Seeking Arrangements

[QUOTE=Pessimist;2687845]This is the unfortunate result when desperate Newbs backed up after 2 years of quarantine flood SA and of course "girls" take advantage of them.

For instance, this poster was initially quite reluctant and skeptical about SA, when Covid just hit.

"The sugar baby thing isn't for me! Reminds me of tutes asking me to tip them just because they spent some of their invaluable time to chatting with me. " this was on 5/12/20..[/QUOTE]Like I said, I experienced the highs and the lows. I went into it as kind of a three-month experiment, not as a "desperate newb" as you put it, so you know what you can do with that. If I liked it, I would continue with it, and if I didn't then I would stop it. I said that I would share my experiences with three field reports summing up my time as a member, and I did exactly that in a very open and honest and emotionally raw way, with the hope that it would give all reading one person's real world take on what it's like to use [URL]Seeking.com[/URL]. I give thanks to you for zealously spending your time summarizing my posts as you did as that pulls the whole three months together quite nicely. I could not have done a better job myself. Mission accomplished!

But, I must say that there's nothing "unfortunate" about it or something to "hate". Don't be so dramatic. It's not that important to me in my life LOL! It is what it is, and now I'm happily moving on after three solid months of working it with 100's and 100's and 100's of contacts. That's hardly "spiking the ball" after the first score, then walking away after the first "fumble". I don't have those traits in me as a person, and that's not how I live my life. If I did, I never would have achieved the successes in life that I have. It takes "sticktoitiveness" to have success obtaining many things in life worth having. But, it also takes knowing when it's time to cut bait and follow another direction in order to achieve your goals. I know when and how to do that. So, this piece of what you wrote (essentially being a quitter) is nothing more than a mean-spirited mischaracterization of what I did. You actually know nothing of the hours I gave to this. Then too, it's a relatively expensive "dating" site where I think it behooves one to to do a cost-benefit analysis as to whether or not to turn off the spigot sooner rather than later. Three months of [URL]Seeking.com[/URL] getting my money was enough time in my estimation. As wealthy people know, what you keep is as important as what you earn.

This is something that, like you say, I did out of curiosity. But curiosity didn't kill the cat! In your pointers about a tragic lesson, you totally left out the full epilogue. The fact that I did meet one great girl on [URL]Seeking.com[/URL] who I'm still seeing today. She meets all of my physical criteria, we get along great, the sex is at the pinnacle of monger success (BBCIP), and all at a cut rate price too! And I can honestly say that we have become real friends, and I expect that we will remain that way for some time. So yes, I'm saying goodbye to [URL]Seeking.com[/URL]. She did too by the way! But, we haven't said goodbye to each other. And we're both so, so grateful that through it all we found each other. We both know how hard it is to find somebody "real" on Seeking. And this gets to the [B]true core[/B] of the lesson to be learned here, without a need for all of the lengthy analysis. Yes, you can have success on [URL]Seeking.com[/URL], but from my perspective you have to put in way too much work over way too long of a period of time, and all on a service platform that is quite expensive for its particular industry. [B]Making the return on investment not worth it[/B]. At least not to me. But don't cry for me mongerdom! This isn't the play "Death of a Monger". When the time is right, I will be returning to doing what I do. No stripclubs, no swinging, no Seeking. No, I'm talking flying all around the world [B]easily[/B] fucking pretty girls in the ass. I know who I am. And that's the kind of ROI I "seek".

So, do I have a certain disdain for [URL]Seeking.com[/URL]? Oh you better believe I do! But hate? LOLOLOL! That's just silly and too strong a word. "Hate" is an all-consuming thing that only brings you down with it. I have more useful things to spend my time thinking about and moving me on to action versus draining my batteries hating [URL]Seeking.com[/URL]. I'm actually glad that I spent that three months on the site though. I met a great girl out of it. And now I know, and no need to ever wonder "what if". For those of you who love it great! For those of you who hate it don't. It's not that important believe me. And for those of us who have total disdain for it? Let's just be moving it on.

