Seeking Arrangements

[QUOTE=WyattEarp;2771270]Hi Steve, having read your stuff for a long time and conversed with you directly it would seem you have a lot of flexibility in your marriage. Not to get too personal, but based on your posts it seems like don't ask, don't tell.

In any event, your travels are amazing and the envy of most of us here. You have many opportunities to work your SD magic in many USA Cities and several countries.[/QUOTE]You are right. I am living the time of my life right now. But no it's not exactly a flexible don't ask don't tell relationship. A couple things here that other marrieds might cobsider:

1. At first I was paralyzed that she might find out. But the more I thought about it I realized I'the be happier single than married at this stage. I want to keep things together "for the kids" for a couple more years. And she NEEDS me. She's very dependent on me. If things went south she's be waaaaay more fucked than I would. So it's kinda funny. I keep it private for HER sake not for mine. She's a smart girl tho. She prob knows something is up and too smart to push to hard because she knows she needs me more than I need her.

2. I work very hard to ensure all details are covered. If I say I am going out to dinner I make sure that place is open. I know the menu and "what I had". It's all made up. But she asks sometimes. Likewise I recently went in a trip and didn't actually go where she thinks I did. I took Shayla to Miami instead. But I had itinerary and hotel reservations for my pseudo location. Texted take off and landing at appropriate time zone adjusted times etc. It was a fuck load of work and very dicey at times! But totally worth the meticulous planning.

I guess those are my two key points to other married guys:

1. Consider how bad it would be if it all went south. Is it really that bad? Set your risk tolerance around this.

2. Engineer your opportunities and plan your cover story meticulously.

Or maybe I'm just fucking lucky. LOL.

[QUOTE=Steve9696;2771344]I guess those are my two key points to other married guys:

1. Consider how bad it would be if it all went south. Is it really that bad? Set your risk tolerance around this.

2. Engineer your opportunities and plan your cover story meticulously.

Or maybe I'm just fucking lucky. LOL.[/QUOTE]Just stay single and free to leave at any time! No way in hell I could have the patience for all of that. No way no how!

Been trying to decide whether to write this up or not because it probably just sounds like gloating and in some ways it is. But I love YOUR stories and live vicariously through them. I read Medellin and So Paulo and a few other forums just because I love this shit. I love reading a good field report. And who else am I going to spill my guts to besides you guys! So here goes.

To put this in context, you guys know I have coin but I got a ridiculous bonus year end so even the frugal side of me was just stomped out of existence which made it twice as fun. Plus some of these activities aren't as unaffordable as you might think. I've included prices. Of course Shayla was just in girlfriend mode so no costs there.

Of course for those just catching up Shayla is my SB from January whos become more like my girlfriend. She lives in an apt I own and the rest is just BFGF. Despite our 35 year age difference we get on like a house on fire. Just adore each other and try to spend as much time together as we can.

We flew into Miami and took an Uber to our beachside hotel because the cars we wanted don't hold luggage. LOL. So our first night we were car free. We got in around noon and had some sushi by the beach. Super good and so nice to be with my girl with no time limits! We did this once before with a mountains vacation and this even topped that.

Honestly tho our first day was def not the best of the lot. We had a fun time kicking around and walking on the beach but spent a fair amount of time figuring where we were going to get weed since it's illegal in Florida. Managed to score some finally. And had a lovely steak dinner at a high end steak house. Wagyu filet and cap ribeye. Wow. And wow on the bill too - $350. Worth it? Yea but just barely.

Oddly despite a couple advances sex never happened. This was a bit disconcerting but part of things being a bit more BFGF and not just someone I'm paying to suck my dick. But we fixed this totally the next day and beyond. Crashed like big dogs and slept in.

Got the car delivered to the hotel at 11 AM. A BMW I8 with suicide doors and all in metallic bright blue. Total head turner and great fun. Had it two days. $560 including delivery to our doorstep. Felt pretty badass. Had a nice lunch but had to keep it brief as we decided to book Parasailing at 1.

