Bangkok Reports

I have to say that I agree with your assessment of BBeat. I have tried to emphasize in several reports that this joint is not for everybody. What it takes to thrive there is patience and consistency. Sometime during most evenings, a pretty hot girl or set of girls will stroll in. I never sit in one place but wander about to keep the fuglies off balance and they are hovering around generally every night.

When I see someone to my liking, I strike but in a subtle passive / agressive way so their fee does not go into auto escalate. But totally understand why fellow mongers might be askance at what they see.

As I have noted before, many of these girls join the great unwashed at some point in Climax. The talent there is appreciably better but so are the prices and then the overall ambience of the place is tough to take.

Look forward to your next report.

[QUOTE=Kumbu;1890660]This is the second of a three-part series of posts. No sex here, just thoughts about Bangkok Beat.

* * * * *.

We all know what beer goggles are, but in our chosen way of life (mongering is indeed a way of life, not a fucking hobby), we need a term that more accurately describes the situation where pure horniness impedes our ability to make rational decisions. Let's call that Cum Goggles. This is not the fetish of ejaculating on some bespectacled lass, no, though that does sound neat. Rather, this is where you take the easy way out by picking up a willing and available girl who [B] clearly[/B] does not meet your standards. And you do this all just to get your nut off, that's it. For me, this is the worst way to end a night. I spend the time and effort to sift through all the sand on the beach not so I can go home with a piece of gravel. I want that fucking cowrie, goddamit, I want the cowrie. Having a chunk of rock in my pocket might make me feel like I found something, but it's not what I went looking for. But after looking through enough piles of sand, desperation to feel that comforting lump of something in your pocket overwhelms you, and you just succumb to fatigue and desperation and take the gravel home. So no, the Cum Goggles are not my friend.

1 am, Monday night, just got off the plane from Amelikaa, been to Soi Cowboy and trotting towards lower Suk. Time to check out Bangkok Beat. The weather was the epitome of symmetry: temperature was 88 degrees, with roughly 88% humidity, and that's the kind of symmetry I could do without. So I took a taxi down, the ride being a full 3 minutes and costing 40 baht (well worth it). Bangkok Beat is in soi 7, the soi where Subway and Vasu Money Exchange sit, so it is easy to spot. As soon as you turn into the soi, you see it on your right.

As I entered, there were five girls standing by the doors, and this small, tight little girl opened the door for me. Thank you very much. But there was a second set of doors inside there, identical to the first set, and no one to open the door for me. So I opened the door, but such was it's heft, and such is the wispiness of Kumbu's frame, that I staggered and stumbled through the door. So let me get this straight. The 4'10" girl opened the first set of doors with adroit strength, and I can't even manage to pull the door halfway open without stumbling and groaning? Yeah, that's right. So this is how I entered Bangkok Beat: stumbling uncontrollably into the middle of the club. Welcome Kumbu.

First impression: the place is very. . . Woody. There is a lot of wood everywhere, which perhaps looked nice a few years ago, but it looks aged and slightly run down, IMHO. There is an upstairs and a downstairs, but there were plenty of tables available downstairs. I walked slowly through the people all the way to the bar, and then found a table in the corner, pretty far away from everyone. That is, there were several empty tables between me and everyone else (such was the emptiness of the place, at 1 am, mind you). My beer arrived and I started the Gaze of Kumbu. As I did this, I counted three Kumbu-worthy prospects. Everyone else was below my standards, or with some farang. There were plenty of farang around too, just sitting there with their apparent Thai GFs, all looking bored.

I sat there, far away from everyone, very obviously aloof from the crowd, for a good 10 minutes. Meanwhile, the girls were scoping me out. I was the fresh meat. I was dressed *much* better than anyone else there. Everyone there was wearing t-shirts, or drabby short-sleeve collared shirts, many had flip-flops on, many had shabby shorts. I'm not dissing anyone there, but there was a definite dress difference between me and the others, and that's because I had obviously over-dressed for BB. This was quite unintended, since I have never been to BB before and so did not know what the norms for dress are. I was not trying to be pretentious, it just happened by mistake!

But this worked *really* well with the girls. Not only was I fresh meat, I was well-dressed fresh meat. Plus my apparent age was probably a good 10 years below the median age in that joint. I am in my mid-forties (probably median age, I think), but I pass for a mid-thirties kind of guy (not sure how long that will last, though). Anyway, in all, I'm not trying to brag, but descriptively speaking, I think I was a catch in there, at least on that night.

The three prospects I had identified had all started making moves, but the distance between me and them was really hard for them to navigate. They couldn't just walk over: that would be waaay too obvious. So there had to be some distance-courting, which was fine by me. It gave me an envelope of safety, at least temporarily. One girl was giving me the regular head-turn. The second girl got up off her stool and started to grove, showing off some undulations that were indeed appreciated. And the third girl walked past me to the dance floor, and then started some sexy-dancing by herself, giving off the occasional longing glances to me.

But none of them were spectacular to me. They each had long pants on, two of them had non-conforming pants, and so I could not tell what their lower bodies were like. Their faces were all really wonderful, but hey, I'm not here for a beautiful face alone. I want the whole deal: face, legs, ass, boobs, todos. I want the Prix Fixe, but if I have to order a la carte, then it will be legs with a side of ass. Face optional, and boobs only if they are complementary. So I decided to not lead these innocent creatures on any further and I bailed. See, Cum Goggles were tempting me, and truth be told, I am sure I would have had a decent time with any one of those three girls, but I would always have felt that I settled. And in retrospect, given what eventually happened, I am so very glad I did not put on that pair of Cum Goggles. As I walked out, I could feel their eyes on my back, but this is best for all.

In all, then, I think Bangkok Beat is not for me. I can see why some would like it. It is more casual, less mercenary, more relaxed. The band is pretty decent, and there is talent available there. My guess is that prices are decent in that place, and there is very little pretention on display. Bonus: mighty midget girls to open doors for you.

But on the negative side, there was not a whole lot of options for the average punter like me. Three girls? Nah, I need more options (remember, there were plenty of other girls, just not to my standards). Moreover, the quality of these three girls was not outstanding. Granted, this changes from day to day and time to time. But really, there are other places where you can get the talent, reliably, and with no more fuss than here at BB. To wit, Climax, in my next report. And hang in there friends, the dirty details are on their way.

