Filipinas - Opinions and Advice

[QUOTE=Montanaland;2116795]
We were together for 2 days. But she insists on waiting for me and she communicates with me multiple times a day. She is 28 and still lives with mom / dad, 3 siblings. Is she trying to set the hook in getting to the USA or is she really in love? What do I do?[/QUOTE]I agree with Soapy Smith. I'll say it more bluntly.

"I love you" and "I miss you" are two terms that filipinas liberally use. I am guessing you see and hear these everyday many times.

And of course I wish to tell you the good news is she's be saving herself just for you which is why she got into bed with you so fast on the first day. Your amazing physique and magnetic personality knocked her out.

I'm not a cynic. I'll just tell you you are a love struck fool about to lose your money if you believe what you are thinking.

AC & Philippines is a fantastic place to visit for us middle aged men.

To search a good wife / partner you need to use different search tools that the 'sex tourist" tools you are currently using. They are there but not this way.

BD.

[QUOTE=Montanaland;2116795]I was lucky enough to visit the Philippines last September and I met a lovely local girl off of tinder (see Angeles report) She along with the other freebie I met through tinder were really clingy. This sweetheart of a girl even sent me a handmade box for my birthday. We skype almost everyday and I guess we are in a relationship. She is middle-class since her and her family own a parts store in the city, but throughout our months of communication she keeps placing herself here (USA) and in our house. Etc. Etc. She even posts love poems / sayings constantly on her facebook.

We were together for 2 days. But she insists on waiting for me and she communicates with me multiple times a day. She is 28 and still lives with mom / dad, 3 siblings. Is she trying to set the hook in getting to the USA or is she really in love? What do I do?[/QUOTE]After reading the report posted with questions from Montanaland, I knew he was in big trouble. To answer his question we must look at the last situation that resulted in his decision to go mongering in Angeles City.

Several years ago, he moved in with an American woman who admitted to having sex with well in excess of 30 men during years of riding the cock-carousel, around and around she goes. As a rule American women divide the number of men they fucked by three. Meaning that the live-in girlfriend actually fucked well over 90 men at least. Therefore, she was all sexed-out by the time she got to Montanaland. The proof was in the pudding when Ms. Cock Carousel suddenly started rationing sex with him to 2 or 3 times a month, and he got plenty of liberal feminist lectures to go with it. Fortunately, he realized that he had to escape from this Matchcom cock-wrangler. He read ISG and made his virgin trip to AC, so far so good.

His reports show that the research and reading on ISG paid off in spades. He effortless fucked his way through Manila, Subic, and Angeles City. Montanaland did not have any trouble until returning home and one of his Tinder fuck meats started acting all needy sending him love messages several times a day and planning her life with him in the USA. She even sent him a gift. The poor fella is now confused and does not know what to do. Those of us who venture into the Pinay dating scene know how hot and heavy the girls come on promising to be faithful loyal and true until we return like General MacArthur. It all sounds great, especially to anyone recovering from a rough patch in the romance market at home. A nice fella may think that he won the jackpot on his first foray to the Philippines. However, the odds of that happening is infinitesimal. More often than not, foreign fellas discover that Pinays are much more practical and resourceful in their sexual relationships than their initial demeanor may suggest. So, let us help a fellow foreigner out.

Montanaland, she is in love with the United States of America. You are her "tulay" (bridge) to get there. Be realistic about what happened. You swiped right on Tinder and she met you for some hot fucking, most likely the bareback kind. LOL! You fucked her for two days and with each orgasm, she declared her undying love for you. Looking at it objectively, you must admit that lust is the most appropriate word to describe the encounter rather than love. In the Philippines, a 28-year-old is the equivalent of a granny in the USA. She is uninhibited and uses social media to date in sex tourism town. You are not her first foreigner she and already knows what American men come looking for and what makes them tick. AC girls know exactly how to play the Kano. For a Filipina, love means you giving her everything she wants out of life. Love means that she is holding you responsible for making her happy and providing for her including her entire family. When you are no longer able or willing to do that, the love ends.