If you haven't parasailed you need to. Wow. That is something. We were up 400 feet in a tandem rig and drove right along the beach. It's pretty nerve wracking but amazing st the same time. High recommend. $300. Followed this up with Thai couples massage at 4 PM. Also high recommend on Thai massage. They really work and stretch you. Fixed a couple joint / back problems Shayla had. She was over the moon.

Can't recall exactly when but I brought up the fact that we didn't have sex day one and it was disappointing and I'the tried to initiate twice. Again now we are in BFGF land. She was really nice about it and said she didn't know I was trying to initiate and she is such a nerd she doesn't know how to handle these things but rest assured she always wants to have sex with me and just let her know and it's on.

So I made it a lot more clear when I was initiating after massage and before dinner and wow did we have some great sex. Not as good as nights two and three (stay tuned) but amazing nonetheless. Amazing dinner at an Asian fusion place by the water. $250. And a night in of smoking drinking and cuddling.

Third day we discovered the sixth floor dining and pool area. Duh why didn't we find this before! We ate breakfast at the restaurant there and it was mostly comped because she's a diamond member which was sweet. But the pool area overlooking a panoramic beach was priceless. Went to the beach first and had a glorious time. She loves the beach. Got super sandy but had fun. Then spent the remainder of the day in a poolside cabana now THAT is my style. Def king of the world.

Helicopter ride at 3:30. This was absolutely one of the best experiences of my life. Never done it before. It was epic. Just indescribable. And with my girl. Highlight of the trip. $700. Save your pennies and put this on your bucket list!

Had some amazing sex after the helicopter and I mean best so far particularly for her. She musta cum at leave five times maybe more. She literally couldn't walk after. Just a great time. Went for barbecue and the Casino after that where we lost a tidy pile of cash but she had fun. Not my fave. Great fun driving the I8 tho. Crashed hard again not even late really.

Last day was mostly poolside. Just lounging together and her in that bikini. Fuck she looks good. She pretty much initiated sex at some point when we were back in the room. Musta been morning because we checked out at 1. She straddled me on the chair and started kissing me and of course it was on after that. She dominated me a little bit from on top and I rather liked it. We got those skinny jeans off and I fingered her while we made out. Then Asian cowgirl in the chair. Wowza! After a while we moved to the bed — I literally carried her with dick in pussy and legs wrapped around like a movie or something and it totally worked! Started in mish from there obviously then Steve 2. Steve. Mish. Doggie. Cowgirl. BJ. And a couple rounds of that. Finally finished CIM in Steve 2. Once again she had multiple Os some that were mind bending. She was an absolute floppy wet dishrag after we finished. Just done for. But a smile size of Texas. And then more pool time. LOL.

So it was a packed 3. 5 days but we made it count. Epic car. Parasailing. Helicopter ride. Just a dream really. As I say I wasn't counting pennies this trip but as you see above some of these things are affordable if you save up and only do them once. I would def do both parasailing and heli again in a heartbeat. And oh have epic sex also. 😋. Thanks for tolerating my rambling. Hope some of u enjoyed it!

[QUOTE=Steve9696;2771344]

I guess those are my two key points to other married guys:

1. Consider how bad it would be if it all went south. Is it really that bad? Set your risk tolerance around this.

2. Engineer your opportunities and plan your cover story meticulously.[/QUOTE]Totally agree with you. My only small caveat is to be prepared if you do get caught. I have several friends that thought they'd never get caught and when they did get caught, they were totally unprepared for it. For me, I accept it's possible (and maybe even likely) that I'll get caught. But I pretty much know what I will do, and how I will live, in case I am caught.

