Seeking Arrangements

[QUOTE=Rinkzzz;3046767]Hello all,

As a newbie to seeking I'm confused on how to go about it.

So, a bit of a background, Mid 40's male. London based, have done a fair bit of mongering in many countries in the past but not used seeking ever.

I 'm by no means rich, have a comfortable job and doing ok financially. In my mind to enjoy seeking one needs to be rich (Expensive hotels, food, drinks and the allowance).

Is this correct? Is everyone using seeking fairly wealthy? In London its easy a minimum of 500-700 which I'm comfortable paying once a month, however I'm guessing it's a confidence issue.

Can someone please help and guide with the best approach? I'm really keen on going on SB journey and not into Pros anymore but unable to get started.

Any pointers and tips will be greatly appreciated?

Thanks Rink.[/QUOTE]Welcome to our world! Once you master the art of Seeking you will be hooked. And yes you have to have money but not tons. The 500-700 £ will absolutely get you a top quality date in London.

I've attached my soup to nuts guide on the subject. While originally written for USA it really applies.

So how do you do it properly? I suppose this could vary widely depending on what you are after. But I am after a girl who FEELS like a girlfriend. She's affectionate, appreciates an evening above her usual stature in life, and is able to actually enjoy herself with you. She views the allowance / gift (I. E. Money!) as a bonus. Not the only thing she is after. Any girl where I feel money is the primary motivation and she will go with anyone for a high enough price, gets kicked straight to the curb. She's got to be a girlfriend first, and any "benefits" come second.

Knowing that this is the kind of girl I want to attract (and other guys I have talked to also find this persona the most attractive), there is a set of rules you have to play by. Understand that SA is NOT AT ALL like picking up hookers. It is much more like meeting a girl in a bar and seducing her to leave with you. It's just an online bar. Sure you need money, but you also need some texting game and you need to treat her with respect. If you do, you have a chance of closing the deal. However, the moment you disrespect her, she will be gone.

The most important rule when vibing with a girl and getting a meeting set up is: never discuss sex or money. These things will be implied and they will be done offline. Never discuss sex or money on the Seeking Arrangements platform and really never discuss sex at all. As soon as you are that explicit, the kind of girl you are after will feel disrespected and ghost you in no time flat. Plus, it can get you booted from SA for life if you are reported. Don't worry, there are ways to have this conversation properly, explained below.

Start your engagement with a girl with some light chat and flirt. Your opener should be something specific to her that you read in her profile -- not something generic. And ALWAYS end every message with a question. This prompts her to respond. If you don't ask a question, she will not take the initiative and the conversation will just die. You have to drive it; and you drive with questions. Get her to tell you a few things about herself: what she likes to eat, her favorite wine, dog or cat person. It doesn't really matter what you discuss; just something that will get her to engage a bit.

At some point you will establish that you like each other reasonably well and one or the other will suggest taking the conversation off of SA and over to text. If tries to take you offline right away, she is probably a hooker. With the kind of girls I want, often I am the one to suggest going over to private phone text. You can keep it pretty innocuous, saying you notice she is not on often and it might be easier to connect up by text or WhatsApp. I usually do it after a day or two of chat but some guys pull the trigger sooner.

Once you are texting, pick up the thread you had going and continue a little friendly chat. At some point, you will suggest that you think you vibe well and should meet up. Most often she will agree and now it's time to establish that you will have sex (without saying it!) and how much is the agreed price (without saying it's a price! Some guys cover the price discussion in person, but I find that awkward and always set it ahead of time. I've done a few dates where we don't discuss it at all and I just pay her what I think fair; but this definitely runs a risk of disappointment, so I don't really do that anymore.

Once she's said "yeah, lets meetup" I say I want to describe our date to her (this is how I introduce the sex topic without getting explicit.) I usually say something about going out for dinner or drinks and having an epic time, laughing a lot and if the chemistry is right spending some private time (or intimate time or adult time -- insert your favorite euphemism -- but never say SEX!) or on the off chance we don't vibe, we can part after dinner no harm no foul. And ask if that sounds about right to them. Most often, if they are the kind of girl you are after, they will be down with this description and say, sure that sounds good.

This opens the door for the pricing discussion. I usually say something like "Of course I'the want to give you a gift / allowance. Did you have something in mind?" and the negotiation is underway. Never ever say "what's your price" or "how much do you charge for PPM". Always use the approach above, that you want to give them something. Sometimes, she will say she doesn't know and get you to give the first figure (good negotiating tactic on her part, but often they are in fact new). I am OK with this and say "well, what I've done before is 400. I hope that works for you. " (note no $ sign, and adjust for geography).

