Monterrey, Mexico 11/28-12/11
I needed a new adventure. Going to the same places, like Tijuana, Havana, Bangkok over and over again got stale. With the help of ISG, I zeroed in to a new locale: Monterrey (Mexico's 3 d biggest city).
Airfare, airport transit, and Airbnb: I bought a one-way ticket on Aeromexico (layover in ATL) for $150. That included a refund of the tourist tax due to being a dual citizen with Mexico (another good reason to apply for those that qualify!) I didn't need a local SIM because AT&T's plan includes calls / data while in Mexico & Canada at no additional cost. I landed and was quickly out the door into the city. I saw a video about taking the bus into the city center from the airport and decided to try my luck. I line up with everyone else for the purple bus across the street from the airport. This would have worked ok but 1. I landed at 5 pm and the buses were packed due to rush hour; and 2. Monterrey is heavily under road and transit construction in preparation for the upcoming World Cup. After 90 minutes of little movement, I got off the bus and took a Didi (rideshare) to my apartment. The apartment was walking distance to Porky's, Central Bus Terminal, and Cuauhtemoc rail stop. My airbnb was $30/ night, seemed clean and very secure with no security guard at the doorway.
Cleops. Wow, such a great place! A massage shop with 20+ girls working. Girls set their own prices. The girls line up together and give a thorough explanation of services while mounting you so you can feel the goods front and back before choosing. I generally paid 1000 p-1200 p for 40 minutes. Every service included GFE, BBBJ and CFS. No tips were ever requested by any of the girls; they just ask that you ring the bell in the lobby if you received good service. There is a whatsapp group to see their lineup, and a QR code in the lobby adds you to their contact list where you receive a few messages with lineup, specials, etc. Also, after service, you are offered the opportunity to purchase credit toward future service at a 10% discount. Tip: No change will be given if you do not use the whole total, so I suggest buying 1000 p for 900 p. Then you just pay the difference during the next session. Keep the receipt copies! The white gets turned in for the next session. The yellow copies accumulate: When you have 10.000 p worth of receipts, you get a free session. Their Frequent Fucker Program! Also, I chose a different girl every visit and none of the girls ever acted jealous in front of me for not repeating. I LOVE THIS PLACE!
Porkys & Mautehaula (main location). These two clubs are right across the street from each other. Beers were 40 p. Girls usually wait for you to signal them over. Lady drinks were 150 p or so. Porkys has a telegram group that is very active and sends multiple messages a day. In Mautehaula, all prices are listed on the wall in the club. There is something for everyone in these clubs. I did not see another foreigner the whole time I was in either club. In Mautehaula, I did a 20 min session for 1200 p with a MILF I adored, however, choosing a basement stall vs a room was less than ideal; I couldn't see the girl but felt everything. The stall is charged by the song and felt rushed because the attendant kept calling out when a new song started and the girl always screamed back to acknowledge. It was so dark also that I could hardly see the girl but everything felt great, really GFE. As for Porky's, one downside is that the staff start extra hustles late night, charging 50 p for beer, and when you asked anyone else what the price was, the common response was that the employees didn't know and to ask your waiter. They also charged me 10% extra for using my credit card when Mexican law does not allow this. I called my credit card the next day and the charge was reversed which was very nice. Mautehaula's second location on Cuauhtemoc (as all of the bars in that area) looked rougher and I didn't see anything worth selecting but had fun in each for a one beer and exit barhop.
Cielo. Another awesome bar where I had a great experience. All drink prices and lady drink prices listed on the wall. No hustle, you signal the girl you want over to you. Here, I had a girl scream my name when she recognized me from Hong Kong in Tijuana. We spent a few hours together, and after the bar closed, she took me to an underground bar / party where you had to knock to enter and be let in by security. At 9 am, I called it a day and headed home but the party was still going strong!
Massage houses or Casas. There were so many in centro that it is impossible to mention them all. They charged 500 p-600 p for 20 minutes. When I sessioned at these, the girls did try to upsell for GFE, taking off clothes, etc. , but after a couple minutes of charm and chat, all the girls ended up doing right for me for small tip (usually 50 p-100 p) I got GFE, BBBJ and all clothes off and wasn't chased out when time was up. The general way to tell what was a casa was a colored light string above the door and sometimes a security guard outside of the door inviting you in. The available girls were sitting on the sofas in the foyer with a mamasan welcoming you as well.
Pasarela. One of the best looking clubs in town. Under new management. Clean and an active Instagram page. Here, you should pay for drinks on a rolling basis. One waiter was caught multiple times in one night padding bills. After pointing it out that he did the same to me, he gave me back 200 p quickly and asked me not to complain. It sucks because I really did have fun but just don't like the thought of having my bill padded.
Obsession was, far and away, my favorite club. Enter before 6 pm and get a 4 course "executive platter. " The club looked great. The staff was very professional. Signs everywhere saying that any tip is voluntary and that, should you be asked for a tip to report it via staff or a phone number listed. Beers 50 p. Lady drinks were 300 p for a pitcher of drink choice of the girl. Later at night, the second floor is available for karaoke. On my birthday, the cover charge 100 p was waived and the girls sang Las Mananitas (Happy Birthday) to me. I got plenty of phone numbers here for takeout but ran out of time before actually doing it.
Getting around town. Uber and Didi function well here. Didi was usually cheaper. However, the metro system works great here and was very easy to use. 10 p for a metro ride, 15 p for a bus ride. 20 p fare card that can be reloaded at any stop. I used the app MOOVIT to track how to get around. I literally moved around the entire city with public transport, to include getting from my apartment to the airport for 25 p on my final day. Google maps got me around for walking the city.
Touristy things. I visited the great Parque Fundadora, Mexico baseball hall of fame, 8 different museums, did a boat tour along the trail, watched an IMAX movie, and saw semi-final playoff games for Rayados and Tigeres. I visited multiple churches to include the Cathedral and also the Basilica de la Virgen de Guadalupe in the mountainside. I ate at many food stalls throughout the city and bought many juice drinks as well. For Christmas, I saw Luztopia and MacroNavidad festivals. I took over 1000 pictures and movies of my comings and goings. I always felt safe, even when walking around alone at night. Again, I'm a big mexican guy that speaks fluent spanish.
Next trip. I ran out of time to do the following:
1. Safari. During the week you use your own car. On weekends, you can ride on the safari bus.
2. Going to regular clubs, rooftop bars, and hanging out with locals. I had a great time, but I definitely feel that I could accomplish more with a wingman or a local.
3. Baseball game. Baseball was out of season, so my next trip will be during the baseball season.
4.
Exit. Using public transportation, the 1 hour ride to the airport was only 25 p. $175 flight nonstop on United got me home. The united agent filled out my exit form for me and told me to keep it in my Mexico passport. A short flight home later, I passed through quickly with Global Entry and was soon home.
Would I return? Yes, absolutely. It's a great alternative to Tijuana.
Would I recommend Monterrey to others? For people with excellent command of Spanish, yes. For people who struggle speaking Spanish, definitely no.
