Filipinas - Opinions and Advice

[QUOTE=GoodEnough;1760337]So let's see if I get this: almost 90% of Filipinas are unfaithful which we tacitly --and somewhat sneeringly--judge as morally corrupt, but the guys who come here to shag 4,5 or even 6,women over a two-day period are admirable, macho studs. Have I got this right? Wonder what the word for hypocracy is in Tagalog.

GE.[/QUOTE]Double standard indeed. I like to remain non-judgmental and un-inquisitive when it comes to my Filipina GFs. Why ruin a good thing? Plus if someone slips them a few bucks (for a bang) before I get there that means that they might not be bugging me all the time for the moola. Exclusivity is for the righteous and it must be bloody boring. My married buddies in California are jealous as hell of my single life. As for Filipina intelligence or lack thereof well this is a good thing, too. A woman that is too smart is nothing but trouble because they ask too many questions that they would be better off not knowing the answer to.

Dcups is right. Me too are not worried about if pinays lie to me or not or if they cheat. I do my fair share of cheating to my GF back home so I am the worst they get. Pretending to be single here is the way to go. I could never, and don't want, have an all in pinay GF. Even if my GF back home is 25% pinay she is born and raised in my countries with our fonducts and morals (I am too but I am destroyed). If she is true or not to me I would not know. I for sure would go easy on her if I found out something due to my own behaviour.

[QUOTE=DCups;1760480]A woman that is too smart is nothing but trouble because they ask too many questions that they would be better off not knowing the answer to.[/QUOTE]Haha. 7 years ago a mate married a Russian girl. He knows almost nothing of the female mind-set (or of any culture other than his own WASP upbringing). Given his life circumstances (late-50's, wealthy, committed bachelor, never a solid GF for more than a month, fairly oblivious of the difference between men / women, etc), I should have been surprised at his sudden desire to marry. An instant change. Suddenly he wanted heirs, kids to continue the family name and carry forward his wealth. He had made several short trips to Russia (less than a week) over a year, hiding his trips from everyone, including me. He was using one of those find-a-bride companies on the internet. One day he showed me pics of a young beauty he intended to marry. I was surprised by the suddenness, but quickly realized he was experiencing some type of mid-life crisis. His stated intents: Show his family that he could date young beauty, marry her, and start pumping out several heirs.

So he brought the woman here and married her right away. Mid-30's, beautiful, fairly good English, master's degree, sharp and loved to talk politics, culture, food, etc. Nice girl. However he never attempted to acculturate himself to her culture (daaa, nyet, and spasiba were beyond him), never went back to visit her family, and openly didn't care about her family. She quickly turned into the queen beeyatch. 5 years later they were divorced. No kids. Before the storm, just after the honeymoon, I remember him offering up this advice (at the time I had to pinch myself to keep myself from laughing at him): "Never marry an uneducated woman. Always find a woman you can carry on stimulating conversation Westy. Doesn't matter if she can cook, you can always eat out. But you will be bored with her if you can't carry on good conversation, and that will ruin your marriage". Coming from a man who had been dumped by every female in his adult years, I found any relationship advice given by him should be taken with a grain of salt. His divorce finalized last year (interestingly, the girl got very little money).

Fast-forward to a few nights ago. Having dinner at a restaurant with him, he mused the following advice: "You know Westy, if you ever get married, find an uneducated woman who actually likes to keep a tidy home, cook, and openly likes sex. Shouldn't matter if she speaks English very well, just a bit is OK". Really? "Ya. A smart woman is trouble once she learns the American way of how things are done here". Really! Hahaha. Doesn't his most recent advice sound like many pinay? And, big fella, isn't that the opposite of what you told me 7 years ago? "F*ck you Westy. And give me the number of that girl you use sometimes. The co-ed".

Ha!

[QUOTE=GoodEnough;1760337]So let's see if I get this: almost 90% of Filipinas are unfaithful which we tacitly --and somewhat sneeringly--judge as morally corrupt, but the guys who come here to shag 4,5 or even 6,women over a two-day period are admirable, macho studs. Have I got this right? Wonder what the word for hypocracy is in Tagalog.

GE.[/QUOTE]I never tried to keep track of my steady girlfriends. It is like counting cards at Blackjack. After a while unnecessary stress on the mind. Best thing is go with the flow. Unless one is married or have a live in GF do not worry about who is screwing who. They all lie anyway irrespective of which country. If they are living with you there is a old Arab saying " if you are mongering it is like spitting outside your house, if your significant other is doing it she is spitting inside".

GE: Clean out your PM inbox.

[QUOTE=WestCoast1;1760649]GE: Clean out your PM inbox.[/QUOTE]Sorry about that. It's done.