As far as what you should pay, I've found a strong correlation between what a pretty hooker charges for an hour (in a given city) to be what an SA girl will take for an evening. I'the say (pre-pandemic) most big US cities $400 was reasonable for a pretty girl, but it's definitely gone up since then. As of 2024, I'the say getting a US-based girl for $500 is par for the course, if you are good at this game, but with gems found for less than that. Many girls asking 800-1000, but I never pay more than $500 worldwide, with US and Europe being most likely to hit that number. But the gems are out there – I have a repeat girl in Brazil who is $100/ meet (yep!) and gem in the US that is $300/ meet. But most are higher in both geographies.

Once you have said "we are going to have sex, right" -- without saying it -- and money discussion out of the way, you should be good to go. Just keep on with the flirty texts without being too frequent, clingy or annoying and then meet up at the appointed day and time. More often than not, if you are not terribly objectionable looking, have a little bit of charm, and follow the "let's get out of here" model you might use with a regular pickup, you will end up in the room with your girl and have a rocking time.

Having done this alot (more than 50 times in many different cities), I've found that having sex on the first date is super important. The few times I've had a platonic date (especially a non-alcoholic one) to be followed by sex on the second date – it never happens. You have to take the momentum on that first date and take it all the way to the bedroom. Remember girls are submissive and will largely follow your lead – even if that lead is to the hotel room.

Finally, I should note that how much time you spend with her is largely up to her and how well you vibe. It's not something you negotiate, like you would with a hooker. I highly recommend you never discuss the amount of time because you want to treat her like a girlfriend, not a hooker. Most times it will probably be 3-4 hours including dinner and sex, after which she might say she needs to get home. But, in my experience, about 50% of girls sleep over. It's not something you discuss. It just happens. You cuddle after sex and next thing you know she's taking off her necklace to the bedside table. Bingo!

The other great thing about Seeking as you advance in the game is that some girls are true girlfriend material – not in the long term "I want to marry you" sense, but in the sense that you would spend a good chunk of time with them. These are the girls that I fly to be with me when I am on business. This is advanced Seeking game, but I highly recommend it. If you vibe really well with a girl (I crush pretty hard! Then they are sooooo down to fly to some fun city. Spending a few days with a girl playing true BFGF is just great fun. More than just the sex – cuddling, shopping, sightseeing – it's a full experience and "falling a little in love" without any strings attached is just the best. And of course you don't have to limit this to one girl. I tend to have at least one real crush-girl per continent and sometimes more.

Recently guys have been asking me about when I fly a girl to be with me in some other city and what I pay them. I have found that once you establish chemistry and you would like each other 24/7 they are fully satisfied with the PPM price covering a full day. Like when you first met, it was $400 for the date and maybe it was 3-5 hours. So then when you fly them somewhere nice, you can give them $400/ day and they are cool with that.

Seeking is absolutely the best, if you take the time to find the gems amongst the bullshit and follow the above guide.

[QUOTE=Steve9696;3046780]Welcome to our world! Once you master the art of Seeking you will be hooked. And yes you have to have money but not tons. The 500-700 will absolutely get you a top quality date in London.

I've attached my soup to nuts guide on the subject. While originally written for USA it really applies.

So how do you do it properly? I suppose this could vary widely depending on what you are after. But I am after a girl who FEELS like a girlfriend. She's affectionate, appreciates an evening above her usual stature in life, and is able to actually enjoy herself with you. She views the allowance / gift (I. E. Money!) as a bonus. Not the only thing she is after. Any girl where I feel money is the primary motivation and she will go with anyone for a high enough price, gets kicked straight to the curb. She's got to be a girlfriend first, and any "benefits" come second...[/QUOTE]That is one of the most thorough and enlightening thing I've read on here. You're making me want to give seeking a shot.

So I meant to buy a 30 day only subscription but somehow it ended up adding an additional 90 days to my account. Anyway, I am browsing seeking in NYC and I am not a fan of the selection. The girls seem uptight and the demands high. Looking at in other countries and cities and the selection seems way more easy going and not as demanding. Also alot of these messages that just go nowhere. Is it worth using in NYC or am I better off using it abroad?

