Chat Rooms & Pen Pals

[QUOTE=Doingourduty]GL—I appreciate being educated by members here who have been there and know first-hand about the culture. Thank you for taking the time to point this out to me and others who may not know better (because I obviously had a different idea in my head). My misperception comes from recently watching an online video published by a wellknown Tour Company (ForeignAffair and its affiliate LoveMe) intended for an audience of American men interesting in finding Asian brides. To their credit they do point out that most relationships do better with closer ages and that success becomes very difficult with any more than a 20 year age difference; consistent with what I had read 20 years early based on statistical marriage data. But aside from pointing out the obvious statistics they're doing a great disservice.

What you say makes complete sense and matches my limited experience chatting with husband seekers online (I'm grateful for your help here). I have only found one Pinay I'm attracted to enough to even consider marrying (and it might be a very different feeling meeting her in person) she is 33 5'5" 99lbs without the typical wide phili nose (we have chatted cam to cam and will continue to chat and I may meet her in Davao). She might look ordinary to most men but there is a certain physical look that works for me and she has it. Anyway, when she mentioned to me that the man she was previously engaged had left her two years ago and married someone else; I asked her if he was foreigner or local man. She told me he was a local man. So I asked her how old he was and she told me he was the same age as her 33 (31 at the time). Of course I was shocked! LOL. This happened since I made my first post to this thread that you are commenting on. Now her answer makes complete sense.[/QUOTE]

As someone else said, if you are really hung up about taller girls then China and especially northern China is probably a better hunting ground. Dalian and the nearby Qingtao are noted for cute and relatively tall girls. My guess on average 1 or 2 inches taller than in the Phils. What does that mean: if you have a minimum height requirement of say 5ft 6in, my guess is that only 3% of Phil girls will qualify whereas in Dalian maybe 12% would pass muster.

The downside with Chinese girls is that (1) they will only tolerate say a 15-20 year age gap max. If you are looking and tall slim and good looking girls you may struggle as in China the whole country is very height conscious and tall girls are highly prized, so you would have plenty of local competition. The upside to Chinese girls (and I have lived with 3) is that they are much more academic and hard working so if you are looking for brains ans well as beauty they are an option. Of course English is a real issue and you are de facto fishing from a 10% pool of relatively educated girls who speak reasonable English whereas in the Phils maybe 40% of the girls speak enough English to contemplate marrying. In China you are not going to be marrying into a large and expensive family.

Although the Philippines is not home to the prettiest girls in Asia in my view ,(I would say Vietnam wins there) the demand/supply situation is such that it should be possible for a reasonable 50s/60s Western guy to end up with a really attractive say 25-30 year old. Though in practice many of the girls that such guys actually do pick are regarded as "exotica" (ie really not so attractive) by Filipinos and old Phils hands alike. If you can lower your height expectations to say 5ft 4in the pool you would be fishing from would be say 15% of girls of that age and your chances of getting one with the right looks/personality attitude/education/background/morals etc are MUCH higher. Ultimately in my view these characteristics are MUCH more important than a couple of inches height.

From the quality of your writing, I would say that you need to concentrate almost exclusively on graduates/ college students. A sexy high school grad can be fun for a few days maybe a month, but eventually you will get bored with her and if you did marry her she would probably have limited employment options back home.

If i were looking for a wife in the Phils I would probably kick off in the big cities of Mindanao such as Davao, CDO. This is because though Mindanao has maybe 30% of the population it gets maybe 5% of the foreign visitors. This is bad news if you want easy sex as the girls are more conservative but better news if you are hunting for a wife who hasnt become jaded by exposure to loads of foreign guys.

Personally I would also insist on girls who were either bisexual or at least open to threesomes with other girls, as who wants to be limited to one girl of have to cheat and sneak ones way through life.

