Filipinas - Opinions and Advice

[QUOTE=Dashing Don]Now here's a post that I never thought I would make.

Upon returning from my trip to PI a month ago, I met a girl on Filipina Heart. 18yo and a virgin from a place near Butuan in Mindanao. We chat and cam and she looks and seems very nice. I'm going back to PI on Friday and will meet up with her in Butuan on Monday. Thats after I quench my thirst in Manila.

If all goes well, I'm considering marrying her and taking her back to the US. I've done a little research on immigration procedures and the K1, or 'fiancee visa' seems the quicker of the two paths to take.

I do have assets and a good income to protect and she will have to sign a prenup. As yet I haven't sat down with an attorney to work out the details. I'm thinking along the lines of zero to her if either of us files for divorce in the first five years and after that, a lump sum for five to eight years, eight to twelve etc. I want to be fair to the girl as I'm taking the best years of her life, but above all, I must protect what I've accumulated in my 49years. I've never done this before and I'm curious if others have.

I've made enough jokes here and am quite prepared to have a few made about me. The crux of my question is this: if I have covered myself with a prenup, should I be unduly worried about anything else?

Any input welcomed.

Don[/QUOTE]Don,

I still don't get why you want to get married - unless it's that you want to have more kids. I agree that US women are challenging but that doesn't justify marriage. Since you're divorced, you know this - once you marry her, you are handing her a lot of power and ability to make your life miserable - you can't just blow her off like you can a gf or hooker. I would suggest you give single life a bit more time.

Anyway, if you do it, have a heart to heart with your lawyer. I don't know how rock solid even the best pre-nups are - some states have pretty strict rules about how assets are divided, especially after long (10+ year marriages) and if there is child support involved. BTW, I'm not an attorney

Good luck,

PB

Pat,

Thanks for your response.

I don't want to get married but thats the only way to get a Filipina in here.

I'm beginning to think that you are right about the attorney thing. If the prenup is airtight, there isn't much the girl can do. But if its not, then I'm in trouble. Of course, all this is pure theory.

Don

[QUOTE=Dashing Don]Now here's a post that I never thought I would make.

Upon returning from my trip to PI a month ago, I met a girl on Filipina Heart. 18yo and a virgin from a place near Butuan in Mindanao. We chat and cam and she looks and seems very nice. I'm going back to PI on Friday and will meet up with her in Butuan on Monday. Thats after I quench my thirst in Manila.

If all goes well, I'm considering marrying her and taking her back to the US. I've done a little research on immigration procedures and the K1, or 'fiancee visa' seems the quicker of the two paths to take.

I do have assets and a good income to protect and she will have to sign a prenup. As yet I haven't sat down with an attorney to work out the details. I'm thinking along the lines of zero to her if either of us files for divorce in the first five years and after that, a lump sum for five to eight years, eight to twelve etc. I want to be fair to the girl as I'm taking the best years of her life, but above all, I must protect what I've accumulated in my 49years. I've never done this before and I'm curious if others have.

Of course, child support is separate from this and cannot be negotiated away by private treaty. I already pay hefty child support but don't mind it as I love my kids and would like to have more.

This girl is very anxious to get married. There has not been any mention of money. She seems sincere. Even if she's not, I'll probably knock her up in the first few months she sets foot in the US, and then she'll be busy. But my feeling is that to be a wife and mother is what she ultimately wants. Just not in the Philippines.

My ex-wife, with whom I am very friendly, says that I will continue to make mongering trips even when I am eventually confined to a wheelchair. She could be right. I never saw marriage as a barrier to mongering.

Why get married? I've been apart from my ex for a year and I've had a serious look at the females here in the US. I've gone on dates; been set up by friends etc and mind you, these were with mostly latinas. But I'm not interested in the women here. Between equality and the lack of femininity, I'd rather get on a plane.

This topic has been brought up before and I paid it scant interest. There's even a section for marrying foreign women, but I think Filipinas are different, read best, and I'd rather get input from guys who know the PI. I was already married to a South American and am familiar with the ever needy family etc.

I've made enough jokes here and am quite prepared to have a few made about me. The crux of my question is this: if I have covered myself with a prenup, should I be unduly worried about anything else?

Any input welcomed.

