Filipinas - Opinions and Advice

[QUOTE=FlyForFun;2798522]Went to meet an educated Filipina. We communcated on and off for six months or so and she seemed moderately interested at times to indifferent at other times. I chalked this up to she probably does not believe I am serious. In any case, on the scheduled departure date from the CONUS, she went radio silent but I got on the plane anyway. When I arrive her enthusiasm level goes up quite a bit. She arranged for me to come to her families house on the first date (wierd but what the heck). When I arrived she was happy to see me and we talked mainly about work since I thought we were in similar lines of work. There was really no chemistry and I don't see this developing any further. Question is: Since meeting the family is a big deal in Filipino culture, why on the first date? Seems like she would get to know me a little before potentially getting her familie's exposure to the Kano on the record. Seems a bit odd to me.[/QUOTE]If you are looking for fun only shut down any meet the family stuff. You are looking at western eyes where meeting family is last in line of romance. Philippines girls sometimes want to show off among their family and neighbors.

If you are serious after meeting by all means meet her family. You can always bail out. If there is no chemistry either wait till it develops or just end it. By your report you are not even acquired any bases with her.

[QUOTE=NiceGuy99;2798830]Pickley. Don't be bashful. Tell her how beautiful she is and ask her if she was born a woman. If she answers yes ask if you can have a full frontal nude pic of her. If she resists ask to see close up of her lady parts on video chat. Don't hesitate, this is quite normal.[/QUOTE]Thank you sir. This is why you listen to veterans. I indeed had a bashful mindset. After listening to your advice I casually it up after a compliment and she volunteered to show me her pussycat. She wanted to make sure I was happy with her.

[QUOTE=Pickley;2798775]I haven't arrived in PH yet but for me personally I have a girl I've been chatting where she looks the part of an easy girl with lots of tattoos. That alone I wouldn't judge her. But seeing her IG, she has lots of provocative photos and says suggestive things. One of which was cum inside me. Not sure how I can spin that in my mind.

When chatting, she is sweet as can be. Almost finished with school with a good major, lots of things in common and easy to chat with. But already suggestively said stuff in a playful manner, like when I mention my height she said I can toss her around in bed. This is within first 1-2 days talking to her. And around same time frame she already asked me to buy her something. She is well worth the 6500 clothing gift she was asking for, I said I don't send money to people I've never seen in real life but will be happy to spoil her when we meet. She was cool with that and said she never ask for money only gifts. The one to bring up staying over was also her.

She says she just made her account 2 days ago but hard to believe. I'm not going to write her off but my expectations are adjusted to a realistic level. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, well chances are. She's a FL. But if she's willing to make me her priority and keep treating me well, who am I to say otherwise. She literally said its my vacation she wants to make sure Im happy. Thats not girlfriend talk thats sugar baby talk. I'm going to just enjoy the experience for what it is. I mean, isn't this why I'm going to the PH?

Another upside is she did video chat with me so I know she's real. But tbh I'm now a little paranoid she might be tg because she doesn't have a high pitch voice. I'm not 100% sure though because I often think Asian girls have a very unsexy accent when speaking English. And she does vape a lot. It doesn't sound completely like man voice, just not as high pitch and sweet like I would imagine a 22 year old. I think there might be a higher chance I'm being paranoid. Other issues aside I'll be happy if she's a real girl.[/QUOTE]100% Scam girl (or LB). Every single red flag raised. Lots of tattoos, smokes and vapes, suggestive profiles, asking for money right up, getting into sex talk in the first chat. No decent girl would do ANY of those things, let alone all of them. Maybe she's a FL, but most likely you are being taken for a ride.

[QUOTE=ExpatAmerican;2798909]100% Scam girl (or LB). Every single red flag raised. Lots of tattoos, smokes and vapes, suggestive profiles, asking for money right up, getting into sex talk in the first chat. No decent girl would do ANY of those things, let alone all of them. Maybe she's a FL, but most likely you are being taken for a ride.[/QUOTE]I like to vape. What's that say about me? 😜.

[QUOTE=ExpatAmerican;2798909]100% Scam girl (or LB). Every single red flag raised. Lots of tattoos, smokes and vapes, suggestive profiles, asking for money right up, getting into sex talk in the first chat. No decent girl would do ANY of those things, let alone all of them. Maybe she's a FL, but most likely you are being taken for a ride.[/QUOTE]Hi Expat Am. Thanks for the input. My guard is up. I'll never send money before meeting. What other scam should I be looking out for?

Gents, I'm wondering if anyone has advice or experience on a scenario I'm about to share.

I've been married to a Filipina for several years. We got married in the Philippines, then I sponsored her to join me in my country. We've lived in my country ever since. The marriage has deteriorated and I now wish to go my own way and separate from her. My desire is to retire and move to the Philippines where I can enjoy life as a single man.