Next Report: The culmination of a night that was well worth the effort.[/QUOTE]

Welcome back Lazarus man!

A fine beginning! Like the seed that has been collecting in your gonads these words have been percolating in your brain and now have bene unleashed onto our screens in a glorious stream of consciousness.

You seem to be in fine form and this give me joy. Your hiatus has only sharpened your wit and enhanced your artistry with the pen. You have me in rapture and you haven't even touched a girl yet.

I am so looking forward to following your adventures. I have a feeling this will be a trip for the ages.

Stay horny (and awake) my friend.

Uncle-V.

You are a fantastic writer! However, I believe you are wasting your time and money in BKK.

But, I did learn a few things about you.

1. The Kumbu gaze, and the Kumbu meditation in a Go Go bar!

2. The above is followed by a calculation of Kumbu- worthiness.

Looks like 1 and 2 added up to just a little more than zero, in BKK, so far.

Based on your reports I would highly recommend that you get your ass over to Pattaya.

Hey, but what do I know? You are a Thailand vet and a lot younger, and probably better looking than me as well (as are 80 PC of the guys LOL). So, the best of luck my man!

Boy, typing these reports up takes a bunch of time, and it is slower going than I expected. But I'm almost there. So just wanted to respond to a few of the comments here.

Tomasb: yes, you were indeed very careful to note that BB is not everyone's cup of tea. So I did not feel mislead by you in any way, and many of the things I experienced, I recognized them from your posts. So thanks for that honesty.

Uncle V, yes, so far in the public postings, you have not heard about any physical encounters. But trust me, they are coming. I can already tell you that there will be at least one [B]spectacular[/B] experience, and one terrible experience. It's all part of the gig.

Haven123, interesting point, that this is all a zero-sum game. I never thought of it that way, and you may be right. But in my next post, you will see that I do eventually end up on the winning side. I don't believe the Gaze of Kumbu has held me back so far. But you will see the details in my next post.

Finally, I doubt very much that my looks (which are not awesome, but decidedly average, to be honest) has much to do with my experiences here in LOS. A lot of it is how you carry yourself, how you behave, how you dress, how you smell, etc. That is, controllable factors, and not the uncontrollable quality of looks. Looks does have an impact, but these other factors can mitigate that impact, in either direction.

[QUOTE=Goatscrot;1890599]Yep, that's getting close to 100 USD for a ST. Sorry just not worth it to me. At Kinnaree it's half that. More than enough for a ST. And if you go on Wed, Sat, or Sun you can end up getting a couple of drinks, a lady drink, a buffet, and a sesh including room for about 1600 Baht. And his BBQ ribs are outstanding.[/QUOTE]Curious to know which Kinnaree you're referring to. I only know of the one in Pattaya. Is there another one in Bangkok?

[QUOTE=Lefeu;1890867]Curious to know which Kinnaree you're referring to. I only know of the one in Pattaya. Is there another one in Bangkok?[/QUOTE]Yes, the one in Pattaya. It was mentioned in this thread as comparison to The Den in Bangkok.

[QUOTE=Kumbu;1890645]Warning: no sex in this report.

So three things. Why did I say she is very pretty? What kind of dumb move was that? (1) Every horny man says that. You're better than that Kumbu, you're better than that. (2) She was plainly NOT pretty, why would I feel the need to lie like that? Ugh. (3) How could she say 'I know! Very odd.

So anyway, the next thing she says is that she is very popular with the men from the land of the rising sun, and I said:

K: check bin!

Damage: 180 (my drink) + 200 (LD) + 20 (tip), total=400 baht.

As I left, the mirror-girl was casting her gaze my way. I stopped on my way out, smiled at her, and walked out. I'll be back, Pretentious Pudgy Girl, oh yes, I will be back.

Next post: Bangkok Beat.

Next to Next Post: Climax.[/QUOTE]Last point first. She was very pretty but just to someone else's taste. I am amazed how ugly are the girls selected by other customers.

For some guys young equals pretty, to orhers raunchyvequals pretty. Not many guys really care a lot about the face. LOL. Big tits will do.

I like like to check out girls for a long while before showing enthusiasm. So I don't catch her gaze if I can help it until I really decide I like her already.

These means keeping my eyes on the move if she is paying attention at all. Some girls are not paying any great attention so no problem there. So my look away does not show my lack of interest? Merely not ready to decide or take action. Once I decide, she will very soon know. I will give her the nod or even stand in front if her if needed to get her attention assuming she is not hooked up already.

I do believe its unwise to meet gaze of a girl too long if she is of no interest since she will come and hassle you shortly. I know how to look very distant and disinterested and ignore girls when necessary even when they try to get in my face. Not catching a girl's gaze is a very useful skill even if goes against your normal character.

We have to choose and not allow the girl to choose us. Take time and choose carefully is my way. Sometimes I do make mistakes and she does not seem so good at close range or vibe is not good. No harm done. She will have to dance again. I simply look for a better replacement.

Or as you did, if no girl is good enough, no harm in moving on.

Staff in bars love to suggest girls, but I have no interest. They don't know my spec.

Finally actual sex acts are nit that interesting. So no actual is no problem. The hunt and decision is always important.

I don't bullshit girls. I only give genuine praise. Better to say nothing than say she is pretty if you don't mean it. If a girl asks me directly, i ask another question rather than answer, like "why do you care what I like" or something equally tangential.

This review is from my around a month back trip to Thailand. I had visited Pattaya and Bangkok during that trip.

Nataree Soapy massage is on Ratchadapisek Road next to Emerald Hotel.

Reason for selecting Nataree was that as per reviews it had higher number of Thai gals than any of the other massage parlors. I visited Nataree on two different days and on both days there were around 40- 50 gals. Higher the no. Of gals means higher probability to find gal of your liking.

Day 1.

On Day 1 I had selected a gal from fish bowl. Fish bowl gals have lowest charges and are the oldest among the lot. The younger the gals higher will be there charges.

This gal was tall and she gave me a nice massage which included hand job and then we had a playful session. Fucked her in doggy, wot and missionary.

