Seeking Arrangements

Given the price increase in SA. I have started using SDM (sugar daddy meet) as it is far much cheaper. Again you need to do some intense hunting. SDM chatter has been going on in the SA-India group and that is the primary reason I signed up and then found a gem in US for now!. Had a great session yesterday with a girl that works in late night shift and can drop in post 11:30 pm! Going to see how it will work when I travel later this month outside of US.

[QUOTE=DigLicker;3046935]Is Seeking popular there or are other platforms better? Also will it be latinas or can I score locals? I am monger in general but I kind want a more "GFE" through Seeking overall. I feel like American women are repulsed at the idea of transactional sex, whereas in Europe even among locals its not too stigmatized of a concept.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=DigLicker;3046935]Is Seeking popular there or are other platforms better? Also will it be latinas or can I score locals? I am monger in general but I kind want a more "GFE" through Seeking overall. I feel like American women are repulsed at the idea of transactional sex, whereas in Europe even among locals its not too stigmatized of a concept.[/QUOTE]Lots of Brazilians in Portugal. You can try the site below. They might be a little more by the hour, but generally a good value for beauty and price. Lots of scammers on Seeking. On some P4 P sites like the one below, there are many more verified ads, and less people trying to rip you off.

[URL]https://www.apartadox.com/en/escort-classifieds-lisbon-portugal[/URL]

OK so on the Rio thread someone asked me to post about my experiences with someone with BPD.

To preface I am 38, American. I think women find me cute and attractive but not super handsome.

About 3 years ago I met a 10/10 girl in Mexico City on seeking, she is now 24. We had an instant connection. Then didn't see each other for 2 years and reconnected a year ago. The 2nd time around it wasn't as much about money as it was a real relationship / travel ect ect.

Well it turns out she has severe borderline personality disorder. And being involved with someone like that, it's taxing and will mess you up in the head as well. Except it's very hard to separate yourself from it.

I guess my takeaways are the age old phrase 'you can't turn a ho into a housewife'.

When people on here give the advice SA is best when you keep an arrangement and its for play only; it's probably strong advice.

If you meet or have an inkling someone you meet and have sex with has BPD, run away before you start developing attachments to them, because once those unhealthy bonds form they are much more difficult to break.

[QUOTE=HumbleHal;3021822]Many of you men, 95%, were nerds when growing up. Had no pussy in high school. Deprived of having a girlfriend. Had to go to a prostitute for your first intercourse. Admit it! Then you focused on the grades in college and got a good, professional job. Never had time for pussy or fun while growing up and pursuing your career and money source.

Now that you are older, the money rolls in, but you have no relationship skills. No ability to meet and date normal women, nor form relationships. That is why you are continuously looking for new women to bed, and are unable to keep the good ones so someone else gets them and marries them. You continously pour $$ into Seeking Arrangements and other online dating apps, looking for someone you can connect with on more levels than simply physical- but it is impossible. You have failed to learn to love anything other than your own cock! True!

Yes, I have one degree in psychology. A doctorate degree in another related subject. I would write a book about you men, but it would be censored and a pity, women would not buy it, and only the depraved would buy it. Stop this debachery immediately! Start getting deep therapy. It can help you on the path to a successful life![/QUOTE]Lmao, tell me more about my life story, guy.

[QUOTE=Rinkzzz;3046767]Hello all,

As a newbie to seeking I'm confused on how to go about it.

So, a bit of a background, Mid 40's male. London based, have done a fair bit of mongering in many countries in the past but not used seeking ever.

I 'm by no means rich, have a comfortable job and doing ok financially. In my mind to enjoy seeking one needs to be rich (Expensive hotels, food, drinks and the allowance).

Is this correct? Is everyone using seeking fairly wealthy? In London its easy a minimum of 500-700 which I'm comfortable paying once a month, however I'm guessing it's a confidence issue.

Can someone please help and guide with the best approach? I'm really keen on going on SB journey and not into Pros anymore but unable to get started.

Any pointers and tips will be greatly appreciated?

Thanks Rink.[/QUOTE]Seeking is needed in the USA because escort scene is crap. And for rich travelers who want to quickly line up NSA hookups.

In your case, I'm not sure. I don't want to sound pessimistic and discourage you.

But taking a negative view, you got:

London City.

5-700 gbp, once a month (do you include dinner, hotel, and Seeking subscription in this budget?

Mid 40's man looking for time commitment and emotional labor.

