I just can't "take it" anymore...
And have to put in my "$. 02"!
After continually reading the, seemingly, "never ending", pathetic reports of "mongering"(if under the circumstances, you can call it that!) of AMPs/MPs in the Melbourne area!
How on "God's green earth" can you chaps pay $70++ for something you CAN DO YOURSELVES for, too often, a mediocre, or worse, "massage" from, again, too often, an older, out-of-shape, unattractive SP?
And dare to call it a HE(happy ending) no less!
I certainly wouldn't be happy if this all the service I could get for $70++! LOL!
For what this is worth...
G'Day to all yous,
Let's crack open a bottle of champers, and let's raise our glasses to toast firstly, to Jackson for maintaining such an excellent resource, this, OUR ISG; secondly, to the New Year, thirdly to all you intrepid adventurous freemen, mongers who are at liberty to explore and score. (AND report.). (NB here, the writer is turning a deep tone of green with envy). Last and least, to my first posting to the forum, my first since I began enjoying the adventures you all had and will still have on my behalf.
(I know it is a wee bit late to toast to the New Year, but hell, the Coptics just celebrated Christmas. So, better to be late, if late, than never).
My sincerest apologies for just reading but not writing. I have had nothing to write since I am still serving a life sentence, which began when I signed a piece of paper after muttering the words ". At#$%&*".
My life incarceration, if you care enough to know, is for voluntary matrimony.
I have done a lot of reading this forum to prepare, just in case, for the moment there is an opportunity for a jail break, or if and when I get time off for good behaviour. (Reading is important:. Remember the catch-cry "RTFF"?). If and when my jail break or leave occurs, I hope it will be "sans warden-in-tow".
BUT, although it is a life sentence I am serving, I am not complaining. No one else has the privileges I have.! However, when one has lamb chops, doesn't one dream of steak. With gravy and side salad.? (salad undressed of course).
Indeed, I could have had written some reports on my exploits in the bygone epoch I could call "the good old days" but I have a strong inkling none of you is interested in reading a thesis on the adventures of a horny prehistoric relic. So the memories will be interred with this old bone, the only hope is that bone will still be so rigid they'd have to dig a deeper hole in the ground to accommodate it.
To get to the point of my cuntribution, I want to point mongers (in Australia, especially in Melbourne), to a MILF whose quim desires your attention.
You will ask, "Have YOU done your duty?"
Well, it's like this: whenever my parrot sees her, it says, "Polly wants a CRACK'ER."
But I always hear Percy say, "I have better taste than that! "
This is not to put any of you off your aim for the quim but indeed to encourage and URGE you on. Don't you have the URGE? Like Grand Central, every train has been through, some just for a whistle stop. Her gardener, electrician and plumber to name a few.
It is not difficult to land her: it isn't like Moby Dick on his whale hunt, (although she is the size of a whale), it is more like fly-fishing for cunning trout, (cunning she is, although, a trout definitely she is not!).
To be fair to her, she WAS quite attractive when she wanted to B. Imagine going from size 16 to size 8 to land what she had baited into her bed. She even has that typical "fuck me" face and a name to match. Well, I suppose not everyone can retain a youthful look.
But it is a pity, because she could be "attractive" in that area if she lost a quarter of her blubbery mess (I know the correct spelling is with an "a"): she's really let herself go.
She is a real screamer. No, not a screamer like in siren, far from it; by screamer, I mean, by gosh, I have heard her. Just bring condoms and ear-plugs. I have heard her. Wow, she's deafening!
Just to be brief about your certainty of striking a gusher, I'll background you on the situation.
After she got "what she wanted"* from her third husband (the Gardener), she threw him out by relocating him to a small unit, allowed him access to their one son (now a teenager) only on weekends, and denies him conjugal rights. Poor chap, he even offered to pay her for it!
Gardener, Poor Gardener, initially he was paid to cut the grass. But he did such a good job on the front yard, she asked him to do her backyard. (I am positive she will insist on her backyard tended to when you become her "gardener"). Then he was asked to tend to her private patch. He quickly planted a few seeds, tended one seedling and fertilised it well. Hence, only one scion.
The above is just a brief job description. The Mission IS Possible! The task is easy!
The position is open. The private patch needs attention
The successful applicants (mongers) must think on their dicks, seeing that they may have to make cold calls, like ringing her doorbell or whatever one does to get "IT". **
But once the door opens, it is no longer a COLD call, is it? It HAD better get HOT from there on in.
Like Grand Central, every train has to run to a time table. If you are interested in pulling into the station, please coordinate your arrivals and departures. When you play choo-choo train, you must remember not all trains can go into the tunnel at the same time, huh, boys? We do not wish to see you involved in a train wreck, any of you. ***
* "what she wanted": (Maybe it is not politic to discuss on the forum at this time. I may elaborate on this in my PM's).
** I will prime you if it helps.
*** PM me. I'll give you the low down. When there is a bunch of you, I'll brief you. Heh, heh, in return for reports.
Please read my second and third contributions in "Special Interests". And please take this for what it is without flaming.