Although we were married in the Philippines where there is no divorce, we could get a divorce here in my country where we live. Let's call this Option #1. The foreign divorce would be recognized in the Philippines, so I would have the option of remarrying in the Philippines if I wanted to at some point in the future. But on the flip side, divorce will probably entail paying costly alimony (spousal support) for many years. Our assets would be forcibly divided, even though my wife brought no assets into the marriage. There's also the drama that the divorce will cause, and the need for expensive lawyers, court processes, etc.

An alternate approach (let's call this Option #2) has crossed my mind: Skip the divorce, and instead initiate a move to the Philippines with my wife. I know she is open to this idea, as we've often talked about retiring there. Upon arriving in the Philippines, I could gradually separate from my wife. Since there is no divorce there, she might have little recourse. I would avoid paying alimony and having my assets forcibly divided. My wife would also save face with her relatives and friends, because we would technically still be married, even if we lived hundreds of miles apart. That face-saving is big in Filipino culture. I would of course ensure my wife was looked after and got her fair share, including enough money to live comfortably.

If I were to go with Scenario #2, two key risks I foresee are my visa situation and the potential for legal trouble. I would need to ensure I wasn't reliant on my wife for my visa status in the country, as she could decline to cooperate. And there are laws against adultery and "concubinage" in the Philippines, so I would need to gauge whether my wife has the inclination to make trouble for me from a legal standpoint, if / when she finds out I'm seeing other women after our separation.

Thoughts guys? Should I just bite the bullet and get a divorce as per Option #1, or is Option #2 worth exploring?

[QUOTE=TomParsons2000;2799330]Gents, I'm wondering if anyone has advice or experience on a scenario I'm about to share.

I've been married to a Filipina for several years. We got married in the Philippines, then I sponsored her to join me in my country. We've lived in my country ever since. The marriage has deteriorated and I now wish to go my own way and separate from her. My desire is to retire and move to the Philippines where I can enjoy life as a single man.

Although we were married in the Philippines where there is no divorce, we could get a divorce here in my country where we live. Let's call this Option #1. The foreign divorce would be recognized in the Philippines, so I would have the option of remarrying in the Philippines if I wanted to at some point in the future. But on the flip side, divorce will probably entail paying costly alimony (spousal support) for many years. Our assets would be forcibly divided, even though my wife brought no assets into the marriage. There's also the drama that the divorce will cause, and the need for expensive lawyers, court processes, etc.

An alternate approach (let's call this Option #2) has crossed my mind: Skip the divorce, and instead initiate a move to the Philippines with my wife. I know she is open to this idea, as we've often talked about retiring there. Upon arriving in the Philippines, I could gradually separate from my wife. Since there is no divorce there, she might have little recourse. I would avoid paying alimony and having my assets forcibly divided. My wife would also save face with her relatives and friends, because we would technically still be married, even if we lived hundreds of miles apart. That face-saving is big in Filipino culture. I would of course ensure my wife was looked after and got her fair share, including enough money to live comfortably.

If I were to go with Scenario #2, two key risks I foresee are my visa situation and the potential for legal trouble. I would need to ensure I wasn't reliant on my wife for my visa status in the country, as she could decline to cooperate. And there are laws against adultery and "concubinage" in the Philippines, so I would need to gauge whether my wife has the inclination to make trouble for me from a legal standpoint, if / when she finds out I'm seeing other women after our separation.

Thoughts guys? Should I just bite the bullet and get a divorce as per Option #1, or is Option #2 worth exploring?[/QUOTE]I do not like your deceitful option #2 and will not respond to it.

How many years were you married will be a key factor for alimony and division of assets. You sound ignorant of the laws and might contribute to your own screwing. Is your wife a legal US citizen now? Many unknown facts here. Consult a divorce lawyer first and get the facts.

Rule #1. Always ask the right person for advice. This is not a legal forum. This is a search for sex forum.

[QUOTE=TomParsons2000;2799330]I've been married to a Filipina for several years. We got married in the Philippines, then I sponsored her to join me in my country. We've lived in my country ever since. The marriage has deteriorated and I now wish to go my own way and separate from her. My desire is to retire and move to the Philippines where I can enjoy life as a single man.

Thoughts guys? Should I just bite the bullet and get a divorce as per Option #1, or is Option #2 worth exploring?[/QUOTE]Of course the toothpaste can not be put back into the tube, but if you created this mess after 1987 when Eddie Murphy's Raw came out there is no excuse. It has said time and time again that if you have a bright idea to marry a chick that you meet overseas then you keep her overseas. Also begs the question as to why you would not enjoy life as a single man before jumping into marriage. How did you suppose it would benefit you?