[QUOTE=Doingourduty]My plan was to fly in mid July but after checking airfares I'm now looking at Sep/Oct timeframe (40% saving; $1500 versus $900 round trip LUX to MNL Jul versus Sep). Any tricks on where to find the best airfares? I've been using the various online reservation search engines and websites and it seems like I'm finding the lowest fairs (but who knows I haven't traveled for 20 years or so and hunting airfare is new to me; maybe I'm missing something?). I notice some websites promote a very low fare LUX to MNL with no ability to check online details. But when you call their toll free number they quickly clarify the cost of the flight for the date searched for on their website is actually much higher then the teaser rate they showed (of course it wasn't a real search engine but you don't know that at first if you're a newbie like me). These types of websites have the highest prices relative to Expedia or Orbitz. Also I noticed the number of hours between departure and final destination arrival can vary significantly for any given round trip airfare price when working through the raw data available on Expedia. Now I see what a good travel agent does to consider all the possibilities to prepare the best possible itinerary for a customer. I'll stick to using Expedia unless someone has a better idea. I'm guessing that if I book now for Sep/Oct time frame I'll get the best flight combinations (to minimize travel time) at the best price since the best combinations surely sell-out first. Am I getting the hang of this or someone has a "go-to" travel agent who always works miracles? Or do any of the foreign airlines provide online booking with specials not carried on Expedia? TIA for any comments or help.

P.S. This post might be helpful to any lurkers out there planning their first trip. Which has me wondering if I should be posting this on a thread other than "Chat Rooms and Pen Pals)? I'm as new to ISG as I am international travel and specifically the Philippines. Seems natural to post here since everyone has been so friendly and helpful. Imagine it makes sense to get hotel near the manila airport since I'll be returning to Manila for my return flight to LAX after visiting Cebu and Davao?[/QUOTE]

For that time frame check Hawaiian Air. You should be able to book round trip under $900.

[QUOTE=Doingourduty]My plan was to fly in mid July but after checking airfares I'm now looking at Sep/Oct timeframe (40% saving; $1500 versus $900 round trip LUX to MNL Jul versus Sep). Any tricks on where to find the best airfares? I've been using the various online reservation search engines and websites and it seems like I'm finding the lowest fairs (but who knows I haven't traveled for 20 years or so and hunting airfare is new to me; maybe I'm missing something?). I notice some websites promote a very low fare LUX to MNL with no ability to check online details. But when you call their toll free number they quickly clarify the cost of the flight for the date searched for on their website is actually much higher then the teaser rate they showed (of course it wasn't a real search engine but you don't know that at first if you're a newbie like me). These types of websites have the highest prices relative to Expedia or Orbitz. Also I noticed the number of hours between departure and final destination arrival can vary significantly for any given round trip airfare price when working through the raw data available on Expedia. Now I see what a good travel agent does to consider all the possibilities to prepare the best possible itinerary for a customer. I'll stick to using Expedia unless someone has a better idea. I'm guessing that if I book now for Sep/Oct time frame I'll get the best flight combinations (to minimize travel time) at the best price since the best combinations surely sell-out first. Am I getting the hang of this or someone has a "go-to" travel agent who always works miracles? Or do any of the foreign airlines provide online booking with specials not carried on Expedia? TIA for any comments or help.

P.S. This post might be helpful to any lurkers out there planning their first trip. Which has me wondering if I should be posting this on a thread other than "Chat Rooms and Pen Pals)? I'm as new to ISG as I am international travel and specifically the Philippines. Seems natural to post here since everyone has been so friendly and helpful. Imagine it makes sense to get hotel near the manila airport since I'll be returning to Manila for my return flight to LAX after visiting Cebu and Davao?[/QUOTE]

You should be aware that the rainy season runs from about June to October. That said I quit like the Phils in the rainy season. generally it doesnt rain all the days or all the time and the weather is a bit cooler.

Personally I'm not keen on Manila , poluted expensive dirty and would head straight for Angeles where you can find decent value hotels and meet up with a load of like minded guys to get your feet. Personally I'm not a big fan of the bar scene and if you are semi interested in a serious relationship you should probably head south. I'm not sure how long your trip will last or whether your sole focus will be as many girls as possible. If you want to mix sexy fun with beautiful scenery consider a trip to Palawan and visit Honda Bay and El Nido. Open minded girls are a bit thin on the ground in Palawan especially if you are fussy re height, if you are not i have a number of good contacts so you may wish to BYOB. but the pics/experience you will get if you have a beautiful girl sitting on an outrigger as you pass through the islands of El Nido are of a completely different order than in say Cebu or Davao. Of course for many guys that's irrelevant, they have 6 months of spunk backed up and just want to root as many chicks as possible.

