Post II: Dating, nonpros and semipros
I'm also really into nonpros and semipros as I've written about and have previously written about some of those experiences. I primarily use Facebook but have also started to use Instagram and tinder a bit. I've written about some of my methods for finding nonpros and semipros in previous posts on Facebook. I don't bother with paid services like Seeking or Colombian Cupid as Facebook has generally been a good source of girls for me. For safety my advise is always to chat as extensively with girls as possible and ask for social media (if you meet them on tinder) as well as about jobs, studying, barrio etc.
Now, my primary goal (this is my 5th trip) has been to develop a stable core of girls I can see in the future. I've developed what I consider deep connections with four or five girls in the past but its been hard to keep things up in the past due to emotional issues (primarily the fact I'm married and in an open relationship) or money issues as I'm not especially interested in sending money to girls when I'm not there. These past girls are all nonpros or at least did not charge me money upfront for sex. Of course, the lines here are quite blurred. I had issues this trip, for example, with a girl I'd seen in July who I'd had a great time with. She went to Las Piscinas with my in July and we had some crazy sex together. This time, she had just come home from a vacation and flaked on me a couple times. The timing may have been bad, but the flaking wasn't cool in my book. This girl is webcam, onlyfans and dates guys as a semipro but she'd been clear with me in the past that we were true friends and she didn't want any money from me. I was also minorly in love with a webcam girl I met in last January who had feelings for me as well but we ended up clashing and fighting due to those emotional issues. I have started rethinking issues surrounding money and may send small amounts of money randomly, for birthdays or special occasions. It seems like a good way of showing affection and fitting the local culture. Ultimately I think investing a little money could be worth it if I can maintain the sorts of connections I want. There are also some great semipros out there and I may focus more on some of them.
I set up concrete dates with eight girls, went out with six girls, and ended up sleeping with three of them. I found the girls on Facebook and one from tinder using criteria for semi to nonpros I've previously written about. I enjoyed the dates generally as I picked out restaurants I would have liked to eat at anyway and places I wanted to visit. I'd generally offer up a potential second part to the date if I enjoyed the girls company. On all of the occasions, I felt there was good chemistry I had no trouble inviting a girl back to my place after that first date.
Now in terms of dating there are a few things to watch out for. 1) There are a number of flaky girls. You will probably have some ditch plans with you. There were a few girls I wanted to see that I never managed to make concrete plans with and a couple who made plans with me and bailed on those plans due to weather, being scared or other issues.
2) There are girls that are interested but scared of seeing you. I did have lunch at Mayorca mall with an 18 year I'd been chatting with who worked there to reassure her. She still chickened out of a second date despite being affectionate when I saw her. I've had similar issues in the past. I'd also say past good dates don't guarantee you'll see a girl in the future. I had a great date with a girl I met in July who was begging me to come to my apartment that last trip. Either she was genuinely busy or significantly cooled to me this time. I'd write off any girls that are unsure or seem like they'd chicken out due to the wealth of options out there.
3) there is a class of girl that is looking to make gringo friends to take her out on your dime. I'm agnostic about this. I don't mind making platonic friends if the girl is genuinely cool. For example, I went out with a strata 5 law student this trip who speaks English fluently and told me a lot of interesting things about Medellin. She was so interested I'd be happy to take her out again as I know I'd learn more about the city, culture and possibly go places I didn't know about with her. These girls can also be useful local connections as well. I've known another girl since July who has taken me to some cool spots and helped me set up a tooth cleaning and find different things in the city. However, I'm not interested in making loads of those sorts of friendships. I also went out with another girl like that (costena) I met on tinder for coffee who was at least a cheap date. She was nice enough but no clear chemistry. I played up the body language game touching her arm, shoulders, brushing her hair etc and even asked her about things but didn't get a great response from her. But conversation and company for 10 am coffee weren't bad for the price of taxis and a cup of coffee.
4) Finally there are some semipros who will just assume you know that they want money without asking for it. This is not a bad thing necessarily unless you are expressly avoiding paid sex. These tend to be younger and poorer girls. You should easily be able to figure this out, though, when you talk to them either in person or over chat. If you are trying to avoid paid sex, I'd talk about how you prefer "sexo con atracion mutuo" vs. "sexo pagado" and see what their reactions are. I did have a funny issue this trip with a girl I met where I forgot to have that conversation. She was 18 years old and tiny (like 4 feet tall) but cute and she was from a very poor / troubled background in Manrique. I took her out to eat (paid taxis etc) and at the end of the meal she asked me if I wanted to take her to my place. She was cute enough so I thought why not though I didn't think hard about how much money I had on me. Anyway, she was very affectionate with me the whole time and we had great sex. Everything was very GFE. Lots of making out, groping in the shower, and a couple of rounds of sex in different positions. She was more the romantic / affectionate than wild type. At the end of the date after we were getting the taxi at the door she asked if I was going to give her anything. I had 100 k in my wallet, which I gave her. Afterward, I got messages about how she wasn't a "puta barrata" and such, which was kind of funny (I guess she thought of herself as a puta carra). Luckily no issues, though. But I could have avoided issues if I'd been more careful talking about sex beforehand. I also clearly told her that she should tell gringos she was looking for money for sex, especially if they took her out to eat vs. Asking her to come to their apartments. I think we ended on ok terms and maybe she learned a valuable lesson. It's funny because she told me the only person she'd ever have unpaid sex with would be a boyfriend. I think this is a widespread attitude, especially among poorer and younger girls. I do think we had some genuine chemistry, or she was an amazing actress, as the sex was good and naturally flowing.