[QUOTE=DigLicker;3046824]So I meant to buy a 30 day only subscription but somehow it ended up adding an additional 90 days to my account. Anyway, I am browsing seeking in NYC and I am not a fan of the selection. The girls seem uptight and the demands high. Looking at in other countries and cities and the selection seems way more easy going and not as demanding. Also alot of these messages that just go nowhere. Is it worth using in NYC or am I better off using it abroad?[/QUOTE]NYC is one of the worst places in the world to look for women, in general.

[QUOTE=Rinkzzz;3046767]Hello all,

As a newbie to seeking I'm confused on how to go about it.

So, a bit of a background, Mid 40's male. London based, have done a fair bit of mongering in many countries in the past but not used seeking ever.

I 'm by no means rich, have a comfortable job and doing ok financially. In my mind to enjoy seeking one needs to be rich (Expensive hotels, food, drinks and the allowance).

Is this correct? Is everyone using seeking fairly wealthy? In London its easy a minimum of 500-700 which I'm comfortable paying once a month, however I'm guessing it's a confidence issue.

Can someone please help and guide with the best approach? I'm really keen on going on SB journey and not into Pros anymore but unable to get started.

Any pointers and tips will be greatly appreciated?

Thanks Rink.[/QUOTE]You said "you are not into Pros anymore. " I don't know how you define a "pro", but what specifically about those women bothered you? And, how do you think women from Seeking will be substantially different? You have to give details for me to better understand what you are expecting.

What is it you think most men would prefer, overall? To achieve their goals with women, without paying cash for it, right? Accomplishing a process like that is almost always incredibly complex, and could take half a lifetime for the minority of men who ever do. And even if you don't pay with money, you are almost certainly giving up something else instead, such as your time and energy.

You'll find a variety of girls on Seeking. But the one thing that 99% of them have in common is that they are looking for money. The sex worker standing on the street corner typically only wants money, and only offers sex in return. Some girls on Seeking want more than just money, but they might also offer more than just sex. Where many men get into trouble is that they try to convince themselves it's not prostitution. It is, but it tends to accompany more comprehensive factors than simply mixing sex and money.

So ask yourself, what is it you really want? Do you want a girl to go to a concert with you, or perhaps bake you a cake, or maybe join you for a camping trip a national park? You have to know what you are really looking for. But you also have to know what you might have to go through to get it.

So here's the thing: in most of the world, "dating culture" , or whatever you want to call it, is stacked against men, and favors women. Especially in 2026. I'm sure there are some exceptions like Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, etc. Bottom line: men experience more detrimental effects from remaining single, than women do. Particularly younger and middle aged men. And the stronger male sex drive is one of the main reasons for that.

What I've found from experience in life, is that you can't really "circumvent the system. " The best thing you can hope for is to optimize. Whether on or off Seeking, you're still going to have to play the game, but you have to learn to play it more efficiently. For me, I discovered it's really a matter of finding a suitable woman. Which is not easy. You have to find someone who is open minded, willing to take risks, and more reliable than not. If she is short sighted, dumb, or dishonest, drop her right away and keep looking for another. How much money you spend, all really depends on how well you are able to develop a rapport with a particular woman. Strong connections go a long way. But steer clear of any women who are impatient, manipulative, or despondent. Just to give you a head's up, it's likely that 80% or higher of the women you meet, won't be worth it. And I say 80% minimum; could be higher. If you find a cherry on the first pick, I assure you with unquestionable certainty that is a magic bullet result, and NOT the status quo.

[QUOTE=Steve9696;3046780]Welcome to our world! Once you master the art of Seeking you will be hooked. And yes you have to have money but not tons. The 500-700 will absolutely get you a top quality date in London.

I've attached my soup to nuts guide on the subject. While originally written for USA it really applies.

So how do you do it properly? I suppose this could vary widely depending on what you are after. But I am after a girl who FEELS like a girlfriend. She's affectionate, appreciates an evening above her usual stature in life, and is able to actually enjoy herself with you. She views the allowance / gift (I. E. Money!) as a bonus. Not the only thing she is after. Any girl where I feel money is the primary motivation and she will go with anyone for a high enough price, gets kicked straight to the curb. She's got to be a girlfriend first, and any "benefits" come second.