Montanaland, you should be alarmed because she is "love bombing" you. Love Bombing is a seductive tactic that is used when someone who is manipulative tries to control the relationship with bombs brimming with "love" right from day one. It often takes place within whirlwind romances and is usually directed by sociopaths or narcissists.

Your description of her behavior has all the indications of love bombing: She insists that she is waiting for you; communicates with you several times each day; sends you gifts; constantly posts love poems / quotes; and she is obsessed with the idea of being in your house. Unfortunately, it is such a dizzying experience it can take a little while to grasp the reality of what is actually taking place.

This concept is known as love bombing due to the bombardment of actions that may appear very similar to "love" but that are extremely overwhelming and deliberately perpetrated. So much so that the bombing can effectively sweep people off their feet and cause high levels of infatuation, as the target is unaware that it is a manipulative means to gain attention.

The approach does not give the person being bombed time to think straight or to assess whether the bomber is genuine or not as the relationship moves through the stages at full speed.

Love bombing is initially carried out through excessive phone calls, text messages, emails, the constant desire to be in close contact whether virtual or physical and the desire to be connected almost every moment of every day.

It is a predatory and over the top move to lure and attract someone so that they feel irreplaceable and fall unquestioningly into their lair without the need for the love bomber to make any real emotional commitment. Love bombing is a one-way game, with the simple goal of destabilizing and derailing the person being targeted so that they become very easy to manipulate.

You should start dialing back the communication and see how she reacts. All that communication must not leave much time for work, exercise, and chores around the house.

[QUOTE=BrainDrain;2116973]......

To search a good wife / partner you need to use different search tools that the 'sex tourist" tools you are currently using. They are there but not this way.

BD.[/QUOTE]What search tools would you recommend?

I have been using the dating sites and had good luck in hookups but none so far that I see as real long-term prospects. There were a few good possibilities but fatal flaws soon showed up.

So far I have resisted blind dates suggested by my Philippine friends and acquaintances, all pictures that I have been shown are not at all appealing to me, usually too olf, too many kids, too fat etc.

[QUOTE=KabulGuy;2117067]What search tools would you recommend?

I have been using the dating sites and had good luck in hookups but none so far that I see as real long-term prospects. There were a few good possibilities but fatal flaws soon showed up.

So far I have resisted blind dates suggested by my Philippine friends and acquaintances, all pictures that I have been shown are not at all appealing to me, usually too olf, too many kids, too fat etc.[/QUOTE]Our sex search tools are transaction based. We want a date for which we will pay cash. The girls on these sites, even the innocent hopeful ones are getting a daily barrage of dick pics, abuse messages and down right rudeness from the armchair wankers. The girls start to get a tainted impression of "all" foreigners.

For something deeper you have to consider the social structure of Philippines. Identification and reference relies far more on family connection and local reference. In the west, we can be identified through our own ID, our own jobs, our own structure, we can stand as one.

In Philippines, much more relies on referral and referencing through related third parties. We see this all the time in this forum. A girl introduces a cousin, the cousin introduces a friend etc. A solo without references doesn't make sense.

The same with finding a life partner. Friends of friends are going to be the way. Choose a location where you will visit / live without mongering. Be a clean living long term marriage material guy. Take the blind dates and take the introductions.

Just my experience.

Apologies to the poster that finds my posts "inanne" (sic).

[QUOTE=KabulGuy;2117067]What search tools would you recommend?

I have been using the dating sites and had good luck in hookups but none so far that I see as real long-term prospects. There were a few good possibilities but fatal flaws soon showed up.

So far I have resisted blind dates suggested by my Philippine friends and acquaintances, all pictures that I have been shown are not at all appealing to me, usually too olf, too many kids, too fat etc.[/QUOTE]The problem with trying to find women without transactional intent is that they have better options within their peer groups. They have no need to marry a middle-aged or elderly foreign man from a different culture as a sacrifice for the economic security of the family. High class Filipinas do not normally marry Filipinos outside of their socioeconomic class. Most will not marry an older foreigner out of concern that they will be mistaken for one of the "desperate poor girls" that do.