[QUOTE=GregLondon]As someone else said, if you are really hung up about taller girls then China and especially northern China is probably a better hunting ground. Dalian and the nearby Qingtao are noted for cute and relatively tall girls. My guess on average 1 or 2 inches taller than in the Phils. What does that mean: if you have a minimum height requirement of say 5ft 6in, my guess is that only 3% of Phil girls will qualify whereas in Dalian maybe 12% would pass muster.

The downside with Chinese girls is that (1) they will only tolerate say a 15-20 year age gap max. If you are looking and tall slim and good looking girls you may struggle as in China the whole country is very height conscious and tall girls are highly prized, so you would have plenty of local competition. The upside to Chinese girls (and I have lived with 3) is that they are much more academic and hard working so if you are looking for brains ans well as beauty they are an option. Of course English is a real issue and you are de facto fishing from a 10% pool of relatively educated girls who speak reasonable English whereas in the Phils maybe 40% of the girls speak enough English to contemplate marrying. In China you are not going to be marrying into a large and expensive family.

Although the Philippines is not home to the prettiest girls in Asia in my view ,(I would say Vietnam wins there) the demand/supply situation is such that it should be possible for a reasonable 50s/60s Western guy to end up with a really attractive say 25-30 year old. Though in practice many of the girls that such guys actually do pick are regarded as "exotica" (ie really not so attractive) by Filipinos and old Phils hands alike. If you can lower your height expectations to say 5ft 4in the pool you would be fishing from would be say 15% of girls of that age and your chances of getting one with the right looks/personality attitude/education/background/morals etc are MUCH higher. Ultimately in my view these characteristics are MUCH more important than a couple of inches height.

From the quality of your writing, I would say that you need to concentrate almost exclusively on graduates/ college students. A sexy high school grad can be fun for a few days maybe a month, but eventually you will get bored with her and if you did marry her she would probably have limited employment options back home.

If i were looking for a wife in the Phils I would probably kick off in the big cities of Mindanao such as Davao, CDO. This is because though Mindanao has maybe 30% of the population it gets maybe 5% of the foreign visitors. This is bad news if you want easy sex as the girls are more conservative but better news if you are hunting for a wife who hasnt become jaded by exposure to loads of foreign guys.

Personally I would also insist on girls who were either bisexual or at least open to threesomes with other girls, as who wants to be limited to one girl of have to cheat and sneak ones way through life.[/QUOTE]Greg, your posts are always filled with so much relevant information you have me back-pedaling now and double-checking my decisions. Thanks again. I've not yet booked my flight so I want to quickly consider northern China now (given my height preference) if for no other reason to make sure I have no regrets following through with my plans for Philippines. Would I have as much fun looking for the right girl in Dalian as I would in Manilla/Cebu/Davao? I'm attracted to the low expense of vacationing in Philippines along with the high degree of local mongering action should I not find my girl (could I expect a similar experience in Dalian)? Aside from finding a girl to possibly marry (yes tall and educated counts for marriage) I am also looking for an overdue and relaxing vacation filled with ample poon regardless of my success finding my one in a million. I'm not looking for free sex nor the professionals but rather the GFE offering gifts for overnight company, sex and companionship. I'm a business owner recovering from a hard hit economy so overall total trip cost matters (as much as I would probably want to pay for a professional 10 at some point during my travels I'd probably resist the temptation to save some coin).

[QUOTE=Blackangst]For that time frame check Hawaiian Air. You should be able to book round trip under $900.[/QUOTE]Best I can find on HA right from their website is $928 SanDiego/Manila. That's about $30 more than Expedia search (but haven't checked Expedia search lately and fares seem to change all the time and could be higher now). Thanks for the reference. Nice to have some airlines to check with directly.

Need Advice. Who uses the term "tour guide" when talking with a lady, or do you say "romantic touring" or "lover and tour guide".