[QUOTE=TheCane;2687759]I'm not a hater. I'm a [B]realist[/B]. And as most people who claim to have gained much benefit from the site say, that hasn't come from "a little effort". Not even "a lot" if you ask me. We're talking a "herculean effort" to find a few diamonds buried in stinky shit (Steve's own words). I have better ways to use my time. Now, if one has the money, the time, and a passport then head for over the seas where "tuting" (as Mr. Ho puts it) is legal. Believe this. But don't talk to me about "effort". I worked like a dog at it for three months. [URL]Seeking.com[/URL] won't reap another thin dime of my money to help support their fraud-filled site! No way, no how![/QUOTE]Yes, the site requires some hard work, that is a given. It is not cheap either. I usually get on a month and then back off for 3 months or so. It can be exhausting weeding thru all the ones on their. Honestly, I weed thru a lot of girls on SA. Fortunately, I can usually get a vibe of where it is going in the first few messages. If she won't give me her number to text in the first few messages, cull. If they ask for money up front, cull. If they are not interested in meeting in the next few days, cull. If they want to do SC or KIK, cull. It is true that only 10-20% on the site are legit prospects and it is time consuming trying to find them. I often get frustrated but quickly remind myself of the pot at the end of the rainbow. The few really good ones I have found have made it worth the effort for me.

I appreciate the depth of your reports. And your transparency.

I have to say, I've had a totally different experience than you.

I normally use SA in somewhat poorer countries (Mexico, Greece, Bolivia, etc). And I'm pretty generous with my offers. Usually 300-350 dollars to join for dinner and action afterward. And I'm not too bad looking, though I'm middle aged.

But my experience is quite different. I hit up girls in the 18-25 range. Usually a canned paragraph- I'm coming to your city for work, looking for some cool company, etc. About 50 pct write back, and I suspect it's only that low because I don't have a profile picture up. Then I quickly try to get to offer time so nobody's wasting time. Of those I offer, about 25 pct bite. Those that don't either are expecting more, or want a long term deal, or want date 1 to be no sex, or whatever.

But still, the math on that is that 12.5 pct or so of the girls I reach out to will be a bed possibility for me.

The odds are quite good.

[QUOTE=Pessimist;2687845]This is the unfortunate result when desperate Newbs backed up after 2 years of quarantine flood SA and of course "girls" take advantage of them.

For instance, this poster was initially quite reluctant and skeptical about SA, when Covid just hit.

"The sugar baby thing isn't for me! Reminds me of tutes asking me to tip them just because they spent some of their invaluable time to chatting with me. " this was on 5/12/20.

But in.

[URL]http://www.internationalsexguide.nl/forum/showthread.php?4144-Seeking-Arrangements&p=2642781&viewfull=1[/URL]#post2642781..[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Bdb013;2688153]Yes, the site requires some hard work, that is a given. It is not cheap either. I usually get on a month and then back off for 3 months or so. It can be exhausting weeding thru all the ones on their. Honestly, I weed thru a lot of girls on SA. Fortunately, I can usually get a vibe of where it is going in the first few messages..[/QUOTE]I wonder if this is the same looking from the SB side. I think there is a high burnout on girls that join hoping it will be easy money and then get bombarded with dick pics.

[QUOTE=AsianPursuits;2688246]I wonder if this is the same looking from the SB side. I think there is a high burnout on girls that join hoping it will be easy money and then get bombarded with dick pics.[/QUOTE]Based on what I heard from the SBs I met and some others who I communicated with, yes it's the same, and believe it or not maybe even worse. Imagine that! The one who I have kept a relationship with told me that she was on the verge of quitting just at the point in time when I first messaged her. She's now "relieved" to be out of the "sugar bowl".

[QUOTE=AsianPursuits;2688246]I wonder if this is the same looking from the SB side. I think there is a high burnout on girls that join hoping it will be easy money and then get bombarded with dick pics.[/QUOTE]Yeah definitely. The girls I've talked to say the guys are absolutely gross and come straight at them with pervy requests and scams and all the rest. It's equally exhausting for them. But the good news is all that shit makes guys like you and me stand out!

I would say the average "regular girl" seeking lifetime is 2-4 weeks. You have to be on top of it to catch the good ones.

