are able to read these long posts know all to well that Kumbu will never say no to an asshole (actually, not true: see below and tomorrow's post).

So I turn her over and gazed at her legs and ass. Her legs are super good. They are shapely, exactly the shape and proportions I like: thick but not too thick, shapely, good length calves, well toned thighs, great skin, and lovely back of the knee (don't ask). Her ass is good too, but a little bigger than I would prefer. I mean, it was just a tad jiggly, which is good at times, but it was a little out of proportion to the rest of her. This too I had not noticed in Climax. So she was a very big girl, with big fake boobs, a big natural ass, and big strong legs.

I massaged her legs a little, pressing the calves, squeezing the thighs, rubbing the hammies. I then lay my face down and rubbed my face gently into the back of her legs, and little Kumbu began to purr. I licked the back of her knee, and then up to her ass, where her butthole was exposed. But I saw some beauty marks / moles right on the buttcheeks surrounding her butthole, and wondered if they might actually be warts. Hmm, ok, better back off at this point.

Sensing my hesitation, she turns over and pushes me down onto the bed. She goes in for the BBBJ, and I lay back ready for the pleasuring. Here's where we see if the long-cited notion that older gals have skills, younger gals have looks is true or not. I've worked hard for this, I think I deserve some relaxation time, come on baby, let's see whatchoo got.

A flash of bright white light engulfed me, and I was blinded momentarily. I lost all sense of where I was, immersed in blinding, bright white light. I suddenly had a vision, and it was not a vision of beauty or tranquility, but rather a vision of horror and misery. I saw bleary looking people, trudging through the snow, wearing dark, old clothes, some with gold stars emblazoned upon their lapels, towards an encampment of some sort, with great billowing smoke coming out of large chimneys. I saw masses of graves filled with human skulls, and children crying for no reason. I felt the pain of the murdered masses, the lost children, and the battered wives. In that moment, I saw and felt the pain of the world, and emerged a more enlightened man for it. What was the source of this new-found illumination? Was Kumbu finally developing a sense of moral responsibility? Was he finally being empathetic to those who suffer needlessly around him?

No, it turns out Leggy was fucking tearing little Kumbu to shreds with her goddawful BBBJ. I am fucking not kidding guys, this was without a doubt the worst attempt at a BBBJ I have [b][u]EVER[/b][/u] Had. It hurt so bad I could not last more than 5 seconds, and I later found out that she literally tore my skin. I mean, she fucking ripped my dick with her attempted BBBJ. How the HELL does that happen?

Well, first, there were the teeth, oh the teeth (can you hear my sobbing?). I guess she thought teeth on dick feels really good. No, the tooth-on-dick action was definitely not appreciated. She obviously does not have one (a dick, I mean) , nor has she ever had one, so she has no clue what one feels like. And obviously no one has ever taken the time to educate her not to dig your teeth into the base of the penis and then drag your teeth deep into the penis all the way up the underside. And that's because, well, how do you tell someone that their BBBJ was the worst fucking experience of your entire life? You can't, so you just gently but quickly pry her head as far away from your sensitive regions as you can and try to mend your wounds.

Second, she did this terrible thing where she grabbed the base of my dick with her hand really, really tight, like I imagine on of those African ladies would do to little Kumbu, and then with her teeth and tight lips, she stretches the underskin out to the point she actually ripped the skin. The next day, I kid you not, I had trouble walking.

So I literally lasted 5 seconds before I pulled her head up, gasped for air, and then pretended to fondle her breasts just to buy some time to recover. Wow. She asks 'you have condom? ' and without further ado I lunged for something to protect my quivering, fast-diminishing little guy. I took as long as I could because I was weak in the knees and I needed time to recover. Once I was ready, I decided I needed revenge. No, not to hurt her back, but to get the hardest most physical fuck out of her possible.

She was lying on her back, and I grunted to her to flip over. She obliged, and I climbed ontop of her and gruffly muscled my way inside, caveman style. She was flat on her belly, me pumping pussy via her monstrous butt. That was one delicious sight, and the vision coupled with my un-Kumbu-like aggression in fucking, and I began to crescendo rather quickly. Somewhere in the back of my mind a lone sorrowful voice sang out, 'Oh Kumbuuuuuuu, remember the missioooooooon. ' I ignored that sad little asshole and fucked my way to oblivion, cumming, groaning, regretting, and relaxing all at once.

She wanted little Kumbu and his Trojan sheath out of her faster than a Trojan commits an NCAA violation (for non-Bruins, that's very, very fast) , so she grabs little Kumbu by the base, holding him and the Trojan, and gently pulls him free, and she slaps me on the leg and instructs me to shower.

So as I shower, I look down at my limp, red penis. Oh little Kumbu, my little guy, I'm so sorry I could not protect you. You'll be ok buddy, you just need some sleep and then a really nice butt crack to cradle in for a while. I then start to evaluate this girl. She's bossy, kind of bitchy, a little older than I like, has poor English skills, sweats profusely, drinks like a suicidal sailor, cusses accordingly, probably has warts on her ass, has fake boobs, and has a killer BBBJ (literally). But she has legs and an ass. Hmm, it's a close one, but I think I shall have to repeat. I just need to stay clear of her mouth.

So I go out, slip her the 2000b fee, and watch as she high tails it out of the room. And to my relief, there was silence in my room, and I sat there, dazed, for 20 minutes. When I awoke from my daze, it was 3am. The good thing was there was no work on Sunday morning. The bad thing was I am likely still jet lagged, and so I will be awake in 4 hours. Fuck.

[QUOTE=David_33;1456671]You know how to ask for a voltage converter in Thai? That's very impressive.[/QUOTE]LOL. I speak Thai but even I had to look that one up in the Dictionary. Doesn't come up in normal conversation.

เครื่องแปลงไฟ khreuuang(F)-​bplaaeng(M)-​fai(M)

khreuuang(F) - machine or device
bplaaeng(M) - to change, alter, adjust something
​fai(M) - fire, electricity, electric light