[QUOTE=Doingourdutyreason to make sure I have no regrets following through with my plans for Philippines. Would I have as much fun looking for the right girl in Dalian as I would in Manilla/Cebu/Davao? QUOTE]Philippines Philippines Philippines! Theres no contest, unless your Mandarin is seriously fluent. Chinese women can be warm and engaging but will never ever equal the "loving feeling" that a cute Filipina can provide.

Chinese women can be wary and aloof of a horny guy and need a few dates (I lived in China for 4 years) to get warm and friendly. Filipinas. Have a higher hormone (horniness!) content it seems.

[QUOTE=Doingourduty]...........
I've not yet booked my flight so I want to quickly consider northern China now (given my height preference) if for no other reason to make sure I have no regrets following through with my plans for Philippines. Would I have as much fun looking for the right girl in Dalian as I would in Manilla/Cebu/Davao? I'm attracted to the low expense of vacationing in Philippines along with the high degree of local mongering action should I not find my girl (could I expect a similar experience in Dalian)? Aside from finding a girl to possibly marry (yes tall and educated counts for marriage) I am also looking for an overdue and relaxing vacation filled with ample poon regardless of my success finding my one in a million. I'm not looking for free sex nor the professionals but rather the GFE offering gifts for overnight company, sex and companionship. I'm a business owner recovering from a hard hit economy so overall total trip cost matters (as much as I would probably want to pay for a professional 10 at some point during my travels I'd probably resist the temptation to save some coin).[/QUOTE]

With all due respect DYD I think you are over-organising your trip.
Just decide on 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 places to go. You can never know who or what you will find, so just relax and wait for it to happen.
And DONT even mention you are looking for a wife to ANYONE until you find her.
You may well sit next to your future wife on the plane as you fly over here and then all your plans will come to nothing because you will change them anyway so you can be with HER.
There are tall slim desirable girls EVERYWHERE in the world - the detailed internal debates that you are having in your mind in advance will cause so much stress for you that you will end up needing your holiday to recover from your pre-planning.
Sorry about the CAPS but I am trying to yell at you LOL.

[QUOTE=Doingourduty]Best I can find on HA right from their website is $928 SanDiego/Manila. That's about $30 more than Expedia search (but haven't checked Expedia search lately and fares seem to change all the time and could be higher now). Thanks for the reference. Nice to have some airlines to check with directly.[/QUOTE]

Ah ok..prices may have gone up a bit. The thing about Hawaiian...no overseas layovers. Your layover is in Honolulu, and then direct from there to Manila. I prefer this as opposed to say Singapore or Hong Kong. Also make sure and look at the monthly view when requesting quotes...the day before or after may save you some $$$.

[quote=doingourduty]greg, your posts are always filled with so much relevant information you have me back-pedaling now and double-checking my decisions. thanks again. i've not yet booked my flight so i want to quickly consider northern china now (given my height preference) if for no other reason to make sure i have no regrets following through with my plans for philippines. would i have as much fun looking for the right girl in dalian as i would in manilla/cebu/davao? i'm attracted to the low expense of vacationing in philippines along with the high degree of local mongering action should i not find my girl (could i expect a similar experience in dalian)? aside from finding a girl to possibly marry (yes tall and educated counts for marriage) i am also looking for an overdue and relaxing vacation filled with ample poon regardless of my success finding my one in a million. i'm not looking for free sex nor the professionals but rather the gfe offering gifts for overnight company, sex and companionship. i'm a business owner recovering from a hard hit economy so overall total trip cost matters (as much as i would probably want to pay for a professional 10 at some point during my travels i'd probably resist the temptation to save some coin).[/quote]

given your stated objectives go to the phils. it would be crazy to go to dalian instead just because the girls are an inch or two taller on average. the p4p scene in china is overpriced and poor quality compared with elsewhere in asia. china is excellent hunting grounds for 30s40s guys looking for romantic adventures but requires some level of attractiveness and skill. all you need in phils is a heart beat and you should be fine.

in general

1 plan your itinerary according to where you want to go and then look for girls in those areas rather than rep001ter gunning dia and spending all your time flying around the phils meeting particular girls.

2 if you are looking for scenery beaches etc and not just an endless series of girls include places such as palawan, dumaguete/apo island/ bohol, malapascua, banaue (rice terraces), boracay in your plans as well as the big cities. in general its more difficult to find "open minded girls " in such places so unless you find some on dia or tagged (better for remote places) figure on bringing a girl from one of the population centres.