Don[/QUOTE]Dear Don,

I married a Filipina after divorcing a local Australian. This was the worst decision of my life; things changed after the marriage. Some of my mates also married Filipnas and are in the same sad situation as myself.

My advice:

1. Do not marry anybody at all for two years; go on mongering and be clear on the qualities you want in a wife. Do not be seduced by the expertise of the RP girls - they promise so much and are a sheer delight while courting.

2. Learn to manage on your own; learn the cost of running a flat or house etc.

3. Why is this 18 yo keen on you? Think about it. My experience - and I have lived in RP for a while - is that she sees you as a ticket to the 'good life'. Many RP think people in North America, Australia, Western Europe are all rich. She will continue to be very sweet to you while she believes that you will marry her or, more pointedly, support her financially and materially. She will, of course, not mention money until after the marriage ceremony. She is not stupid; she would not want to jeopardise the prospect of a materially better life. Her friend would encourage her and would be jealous of her meterial prospects.

4. If you find an RP female you think you love, live with her for at least a year and check her out.

5. During this time, observe her carefully. Watch out for the following - my list is incomplete-

* Asking for (and even demanding with tantrums) very excessive $ for housekeeping (she saves the excess and mails it to relatives).

* Buying heaps of clothes - and then sending boxes of stuff that is 'out of fashion' etc to relatives.

* Demanding an annual funded visit with $ for expenses to RP to see relatives or attend 'important' funerals etc.

* Using sex as a reward for being obedient. In Tagalog, her friends talk about what they do to gain materially from their marriages to white guys.

* Unwillingness to visit your friends with you. I have lost all of my pre-marriage friends and now talk to guys like me who married an RP female.

* Continuing to call RP 'home'; in their minds, they will always be Filipinas abroad making a life for themselves.

* Telling you 'hard luck' stories about herself and other Filipinas ('relatives')

6. If you still widh to go ahead with a marriage, either the female is an exception (and there are, obviously, some few good Filipino females) OR you are thinking with your heart or your dick and not your head. Pre-nups are not worth a great deal if she makes your life with her a hellish experience.

7. Asia is a big place; in my experience, I find many Chinese girls to be better and supportive partners and they continue to be very feminine.

Best wishes

Ray

[b][u]EDITOR'S NOTE[/u]:[/b] [blue]I certainly hope that the author or somebody else will post a link to this report in the Reports of Distinction thread.[/blue]

[QUOTE=Dashing Don]Pat,

Thanks for your response.

I don't want to get married but thats the only way to get a Filipina in here.

I'm beginning to think that you are right about the attorney thing. If the prenup is airtight, there isn't much the girl can do. But if its not, then I'm in trouble. Of course, all this is pure theory.

Don[/QUOTE]

ANYBODY who gets married in this day and age SHOULD get a pre nup no matter where the bride is from, I would say double that if the woman is an American or Americanized (read a liberated student of Hillary, Sally Jesse and Oprah) and they learn fast. There are some built in safeguards by the system, for instance she must clear her first year (or is it two???) before any of her entitlement rights attach. You understand that your prenup is good only in the USA or state in which you reside and they all have different laws concerning a pre nup, and that such a document means crap in the Phils, you have no rights as a foreigner she gets EVERYTHING in the PI.

Here are a couple of points:

MAKE SURE a copy of the prenup is translated to Visayan!!!!

You can make her (or anybody else) your beneficiary if you are legally married, should something happen to you (face it, you are going before her coz of your age!) in the first year of marriage, she will get something. DO NOT make your attorney executor of your will, he will step in and take a heafty cut. You can do your own will and have it notarized and a copy left with your Kids, relatives etc.

These things I learned doing PI work for an attorney in the USA and what I know of Phils law.


Good luck

Spamhog

Thanks fellas for the feedback.

I'm still not clear on a couple of things though:

If she changes her behavior for the worst within the first two years of marriage, I can just divorce her and she'll have to go back to the PI...without a financial settlement. Right? Between the provisions of US Immigration's K1 visa which deems that there be a two year waiting period (to defeat gold diggers), and the freely-entered-into prenup, she's snookered. At least so it would seem.