Many years ago, I had a friend who was mongering all the time. He was happily married and loved his kids. And so I asked him, "What if your wife finds out?" he then just asked me, "What if YOUR wife finds out?" I simply said that I was prepared for that to happen, and that we cannot do the crime unless we can do the time. " he just looked at me in shock and disbelief. He said he could NEVER lose his family, and so his wife finding out would never be a possibility. But he didn't even hide his mongering that well. He was so open about it. Anyway, he got caught. It was a huge scandal because he was always viewed as the perfect loving and caring husband and father. He also somehow lost his job too. I know someone else that lost his job after he got caught. I'm not sure why these guys lost their jobs, but I do know that they were unprepared for getting caught, and that probably played some role.

Hows NYC for SA? It seems like competition isn't as high for women as prostitution is illegal so men are willing to pay more, plus people also make a retarded amount of money here in NYC. Also hot profiles but not as hot as other European cities I am glancing at.

[QUOTE=DigLicker;2771388]Hows NYC for SA? It seems like competition isn't as high for women as prostitution is illegal so men are willing to pay more, plus people also make a retarded amount of money here in NYC. Also hot profiles but not as hot as other European cities I am glancing at.[/QUOTE]Sorry my experience is pre-COVID there but what I found was mostly hideously expensive girls but a few gems to be found. Tried out things with 4 girls. This was early in my journey.

1 Viet mix. College girl. Unbelievably naive and she loved every minute of it. She's never had real DATY before! It was Amazing. A true crush.

2 Chinese with long blond hair. Super nice time. Dinner drinks and sex. Quality.

3 35 year old first timer. Did not work out. But would have now that I am a experienced. But I was a newbie.

4 Peruvian. Straight up pro. Pretty meh experience.

Honestly going 2. 5 for 4 in my early days was pretty good. And the Viet college girl was a life experience I'the never trade. She was just so smitten with the whole idea of a sugar date and a nice restaurant and wow I still think about her.

So I would think you could find some gems. But lots and lots of work. Good luck!

[QUOTE=Midwestern;2771375]Totally agree with you. My only small caveat is to be prepared if you do get caught. I have several friends that thought they'd never get caught and when they did get caught, they were totally unprepared for it. For me, I accept it's possible (and maybe even likely) that I'll get caught. But I pretty much know what I will do, and how I will live, in case I am caught.
[/QUOTE]Good point, MW. With regards to why guys lose their jobs, my guess is because the emotionally devastating aspect of divorce takes its toll on them in the work place, and they do not perform as well.

After spending the money necessary to take care of the family, I spent money on my sugar babies, but I was shocked to learn that half the money I spent on them was considered stealing from my family. In Texas, they call it fraud against the community. That my wife was sitting on her ass and not working was not considered fraud. Amazingly, she got a job the day she filed for divorce though. I know guys will not do this, but it would have been better to have divorced before seeing other women. For all the belly aching and bitching about cheating though, there is a formula that most judges at least in Texas follow. The formula is 6% goes to the lawyers, and the man and woman split things 50-50 after the lawyers get their cut. If the man is cheating, the split goes 55 to the woman and 45 to the man.

If you are the bread winner, the lawyers try to hoist both lawyer's fees on you. Nope, she pays her lawyer out of her stash not yours, and this is probably the most important fact here for guys to know. After the ex was getting a $1000 bill every time she cried to her lawyer, she was begging to negotiate.

Like everything legal, it is best if you completely take emotions and "justice" out of the equation and just focus on the financial like lawyers do, but that is easier said than done. The court is literally determining your worth as a father and person.

Just finished my first week in Medellin and I'm comfortable to say Colombia can work for sugar dating. I did some things differently from the previous trip:

- Staying in Laureles, closer to the girls, which does indeed improve their punctuality. Laureles is more walkable and fewer of the (often shitty) American tourists who come here, although the buildings are not as well constructed than Poblado (bring earplugs).

- Focusing on quality over quantity. College girls with gym bodies, as opposed to the inexpensive, marginally employed country girls which make up much of the SA (and FB) scene here.

- Doing video calls to weed out the ones which are unsuitable for a longer-term relationship, flaky, boring, or purely interested in money. (Lots of the latter.).

