Filipinas - Opinions and Advice

Big Mistake! Only do so AFTER you have really got to know the girl. And even then, don't, unless you are prepared to make an ill advised commitment without testing the waters and learning the score. CDO is nothing like Cebu. It is growing, but is in the minor leagues in all respects compared to Cebu. Illigan is just a town with only one hotel that is even remotely habitable. You are far too inexperienced to think about wandering around Mindanao. Stick to Cebu until you gain an education and some semblance of understanding. Much of Mindanao is safe much of the time. Some of Mindanao is NOT safe ALL of the time. No place for a rookie to make rookie mistakes. You could be an accident waiting for a place to happen.

[quote=sprite13; 1300929]blablabla. while i'm not naive to fall for this sweet talks, i'm also quite intrigued by her as she is truly stunning and wants to have her entire family meet me in the airport in gs.

edit: sorry i meant near cagayan de oro and not gs, but i'd be interested to hear thoughts on gs too. thanks. .[/quote]other gents may disagree. but noooooooo you should not go to iligan. you fly to cdo and stay there. its not wise to travel west of cdo. its a pain to get from in town cdo to the airport and back, taxi's want about p300 to make the trip. some hotels offer the same price for a van to pick you up. cdo is a large barrio. if your only point of reference is cebu, you are stepping down a notch to the province here.

now on to having her family meet you. noooooooo again. in phils in general, and mindanao moreso, there is a natural aversion on the girl's part to meeting you alone. they will want to bring a friend / cousin, then when you say yes, they will expand that to her aunt and mom and everyone else. a story here, and while its one of mine, many other gents have experienced it: my girl shows up at the provincial airport with family in tow. we get back to the hotel, and they invite themselves in to see the room. they don't leave. they behave like this is normal behavior. to get rid of them (they've been in my room for 2 hours) , i suggest we go get a sip of tea somewhere. all 9 of them hit me up for lunch, then they want to go shopping (guess who they want to pay for everything, and guess how hurt they look when they suggest that the baby needs [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord131][CodeWord131][/url] and i won't buy them). the followed me nearly everywhere, including waiting just outside the cr (hair stood up on my neck whilst peeing, thinking they were all craning their necks to see me [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord134][CodeWord134][/url]). when i finally got loose from them, they would not let their daughter go to the hotel with me."we are not that kind of family sir." there i was, stuck in the province, with no plan b, alone in my hotel room.

better plan: get to your hotel on your own, have her bring one family member to meet with you for lunch / dinner, then the family member goes home and the girl stays with you. you can meet with the family a few days later. if she / they is not agreeable to this, they are thinking on a different plane than you are (see story above). other gents?

also please see my recent cdo reports in dragonslayer's forum.

wc

[QUOTE=Westcoast1; 1300977]Better plan: get to your hotel on your own, have her bring one family member to meet with you for lunch / dinner, then the family member goes home and the girl stays with you. You can meet with the family a few days later. If she / they is not agreeable to this, they are thinking on a different plane than you are (see story above). Other gents?

Also please see my recent CDO reports in DragonSlayer's forum.

WC[/QUOTE]I would endorse this view, you have not been long enough in the country to do what you plan, if she is really keen (and you of course) suggest to her that you fly her to Cebu. You pay on credit card so if she no shows then you can get your money back (and she can't try to cash in the ticket). She may say no but try but don't meet her at the airport and never let the family get invovled until you have spent time with her.

I had a wry smile at WC's 'adventure' but this does happen often and a lot to newbies. The family see this dollar sign above your head when they meet you, not just you.

If do go against the advice let us know how much you had to spend on the family. Before she would be alone with you

You can't really blame a decent Filipina for wanting to bring one or two friends or family members to a first meeting with a foreign guy. This is just prudent on her part, since after all, you could be an ax murderer or something, for all she knows. Buying a meal for one or two extra folks is no big deal, since food is generally cheap in the Philippines, especially in the provinces, unless you go to some expensive hotel or something.