This is not a competitive package for hot girls. London has too many high rollers.

If you look at 600 gbp escorts on London Escort Guide, you're unlikely to get and keep an SB with those looks.

I see two options.

1. Focus on older SBs who are not stunning and who are a couple of hours outside London City. (But don't send money for train tickets. That's often a scam). Maybe go to her town, meet her without sex on the first date, try to gauge potential for an actual relationship. Invest your time in this.

2. Spend your money on escorts. 30 minute appointments with Babylon girls get you some of the better Brazilian ex-Scandallo ladies for around 300. Meanwhile, look to build a regular, non-sugar relationship. You don't have to pay a woman just to go bowling and cinema. And you don't need sex from her though it may happen naturally.

I hope I'm completely wrong on the above and it works out for you!

[QUOTE=Nsugen;3047629]Originally Posted by HumbleHal
Many of you men, 95%, were nerds when growing up. Had no pussy in high school. Deprived of having a girlfriend. Had to go to a prostitute for your first intercourse. Admit it! Then you focused on the grades in college and got a good, professional job. Never had time for pussy or fun while growing up and pursuing your career and money source.

Now that you are older, the money rolls in, but you have no relationship skills. No ability to meet and date normal women, nor form relationships. That is why you are continuously looking for new women to bed, and are unable to keep the good ones so someone else gets them and marries them. You continously pour $$ into Seeking Arrangements and other online dating apps, looking for someone you can connect with on more levels than simply physical- but it is impossible. You have failed to learn to love anything other than your own cock! True!

Yes, I have one degree in psychology. A doctorate degree in another related subject. I would write a book about you men, but it would be censored and a pity, women would not buy it, and only the depraved would buy it. Stop this debachery immediately! Start getting deep therapy. It can help you on the path to a successful life!

Lmao, tell me more about my life story, guy.[/QUOTE]Are you going to let him get under your skin? What is empirically true about psychologists? Psychology does not need external criticism; it has gone so far to invalidate itself. Think about what a clinical psychologists can really do. Diagnose mental illness? Yeah, because psychiatric disorders come with a specific set of symptoms. Whether it's poor emotional regulation, talking to someone who isn't there, rituals, or any number of recognizable features. But guess what? Numerous people all over the world get beneficial help from family therapists, substance counselors, and a variety of other "mental health" experts. All while psychologists try to hide behind their PhD and attempt to use it as a badge of superiority. Being qualified to testify as an expert witness on the stand in court, throwing perfectly sane people into mental hospitals, or authorizing killers for release who were extremely dangerous. Sometimes these duties are relegated to psychiatrists instead, but it depends on the jurisdiction and regulations. Look at the suicide rate psychologists when compared to other professions. Given their extensive knowledge of depression, they should be at the very bottom of the list, and they are not!

The real problem with psychologists is that they believe they know everything there is to know about the human brain, and therefore fully understand all human thinking and behavior. If this were true, people would not be running around committing every type of crime imaginable, the world over. The message they do a poor job of cloaking is: "If everyone would simply submit to evaluation, and then follow our DBT treatment techniques, then in time all people would be cured!" And the fact the psychologists think they can understand all 8 billion people individually makes them some of the most vain people on earth, followed judges and politicians. Psychology is a flawed science because it's too broad to be applied to everyone, and often goes by theory or hypothesis instead of fact.

The reason the girls don't stick around is because they are absent of gratitude, and they grow greedy and selfish over time. Higher than their baseline greed if they had any. I don't get married because I don't want girls to stick around forever. When they age and start developing wrinkles and gray hair, they are no longer sexually attractive to me. Exposing yourself financially during marriage is only half the story; I don't want to cause emotional trauma to any women either. Without the commitment, I pull the plug when I see fit. If it's a sex worker, she loses nothing more than the business. And if it's not, I can stay in touch if I so dire, without taking the woman to the bedroom. It's not anymore complicated than that.

[QUOTE=MrBuckley;3047264]To preface I am 38, American. I think women find me cute and attractive but not super handsome.

About 3 years ago I met a 10/10 girl in Mexico City on seeking, she is now 24. We had an instant connection. Then didn't see each other for 2 years and reconnected a year ago. The 2nd time around it wasn't as much about money as it was a real relationship / travel ect ect.

Well it turns out she has severe borderline personality disorder. And being involved with someone like that, it's taxing and will mess you up in the head as well. Except it's very hard to separate yourself from it.