[QUOTE=WestCoast1;1760524]Haha. 7 years ago a mate married a Russian girl. He knows almost nothing of the female mind-set (or of any culture other than his own WASP upbringing). Given his life circumstances (late-50's, wealthy, committed bachelor, never a solid GF for more than a month, fairly oblivious of the difference between men / women, etc), I should have been surprised at his sudden desire to marry. An instant change. Suddenly he wanted heirs, kids to continue the family name and carry forward his wealth. He had made several short trips to Russia (less than a week) over a year, hiding his trips from everyone, including me. He was using one of those find-a-bride companies on the internet. One day he showed me pics of a young beauty he intended to marry. I was surprised by the suddenness, but quickly realized he was experiencing some type of mid-life crisis. His stated intents: Show his family that he could date young beauty, marry her, and start pumping out several heirs.

So he brought the woman here and married her right away. Mid-30's, beautiful, fairly good English, master's degree, sharp and loved to talk politics, culture, food, etc. Nice girl. However he never attempted to acculturate himself to her culture (daaa, nyet, and spasiba were beyond him), never went back to visit her family, and openly didn't care about her family. She quickly turned into the queen beeyatch. 5 years later they were divorced. No kids. Before the storm, just after the honeymoon, I remember him offering up this advice (at the time I had to pinch myself to keep myself from laughing at him): "Never marry an uneducated woman. Always find a woman you can carry on stimulating conversation Westy. Doesn't matter if she can cook, you can always eat out. But you will be bored with her if you can't carry on good conversation, and that will ruin your marriage". Coming from a man who had been dumped by every female in his adult years, I found any relationship advice given by him should be taken with a grain of salt. His divorce finalized last year (interestingly, the girl got very little money).

Fast-forward to a few nights ago. Having dinner at a restaurant with him, he mused the following advice: "You know Westy, if you ever get married, find an uneducated woman who actually likes to keep a tidy home, cook, and openly likes sex. Shouldn't matter if she speaks English very well, just a bit is OK". Really? "Ya. A smart woman is trouble once she learns the American way of how things are done here". Really! Hahaha. Doesn't his most recent advice sound like many pinay? And, big fella, isn't that the opposite of what you told me 7 years ago? "F*ck you Westy. And give me the number of that girl you use sometimes. The co-ed".

Ha![/QUOTE]Your Mate sounds like many of us. Thanks for sharing this story. What are we to do? Commitment, trust are things you want. Heirs who can [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord140][CodeWord140][/url] away your hard work. This is as old as man. I hope he finds the right thing.

[QUOTE=Mbsl65;1760109]There is a logical explanation for Cebu. Cebu is the considered Silicon Valley of Philippines due to good IT Schools and jobs. There are tremendous amount of women who understand computers and how to use them. So, they also socialize online and they use the services more than the others. So, you have an higher chance of seeing a Cebuana online than others.[/QUOTE]Thanks for the info. I am thinking about a quick trip to Phil from California. I may have to stick to Manila or Thailand this time, not enough time to develop a long list. I had started pairing the target list down, but the plans changed so I am having a shorter trip. In spent two days in Cebu a few years ago, had a couple of pros from Mango. I regret not hooking up with some on my FC list, but I had worn myself out in Manila and Davao, so needed some rest. I will try to find time for a 3 or four week trip early next winter.

H: "You are beeing so strict".

M: "good, so you learn, there is no difference in time anywhere in the world and 3 pm is 3 pm and I told you many times (be on time be on time)".

H: "huh".

M: "huh does not mean anything. Its just some stupid way of replying you don't understand shit".

This stupid bird tried play me as in I adviced her many times 1 pm, 1:30 pm and 2 pm she must get ready. After 2 pm she suddenly stop replying and have the nerve to text me back at 4 pm "sorry I just had to get my niece girl from school, that's why I am late". I told her by then the session cancelled ofcourse. She must have been thinking I was a shmuck and I guess the reason she can put up with this is bcs actually some guys are fine with this as long as a girl come. Putting up with such an act will not improve their managing of time. On my question to her on why she did not tell me upfront she could not be here by our 3 pm appointment she simply answered: "I think its not so important and we had agreement this afternoon". Me telling her if she just informed me upfront everything would be ok bcs also I know things can happen but playing the silent game against me was a bad decission. She understood then that we neverd meet.

I clock in girl number 3(in which i can remember)beeing late out of many hundreds on time girls. This one trying to play my good act, god knows what she was doing. So still the stats are realy realy good but you need to play as a hard rock gents. Don't let them girls be in control no matter what. Only 20 min away there will be new girls wanting to come (as I've had to use an emergency girl today). No worries. But I get pissed off beeing treated like a moron (mongerer is ok but no moron). I stood my ground, next please. Dont take it as i have problem with latecommers but i guess me not having this problem makes me adress this happening stronger. I guess no system is perfect.

Finally someone who stands up to women instead of being a cream puff. A sure sign that one is "used to" women and not going to let one chick make or break him.