Between the massage and session we chatted and I learnt quite a few things about Thai people and Bangkok.

Over all good experience.

Charges for Fish bowl gals were around 2000 baht.

Day 2.

Day 2 gal was notorious. Her massage was OK but while fucking she was making funny sounds.

Over all it was an average experience. Charges for Day 2 girl was around 2400 baht.

[QUOTE=Syzygies;1891227]For some guys young equals pretty, to orhers raunchyvequals pretty. Not many guys really care a lot about the face. LOL. Big tits will do.[/QUOTE]This is completely true, so true in fact, that watch out for my next-to-next post, in which I prove exactly this point, in spectacularly hypocritical style. It hurts me to admit this, but honesty stings sometimes. I'll try to post that sometime on Friday, if I can find some time in the day to write it up.

[QUOTE=Syzygies;1891227]I don't bullshit girls. I only give genuine praise. Better to say nothing than say she is pretty if you don't mean it. If a girl asks me directly, i ask another question rather than answer, like "why do you care what I like" or something equally tangential.[/QUOTE]My point exactly. I did bullshit this girl, and it makes absolutely no sense. There is no upside to it, as far as I can tell, and it comes from (I think) just regular social instincts. I think such instincts need to be suspended in this cartoonish world of gogo girl interaction.

There is something existentially magnifying when one finds that perfect gem in the sea of cubic zirconia. You look and you look, and at some point you feel the tension between fatigue on the one hand, and bulging testicular demand on the other. Which wins out? Sometimes, the scrotal imperative wins out, but to devastating effects. That's when you bed the very wrong person, just so you can bed [B]someone[/B]. You are so desperate to fuck that you acquiesce to the first proposition and tell yourself that at least you will get to fuck tonight. I dubbed this Cum Goggles in my previous post, and I was determined not to succumb to this effect tonight. I would rather retire with a quick wrist-whack to little Kumbu than spend money, time and energy on the wrong person. Perhaps with the mellowing of age, I have become more willing to forego the less-than-perfect-fuck in favor of keeping my powder dry for the battle the next night. That's especially noteworthy, since this is my first night in BKK after three long years, remember.

But fear not. I found my diamond tonight, and oh what a spectacularly brilliant gem she is. Sheesh, little Kumbu is beginning to ooze just thinking about her. So let me tell you about her, shall I? I have subsectioned this so you can skip down to the dirty bits if you want, but I begin with the story of how it all went down in Climax.

[B]Finding my High Priestess[/B]
I walked from BB to Climax, the time being just before 1:30 am. As I walked, I got a butt-load of attention from the numerous SWs on Suk. There was one in particular who had the sweetest smile on all of Suk. She was shortish, but had superb legs on display. She was wearing a black knee-high dress, and she looked at me with a soft, inviting smile. I was seriously tempted, but decided not to in the end. For whatever reason, SWs make me a little nervous. I know this is irrational, but that's just me. But I tell you what, it kind of put me in my groove. All this attention was really doing it for me. Given the monastic vow of celibacy I have endured over the last three years, just a smile from a beautiful woman was getting my engine running.

For those that don't know Climax, it is in the Ambassador Hotel. You enter the hotel property, but rather than entering the building, you go down the ramp on the left side, into the un-posted garage. Hidden within the bowels of this old, run-down edifice is the Climax club. I paid 250 entry, and got hustled by the door-check girl (who wanted to give me a beer and get a tip). I remember her from 3 years ago I chewed her out then because she kept hassling me with her demands for free drinks (yah, right?) So I gave her the cold shoulder this time.

When I entered the club, it was the polar opposite to BB. This may sound trite, but I was reminded of the Simon and Garfunkel song: And in the naked light I saw, ten thousand people, maybe more; people talking without speaking, people hearing without listening.

I walked in with one heck of a smug smile on my face. Perhaps because of the attention I was getting on the way over to Climax, something within me changed, and I suddenly had some verve within me. I was feeling it, I had my Mac-Daddy vibe going on, and I could not contain it. I owned the room the second I entered, at least in my own mind. Again, I was relatively well dressed: my top-drawer white shirt (smart casual), brown smart slacks, quality shoes, plenty of gel in the hair, and oversized confidence on display. I walked in, stopped in some space next to the first pillar and looked at each and every girl in my vicinity. And guess what? They were all looking at me, smiling. I fuck you not: Climax was WORKING for me on Monday night.

Fuck, it was exhilarating. Having all these pliable women assessing me, smiling, working out how to get into my pants, and thereby my wallet, it was better than any narcotic imaginable. A wise man once said "Money is the World's Greatest Aphrodisiac. ".

I walked 5 steps forward and I felt a tug on my elbow, followed by a little, high-pitched 'oooy'. I look back and some face in the crowd is smiling at me. I walk on to the corner of the path before making a turn back towards to toilets, and as I walk through there, I get the same elbow-tug, this time from yet another girl. Fuck, I've never been this hot in Climax. It was like fishing in a lake full of hungry, gorgeous fish. You can pick whichever you want, but you only have one hook so you need to be careful not to pull the piddly half-pounder when you know there is a 75-pound marlin somewhere in there.

Let me say at this point that my description is not about bragging. I am not that much of a looker, in truth. I'm not ugly, but Brad Pitt I am not. Moreover, my age is definitely showing. My hair is thinning, my face is beginning to crack, etc. So my point in telling you about how hot I was in Climax is to convey to you something about Climax, not me. There were [B]tons[/B] of available, hungry girls there, in stark contrast to BB.

I got to the back and took the step up to that platform and as I turned the corner a girl with a red halter top (mmmmm, I love red halter tops, almost as much as I love teal halter tops) looks at me like 'look down sailor, my ass is beckoning'. So I did, and it did. Beckon that is. Shite, she had a pair of tight, tight jeans on that revealed a near-perfect bubble butt. In my mind, I put my fingers in my mouth and bit down hard. Ay-ya-yay. But I needed to be patient. I needed to make a full round before settling on anyone in particular.