[QUOTE=AsianPursuits;2688246]I wonder if this is the same looking from the SB side. I think there is a high burnout on girls that join hoping it will be easy money and then get bombarded with dick pics.[/QUOTE]Some do, some don't. Clearly they need some thick skin as well. I see many girls on the site for a long time, while some others churning quickly but coming back with different names and pics and profiles.

Generally, I'd say if a girl is such a wall flower and easily offended by sexual references and nasty pics, she may be shocked and disconnect ASAP or not likely to come to the site in the first place.

Many girls learn to block guys very quickly.

I think they also have tons of unopened messages. I think the ones with sexy pics and come hither profile attract hundreds of messages a day and they get to them slowly if at all.

Keep in mind, while some guys here think all girls on SA are tutes (there are many guys on ISG who think every woman in the world is a tute. I am sorry for such Neanderthals), most girls have regular jobs, school work and so on. Most of them are hoping to make a little side money from SA. As such, checking messages and replying instantly is not a priority.

I have received replies months after I first contacted them. Just last night I heard back from a girl on text. I first said Hello, to her in September, she replied back a few months later, we exchanged numbers and I sent my last text to her in January but she replied yesterday. Some guys might act haughty and feel self important and think she ignored him and hence deserves to be blocked. I have no such pretensions, I will be pleasant and see how far it goes. If ever we meet and go further, great. If it fizzles out, which is much more likely, also fine. The good news is, there are lots of girls on the site and in the world and I am patient.

How do you guys handle the logistics like getting a place to do the deed if it is in your hometown? Do you get a hotel room, go the girl's place or bring her back to yours?

Also, would you drive to a neighboring city, perhaps two hours from your hometown, for a ppm? Curious to know how you guys go about arranging this.

[QUOTE=Ggekko2009;2688474]How do you guys handle the logistics like getting a place to do the deed if it is in your hometown? Do you get a hotel room, go the girl's place or bring her back to yours?

Also, would you drive to a neighboring city, perhaps two hours from your hometown, for a ppm? Curious to know how you guys go about arranging this.[/QUOTE]Always a hotel. Never, ever own home. Have been inside the girl's house a few times but I prefer the first time to be in a hotel. I am a bit paranoid.

Driving. Depends on your status. I am married. My biggest constraint is time and having to explain where I am. Making sure to cover money trail is a moderate concern but real because my spouse is informed, a professional and makes good money and all our accounts are joint accounts. So, withdrawing tens of thousands of dollars for the hobby has to be managed discretely. But really, the time aspect is far more critical for me. Having to come up with credible excuses where I am is not an easy thing especially given she knows a lot of my colleagues.

I assume this is a problem for other married folks here as well. Single guys have it easy.

[QUOTE=Ggekko2009;2688474]How do you guys handle the logistics like getting a place to do the deed if it is in your hometown? Do you get a hotel room, go the girl's place or bring her back to yours?
Also, would you drive to a neighboring city, perhaps two hours from your hometown, for a ppm? Curious to know how you guys go about arranging this.[/QUOTE]I live alone, so I would meet at a nearby restaurant and if all went well, bring them back to my apartment. Never had much problems if we felt good about each other and agreed on terms of an arrangement.

Rarely would drive to another city to meet, then you are on their turf, and would have to go back to their house. A few times it would work, but you have already obligated yourself with your time and gas.

Right now am taking a break. Too much crap on their site and scammers. They want money to meet now-I told them my time was worth more than theirs, if I would be supporting them financially in an arrangement. Often they would hang up the phone at that point, when they realized they could not scam me. They want money for babysitters, sitter for sick aunt they provide home care for, uber money, gas money, etc. If they do not have a car and play this routine, hang up on them! If would never get better than their first attempt to scam you and you could never trust them- its all about the money to most of them and not about sharing a long term arrangement where both people feel comfortable and can travel together and trust.

To all SA experts.

I just joined SA for 3 months.

Always wondered if it is appropriate to be upfront and set expectations about the deed after meet in first message or wait to get contact info and start the conversation outside SA?

What you guys usually do and how the SA girls response in different approaches?

TIA.