[QUOTE=TomParsons2000;2799330]Gents, I'm wondering if anyone has advice or experience on a scenario I'm about to share...[/QUOTE]Absolutely, go get legal advice at home. They will be recommending that you engage them but they may present options that you weren't aware of and will be aware of local technicalities and loop holes.

Comments on both options:

1/ Act first and get your affairs in line. You don't want to be panicking after she has all her side in order and is sueing you.

Where I'm from, if you get advice from Lawyer X, they can no longer give advice nor assist the other party. That applies forever. Being the first to visit all the best lawyers in town can be a valuable blocking move and leave her with only the local ambulance chaser for representation.

Regardless of how it plays out, western divorces are expensive. Just the fees will be 10's of thousands. Add asset settlements and ongoing alimony to that. The advantage is that it's clear cut.

Do you have the option of a direct negotiated settlement? These can be enforceable and much cheaper if you think she would be reasonable.

2/ The big question is if you want to remain in PI or remarry? A bitter and twisted ex, who has lost out on a financial windfall, is unlikely just to turn the other cheek and make this easy.

I've always found it better to have a GF break up with me and move on rather than just kick her to the street. Much easier and everyone goes on to do their own thing. Instigating this is pretty easy. Unfortunately loose a work contract or make a few bad investments and be broke for a while. With no spare cash, her luxuries, family support etc drops considerably. Be sure to take her with you to social events, especially those with newbies present. It's surprising how fast she will move on if things are rocky emotionally at home too.

Do you have kids? They complicate everything a lot.

Good luck. G.

P.S. Of course, it's cheaper to keep her. Only you will know but is reconciliation, counselling, a romantic holiday a better option?

[QUOTE=Dg8787;2799433]I do not like your deceitful option #2 and will not respond to it.

How many years were you married will be a key factor for alimony and division of assets. You sound ignorant of the laws and might contribute to your own screwing. Is your wife a legal US citizen now? Many unknown facts here. Consult a divorce lawyer first and get the facts.

Rule #1. Always ask the right person for advice. This is not a legal forum. This is a search for sex forum.[/QUOTE]On further introspection, I tend to agree that Option #2 is wrong-headed and deceitful. I don't want to live my life that way. Sometimes getting these ideas out and getting some candid feedback is a good reality check.

A chat with a lawyer is a good idea.

[QUOTE=MrEnternational;2799434]Of course the toothpaste can not be put back into the tube, but if you created this mess after 1987 when Eddie Murphy's Raw came out there is no excuse. It has said time and time again that if you have a bright idea to marry a chick that you meet overseas then you keep her overseas. Also begs the question as to why you would not enjoy life as a single man before jumping into marriage. How did you suppose it would benefit you?[/QUOTE]These are all valid points. It hasn't been quite as long as 1987. Hindsight is 20/20, and I would make different decisions if I could go back and do it over again.

We only live once and I'd like to find a scenario where we can both still be happy.

[QUOTE=TomParsons2000;2799330]Gents, I'm wondering if anyone has advice or experience on a scenario I'm about to share.

I've been married to a Filipina for several years. We got married in the Philippines, then I sponsored her to join me in my country. We've lived in my country ever since. The marriage has deteriorated and I now wish to go my own way and separate from her. My desire is to retire and move to the Philippines where I can enjoy life as a single man.

Although we were married in the Philippines where there is no divorce, we could get a divorce here in my country where we live. Let's call this Option #1. The foreign divorce would be recognized in the Philippines, so I would have the option of remarrying in the Philippines if I wanted to at some point in the future. But on the flip side, divorce will probably entail paying costly alimony (spousal support) for many years. Our assets would be forcibly divided, even though my wife brought no assets into the marriage. There's also the drama that the divorce will cause, and the need for expensive lawyers, court processes, etc.

An alternate approach (let's call this Option #2) has crossed my mind: Skip the divorce, and instead initiate a move to the Philippines with my wife. I know she is open to this idea, as we've often talked about retiring there. Upon arriving in the Philippines, I could gradually separate from my wife. Since there is no divorce there, she might have little recourse. I would avoid paying alimony and having my assets forcibly divided. My wife would also save face with her relatives and friends, because we would technically still be married, even if we lived hundreds of miles apart. That face-saving is big in Filipino culture. I would of course ensure my wife was looked after and got her fair share, including enough money to live comfortably.

If I were to go with Scenario #2, two key risks I foresee are my visa situation and the potential for legal trouble. I would need to ensure I wasn't reliant on my wife for my visa status in the country, as she could decline to cooperate. And there are laws against adultery and "concubinage" in the Philippines, so I would need to gauge whether my wife has the inclination to make trouble for me from a legal standpoint, if / when she finds out I'm seeing other women after our separation.