However, I do agree that it is unreasonable for a girl to expect you to treat her whole family when meeting you for the first time. I am married to a Filipina I met about 7 years ago. Her family was and is very unique, in that they had no interest in me buying anything for them. In fact, when they invited me to their home in Nabunturan for a lechon baboy dinner and endless accompaniments, my future father-in-law seemed insulted when I wanted to contribute to the cost of the meal, insisting "You are our guest!"

But I must admit that my wife's family is probably in the minority. Most of the time, Filipino families will try to milk you for what you are worth!

RG

[QUOTE=Questor55;1300949]Big Mistake! Only do so AFTER you have really got to know the girl. And even then, don't, unless you are prepared to make an ill advised commitment without testing the waters and learning the score. CDO is nothing like Cebu. It is growing, but is in the minor leagues in all respects compared to Cebu. Illigan is just a town with only one hotel that is even remotely habitable. You are far too inexperienced to think about wandering around Mindanao. Stick to Cebu until you gain an education and some semblance of understanding. Much of Mindanao is safe much of the time. Some of Mindanao is NOT safe ALL of the time. No place for a rookie to make rookie mistakes. You could be an accident waiting for a place to happen.[/QUOTE]I made the mistake of meeting the family few times. Firstly I was curious, secondly wanted to experiene local culture, thirdly wanted to see if I can hook with good looking girls.

Experiencewise failed miserably on all counts.

Ofcourse I would never meet the family if I was meeting the girl first time irrespective of how cute she is.

Couple of instances come to my mind. My GF from Leyte who I was seeing and spending time with regualarly wanted me to meet her family. In Spite of my saying we will find our own transport she insisted her family will hire a van and come meet us. Yes, the van was nice and it cost me 2000 pesos. If we would have taken a taxi less than 1000 pesos. Whole family came group of 10 people. After intros there was nothing to talk. Soon my girl said they are all hungry and we have to stop. All ate well and the check was little more than 1500 pesos. Good thing it was a roadside barbecue place. Next they wanted me to stay in their house. I said no knowing fully well I had to pony up for everything and told my girl we are staying in a hotel. Next day my girl asked me for money saying her family wanted to give me dinner and cost is 3000 pesos for dinner and drinks. Dinner consisted of some chicked and rice and beer. And to top that one of her uncles wanted me to invest in some kind of factory he wants start. I said I will think about it politely. Following her father who has a fishing boat wanted to take me and do not know how many others for a fishing trip. I said we will see knowing fully well that I had to pony up for food and drinks again. Next day I told the girl we are going to Ormoc and staying there. I gave a lame excuse saying I do not like the hotel.

Another instance another girl. I usually let her fly into Manila and stay with me. This time she said her uncle wanted to see me at the mall. I said I am tired and do not feel like going to the mall. I told her she can go and meet him. So she left and withing about an hour her uncle and others with kids group of six came knocking into my room. They made themselves comfortable including kids who raided the pantry. There was no sign of them leaving after an hour. So I called my girl and said they have to leave because I am tired. She told me they are waiting for lunch and some shopping. I just gave her 500 pesos and told her let them go buy lunch somewhere. My girl wanted to buy toys for the kids. I said sorry.

Do not meet the family whatever the circumstances are. As for local culture just let you and the girl go and experience small towns. Fiestas are not as it is touted. Usually it is Church ceremony and a procession with lots of girls in costumes dancing with some local bands.

Thanks gents for your feedback, very much appreciated!

I now definitely know I won't be meeting the family at the airport and I'm even having 2nd thoughts of having the girl meet me at the airport too. I really like the suggestion of flying her to Cebu. I think this is what I'm going to do. The last thing I want is after almost 24 hours flying to have a bunch of provincials looking at me as Santa Claus.

Another thing I'm thinking I might do is I go to Davao City, a place I've heard heaps of positive things about it and have her join me there. How long is the drive from Iligan City to Davao City? Has anyone been brave enough in here to do that ride? On a map, they look not too far from each other (perhaps 150-200kms?). Thoughts on that gents?

