Filipinas - Opinions and Advice

Clandestine:

Like Firedick, I've hesitated to comment on what has been an interesting dialogue, only because the advice offered has been so consistent, and it's similar to anything I would advise. As a rule, I would suggest strongly that any woman of 26 who is still tied so closely to her family is bound to cause you severe problems later on. She's probably been conditioned to act as their meal ticket, and nothing you can say or do can change that.

I do no know why you are so eager to rush into a marriage with someone you barely know, but I think the same rules should apply here as would apply in the US, Europe, or wherever you come from. Tread slowly. Choose carefully. Make no rash decisions and, to extend the navagational metaphor, remember that the sea is dottted with islands that you can find easily before choosing one on which to live.

GE

I'll keep it simple,

Over the past year I have come across more Filipinas than I can handle, manly on Yahoo Chat.There just about everywhere and I can't shake em!!!. Am I the only one?

This of course is not a bash against them, but my goodness! How much is too much? I'm not really interested in meeting any at this time because my focus is more on Thai Women

P.S. Clandestine, Come on man, snap the fuck out of it!!! this is a [b][size=+2]SEX[/b][/size] forum. Go and get your dick wet!

[b]MeatMan[/b]

quote from clandestine

(people in this poor, backward country don't understand that time is money. chinese people do understand that, and that's why they control most of the wealth in this country and the local people stay poor-- but do manage to make it to church.)

you also forgot to add that people who think that time is money are the most misserable people living on this planet. look at the americans and the japanese and the rest of the rich "sorry ass" countries in the world and how much they devour anti-depressants on a daily basis. they rush through their busy lives trying to scrape every cent they could so they can die alone on a pile of cash while their children overdose at some party with the parent's money. if that's living then we must be in the basement of hell.

nothing personal, i know your view is shared by many comming from the other side of the world. that's why i just couldn't wait to get out of the hell hole and "live" in some poor and backward countries.

As a 35 year old man married to a good Filipina I urge you to look elsewhere. This is bad news. Stay AWAY FROM THIS FAMILY. Good luck and take your time. Find a girl that's lived away from her family, gone to college, taken care of herself etc..

Matman,

Of course there are lots of Filipinas advertising on the web. The leading export from the Philippines is Filipinos. When its all you got, you export it to the highest bidder. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Meatman,

I have met more filipinas in yahoo chat than I could ever fuck. They love the chat rooms. Many are of the "cyber prostitute" variety, offering to expose their tits for you for $ 20 US/P1000 ($17.80US). I met a girl in Davao recently who almost immediately offered to remove her blouse and bra if I sent her $20. I told her she would hve to do more than show her tits toget me sending her $20. Imet another in Manila who asked me last week for money to buy a Christmas dress. I have only chatted with her about 3 times and did not even talk to her on the phone, but she felt I was "good for" the $$.

I like Thailand also and it was my sole travel destination for my first two years going to Asia. I was back 6 times in 2003 but skipped it in 2004. I find even the rgular, educated Thai women to be extremely avaricious. Take away the cyber Pros and the filipina is a sweet, loving lady.

Merry CHristmas and a Happy New Year to ALL.

Dragon Slayer

I do not mean to burst your bubble, but most Filipinos are as materialistic, greedy, and acquisitive as most Americans. The only difference is that their hierarchies of need are different than ours because they do not have as much money as we do. I could say much the same for every developing country in which I have lived, and I have lived in several.

It's easy to idealize poverty, but I find that it's largely incorrect. People appear to be motivated by the same wants and desires the world over, with horizons limited only by access to money and information. Thus, many, if not most Americans spend their lives in a frantic chase to accumulate ever more stuff, while here in the Philippines, people spend most of their lives trying to accumulate enough to live day by day. Middle class Filipinos however, are every bit as status conscious, label-driven and avaricious as the typical middle class American.

GE

[quote=columpuss]quote from clandestine

(people in this poor, backward country don't understand that time is money. chinese people do understand that, and that's why they control most of the wealth in this country and the local people stay poor-- but do manage to make it to church.)

you also forgot to add that people who think that time is money are the most misserable people living on this planet. look at the americans and the japanese and the rest of the rich "sorry ass" countries in the world and how much they devour anti-depressants on a daily basis. they rush through their busy lives trying to scrape every cent they could so they can die alone on a pile of cash while their children overdose at some party with the parent's money. if that's living then we must be in the basement of hell.

nothing personal, i know your view is shared by many comming from the other side of the world. that's why i just couldn't wait to get out of the hell hole and "live" in some poor and backward countries.[/quote]

you must think i can't see through your jive ass like glass. i am writing this post from hong kong, and i don't see any hong kong chinese rushing to emigrate from here to the philippines. (and i stand by my assertion that the chinese run the show in the philippines-- just as they do in many other places where there is unfettered money to be made.) nor do i see any japanese doing the same. just because you get to be the big man on mulberry street in these third world countries because of your white skin, don't think we don't know from whence you came-- and why you get to be what you are in the philippines.

don't think that bored young white people swallowing anti-depressants constitutes a nightmare situation. they do the same thing in sweden. in the philippines, i saw one agency after another charging people good money to set up an immigration package to canada. last time i was in canada, i didn't see any agencies for canadians who were trying to get right out of canada. nor does it explain why the us accepts more immigrants than every other country in the world combined-- a significant number of which are from the philippines.

Clandestine:

I am glad you are finally out of the Philippines. I could see trouble brewing on the horizon if you went through with your plans to marry either of those girls mentioned in your postings. Honestly, those girls are not meant to be married, just fucked and dropped. They got too many issues and are going to drag you down in their deep bottomless pit of woe and personal problems. You got too much going on in their your life to settle for scraps and left overs.