I can't live with the girl as I have a job/house/kids etc here in the US. Thus, I have to import her. I seem to remember a poster who did this a lot. A New Zealander I think. Just can't remember his handle. He would bring them in for a while. Test driving and all that.

I certainly wouldn't invest, get married or otherwise entangle myself in the PI. Everything would be done in the US.

Ray, I'm thinking with my dick of course! Having a nice 18yo sharing the sack with you night after night has a certain draw to it. And I'll monger till the day I die. If she looks at me as a meal ticket, so bet it. Thats ok. The broads here in the US look at their men as meal tickets too, despite all that phony equality garbage. In any business I've seen, very very few women can hold their own with aggressive males. So they marry them. Much simpler.

For seven good years, I had the best of both worlds. I had a nice Peruvian wife, kids, home etc AND I mongered every few months. It was great. Came to an end though. So I'm looking to replicate that. Obviously I will not be advertising my mongering proclivities to any future mate. Just hoping I can get away with it and that if I do get caught, by that time a certain acceptance will have crept in on her part.

Several of the posters here have Filipina wives and speak highly of them and the girls, even the hookers in the PI, do seem very sweet. I'm just trying to navigate correctly. I think that the next step will be to sit down with an attorney but it won't happen before I leave on Friday.

Cebu Local: I tried pming you last week but your box was full. I need to book a hotel in Butuan. I'd appreciate it if you can get back to me in the next few days. Thanks.

Don

Don
You have PM,Sorry I cant weigh in on Filipinas,because I am getting engaged to a Chinese.But I wish you all the best luck Cheers CL

Hmm... a fifty year old divorced man importing a teenager for marriage with a pre-nup then trying to ditch her before her two year conditional visa is up; such stories always have an interesting ending. I'm sure the family court judge and immigration will take a long hard look at this one and arrive at their own conclusions, especially after the first anchor baby arrives.

Pre-nups can be thrown out if the judge thinks that the terms were unfair or one party's rights were violated. The consular officer will also make sure that girl is informed that she is entitled to an unconditional green card after she makes a call to the local police station and they file domestic violence charges against her elderly husband.

American women frown upon old men who bang 18 yr old girls and have ensured that laws like IMBRA exist to deal with those who marry and import these girls from impoverished nations. Also, test driving foreign women with a K-1 visa has officially been put to an end.

[QUOTE=Dashing Don]

The broads here in the US look at their men as meal tickets too, despite all that phony equality garbage. In any business I've seen, very very few women can hold their own with aggressive males. So they marry them. Much simpler.[/QUOTE]Don,

Most American women look at men as meal tickets but not always. A fair number of wives make more than their husbands. My ex-wife was from a wealthy family who sent us money. Not likely to happen with a Filipina or Thai girl's family.

Anyway, I'm fairly close to your age and also worry about protecting my assets - which is why I don't plan to get married anytime soon, unless I meet a great rich girl. In the meantime, when I want to fuck an 18 year old girl, I consult Craigslist or plan a trip to Asia or Brazil. Don't forget, your wife may be a hot 18 year old now, but I've seen some cute Filipinas balloon up in their early 20's - why get yourself tethered to one?

In California, after 10 years of marriage, I believe all assets are split in half - and I'm not sure if you can avoid that with a prenup. One solution I have heard about is trusts, which in some states last 100+ years or indefinitely and shield your assets from lawsuits, divorce etc. My sense is that they are a pain in the ass to set up though, and limit your access to your assets. Again, ask your attorney and/or accountant about it as I'm not an expert.

PB

Aside from the poster who deliberately misread everything I've said and portrayed me as some kind of predator, I've been listening to the other posters and as the day approaches, I find my thoughts turning to protecting my assets rather than bagging the young tail and taking it back to the US. I don't intend to do anything rash on this trip and I have a few girls as backup to call if the main one doesn't work out.

It does seem as if prenups are only for short term relationships. I've also heard that prenups can be overturned if they go against 'the public interest'. That nugget I heard from an lawyer. But I haven't sat down with a family lawyer yet.

It'll be interesting to see what happens as I've never gotten this 'deep' in a relationship with a Filipina. And I'll report back on what transpires.

Thanks to all,

Don

Don,

I'm a few years younger than you, but have had the same thoughts about bringing a great young babe back from the PI.

