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[QUOTE=Phordphan;1367598]But, if you want my advice, and you didn't ask, spend more of your time developing a relationship with a girl outside of the industry. They're not that hard to meet. It'll pay dividends later.[/QUOTE]Do you know of a good place in Tijuana to meet non working girls that want to meet Americans that possibly speak English?
I have had a few good lucks having girls even say hi to me when I was in plaza Rio alone, and smoking my cigarettes, just enjoying the view, nothing great has come out of it yet, but if you are not a local, but just hanging there, there is always that off chance that a pretty girl will give you a second look and you can do your thing.
All you need to invest is your time, which, unfortunately, I have a very limited amount of.
[QUOTE=Tempe Jon;1367835]Do you know of a good place in Tijuana to meet non working girls that want to meet Americans that possibly speak English?[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Tempe Jon;1367835]Do you know of a good place in Tijuana to meet non working girls that want to meet Americans that possibly speak English?[/QUOTE]It can be difficult in most any place that is fairly conservative, culturally speaking, like Mexico. The biggest fly in the ointment is the language thing. Most speak some English, but aren't comfortable conversing.
A dance club is a good a place as any to meet them, as I've never met a Latina who didn't love to dance. Depending on your age, there are several places to try. Circo Sexta is good if you're early 20s. Cats might be a good spot for 20s to 40s. La Estrella has a mix of all ages, but the chicas tend to move "local" tastes. Plenty of other places up and down 6th street. The main problem is that you'l really need to go with a friend or wingman for the younger crowd. The older women are a bit easier to meet if you're there on your own. I've never encountered anybody who had any problem with gringos. But, again, the language thing will be your biggest hurdle.
Having said that, believe it or not the Internet is a good place to meet non-working women. Yes, it takes some time. But, generally, the ones on-line are there because they're already looking to meet men. It's a lot quicker to filter out the "undesirable" ones using this method, it's much easier to find the English speaking ones and you can arrange meetings with the ones who show interest. You're not likely to get laid immediately. Your first, and possibly more, dates may be chaperoned by her friends. But it'll be worth it to get a view of life from "the other side."
[QUOTE=Phordphan;1367882]Having said that, believe it or not the Internet is a good place to meet non-working women. Yes, it takes some time. But, generally, the ones on-line are there because they're already looking to meet men. It's a lot quicker to filter out the "undesirable" ones using this method, it's much easier to find the English speaking ones and you can arrange meetings with the ones who show interest. You're not likely to get laid immediately. Your first, and possibly more, dates may be chaperoned by her friends. But it'll be worth it to get a view of life from "the other side."[/QUOTE]Which websites do you use?
[QUOTE=Tempe Jon;1367889]Which websites do you use?[/QUOTE]I haven't done much with the Mexican sites because all of my serious faves live elsewhere.
Mexicancupid. Com and metrodate. Com are two. Metrodate seems to have a lot more peope in the DF area than in Baja. Mexicancupid is a much larger site, lots more women closer to Tijuana. Language may be an issue, but, then again, maybe not.
Avoid amolatina. Com.
Please keep us posted on whether or not you have any luck with these.
I thought I would share this. While surfing the internet I found this tourist guide that the city of Tijuana published. It is not specific to mongering but it has all kinds of useful information on like what to do if your car is stolen, what to do if you believe a cop is wrongfully accusing you of a crime, what to do if you are in an accident, etc. It describes the entire legal system down there and how it works. One thing that I did not know until I read this is that if you do get in trouble with a cop you can ask them to give you a written citation. You can even pay your fine by mail. You can always ask a cop to do that and according to this document they have to give you one. Only if you do something really serious like drunk driving do you have to be brought into the jail. It even tells how to file complaints against corrupt Tijuana police officers. I really found this to be informative. Click on the below link to download it directly from the city of Tijuana's website.
[url]http://www.tijuana.gob.mx/Turismo/TouristGuide/English/TouristGuideEnglish.zip[/url]
[QUOTE=Phordphan; 1368038]I haven't done much with the Mexican sites because all of my serious faves live elsewhere.
Mexicancupid. Com and metrodate. Com are two. Metrodate seems to have a lot more peope in the DF area than in Baja. Mexicancupid is a much larger site, lots more women closer to Tijuana. Language may be an issue, but, then again, maybe not.
Avoid amolatina. Com.
Please keep us posted on whether or not you have any luck with these.[/QUOTE]I read your other posts on this topic, and you got it right. Truthfully, the best places to meet good Mexican women is malls or public places like restaraunts. The language barrier is as you noted the biggest obstacle. I speak fluently, semi I should say, enough to make jokes and use wome charm / with so it was easier for me.