Thank you very much guys for your feedback! Looks like I'll be spending a few days in AC, then to Cebu and then Davao towards the end of Aug / early Sept. If any of you gents will be in town at the time, would love to meet for drinks and swap stories, pick your brains on the place / pinays and living there. I've already had the privilege of meeting you WR in Cebu, at the end of 2010, on new years' eve with a bunch of other guys at Bo's cafe in Ayala (not sure if you remember but I will not forget it, admittedly it was a long time ago.). You were quite a gentleman! You were with 2 of the finest specimen of Filipinas I saw in Cebu that night. Where do you pick those? What's your secret uncle WR? Care to share your secret with some of the younger of us? .

[QUOTE=Sammon; 1301112]I made the mistake of meeting the family few times. Firstly I was curious, secondly wanted to experiene local culture, thirdly wanted to see if I can hook with good looking girls.

Experiencewise failed miserably on all counts.

Ofcourse I would never meet the family if I was meeting the girl first time irrespective of how cute she is.

Do not meet the family whatever the circumstances are. As for local culture just let you and the girl go and experience small towns. Fiestas are not as it is touted. Usually it is Church ceremony and a procession with lots of girls in costumes dancing with some local bands.[/QUOTE]Excellent post Sammon. It brought a smile to my face and I can relate directly to your experience as virtually the same happened to me.

I prefer to meet the family after I had sex with the girl and I want her to live with me. I do it under my terms and only if the girls wants me too. I would never fly to meet a girl they can borrow money and get a ferry to Cebu, they can also stay with friends and family.

Do not go out of your way to meet province girls, you can make trips there if you have a girl who wants to take you, but meeting strange people for sex in this way has many disappointments and dangerous. Ask you self why can they afford Internet but not a bus and ferry trip to the city.

[QUOTE=Radical Guy;1301089]You can't really blame a decent Filipina for wanting to bring one or two friends or family members to a first meeting with a foreign guy. This is just prudent on her part, since after all, you could be an ax murderer or something, for all she knows.[/QUOTE]Yes, I think many of us forget that, or newbs don't think of it. I have no objection with her bringing a friend / relative, but just one. Given that we are meeting in the mall, there is little reason for concern on her part. Usually the reasons for multiple friends / relatives revolve around: can she get you to pay for lunch for as many people as possible, and / or to have her auntie size you up as a person (how serious are you towards her). I'm fine with buying them coffee or jolliebee, but nothing more, and at that point the auntie / friend has to go home, and the girl must come with me, or we are parting ways for good. There are even times when I throw the fish back to the sea: she wants to come with me, auntie is fine with it, but for one reason or another I decide the better of it (ie, she appears too young).

[QUOTE=Radical Guy; 1301089]Most of the time, Filipino families will try to milk you for what you are worth!

RG[/QUOTE]The families, and the girls themselves. This is part of the outlook, and while you and I think very lowly of it, it seems very natural. A few more examples:

1. Recently I made a mistake. I violated the 'meet-in-the-mall-for-a-drink-only-FIRST' rule. A dating site chatmate and I were on cam together. She said,"Are you in XXXXXXX hotel?" She could see the headboard and wall. I said yes. She wanted to come over. It was 11pm. I told her we could go for one san mig, it was late, I was tired. We were going to meet at a bar up the street. As I was walking out of the hotel, she was walking in (not as attractive as on cam). She claimed she paid a taxi p220, and wanted me to give her R / T fare (I'm sure she just stepped off the jeep). Fine. Later. In the bar, the waitress immediately got pushy with the menu as soon as we sat. She showed my date the expensive fruity drink price list (most drinks p400+). I told the waitress we wanted two san mig lights. The waitress wrote it on her pad, and went back to showing my date the expensive drink list. The date pointed to a p500 drink and the waitress started to write it down, and I nixed it. My date, who said she'd never been in that bar, then turned the menu to the foods list (also very expensive) , and I told the waitress we would not be ordering food. The waitress left and brought the beers. We enjoyed the band and beers. I went to the CR, when I come out, we chat a bit, I'm getting ready to go and give her the taxi fare home. As I tell her its time to go, she says wait, she ordered more beer. The waiter comes with the beers and I tell him to nix that, and he says: "Sir your food is up. I'll cancel the beers but you ordered food. Its ready." This was not the same original waitress. I told him I ordered nothing. He pointed to my date. Great. A huge plate of squid showed up. We kept the beers. I don't like squid. Total cost for the squid and 4 beers: p1000. I asked the girl why she ordered without checking with me: "Why not? We are having fun!" Instead of meeting briefly, then heading to the hotel, I stupidly told her I'd take her to a bar for a drink. Cost of drinks, food, and her transport (couldn't wait to get rid of her) : 1500.

Not quite done here. After leaving the bar, she dragged me into a convenience store up the street, and grabbed about p75 worth of candy."For my daughter when I get home. You buy me." This is in stunningly bad form for any woman, but in the pinay culture, the girls will grab an inch, and take a mile. Its fairly true across the islands, and she will often get things to take home for as many of her family members as she can."My brother need a medicine." Having the girl bring her family to the airport is like having extra sets of eyes on you to give you the 'sad-eyes' treatment. This girl is no different than any other.

My point is this: the girls have no limits on what they ask for. Every time you (or I) say YES to any one small thing, you (or I) are thinking YES to that one thing. In her mind, what she is hearing is: "YES, and please ask for something bigger next time." It seems to embolden her. Once you say NO to something, you will find that if she is alone, outside the presence of her family / friends, she is just fine with NO. In fact, you have drawn the line, and she knows now not to go over asking a certain amount from the last thing you paid for. Saying no seems to be the way to tell her: enough for today. However, if she is in the presence of her family or friends, they will pressure her to not accept a NO.

[QUOTE=Sammon;1301112]Next day my girl asked me for money saying her family wanted to give me dinner and cost is 3000 pesos for dinner and drinks. Dinner consisted of some chicked and rice and beer.[/QUOTE]Sounds like you are the one who gave the dinner.

[QUOTE=Sprite13; 1301198]Thanks gents for your feedback, very much appreciated!

I now definitely know I won't be meeting the family at the airport and I'm even having 2nd thoughts of having the girl meet me at the airport too. I really like the suggestion of flying her to Cebu. I think this is what I'm going to do. The last thing I want is after almost 24 hours flying to have a bunch of provincials looking at me as Santa Claus.

Another thing I'm thinking I might do is I go to Davao City, a place I've heard heaps of positive things about it and have her join me there. How long is the drive from Iligan City to Davao City? Has anyone been brave enough in here to do that ride? On a map, they look not too far from each other (perhaps 150-200kms?). Thoughts on that gents?

Thank you very much guys for your feedback! Looks like I'll be spending a few days in AC, then to Cebu and then Davao towards the end of Aug / early Sept. If any of you gents will be in town at the time, would love to meet for drinks and swap stories, pick your brains on the place / pinays and living there. I've already had the privilege of meeting you WR in Cebu, at the end of 2010, on new years' eve with a bunch of other guys at Bo's cafe in Ayala (not sure if you remember but I will not forget it, admittedly it was a long time ago.). You were quite a gentleman! You were with 2 of the finest specimen of Filipinas I saw in Cebu that night. Where do you pick those? What's your secret uncle WR? Care to share your secret with some of the younger of us? .[/QUOTE]I do not know what you will do but I will tell you what I do.

1. I check and find the cheapest fare and buy the ticket and e mail her with instructions to print it out and go to the airport with valid I. D. Airlines are not picky about I. The, even a fake one showing pic and D / O/B will do.

2. I send about 1000-1500 pesos through western union. This covers transportation, airport charge, food, cost of buying a cheap bag and some decent clothes.

