Thursday night reconnas … recconas … scouting mission.
Too many guys out on a Thursday night. Decided to save my mojo for tomorrow night when there's more choice and a fellow trouble-maker is back in town. Trouble brewing. Decided to go on a few missions in case of a party coming up.
Mission 1: Buy a camera. Went to local shopping mall 2230. Camera shops closed. Mission 1 not accomplished. Saw in the window the latest DVD camcorder with snaphot capability. Tomorrow’s mission: buy it, learn how to use it.
Mission 2: Pharmacy for condoms. Extra large please. No, I mean extra large *pack*. Thanks. And one tube of lube. Mission accomplished.
Mission 3: Buy bachelor groceries: three dozen oysters, fresh pizzas, corn chips and salsa (not too spicy), mixer drinks. Also bought some interesting vegetables - some for eating. Large Lebanese cucumbers are interesting. Mission accomplished.
Mission 4: Unexpected mission. Near the corn-chips section I spotted the lingerie section. Works for me. Baby-doll/panty sets on special. Should I buy black or white? Couldn’t decide. Bought both. The Filipina salesgirls were giggling. What’s the problem girls? They’re not for me. Asked them if they sell fish-net stockings. They giggled more and directed me to another section. Holding baby-doll lingerie sets in one hand, rummaging through stockings with the other, Indian shop-guy looking at me suspiciously, Philipino shop-guy smiling at me sweetly. What’s the problem guys? They’re not for me. Could only find black stockings and white gloves. Bought both. Mission partly accomplished. Fishnets tomorrow.
Mission 5: Very close to Rattlesnake, so drove there for a quick reconnas .. recconas … scouting mission for tomorrow night. Beautiful illegal parking near entrance pathway. Strutted towards entry door. Two Kyrgy girls sitting at a table on the entrance verandah watched me strutting towards them and said something to each other. All I could hear was “No, it’s not Brad … anyway isn’t he with Anjelina nowadays?” I entered the club. Crowded. Wild West movie atmosphere. A couple of guys in cowboy hats, one old guy in a Hell’s Angels leather jacket with sleeves cut off, showing a nice splash of sheep’s wool under the armpit area. Looked around for Clint Eastwood. He wasn’t there, but should’ve been.
I went to the bar. The barman looked at me from the side of his eyes and said with a sneer “What’s your poison?” I glared back at him for a moment, flipped a cigarette out of the pack into the air and caught it in my mouth, then rolled it from side to side in my mouth while staring him down. There was a moment of tension between us. I could see a bead of sweat forming on his forehead. I clenched the cigarette between my front teeth and said in a raspy whisper “Gimme a Bravo special. Make it a double.” He looked at me suspiciously, poured two diet cokes and slid them along the bar just a little too fast. I caught one in each hand, threw one down the hatch, slammed the empty glass onto the bar and disappeared into the crowd.
Again, beautiful gals of all nationalities. The band was kicking ass with a rendition of Billy Idol’s “Midnight hour”. Looked at my watch - dead on midnight. Looked around for Betty Boop. Not there. She’d promised me she'd never be known by another man after being known by me. Women - all liars.
After checking the ground floor crowd I went up to the mezzanine billiards floor. I looked down to the crowd below and saw a blonde in a very low-cut top, with the biggest milky hooters this side of the Mississippi. They looked good from the upstairs view. I went down and walked over for a chat and a closer look.
Being the strong silent mysterious type, I didn’t have to say much. I let her do the talking. Within a few minutes she confessed she was from Estonia and does group sex including lesbian depending on the girl, and introduced me to a girl she does lesbian with, a young pretty Latvian brunette, and they would come home for 800 each for the night. She knows and I knows this means 500 each. I took her number, told her I have to go but maybe I’ll call her tomorrow night, maybe I’ll see her same place same time, maybe it’s our destiny. I left her watching me walk away, with a tear in her eye.
Took the Bravo-inspired back-route home, avoiding the highway and shaving several minutes off my journey. Thanks dude. Five minutes later, I’m home sipping a cold Heineken, sucking slippery oysters down my throat, thinking life is good.
