FKK Artemis - Berlin

[QUOTE=Jason Mak;1201809]Is the food that bad inside? Thanks for the tips. How do English speakers get by in Berlin / Frankfurt?Mak[/QUOTE] Herr Mak -you can relax on multiple fronts. Respectfully disagree about security & food advice. Artemis (indeed all FKKs) has video-observed little cash lockers where one and all safely store their Rolexes, smart phones, and diamond rings. Not an issue. Food: it's a little heavy, typical N. German cooking, and it can be uneven, but on a good night, more than adequate. While others do occasionally go out, IMHO not really worth the hassle of extra expense and travel outside for a better meal (the food better at Palace Frankfurt than Artemis). Anyway you are not there for the meals and really, it's fine. As with the quantity and quality of the girls themselves, I think the food is better on busier nights, Wed-Sat.

On the language issue-it is not. Most everyone in both cities understands and speaks enough English that you'll be fine. If you learn the German for "sorry I can't speak German-do you speak a little English" then you have made the polite gesture that many locals will appreciate. As in,"Es tut mir lied (or even just "Sorry"), ich kann nicht auf Deutsch reden. Sprechen Sie ein bischen Englisch"? If you say this well enough, it will raise the deep philosophical question, how you can speak German so well if you cannot speak German, surely to go down well in the land of Kant.

While not like say the Netherlands or Scandinavia, where many locals speak English better than English tourists, Frankfurt is a key global banking and trading center, military post, and travel hub. Berlin is one of the official world wild cities, home to designer wannabees, cybernauts, biotechers, auteurs, artistes, and oh yes by the way a large population of 'tutes (see the biblical Angus Magee blogs and guide service). Both cities are always full of foreigners and can cope fine with English. As many (most) of the girls in FKKs are either foreigners themselves, or used to kilometers of multi-culti Liebes Würstchens, all speak more than enough English to get tongues and poles in the right holes. The language stuff is perhaps slightly more of an issue in private bordellos and apartments, but only marginally. You are not in Kansas anymore Todo, but you will understand and be understood. Really, don't worry about any of these things, just cum and enjoy the ride.

With all do respect to Norjan: Expert tip-When reading internet forums take some time to read a poster's past posts. Then take what some posters write as a reflection of their own inner experience (neurosis?) , not as "how things are".

The food at Artemis is exactly as RB states. It is generally quite decent with a few not so good dishes from time to time. If you visit weekly you will probably get sick of it and want to eat out. For a one time visit, it is fine and gets the job done.

As for the rest I, for once, agree completely with everything RB says.

AM

Jason. I have erred in my German below. It should be "Es tut mir leid" (not lied). Or just say,"Sorry aber." Trendy Denglish. Sorry for the misspelling-these things matter here.

The truth is, I am not my sharp self, coming off a rough, long night from the Artemis 6th Birthday Party, where I had been kidnapped and taken prisoner, with no small bit of encouragement if not outright collaboration by the infamous local cuntisour, Baron Angus von Magee and the manager, Herr Kennen. Their joint mission is to corrupt my soul and destabilize my mind. Quite the spectacle with full steer roasting on a spit, live band, tent city, fireworks, champagne. Very busy night, with some fallout from the Venus Messe. At a very late hour, still guarding my evening's virginity and somewhat underwhelmed by the available talent, I was taken by the Czech or maybe Slovakian Erika, who removed the dark cloud above me, and set off the second round of pm fireworks. Long black hair, lovely full breasts and petite body, and recommended. But now, I am paying the price. I try to quit, but every time, they pull me back in.

[QUOTE=Rocketboy0;1201938]Jason. I have erred in my German below. It should be "Es tut mir leid" (not lied).[/QUOTE]Considering all the tall tales by both buyers and sellers that are to be heard in FKK`s and other Clubs and similar venues providing hobby activities, perhaps your original German,". Mir lied" is both more accurate and correct, Rocket Boy. Thanks!

E.

For my third year is a row I managed to make it to the annual Artemis birthday bash last night. I was in the company of Rocketboy who I met on route as we both decided that bicycles would be the preferred mode of transport on this late September day that almost felt like summer. We pulled up to a full parking lot at shortly after 18:30 and could immediately see that it was to be a busy evening with the double whammy of the birthday bash and the start of the Berlin Venus Show at the near by Messe.

After dragging Rocketboy through the entrance we found out lockers and were soon showered robed and uncomfortable shod in the much anticipated new bath sandals. (Expert tip # 50678-Grab a pair of sandals that are a bit bigger than your usual shoe size until the new sandals stretch out a bit. I usually take a size 45/46 but was uncomfortable so I switched up and they were perfect.)