Knowing that this is the kind of girl I want to attract (and other guys I have talked to also find this persona the most attractive), there is a set of rules you have to play by. Understand that SA is NOT AT ALL like picking up hookers. It is much more like meeting a girl in a bar and seducing her to leave with you. It's just an online bar. Sure you need money, but you also need some texting game and you need to treat her with respect. If you do, you have a chance of closing the deal. However, the moment you disrespect her, she will be gone...[/QUOTE]What a perspective mate!! You really have nailed it. As a former user of SA in USA, I can't tell you how much time and money I wasted but doing the things you are warning us not to do. If only I had this guide and words or wisdom in front of me. But hey there is another start and revival. We all owe you- for coming up with this blueprint of how SA should be used.

[QUOTE=Steve9696;3046780]Welcome to our world! Once you master the art of Seeking you will be hooked. And yes you have to have money but not tons. The 500-700 will absolutely get you a top quality date in London.

I've attached my soup to nuts guide on the subject. While originally written for USA it really applies.

So how do you do it properly? I suppose this could vary widely depending on what you are after. But I am after a girl who FEELS like a girlfriend. She's affectionate, appreciates an evening above her usual stature in life, and is able to actually enjoy herself with you. She views the allowance / gift (I. E. Money!) as a bonus. Not the only thing she is after. Any girl where I feel money is the primary motivation and she will go with anyone for a high enough price, gets kicked straight to the curb. She's got to be a girlfriend first, and any "benefits" come second.

Knowing that this is the kind of girl I want to attract (and other guys I have talked to also find this persona the most attractive), there is a set of rules you have to play by. Understand that SA is NOT AT ALL like picking up hookers. It is much more like meeting a girl in a bar and seducing her to leave with you. It's just an online bar..[/QUOTE]Thank you, Steve 9696.

This is a great Soup to Nuts guide, it is particularly helpful as you given the clear pointers for each step of the process.

I agree that it will take time and once you are in the game it will be the best and that's exactly what I wanted. Also, I'm similar in the girlfriend aspect you mentioned as the time spent should feel natural and not as a transaction. Will take a dive and fingers crossed should find a great companion.

Thanks again for the inputs, much appreciated.

[QUOTE=VanessasClient;3046836]You said "you are not into Pros anymore. " I don't know how you define a "pro", but what specifically about those women bothered you? And, how do you think women from Seeking will be substantially different? You have to give details for me to better understand what you are expecting.

What is it you think most men would prefer, overall? To achieve their goals with women, without paying cash for it, right? Accomplishing a process like that is almost always incredibly complex, and could take half a lifetime for the minority of men who ever do. And even if you don't pay with money, you are almost certainly giving up something else instead, such as your time and energy.

You'll find a variety of girls on Seeking. But the one thing that 99% of them have in common is that they are looking for money. The sex worker standing on the street corner typically only wants money, and only offers sex in return. Some girls on Seeking want more than just money, but they might also offer more than just sex. Where many men get into trouble is that they try to convince themselves it's not prostitution. It is, but it tends to accompany more comprehensive factors than simply mixing sex and money..[/QUOTE]Hello VanessasClient,

Thank you for your feedback, I need someone who will not be a clock watcher, with Pro its mostly "Wham bam, thank you Sir" even for an hour of time.

Will SB's you tend a develop a bit of a rapport, understand likes and dislikes and with respect both parties tend to please each other. It's more like a GF / BF relationship without strings attached.

With you on the game and to learn to play it efficiently with finding an actual GF or with SBs. Bottom line will be to find someone to go activities with, either playing pool, go bowling, cinema, concert etc. Etc. With the added fun element.

Hope to find someone soon and will update when I have some good news. Thanks again for the golden nuggets.

[QUOTE=VanessasClient;3046833]NYC is one of the worst places in the world to look for women, in general.[/QUOTE]Why does it have a reputation for both sugaring and vanilla dating? The profiles of the women are not that attractive and they all have insane demands, plus not even that much more volume compared to other places.

I am super new to the world of sugaring in general. I am wondering if it works in Europe. I am having no luck in NYC. I was thinking of going to Berlin for a week or two. From reports here it seems like theaverage girl goes for $400 to $500 ppm. How are the attitudes there? It seems more normalized out there than in the US.

[QUOTE=DigLicker;3046915]I am super new to the world of sugaring in general. I am wondering if it works in Europe. I am having no luck in NYC. I was thinking of going to Berlin for a week or two. From reports here it seems like theaverage girl goes for $400 to $500 ppm. How are the attitudes there? It seems more normalized out there than in the US.[/QUOTE]Yes. USA is a tough slog but only game in town. But it's way better internationally. You should have no trouble scoring in Berlin. Just be advised that like all prices Germany will be more expensive than Spain or Portugal say. But yeah. Should be ok for 400.-500.