3 many girls will be delighted to come on free holidays to such places often it will be their first holiday they have taken ever.

4 rk is right you can overplan these things however those of us living /hanging out in the phils should remember a how many pitfalls a newbie asian traveller can make so asking lots of questions is actually pretty smart and b for those stuck in the sexual jail of us/eu/oz/nz actually planning these things and chatting to endless girls on dia is a big part of the pleasure of the whole thing. we cant all be on endless jollies kicking around asia, somebody has to be working to keep the lights on back home

[quote=greglondon]
................
in general

1 plan your itinerary according to where you want to go and then look for girls in those areas rather than rep001ter gunning dia and spending all your time flying around the phils meeting particular girls.

2 if you are looking for scenery beaches etc and not just an endless series of girls include places such as palawan, dumaguete/apo island/ bohol, malapascua, banaue (rice terraces), boracay in your plans as well as the big cities.................
[/quote]

re 1. i agree. pick 2 or 3 places (not ac if you want a wife) and just scout around.

re 2. travel is not that easy in the philippines and is frequently time-consuming. i have been working from north to south for 13 years here and it becomes very tiring especially if you have to fend for yourself (i dont as i have drivers waiting for me).
a trip to banaue (rice terraces) will take you a full day or a day and a half if you stay over. even with a simple manila to cebu trip it will take 4 - 5 hours out of your day hotel to hotel as you have to add on around 2 hours at the beginning to ensure that you get to the airport through the traffic and into the terminal with security checks. 1.25 hr for the flight and another 3/4 hr travel at the other end.

i am just giving you advance warning. remember that it is a relatively undeveloped country and the further away from the big cities then the more rustic the facilities and infrastructure becomes.

[QUOTE=Julian W]Need Advice. Who uses the term "tour guide" when talking with a lady, or do you say "romantic touring" or "lover and tour guide".[/QUOTE]

Many girls would love the idea of being a "tour guide" as it implies a free trip and probably some payment. The difficulty is that using that term leads the question of sex open, and you really dont want someone on the pay roll who is not providing the required services. In terms of being a real tour guide, most of the girls will be pretty useless as few have travelled extensively, most will not appreciate the types of places westerners will want to go to and stay in.

"girl friend" implies too much in the phils - meet the parents and fairly serious. Probably "special companion" is what you are looking for and if she asks what that is say someone who can accompany you on your travels, sleep together and whatever else you are looking for

[QUOTE=Red Kilt]With all due respect DYD I think you are over-organising your trip.
Just decide on 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 places to go. You can never know who or what you will find, so just relax and wait for it to happen.

And DONT even mention you are looking for a wife to ANYONE until you find her.
You may well sit next to your future wife on the plane as you fly over here and then all your plans will come to nothing because you will change them anyway so you can be with HER.

There are tall slim desirable girls EVERYWHERE in the world - the detailed internal debates that you are having in your mind in advance will cause so much stress for you that you will end up needing your holiday to recover from your pre-planning.
Sorry about the CAPS but I am trying to yell at you LOL.[/QUOTE]LOL OK RK

Your point is well taken. In fact I will do exactly what you've suggested by the time I touch down in Manila to start my adventure (even without your warning). Meaning I will visit some major cities but also have some out of the way scenic locations in mind to visit with an appropriate companion (should I meet one who speaks good enough English and looks especially good to me) and I want to be flexible on the ground since I expect my plans could easily change depending on circumstances (I. E. The woman sitting next to me on the flight over; that would be nice). I should point out that after I made the post you're commenting, I pretty quickly got back on track to follow through with my original plans for the reasons you mention (and the fact that the Philippines appear to be the best value for my travel dollar everything taken into account).

I agree it's not wise to mention anything about wife shopping, but I will have one or maybe two meetings with women I have met on DIA/CB who I have been cam to cam recently. In those cases both are very aware I'm coming to Philippines to meet as many women as possible and that even if we have a great date together I will make no decisions about becoming serious until after I return home. And after I return home it may take me several months to sort out my experiences and get back to them (and only then would it be possible for a serious relationship to begin online with no guarantees of a positive outcome). They seem ok with that. Eventually I'll report back here whether it was wise or not.