Pinay like to use that word strict. Damn right I am strict when it comes to my time. I can get more money, but once time is wasted I can't get that back.

The concept of time having no value is not restricted to random hook-ups; it's a ubiquitous characteristic here. Today I had what I thought was a doctor's appointment at 3 PM. When I arrived, about five minutes early, the corridor outside his office probably had twenty patients waiting to see him. In the outer office there were another ten or so patiently waiting. His secretary told me she would call me when he could fit me in. I asked if she was kidding and left. Two weeks ago, I walked out of a restaurant after waiting to meet a luncheon appointment who exceeded my fifteen minute wait time limit.

I don't think any of us will ever change this aspect of the culture and I imagine that the locals cannot I pretend our obsession with timeliness so ne'er the twain will meet I guess. I do know that I will never accept the lack of respect for other people's time. I no longer get upset. I just leave.

GE.

[QUOTE=GoodEnough;1761356]I no longer get upset. I just leave.[/QUOTE]Exactly. I am a 20 minute guy and not a 15 minute guy (you so striiiiict! But that's what I do too.

[QUOTE=MrEnternational;1761323]Finally someone who stands up to women instead of being a cream puff. A sure sign that one is "used to" women and not going to let one chick make or break him.

Pinay like to use that word strict. Damn right I am strict when it comes to my time. I can get more money, but once time is wasted I can't get that back.[/QUOTE]Not that in loosing an appointment in my biz scheduel would be the end of the world. Like GE not able to get his doc appointment would set me off harsly. I hate beeing late myself and I would for sure inform my meet up if ID be so early early. I don't have a certain time limit as it depends how and whey a girl inform me. I have mostly a 2 or 3 hours window between sessions (overnighters beeing excluded but pressed on time as well). One session, in itself, takes maybe 20-45 minutes so leaves me enough recoupe time normaly as long as girls are on time.

When they do the phil time trick as in time is not of any value I don't care one bit. Yes, I am here in the phils but my biz is my biz. If they want to be late hook up with softeners. I can not stand it.

I have it feom good reports as in a text the cheeky lady still went on her way to see me. I just did not reply. I got this stupid msg that she had to pay her taxidriver. Wow what a bummer.

[QUOTE=GoodEnough;1761356]The concept of time having no value is not restricted to random hook-ups; it's a ubiquitous characteristic here. SNIP

I don't think any of us will ever change this aspect of the culture and I imagine that the locals cannot I pretend our obsession with timeliness so ne'er the twain will meet I guess. I do know that I will never accept the lack of respect for other people's time. I no longer get upset. I just leave.[/QUOTE]A few thoughts about the time issue:

1. Phils is not the only "time-insensitive" country. Many latin places suffer the same issue. I used the word "suffer" on purpose: both cultures (the 'time-sensitive' and the 'time-insensitive', which I liken to the quick and the dead) look upon the other as being somewhat bizarre. Appointments set for business purposes stand a high chance of not being kept, and appointments set for non-biz purposes stand an extremely high chance of not being kept. If pinoy make you think: "What the F*CK is wrong with these people"! Then also consider pinoy are having the same thought about you: "Why are you westerners so anal about this thing that nobody here cares about"? No amount of teeth-grinding on any person's part will change the behavior of the other (more later).

2. I have had some success in the last few years with timeliness of the new girls (only the girls, not with businesses, and these apply normally to new girls only, as repeats have already been trained) by adopting a few procedures. Mostly, in advance, I remind the girls that I am STRICT when it comes to tardiness. Please drive that fact home *before* you agree to meet her.

3) Stop being upset. My being upset at a late pilipina is akin to being upset with my cat when she doesn't come to me when I call her name. Unlike the dog, the chance of the cat running over to me when called is: Near ZERO.

Common mistake: In chat, telling her to leave her house at 11am to meet you at 1pm. Yes, its a jeep ride of 1.5 - 2 hours, so the timeframe makes sense to you. But its still a mistake to tell her that. DO tell her to leave her home at 9am. DO tell her that its better for her to be very early than late. The girl is not responsible for very bad traffic (or rain), which happens a lot in Manila/Cebu, and your holding her to that responsibility is not reasonable.

As WC has pointed out, indifference to the value of time is a characteristic shared by many cultures, Indonesian and Thai to an, e but two. I'm guessing that the obsession with timeliness is limited to those fiercely competitive economies in which time really is money, but this may be too simplistic an explanation. I remember years ago, during my first weeks of living in Paris, when a French colleague patiently explained to me, over a leisurely lunch, that in the USA People lived to work, while in Frajce, people worked to live. This, at least where I worked, few people cake in early or stayed late, virtually no one worked on weekends, and everyone took his or her full six week vacation entitlement. I have to admit that the French seemed less stressed out than the average American.

Could be that those of us who are obsessed with time are the true anomalies worldwide.

GE.