When people on here give the advice SA is best when you keep an arrangement and its for play only; it's probably strong advice.

If you meet or have an inkling someone you meet and have sex with has BPD, run away before you start developing attachments to them, because once those unhealthy bonds form they are much more difficult to break.[/QUOTE]The best looking women tend to have ADHD, bipolar, and BPD, and guys need to recognize them. I would only commit to a woman with ADHD. Bipolars will fuck the hell out of you when manic but also bleed you dry financially when manic if you let them. They will slit their wrists when depressed just so they can feel anything even if it is the life pouring out of them. When depressed, it is not really depression, they literally feel nothing. Maybe in their 30's and 40's and if on medication they can be okay, but I would still not trust them and never do anything with them outside of P4 P. A ton of strippers are bipolar.

BPD or borderlines are the ones that have been the bane of my existence. They are good looking, great in bed, and at first, very considerate. They will be the sweetest women you ever meet, and they will charm the shit out of everyone you meet. But then you notice they do not have any or many friends. And then you notice they try to get you dependent on them. I had one tell me, "You know, things would just be great if you were in a wheelchair, and I just always knew where you were. "

And that is the phrase of the borderline, "I love you, I hate you, don't leave me. " It is in the hate phase when borderlines are so reckless. That sweet considerate girl turns into a full fledged narcissist, but she hides it from others. They will say the nastiest most hateful things to you and a second later be smiling, nice, and charming to someone else. And when in the hate phase, they are often narcissistic, and the usual narcissistic tricks are in play. They try to cut off all outside influences and convince you that you are the weird one. They will get offended at everything. A comment like, "You look nice today, honey" will get a smile. Say the exact same thing the next day, and they will roar, "Are you saying I look like shit yesterday? God, you are such an asshole. " They will literally make fun of how you breathe. It is hard to imagine one person can put another in such a dark place but that is what borderlines do. If you do not get that, I hope you never do. They are the real life version of Harry Potter's dementors who will suck the life and energy and fun out of everyone and everything if given a chance. Because if they feel badly, they want everyone else too as well, and that is the basis of the hate. They are mad at themselves that you do not love them more, and the reason is you do not trust them. Subconsciously, you know they are nuts.

All the traps you might put out to catch them, they may evade. They may appear to have no red flags, but one big tell when you are with them is when you leave them, they freak out. One went psycho on me when she went down to a bar and I did not join her. "You left me! She screamed in a demon voice. It passed over, and we fucked, and the sex was great. Later I had a friend say she thought this SB was borderline, and I recalled this event and I was done, and this was a fun, smart 10 type both in looks and in the bedroom, and I was out. Like I said, they can flip on you in a second.

The other tell is boundaries. Borderlines act is if you have none. This is the only shit test that will work. You try some test with money, and she will turn it down saying that she really likes you. That is not always but the usual shit tests, getting a third party to check her out or seeing how much she wants your money over you, she may be able to beat.

A funny depiction of a borderline was in Two and a Half men, a Christmas version. The only inaccuracy is the show did not really get into how malicious a borderline can be though. Anyway, Alan starts bedding his stunning cooking teacher. She takes over Charlie's kitchen and literally orders Charlie out of it. She gets both of them fat and dependent on her amazing food. She decorates the apartment with Christmas decorations in an overdone but beautiful style. Then Santa Claus does not show up again. Being a borderline the girl says it is her fault Santa does not show up and she tells Alan that she needs to be punished.

And that is the weird part of a borderline. They really do want to be punished when in the hate phase. They really do not want to get away with their narcissistic behavior. So they might make the ultimate submissive partner. Every guy may think they are alpha enough or narcissistic enough himself to control these women, but I have not seen any guy actually do it.

If you have been in the game long enough, there is no doubt that you have met one. They say 2 to 5% of women are borderline. I think it is more like one in 10 and when in comes to attractive women, it is more like 3 in 10 so be careful gentlemen. These women will suck out your souls if you let them.

I do not agree with the not committing part because obviously I have had success with commitment, but you have to be very careful before committing. If she has had multiple SBs in the past or been on the site a long time, yeah, that probably is not going to work. It is different with a newbie. My gal was on the site because she had a friend who got a BF off of seeking, and she was not on the site for long.