I would be stressed if I didn't think through the possibilities before I book my flight and make my plans; my plans on the ground will be simple and open ended to provide lots of flexibility. My internal debate will conclude with a simple plan. If you still think I'm missing your point or making a mistake please comment again. I appreciate your experience and insight because I'm very obviously the *FNG here excited about making his first trip to your neck of the woods.

*FNG = Fucking New Guy

[QUOTE=Red Kilt]I am just giving you advance warning. Remember that it is a relatively undeveloped country and the further away from the big cities then the more rustic the facilities and infrastructure becomes.[/QUOTE]And don't plan your schedule back to back.

Like the time I flew to a far away island, and the travel was fun, at below pressurised level, in a BN - 2, and upon arriving in a 400 meter strip, when I asked the pilot if my return in two days is confirmed, he said something which I didn't understand. And later it turned out there had been a storm warning, and the flight didn't reach me until 4 days later - either the flight or risking a 24 hour ferry ride back to civilisation.

Ever since then, I don't plan anything back to back, even within Manila, as hours of delays are not very uncommon.

[quote=greglondon]given your stated objectives go to the phils. it would be crazy to go to dalian instead just because the girls are an inch or two taller on average. the p4p scene in china is overpriced and poor quality compared with elsewhere in asia. china is excellent hunting grounds for 30s40s guys looking for romantic adventures but requires some level of attractiveness and skill. all you need in phils is a heart beat and you should be fine.

in general

1 plan your itinerary according to where you want to go and then look for girls in those areas rather than rep001ter gunning dia and spending all your time flying around the phils meeting particular girls.

2 if you are looking for scenery beaches etc and not just an endless series of girls include places such as palawan, dumaguete/apo island/ bohol, malapascua, banaue (rice terraces), boracay in your plans as well as the big cities. in general its more difficult to find "open minded girls " in such places so unless you find some on dia or tagged (better for remote places) figure on bringing a girl from one of the population centres.

3 many girls will be delighted to come on free holidays to such places often it will be their first holiday they have taken ever.

4 rk is right you can overplan these things however those of us living /hanging out in the phils should remember a how many pitfalls a newbie asian traveller can make so asking lots of questions is actually pretty smart and b for those stuck in the sexual jail of us/eu/oz/nz actually planning these things and chatting to endless girls on dia is a big part of the pleasure of the whole thing. we can't all be on endless jollies kicking around asia, somebody has to be working to keep the lights on back home[/quote]gl,

thanks again for all your help. i actually decided against china after reading the isg china threads although i realize now that i find (in general) the facial appearance of chinese girls more attractive than philippinos (in addition to the height difference discussed here earlier). i notice many of the available china dolls 35 to 40 do not want men older than 45 or 50 so i get your point about hunting ground for 30s40s guys leaves me out. btw can you explain what happens to the faces of phili women as they get older; seems like their faces get puffy or bloated? i'm not meaning to be crude because i have a lot of respect for the philippine people, their culture and their women. is it something in their diet? or the result of just living a hard life in a hot humid climate with a lot of stress?

i especially like #3 (and ideas in #2) if i meet someone of interest in the major city (or less likely one of my dia contacts). regarding dia; i am a single man running a small business by myself living alone and just burnt-out with the local dating scene. so your insight is spot-on because i do feel as if i am in a sexual prison (and i would add an emotional/intimacy prison as well when it comes to companionship with the opposite sex) although i am single and free to date anyone i want in the states. so you're exactly right that part of the fun is to hunt on dia. but i want to clarify that i'm in no way planning my trip around meeting a bunch of pre-arranged contacts with women from the dating sites (i think that would be crazy although i may scan dia on location when there are no other options). there's no substitute for being on the ground and meeting women for the first time in person face to face to know my interest. i have looked at hundreds of profiles online and chatted with hundreds of girls; and from all that there is one girl i talk to once a week who looks very good to me and i will look forward to taking her out on a date. do i think i will have the same feelings about her after i meet her in person? i have no idea. if i had to guess not better than a 50/50 chance so it could certainly be a waste of time but it sure feels good right now.