I'm no lawyer, but I have looked into how pre-nups work pretty closely. I have done a lot of reading on it. I would say, based on research, that even if the relationship ends within 0 to 5 years, you are going to have to pay a fairly significant settlement. Not in the 50-50 split range or anything like that. But depending on your assets it could be a 5 figure number. If she's staying in the states, you'll probably have to pay alimony for at least a while. A court would not allow her to be left to become destitute.

If she really changes in the first year or two, the law does specify that after divorce, she goes back. But you know how immigration really is here. I am not 100% that it would be enforced. There are an awful lot of people here illegally.

Good luck, and of course have a blast on your trip. I (and likely others) will be very interested in your future reports, including advice you get from an attorney.

CS

[QUOTE=Dashing Don]Aside from the poster who deliberately misread everything I've said and portrayed me as some kind of predator, I've been listening to the other posters and as the day approaches, I find my thoughts turning to protecting my assets rather than bagging the young tail and taking it back to the US. I don't intend to do anything rash on this trip and I have a few girls as backup to call if the main one doesn't work out.

It does seem as if prenups are only for short term relationships. I've also heard that prenups can be overturned if they go against 'the public interest'. That nugget I heard from an lawyer. But I haven't sat down with a family lawyer yet.

It'll be interesting to see what happens as I've never gotten this 'deep' in a relationship with a Filipina. And I'll report back on what transpires.

Thanks to all,

Don[/QUOTE]


Don:

You ARE correct Pre nups CAN BE OVERTURNED, or at least contested, Divorce settlements can be CONTESTED and SO CAN YOUR WILL!!!! I STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU MAKE A WILL AHEAD OF TIME and name your beneficiary (Kids from previous marriage or a blood relative) BUT ANYTHING can be challeneged in court, that is why God (or is it the devil?) made lawyers. She can hire a lawyer and contest anything and drain your pockets doing it as YOU have to hire a lawyer right back! Yeah Right where is a teenaged Filipina going to find a lawyer in the USA??? well there are plenty of womens organizations who would champion her cause and portray you as a "predator" and a monster who took advantage of this poor young thing, you know how our Politically correct our society is. That is one reason why I suggested you make sure she has copies of EVERYTHING translated to visayan, to prove that you didn't take advantage of her ignorance.

Best you can hope for in such a worst case scenario is that she would get tired and frustrated with the legal system, run out of patience and just head back home to the PI with whatever small settlement you were willing to stipulate to. (I personally think the Filipina psych is geared towards this one) If you live in a state with a "no fault" divorce such as Virginia (where it takes 9 years of marriage before assets attach) count yourself lucky.

Spam hog

FIRST ERRORS IN THE QUOTE DEPT PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR THAT.

This is not an "OJ" CRIMINAL case, it's a civil matter, big difference.It will not matter about personal public opinion's it's not about the world standards it's about you.
If you follow the outline she gets half of what you "earned together" no more or less,not anything either of you had before the happy day.The key here is money and you have the assets not her and money talks nobody walks,nobody.And this is true all over the planet.I would expect problems if written by yourself but through a competent attorney very hard to break.We are not talking about headline breaking cases here,we are talking about regular people not two millionaires or land Barron's or oil tycoons.Regular (MY KIND OF)people.

I am not talking about the new voe rich guys that live in the PI now.(Who were regular guys at home)I am speaking about the average.

QUOTE;Spam Hog;
You ARE correct Pre nups CAN BE OVERTURNED, or at least contested, Divorce settlements can be CONTESTED and SO CAN YOUR WILL!!!! I STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU MAKE A WILL AHEAD OF TIME and name your beneficiary (Kids from previous marriage or a blood relative) BUT ANYTHING can be challenged in court, that is why God (or is it the devil?) made lawyers. She can hire a lawyer and contest anything and drain your pockets doing it as YOU have to hire a lawyer right back! Yeah Right where is a teenaged Filipina going to find a lawyer in the USA??? well there are plenty of womens organizations who would champion her cause and portray you as a "predator" and a monster who took advantage of this poor young thing, you know how our Politically correct our society is. That is one reason why I suggested you make sure she has copies of EVERYTHING translated to visayan, to prove that you didn't take advantage of her ignorance.