3. If she does not show, yes I have lost some money. Out of about 20 or more over the years only one failed to show up.

4. All girls had sex with me although some are reserved and shy and not much experience. But after a day or so they start to trust and become better. Ofcourse they all say they love me (IRRESISTIBLE?)

5. After first time depending on how much I like the girl I meet them again and plan vacations etc.

6. Ofcourse if the girl is friendly with no demands or drama, I tend to be very generous.

I would suggest meet the family only if you are thinking of settling down with the girl. For the casual mongering purposes only the girl is important.

Yes, Sprite, I've travelled quite extensively by road around Mindanao. Iligan to CDO West Bus Terminal takes about 90 min. Then 30 min to East Terminal and then bus to Davao will take another 6. 7 hrs plus. Then add in various waiting times. So it would be a long day's travel, but can be done. You would probably have to advance her at least 1200 pesos to cover transportation and food. You would meet her at Ecoland Terminal in Davao. However, she hopefully has a cell phone and load to keep you informed as to her progress and arrival time. BTW This will be an epic journey for most young girls, especially traveling alone. It would be a brave girl who agrees to do this.

Thanks guys once again for all your wise and very helpful comments and suggestions regarding my question.

Now, here's where it gets a big juicy: she's already calling me her love. The email account I write her and all the girls is one I use with a fake name and she has been signing her name on my her emails to me using her first name and the fake last name I use on my email. Plus, she has been writing repeatedly that I'm her strength, love and life. She even went as far as signing her last email as "your wife". LOL

Also, she's been hinting indirectly in all her emails at a few things that have made me raise some red flags:

1) how she wished she had a digital camera to send me more pics of her.

2) how she wished she had a laptop so we could video chat and chat on a daily basis.

3) how she wished she a cell phone as she pawned hers a while ago when she needed money.

4) her mother's birthday is on July 10 and how she wished she had money to go see her for that as she lives in an another city and some money to spend on her birthday.

Mind you, she has not asked me directly for any financial help, however, she has been repeating those in almost every one of her email since we started chatting about 2 weeks ago. In her emails, she would be extremely sweet, warm and express her unconditional love to me despite not having met her yet.

She tells me how her aunt, with whom she's been living in an another city has been mean to her, overworking her and even hitting her but she respects her as she's been supporting her. Mind you, this is not an 18 or 19 year old but rather a 27 year old, no kid, never married and simply stunning. She doesn't look pinay to be honest but more like a Colombian beauty. I don't know if in here I'm thinking with the little head as opposed to the big one, but I'm quite intrigued by her and I figure, sending her a return ticket to Cebu will cost 70-80 bucks max and with the total experience tops 100 bucks. Really nothing to gamble in her to see if she's really as pretty and sexy as her pictures are showing. I will do what you guys have wisely suggested and that is to send her a ticket to Cebu. If that fails, I'll fly to Davao and will have her join me. Oh and BTW, forgot to mention that after she had suggested that her entire family would meet me at the airport in CDO to which I had replied that's not going to happen, she replied that she understands and only her would come at the airport. Obvious after reading your comments based on your experience in the Phils, even that won't happen. I'll go to my hotel by myself and I'd meet her afterwards.

So thoughts on that gents? Once again, very much appreciated guys!

You know the answer already. No need to ask. Drop her and don't lead her on.

It's only emails with this giirl? Any filipina with internet will have a web cam

Sprite13 she is really working you, she is doing this with a bunch of other men, try ask a friend to contact her and see them get the same response, why would a girl you never met fall for you? All the hints about money are a sign to run. Her saying she is getting abused it to make you feel sorry for her, no family put up with abuse, unless it from her husband, father or brother, in which case she prob needs it.

Just do not waste money online, use it to get some contacts and when you get here text them you are here and see who turns up, I prefer to pick my girls from what I see in a bar on the street in the malls, I can tell how they react to me when I met them if I want them, some ask for money from day one.