Thanks to sensational reports in the national media about naughty foreigners going to jail for one thing or another, well-off Filipino families have unflattering opinions of Western men. From time to time, we hear those opinions in the rants of their president and senators. LOL! However, there is really no need for a wife in the Philippines as marriage only subjects the foreign man to more legal jeopardy without bringing any meaningful benefit. Too many Filipina-Foreigner marriages end in fatalities. What the Philippines offers is uncomplicated fun. It excels at providing this. Why make things complicated with people who take pride in being simple.

[QUOTE=BrainDrain;2117131].....

The same with finding a life partner. Friends of friends are going to be the way. Choose a location where you will visit / live without mongering. Be a clean living long term marriage material guy. Take the blind dates and take the introductions.
.....[/QUOTE]I have avoided that route so far because I don't want a failed date relationship to sour my friendships with the Philipino's here. We worked together in Afghanistan for years and that shared history means a lot to me. So far most referrals have been older women, closer to my age 62 instead of my preferred 30 +_ age range.

Montana: you do realize that if you want to make a go of it with her and tie the knot that you are actually marrying the entire EXTENDED family, don't you? That means you will cut your income into at least a third and more likely a lot more depending on moocher mom and dad, and the three siblings, all the first, second, third and fourth cousins, aunts, uncles, unknown illegitimate kids, Filipino boyfriends, Filipina girlfriends, etc. She has and most are all prompting her and advising her on how to win your heart and wallet and life savings? Wake up from this romantic myth dream! Don't be a fool, man!

On another note it is not unusual for a 28 year old to be living at home in the Philippines (and many other parts of the world including the USA, sadly). If you are hell bent on doing this go live in the Philippines with her, not here, and try it out. Any guy that brings a woman from their home country to the USA is completely stupid because the woman will quickly be tainted by American broads who think their pussy is made of the rarest, purest platinum-gold alloy while they literally rob you of your income, savings and indeed entire masculinity (and your mind) while bombarding you with endless, emotional drivel. Buyer beware.

[QUOTE=Montanaland;2116795]I was lucky enough to visit the Philippines last September and I met a lovely local girl off of tinder (see Angeles report) She along with the other freebie I met through tinder were really clingy. This sweetheart of a girl even sent me a handmade box for my birthday. We skype almost everyday and I guess we are in a relationship. She is middle-class since her and her family own a parts store in the city, but throughout our months of communication she keeps placing herself here (USA) and in our house. Etc. Etc. She even posts love poems / sayings constantly on her facebook.

We were together for 2 days. But she insists on waiting for me and she communicates with me multiple times a day. She is 28 and still lives with mom / dad, 3 siblings. Is she trying to set the hook in getting to the USA or is she really in love? What do I do?[/QUOTE].

[QUOTE=SoapySmith;2116954] <SNIP>
You might also throw out the possibility of your moving to the Philippines. Since you probably don't want to do that, you'd need to treat it as a hypothetical. But check out her response. If she really loves you--as opposed to seeing you as a ticket to the states--then she ought to be willing to live with you in the Philippines as well. <SNIP> [/QUOTE]This is the deal maker or breaker.

Great suggestion from Soapy. Throw it out there and see how she reacts.

I actually found my significant other this way. She was adamant that she did not want to live outside of the Philippines and that was a significant criterion in attracting her to me.

We love travelling to other places and she also loves visiting my country for 3 to 4 weeks at a time but we're always glad to get back to the PI. I should also add that we lived together for 8 years before we "formalized" it.

As an aside. I counselled one of my work colleague's heart-broken daughters recently about a guy she had met online. He had never visited but had made all sorts of promises to the girl online about trips to the USA and visas etc. Then he disappeared.

She was crying to me how she loved him so much and she was feeling devastated. All of these histrionics about love were built on a few cam to cam internet chats. She has never met the guy in person and she was bawling her eyes out because she "loved him so much" but he suddenly disappeared, and she was bewildered.

There are some strange ones out there Mr Montanaland. Open your eyes very widely.