Nonetheless, I believe a good woman can be found in the Philippines, but only after careful selection and time spent with the girl. A referral from a "trusted" filipino friend would have led to some better choices.

As for Taiwan, we have discussed this place many times, especially about the scareness of pussy on account of race. If Taiwan does not work out (like last time), I would head back to the US on the first plan out of the country and carry on with doing your PhD.

Next time, please be open to people's advice, we all know and understand. :-)

I was on Yahoo at 3 am Manils time looking chatting with a web cam beauty. The Manila internet cafe was jammed full. Meatman says Yahoo is full of Pinays which is true. But have they another agenda which gets them to pack internet cafes at 3 am Christmas morning?

They sure weren't praying to Santa Nino:)

I concur with all of the advice offered to Clandestine concerning marrying a Filipina and bringing her back to the US.

However an extremely important issue that was not mentioned is the additional liability that an American faces when they sponsor an imigratnt's entry into the US.

I am not a lawyer and I have never personally sponsored an immigrant, however I understand from others who have that you are responsible for their support for many years, even if she divorces you of her own accord. This liability is a Federal statute and is outside of the protection that a prenup might provide.

To state the obvious, a few hundred dollars to get some advice from an immigration lawyer could save you many thousands of dollars in the future. Can you say Caveat Emptor?

GE

Not bursting my bubble at all! Of course there are money and status thirsty people everywhere, but at least in the PIs, just like the people many Central American countries, their citizens are more communal than others, living to be a part of the community rather than to rise above others. I also observe the same in many island countries, which makes these people are so wonderful and sweet.

Clandestine

Been in Hong Kong once, could not, could not, could not stand its people, or maybe I just don't like people living in huge metropolitans.

I'm very laid back and easy going. I prefer to be surrounded by the same type of people. That's why I come at least once a year to the PIs and Costa Rica and not South Korea or Hong Kong. I can see myself marrying a Filipina but not a Chinese. You are maybe the opposite judging from how you admire the Chinese and their money. This is the answer to your post: stay in Hong Kong where you belong and find a local Chinese, the PIs and it's people are not meant for you.

I think the communality of which you speak is driven more by rural poverty than any cultural ideal. I find that as people here move to the larger cities, and away from a life that requires more collective cooperation, the drive to share whatever they have diminishes. I agree with you about the genuine sweetness of the people, but again, I think it's important not to idealize, and not to generalize too much.

If Filipinos seem less driven by acquisitiveness and self-aggrandizement, it may be because so much of their national history, and the cultural antecedents of such history have been obliterated by 400 years of Spanish, English, Japanese and American colonialization. Remember that the 7,000 + islands now known as the Philippines were never a distinct country prior to 1547 or so when the Spanish arrived. Remember too, that regional differences are strong and persistent, and what's true about the "character" of Filipinos from one area may not be true about those from another. The lack of a national "ethos" makes Filipinos distinctly different from Chinese, Thais, and even Vietnamese and Loatians, all of whom came from reasonably intact countries prior to colonizalization.

All of this is by way of pointing out that the Philippines is a difficult place about which to generalize, much less to understand from the point of view of a foreigner. This is a place of mystery, and resists easy generalizations. I can say that the longer I live here, the less I understand, and the more I appreciate the diversity of the place.

GE

Over the past several months, and perhaps for a longer period, several people have commented on the inextricable ties between Filipinas and their families. Some have said—and not without reason—that Filipinas, even those who profess to love you, will always choose their families over you if put into a position in which they have to make a choice.

The author James Hamilton-Peterson, in his book about the Marcoses called America’s Boy offers some insights into why such intense loyalty is a closely-held cultural value in the Philippines. In explaining a key social concept called utang na loob, which he translates as “inner debt,” the author says that: [color=red]“This implied distinction between ‘inner’ and ‘outer’ person is extremely important to Filipinos…This may be the reason for…the ability to sell one’s self without any sense of personal loss. The loob remains unsullied…Thus a cycle of mutual indebtedness builds up throughout the vast family network…unignorable…The only way out would be to…walk away. That leads to the gravest charge one Filipino can level at another, that of being walang hiya, or without shame.”[/color]

Putting this concept within the context of the Westerner – Filipina social dynamic then, the Filipina would naturally choose her family for that is where her obligations lie. To reject her family by siding with a Westerner, she would shame herself and thus risk ostracism which might last long after the departure of the foreigner.

I claim to be neither a student of Tagalog nor an expert in Philippines culture. However, the concept as presented by the author makes sense to me, and helps lead to an understanding of the phenomenon. It may also explain why Filipinas who are in the sex trade, yet appear unsullied and “sweet” can make a distinction between what they’re doing to earn money, and who they are.
Hope that some of you find this useful.

:D

GE

It's just a 'Guy Thing' to want to fall in love with and want to take care of a woman who's young and beautiful and who seems to need taking care of ; especially if she's hot in bed and seems to actually Like the normally repulsive you

But please remember PsyberZombie's Law =

[b][i]" Never rescue a Fair Maiden who owns a Dragon Farm "[/b][/i]

I offer the same advice to any guy who wants to become some hooker's Sugar Daddy [ or even worse , her Husband ] =

The only thing you'll be accomplishing by supporting this chick is to allow her to be more selective in who she'll screw for fun or money behind your back

And if you do bring her back and move her in = make sure you lock up all your personal papers first . Because when she decides to hit the road [ notice I say [i]when[/i] ; not [i]if[/i] ] , she'll probably take a few days first to clean out your bank accounts , sell your car , and take out a second mortgage on your home

So now you can't say you weren't Warned !!