In the first week this yielded a 20 year old 8. 5, part-time model with a great body, solid communication and ambition / intelligence. Brazilian asses spoil you, as I remember from my time in Argentina looking down at girls' asses and thinking "this doesn't look right". Not a problem in Colombia. Everything looks right from the back (albeit faces could improve). I could easily see this girl 3 x / week and live here in the sunshine, eating cheap but excellent food, going to bed early and not feeling an ounce of stress. *.

I find it amazing how easy it is to be happy here living on so little money. If I ever lost my job and lacked sufficient wealth, Medellin would be the top of my list. Start every day with eating out for breakfast, 90 minutes at the gym for both weights and cardio, relaxing a bit before lunch with a SB, back to my place for two rounds, and ending the day reading or video games after she leaves. I can't think of a way to improve on that right now, but open to suggestions.

I don't think I'll make it to CDMX. I'm having a hard time finding the optics I like there, even girls with acceptable bodies have me going hmm at their faces. Although the escorts from LaBoutique meet that criteria, probably an uphill battle converting those to SBs. The timezone also isn't great for giving me enough time to work out in the morning. I suspect the food will be better, weather sunnier, and perhaps more importantly, the variety of people and overall higher human development of a big city will grow me as a person more than a place like Medellin.

Now the real dilemma. Should I alternate 1 month in Brazil and 1 in Colombia throughout the year, with SBs in both locations, or should I commit to Brazil? Brazilian women have superb optics and better compatibility with my personality. The challenge is not staying more than 6 months there, which I've realized I could do by flying to Asuncion, Paraguay every other week for the work week. While a crap ton of flying (4 x2 h flights / month), this means I can spend every weekend in Brazil for 10 months a year (without overstaying visa or running into tax issues). Plus 1 month of travel for work, and 1 month of travel outside Brazil for vacation and that's a whole year. So there's the dilemma, commit to Brazilian booty (with a taste of Paraguayan) or make some time for Colombians and their sexual intensity?

[QUOTE=Steve9696;2771359]Been trying to decide whether to write this up or not because it probably just sounds like gloating and in some ways it is. But I love YOUR stories and live vicariously through them. I read Medellin and So Paulo and a few other forums just because I love this shit. I love reading a good field report. And who else am I going to spill my guts to besides you guys! So here goes.
...
So it was a packed 3. 5 days but we made it count. Epic car. Parasailing. Helicopter ride. Just a dream really. As I say I wasn't counting pennies this trip but as you see above some of these things are affordable if you save up and only do them once. I would def do both parasailing and heli again in a heartbeat. And oh have epic sex also. 😋. Thanks for tolerating my rambling. Hope some of u enjoyed it![/QUOTE]Thanks for the epic report!

The fact that you own a separate apartment where she stays for free, that's amazing! What will happen in the future when you two break up -- will you have to evict her?

I did a dumb thing with a former SB / GF this year; I signed a lease for an apartment, and we agreed that if we broke up, she would pay. But it's my name on the lease, so post-breakup now I pay and send her a bill, and then she pays me back within a week. She's been good about it so far, but I'm afraid it would get ugly if she stops paying.

On a separate note, I love that your SB was so straightforward about not getting hints and straight up telling you that she's always down for sex if you ask directly. And then I also noticed that she was super in the mood and initiated things after a few expensive and thrilling adventures. I've experienced the same -- after a really emotional experience, the girl is horny and ready.

An option is if she stops paying, terminate the lease and pay the termination fees. Money is temporary and assuming you live in US, basic money is not hard to make.

My rule is try to not get into long term commitments, but if you do, assume the worst case scenario and don't be pissed when it happens.

A boxer doesn't get into a fight assuming he will never get punched, in fact he goes in with a plan of how to handle the punches so he is never surprised. I have been caught without a plan and paid the emotional price and dollars for it.

[QUOTE=Ucgdx;2771722]Thanks for the epic report!

The fact that you own a separate apartment where she stays for free, that's amazing! What will happen in the future when you two break up -- will you have to evict her?