Well said, Soapy. The Philippines culture completely boggles my mind especially given the surrounding counter cultures of other Asians especially the Chinese, Japanese, Indonesians, and Koreans. Yet, this culture of "live for today" is exactly why their economy sucks for them but is a boon for us. Culture is akin to a "national personality" unlikely to change without significant, nationally impacted, emotional events that replace the mindsets of its leaders.

[QUOTE=SoapySmith;2116954] Many Filipinas, especially those who are less well-off, have a very passive understanding of their own capacities and self-sufficiency. Their understanding of survival is built on a model of fate and dependency. They eat today when food is plentiful because they assume they can't control tomorrow. Many dynamics in Philippine society and history contribute to this passive sense of dependency. They cannot get their heads around the notion of delayed gratification, such as living leanly while obtaining education or employable new skill sets, in anticipation of opportunities that may open up later. For many poor Filipinos it's a totally foreign cultural notion.[/QUOTE]

As stated in my PM to you I love my job, it is good money for not much work, they pay for my travel and I already get as much global pukie (approximately 50 - 70 different pussies and delectable pairs of big tits annually) as I possibly can muster to oblige with my ageing albeit highly motivated libido. Congratulations on your success at a relatively young age. No doubt you worked very hard for it, prompting your desire to say goodbye to it to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Let's compare notes when you're 62 and see you how you are doing then. A lot of retired guys are bored to tears. Me, I plan to keep on writing and publishing professionally (and playing guitar and pumping young, amply endowed lovelies) until I no longer can because it is all good and this is how I define fun.

[QUOTE=VernierCaliper;2108744]Dunna where you are cummin from but at 62 you should retire and enjoy global pukie as much as you can. I've set my limit at 50 so I have 7 yrs left. Then I sell all my biz, keep a few houses / cabins around and enjoy the rest of my days with GF, child and sports events with the guys (the cheating).[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=ChochaMonger;2117025]For a Filipina, love means you giving her everything she wants out of life. Love means that she is holding you responsible for making her happy and providing for her including her entire family. When you are no longer able or willing to do that, the love ends.[/QUOTE]The funniest show in history is 90 Day Fiance. Right now this American guy that had already been cheated on by 2 spouses met a Filipina online. He went to Quezon City to visit her. The girl is 36 with no kids. (And like CM said, that is way over the hill in these parts.) he promised her the world. He brings her home to Arizona and she was like okay we have to have this baby within the next year. The guy was like hold on now. He had a vasectomy and all but he promised her all these things to get her. I guess a baby was one of them. He tells her he really does not want a baby so soon and she says well I will go fuck somebody else then.

I am not saying that everyone is the same, but you better analyze the shit out of your chick and be damn sure of what you are getting yourself into.

[QUOTE=MrEnternational;2117246]The funniest show in history is 90 Day Fiance. Right now this American guy that had already been cheated on by 2 spouses met a Filipina online. He went to Quezon City to visit her. The girl is 36 with no kids. (And like CM said, that is way over the hill in these parts.) he promised her the world. He brings her home to Arizona and she was like okay we have to have this baby within the next year. The guy was like hold on now. He had a vasectomy and all but he promised her all these things to get her. I guess a baby was one of them. He tells her he really does not want a baby so soon and she says well I will go fuck somebody else then.

I am not saying that everyone is the same, but you better analyze the shit out of your chick and be damn sure of what you are getting yourself into.[/QUOTE]Appears she is looking for an "Anchor Baby". What do you think?

[QUOTE=RedKilt;2117221] As an aside. I counselled one of my work colleague's heart-broken daughters recently about a guy she had met online. He had never visited but had made all sorts of promises to the girl online about trips to the USA and visas etc. Then he disappeared. She was crying to me how she loved him so much and she was feeling devastated. All of these histrionics about love were built on a few cam to cam internet chats. She has never met the guy in person and she was bawling her eyes out because she "loved him so much" but he suddenly disappeared, and she was bewildered.[/QUOTE]From a Western perspective we are inclined to say that nobody "falls in love" after two nights spent with a Western man (as in Montanaland's case) or from a few internet chats with somebody the Filipina has never met in person. But maybe these situations can be understood through the overwhelming "dream" that many Filipinas have for a life in the states. I am struck by this fitting quote from a well-known Filipino: "It has often been said that in cultural terms we were in the convent for 300 years and in Hollywood for fifty. We prayed the rosary in the morning and dreamed of Marilyn Monroe at night. " It's not quite clear which 50 years he's referring to, but I think many would agree with the metaphor of ongoing influence from Hollywood images. So things American, including American men, fit into this unreflective dream that many Filipinas entertain.