[QUOTE=HumbleHal;2688496]They want money for babysitters, sitter for sick aunt they provide home care for, uber money, gas money, etc. If they do not have a car and play this routine, hang up on them! If would never get better than their first attempt to scam you and you could never trust them- its all about the money to most of them and not about sharing a long term arrangement where both people feel comfortable and can travel together and trust.[/QUOTE]Even if they claim to have a car, it still might be advisable to hang up on them. For example, I got hit with the gas money / babysitter scam. I shared that in my second field report I believe it was. At the last minute, "she" (I say it like that because you really never know exactly who you're dealing with most of the time) she wanted me to send $200 for gas and a sitter, when just a few minutes ahead of that request, she had already allegedly left the house headed for the restaurant. Needless to say, I didn't fall for it. Nice try! Some of you may recall the one I told you about who said she could not entertain, but that she had a car and was happy to meet her clients around the metro area. Her fee was $125 per hour (huge red flag for being way below market), and to arrange for a date, all I had to do was send her half of the payment upfront. So for example, if I wanted 2 hours, that would be $250 with half to be paid upfront to to her cash app to "protect her". LOLOLOL! Yeah right! And then get ghosted in the end! I wonder how many suckers fall for that one?

And speaking of not knowing who you're dealing with, here's another one. So, I'm communicating with this attractive young "lady", and she wants to switch to WhatsApp. OK, well here we go! I had already read how this is a favorite tactic of some scammers. So anyway, I agreed to do that (switch to WhatsApp), and guess what? The fraudster forgot to change their WhatsApp photo to match what they were using on the site, and who do I see? A middle-aged white guy with a scruffy beard wearing a dirty, weathered baseball cap! At some point in my Seeking "journey", I decided to have some fun by "fucking with a fraudster". My favorite ones for this were the cryptocurrency crooks. So, what I would do is play along for a bit. Make them think they were slowly reeling me in. Then out of the blue I would say something like, "You understand that I know you're full of shit right? That you're just another scammer! So [B]fuck off[/B]"! Dead "radio silence" hahaha! Then I would block them. Some of these fraudsters definitely wasted some of my time no doubt. A lot of it actually. But nary a one of them got even one red cent out of me. That's for darn sure! And I made sure to strike back on occasion by wasting some of their time too. Hehehe!

[QUOTE=Pk099;2688515]Always wondered if it is appropriate to be upfront and set expectations about the deed after meet in first message or wait to get contact info and start the conversation outside SA?
[/QUOTE]I always tell the woman we would have to meet in person and see how we feel. If we feel comfortable, and like each other we could go back to my place afterwards. No pressure on either of us. That way they are more relaxed and if we come to terms in person, then we can go back to my place and do the deed.

I never throw out the amount money in my messages, nor respond to their requested amount. Talk about $$ is a sign that the woman is more concerned with money than she is with liking you. Its also rude, like a guy telling the girl what type of fetish he wants, or BBBJ, or anal. I always say, We need to meet in person and first see how we feel before it goes any further. No pressure on either of us. After all, its supposed to be about liking the other person. I don't go to bed with anyone, and if there is a connection then the financial support will work itself out. It also depends on how many times we would meet per week, once twice or more, as far as how much financial support they would earn. An allowance has to be earned by good behavior, its not free money. There has to be a connection.

[QUOTE=Pk099;2688515]To all SA experts.

I just joined SA for 3 months.

Always wondered if it is appropriate to be upfront and set expectations about the deed after meet in first message or wait to get contact info and start the conversation outside SA?

What you guys usually do and how the SA girls response in different approaches?.[/QUOTE]I never discuss specifics on SA. I get their text number in the first few messages. Then I get right to the point in the first few text messages. Get expectations right away including money. Expectations from both parties on the table.

I start off by asking if they have a place I could come to or what about a hotel? What are their financial expectations. If we are still good, I ask about specifics such as bare, their likes or dislikes, my likes and dislikes.

If we are on the same page, we will set a time to meet. If we are not on the same page, we go our own way.

For me, its best to get to point quickly and not waste anyone's time. It takes time to work these SA contacts, so I try not to waste any more than I need to.