As I proceeded, I stepped down off the platform making the turn back towards the front, and there in that corner (which, in case you are confused, is the right, back corner if you are standing at the front door looking towards the back of the club) was a gaggle of sumptuous beauties. Gaggle of beauties? Flock of beauties? Clutch of beauties? Crotch of beauties? Ball-sack of beauties? Whatever, there were six of them, all displaying leg meat designed to give Kumbu an erectile aneurism. And little Kumbu dutifully obliged: precum literally spurted out of the end of my dick when I saw the scene of twelve, beautiful, shapely, bare legs. Goddam, we have GOT to find a way to make such displays obligatory in every city, town and village in America. Ugh, America, that just killed the boner, right?

These six girls, atop twelve sumptuous legs, were all part of a group, and they were spectacular specimens. The pick of the bunch was wearing a skin-tight one-piece minidress. You know, the CFMD (Come Fuck Me Dress). It was black with horizontal neon yellow stripes. She had a face that glowed with sheer beauty. She had an ever-so-slight tummy (not pot belly, just a small bit of flesh, which is delicious in my view), and her legs were ga-ga-ga-DDAM. I stopped in my tracks, the left side of her lips lifted in the simulation of a smile, we held gaze for a moment or two, and then a crowd of ugly girls came between us, breaking the spell.

I continued my walk around, keeping in mind the red-halter-top and the CFMD. I saw at least a dozen more very, very fuckable ladies as I made my travels around the club, and so I knew tonight I would not be doing the wrist-whack. I decided to play it coy and let them come to me. Often, when the girl picks you, things turn out better. The worst thing you can do is force the issue with a girl, since you need her to want to go with you. No matter how hot you think she is, she needs to reciprocate to some degree. If you don't do it for her, you will still get to insert penis into vagina, but it won't be anything memorable. Whereas if she is into you, even slightly, things will be much better than abstract copulation.

So I went to the back of the club and stood there, pretend-listening to the music and checking my phone, as if I was waiting for a friend to join me, but he / she had not texted yet. Argh, why does Imaginary Friend always do that to me?

[B]Plumage Seen, Let the Mating Dance Begin[/B]
I was positioned equidistant between halter top to my right and CFMD to my left, and I could see both of them through my peripheral vision. Halter top had a friend (very, very hot too), and they were both looking over at me and talking intensely about me. And on my left, CFMD was standing there, looking over once in a while. Meanwhile, one of CFMD's friends had taken a liking to me, which is bad news. Often, the hotter of the chicks will defer to the less hot chick because less-hot-chick has such trouble getting her man. So it is cruel to take the guy who the ugly girl wants. I was hoping that this would not become a whole drama, where I had to somehow decline the offer of the ugly girl, since if that were to happen, there would be no chance of landing CFMD. The concept of face saving precludes the possibility of hot girl going with the man that jilts ugly friend. I hate this, but you can't argue with the laws of the jungle.

But while my mind was occupied with all of this, another girl (hitherto undetected by the Gaze of Kumbu) walked up to me, stood, 6 inches from me with her drink in front of her, and offered her drink for a quick clink with my Heineken. I looked at her face, which was kind of less-than-attractive (not ugly, but just odd), and through my peripheral vision, I *thought* I saw some really impressive legs and ass. It was hard to do looking right into her eyes, but that's what my Kumbu sense told me. Kumbu sense is usually a reliable old fucker, and I trusted him this time. So I clinked drinks, smiled broadly, and the girl giggles off to her group of friends (who all look over and giggle adorably). As clink-girl returns to her friends, my suspicion was confirmed: astounding ass detected. She was wearing a red blouse with black skin-tight jeans, but the jeans were so skin tight that I could see every curve down there. And the curves were pleasing. In fact, so pleasing were the curves, I would term them devastating. Devastatingly Curvy Girl (DCG).

Yes! That's three super-hot potentials already, within the first 10 minutes of coming into Climax, and moreover, one of those super-hot potentials (DCG) was working me. It's great to have three superlative options at hand, and even better to be pursued by one of them.

Meanwhile, red-halter top had been joined by a group of thuggish, balding mid-thirties white dudes. So I guess that was that. But CFMD was looking intently in my direction, wondering if clink-girl had just nipped in ahead of her and stolen this over-geled schmuck with a goofy grin away.

Five minutes pass, and then DCG walks stage-left with a frumpy friend of hers. Hmm, where are they off to? No idea. I wait a moment, and then decide to make my way around stage-right. As I walk, I can feel the piercing looks from all directions. The girls in the club sensed I was new, and they all wanted to get their meat hooks into me. Again, this is simply because I was the fresh meat, a newly available stream of income.

As I come to the front of the club, frumpy girl ambushes me and giggles "where you go? Why you see me walk this way and then you come the other way?" Ah, I see what you did there: you set the trap for me, then when I walked into it, you made it seem like I was the hunter. Touche, sweet, frumpy girl. 2 inches behind frumpy girl was DCG, standing off quietly. Frumpy girl had some big tits poking out of a push-up bra, and she was pushing them into my midsection as she interrogated me with the regular questions.

At first I thought this was a ploy to get me hooked up with DCG. Frumpy girl was acting like a wing girl, buttering me up, setting the stage to hand me off to DCG, but I quickly realized that she was making the play for herself. She was already making the ask, about buying her a drink etc. Whoa Nelly, hold up there, this stage coach ain't leaving town just yet.

So I maneuver my body around frumpy girl so I can saddle up to DCG and I start taking the questions from frumpy girl and answering them directly to DCG. I gave my attention to DCG, and smiled at her, and then I turned slightly and slowly and subtly nudged frumpy girl, inch by inch, off to the side while I asked DCG about the drink-clink maneuver she pulled earlier. Five minutes later and frumpy girl has walked off, to my delight, leaving me alone with DCG. We talked easily, fluidly for 5 minutes. The band started to play a song called 'Take it to your heart', which I vaguely recognized, and this becomes important in a moment.

So I pull out my phone and feign reading a text from Imaginary Friend and I said "Aaaw, too bad, my friend is not coming tonight. So I'm tired, maybe I'll just go back to my hotel room. ' And right on cue, the band singer breaks out of the song and changes the lyrics from 'Take me to your heart' to 'Take me to your hotel'! I fuck you not, that really happened, with perfect timing for me! I looked at her, she looked at me, and we both bust out laughing at the top of our lungs. It was great. In retrospect, now that I think about it, the girls probably know rotation of songs, and that particular trick by the band must be a regular, planned event. The girls probably time their attacks for the one or two songs that precede this song in the rotation, just so that line can have its intended effect. What a well-planned attack that was.