I have to say the place was hopping as I had not seen it is a long time. My last couple of visits were in the mid week summer days and this was Artemis as I remembered it from the glory days. Languages being spoken were many and varied as I noted visitors from Italy, Scandinavia and France to name a few. The dress code for the ladies was pink or white and the evening was shaping up to be like Dessous Tag on steroids as the ladies preened and posed in their finery. I know many of you do not like this covering up but for this reporter it was a dream come true and I very much was enjoying all the scantily clad ladies looking their best.

RB and I took a tour of the facilities, including a visit to the food tent set up for this event, but both agreed that the spitted steer would have to wait until later. Whatever else one may think of the FKK party, this evening's food was to be a real treat for meat lovers. Nothing at all like a full steer roasting slowly over an open fire pit to bring out the cave man in you.

My own agenda for the evening was, first, to determine if the Pink Panther was present, session with her and put to rest the question of pink Bush once and for all. Failing this I would find either Nina or Fatima with similar result. Nina in fact had the slight edge on Fatima as I had just two weeks prior been with Fatima. As absence makes the heart grow fonder, Nina was the front runner. As luck would have it I spotted Nina as we were arriving so I knew she was there, but shortly after I had seen Fatima so she was still in the running,

After a hour or so of wandering I was pretty sure that PP was to be a no show this evening. Schade. However, in the main bar I ran into Nina and after a short conversation she asked me if we were to find a room or wait until later perhaps. No hesitation on my part and we were up the stairs waiting for a room less than a minute later. At this hour the room wait was brief (it was to become much longer later on) and the next half hour was spent in the arms of one of the best (IMO) that Artemis has to offer. I left fully satisfied.

The rest of the evening I spent hanging out, eating (the food was great) , drinking a little and just doing what one generally does at Artemis when not in the rooms. It was by all accounts a pretty raucous evening, one that I have not seen in a while. The fire works were set off shortly after 22:00 with the whole population, robe and towel clad, emptying out into the parking lot, given champagne and ohh-ing & ahh-ing in all the right places. It was a good show and I faithfully recorded it from the shadows to post on the blog for those who are interested.

[url]http://www.angusmagee.com/?p=779[/url]

After this RB was, or seemed to me to be, in full indecision mode. Was he to session on this, possibly (by his account) his last Artemis visit for a year, possibly longer? He seemed determined to find someone, but who? As for me, I was pretty well satisfied with my one. There was a tall, slightly dark skinned and terribly skinny beauty I had half an eye on but I was not overly enthusiastic about making the second trip to the rooms. In the end I did nothing about and was happy about it the next morning when I opened my wallet, if not totally happy at the time of temptation.

There were a couple of note worthy scenes to be seen in the drunken bacchanalia that is the birthday bash. At one point I went off for a shower and noticed that they guy who stumbled in after me had a peculiar dangling off his pecker-a used and full condom that his companion had for some reason failed to remove and dispose of. The dollop dangled precariously throughout the shower time and Old Angus unfortunately could not keep his eyes averted as I was convinced the bag would fall, spilling its' contents on the shower floor and I wanted to be ready to jump out of the way for what could be the worst spill since last year's Gulf oil spill.

Next was the large Turkish fellow who had consumed, it seemed, more than his share of the champagne, or perhaps the open beer bar, then decided he had no need of a robe and came stumbling paralytically up the stairs in glorious nakedness, his pierced 'unit' on full display. He made it as far as one of the couches just inside the bar where he passed out and was still there (mercifully now covered) when I left and hour or so later.

Finally at this late hour RB had settled on his date du jour and after a wait was off to the 'Zimmer'. He came down looking satisfied (see his report) and after a short, unsuccessful forage for food we were changed and on the way home. Got to say that on warm Berlin nights the bike is definitely a great way to get home and avoid the waiting and tension last UBahn / SBahn can bring. I was home in no time and asleep even faster.

Thanks for reading.

AM

[QUOTE=Jason Mak; 1201809]Is the food that bad inside? Thanks for the tips. How do English speakers get by in Berlin / Frankfurt? I have never studied German and only know,"do you have a nickname" and "I must leave in 25 minutes" for comedy value. Are they the kind of cities that welcome tourists and where the locals speak English or am I going to have my work massively cut out, like in Moscow where nobody speaks a word. (I don't mind, I think it's the responsibility of the traveller to learn the local language and not the other way around, but it would be nice to know if I have a lot of homework to do or not.)

Mak[/QUOTE]The food and the dining hall is unappetizing because of the environment with half naked men in robes who, unfortunately, not all of them is taking care too much about their hygiene. This is fact, not an opinion. If this doesn't bother you, you'll be fine.

I don't speak german but it has never been a problem in Berlin.