I did a dumb thing with a former SB / GF this year; I signed a lease for an apartment, and we agreed that if we broke up, she would pay. But it's my name on the lease, so post-breakup now I pay and send her a bill, and then she pays me back within a week. She's been good about it so far, but I'm afraid it would get ugly if she stops paying.

On a separate note, I love that your SB was so straightforward about not getting hints and straight up telling you that she's always down for sex if you ask directly. And then I also noticed that she was super in the mood and initiated things after a few expensive and thrilling adventures. I've experienced the same -- after a really emotional experience, the girl is horny and ready.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Luminous;2771823]A boxer doesn't get into a fight assuming he will never get punched, in fact he goes in with a plan of how to handle the punches so he is never surprised.[/QUOTE]But remember what Iron Mike Tyson said. Everybody has a plan. Until they get punched in the mouth! LMAO LOLOLOL!

[QUOTE=TedFerguson;2771633]...Now the real dilemma. Should I alternate 1 month in Brazil and 1 in Colombia throughout the year, with SBs in both locations, or should I commit to Brazil? Brazilian...[/QUOTE]I think you are just scratching the surface in Colombia based on my experience. It seems you have positive experience so why not stay longer and see how much better it gets and make your own decision. I started off from SA before FB when there were a lot of students going on SA experimenting. I still keep in touch with two that were students who was planning to become medical doctor when I met them. They eventually get info medical school but are not studying to become doctor, I guess due to competition is hard. Stay longer, at least for the first time, so you have time to see if you can upgrade, and the girls may consider you more permanent. The main drawback with more educated girls is they have a busy schedule which affect their availability.

[QUOTE=Luminous;2771823]An option is if she stops paying, terminate the lease and pay the termination fees. Money is temporary and assuming you live in US, basic money is not hard to make.[/QUOTE]Yeah, my backup plan is:

1) Ask what happened.

2) If no response, tell her I'm assuming she moved out, so I'm scheduling a locksmith to come change the locks.

3) If no response, come over with the locksmith.

4) Terminate the lease with a fee only after she's moved out. I don't want to get the landlord involved in the mess.

Hope I can stick to it if I get punched in the face, financially. It's not a big deal, under 2 k a month, I just don't want to be taken advantage of.

True. But having a plan is better than no plan.

And the Chinese saying "No war is won by the plan or without a plan".

[QUOTE=TheCane;2771844]But remember what Iron Mike Tyson said. Everybody has a plan. Until they get punched in the mouth! LMAO LOLOLOL![/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Ucgdx;2771722]Thanks for the epic report!

The fact that you own a separate apartment where she stays for free, that's amazing! What will happen in the future when you two break up -- will you have to evict her?

I did a dumb thing with a former SB / GF this year; I signed a lease for an apartment, and we agreed that if we broke up, she would pay. But it's my name on the lease, so post-breakup now I pay and send her a bill, and then she pays me back within a week. She's been good about it so far, but I'm afraid it would get ugly if she stops paying.

On a separate note, I love that your SB was so straightforward about not getting hints and straight up telling you that she's always down for sex if you ask directly. And then I also noticed that she was super in the mood and initiated things after a few expensive and thrilling adventures. I've experienced the same -- after a really emotional experience, the girl is horny and ready.[/QUOTE]Glad to here you have plowed this ground before. Yeah we agreed she's going to be easy if I ask her to leave but who knows. But it's a sweet situation because I own it free and clear. Market price for rent is $2500/ month. So I can look at it one of a few ways. At one end it's paid for so it's completely free to let her stay there. At the other end I am forgoing $2500 a month so that's my cost. I choose to look at it in the middle. The cost of capital of what I actually invested in buying and upgrading. Looking at it this middle ground way she is getting a 2500 value and I am paying 1400 for the privilege of having her my girl. So major win win. If we had a falling out I'the let her stay for $1400 say and she had a good job. But right now we are stronger than ever at a year in!

Haha yeah doubt we were both on cloud nine after helicopter and fucking hit capped the experience. It was def top tier. 😋.