Words of caution though; allot of the girls you see on those websites are workers by night. The exception is getting an educated lady that comes from a solid financial background and family. Most of those have Mexican men though. My wife and just had an extensive conversation on this topic. The society and lack of government assitance pushes women into some form of the sex trade, or early marriage to a bum. There is no food stamps, WIC programs, student loans, or safety net for women. So, keep alert no matter where you attempt to meet a lady in Mexico.
One thing about dance clubs; be careful there too. Funny, on New Year's Eve my wife and I were partying in Mexicali. We ended out at a place called "The Mint" which is a dance club with hip-hop / rap. Was a great time, but I had to laugh. I saw two americans about my age (48) acting like they were at a strip club or Bar San Diego. Totally there on a pussy hunt but the girls were all with their boyfriends and husbands. I thought "guys, you are out of your element, someone is going to get hurt." We left at about 2:30am and sure enough, the more aggressive of the two started toward my wife with his hand on his crotch and acting like he had something to offer her. The guy with him, who looked like a brother, grabbed him and pointed at me. I made eye contact and they walked away. I couldn't help but wonder what they were doing there without lady freinds. It was literally like the sterotypical american who think Mexicans are all working girls and dying to fuck. I wish!
My point is, if you go that route be respectful and make sure you don't grab some local guys lady because there is no better way to get a gringo ass kicked, or at least an attempt, than messing with a Mexican man's wife.
My suggestion is as you mention; a dating website, start slow, set up lunches and dinners, and eventually hit some local attractions. Just be careful!
[quote=phordphan; 1367598]ok. dude. time to move back a bit for some perspective.
how old are you? seriously. i'm always interested when i read stories of a captain save-a-ho and his tragic love affair with a lady of the night. what was the guy's age, the age of the girl, what did they both expect of the relationship, etc.
i've come close to falling head over heels with a working girl. it's easier than many guys think. i still have faves in tijuana, and probably always will. but marriage or ltr material? you really need to step back and rethink this.
hammer is understating things. i don't think it's 1 in 100 client / bar girl relationships that work. i think it may be closer to 1 in 1000. or worse. he's one of the extremely lucky ones. seriously, guy. don't fuck around with it. don't [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord140][CodeWord140][/url] away your time.
let me give an alternate view. i am 54. i have an extremely serious thing going with a girl who just turned 40, but can easily pass for early 30s. i won't get too specific, but she's from a country where the girls are noted for being hookers, and not the philippines. she's tiny, pretty, a great rack. she's got a degree, a good salary, she's the manager of a department of a rather large it company. she's never even seen the inside of a naughty bar. she owns her own house and car, and, for good measure, is almost insatiable in the sack. the point is, i spent about as much time, and far less money, developing this one as any bar girl. and the results have been far better than any bar girl relationship i've ever had.
lest you say this is a one-off, let me tell you that, much like the song, i had to "make up my mind." i had several others to choose from, including a cute teacher, a well to do accounting department manager and a marketing executive for a well-known multi-national publishing company. all were self-sufficient, had good jobs, educated, etc, etc.
my point is, that bar girls are fun and interesting, in their place. but do you really want to get involved with the drama, the head games, the suspicions, all the bullshit that comes with trying to develop a relationship with a damaged lady? been there, done that, and i don't want a repeat.
think very hard about this. if you choose to pursue this chica, then good on you and good luck. but, if you want my advice, and you didn't ask, spend more of your time developing a relationship with a girl outside of the industry. they're not that hard to meet. it'll pay dividends later.[/quote]you are spot on in most of your opinion. we see this basically the same, and i definitely would never suggest anyone pursue a long term with one of the girls as there is just too much shit to wade through doing it. example; i don't care how self assured and secure a man is, even after marriage there will be doubts as to whether they are fucking someone outside the marriage, are you adequate sexually compared to the in some cases 500 or more they have experienced, can you get them off sexually, among many other issues. in fact most of the problems are seucally realted and inner-personal relationship dynamics. they have difficulty forming strong emotional bonds because they spent years disconnectiong emotionally from the sex acts they performed. i got through all of that with my wife's sometimes hard but honest guidance. bottom line; too much hassle and really draining.
let me say for me it was and still is gut wrenching to look at my wife at times when she is naked and think about the men that have fondeled those tits, had there way with her, heard her moan, etc. that is the worse and i think the reason most of these relationships fail. i came to terms with it like this: i have had my fair share of women too, so really the only dividing line between her and i is she got paid and i did the paying in one form or another. so, who am i to judge her? i had to let it go man or it would have ate us like a cancer.