Norjan

[QUOTE=Angus Magee; 1202005]There were a couple of note worthy scenes to be seen in the drunken bacchanalia that is the birthday bash. At one point I went off for a shower and noticed that they guy who stumbled in after me had a peculiar dangling off his pecker-a used and full condom that his companion had for some reason failed to remove and dispose of. The dollop dangled precariously throughout the shower time and Old Angus unfortunately could not keep his eyes averted as I was convinced the bag would fall, spilling its' contents on the shower floor and I wanted to be ready to jump out of the way for what could be the worst spill since last year's Gulf oil spill.

Next was the large Turkish fellow who had consumed, it seemed, more than his share of the champagne, or perhaps the open beer bar, then decided he had no need of a robe and came stumbling paralytically up the stairs in glorious nakedness, his pierced 'unit' on full display. He made it as far as one of the couches just inside the bar where he passed out and was still there (mercifully now covered) when I left and hour or so later.

AM[/QUOTE]Well, now you know why I'm beeing careful and taking precautions. Things like this happen all the time. Have'nt you noticed before?

You could'nt keep your eyes off his prick? With all do respect, maybe you are the one having a neurosis in this temporarily moment of clarity?

Norjan

[QUOTE=Norjan; 1202189]The food and the dining hall is unappetizing because of the environment with half naked men in robes.

Norjan[/QUOTE]On this I agree with Norjan. I also dislike the setup.

The food is usually decent but eating in a restaurant being served by somebody and having the food and drink I like is one of the things that combine to make my Berlin trip a good experience, on the same level as staying in a decent hotel and fucking good looking girls. So I usually leave and have my dinner elsewhere.

If it's just a matter of not starving, or if it's taken from the economic point of view, the internal restaurant is absolutely adequate.

Ciao.

Kimino

I had a perfectly satisfactory dinner in the club this evening with home-made fishcakes, a baked potato, vegetables and salad, together with celery soup and fresh fruit for dessert. I was accompanied at my table by two very lovely young ladies, who certainly wouldn't have sat with me in a restaurant elsewhere in Berlin. One of them was my regular Berlin squeeze and the other was her friend.

Afterwards my squeeze went off with some other guy and I took a while to choose before I found Cora, who was recommended by a friend of mine who had seen her earlier that evening. A 21 year old tanned blonde from Hamburg, financing her studies with this work, she was responsive in the room and came very nicely in response to my tongue, kissing wasn't her strong point but she did just about pass muster, she looked nice in the mirror doing her BBBJ (with attention to apricots on request) and I enjoyed sex with her in a few positions. Although I wasn't very happy that she rushed me at the end and finished the hour ten minutes early (maybe she was including the 10 mins we spent waiting for the room?).

[QUOTE=Kimino; 1201725]If you come here I suggest you concentrate on good food and wine and save your money for when you are in germany.

Kimino[/QUOTE]Thank you K, here is my plan, but I feel this sorrow I must admit;

Amarone instead of anal.

Pasta instead of pussy.

Tiramisu instead of tits.

Duomo instead of DATY.

Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II instead of GFE.

Orto Botanico di Brera instead of OWO.

No Zimmer, baby.

I happened to be in Berlin on 29th September and made the wise choice to attend the Artemis 6th Birthday bash. I've not visited Artemis before but I've been to a few FKKs in southern germany (Frankfurt etc) , and I'm a regular at Lady Marmalade Parties (LMP) in London, and with the help of reading some of this forum I was comfortable with what I was going to find there.

I arrived around 8pm and there was a bit of a queue to get in, but everything was well explained and felt safe and clean. I had a wander around, checking out the lovely ladies and getting into the general vibe of the party atmosphere. The tented restaurant was serving some very tender Ox meat which washed down well with some cold beer. That provided a bit of sustainance so I went back into the club to find the girls and guys leaving by the front door. Strange I thought. So followed them out, to look back at the fantastic firework display that took place above the Club house. The show went on for about 10 minutes to lots of "ooohssss and aaahhhhhsss" (on this occasion, not restricted to the Kino or the Zimmers.)

Now, I think of going to FKKs and LMP as a bit like being a lucky kid in a candy store, and it is the opportunity to sample many different tastes and flavours from around the world (brazilians are my personal favourite). So tonight was a bit atypical for me! Given there were lot of guys and gals tonight it was always going to be difficult to find the girls available who you wanted to play with, but on this occasion, Ruby (a slightly older Hungarian lady, good looking, friendly and totally awesome in bed!) found me whilst we watched the fireworks and I ended up spending 90 mins and 1hr in her company, managing to cum four times with her and get her to genuinely O rather than fake, twice. Now, I am always wary of the babe siddling up to you and turning a fast one but this was different with Ruby. Whilst I expected clock watching and pressure to cum because there were hundreds of guys out there, it was nothing like that this time. We had a really good time together and whilst I had the intent of playing with some other women, I just felt that going back to a known quality was a better use of money. An example of what I meant: There were two very pretty young blondes who took a guest into one of the tents and he was back out literally 5 minutes later, no doubt €120 lighter. I am sure he had a happy time but I got 1hr of real quality with Ruby for the same price!