[size=-2][b][u]EDITOR'S NOTE[/u]:[/b] [blue]I would suggest that the author or another Forum Member consider posting a link to this report in the Reports of Distinction thread. Please [url=http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/announcement-reportsofdistinction.php]Click Here[/url] for more information.[/blue][/size]
For what this is worth...
G’day to all yous,
Let’s crack open a bottle of champers, and let's raise our glasses to toast firstly, to Jackson for maintaining such an excellent resource, this, OUR ISG; secondly, to the New Year, thirdly to all you intrepid adventurous freemen, mongers who are at liberty to explore and score. (AND report...). (NB here, the writer is turning a deep tone of green with envy). Last and least, to my first posting to the forum, my first since I began enjoying the adventures you all had and will still have on my behalf.
(I know it is a wee bit late to toast to the New Year, but hell, the Coptics just celebrated Christmas. So, better to be late, if late, than never).
My sincerest apologies for just reading but not writing. I have had nothing to write since I am still serving a life sentence, which began when I signed a piece of paper after muttering the words "...@#$%^&*...".
My life incarceration, if you care enough to know, is for voluntary matrimony.
I have done a lot of reading this forum to prepare, just in case, for the moment there is an opportunity for a jail break, or if and when I get time off for good behaviour. (Reading is important:.. remember the catch-cry "RTFF"?). If and when my jail break or leave occurs, I hope it will be "sans warden-in-tow".
BUT, although it is a life sentence I am serving, I am not complaining. No one else has the privileges I have...!!! However, when one has lamb chops, doesn't one dream of steak... with gravy and side salad...? (salad undressed of course).
Indeed, I could have had written some reports on my exploits in the bygone epoch I could call "the good old days" but I have a strong inkling none of you is interested in reading a thesis on the adventures of a horny prehistoric relic. So the memories will be interred with this old bone, the only hope is that bone will still be so rigid they’d have to dig a deeper hole in the ground to accommodate it.
To get to the point of my cuntribution, I want to point mongers (in Australia, especially in Melbourne), to a MILF whose quim desires your attention.
You will ask, "Have YOU done your duty...?"
Well, it's like this: whenever my parrot sees her, it says, "Polly wants a CRACK'ER..."
But I always hear Percy say, "I have better taste than that...!"
This is not to put any of you off your aim for the quim but indeed to encourage and URGE you on. Don't you have the URGE? Like Grand Central, every train has been through, some just for a whistle stop. Her gardener, electrician and plumber to name a few...
It is not difficult to land her: it isn’t like Moby Dick on his whale hunt, (although she is the size of a whale), it is more like fly-fishing for cunning trout, (cunning she is, although, a trout definitely she is not!).
To be fair to her, she WAS quite attractive when she wanted to be. Imagine going from size 16 to size 8 to land what she had baited into her bed. She even has that typical “fuck me” face and a name to match. Well, I suppose not everyone can retain a youthful look.
But it is a pity, because she could be “attractive” in that area if she lost a quarter of her blubbery mess (I know the correct spelling is with an "a"): she’s really let herself go.
She is a real screamer. No, not a screamer like in siren, far from it; by screamer, I mean, by gosh, I have heard her. Just bring condoms and ear-plugs. I have heard her... Wow, she’s deafening…!!!
Just to be brief about your certainty of striking a gusher, I'll background you on the situation...
After she got "what she wanted"* from her third husband (the Gardener), she threw him out by relocating him to a small unit, allowed him access to their one son (now a teenager) only on weekends, and denies him conjugal rights. Poor chap, he even offered to pay her for it...!!!
Gardener, Poor Gardener, initially he was paid to cut the grass. But he did such a good job on the front yard, she asked him to do her backyard. (I am positive she will insist on her backyard tended to when you become her “gardener”). Then he was asked to tend to her private patch... He quickly planted a few seeds, tended one seedling and fertilised it well... Hence, only one scion...
The above is just a brief job description. The Mission IS Possible! The task is easy!
The position is open. The private patch needs attention…
The successful applicants (mongers) must think on their dicks, seeing that they may have to make cold calls, like ringing her doorbell or whatever one does to get “IT”.**
But once the door opens, it is no longer a COLD call, is it? It HAD better get HOT from there on in...
Like Grand Central, every train has to run to a time table. If you are interested in pulling into the station, please coordinate your arrivals and departures. When you play choo-choo train, you must remember not all trains can go into the tunnel at the same time, huh, boys? We do not wish to see you involved in a train wreck, any of you.***
* "what she wanted": (Maybe it is not politic to discuss on the forum at this time. I may elaborate on this in my PM’s).
** I will prime you if it helps...
*** PM me. I’ll give you the low down. When there is a bunch of you, I’ll brief you. Heh, heh, in return for reports.
Please read my second and third contributions in "Special Interests". And please take this for what it is without flaming.