Thoughts guys? Should I just bite the bullet and get a divorce as per Option #1, or is Option #2 worth exploring?[/QUOTE]Are you married through church?

In catholic you can divorce but never marriage again and you would continue your live whitout sex like a priest.

Why is your marriage getting worst? Is she wising a divorce?

Filipina is family oriented, they are humble and lovely, if you breaks surely she will be totally destroyed.

Is all of it just because her body is deteriorated for the years and you wants to enjoy younger one?

Something of Filipina still attracts you because you want to go there.

Don't be materialistic and hedonistic, choose your current wife and don't follow anothera just for fool creampies.

I have also a Filipina with tattoos who jerks me in public transport and is lovely with me. She will be loyal to me and the mama of my future kids if all works well. I won't divorce never.

Be more explicit about your marriage problems. Do you go to mass with hers? It could solve your problems, GOD can all.

[QUOTE=TomParsons2000;2799330]Gents, I'm wondering if anyone has advice or experience on a scenario I'm about to share.

I've been married to a Filipina for several years. We got married in the Philippines, then I sponsored her to join me in my country. We've lived in my country ever since. The marriage has deteriorated and I now wish to go my own way and separate from her. My desire is to retire and move to the Philippines where I can enjoy life as a single man.

.....

An alternate approach (let's call this Option #2) has crossed my mind: Skip the divorce, and instead initiate a move to the Philippines with my wife. I know she is open to this idea, as we've often talked about retiring there. Upon arriving in the Philippines, I could gradually separate from my wife. Since there is no divorce there, she might have little recourse. I would avoid paying alimony and having my assets forcibly divided. My wife would also save face with her relatives and friends, because we would technically still be married, even if we lived hundreds of miles apart. That face-saving is big in Filipino culture. I would of course ensure my wife was looked after and got her fair share, including enough money to live comfortably.

.........

Thoughts guys? Should I just bite the bullet and get a divorce as per Option #1, or is Option #2 worth exploring?[/QUOTE]It's a hurtful step if you want the break up. You did not mentioned if you have kids with her not. So we can think you don't have any issues. It's true without love and affection living together could be an another punishment for both of you. Don't try to be tricky with the peoples once you loved. I think better you bring her back to Philippine and pay her annulment fee whatever amount comes by. OR you can provide proper support for her residency in your country in exchange of freedom of yours. I think that would save her and would give you legal way to live your life in your way. I believe it will be relatively cheaper for you.

[QUOTE=Goferring;2799529]Absolutely, go get legal advice at home. They will be recommending that you engage them but they may present options that you weren't aware of and will be aware of local technicalities and loop holes.
[/QUOTE]I would not get legal advice. Personally I would try to keep other folks out of my business. And exactly what a law office is is a business that you will have to pay for.

In November I was in a minor car accident and went to the chiropractor. He kept trying to get me to get a lawyer. I told him that I was a smart guy. I did my own case by simply negotiating with the insurance company myself. They had made an initial offer, but I wrote letters of counteroffers. My personal payment ended up being $4000 where they originally offered me $1500. They also paid $2500 to get my car fixed and they paid for a car rental and I have up to 6 months to get up to $10,000 in medical care. Not bad when most people could hardly see the damage on the car. Once my kid was in an accident and I tried to advise her to do it herself as well. She decided to get a lawyer and her $5000 turned to $500 by the time she received her portion from the lawyer. They charged her for stamps and everything. For my case I did send 2 certified letters, but the negotiation was mostly done through email.

I did my own divorce where as my ex wife hired a lawyer. I ended up getting most everythihg. Initially, I asked my wife how she wanted to divide things up and I drew up the paperwork according to how we agreed, but in the end she did not sign it and chose a lawyer instead.

The key is to talk to his wife and find out how she wants to handle things then draw up the paperwork yourself and you both sign it and file it at the local courthouse and wait for a judge's order. There are plenty of forms and examples online these days. All a lawyer is going to do is cost you unnecessary money and time. I would not involve a lawyer unless you can not come to an agreement with the person and have to actually enter a courtroom for formal litigation. A monkey could type up paperwork, and that is basically all a lawyer is going to be able to do for you, at an exponential cost. He can not make you or her agree to anything. The agreement is for the two parties to come to.

[QUOTE=Pickley;2798775]
I think there might be a higher chance I'm being paranoid. Other issues aside I'll be happy if she's a real girl.[/QUOTE]You're probably not been too paranoid. If you don't send money, he'll probably go away. If you met on Tinder, 100% chance it's a man. Any other site, allot less. Tell her you like hairy snatch. Or plucked chicken, or whatever. Ask if you can please see what it looks like. . Haha.