Don't know your background but FKK Artemis is in Berlin. Not the best FKK. But serviceable and quite the experience if you haven't done FKK before.

[QUOTE=DigLicker;3046915]I am super new to the world of sugaring in general. I am wondering if it works in Europe. I am having no luck in NYC. I was thinking of going to Berlin for a week or two. From reports here it seems like theaverage girl goes for $400 to $500 ppm. How are the attitudes there? It seems more normalized out there than in the US.[/QUOTE]Portugal is a good option. Think 200 Euros or thereabouts. If you are willing to go as far east as Greece, prices will drop.

[QUOTE=Steve9696;3046918]Yes. USA is a tough slog but only game in town. But it's way better internationally. You should have no trouble scoring in Berlin. Just be advised that like all prices Germany will be more expensive than Spain or Portugal say. But yeah. Should be ok for 400.-500.

Don't know your background but FKK Artemis is in Berlin. Not the best FKK. But serviceable and quite the experience if you haven't done FKK before.[/QUOTE]This just goes to highlight the pussy desert that is the United States. A 400 meet in the US won't even get you an obese Shaniqua. Hell, 400 $ will get you half an hour at an AMP (aleit higher end). I have done Goldentime in Vienna for a layover. My experience wasn't too great but still better than in the US. Felt the girls were too pushy and woulnd't let you relax.

[QUOTE=VanessasClient;3046930]Portugal is a good option. Think 200 Euros or thereabouts. If you are willing to go as far east as Greece, prices will drop.[/QUOTE]Is Seeking popular there or are other platforms better? Also will it be latinas or can I score locals? I am monger in general but I kind want a more "GFE" through Seeking overall. I feel like American women are repulsed at the idea of transactional sex, whereas in Europe even among locals its not too stigmatized of a concept.

Amen to what Steve says here. Good writeup. I have been now using SA for around 4 years mostly in Asia, US and Mexico and my experiences have been the same. It takes a lot of work to land some -but it really has been worthwhile. Pretty much in any geo the prices usually go down as the age goes up. My experience has been when the age goes up -the performance gets better -especially in US. In US I have resorted to focusing on women of Hispanic or Asian origin as they seem to come with less baggage. My price range in US has been between 300 to 500 ppm. Elsewhere in India -it has been around 200 USD per PPM. London per PPM was around 700 ppm -but I think the quality there was very solid. Indonesia continues to be the best for me from SA perspective-both price and quality.

I also follow what Steve follows. Do not talk about money on the platform (BTW the platform now-a-days warns you if use some dinero convo in your chat) but imply that gently and then move them off platform. No VC is a no-go for me and I clearly make that point on SA chat itself and move them to other platform. When I am in SA. I am super simple, direct and respectful with a little bit of humor on my first message and that seems to be working well for me as I always get a response back. Once I am on Tele or WA, I cut and paste the initial post to get them aligned and then push for a video after some niceties. I try to get regular girls as there are a LOT of girls in the platform that are straight up working girls. I see this trend more often now in India where they seem to be traveling from city to city. One of them even said she has assignments in cities for the month. I usually drop the conversation if I feel like they are working girls. In US all of them that I met through SA had a job and were doing this to cover their dollar needs. I do the price convo usually via a VC or after the VC via chat. I am also very explicit on expectations and what they are ok and not ok with. Setting expectations helps IMO. I usually meet a person in-person outside first for some dinner / lunch / drink. I think this really helps break the ice and improves comfort levels between the two.

Good luck with the SA hunt!.

[QUOTE=Steve9696;3046780]Welcome to our world! Once you master the art of Seeking you will be hooked. And yes you have to have money but not tons. The 500-700 will absolutely get you a top quality date in London.

I've attached my soup to nuts guide on the subject. While originally written for USA it really applies.

So how do you do it properly? I suppose this could vary widely depending on what you are after. But I am after a girl who FEELS like a girlfriend. She's affectionate, appreciates an evening above her usual stature in life, and is able to actually enjoy herself with you. She views the allowance / gift (I. E. Money!) as a bonus. Not the only thing she is after. Any girl where I feel money is the primary motivation and she will go with anyone for a high enough price, gets kicked straight to the curb. She's got to be a girlfriend first, and any "benefits" come second.[/QUOTE]