The rest is history: I winked at her, she winked at me, and without a word she leads the way out the door. No mention of ST / LT bullshit or money or particular sex acts, just buzzing, thrilling sexual attraction. Fuck, this is going to be good.

We take a taxi back to Asoke, and the whole way we are talking. The talking is [B]easy[/B] there is no tension between us, the jokes flow, the teasing ensues, she reveals bits and pieces about herself, and it is really working. In other words, we have genuine chemistry, the import of which I cannot stress enough. Fuck, this is going to be good.

[B]Unveiling the Beauty[/B]
We get into the room at around 1:50 am, and rather than sprinting for the shower, she sits down and we talk. And talk. And talk. All fully clothed, mind you, but we just talk and joke for a good 15 minutes. She gradually starts to creep toward the shower, and as such, she gradually starts to take bits and pieces of clothing off. As they come off, I am keeping my eye contact with her, but my attention is riveted on the flesh that lies beneath, and it's looking A-ok for now. Finally, she says, "Shower?" And I consent, at which point she turns to me, looks me right in the eye, and in a totally deadpan voice, says 'I'm very shy'. Simultaneously, she drops her pants and pulls off her top, revealing some sexy, string-lingerie. And she just stands there for me to look at. That is, she was kidding about being shy, but she had to put on the pretense of being a shy girl.

So she stood there in her utterly revealing lingerie, and friends, FUCK. ME. Her body was even more devastatingly gorgeous than I had imagined. I mean, this body was about as perfect as I could ever have hoped for. As she stood there, I realized how tall she is. Turns out she is 5'6", which is tall for a Thai girl. She has long, gorgeous legs, shaved immaculately, and therefore smooth as butter (more on than anon). As she rotated her body for me (yes, she did that of her own free will), the ass that had lured me was revealed, and muther fucker, it boggled my mind. In fact, I actually, spontaneously muttered 'mutherfucker' as her ass turned and faced me full-on. I honestly felt like Wolfie in that cartoon where his eyes bulge and pop as he hoots and hollers at the female of his attention on stage.

The ass was neither large nor small, but super-well-shaped, and it looked ever so firm. She had slight stretch marks on the outside of the ass, but that was definitely not the child bearing kind (wrong location), it was more the like kind that someone who used to be heavy and has dropped some weight has. Turns out that is correct: when she was in high school, she was, in her own words, a little fattie. Now, not so much. Her hips were wide, though, which is what gave the ass that extra impressive roundness. Her waist was super toned and firm, and her legs were [you]out of this fucking world[ / be]. How can I explain it to you?

Being the leg specialist that I am, you know I have seen more than my share of legs. I know a good leg when I see one, and I have a full typology of legs that I refer to every day, all day, as I walk around town. My mind is consumed by legs, it is obsessed with legs, and legs rule my every thought, to some degree or the other. I have seen all ranges of legs, and I have very, very particular preferences (just like we all do for our own personal fetishes). I want my ladies' legs to have very particular dimension, very particular flesh types, very particular muscle tone, very particular ratios, etc. In short, legs for me need to be well proportioned (e. G. , East Asian women often have lovely legs, but they also often have disproportionately short lower legs, I. E. , the length from knee to ankle is disproportionately short compared to the length from knee to hip), they need to have slim (but not skinny) ankles, which draw out to a well-toned, well proportioned calf muscle. This is the key for me: the quality of the calf. If it is even slightly skinny, I'm out. If it is overly muscular, then that's a turn off. So it is just a very, very particular fetish that I have, and it has been the jet fuel that has powered my entire mongering life (since I was in my late teens, actually).

So how often does this happen in life, my friends, where the object of your life-long fetish comes to fruition? I can't tell you how many years I have been looking for this perfect combination of attributes. It was so stunning, that without thinking, literally (I kid you not), I lifted my arms and clutched my head, in the universal 'it's too much for me to bear' gesture. And that happened instinctively, such was the overwhelming sense of astonishment I was feeling. Kid in candy store, anyone?

And add to all of this the fact that she was absolutely uninhibited about these beautiful morsels. She was bouncing around the room unaware of the effect this was having on me. I was quite honestly completely immobilized, transfixed, unable to breath or avert my gaze. I could feel some kind of neurochemicals blasting into my system, and it was invigorating me instantly. And such was the rush, within the 30 seconds of her prancing around the room semi-nude, my hands started to shake uncontrollably. I hastily crossed my arms to hide this, and I ushered her into the shower, so I could cool myself down.

She hinted at a shared shower, but I put the kaibosh on that idea. I really don't like shared showering all that much. It's too awkward, and it just turns me off when I see the beauty of the being in there with me, compared to the hairy, ugliness of Kumbu's body. Silly? Maybe. But there you have it. So off she went for her showering. I shook with excitement, and I started to breath more calmly and deeply to sooth my nerves. I was really, really tired, which was contributing to this erratic behavior. But she was also really, really sexy, which was the primary contributor. So I breathed calmly, closed my eyes, relaxed. When she came out, we talked a bit more before I went in and cleaned up.

Back in bed, we sat on the covers, both in our towels, talking for another 10 minutes or so. Again, we talked so openly and comfortably, it was a real pleasure. She is a spark plug, that's for sure, with an excellent sense of humor. Slowly, the towel would drop off, and she would pull it up, just for the sake of decorum. But eventually, she just let the towel sit in her lap. Her breasts were a solid be cup, soft and supple. You could tell that they had been ever-so-slightly soft from the effect of a child (they were still pert, but obviously nor as perky as pre-child breasts are), so we talked about her child. Yes, one child, age 7 yrs, father cheated on her, he's out of their life, you know, the standard Issan female story.