I really liked the set up of Artemis (wellness spa area on ground floor) and a Kino (some hot action there) and a few rooms there) , the main bar area (observed sexy but simulated lessie 3 some for 10 mins floor show, good live band) , restaurant (excellent food tonight) , changing rooms and safety boxes on the ground floor and then rooms on the upper floors. Decor was good, showers were clean and lockers all secure.

All in all I spent about 6 hours there and had an awesome experience. Will definitely return!

Just need to find a reason to return to Berlin soon and hopefully find Ruby again (will try a couple more girls too next time if the opportunity arises)

Take care,

Pyramid

Erika of Slovakia restored your virginity, took it away again and restored your faith.

Such an amazing feat in one somewhat cynical must means she's a witch, of sorts, if a comely one.

Given that during prior note comparison we have almost completely non overlapping vendiagrams at Artemis, I hope to rectify that in the next month or so.

[QUOTE=Rocketboy0;1201938]At a very late hour, still guarding my evening's virginity and somewhat underwhelmed by the available talent, I was taken by the Czech or maybe Slovakian Erika, who removed the dark cloud above me, and set off the second round of pm fireworks. Long black hair, lovely full breasts and petite body, and recommended. But now, I am paying the price. I try to quit, but every time, they pull me back in.[/QUOTE]

Thinking of visiting Artemis, however I have one question regarding smoking. Are the girls smoking inside the building and are the customers themselves allowed to smoke inside. If not, where do people smoke? I have a sort of a fetish for smoking. It turns me on seeing a hot girl smoke.

[QUOTE=Bearsk;1202744]Given that during prior note comparison we have almost completely non overlapping vendiagrams at Artemis, I hope to rectify that in the next month or so.[/QUOTE]B- you know more than most it is all part of nature's plan to keep Ven diagrams from overlapping; it helps ensure the survival of the species by increasing the odds that all find a mate with whom to mate, Mate. But I am happy to help share my spheres, or rather hers. Of course YMMV.

On the rest, there is a difference between being cynical, which I am not, and skeptical, which I most certainly am. The female species can blind one, temporarily. However, I do stand by my sense that Ye Olde Love Bahnhoff team is just not what it used to be. Yes yes yes IMHO yes it is a taste thing, and I myself am not what I used to be, all points taken. It is just becoming more satisfying and affordable to be with a few really good favorites where there is some connection, in apartments. It is great fun to hang out with a few buddies in Artemis, shoot the shit with the loony masseurs, clown with the management, and just relax for hours, etc. I will no doubt miss that, and the birthday party was indeed entertaining, although having my trusty Wingman along surely helped. But I'm just going to partake a lot less. It used to be, and admittedly it was in the early days when things were a lot less settled, that you could turn up and there would be 5+ new staff who would really ring my bell. The excitement of a lot of constantly new and really good talent was a big draw. Those days are gone, at least for me as a local. (Yes yes yes it is different when you are just visiting, and yes it is different if you prefer a quite young, thin waify type vs a more voluptuous curvy late 20s-mid 30s woman (which I do). Now, a cynic would just leave it at that, but a skeptic says, well maybe it's me and my perception could be wrong, so best collect some 3rd party info. I have talked about it with some of my remaining female favs there, asking simply, do they sense a change? And actually, they concur. From their side, they comment that the men have also changed, as they seem a lot more boorish, the weekend and Messe rushes seem more physically taxing, and so forth. And they too are not wild about the change in staff, as they seem to have less in common socially and linguistically.

Who knows? Obviously all this highly subjective, and ultimately a matter of personal choice. We report, you decide. In any case, give a heads up when you enter Berlin airspace.

A happy sixth birthday to Artemis. Spent a relaxed afternoon at the club. Things seem to have calmed down a bit after all the partying, which is the way I like it.

Saw a lot of familiar faces that did not interest me. My favourites were not there when I arrived. But quite early on, I ran into someone fresh: a curvy flaxen-haired beauty from a village in der Deutschen Hinterland with a great bosom that showed no signs of artifice. DOREEN. I spent about ten minutes chatting to her in German and making sure she was the real deal, and then let myself be led to a room. Was she hot? Well, after I left the room, another girl put her hand on my neck and said, oh! You're burning up. So I realized I had to shower quickly before going into meltdown.

People keep talking about the food at Artemis. I would say that it's ok but if you thought from your entrance fee that you were entering a palace, you will be disappointed. If you need cheering up there's always the coloured slippers. Speaking of which, they should also hand out pink turbans as I noticed one poor guy had to bring his own. How is a guy supposed to impress the chicks if he doesn't have a pink turban?