So when prince charming arrives, however briefly, he appears as this pre-destined fulfillment of the woman's American dream. Reflection and judgment go out the window; she's sure she is in love. In a sense she is in love, but not in the ways that we Westerners think of as necessary ingredients for a successful long-term relationship. So your colleague's daughter's American suitor has shattered not only this thing she thought was love, but also her dream of getting to America.

In the same way, Montanaland's paramour may really think she is in love. Several posts have suggested that all of the paramour's "I love yous" and "I miss yous" are simply well-honed scripts driven from opportunistic motives. They may be. But another possibility is that Montana landed (pun intended) on the welcoming beachhead of a Filipina's American dream. If he was gentle and kind--and continues to be gentle and kind in his internet interactions with her--she may be more convinced than ever that she has found her American Prince Charming. Sometimes even women with a fair amount of earlier sexual experience may find gentleness and kindness a surprising and welcome experience. Perhaps many Filipinas are as culturally unsophisticated as Snow White and Sleeping Beauty, who were swept off their feet by nothing more than one prince who opens a coffin and another who kisses a sleeping woman awake. Women, including Filipinas, who live in fairy tales may be easily swept off their feet.

Whenever I find myself considering a foreign wife, I take a few minutes and watch Eddie Murphy's bit on "marriage" and "Finding a wife in Africa. It never fails to give me a few laughs and also sobers me right up. Another good one is Chris Rock bit on "Commitment".

[QUOTE=DCups;2117215]Montana: you do realize that if you want to make a go of it with her and tie the knot that you are actually marrying the entire EXTENDED family, don't you? That means you will cut your income into at least a third and more likely a lot more depending on moocher mom and dad, and the three siblings, all the first, second, third and fourth cousins, aunts, uncles, unknown illegitimate kids, Filipino boyfriends, Filipina girlfriends, etc. She has and most are all prompting her and advising her on how to win your heart and wallet and life savings? Wake up from this romantic myth dream! Don't be a fool, man!

On another note it is not unusual for a 28 year old to be living at home in the Philippines (and many other parts of the world including the USA, sadly). If you are hell bent on doing this go live in the Philippines with her, not here, and try it out. Any guy that brings a woman from their home country to the USA is completely stupid because the woman will quickly be tainted by American broads who think their pussy is made of the rarest, purest platinum-gold alloy while they literally rob you of your income, savings and indeed entire masculinity (and your mind) while bombarding you with endless, emotional drivel. Buyer beware.

.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=MrEnternational;2117246]The funniest show in history is 90 Day Fiance. Right now this American guy that had already been cheated on by 2 spouses met a Filipina online. He went to Quezon City to visit her. The girl is 36 with no kids. (And like CM said, that is way over the hill in these parts.) he promised her the world. He brings her home to Arizona and she was like okay we have to have this baby within the next year. The guy was like hold on now. He had a vasectomy and all but he promised her all these things to get her. I guess a baby was one of them. He tells her he really does not want a baby so soon and she says well I will go fuck somebody else then.

I am not saying that everyone is the same, but you better analyze the shit out of your chick and be damn sure of what you are getting yourself into.[/QUOTE]Yes. Do not ever promise a Filipina cream pie unless you can deliver cream pie, and in huge servings. Otherwise, be prepared for her to find another fella to fill her up at your expense. Pinays may not seem very smart but they remember everything that you say if it involves getting something from you. "Maybe" and "if possible" does not mean anything to them. They will insist that you "promised" it to them. It is best never to mention getting them anything unless you are 100 percent certain that you can deliver on schedule. Although Filipinas are very unreliable and untrustworthy, they expect foreigners to be dependable and transparent.