[b]The Dirty Bits[/b]
Eventually, we both sneak under the covers and the towels come off. For the first time, we are full-body skin-to-skin, and she feels so fucking silky. As we talk, my hands start to gently caress her arms, and her shoulders. I slowly caress her neck and upper chest (being sure to avoid her breasts, since I prefer to save the full-on stimulation for later). I move on to the tummy, softly caressing in various directions and hand shapes. All this while, we're talking about something or the other. I am remarkably good at maintaining such conversations as a pretense to grope naked flesh.

The real pleasure began when I managed to get my hands down to her ass and legs. For the first time, I laid my hands fully into her ass and my heart stood still. It was a firm, full, fleshy ass. Such asses are rare in Thailand you get the scrawny, bony ass, or you get the full, flabby ass, aka, the McDonald's ass. But her ass was a proper ass. That's the best word I can find to describe it. It was proper in the sense that when you close your eyes and imagine the perfect, most classic of sexy ass-shapes, you imagine what I had in my hands in the wee hours of Tuesday morning. My hands played with the flesh for a good 10 minutes, alternating between the ass and the legs.

Now, her legs were superb. As mentioned above, know that I am a leg connoisseur. Legs are my thing. Given the choice of legs, ass, breasts or face, I'll pick legs any day of the week. This girl had legs of sheer perfection. Her thighs were firm, full and very toned. She runs 5 times per week, she reveals to me, approximately 3 km each time. She works out at the gym 3 times per week too, and it shows. Her muscles in her arms were similarly toned. But her legs were so firm and shapely that it hurt to even think about. I kept having to look and feel again, just so I would believe how awesome it all was.

So I massaged and caressed her legs and ass for about 10 more minutes, with little Kumbu a purple, bulging rage. But I soon found myself gently running my hands over her pussy. It was well trimmed, and smelled (from afar at least) like the most elegant of restaurants. Little Kumbu was so raging at this point that I was blasting precum onto the bed every few seconds. Those legs and ass were the archetypal image of my most deep-seeded sexual fantasies since the age of 13 yrs, and the most primal, cave-man parts of my brain were being activated right now. It truly felt like a base, primitive, foundational nerve was suddenly reawakened and was firing on full cylinders for the first time in decades. I thought those parts of me were dead, but here they are, reawakened, living a new life, like the Lazarus that is Kumbu tonight.

[b]Entering the Monastery[/b]
So I kissed her chest, above the breasts. This was the first time my lips had touched her tonight, mind you. I pepper her chest with gentle kisses, avoiding the nipples as best I could. I kissed her breast flesh carefully, and tried to get every inch of skin on her upper body. I made my way down to the her pubic region, and when I got there, I was not disappointed. It was clean, clean, clean. Moreover, she has the teensiest, cutest little clit I had ever seen. In fact, I could not even see it. There was a small little hood, and there was a little knob hiding beneath it, but the hood+clit must have been about the size and dimensions of a 2-inch wood nail (imagine that, upside down with the head at the bottom). It was a small sliver. Her pussy lips, on the other hand, were plentiful. So there was lots to suck into my mouth, but I knew immediately that this girl was going to require some work. Small, well-hidden clits are fun to play hide and seek with, but stimulating them is always tricky. But I'm game for a long session at the 'why'.

And so it began, my most spiritual, fulfilling, thrilling and pre-cum-generating session of cunillingus ever. As I went down to begin, I just happened to catch a glimpse of the clock in the corner of my eye: it was 2:44 am. I began with some gentle kissing, licking, and probing with the tongue. I started digging around with my tongue for that clit. It was in there somewhere, it just had to be. There were two problems. The first was the miniscule size of the clit. It was small, but definitely there. Second, and relatedly, the hood completely covered that little sucker, sheltering it perfectly to all outside forces. So the key was to expose the clit, which means flesh needed to be shifted around. Specifically, that hood needed to go.

With the tip of my tongue, I shoved the hood upwards, and she gasped a little. Ok, progress. But the hood just slipped right back down to cover up the little clit. So I repeated, and she gasped a little. Ok, I think I got it. My technique then was to push the hood back while pressing down with good pressure, thereby exerting friction to the exposed clit on the way up. I then flicked my tongue back down with the same pressure, letting the hood slip down too. And then I repeated that whole process. This way, the clit was under constant but changing pressure, and exposed for most of this process. She seemed to really dig it, so I stuck with this for a while. This became the regular clit stimulation portion of the DATY routine, as you will see below.

Occasionally, I would stop this process, just to give my tongue muscles time to regain strength, and during these little interludes, I would open my tongue up into as wide and flat shape as I could, and then just mop up the whole pussy, from top to bottom. It was like the tongue slap you get from an over-friendly golden retriever: lick, lick, lick, lots of slobber from a big, fat tongue. This was just the most awesome DATY I was enjoying, and I was very aware of its super-awesomeness. But then I went back to working that clit, and she would just groan and moan like all was well with the world.

At the next break time, instead of giving her the golden retriever treatment, I put my hands underneath her butt and lifted it up a little, and then I stuck my tongue as deep into her pussy as I could. On my way out, I circled the edges of the actual hole: I did around 10 clockwise circles, and then 10 counter-clockwise circles, feeling the edges of her very womanhood. And she enjoyed that. But while I was down there, I decided to go for the taint. I put my lips around the taint and gently suckled it, one lip on the top side of the Great Divider, the other lip on the other, more taboo side, and my tongue washing over the taint in all direction. She moaned, though I could sense she was a little conscious about this.

Aw fuck it, I went lower and plunged my tongue into her asshole, circling it gently back and forth. I then did the golden retriever move, except this time it started down inside her ass, and then wiped broadly upwards over her taint, her pussy hole, her pussy lips and finally roughly across her hood. She really enjoyed that, and so did I, so I did it a dozen times or so, with minor variations from time to time. And then I went back to the regular hood-clit rubbing.

Every time I took one of these asshole-licking breaks, her groans would slow a little, but then when I went back to the clit, her groans would come back louder than before. So in this process, I was slowly ramping her up, getting her closer and closer to the end.

But in a weird way, I did not want this to end. Her pussy was utterly without foulness. You know how a woman is fresh and tasty for the first 20 minutes, and then her juices start to flow and the stank sets in? Well, this girl's juices were flowing, as evidenced by the puddle in the middle of my bed, but the scent was fantastic. It wasn't innocuous since there was a definite scent to her. But the scent was not stank, it was, well, scent. It was the essence of her, and I had my tongue in the essence of this woman.

