[QUOTE=Turgid;2505015].... I got in touch with this 30 something good looking babe who I had not completely lost contact with. She had been showing me interest for years but I made no move not wanting to interfere with my mongering trips. We went out for lunch a couple times. Then she came over to my place, we watched a movie but she brushed off my advances. A second visit ended with the same result, no action for rufus. I then said fuck that, I'm too old for that shit. I blocked her from whatsapp and went back to my hookers.[/QUOTE]I think the problem in this kind of a situation is a lack of trust.
The lady thinks that you are trying to take advantage of her by having sex first and then talking and getting to know each other better later. And the guy feels that the lady is being unreasonable by wanting love and commitment from him, before she has any sex with him. The guy wants sex first and talking later. And the lady wants it the other way around. And they can't agree, because they don't trust each other to deliver on what the other wants. No trust means no trade and exchange. People avoid dealing with each other, when they don't trust each other.
And in this situation both the guy and the lady are right.
Because people are quite often incompatible with each other, and they only find this out when they get to know each other better. When the guy has sex for the first time with the lady, then he might find that she isn't that good at it, and maybe she doesn't want to do a lot of the stuff that he wants to do. So, he might leave her after the first or second time. And her fears a realized. She thinks that he took advantage of her.
And people are also often incompatible with each other in terms of their personalities, likes, dislikes and their goals in life. So, the lady might talk with him a lot, and he might fall for her with his feelings. But then she decides that he is incompatible with her, and she leaves him without ever having sex with him. So, his fears are realized too. She got commitment from him, but she never had sex with she him, and left him.
I think this happens, because ladies are looking only for long-term relationships. They aren't interested in short-term relationships. When you are looking for a life-changing relationship, then it makes sense to look long and hard and be very reluctant to make a choice. It's a very difficult and risky decision to make.
But in Thailand, many women are willing to have short-term relationships in exchange for money. And they don't necessarily see it in the same light as people in the West do. Because in Thailand, the guy is supposed to pay a large dowry to the lady in marriage. Which involves a long-term relationship and usually having children. So, a short-term relationship that doesn't involve commitment or having children is of the same kind. It's a just a smaller amount of the same kind of a relationship. And that's why a guy paying a much smaller 'dowry' preserves the woman's honor and makes it fair from her point of view.
What westerners see as hooking in Thailand is a kind of short-term common-law marriage from the lady's point of view. That's why many women there do it, and it's not considered necessarily bad. Both the guys and the ladies see it as fair and square. And Thailand used to have polygamy. So, they don't necessarily see 'cheating' in the same light as westerners do. When a married man comes to another lady, then she necessarily feel guilty about it, the way western women might feel.
