Only had 1 night in Hanoi and as my potential freebies were going to be too much hard work and probably not lead anywhere (as I have a habit of meeting nice girls rather than naughty girls), with the limited time I had, I decided once again I would have to pay a bit more for some local assistance.
I had some places in mind from the forum and could have just taken taxis there, but I met a young guy near the big roundabout at the old quarter who spoke excellent English so I told him I wanted him to show me around for a few hours and help smooth things along.
He told me of the various options from massage with limited choices, through to the very expensive clubs. Now before we left we agreed on his fee of 150K for "a few hours" and I would just pay for taxis. He told me to expect prices of 500K to 1M depending on where we went. I knew it was inflated, but what to do ?
We first headed out to Vung St, taxi fare was around 70K from the old quarter, but the traffic on Sat night meant the journey was quite long at around 40mins. Took a stroll along the street and was welcomed into most places to view the goods. Most were average but I did see one knockout and made a mental note of the shop. After walking around for 20 or 30 mins I decided the knockout was the only sensible choice, so headed back to the shop. Of course she was taken by now, so the boss said come back in 20 mins. Another lap up and down and still nothing could compare to her, so went back and luckily she was now free.
Now for the price negotations. 680K !! Extortion, but I had no bargaining power so reluctantly paid out the cash. The girl leads me to the back room and as we eneter I realise it's not an individual room, but once again the room with massage tables each divided by a thin curtain that goes 3/4 of the way to the ceiling. She takes me to the last cubicle in the dark room and, the vinyl table is still littered with hand towels and remnants of prior customers.
I look at the gorgeous girl in front of me, see her innocent but sexy look, think too much about the situation and a wave of depression sweeps over me. What the hell am I doing in this hell hole of a place, I'm not a Vietnamese factory worker. I tell her I'm sorry and that I can't do it, so leave and explain the situation to my guide. I had figured my 680K was gone, but to my surprise I got it back (well minus 80K for causing trouble). I tell him it's a disgusting place and I can't do it unless I have my own room. We then scour the nearby knock shops looking for a room. Up and down the narrow stairs we go into all the nearby brothels but they are all setup the same way. In a few shops as I go up to the 3rd of 4th floor I pass by Viet guys getting serviced and as the partitions have no roof you can see straight in to all the action, but of course I tried not to look :-). In the end no room can be found and just wanted to get out of there.
Back in a taxi and heading out of that slum and I really just want to go home. My guide (Lin) suggests we try a more classy place guaranteed to have separate rooms. I have no idea where we went, but it was a long trip (seemed to be on the same road towards the airport). Eventually we arrive and go into a nice looking multi storey house with the Viet mafia sitting around on the bikes outside. My interest is severely waned by this point and they show me 4 or 5 girls that didn't do it for me.
Outside we go and straight into the next house. Similar setup, I ended up choosing a 24yo who gave off a positive vibe in the intro. Price had increased by now to 880K, but once again I was a captive customer so had to agree.
Half decent room with shower and bed and so we start our business transaction. Body is ok and things start off well, until I ask for BJ. She refuses and says it costs more. BANG ! I totally lose it and just start getting dressed willing to walk away and get the hell back to my hotel. She wonders what is wrong and I try to tell her I'm sick of being ripped off. She doesn't comprehend until I start my ABBA interpretation and break into "Money, Money, Money". I was almost dressed when she said, ok she wont ask for money. By this time I'm not in the mood and should have just walked. But since I had already invested into this stock, now wasn't the time to sell out. I laid back on the bed expecting her to start with BJ, but once again she said BJ is extra. Ok, ok... 100K just start sucking will you.
Pathetic BJ so decided she was ripe for some half decent fucking, but my mind was elsewhere and it was struggle to do anything with her.
Cleaned up and stormed out of the place, get me outa here please. Of course, but not until you have paid the cleaning fee of 150K !! No fuking way !! Lot's of carrying on and my guide comes in and pays it. I was pissed and told him off, don't pay it, they already ripped me, plus had to tip the girl etc.
Very heated argument ensued but I was in the middle of god knows where and it was around 11pm surrounded by dodgy characters. Back in the taxi and my blood is boiling, what a totally crap experience.
Lin starts talking about how's it normal to pay this and that and that I paid the same price as local etc. I screamed at him "Shut the fuck up" or you won't be getting paid. He then started about how he has worked for 3 hours for nothing as he paid the cleaning fee for me etc. Eventually back to the lake and I hand him my wallet, here you go, take it all !! Take the credit card, take all the cash, take my phone, take it all !! By that time my wallet was basically empty of VND and had around $10 is various foreign currencies. He handed it back and said he was honest and I didn't get ripped out etc. I gave hime all the foreign currency and sulked home alone through the darkened streets of Hanoi thinking even a date with a "nice girl" and no action would have been a better choice after all.
The next day I left Vietnam, astounded that for a very experience monger like me, it was so difficult to enjoy the punt here. If you are here longer term it should be easy to meet some nice local girls without all the hassles of P4P here.
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