5) There are some genuinely sweet girls out there who are not interesada (gold diggers) at all. I went out with a girl I'd talked to on Facebook who was super sweet with me and very cool about money issues, especially for a Colombian. She paid for her own taxi to the date at a Peruvian restaurant in Laureles. She paid for our metro fares around the city as we went up to the Parque Arvi line afterward. Those sort of little gestures are a huge positive sign for me that I'm not dealing with an interesada. There was also lots of hand-holding and hugging from the beginning of our date and she made sweet gestures like giving me an earbud to listen to music and offering me use of her phone's hotspot when I was having internet issues. After going up the cable car and back, I offered for her to hang out at my place and had sex with her. She was pretty kinky / wild. She knew how to deepthroat and did CIM with swallow and told me about a lot of crazy sexual things she tried in the past. Her pictures were better looking than in person (which is another issue you commonly run into). But I think her sweetness and energy more than made up for that. She didn't want and I didn't offer any money to her. Her family owned a big pizza spot in Manrique and she was relatively well off. I only ended up being able to see her once. I think she was a bit off put by the fact I was married as well (something I thought I'd told her in chat but that seems to have only come out after we had sex).
6) The last girl I met was the best girl I met on this trip and someone I'd keep in touch with. She ended up being that "the me lo que quieres" type which we talked about quite explicitly and at length as I got to know her better. However, I'm more than happy to give this girl a little money because she ended up being one of the freakiest women I've met in my life (not just Colombia) and we had great energy and chemistry together. She is a light-skinned morena with straight her, a decent but not incredible face but a smoking body. I wouldn't have taken her for a freak as her pictures on her Facebook are quite conservative. I'd chatted with her since July and she has a boyfriend, which weirded me out a bit as I was worried I might have some Colombian guy after me if I saw her. However, it seems she is in some sort of open relationship and her boyfriend is ok with her fucking other guys, which I realize is also not so uncommon, especially in the pro-to-semipro realm. Anyway, I decided to have a beer on la 70 with her when I had a free moment because we'd been chatting so long and she'd been saying she wanted to see me. But I had no expectations of actually fucking her. We talked about a lot of things and our conversation turned to things like our craziest sexual experiences. I told her about how I enjoyed the swinger club here in Medellin and it became clear she'd never gone but was interested in the experience. She also made it clear to me that she was very open-minded sexually and liked having sex, so I thought why not and took her back to my apartment (I actually flaked on another girl I was planning to see). Anyway, after a few drinks and more talking we got to sex. I found out quickly she was into being dominated and degraded. She asked me to choke her and spit on her face while we were having sex and got off on me cumming on her face and begging for my leche. I gave her 200 k and paid for her taxis, which she was happy with.
On my last night in Medellin, I took her out again to tres cordilleras brewery where there was a cover band playing rock when we came, and afterwards took her to La Piscina. I've been to La Piscina once before with another open-minded girl and had a lot of fun (to the point where I've recommended it as one of my favorite spots in the city). This girl took to the swingers club like a duck to water. She was dancing on me naked in no time, sucking me off in front of everyone, and fucking in the jacuzzi like a natural. She also was intrigued by the BDSM room and asked for me to fuck her in the stockade they had there (which was cool in theory but kind of hard in practice given our body types / sizes). We also had sex in the smoking room next to my buddy and his girl. The craziest part, though is when we found a quiet place for me to cum (as fucking in front of people makes it harder for me to cum). She was masturbating as I jerked off on her face and squirted all over my leg as I came. We were also approached by a girl who was looking to swap or I think get at me. I let my girl deal with her, as I think that's the gentlemanly thing to do given the situation. They danced on each other a bit but it was my girl's judgment that she wasn't hot enough to do anything with. Piscinas had about 30 or 40 couples there when we were there and there were plenty of girls stripping, a couple of couples that fucked on stage, and a couple of girls that fucked each other on stage. It remains one of my favorite places to go, with a freaky girl of course. My buddy's girl was less comfortable with the environment and he didn't have nearly as good of a time as the two of us. I gave this girl another 200 k after we had gone out and had been fucking in Las Piscinas for four hours straight. The lines here are way blurrier around money than in other spots. I felt like we had really great chemistry and mutual attraction making the sex and companionship as good or better than any nonpro I've been with (she squirted on me after all jajaja). So I'd be more than happy to give her a bit of money when we see each other next time I'm in Medellin.
Overall, I'm starting to think that good semipros may be a better long-term way of developing a stable of girls than nonpros, though I'm still happy to fuck nonpros. I'd suggest that you should focus on more middle and upper-class types if you want true nonpros. Also clearly discuss sex and money issues in person on your date or in chats. Most girls are open and / or fine with those sorts of discussions about what they expect (I. E. Money for sex). You can pretty much get everything you'd get sexually with a nonpro from a semipro as well. The only thing that may be lacking is the rush that comes when deep feelings are present. Nonpros I've met in the past, especially the poorer ones tend to be waiting for you to show affection by sending a little money or helping them out financially in a jam. So the differences are more nuanced than one might think.