the one area i differ is where you say "bar girls are fun and interesting, in their place." i see this from a more human view point, of course having met many in the industry and known them personally and their stories personally, including my wife. not many of those girls like "their place" and never dreamed they would land there. they were little girls with hopes and aspirations too; dreams of princes and castles just like any child. their government fucked them; period. poor women in mexico have two choices: 1. marry a man much older and have him abuse you while throwing a few pesos your way 2. sex industry and try to make a life.
my wife and i ironically just talked about this in detail yesterday. the government has no safety net for the poor, women in particular. there are no foodtamps, no wic, no student loans. nothing. most of these girls marry the village punk or older man and have a kid by 15 as a security matter. the guys bail and they find themselves a burden on their families. in my wife's case she was swepped up by a kid whose family was big in the jehova witness faith. she was 15 and a virgin and the guy was 21 and wise to the world. my wife had never had a sniff of alcohol, and the kid got her drunk and basically raped her. she woke up in his car with her panties down and blood all over her pants. she got pregnant and the trap was set. the kid committed spousal [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord123][CodeWord123][/url] on her almost daily for two years until she fled the abuse. that's how the industry found her; an old beat up car, nothing but a few clothes in it, and a baby in the streets of mexico. she had no choice; none, except stay in an abusive relationship. the only thing she had going for her was her body and great looks.
she told me how dirty and shameful it was those first weeks dancing and how the industry slowly eats away your sense of morality until you get that offer for a couple hundred dollars for an hour, the guy is handsome and clean, you just spent 6-hours getting to know him at the strip club, and you make that step. she said from there one thing leads to another. to this day she will cry when she talks about that sacrifice of her morality for her child and life. many of these girls can be saved, and many of the relationships would survive but the man tears it down with his jealousy and inability to come to terms with their past. this confirms in the woman's mind that she is garbage and condemned to that life. i saw that in me; and i had to stop throwing that stuff at my wife. i hurt her deeply many times by going back to her past. one time i saw a look, not of pain but of "ok, that's it" come across her face and i thought "you better get your shit together because she isn't going to hear that any more." the one thing she said is this "i have not been with a man since the night i met you in tijuana. i have been totally faithful to you. leave my past alone." cut me like a dagger. so, men have a role in these failures.
so, not every bar girl likes "their place" and most dream of a better life at the start of their career, but the career actually sucks that life out of them. a tragedy of life really. i think the reason my wife and i made it is she still handen't lost her dream of some normalcy and a traditional marriage. while the career had hardened her to pain and emotional connections to some extent, she was still wanting out. but; she also wasn't a bar girl who made money turning tricks. her income was high end stripper with a few, very few, escort type connections with upper end men. she told me she averaged 3-4 fs a month, normally with the same men who she developed relationships with. so, while she had her "dates" believe it or not the high end girls look way down on the bar girls and the sex by volume trade. in fact, i asked her once about hong kong and with almost disdain she spit out "they are putas there. never go there." now; privately i always thought to myself "yep, and you were on your way there if i haden't met you." most strippers do end turning tricks by volume as they age off the stage at the clubs and find bordellos or the streets their only option.
the other thing you mention that strikes me as a contradiction is you note your success with professional women, but you are at hong kong getting laid! i guess you have this all worked out in your own way like most of us do. there's always something enticing about scantily clad women prancing around. i have to admit; i married a really sexually attractive woman; but put me in a strip club and i'm all in.
good luck man!
It was a rainy Sunday and I had that debate going in my head should I stay in the comfort of my home and watch football or join NSd1983 for his last night in Tijuana and probably a wild and crazy time. Next thing I knew I was headed south to Tijuana.
I was feeling a bit depressed about releationship with my MBGF. I hadn't talked to her in over a week, and since she usually texts about 4 times a day I had convinced myself that this releationship had finally come to an end. But thats ok I was sure a night of drinking in the zona would cure everything. I also had the idea maybe around 12 or 1 I would give it one last shot and call and tell her I was in town and get her to come to my room. However just as I hit Chula Vista I got a text from the MBGF and she told me sorry for being out of touch but she left Tijuana to be with family for the Holidays. I guess that was a good thing I would be a free man all night.
I checked into Hotel Ticuan and a short time later headed for the Zona. Met up with NSD and the drinking started we hit a few of the regular places HK LC and Tropical. Soon after we ran into Pimpinit a cool guy to hang with even if he wasn't carrying the famous panda and soon after we ended up in Malquerida bar, I never really hung out in here before but it is kind of a different vibe for the zona. It was hard to tell who were the girls that worked there and who were the girls there not working. As soon as NSD spotted a girl who was working he brought her over to me. I tried talking to her with the few words I know in Espanol but I soon figured out she spoke English better than I did. It turns out she was an English teacher who just started working there to supplement her income. NSD being the wild and crazy guy that he is was soon offering her money to give me a BJ in the bar, that never happened. Soon Pimpinit and NSD took off and left me alone with the teacher. Although I like to hang in bars I avoid taking BG's arriba, but when she wispered in my ear in perfect english "I want to fuck your brains out" I thought I might be in love. But instead I headed out to go find the fellas.