Best you can hope for in such a worst case scenario is that she would get tired and frustrated with the legal system, run out of patience and just head back home to the PI with whatever small settlement you were willing to stipulate to. (I personally think the Filipina psych is geared towards this one) If you live in a state with a "no fault" divorce such as Virginia (where it takes 9 years of marriage before assets attach) count yourself lucky. END QUOTE;


Lets take first things first.If the gal wants to contest what you say is right as far as the pre nup goes where will she get the money? Do you think a good counselor from a local free or low cost legal service will cut the mustard.The answer is no way.If you draw up a prenup nup in the us or another country she will NEVER GET ANYMORE THAN WHAT SHE SIGNED FOR,AND AGREED TO GET.

The reason the contested wills are so sticky is there is no representation for people to argue with.Meening the deceased.The only one that wins is the lawyer.Most people do not outline and have papers on hand showing an outline as to what they want someone to receive.Most contested wills are in fact showing the person had no will at all.The family members are fighting over personal property that is owned by an estate."They fight with the person mostly the executor" which they usually see as a threat by some or all the family members. People throw good money in after bad all the time and this is a fools errand.I have a very good friend that had a prenup nup signed by his now ex wife and she got nothing but what was outlined in the paperwork.She also had her own money to fight if she wanted and she declined any further FOOLISH action.

I would rather take my chances with the prenup which in most cases is "IRON CLAD" than be happy to find out you should have in the final analysis.Like they say a fool and his money soon part,I want to protect mine.

MORE PEARLS'


B.B...

Spam Hog I messed up the quote function on the lower post and did my best to fix it.

B.B..

I've had the pleasure of spending a few days with The Senator from the great state of New York, Dashing Don.

DD, you know what my gig is. I've got a young lady stabled in the P.I. who I come out to visit with every 2 or 3 months. The bottom line is I'm treated very well by her without the threat of her unpacking my saddlebags and taking half my shit. I know it would be nice having her live here in California but it just ain't worth the risk of having her "change" once she gets here as others have stated.

Take my advice and keep the little lady in the P.I.. She will take good care of you and the cost impact is minimal. I'd suggest you get on the frequent flyer program with Philippine Airlines and you will be upgraded to first class before you know it. Just have a Scotch and an Ambien and you will be there before you know it.

Speaking of Philippine Airlines, I got a kick out of butthole Surfer's comment bashing Philippine Airlines for the "unannounced technical difficulties" which causes them to land in Honolulu every time he has flown with them. Surfer, that stop in Honolulu is called "refueling". You see, there is a wind way up in the sky called a jetstream and when airplanes fly west, they fly against this wind which uses more fuel and that requires them to stop for a fill up. P.I. Airlines now stops in Guam, not Hawaii for this "technical difficulty" Surfer refers to.
[QUOTE=Surfer]flew that PR 102/103 MANY times in the 90s, and unannounced "technical" stops in HNL are all too common going over [/QUOTE]

PAL is (better said WAS as I have not flown them in almost 10 years) NOTORIOUS for adding unscheduled stops in HNL when the load factror is light. Yes OCCASIONALLY a very strong ghead wind might necesitate a stop in HNL but fuinny how they skipped the stop when the flight from SFO (or LAX) was full, but when not they would cancel the separate flight from HNL (PR 108 I THINK) and put those passengers on the SFO-MNL flight. The 747-400 they used has more than enough range to amke that flight nonstop with FAA mandated reserves. Gotta PLENTY of other PAL stories but I won't bother.

Don: I am impressed you are going to Mindanao (finally getting out of Manila) but don't expect ANY 5 star level of hotel in Butuan City. Or 4. Or 3. WEll maybe there is a 3 star by now (they were building a nicer hotel last time I was there)

As a lawyer who had a TIGHT prenup with a Filipina and went through a divorce, I can tell you that the Court ALWAYS can invalidate your agreement if found not "equitable". Also, even if she wanted to she could not waive alimony (now called spousal support) or child support (HIGH probability you WILL knock her up as Filipinas are breeding machines). Prenups only deal with allocation of property (or assets) accumulated during marriage. A prenup is ESSENTIAL, but realize it only goes so far.

Why am I am helping you when we are enemies? Because I am a generous and helpful person by disposition.