At one point, I spread her legs, then with my fingers I spread her labia, and I lifted her pussy to get the angle right, and then I pushed my tongue deep into her pussy, right down to the root of my tongue. I pushed so far I thought I might pull a tendon or muscle or something, but I could not stop myself. Tongue deep within this woman's body, my upper lip was pushed hard against her clit and my lower lip was across the taint and rubbing against her asshole. To achieve this position, my mouth was wide open, gaping in fact, almost like I was stuck in a silent scream, shouting right into the depths of her pussy. Goddam, the thought of my mouth wide open, tongue fully extended and inserted into her pussy, my entire face pressed hard against her holiest of holies, one lip rubbing her clit and the other rubbing her asshole was such a scene of decadent over-consumption that I could feel myself coming to an orgasm, without any stimulation to little Kumbu at all. So I had to pull back a little, and go back to the clit stimulation.

This process repeated itself over and over again, and I lost track of how many times I went through the cycle, but every time I got to stick my tongue into her pussy and lick her butthole, I was rejuvenated and reenergized for the next cycle. And so I would eagerly get back into the clit rubbing just because I knew that on the other end of this was some more pussy-asshole debauchery. Also, now, as I did the rhythmical up-down clit rubbing, she would grab the hair on the side of my head and pull and push my head, kind of like my head was a little vibrator and she was masturbating. That thought pleased me greatly.

Alternatively, during some of this process, she would tighten her silky, sexy thighs around my ears and guide me with her thighs. So I could not hear anything except the soft sily rub of her inner thighs. I could not taste anything other than the soft, wet delight of her pussy and asshole. I could not smell anything except the wash of her pussy juice all over my face. And my hands were up around her breasts, squeezing and rubbing her nipples, and her calves would wrap around my shoulders. So taking all of this into account, I had pussy, asshole, thighs, calves and breasts all around me. It was such a superb sensation. To be deprived of regular perception and sensation and to have nothing but pussy, asshole, thighs, calves, and breasts as your sole sensory input was so overwhelming, so viscerally spiritual, that I began to feel the presence of a higher being of consciousness. Dining at her 'why', that night, had become a downright religious experience, brought on by legs, pussy and ass that met my every dream since teenage hood. Boys, I am a happy Kumbu tonight. I imagine that this is why monks hole themselves up in monasteries and retreats, where they can get their entire world focused in on one heavenly concept. Likewise, I was in my monastery here, worshiping at the alter of female form.

At some point, perhaps after 90 minutes of this (yeah, you read that right), fatigue began to set in, and my mind started to get fuzzy. I started losing sense in my extremities, well, all extremities except little Kumbu that is. But my mind was beginning to wander, to lose its grip on reality. I think I was becoming delusional, seeing abstract shapes in my peripheral vision, and hearing the sound of the river I used to play near when I was a child. And at some point in the butthole licking cycle, as I had her pussy spread wide, my mouth gorging on her insides from both holes, I pulled back ever so slightly, and I heard myself whisper to her pussy, gently, soulfully, "Yes, it's true, I DO still exist. " It's true: that happened, and I had no conscious control over it.

So she crescendoed several times, but there was never a great big heaving thump of an orgasm, which is why I just kept at it. After a long, long time, she tired, and her moans eased, and I took my cue to pull up. It was only then did I realize that we had been at it such a long time. I looked at the clock, and to my amazement, it was 5:35 am. Whhhhaaaaa? I had been doing this DATY from 2:40 am until 5:35 am?! Almost three hours of DATY. That's some religious DATY, right there.

Phew.

[b]All Aboard the No-Fuck Train[/b]
She was looking at me like I was from outer space. Did I have pussy juice all over my face? I wiped my face, but she was still looking at me funny. I asked her why she did not cum, and she looked confused. I repeated myself, and she chuckled, not answering. Hmm?

So we cuddled for a while, talking about this and that. Little Kumbu was still raging, but something odd began to appear deep within me, something I have never felt before. I hesitate to tell you guys this, since it may well enrage some of you, but I did promise you honesty. Oddly, I did not want to fuck this girl.

It's hard to explain. It was not fatigue, nor a lack of sexual arousal (purple little Kumbu can testify to that). And it was definitely not a lack of attraction: she was fucking turning my screws harder than ever as I lay there at nearly 6 am on Tuesday morning. No, it was something different. I felt like we had had such a supremely satisfying and utterly perfect three hours of mutual pleasuring, that to move on to the copulation would somehow be, I dunno, crude? It would somehow sully the perfection of the night, and I so wanted to cherish what I had just experienced. Am I making any sense here? Just typing this I am wondering what the fuck was happening in my brain, but remember, I was horribly sleep deprived, I had been cloistered within the temple walls of her leg and pussy flesh for a third of a work day, and I was delusional in many ways. But there you have it.

We kept talking, and after 10 minutes of pussy footing around, she just comes out and asks:

"You want to fuck now?

I smiled, eyes glazed over a little. She frowns her brow a little, looking at me.

"You no want to fuck?

I said no, I explained it was not her it was me, you know, the usual. She was surprised, but not terribly disappointed. She had had hers, so why complain? We went back and forth between her sleeping there or leaving, and I told her I need to wake up for work in 3 hours. So we decided better for her to leave now. So we showered together, which despite what I said earlier, turned into a one final super, bubbly butt-squeezing delight.

I paid her 2500 baht. She did not complain, or show any kind of reaction, which I think is the norm for these kinds of transactions.

As she walked out the door, I felt a longing for her perfect, voluptuous legs and her firm, silky butt, but I did not feel dissatisfied in any way. Little Kumbu was not particularly happy, but fuck that little guy. I had just been through a religious experience. I was feeling utterly redeemed, saved, I had found salvation. I will be repeating with this girl, that's for damned sure.

As I climbed into bed, I realized that I had to sleep in the corner of the bed because there were puddles of precum, pussy juice and spit all over the bed, with an especially large puddle right in the middle. Kumbu, you are one depraved muther fucker. And as I was falling asleep, I realized that the base of my tongue really, really hurt. I think I did pull something in my tongue as I tongue-fucked that gorgeous pussy.