I found Pimpinit and NSD out on the street talking to a SG we tried to come up with a plan on what to do next. We talked about maybe leaving the zona and heading for Las Pulgas for a different experience. By this time NSD was starting to feel the effects of the Tequila he had been drinking and he was ready for anything. And Pimpinit had that look of why leave all this pussy to go hang out in a civie bar. Anyway NSD and myself jumped in a cab for Las Pulgas. I had never been to Las Pulgas without a date so I wasn't sure what to expect. Las Pulgas does not appear to be sit up like a normal pick up kind of bar, since it is hard to mingle there due to the layout of everyone sitting at there own tables in there own little groups.
After a short cab ride we were at Las Pulgas we barely got a few steps into the place and I came across a face that looked familiar to me, it turned out to be my GF's best friend and she was sitting with another girl, they wanted us to join them so just like that we were able to blend right in. So we had a good time dancing and drinking. After a bit the GF's friend started coming on to me saying how she wanted me tonight and grabing my dick. Wow that was a good feeling, I'am no prize and I don't think anybody has told me they have wanted me in like 36 years. Of course my dick was saying go for it and my mind was saying probably not a good idea. Special thanks to SuperSteve for reposting about that awful experience he had with a women scorned, and with that fresh on my mind I passed. After thinking about it for a while I was sure that eventually the GF would have found out it it could have turned into a real ugly experience. But I'am still amazed these chicas down here will fuck anyone.
We did venture out on our own for a little while. NSD on Tequila is the best he was dancing with anything that moved I don't think the meseros liked it but the ladies were enjoying themselves. So while this Trip report does not provide alot of usefull information to fellow mongers. Hopefully some middle age men who are suffering from mid life crisis (like myself) will read this and get off the couch and head for Tijuana it can be alot of fun.
[QUOTE=MS Clive; 1367257]Hammer. Respect for all your stories and experiences. You seem to have lived a full and eventful life. Thanks for the safety advice as well. Might save my life as I would easily have done what you did in the bar. Only I would not have known how to escape the situation.
But dude. You posting and reposting your wife's pics on ISG. This is a first.[/QUOTE]I know! I have to admit I even cringed a little when I posted them! I was worried half you dudes were going to say "I KNOW her!" No, look man, I posted them for a couple of reasons. One; she is a looker and I'm proud of that, and two, I had a guy awhile back tell me that I was full of bullshit and living some sick fantasy. It kind of cut deep as honestly I'm just trying to be helpful on here, so I thought by posting her picture it might legitamize my testimony and insight. Oh well; at least I didn't hear "I KNOW her inside and out!" That might of been a little crushing! Thanks bro,
Hammer
[QUOTE=Tempe Jon; 1368039]I thought I would share this. While surfing the internet I found this tourist guide that the city of Tijuana published.
[url]http://www.tijuana.gob.mx/Turismo/TouristGuide/English/TouristGuideEnglish.zip[/url][/QUOTE]This looks useful and thanks for posting it but I did a double take when I saw who the mayor of San Diego was. The brochure is dated 2004 so some of the information may be out of date now.
[QUOTE=JPF;1368315]This looks useful and thanks for posting it but I did a double take when I saw who the mayor of San Diego was. The brochure is dated 2004 so some of the information may be out of date now.[/QUOTE].
Well I can tell you that it is currenly on the city of Tijuana's website for downlaod ([url]http://www.tijuana.gob.mx/Turismo/TouristGuide/English/index.asp[/url]). I would think they would take it down or update it if it was no longer accurate.
[QUOTE=Tempe Jon; 1368332].
I would think they would take it down or update it if it was no longer accurate.[/QUOTE]Unfortunately that is not the case. For example, they give the location of the main police station as being at the corner of 8th and Constitucion. If you go there you will find just an empty lot since the notorious La Ocho has been demolished.
[QUOTE=The Hammer1169;1368308]I know! I have to admit I even cringed a little when I posted them! I was worried half you dudes were going to say "I KNOW her!"[/QUOTE]Honestly, she looks like a white girl that I know back in the states. Obviously it's not her but she has some similarities.
[QUOTE=Efjayel;1368435]Honestly, she looks like a white girl that I know back in the states. Obviously it's not her but she has some similarities.[/QUOTE]Her family is Spanish. Light skin and eyes of color.