[QUOTE=Elvis2008;3047991]The best looking women tend to have ADHD, bipolar, and BPD, and guys need to recognize them. I would only commit to a woman with ADHD. Bipolars will fuck the hell out of you when manic but also bleed you dry financially when manic if you let them. They will slit their wrists when depressed just so they can feel anything even if it is the life pouring out of them. When depressed, it is not really depression, they literally feel nothing. Maybe in their 30's and 40's and if on medication they can be okay, but I would still not trust them and never do anything with them outside of P4 P. A ton of strippers are bipolar.

BPD or borderlines are the ones that have been the bane of my existence. They are good looking, great in bed, and at first, very considerate. They will be the sweetest women you ever meet, and they will charm the shit out of everyone you meet. But then you notice they do not have any or many friends. And then you notice they try to get you dependent on them. I had one tell me, "You know, things would just be great if you were in a wheelchair, and I just always knew where you were. "

And that is the phrase of the borderline, "I love you, I hate you, don't leave me. " It is in the hate phase when borderlines are so reckless. That sweet considerate girl turns into a full fledged narcissist, but she hides it from others. They will say the nastiest most hateful things to you and a second later be smiling, nice, and charming to someone else. And when in the hate phase, they are often narcissistic, and the usual narcissistic tricks are in play. They try to cut off all outside influences and convince you that you are the weird one. They will get offended at everything. A comment like, "You look nice today, honey" will get a smile. Say the exact same thing the next day, and they will roar, "Are you saying I look like shit yesterday? God, you are such an asshole. " They will literally make fun of how you breathe. It is hard to imagine one person can put another in such a dark place but that is what borderlines do. If you do not get that, I hope you never do. They are the real life version of Harry Potter's dementors who will suck the life and energy and fun out of everyone and everything if given a chance. Because if they feel badly, they want everyone else too as well, and that is the basis of the hate. They are mad at themselves that you do not love them more, and the reason is you do not trust them. Subconsciously, you know they are nuts..[/QUOTE]I agree with most of it. You seem expert so would you give any advice on getting out of relationship with a classic mild BPD unscathed? We are now at a point where it's sex without condom and money seems irrelevant to her but I found out too late that she has clinically diagnosed BPD and she can't be tamed.

[QUOTE=DwayneJohnson;3048107]I agree with most of it. You seem expert so would you give any advice on getting out of relationship with a classic mild BPD unscathed? We are now at a point where it's sex without condom and money seems irrelevant to her but I found out too late that she has clinically diagnosed BPD and she can't be tamed.[/QUOTE]I think my chick is the perfect candidate for seeking which has been part of the problem for me.

She is able to compartmentalize men is this crazy way and even if you do develop a profound connection for her its just like a lightswitch, she can just flick it off.

The problem is I grew really close with her over the three years, so I have gotten to the know the 'real' her. But at this point she gravitates more towards her persona and instagram. Which is tons of travels, exotic locations, mysterious, beautiful pictures ect ect.

I hope I can rebound and get over her, but man is it tough.

[QUOTE=DwayneJohnson;3048107]I agree with most of it. You seem expert so would you give any advice on getting out of relationship with a classic mild BPD unscathed? We are now at a point where it's sex without condom and money seems irrelevant to her but I found out too late that she has clinically diagnosed BPD and she can't be tamed.[/QUOTE]This is why I try to refrain from giving out personal info at all costs. Right now, there's only about 5 current or former sex workers who really know who I am. Of those 5, one of them has it out for me, but she has lost track of me and I am essentially a ghost to her this many years later. Another one is manipulative, but she can only harm me if I leave the back door open. The remaining 3 are honest and I am still on good terms with all of them, one of which has retired for good. Compare that to the fact that I've taken over 80 total to bed with me, at this point maybe even over 90. I learned in the past to keep info on an absolute need to know basis.

If this girl lives in your area, the risk increases. Of those 5 mentioned, only 2 even are legally allowed to set foot inside the USA, with the other 3 not having entry visas.

Best advice I can give is to send her a message along the lines of "Good afternoon, I hope everything is going well with you. I appreciate all of the time we have spent together in the past, but at this stage in my life, this arrangement we once had is no longer working. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors. " Then permanently block any and all communication of any kind. Change your phone and email if you have to. Make sure any public profiles or social media accounts you have feature convincing disinformation (distinct from misinformation). If you have the ability to deed your home / s to a Trust or LLC that may help some. If you live in a gated community, take to the HOA and security guards to make sure they keep her out of the complex. If she starts becoming seriously problematic, you might have to start parking your vehicle some distance from the property you intend to enter, and possibly get surveillance cameras. A restraining order is an absolute last resort. Good luck.