Yes, it's true, I DO still exist. Heh, I crack myself up.

Continued from Massage Section.

After a nice break in at Mitu ultimate destination for the night was Nana as my regular works in cowboy so didn't want to get made. Looked a few places but was interested to see the buzz about billboard so that was the first place I went in to. I have to say the talk was right, place had a full stock of girls and good vibe. Mama san was a bit pushy, guessing this is the one mentioned, but it wasn't unmanageable. She did bring over this hottie who turned out to be the dancer from the paint show who promptly sat on my lap. She was smoking and the body was right in in all the right places, but she only goes short time, and best I could negotiate was 4 k for 2 hours, and I was suspicious I would never get my 2 hours. She also went through two lady drinks pretty fast, granted I was getting a good semi lap dance so that didn't bother me. But there were just too many red flags, and for the slow season and already 12:30 just wasn't flying for me. When I went to move on she confirmed it with being insistent on a tip after at least 2 maybe 3 lady drinks in maybe 45 minutes and was quite indignant when I pointed out I already bought multiple drinks. Still however the little head really wanted to take her out. Slipped across to hooters for a beer with a friend headed to the airport then back to nana and spied a few places but were all pretty light so headed back to billboard. Enjoyed some more of the shows, somehow missed the hottub corner, I spent my time on the left hand side as you walked in, should have changed it up on 2nd time. Getting pretty late now and was narrowing in on an odd choice for me. There were two short haired sorta punk girls who while clearly drunk were naughty looking, really danced showing off the body, and generally happy. I focused on the dark haired one and had some drinks, English was a bit less than average, but we managed, both of us bit sloshed anyway. Barfine was 700 and LT I negotiated with mamasan to 4 k since it was already past 2. She tried the pay now bit but didn't fall for that and wasn't given any problem. She took a while to change which was annoying but finally out and taxi back to hotel. Performance was pretty decent with a repeat in the morning so no complaints. Would even consider repeating maybe seeing if getting the friend too with some booze might produce something interesting. Anyway, the selection at billboard was solid, probably better than anything I saw at cowboy a few days later as well and the atmosphere and shows were fun. Definite repeat on billboard for me.

Scheduled a nice 2 hour session with Benz at SW who is my normal first round go to but was booked when I arrived the night before so had an afternoon session. She was great as usual. Sure the breasts are manmade and the nose is fake, but her personality is great and eager to please and others everything. For oily girls she is going to remain one of my favorites. I tip ahead of session to since I know I am going to and that way may inspire her even a bit more.

Having never checked out Thermae I was interested to see what it was all about. I met another senior member for a beer at Hooters on 11 and we headed over. Was interesting to see for myself, I guess I sorta pictured something a bit more current and less 80's vibe. Also didn't expect to see that none of the girls drink, they just stand there very passive. Got a drink and did a loop and my buddy laid it out for me. Was quite interesting at least and different since I am normally an MP and gogo person. Did another loop and spent some time observing. This was a Saturday night prime time 10-12 frame so place was packed with girls. I think I also thought I would able to sort out the part timers from regulars easier but that really wasn't apparent, at least not to my virgin eyes. I had the next day planned out with new girl from January so didn't want to stay out late and didn't feel like heading anyplace else so took a flyer on a girl. First mistake, should have kept it to 2 or 2. 5 k, I agreed to 3 k, which was definitely overpaying, can't say what I was thinking there. Rookie mistake and I should know better. Next mistake was that my conversation didn't involve any details on performance and should have used the suggested CIM question as a baseline for willingness. Anyway, back to room, shower, CBJ, and then she is too lazy to be on top and complaining about size in mish. Did put her sideways and from behind and did some damage in that position to at least get some of my baht worth. Unfortunately couldn't finish and tried to get her on top which failed. She did finish me off with handjob, but honestly that seems like a poor finish in BKK. However I didn't want it to be total bust so went with it and sent her on her way. She did have a nice young 22 year old body and I have had worse experiences so was still an ok night. Next time need to cover those two basis in negotiation. There are certainly the girls only interested in the asean cliental and farangs were by far the minority in the place. That being said I am willing to give it another shot at a later date maybe on way to Nana or Cowboy.

[QUOTE=Haven123;1887665]And yes, I saw the girls outside in those kimonos. But, you know none of the girls in their kimonos (another draw for the Japanese I presume), I saw when they were out in front at that cart buying stuff in their kimonos looked anything great. I could not figure that out..[/QUOTE]I still don't get it. On stage or off stage CH girls are just mediocre to average in looks.

[QUOTE=Kumbu;1891315]This is completely true, so true in fact, that watch out for my next-to-next post, in which I prove exactly this point, in spectacularly hypocritical style. It hurts me to admit this, but honesty stings sometimes. I'll try to post that sometime on Friday, if I can find some time in the day to write it up.

My point exactly. I did bullshit this girl, and it makes absolutely no sense. There is no upside to it, as far as I can tell, and it comes from (I think) just regular social instincts. I think such instincts need to be suspended in this cartoonish world of gogo girl interaction.[/QUOTE]I don't have the instinct to do the fake praise. When I do praise, I get "paak waan" sometimes so maybe girls are expecting bullshit I don't know. However some know I won't call a girl to me unkess I think she has something special.

[QUOTE=LuckyIs1;1891272]This review is from my around a month back trip to Thailand. I had visited Pattaya and Bangkok during that trip.

Nataree Soapy massage is on Ratchadapisek Road next to Emerald Hotel.

Reason for selecting Nataree was that as per reviews it had higher number of Thai gals than any of the other massage parlors. I visited Nataree on two different days and on both days there were around 40- 50 gals. Higher the no. Of gals means higher probability to find gal of your liking.

Day 1.

On Day 1 I had selected a gal from fish bowl. Fish bowl gals have lowest charges and are the oldest among the lot. The younger the gals higher will be there charges..[/QUOTE]Heads-up: For those interested in checking Nataree out, visit the "Bangkok Massage Parlors. Except Tulip and Annies!" thread. Apparently, Nataree has been taken out of commission.