[QUOTE=DwayneJohnson;3048107]I agree with most of it. You seem expert so would you give any advice on getting out of relationship with a classic mild BPD unscathed? We are now at a point where it's sex without condom and money seems irrelevant to her but I found out too late that she has clinically diagnosed BPD and she can't be tamed.[/QUOTE]Glenn Close portrayed a woman with BPD pretty accurately in Fatal Attraction. Thing you have to know for all their supposed confidence the female BPDer thinks she is worthless and it is normal for a man to dump them like the trash that they are. It is that insecurity that makes them so dangerous. They are literally capable of anything because they feel so insecure. The famous scene in Fatal Attraction was Glenn Close boiling the bunny of the family of Michael Douglas, but that is mild compared to some of the shit I have seen.

So the last SB I saw who was BPD was in Mexico, and it was easy to cut her off. I suspect you cannot do that if you are fucking bare. So if you cannot ghost, address every vulnerability that you have. If she knows the PIN on your debit card, change it ETC. If she knows the address of where you live and you can relocate easily, try to move. No, I am not kidding. And be subtle about it. While you are closing all those holes, treat her extra nicely. Don't argue or criticize her. If she thinks that you have changed or pulling back, you say that you are so insecure because you cannot believe a girl as amazing as her is with you.

If you dump her within a short time of having sex with her, there is a pretty good chance that she will say that she is pregnant with your child. Again, that is nothing. The BPDer who was a SB of mine destroyed her entire family with a false rape charge against an uncle, and that was not according not to me but from her sister. A fake rape charge against you is on the table if she feels badly enough.

So if you are in deep with her, pull back gradually. Make excuses to why you cannot see her as often (problems with work and with family). Ease out slowly with reassuring words. Ideally, you want her to move on from you in part because you are not around.

The exception to this rule is when the BPDer crosses the line legally. Like I said, they have boundary issues with everything including the law. Long story short, my ex SB BPDer wanted to move in with me, and she felt that was not going to happen. She felt badly about that and was out drinking with a female friend of mine, tried to kiss her, and got rejected. So she felt rejected by two people, and she punched my friend who punched her back. Cops got involved and it took three cops and three blasts from a taser to subdue this 100 lb BPDer. That is some serious crazy power right there. Anyway, both got arrested, and I was not involved, and it was the excuse I needed to pull out of our relationship. Somehow the BPDer tried to bullshit me and play the victim. That is another BPD sign, constant victim playing.

Why would I introduce her to a female friend? Because she was not like your typical hooker. She was smart, bright, beautiful, not materialistic like you said, and seemed to be totally into me. She was the kind you want to show off.

Thing is that immature child that punched someone who rejected her is the REAL her. Holding out for the sweet her is a fruitless effort. If you are in deep, pull out slowly and do all you can to pump up her ego. Take acting lessons if you need to, and I am only half joking when I say that.

Repeat after me. She is capable of anything and adjust accordingly.

[QUOTE=MrBuckley;3048165]I think my chick is the perfect candidate for seeking which has been part of the problem for me.

She is able to compartmentalize men is this crazy way and even if you do develop a profound connection for her its just like a lightswitch, she can just flick it off.

The problem is I grew really close with her over the three years, so I have gotten to the know the 'real' her. But at this point she gravitates more towards her persona and instagram. Which is tons of travels, exotic locations, mysterious, beautiful pictures ect ect.

I hope I can rebound and get over her, but man is it tough.[/QUOTE]When in the hate phase, the outward appearance of the BPDer is narcissism. If they feel badly, they think everyone else should as well.

What you are describing to me though sounds more like pure narcissism with love bombing. Connection with a narcissist is almost always a one week street. That constant Instagram posting is to me what separates the narcissist from the BPDer. Narcissists crave attention and the finest things and exotic locales. BPDers often do not have that degree of materialism but both types are like the dementors from Harry Potter and will suck your soul dry.

[QUOTE=Elvis]So if you are in deep with her, pull back gradually. Make excuses to why you cannot see her as often (problems with work and with family). Ease out slowly with reassuring words. Ideally, you want her to move on from you in part because you are not around.


Repeat after me. She is capable of anything and adjust accordingly.[/QUOTE]Thanks, that's my plan currently and if needed I will switch city temporarily to put more distance between us. Sex is great, she looks 10/10 but bit too crazy. After this going to find a decent looking family oriented girl from Church.